Lies and Truths
by OnetimeSOA
Summary: Tara finds Jax and Collette together. What does she see and what's the aftermath? Bad summary but I hope you'll read anyway. In my SOA universe, everyone is alive except Clay. Liberties are taken with dates and events. This story contains strong language and graphic sex.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own nor do I claim any aspect of SOA. This is what I would have liked to see of the scene between Jax, Tara, and Collette. Consider it the premium cable channel adult version (wink, wink). Therefore, if you object to strong language and written depictions of graphic sex, please do not read! It is not my intent to offend; I am new to SOA fanfic and haven't read enough of it to see the norm. That being said, continue as you will…**

Lies and Truths

Tara walked into the large house already on high alert. There was something in Juice's demeanor that gave her pause when he wrote down the address for Jax's meeting.

Jax - Tara had to get to him, to make him understand. Things between the two of them were bad – the worst they'd ever been. Even worse than the time just after the attempt on Donna's life.

"_Collette is with a client..."_

Left on her own, Tara slowly climbed the stairs, alert replaced by apprehension upon discerning that this was a brothel. When she reached the top, she saw a series of closed doors on each side of a long corridor– bedrooms she supposed. She was assaulted by a cacophony of sex sounds, some loud, some muffled, some muted, some clear, some garbled. Somehow, Tara was led to approach this one particular door. She walked to it and stood in front.

_Tara Listened…_

…and heard deep panting, female squeals and sighs.

Then she heard, "…that's it, baby. Take that dick…" uttered by a familiar tenor, raspy with lust. The sentence was punctuated by creaking bedsprings, lengthy moans, and the deep grunts and guttural sighs of male and female ecstasy.

"Ooohhhh! Fuck me good like before," moaned the woman.

"I'm all about consistency and excellence, Darlin'," was the man's breathy response.

She opened the door slightly.

_Tara Peeked…_

…and saw the naked bodies of a man and woman, writhing in that ancient dance.

She couldn't see faces as the headboard was positioned directly across the room from the doorway, flush against the wall. Clothes were littered on the floor and the sheets were bunched up by the foot of the bed, pushed there, no doubt by the physical exertions of the bed's inhabitants.

The woman was on top of the man, grinding hard, her head thrown back in pleasure, her back to Tara. After a few moments, she lifted herself off his dick and crawled backward a few steps between the man's legs, her ass jiggling in the process. She stopped when her face was over his groin.

"My turn to suck on YOU," she giggled. The woman lowered her head and began to bob, each motion accentuated with wet, slurping, sucking sounds. She hummed, as she twisted her head from side to side. The recipient was hissing and sucking his teeth, clearly enjoying the special attention.

"That feels so fuckin' good," he said, "but now, come on back up here. I got somethin' for you."

The woman climbed on and started riding him again. Then Tara saw the man's hands slowly circle the woman's waist, the SO/NS rings in full view. Tara gasped, hating confirmation of what she already knew - Jax was cheating and he was not with this woman for the first time. Hot tears threatened to fall…

"Oh hell yeah!" Jax moaned and sucked his teeth while bucking his hips upward.

Tara opened the door more widely and stepped fully into the room-a room that was heavily fragranced by the smell of sweaty sex, rancid cigarettes, stale liquor and cheap perfume.

_Tara Watched…_

…and felt a stab of pain from each of Jax's thrusts into Collette. Tara was riveted in place – having an out of body experience seeing Jax and Collette together. Suspecting and even knowing was one thing, but this – seeing them going at it with her own eyes?

Clearly, the couple didn't notice her or they just didn't care since they continued to fuck with focus, intensity and abandon. The panting, hisses and moans were getting louder. Jax trailed the SO/NS hand down Collette's body to her ass cheek, to which he gave a few gentle pats then a stinging smack. He then trailed his hand over to Collette's side, and up to the front of her body. Tara knew that he was squeezing Collette's breast as this was one of Jax's moves that she knew well.

Jax then hugged Collette more tightly and pulled her torso down against his chest. Jax positioned his head just so and he sucked Collette's nipple into his mouth, jackhammering her from below. Tara knew this move as well. He rolled himself and Collette to their sides, fucked her sideways, then rolled her to her back, never losing his rhythm or pace. Collette's legs were spread wide and Tara watched as the woman's legs began to quiver uncontrollably.

The muscles in Jax's back, ass and thighs rippled as he fucked Collette hard and deep. Sweat pooled at his lower back. He ultimately lowered his chest onto Collette and Tara could hear loud, sucking kisses and heavy panting along with the sounds of wet, slapping, flesh.

"Oh my God! Jax! Jax! Jax!" screamed Collette.

"Tara," Jax responded. "So good, so fuckin' good…Tara, baby…"

"MMMMnnnnnnnnn…Call me anybody's name you want as long you keep giving me this dick," Collette whispered. "Whenever you want and you never have to pay."

At that, Jax pulled out of Collette and was settling her atop of him again, but this time she was facing Tara. Jax's dick was clearly visible as it entered and withdrew from Collette's pussy, only to enter again. In those precise moments the pair finally recognized the presence on an observer/intruder.

_Tara Moved…_

…and rushed to the bed, throwing down her purse.

The significance of the sound of her name on Jax's lips while he fucked Collette paled in comparison to the all-consuming fury she felt.

"Fucking bastards!" she shouted.

Tara was powerless against the blind rage that gripped her - blind rage at the whore, at her husband, at herself. Reaching the bed, Tara grabbed a fistful of Collette's hair in each hand. She then dragged the naked woman off of her equally naked husband and dragged her across the bed. Tara threw Collette to the floor, dropped down on top of her, and began punching her in the face repeatedly, cursing the woman for the filth that she was.

Collette was taken by complete surprise, so engrossed in her sexual haze, was she. All she knew was that one minute she was getting some of the best dick she'd ever had, and the next she was being beaten to a pulp by some unknown woman. Her face bloody, Collette began to curse and cry. She lifted her hands to try to defend herself to no avail. Collette was no match for this mad woman and she tried to turn her face toward the man she'd been fucking, the man she hoped would step in and save her from this crazy bitch…

Jax finally got over the shock of not only seeing his wife but also seeing his wife brawling with Collette –no, a brawl is mutual combat – Tara was beating the shit out of Collette like a woman possessed. He finally dashed over and grabbed Tara. Though Jax was a man who had had many fist fights over the years, and as in shape as he was, it took all his strength to pull Tara away. Even then Tara managed to get in a couple of hard kicks to Collette's mid-section and chin and was struggling against him to do more.

Tara, still in her rage, began to fight him, too. She slapped Jax twice, ferociously, punched him in the mouth, kicked him in the knee then tried to knee him in the groin.

"Don't touch me!" Tara shouted. "You fucking piece of shit! Your goddamn dick is still hard and wet from fucking that bitch! Stay away from me! I hate you! I hate you!" Tara turned to the crowd that had formed in the doorway to see the show – each of whom was grateful that they were spectators and not participants.

"I hate all of you," Tara whimpered, glaring at Tigs, Chibs, and Bobby, their betrayal of her cutting deep. The tears started to fall as she picked up her purse and stormed out.

Jax hurriedly put on his pants and shirt and tore after her, barefooted.

"Tara! Tara!" he called, in earnest.

Tara could barely hear his cries. Her head and heart were ablaze with the agony of her betrayal at his hands. Betrayal from Jax, the love of her life, Jax, whom she'd killed for, Jax, whose friends lives she'd saved countless times, Jax, whom she'd stolen for, Jax, whom she'd risked her medical career for, Jax, whom she'd gone to prison for…Jax, whom she'd stayed in Charming for, Jax, whose son she saved and mothered, Jax, for whom she'd had a son and for whom she right now carried another, unbeknownst to anyone but herself…

By this time, he'd reached her, grasped her arms to spin her around to talk to him. Tara slapped him again and Jax wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug.

"Tara – wait – please Tara, talk to me."

"Don't touch me – don't you fucking touch me. You're dirt and you smell of her – even your face and breath smell like pussy. What you've done to me…." Tara dropped her head, not wanting Jax to see her tears.

"Tara –I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you, please, wait. We have to talk."

"Now you want to talk after you've spent the day fucking that slut. I saw all the cigarettes and liquor on the nightstand in there. The time to talk was before." Tara pulled away and began to walk toward her car.

Jax grabbed her again and dropped to his knees.

"Please…please," he continued to hold onto Tara.

"I'm lost. I'm so lost. I've lost myself. I need you…" – he looked up at her, his eyes wet with tears. "You…you're divorcing me – throwing me away, taking our children - and I need you. I love you beyond anything else on this earth. I don't know what to do, anymore. I don't know…and I'm afraid. Please let's talk, let's get away from here and talk. Please…wait here for me. We'll leave together."

Jax ran back into the house and took the stairs three at a time. When he reached the bedroom, he saw a battered and bruised Collette still lying on the floor, crying. Tigs was sitting next to her. Collette looked up and managed a weak smile but Jax turned his head away, focused only on getting his kutte, getting his sneakers, getting his weapons, and getting back to Tara. His socks and underwear be damned.

As he exited the bedroom Collette asked, "Are you coming back?"

"No," Jax responded, without hesitation and without so much as a backward glance. "I should have never been here in the first place."

After he passed the onlookers who were still gawking into the room from the hallway, Jax ran down through the front door he had left open in his haste. He ran into the street only to find that Tara had gone. His tears again began to freely fall and Jax ran his hands through his hair, tangled as a result of his session with Collette.

He pondered his next move. He had to get to Tara. He had to get Tara back – she was his home, his rock, and his safe space. In spite of what he'd done, he loved her dearly. She was the only one who could save him…but would she?

A/N: Hi guys! Believe it or not, I just binge watched all seven seasons of SOA! What was I doing while it was on TV? Anyway, I loved it. Season 6 episode 10 grabbed me and wouldn't let go until I wrote this. I hope you liked it. I think it is complete as is but I am not sure (smile). But I do know that this is the only story I will write for SOA. Again, I hope you enjoy it. PMs and reviews are welcomed! SOA forever!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thank you so much for the encouraging reviews. This story is indeed turning out to be more than I originally thought it would. At some point I will redo the description because everyone is alive except Clay (the bastard). Also, I have taken serious liberties with episode timelines and actors. But it's fanfic, right? And that's what we do. **_

Jax looked up and down the street – no sign of Tara.

He checked the time on his phone – 4:30. He then walked to the brothel's back driveway, got on his bike and took off to Gemma's, thinking that if Tara didn't want to see him, she'd figure that his mother's place would be the last place he'd look. After 25 minutes, he pulled into Gemma's driveway. There were no cars out front, but Jax used his key to enter anyway. Looking around the place he confirmed that Tara wasn't there and neither Gemma nor Nero was at home.

Leaving the house, Jax hopped back on his bike and took off for the club. Arriving there, he parked. Opie, Happy, Koczik, other SONs and prospects greeted him, but he was distracted. He looked around the club house, then strode first to his office then to his dorm room – no Tara. Not only that, there was no indication that she'd been there.

Jax was walking through the clubroom on his way out of the building when Juice approached him asking if he could help.

"I think you helped me enough today, BROTHER," Jax snarled. "Why didn't you call me that Tara was on her way?"

"I did," explained Juice, "but I guess you were…busy." Juice smirked and before he could help himself, Jax punched him in the mouth, hard, knocking him to the floor.

"We'll discuss this later," Jax growled. He then turned and left the premises for his bike once more, barely noticing that Opie had fallen in behind him.

Putting on his helmet, Jax cranked up his ride and sped off to the hospital. Tara was officially on medical leave; however, since her criminal charges had been dropped, her hospital privileges were reinstated. Jax ran to Tara's office and finding the door locked, he ran off to the daycare. It was just a little past 6 by then, the center's closing time.

When he opened the center's doors, Jax anxiously looked around the brightly decorated child space. Abel was at play in the main room, along with another child or two.

"Mr. Teller, we were just about to call you as we couldn't reach Dr. Knowles," said the daycare director. "Your children are usually picked up well before now. Joanie, will you bring Thomas?" The young attendant nodded and promptly left the room.

"Yes, sorry about that Mrs. Johnson. We got our signals crossed."

Thomas was brought to Jax in his car carrier.

"Thanks," said Jax. "Come on Abel. Let's go home. Let us know any late fees, Mrs. Johnson."

"This is your first lateness and it's only a few minutes past the grace period. So don't worry about it. You all have a good evening." The cheery director smiled.

"You do the same Mrs. Johnson. We'll see you tomorrow,"

With that, the small family, sans Tara, headed down the hospital corridor. Jax, realizing that he had his bike, phoned Nita to ask for a lift home. He next phoned the club to send a truck to pick up his bike and deliver it to his house.

Nita arrived within 30 minutes. Two minutes after that, the boys were strapped into their car seats and headed home. Jax asked Nita if she was available to drop the boys at daycare on Friday and pick them up at 4. He might need her all day Saturday and Sunday, he explained. Nita agreed to take care of everything. Jax breathed a sigh of relief at that so he could not only rededicate himself to finding Tara but also monitor club business since SAMCRO had a ton of irons in the fire.

Jax didn't look it but he was worried. What if one of the club's many enemies had her? What if she'd fled from him for real this time? He recalled that Tara had a .38 with her. What if she'd harmed herself?

Jax flipped open his phone…5 calls from Collette, one from Chibs, 1 from Tigs, 1 from Gemma, none from Tara. He decided he would phone Tara once he got home and fed the boys. The others would have to wait.

The family arrived at home in 20 minutes. Jax unbuckled the boys and carried them into the house. He listened for sounds of Tara – she wasn't at home. Nita offered to help feed the boys but Jax refused, needing to tend to them himself.

"But can you stay just a bit while I grab a quick shower?" Jax asked. "I'd really appreciate that."

"Sure," said Nita. "No problem."

Nita led Abel to the living room and sat Thomas on the floor to play while Jax went into the bedroom. Opie plopped down on the couch.

Just then Jax's phone rang. Jax grabbed it eagerly, but checked the caller ID first – Collette, again. Jax sighed deeply, threw the phone on the bed, stripped off his clothes and walked to the en suite bathroom, naked. He paused in front of the large bathroom mirror and took a hard look at himself. There were deep dark circles under his eyes. His blue eyes, usually bright with mischief, were clouded over, the whites now gray. His normally lustrous hair looked like a bird's nest. There were faint scratches and grope marks on his torso – no doubt left by Collette.

Jax sniffed his arms, hands, and a lock of his hair. Just as Tara accused, he did smell of Collette and he didn't like the fragrance one bit. He breathed into his hand and sniffed, wrinkling his nose in disgust afterward. _Ugh, old, stale pussy…he thought to himself._ Jax thought about how he always hated to shower after he made love with Tara, wanting to be engulfed in her scent throughout his day. He loved it when she branded him with bites, scratches, hickeys. Though the guys would tease him sometimes he wore Tara's scent and marks as proudly as he wore his kutte and tattoos. Tara!

_But she wants to divorce you and take your children, the outlaw biker in him yelled!_ But truth be told, he had forgiven her that already once he saw the look on her face when she saw him at the brothel. Besides, as misguided as it was, whatever she did, he had driven her to it. Tara!

Jax brushed his teeth vigorously and gargled with mouthwash. When he finished, he stepped into the shower. He turned on the cold water full blast and shivered at the sobering force. He shook his head from side to side, with a loud _brrrr_ and droplets of shampoo bubbles and water hit the shower walls.

Jax then turned on the hot water. He poured a dollop of shampoo into his hand and washed his hair. He thought about how much he enjoyed it when Tara showered with him and she washed and conditioned his hair. He could feel her fingers gently massaging his scalp, her wet body pressed against him while he stood still, hands pressed against the wall, purring at the sensations brought on by this intimate experience with the woman he loved. Tara!

Leaving in the shampoo, Jax soaped his loofah with the bodywash Tara bought for him, and began to scrub his flesh, hard, from head to toe. He wanted to remove every trace of his visit to the brothel with Collette. He kept scrubbing, wanting to take off any skin cells that came into contact with her all the way back to his first time with her weeks ago. Jax's soul cried out again. Tara!

Jax completely rinsed himself off letting the water cascade down his body. He eventually turned off the water, got out of the shower and dried himself off. He looked at himself in the mirror again, feeling a little refreshed. The only thing to make this moment better would have been Tara standing there, watching him appreciatively, wearing that look, waiting for him to finish his toilette and come to her arms so that she could make love to him as only she could. Tara!

Jax went to his dresser, pulled out some white boxer briefs, a pair of sweatpants and an undershirt. Just then, his phone rang again. So deep was he in his thoughts, he spoke first, expectantly. "Tara," Jax rasped.

"Noooo - It's Collette. Hoping to hear from the missus?" she sniggled.

"The fuck do you want, Collette?" Jax snapped.

Collette was a bit taken aback by the venom in Jax's voice.

"Wow." Collette said. "Someone might get the idea that you actually give a damn about the old ball and chain. I just wanted to tell you that I'm here and willing to kiss it and make it better if you want to come back over."

Jax was seething, angrier with himself than with Collette – that his actions allowed Collette and probably others to doubt his love for Tara.

"I told you when I left this afternoon that I wouldn't be back – ever. Business partner or not," he responded. "I'm putting Bobby in charge of the whore business. You go through him. Don't ever call me again, for any reason, or you WILL regret it as much as I regret fucking your old whore ass. I thought I never would get rid of the worthless antiques - like smell you left on me. And that nasty cheap perfume you wear did nothing to mask it. Barosky is definitely more your speed, or the lack thereof," he spat.

At that, Jax snapped his phone shut and checked his call log. Nothing from Tara. He called Bobby and let him know that he and the children were in for the night. He also informed him that he was now point man for the club's fledgling pussy business. He added that he did not want to hear anything about Collette that was not completely business related.

Bobby's concerned response was, "I hear you brother. Get some sleep. We'll find Tara, don't worry."

"We have to Bobby, we have to. Good night Brother."

Signing off with Bobby, Jax took a deep breath and phoned Tara. His call went to voicemail as he expected.

"Babe," he started. "I searched for you this afternoon to no avail. I picked up the boys and we're here at home. Come to me, please. If not, at least call me and let me know you're alright. I love you baby. Come home. Please."

Jax closed the phone and put it in his pocket. He padded barefoot to the living room and apologized to Nita for taking for long.

Nita smiled sweetly. "l'll see you tomorrow to take the boys to daycare and pick them up and I'll plan on being here Saturday and Sunday mornings to spend the day. If you need longer tomorrow just call. Are you sure you don't want me to get them to bed?"

"No thanks, Nita. You have a good night," said Jax. "Opie, see that she gets home safe. Then go on home. I'll see you in church in the morning at 10 sharp. Let everyone know."

"OK, Prez. Your bike's out front. See you tomorrow."

After Nita and Opie left, Jax fed the boys, played blocks with them, bathed them, and read them 2 bedtime stories. Both were vigorously fighting sleep and Abel was crying for Tara. But Jax finally got them settled in bed and they drifted off to a restful sleep. Jax went into the bedroom he shared with Tara and sat on their bed a while. Dusk had settled and he pulled her pillow to his nose gripping it tightly, breathing her scent, and wishing the pillow were she. He finally laid down and dropped off into a fitful sleep. Tara!

Back at the whore house, Collette sat on the bench in front of her vanity, wearing a negligee. She gently fingered the puffiness and bruises on her face. She had two black eyes, multiple scratches and scrapes, and her body was sore from Tara's punches and kicks. She rejoiced in the fact that she still had throbbing in her pussy from Jax's dick, though. Barosky had called but she was able to put him off for a few days; hopefully some of the swelling and soreness to her facial bruises would subside by them. Collette was not pleased that her beatdown at Tara's hands interfered with her cash flow, but Jax was worth it all day every day.

Collette smirked as she thought about Jax's diatribe. Meant nothing, she was sure. Just his guilt over being caught with his dick out by his wife. She'd seen it before. He'd be back… Collette might just have to make certain that Jax's return to her bed would be sooner rather than later.

_**A/N: So as you can see, I am trying to redeem Jax for you guys (and me) after all the crap he's pulled. I am currently editing a few more chapters. Thank you for reading and please review! SOA forever!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Today is Another Day

Jax was awake at 3 a.m. unable to return to sleep. He tossed and turned for a bit, rose, checked on Thomas and Abel and roamed the house forlornly. The place felt empty and hollow without her, even though the boys were there. Is this how she felt the last two months? He had barely come home, so busy putting together and executing a complex plan to get SAMCRO out of guns. It hadn't been easy but there was peace at the moment – a fragile peace, but peace nonetheless. Jax went into the garage and lovingly resumed his work on restoring his Dad's Harley.

Jax then considered his hunt for new legitimate SAMCRO business opportunities. He snorted – that's what put him on Collette's path. Well, the Collette chapter was handled. He only hoped it wasn't too late with Tara. He had to admit, Collette was good at what she did. Not the sex part, but the part about quickly reading a man, getting into his head, setting an advantage to get what she wanted, which was usually money, but in his case was dick. She ended up getting that dick, too, simply by suggesting that he NEEDED to fuck her to rid himself of the anxiety, panic, and fear that gripped him. Why in the hell would he fall for bullshit like that and from an old hooker his Mom's age? After all, he was good at reading people too, but Collette out foxed him on that one.

Jax never considered himself a weak man, but in retrospect he certainly behaved as such, especially where women were concerned. He acted like a man who was powerless against pussy, given the proper personal pressure or inner turmoil. Why? God knows, he loved his wife to distraction. She was smart, beautiful, accomplished. She was the true gem of SAMCRO, saving lives every day, a healer. She'd saved Abel's life for God's sake, and Jax's brothers' lives on many occasions. Yet those twisted jackasses except for Opie stood by and let him go off the rails without even a reminder about what he held dear.

She could kick ass too, and he allowed himself a small smile at the sight of her wailing on Collett, then fearlessly stepping to him, too. There wasn't an old lady in a single west coast charter that could hold a candle to her. And she was his. He brought her into SAMCRO and she'd been nothing but an asset.

She loved him – he knew she did. She gave him her virginity when she was 17. She left Charming and then returned to him, knowing few men while she was gone. He on the other hand? What'd he tell her? Hundreds of women? Yeah, maybe in the first 4-5 years of Tara's absence but many, many, more were added in the next 4-5 years. In retrospect, it occurred to him that his men probably saw him as a pussy hound, also, unable to remain focused for long on what was really important.

Wrong. He was a man in complete control of who and what he was. He knew what he wanted – his wife and family first. Second, he wanted to preserve his father's legacy. In that order. He was handling the legacy situation with the deftness of a UN negotiator. Wife and family? Not so well, he finally admitted to himself. That would prove to be more difficult, especially when his behavior had been so out of alignment with his stated principles. That would stop – and it would stop today Jax thought. Jax walked out of the garage to the desk in the living room, found his journal and began to write.

Thomas woke at 7 and Jax changed him, fed him, and played on the floor with him. His beautiful son, the one he made with Tara. Jax missed his birth and the first few months of Thomas's life due to Jax's incarceration. Jax placed Thomas in his playpen, then quickly showered and dressed himself.

By this time Abel was awake. Jax cleaned him up, dressed him, and fed him too. Jax packed their diaper bags, then Nita arrived. Jax helped her get the boys to the car and then they left for the daycare having received liberal daddy-kisses, enough to hold them for the day. Abel didn't ask about Tara this morning, apparently satisfied with Jax's explanation that she was away on business.

"I'm headed out too Nita. I plan to be back by 6. If anything changes, I will give you a call. OK?" said Jax.

"No problem – I'm available if you need me to stay later," said Nita.

Jax smiled that megawatt smile and kissed Nita on the cheek. "You're a treasure Darlin'," he said, squeezing her arm. "You two be good boys today and I'll see you later," he instructed. And once Nita pulled the car out of the driveway, Jax roared off.

Soon, Jax arrived at T-M and parked in his space. He strode into the clubhouse with new resolve. Once inside, he was warmly greeted by his brothers with hugs and kisses. There were a few crow eaters lying about the place, too, eying him hungrily.

"Church in 5 minutes," Jax announced. "I want SAMCRO business reports." He entered the chapel and took his place at the head of the table.

Overall, the meeting was uneventful. Chibs reported that the Niners, Chinese, Mayans, and irish were good. The peace was holding and merchandise was moving without the SONS – for now. Bobby was having Chuckie go through the books at Collette's and Juice was upgrading Collette's website and phone system. The only outstanding issues were Barosky and Marks. Marks was currently being held without bail, but they were certain he planned some type of retaliation once he was released. They needed a plan, but they decided to meet on this topic later. Jax told Chibs to make sure his contact would keep SAMCRO posted on any release developments. Tigs decided to talk to Jax privately about Collette and was patiently waiting until the meeting adjourned. As to Barosky? He was a watch, wait, and see.

The elephant in the room of course was Tara. Happy was the first to ask. "Heard from Tara, brother?"

"No, I haven't," said Jax. "I've called her, but the calls go straight to voicemail. I'll start looking for her again once the meeting is over. I thought of a few new contacts to make so I'll handle that."

"What if you don't find her?" said Juice.

As his brothers' grumbles and mumbles coursed through the room, Juice argued, "Well, I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking."

"I'm not thinking that," said Bobby.

"Neither am I," said Chibs, seeing nods around the table. "Look, ye fucked up bad yesterday, Jackie. We all did," he said, looking around the table. "We love Tara and we shoulda tried to talk sense into ye and stopped that whole thing from going down. But we also know that Tara really, really does love ye Jackie-boy. Whatever she did, it was out of love for you and those boys. You calm down, she'll calm down, call you, and come home."

Juice shook his head no. "is she even worth all this? Come on Jax! You're the prez man! Fuck who want, when you want. She's just an old lady. Tell her to shut up, sit down, and get in line! Let her ass go! She'll come back or fuck her."

At that, Jax leapt from the head of the table, grabbed Juice by his kutte, and dragged him out of his chair, tipping it over in the process. He held Juice upright and started to beat him mercilessly.

"You mother…," Jax roared. "You are the one who told her where to find me and didn't call me that you did, he spit out breathlessly between punches. Was that your plan? For Tara to leave me? Why? Why?"

"I called you," sputtered Juice as he was attempting to defend himself. But by this time, his arms were listless at his sides, and his head was lolling left to right with each blow.

"OK-OK-OK, that's enough," said Chibs, separating the two men.

"Keep him out of my fucking sight!" shouted Jax, as Chibs and a prospect dragged Juice to the dorms to be cleaned up.

Jax stared after Juice, his blue eyes blazing, then took his seat.

"If there's nothing else, meeting adjourned," he said, banging the gavel.

As everyone else filed out of the chapel, Jax called Tigs over. "Keep a fucking eye on Juice. I don't want him going anywhere by himself. He's up to something and we can't afford any screwups. We need to keep everything tight!"

"You got it brother," said Tigs. "And about Collette…"

"I don't give a fuck about Collette," Jax interrupted.

"It's just that I talked her out of pressing charges and I found a doc to discreetly tend to her face. Doesn't look like she'll need plastic surgery."

"Press charges?" Jax asked, incredulously. "I wish that bitch would! And I don't give a fuck about Collette's face. Bobby is now point on the pussy. Talk to him."

"OK, Jax," said Tigs and he left the chapel to find Juice.

Jax continued to sit there. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took several deep breaths, preparing to make his calls. Once he came up with a guise, he looked up the phone number for Chicago Presbyterian Hospital. His guise worked, and within 15 minutes he learned that no one at the hospital had spoken to Tara in any official capacity. They went on to say that they would be delighted to entertain her application should she desire to return. Jax thanked them and ended the call.

Using the same ploy, Jax phoned the hospital in Oregon that extended a job offer to Tara in the past. Same outcome – no one had heard from Tara. Jax had one last card to play. But he had barely eaten for almost 2 days now, so he decided to get something then rest a bit before heading out. But first he checked his call log: 1 Gemma, 3 Collette, and 1 Barosky. What the hell did that fucker want?

Jax rose and walked toward the clubhouse kitchen. Ima spied Jax and headed him off.

"Hey Jax," she said, her voice dripping with a thinly veiled offer of sex. "Want something to eat? I can take care of that for you."

Jax fixed Ima with a murderous stare. Bobby saw the scene unfolding and dashed over to rescue Ima.

"Come with me darlin'," he said to Ima, ushering her away from Jax. "You need to stay away from him if you know what's good for you. Your time is passed."

Ima peeked at Jax and found that he was still giving her the death stare, so she quickly nodded yes and exited the clubhouse to her car. Then Bobby called Chuckie and asked him to rustle up a sandwich and drink for Jax, which Chuckie did. Jax polished off the food quickly, not realizing how hungry he was. He then went to his room.

Once inside, he phoned Tara again, leaving another message. Jax decided to phone Gemma later this evening – he was completely aware that he couldn't blow Gemma off much longer because he really didn't want her stopping by anywhere looking for him. Maybe he would give Nero a heads up and get Chibs to call Barosky. At that, Jax laid down and soon dropped off to sleep.

**A/N: I'm struggling here. You guys don't review much, do you? (Shameless pandering) SOA forever!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Will This Day Never End?_

Jax had awakened this morning in a sweaty panic. Tara had been missing now for two and a half days. He quickly showered, dressed and took off. Once at the clubhouse, He called Opie, Tigs, Bobby, Chibs, and Unser, to meet him in the chapel right away. When the crew arrived, Jax began.

"We got nothin' on finding Tara. Even my sources turned up nothing. I want the search ramped up but I don't believe she's in Charming. If she were, we'd have found her by now. So Unser, I want you to use your law enforcement buddies to search. Start at the Charming city limits and fan out from there. Check records for indications of cars bought and sold, airline tickets, anything. Depending on that outcome, be prepared to reach out to your contacts in friendly MCs between here and up Canada and have them looking for her as well. But we wait for Wayne before we take that step. I don't want any outsiders using this as a way to tip the balance of power or upset the peace we've just built. Questions?" Jax asked, with authority. Hearing none, "Keep me posted," he ordered.

Everyone left the chapel except for Tigs. "what about Juicy?" Tigs asked.

"Stay on him," said Jax. "Any preliminary info?"

"I agree he's definitely up to something. He's acting real spooky."

Jax nodded. "Thank you, brother."

The two men left the chapel. Tigs left the building but Jax remained in the clubhouse, pacing restlessly. He played a few games of darts, a few games of pool, and a game or two of poker – all with Opie. He had an early lunch, laid down for an hour or so then called Nero and asked him to come to T-M. Nero did, arriving within 15 minutes of the call.

Nero greeted Jax warmly. "So what's going on?" he asked. Jax led Nero to the chapel where they both sat.

"Long story short," said Jax, Tara's missing. Been gone almost 3 days. I've got people looking for her but I'm going out of my damn mind, here."

"What do you need from me?" asked Nero, worried for Tara but also for Jax. "How can I help?"

"Keep mom off my back. She doesn't know, and I can't deal with her on this right now. I already know what she's going to say and it's nothin' I want to hear."

"What about the kids?"

"Our regular sitter, Nita, is helping out a little extra right now. We're managing the home front fine for now."

"Well if you need me, I'm there for you. I gotta ask, though, what happened?"

Jax sighed, heavily. "Tara walked in on me and Collette a few days ago. Collette and I… weren't just talking when she Tara came in." Jax looked at Nero to make sure he understood, not being able to bring himself to say the words. "I had walked out on Tara when I learned that the miscarriage was bogus and that she was divorcing me…. Tara came looking for me right after to clear the air. We'd been going through it since her release."

"Yeah, but Mano, you escalated the whole situation by doing that thing with Collette. Tell me something. Right at this moment, do you even care what Tara did?'

Jax shook his head no.

"You just want her back."

Jax nodded yes again.

Nero clasped the back of Jax's head. "Banging other women is never the answer to problems, Mano. Just makes matters worse every time."

"I see that now," said Jax.

"But why did you even go there? You could have gone to the clubhouse, my place, or Gemma's. Damn, Opie's couch. Why? Didn't you tell me Collette asked about me and you warned her off 'cause of Gemma and her temper? Didn't you tell me you saw her with Barosky?"

Jax looked at Nero like a deer in headlights and began to sob. Nero stood, pulled the younger man out of his seat and hugged him tightly, offering words of encouragement and comfort. "What were you thinkin', Jax? Figure it out – the sooner you know the sooner you can put this type of shit behind you. You're a better man than all this. I know you are," Nero whispered. But he honestly didn't know if this situation would work out well for this man whom he had quickly grown to love as a son, though he prayed it would.

When Jax was calmer, Nero called Gemma and put her on speaker.

"Hey Gem. What are you up to? Want to grab a late lunch?" Nero sweetly asked.

"Hey babe. Naw – I'm going to drop by Jax's place. I've been calling him for a few days now and I can't get him, Gemma answered.

"Oh yeah?" asked Nero innocently, looking at Jax. "I'm here with Jax now, at the clubhouse. We've been hanging out this morning. Wait - you're on speaker."

"Jackson?" Gemma exclaimed. "I've been calling you!"

"I know, Mom I'm sorry. Been busy," he answered.

"Is everything alright?"

"Absolutely!" Jax quickly replied.

"And the boys?" Gemma added.

"They're fine."

Nero interrupted the conversation, stating, "Hey Mama. Look, I'm starving. Meet me at Sid's, now. I need nourishment."

"Ohhhh, OK, baby. 15 minutes. And Jackson?"

"Yeah ma?"

"Call me later."

"OK."

"I love you, Jackson."

"I love you too, Ma."

Nero ended the call.

"Thanks man, for everything," said Jax, grateful to Nero that he wouldn't have to face Gemma just yet and grateful for the life-lesson words of wisdom from same.

"You're welcome, Mano. I hope everything works out." With than, Nero clapped Jax on the back and took off for the restaurant.

**A/N: SOA forever!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Now Am Found…_

About an hour after Nero left, Jax got a call from Unser.

"Jax, we may have found something. I was checking the traffic database and found that Tara's car received a ticket for expired tags in Lodi on Wednesday evening. The vehicle was driven by its owner Tara Knowles according to the official record."

Jax felt a glimmer of hope for the first time in days. "Was there any other info? A local address or anything?"

"No," said Unser. But the ticket will be dismissed if she brings in proof of registration by this upcoming Wednesday. She hadn't come in yet, though."

"Thanks Wayne. This is helpful. Oh, and Wayne? Do not tell Gemma anything about Tara. She doesn't know."

"OK – Jax, no problem. Find our girl."

Jax stood up from his seat and beckoned Opie. And filled him in. Once the pair entered the chapel, Jax called TO, prez of the Grim Bastards up in Lodi on a secure line. Jax had had personal dealings with TO in the past and found him to be trustworthy, competent, and discreet.

"TO, it's Jax, man."

"Jax. What's happenin' man?"

"I need a big favor. I'm trying to track down my old lady. She's been missing for almost 3 days. Intel has it that she's in Lodi. If you can have a few guys you trust search for her, I'll owe you one. I'd don't want some of our more enterprising members to use this as leverage to impact the peace we've brokered." Jax took a long slow drag on his cigarette.

"No problem brother," TO quickly replied. "What have you got?"

Jax gave TO Tara's full name, info about her car, her physical description, what she was last wearing. He also told him about the ticket so that someone could keep an eye on the local magistrate's office in case she showed up there to take care of it.

"I can't spend another night with my boys crying for their mom and I don't know shit about where she is," stated Jax.

"I hear you bro. We'll handle it," said TO.

And he did. Within the hour, he phoned Jax that one of his guys saw the car parked in the parking lot of the Spring Mountain Suites. He said that a woman fitting Tara's description got in and drove off.

"Where is she now? asked an anxious Jax.

"Apparently still driving around town. Can't tell to where yet.".

Jax asked that TO's man stay with her adding, "I'm on my way."

Jax raced through clubhouse, "Bobby, Happy, Chibs, Opie, let's go. Get the van, Chibs, you drive. We may have found Tara,"

The drive was about hour and a half. It was late afternoon when they arrived. Jax had phoned Nita and let her know that he might be late. Then he phoned TO once they hit Lodi city limits.

"TO, we're in town. Where is she?"

"Hold on." TO conference called his guy. "Leon, where is she?"

"She's at a park at 10th and Washington, sitting at a picnic bench. She's been here for 30 minutes or so."

Jax said, "I know the place." He remembered when he, Tara and the boys left Charming to drive her to a medical conference in Oregon. They stopped at that park and had an impromptu picnic. He and Tara had kissed, hugged, and talked for an hour while the boys played. Then Clay attempted to have Tara kidnapped, she was injured, and they rushed back to Charming.

Jax was excited. He would see her in minutes – part happy that she was OK, part angry that she had refused his calls – just abandoned him and the children. The anger part was rapidly taking over the relief part. "Keep her in your sights and let me know if she tries to leave, but don't stop her. I'll be there in 5."

They parked a block away from the park and walked toward the picnic area. Jax spied TO's man leaning on a tree. Jax nodded and the young man pointed in Tara's direction before he left.

Then Jax saw Tara. She was sitting with her back to him at a picnic bench, watching children playing on the swings. He signaled for his men to wait while he continued his approach.

Tara sensed someone behind her and she was overcome with a feeling of dread. She was already despondent, but this feeling was so much worse. She turned her head slowly and saw Jax, who was dangerously near her. Tara gasped audibly, looking around for a place or a person – anything to run to. Then she glimpsed Bobby, Happy, Opie and Chibs watching the scene before them and she knew she had no hope. Tara resigned herself to her fate.

Jax sat down across the table from her, taking her in. Her shoulders were stooped, her face haggard and pale. Her clothes were wrinkled and her hair hadn't been combed in days, looked like. She probably hadn't been eating, either. Jax's anger was replaced with concern.

"Tara…,," Jax called softly.

Tara began to sob. "I'm sorry, Jax. So sorry. Just please make it quick," she pled. "Tell our boys I love them, always."

"What are you talking about?" Jax rose and sat next to her. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. He noticed that she flinched when he touched her and it hurt him that she did.

"What are you talking about, Tara? You think I'm going to kill you?"

"Gemma told me that the boys could be told that either I went away or passed away. Left the choice to me. Since you're here, you have obviously decided for me," she said, quietly. Tara wiped a few tears from her face.

"Tara," Jax said gently. "You're my wife, the mother of my children…"

Tara sniffed sarcastically, interrupting Jax.

"What exactly has that gotten me thus far? Subjected to the wrath and machinations of a mother-in-law who hates me. Attempts on my life not only by MC enemies but also by family. Humiliated, disrespected, then cast off by you like one of the condoms you used or that I hope you used with your sluts."

Jax winced at the characterization of Tara's feelings. Then Tara's body began to tremble and she got this half-dazed, half-crazed look in her eyes. "Who am I? What am I? I don't know anymore…" A single tear tracked down her face.

Jax stared at Tara's still beautiful face. Worry and regret filled him with despair for what he'd done. He realized that he was looking at a broken woman. He did this – he broke her, mentally, spiritually, physically. Jax grabbed her hands, clasping them tightly in his.

"Tara – I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

The look that Tara gave him caused him to stop mid-sentence. She just stared at Jax, hard.

He continued. "I don't want her, I want you, no one but you and my family. I forgive you. Please forgive _me_. Did you hear my messages?"

"Lies!" Tara screamed so loudly that she caused park visitors to glance in their direction. Even Jax was visibly startled.

"I saw your face, Jax. I saw it all – what you were doing. There was some connection there. That wasn't some one-night stand like Ima. Or that Nevada slut, or Wendy even."

Jax tried to keep his face stoic but shock registered just long enough for Tara to see it.

"That's right," she huffed. "You didn't know that I knew. Kohn sent me sex pictures of you from that Nevada run. As for Wendy, did you honestly think she would keep quiet about sleeping with you the night of Abel's homecoming? You moved her into your house for God's sake! That bitch couldn't wait to give me the news. Why do you think I called Chicago to leave? I figured that between Wendy herself and your mother, I didn't stand a chance. But your lies gave me hope. I decided to channel Gemma wait it out and stay. The truly sad part is that Wendy'd still be a better mother to the boys than Gemma."

"You never said anything," said Jax contritely.

"I did say something, Jax. I told you what I wanted and needed from you to stay. I was clear Jax. No cheating. I wanted a commitment from you. Instead, I got public humiliation in front of people I considered to be friends and family. But time has had me rethink that designation for them. The only person who seemed to care about me at all in any of this was Opie." Tara glanced in Opie's direction.

"I was working hard trying to give you what you wanted – us out of Charming," Jax argued. "We are so close baby – SAMCRO is out of guns and there's a peace in place."

"At what cost Jax?" Tara spat back. "The last 2 months have been total chaos. Murders, kidnappings, beatings, arson, bombings. How long before something goes wrong and the insanity starts again? I have been so frightened and alone. I tried to tell you about my fear so many times. I was petrified, my career and livelihood were on the line. I needed comfort from you and where were you Jax? Bedding some whore? I needed you – your sons needed you and you bailed on me, you bailed on them like you bailed on Wendy."

"So you thought faking a miscarriage, divorcing me and taking my children from me was the answer?" asked Jax, his anger rising again.

"I thought it was a better option than my sleeping with SAMCRO associates or hangers-on, or my colleagues from work in order to keep my esteem from taking hits, or stroke my ego, or relieve my stress - whatever your excuse was this time. I could have - slept with other people - if I wanted to, you know." Tara held her head up and looked Jax squarely in his eyes, the blue of them darkening in rage at the thought of another man's hands on Tara's body.

"I also thought it was a better option than having Abel and Thomas grow up in fear and confusion unable to discern what's good and what's bad in this world. And having them watch their dad turn into more of a monster every single day. I watched you buckle under the weight of your decisions, each day plaguing you more than the last. I don't want that for our sons, and your dad didn't want it for you. Can you honestly tell me you want this for Abel and Thomas? Do you?" Tara asked, in earnest.

Jax looked down at the ground. "SAMCRO is my father's legacy, Tara…"

"Stupid man!" Tara screamed, louder this time. She jumped up from her seat and slapped Jax's face hard. So hard that his brothers started to move toward the couple, but Jax held up his hand halting them.

"SAMCRO is NOT your dad's legacy, Jax. Tara paused, staring Jax down again. You are!"

**A/N: OK – I am back to asking for reviews because I am dying to know how you are liking the story so far. And besides, I love hearing from you. SOA forever! **


	6. Chapter 6

The End or the Beginning?

Jax sat motionless for a several moments, his brows furrowed in thought about Tara's statement. Just like that, he stood, pulled Tara into his arms and began kissing her face and lips tenderly at first, then with desperation and need. Their respective tears mingled on each other's faces. "Tara…Tara," Jax softly murmured.

God help her. Tara was responding to Jax as she always did. His lips were so familiar, soft, and warm, his hands on her were heaven. But suddenly Tara pulled back from him. "You still smell of her and every time I blink I see the two of you. Then her face is replaced with Ima's, then Wendy's then a score of nameless faceless women all serving to remind me that my heart has no safe place with you."

"Tara…"

"No, Jax."

"Tell me what you want me to do, right now. Today. This minute. I'll do it – anything," Jax pleaded. He was still holding Tara's face in his hands, resting his forehead on hers.

"No, Jax!" Tara spoke, louder this time, pushing Jax away. "I'll not fall into that trap again where I tell you what I want and you silently resent me for it. Then when I least expect it and can handle it least, you blindside me with the nearest blonde piece of ass like you did when Abel was taken. I was pregnant with your son, Jax, when you resented me for staying with you. I begged Gemma not to tell you and I was on my way to get an abortion when Salazar took me. When he punched me and was about to kick me in the stomach, I screamed that I was pregnant and begged him not to. It was then that I knew I was keeping the baby, regardless. But Gemma told you and you came back to me because of Thomas."

The name Salazar resonated in Jax's body. Jax wanted to dig Salazar's ass up and kill him again. But Thomas? His beautiful Thomas might not have been born had Salazar not taken Tara. This was yet another convoluted deed that Jax could lay squarely on his own doorstep. And to think that he was loving Tara, missing her, searching for Abel, trying to stay 1 step ahead of the Irish, but he still managed to find time to almost screw Trinity, his sister. Nero was right. Jax had to figure his shit out.

Tara could tell by the look on Jax's face that he was remembering that time and the reminiscence was hitting him hard. He released Tara but stayed close, his jaw line flexing.

"Abel's kidnapping wasn't my fault, Jax. And neither was the stolen scrips episode, but you blamed me for that, too. Add that to the perfect storm of you wanting to fuck Ima anyway…'

"Babe, I know that the kidnapping and scrips episodes weren't your fault." Jax nodded his head. He resumed holding Tara's face in his hands. "I found out today that Darby was at the clinic seeing a doctor that day and he apparently saw us. And it's not true about wanting Ima. I am sorry…so sorry," he whispered, "for everything."

"I was just trying to protect our unborn baby," she cried, while Jax nodded and continued to hold her.

"Dammit Jax. I don't want to live my life worrying not only about my husband leaving the house and never coming home, but also about him coming home reeking of 25 or 50 year old pussy too.'

"Tara…" Jax started kissing her again. "Talk to me. Let's work this out. I love you. Do you still love me?"

"I can't talk anymore. Please, I don't want to talk anymore now."

Jax could feel Tara growing weak in his arms. He sat her down and sat next to her, stroking her hair, concerned.

"Then when can we talk? We can't leave things like this. I don't want to leave things like this."

Tara gave him this look of defeat and despair. It was not lost on Jax she hadn't answered the question about whether she still loved him. As badly as he wanted an answer, he backed off.

"Come here tomorrow," Tara finally said after a long pause..

At the unspoken question in his eyes Tara added. "I can't come back to Charming right now. I just can't. I assume you know where I'm staying? Come to my room – 148 – noon."

Jax gave her a reluctant nod, "Noon," he repeated.

Tara sighed. "I want to go to the Target shopping center up the road to pick up some clothes. I'm ripe – I've had these on for the past 3 days. Then I'm going to get something to eat and go back to the hotel. You can pass this itinerary to whomever you have following me. It'll be easier for them to keep up."

'No, I won' t have you followed," said Jax. "I trust you."

"Wish I could trust you," replied Tara.

Jax ignored the comment. "But turn on your phone. You should call Abel and Thomas tonight. They've been crying for you."

"Hmmm. Probably in the same way they cried for you. I'll call."

Tara disengaged from Jax and stood. Jax rose also, took her face in his hands once more and began smoothing her hair away from her face. He kissed her, deeply this time.

"Tomorrow." he said. "I love you."

Tara turned and walked across the park to her car.

Jax watched after her until she entered her car and drove off. He then walked over to his crew.

"Where to Jax? Want us to follow her? We can call the Grim Bastards again," offered Chibs.

"No," Jax said. "Won't be necessary."

"Why?" asked Bobby. "What's happened?"

…After a long pause Jax quietly said, "I really don't know."

**A/N: Do you think Jax expected to hear any of this from Tara? He seems to be taking it all well, though. Stay tuned! I wrote the last 4 chapters at the same time, so the next ones will be a little longer coming but they are coming nonetheless. Thank you so much for the reviews – you know how I love them. SOA forever! **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello everyone. Thank you so much for the PMs and reviews. Each one means the world to me. **

There's More – Part I

Saturday morning passed in a blur for Jax. Nita came over early and Jax slept in as best he could, given that Abel insisted upon joining him in bed after his breakfast. Jax wouldn't be surprised if he had a cracked rib or two from the toddler's restless kicks. So Jax rose at 9, played with Abel and Thomas for 30 minutes, then made calls to his crew. He even called Gemma explaining that he had business out of town to attend to and that Nita had the kids. Escaping Gemma's meddling again, Jax took an extra long shower, dressed and waited for Opie to come to accompany him to Lodi.

Tara awakened early and went for breakfast at a diner near her hotel. It was important that she keep her strength up as today's meeting with Jax would be critical. She was sorry he found her so soon. She had hoped for another day or so of tortured peace.

Last Wednesday was horrible! Tara diagnosed herself with a mild case of shock/PTSD because of it. Once she checked into her hotel, she elevated her feet, raised the air conditioning temperature and tried to stay calm and comfortable. She didn't sleep at all Wednesday night, napped a bit Thursday afternoon, slept a little Thursday night. She hadn't eaten since…she didn't remember for sure. Though weakened, Tara was feeling well enough to get some fresh air on Friday and she ended up walking right into Jax.

She told him pretty much everything she had to say about the events of the past few months. She truly was sorry and couldn't believe how she could conceive and carry out such an elaborate plan to leave Charming. A faked miscarriage? Deals with law enforcement? Who the hell was she, Gemma or Jax? The mistress and master of the long con. Her plot was something right out of their playbooks.

This new plan was a lot simpler but would prove difficult. Why? Because she really did love Jax, but just as she feared early on into their adult relationship, love was not enough. Tara returned to the hotel, picking up a few newspapers and magazines on her way in. Upon entering, she kicked off the sandals she bought yesterday, turned on the TV and lay down. She would get up at 10:30, shower, then prepare for her meeting with Jax.

She had Thomas and Abel last night at their usual bedtime, just as she promised. Thomas squealed when he heard her voice and Abel asked her when she was coming home. She sidestepped his question by assuring him that she loved and missed him and would see him as soon as she could. Abel seemed content with that answer, but she wasn't, and she cried herself to sleep, just as she was doing now.

The time went by quickly and Tara awoke on schedule, a skill she learned in med school. She took a leisurely shower, complete with a thorough shampoo. She lotioned herself with a smell good product she bought at Target, put on new underwear out of a pack, then selected one sundress from several new sundresses to put on. The one she selected was a casual, sleeveless, loose green and white print that brought out the green of her eyes. Its hem rested a few inches above her knees. Tara looked in the full length mirror and decided that she approved of her appearance. What had her mother told her? _When you feel worst, try to look your best..._

At 11:55, Tara went to her SUV, and fished an accordion folder out of the well that held her concealed spare tire. The folder was stuffed with papers – notes, documents, printouts, copies. But before she could reenter the hotel, Jax and Opie rode into the parking lot on their Harleys. They both approached her and kissed her cheek.

"Morning, darlin'," said Opie.

Jax kissed her cheek a second time, murmuring, "You look beautiful this morning."

He then issued an instruction to Opie who returned to his bike. After this, he followed Tara to her hotel room to resume their talk.

Jax was anxious to get to it. Tara's revelation that he was his father's legacy shed a whole new light not only on his Dad's manifesto, but also on recent club events.

Once inside the room, Jax looked around. There were 2 bedrooms on either side of a shared living room, complete with couch, desk, TV and chairs. The kitchenette was off to the left of the entry door and a dinette set was placed on the wall opposite.

Jax walked into the living room and sat on the couch and Tara offered him a drink.

"No, thank you. I'm good," replied Jax, appraising Tara from head to toe. He rarely saw Tara in dresses, and this one in its feminine and flowy simplicity was having quite an effect on him, one that he was trying desperately to ignore.

"So," Jax said. "When we ended yesterday, you said that I'm my father's legacy."

"And you said you'd do anything for me. I know what I want – no, need - from you, Jax," Tara said, taking complete control of the meeting. She picked up a large accordion folder from the desk, reached into it and pulled out a sheaf of blue backed papers.

"I need your signature on these documents," Tara stated firmly. "This one is for a divorce, granting me full custody of the children and permission to leave Charming with them. This one concerns distribution of property. It grants me all of my 401 k, the proceeds from the sale of dad's house, and proceeds, if any from the sale of my car. This one states that I do not want child support, alimony, or any other monies/property from you, now or in the future." As she finished, Tara laid a pen on the cocktail table in front of Jax.

Jax stood and began pacing back and forth, raking his hands roughly through his hair.

"Tara, wait, wait, just _wait_. I wasn't expecting this… I don't know what to…I had hoped that…I thought…" Jax sputtered.

"There's more. I have accepted a job down south and will be taking the boys there to live. My employer knows about my past here – I didn't want to risk any repercussions based upon issues of non-disclosure. They know about my injury as well. I start part time in 4 weeks, full time in 3 months which should give me enough time to heal. But I will leave here this Wednesday, 4 days away."

Jax, still pacing, opened his mouth to comment but Tara interrupted.

"There's more, Jax." Tara took a deep breath before continuing. 'I'm pregnant, 2 months."

_Pregnant!_ The words echoed loudly in Jax's brain and he stopped pacing in his tracks. He spun around and stared at Tara, his eyes automatically travelling first to her belly, then to her breasts. He stumbled over to the dinette table and collapsed in a chair. Tara rushed over to Jax and began rubbing his back. She was unsure as to what he was feeling.

But then, after a few moments, Jax turned in his chair to face Tara. He buried his face in her belly and held her to him tightly and began to sob loudly for the second time in 2 days, peppering her belly with soft kisses as he cried.

Tara continued stroking Jax's back and was running her fingers through his hair. Tara could feel his tears wetting her dress. "Jax," she whispered, tenderly.

Jax was in an explosive turmoil. Divorce, moving, pregnant…he was losing his family, the only woman he ever loved. He held her, unable to do anything but hold her. What could he say? What could he do? What had he done?

When Jax had no more tears, he slowly released Tara and wiped his face. He looked up at Tara's face with red-rimmed eyes. The pain, regret, sorrow and despair she saw there caused her to audibly gasp. She moved away from Jax and went to the fridge. She poured a cup of water and a cup of juice and brought them to him. He smiled at her weakly then sipped some water and drank the juice.

When he was finished, Jax leaned back in the chair and rested his hands on the table. After what seemed like an eternity, Jax walked to the couch, and picked up the documents and pen. Taking his seat at the dinette, Jax began signing, dating and initialing the documents as indicated by the many post it tabs scattered through the pages.

"Aren't you going to read them first?" Tara asked.

"No need," Jax replied, still signing.

When Jax reached the last document, he signed and dated it with a great flourish.

"You're free of me now," he said, looking forlornly at his soon to be ex-wife.

"That's where you're wrong, Teller. I'll never be free of you." Tara took the documents and returned them to the folder.

"There's more," Tara said.


	8. Chapter 8

There's More – Part II

Tara reached into the accordion folder and pulled from it a yellowed packet of letters tied together with a red ribbon. She set the packet in front of Jax.

"These are in chronological order with the oldest letters first. Read," Tara instructed.

Jax read the first letter while Tara stood there, then asked, "Where did you get these?"

"I think that Maureen Ashby must have packed them in your bag when you left Belfast. I found them when I unpacked you. I was afraid to give them to you for fear of what might happen, what you'd do. You were already feuding with Clay on and off. Gemma found a partial set of the copies and she urged me not to tell you and give her the letters. But she told Clay that I had them. It's what led to the attack on my life and Piney's narrow escape as well," she explained.

Jax dropped the letter to the floor then lowered his head to the table.

"Come with me," Tara said.

She took Jax's hand and led him to her bedroom. Jax stood passively, his arms at his sides, as Tara removed his kutte and his weapons, plumped the bed pillows, then encouraged him to sit. When he did, she removed his shoes and socks, and pushed him back against the pillows. She retrieved the letters, returned to the bedroom and sat next to him. She gave him the packet. "Jax, I am going to get you some lunch. I'll be back soon."

Jax nodded and leaned back into the pillows. He did not take for granted the loving care she was giving him, even after all he'd done. He was sickened when he thought about how he'd allowed Collette to treat him thus, when he had a beautiful woman who was his willing and able to do the same thing and more.

But he was still reeling from Tara's demands, though he'd acquiesced and gave her everything she asked for – divorce and custody of their sons, including their unborn baby. He owed her that. He owed her much more. But he was bereft about losing her and his family, nonetheless - never having Tara grow old with him, never seeing his boys grow up, never seeing his baby take its first breath. Jax desperately wanted the experience of going through pregnancy with Tara and having his child born into his arms. He had promised Tara this, now here was another promise that he would not keep.

Jax picked up his phone and called Opie.

"You OK in there?" Opie asked.

"Yeah, man. Tara's getting me some food. Why don't you go get yourself something? We're staying put for a while. I'm calling Nita that I might be late. Can you hang here for a while?" Jax asked.

"Yes," Opie responded. "Call me and let me know how things are going when you can."

About 30 minutes later, Tara tapped lightly on the bedroom door before she entered.

She stood next to the bed. "I see that you are almost done reading the letters," she said.

"Yeah," Jax replied. "I can feel how unhappy my dad was with the state of everything. He was so intent upon taking SAMCRO legit. Clay wasn't having it, and Gemma berated and belittled Dad for his choices at every turn. He died in fear of Clay and Gemma and believed that Clay tried to kill him.

"This also says that dad left a will leaving his share of T-M to me and some life insurance money to Maureen in case anything should happen to him. He gives her the attorneys name." Jax shook his head. "Half of TM is mine! I've never gotten a penny, never been included in the operation of the business. Clay and Gemma kept everything for themselves. If that fucker Clay wasn't dead already, I'd kill him."

Tara nodded. "Come out and eat something," she said, taking Jax's hand again.

"Wait," Jax said. "I need a pit stop first." Tara proceeded on.

Jax went into the bathroom, relieved himself, then flushed. He went to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. _Christ I look like shit he thought._ Jax splashed some water on his face, washed his hands, then headed to the kitchen area.

Tara had set the table with Chinese food containers, drink cups, napkins and cutlery. She even had a small bouquet of fragrant fresh flowers in a cup of water on the table, but Jax knew the flowers were for herself, not him.

"Food smells good, and the flowers are pretty," said Jax, seating himself.

He and Tara served themselves and ate in silence. Jax used a knife and fork, while Tara used chopsticks. Then the two of them cleared the table and disposed of the trash.

"I have dessert in the fridge if you want it," said Tara.

"Later," Jax said, reseating himself. He looked at Tara, searching her face to try to discern her feelings, but he couldn't.

"So why did you give me the letters, now?" he asked.

"As context for this," was Tara's prompt response. "There's more."

Tara retrieved the accordion folder again.

"I'm startin' to hate that thing, Babe," grumbled Jax.


	9. Chapter 9

There's More – Part III

Tara handed Jax a packet of papers, leather bound this time.

He opened it. The title read:

"Original By-Laws of the

Sons of Anarchy Redwood Original (SAMCRO)"

as agreed upon by

The First Nine "

Their names were all written under the title in bold print along with the founding date of 1967. Jax then opened to the first page which repeated the title but had official signatures, witness signatures. The next page was the table of contents.

"Where'd you get this?" Jax asked Tara.

"Piney gave it to me after the attempt on his life. Have you ever seen this before?"

"No," Jax replied. "I didn't know it existed. I learned the club's rules under Clay's reign. Most of us did."

"Interesting," said Tara, pursing her lips in thought. "Anyone else read them?"

"Of the current active members, probably not. There aren't many of the First Nine still alive," Jax stated.

Tara shook her head in disbelief that no one bothered to read the rules for themselves. "Figures, though," she huffed. "But every one of you thinks you know the so-called prison clause." She paused and looked at Jax.

"Read Chapter 7, Paragraph 3," Tara said.

Jax found the page. At the chapter title, his eyes widened and he looked at Tara, who continued to watch him with interest.

"Ch7- ¶3. Circumstances Under Which Members May Leave the MC with All Rights and Privileges Intact"

¶3 – Sub Ch A - Death

¶3 – Sub Ch B - Incarceration of 5 Years of More

¶3 - Sub Ch C – Joining the Military

Jax knitted his brows and looked up at Tara.

"Six members of the First Nine were former US military, having served many active tours of duty among them," Tara explained. "Clay was one of the exceptions. They wanted to infuse a strong tradition of military service, but they recognized that club membership might pose conflicts between mc activity and military service."

Jax resumed reading Subchapter C with great interest.

"So according to this, I could walk away with my kutte, tats, and rings, and join the military – no questions asked. Return to SAMCRO at my discretion, change charters, anything."

"That's the way I read it," said Tara. "Though I have had the by-laws for a while, I didn't read them until recently. Piney didn't say anything when he gave them to me. He just handed them over. Most of the original First Nine are at peace and Clay had no vested interest in making this known. Maybe Piney could shed more light. He takes his status as a veteran almost as seriously as he takes his membership in the MC. He says he was one your Dad's closest friends, too."

Jax began to shake his head. "i can't join the military with felony record."

"Maybe or maybe not," Tara said as she retrieved a bundle of computer printouts held together with a binder clip.

She passed the files to Jax while further explaining that there are several crimes that absolutely bar military service, but his was not one of them, though his conviction could still be a problem. Every application for service would be judged on its own merit. He would have to keep his record clean, get at least 5 letters of character reference and state his case personally and in writing as to why he wants to serve. Tara pointed out that the rules vary slightly across military branches.

"Your heart defect might be another matter, but the military does an independent medical evaluation on this as well."

Jax looked deeply into Tara's eyes. "Is this what you want me to do? Join the military?"

"I don't want you to do anything, Jax, except what you want to do." At Jax's look of longing, "I shouldn't be a factor in your ultimate decision and neither are the boys. My decisions have been made. What I'm saying is that if you want to leave SAMCRO, leave Charming, this might be a legitimate way you can do it without tainting the reputation and status you've built in the MC."

"I'll…"

Tara cut Jax off immediately. "Don't tell me what you're going to do. Or make any promises. Whatever you are going to do, just do it."

Jax then paused, "I have no right to ask this, I know, but will you help me?"

"No, Jax. I can't help you. I have to help myself, the boys, and my unborn child."

Jax nodded. Where he was hopeful just a few short minutes ago, he was now again overcome by sadness, realizing that he'd lost the woman who was not only his wife, but also best friend and confidante. There was some hope for a different future, he knew, but did he want a new future without Tara and his boys?

"You're still leaving with the boys?" Jax asked, more of a statement than a question.

"I am Jax. They need a shot at decent life. I do too."

"Where are you going?" Jax asked, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Tara sighed. "I don't trust you enough to tell you yet. Look, I don't want to cut you out of the children's lives, and I am open to working with you to figure out how your involvement can happen. But I don't want them touched by your chaos any more than they have already been.

"Also, you have to promise me that you will tell no one, especially your mother, about our agreements. I mean it Jax. I don't even want her to know that I am leaving until after the boys and I have gone. I don't want her figuring out some way to stop me from leaving with the boys. She's manipulated these situations before."

Tara huffed. "I thought she was so brave, finally admitting to the rape. But she confessed to me that she did it to keep you in Charming and in the club."

"I'm sorry, Tara."

"No, I am sorry, Jax. So how do you feel otherwise?"

Jax sighed. "Remember when I told you that I felt like I had a second chance?"

"Yes," Tara said, remembering that day well.

"I feel kinda like that but not quite. Listen, I have an idea," he added. "Since you are leaving in 4 days, why don't I go back to Charming, pack the boys and bring them here to stay with you now? This is a nice place, and there's a park nearby and a pool here. It has two bedrooms. If you don't mind, I'd like to stay also. I'll get my own room or sleep on the couch, or on the floor in the boys' room, whatever you want. Spend these final few days here as a family?"

Not wanting to see her reaction, Jax looked at the floor rather than Tara's face. He didn't think he could bare to see any disgust or rejection that might be registered there. He thought about the day he told Tara that and Abel were not his family and she was carrying Thomas at the time, unbeknownst to him. Even then, she was more of a family to him than Clay and Gemma, the selfish pricks.

After a brief pause, Tara said, "I have a better idea. Call Nita and ask her to pack a suitcase for Thomas and Abel. One for you, too. Ask Opie and Donna to stay here as well, with their kids. I'll get them a suite. Send Ope back to Charming now to bring everyone back in the van." Tara paused again. "This way, you won't have to leave…" she said softly, so softly that he barely heard her.

Jax allowed himself a small smile. "I'll speak to Opie. You call Nita?"

"Yes," Tara responded.

The calls were completed and everyone had their marching orders. Opie left for Charming and he and Donna were excited to have a small vacation. Nita was busily packing Jax and the boys.

Jax stood up from his seat and walked to Tara. He took her hand and led her to the window overlooking the outdoor pool and he leaned against the sill.

"Why did you do all this, Tara? I get the divorce, custody, move and everything. But why the by-laws, dad's letters, research on the military?"

"Because I still deeply love you, Jax, in spite of everything. I want nothing but peace and happiness for the father of my children."

Jax took Tara fully into his arms, resting his forehead on hers, that intimate gesture they both still adored.

"And I still love you so goddamn much it hurts," he said, tears beginning to stream down his gorgeous face. Tears shed for what he'd had, tears shed for what he'd lost.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: If you offended by foul language and written descriptions of graphic sex, do not and I repeat, do not read this Chapter! Otherwise, enjoy (wicked grin)!**

There's So Much More

Jax began kissing Tara's face tenderly. He angled her face, impatient to find her lips. When he did, Tara responded to him with equal desire and need. The pair deepened their kiss, each one's tongue caressing the other's, then finally dueling in passion. They pulled back from each other for a few seconds, then crashed back into each other, not wanting to separate.

Lips still joined, they struggled clumsily to Tara's bedroom, finally leaving a short trail of clothing along the way. Tara unzipped her dress and stepped out of it and her thong underwear. Jax had toed off his socks and sneakers, then broke his embrace long enough to remove his tee shirt, pants and underwear.

By the time Jax was naked, Tara was already naked and sitting on the bed. When Jax neared her, she grasped his already erect penis in her hand and began stroking him. She smoothed his pre-come around the tip then took him fully into her mouth, looking into his eyes as she did so.

Jax hissed in pleasure, gently holding the back of Tara's head as he thrust his hips forward. Jax dropped his head back, groaning in ecstasy.

"Tara," he moaned.

Jax pulled her off his painfully rigid member with a pop, so great was her suction. Jax crawled onto the king-sized bed and leaned back on his haunches, one hand resting behind him on the mattress, supporting his weight. Tara crawled onto the bed also, and bent over at the waist, her legs crossed at the ankles. She took him back into her mouth again, massaging the underside of his cock with her tongue as she sucked and wet the engorged member. She was gripping Jax's thighs with her hands, hard. His body was curved in a concave arc, his muscles tensing and releasing from the intense pleasure. Jax's breath hitched.

Tara pulled off him this time, licking around the edge of his penis. "Fuck my mouth," she commanded.

He did and leaned forward, now holding her head with both hands. Tara covered her teeth with her lips, bringing to bear a different pressure and Jax moaned loudly at this new sensation. Tara took him in slowly pushing her head forward toward his thrusts until her lips mashed against his balls and groin.

"Ughhh…Tara!" Jax cried out. "So good! Baby, so good."

Tara's lack of a gag reflex always amazed him. That, coupled with the fact that he was not a small boy in the dick department, made Jax feel as if he'd hit the jackpot with her.

Tara watched Jax's stomach muscles ripple as she mouth fucked hm. She smiled, humming in satisfaction. She loved the taste and texture of his cock and remembered times when she tried to mouth fuck him raw.

Jax smiled, too, remembering some of their sexcapades from high school. When he thought about the ways they physically pleased each other, especially while she was a technical virgin, Jax shouted aloud, the bass in his voice vibrating all the way to his cock.

Jax moistened the fingers on his right hand, trailed his hand across Tara's back, over her butt, then down in between her legs. He began to gently rub her clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Jax then sucked his teeth loudly, as he inserted his middle two fingers into Tara's pussy. He was delighted to find her dripping.

"I can't wait to be inside you," Jax growled in promise.

He was pulled from his reverie when he felt Tara's nails rake down his thighs.

"I love to see the knot of your muscles, when I do that," she sputtered breathlessly, before doing it again.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," he quipped. Tara snorted and made to resume full pressure and contact, but Jax held her off.

"I can't last much longer if you keep this up," he rasped, all humor gone.

Jax let loose another deep moan. He reached for Tara, dragged her to him, lifted her by the waist and sat her on his dick, roughly. Tara squealed in delight.

The two gazed into each other eyes as their bodies rubbed and rocked together sensually. It was Tara's turn to moan as she put her arms around Jax's neck, her long legs wrapped around his waist. He gripped Tara tightly at her hips, pulling her hips hard against him at a rapid pace. Jax's hands roamed up and down Tara's back. The feel of Jax's hands, and the heat and friction of their congress drove Tara to orgasm quickly, her body jerking and quivering uncontrollably against him.

"Ahhh, yes, baby, that's it. Come for me," he purred.

Jax moved his arms to Tara's waist again and pressed her into the mattress on her back. He sunk himself into her more deeply, grinding and rolling his hips through her orgasm. He could feel Tara's hot juices gushing around him.

"Ummm, ohhhh, I have to do it this way. Just for a minute. I just need a little bit," Jax begged.

Tara was twisting and turning beneath him and after too short a period, Jax pulled out of her, threw Tara's legs over his shoulders and dove into her wet pussy, face first. He held her legs wide open and fastened his entire mouth onto her vagina, licking her clit rapidly.

Tara was whimpering under the motion of Jax's expert tongue. She was trying desperately to get away from his torturous mouth, but Jax held firm. He flattened his body onto the mattress, rolling his hips against the rough comforter and he felt Tara grip his hair with both hands, pulling until he thought she would make him bald.

Now Jax was making licking and slurping noises, stiffening his tongue and dragging it across her clit and around her folds. "Damn your pussy tastes so good." He hummed, enjoying every second of what he was doing. Tara's body began to shiver again, her legs shaking. Tara crossed her arms over her breasts, keening in satisfaction. She threw her head back into the pillows, arching her back, screaming Jax's name again and again. He continued licking and sucking at her until her tremors ceased.

Then Jax entered her, slowly at first, each of them sighing at the contact. Jax started with short strokes, thrusting fast.

"Ahhh, ugghhh, Tara," he cried loudly. He then deepened his strokes, alternating his thrusts with intense grinding. The sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room.

Tara closed her eyes.

"No," Jax demanded. "Look at me. I want to see those beautiful green eyes when you come apart for me again. I love you. I love you so fucking much."

Jax's soul cried out for her to never leave him, but he ached knowing that was no longer a possibility. He buried his face in her neck, nipping the flesh under her ear.

"So sweet," he murmured, licking her earlobe and pulling at it with his teeth. Jax tangled his hands in her hair. When he found her lips again, Jax stopped his movements as he kissed Tara with such passion as to bring tears to her eyes and take both their breaths away. He ended the kiss by taking her bottom lip between his teeth and biting it gently.

At that pressure, Jax felt Tara's juices gush over him again. He pressed himself into her harder, then held still as he watched her pupils dilate and her mouth form a soundless "O". Jax grinned, his own heavy breathing exciting her further.

Jax rolled with Tara, until she was on top of him. He spread his legs wide and bent them at the knees. Tara began to ride him, hard, fast, and deep. Her palms were on his chest at first, but she moved her hands to his nipples, scoring them with her nails, feeling them harden beneath her touch, then rolling the nubs between her fingers. She growled wickedly.

"Oh my gosh," Tara said, then she began whispering unintelligible words as Jax grunted, thrusting into her as she rode him. He had been kneading her butt cheeks, but moved his hands upward to cup her breasts. He lifted his head from the pillow, pushed her breasts together and sucked both her nipples into his mouth. Tara could see the mischief in Jax's eyes.

But no sooner did his mouth make contact with her body, Tara stopped riding and grinding him. She climbed off and looked at him with fresh hurt and fresh tears. He knew she was triggered to relive what she saw of him and Collette a few days ago. _You never get over that kind of betrayal Gemma told him after the Ima incident….._

Jax sat up, regretting anew what he'd done. His skin was flushed from their lovemaking – his breathing only slightly labored. He had so much more to give her!

"Tara," Jax whispered, touching her face lovingly as she lay on her back, staring unseeingly into the ceiling.

He watched her, wanting to say something that might make it better.

"Tara," he said again. "I know that you are still going to divorce me and take our children. As much as I want us to fix this, I know that that's not possible, and it's all on me. I won't ask you to stay with me. Losing you is a consequence of my own bad decision making and bad behavior.

"What we were just doing? I wasn't trying to manipulate you or change your mind about anything. I only wanted us to enjoy our last few days together as a family - for our ending to be of some good memories not just all of the bad that I've done lately.

"Forgive me, Tara. It's just you and me, right here, right now. Just be with me, please. However, you want. Just let me hold you, at least. I will follow your lead. You are the only woman I will ever love, and I've loved you half my life already."

Tara sat up. She cupped Jax's cheek with her palm, then kissed him and laid back down. Jax lay down next to her on his back as well. Tara scooted closer, resting her head and palm on his chest. Jax entwined their fingers together, lifted her hand, and pressed several warm kisses to it before he rested it over his heart.

Still naked, the couple dropped off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms.


	11. Chapter 11

The Gang's All Here

The insistent buzzing of Jax's cell phone awakened him. When he first opened his eyes, he was disoriented, having been shocked awake from the deepest, most satisfying sleep he'd had in months. Coming to recognize his surroundings, Jax looked to his left and smiled when he saw Tara nestled comfortably into his side, still sleeping.

Jax slid over toward the nightstand and reached for the phone. Tara instinctively scooted over toward his warmth, resuming her place in his arms.

Jax smiled again at the small unconscious gesture. "I love you, too, babe," he whispered. He then spoke into the prepaid. "Yeah?" he said.

"Prez," responded Opie.

"Ope," Jax said. "Where are you? What time is it, anyway?"'

"A little after 4. I'm in Charming. I have Donna and the kids with me and I just picked up Abel and Thomas. We are headed over there now."

"That's great, Bro. Call me again when you're 30 minutes out. Everything OK at the club?"

"Yeah. I stopped by and everything is cool. You should call in."

"I will, Bro," said Jax. "See you later."

Tara started to stir but remained close to Jax.

Eventually, warm green eyes opened and looked into crystal blue ones. The pair stared for quite some time into each other's eyes.

_You take my breath away _thought Jaxas he gently stroked her face with the back of his hand.

_You take my breath away_ thought Tara as she gently stroked his chest with her fingertips.

Jax spoke first. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," Tara whispered back. "Who was that on the phone? Is everything OK?"

"It was Opie. They are all on the way. That was a great idea you had about Opie, Donna and the kids coming. Thank you – it'll be good to have them here."

"It was a great idea you had about bringing the kids now, to spend time with us both before we…," Tara strangled out, unable to say the words. "Thank you…."

"You're welcome." Jax paused before adding, "Opie will be here in an hour or so, but he'll call again when he's 30 minutes away."

"Good," said Tara. "It'll be good to see Donna and great to see the boys. I miss them so much. Let's order pizza tonight. We can all stay in, watch a movie or something, that is if you want."

"Sounds good, but let's take them to the park for a little bit. Let them burn off the pizza. Opie and I can do it. We won't be long. OK?"

"Sure."

Jax and Tara resumed staring at each other.

"No-no-no-no-no. I can't have this, Tara. We have never been uncomfortable or hesitant with each other, ever, from the first day we met. What are you afraid of? Not me, again, I hope," Jax stated sincerely.

"No, I'm not afraid of you, Jax. I guess I am afraid of what's coming next - the changes for me and the boys." Tara looked at the floor before continuing. "I am mostly frightened about going through this pregnancy by myself. It was hard, having Thomas alone, though your Mom and the club were supporting me. I only wanted you," Tara added.

Jax gently placed his hand on Tara's belly. "I am willing to do anything to ease this transition for you. You know, you said earlier that you are willing to work with me on visitation, and involvement in the kids' lives. Our baby will be here in 7 months…maybe you will trust me enough by then that I can come to – you know, help out with the boys and participate in the birth. Maybe I could even come when you are in your 7th or 8th month. That is if you will allow me. I'm not offering now or even asking. Also, letting me be there doesn't mean you're taking me back. I know that too and I'm not pressuring you in any way. I hope you get that. All's I'm saying is just let me know what you need from me."

Tara sat up in bed. "You'd do that? Drop everything to come to help me? Even now?"

"In a heartbeat. Especially now," said Jax, his eyes fiery in truth. He sat up as well. "I'm not just talking here, Tara. It's show and prove time. I love you and I love our boys. Nothing would please me more than to help you, help you care for the boys, and then, help you through the birth of our child.

"Also, I know that my going away for 14 months was hard on you. We couldn't really talk while you were carrying Abel. We couldn't talk about what you were going through, how you were feeling. But we can certainly talk while you are carrying this little one. Often as you want. About anything you want. If it makes you feel better we can do prepaids. I'll get you a couple before you leave. I'd like to be able to call you as well, just to see how you and the boys are doing. I promise not to call more than twice a week unless you want me to. Otherwise, you pick the days and times. But you can call me anytime, as often as you like.

"I'd like to write you, too. Keep you posted on what I'm doing. I can send the letters to your attorney in Charming and he can forward them to you. Is that OK?"

"Yes," Tara said. "I'd like that very much, about the letters and calls. We can discuss visits later."

Jax leaned back, took Tara's hands in his and kissed them.

"Feel better?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"Much," she said, smiling, the light returning to her eyes. Tara leaned down and kissed Jax on his lips, tenderly. _ Can I believe him this time?_ _Should I? _ she thought. _ Never worked out well for me in the past…_

"I love you, Tara, more than my own life," Jax said, "even though I wasn't acting like it…. Do you love me?"

"I do, God help me I do." Tara kissed him again, more deeply this time.

The couple gazed into each other's eyes for what seemed to be an eternity until Jax said, "They'll all be here soon. Let's get dressed."

"Let me shower first," said Tara. "You take too long," she teased.

"Very funny," Jax teased back and pretended to try to race her to the shower. Tara giggled as she got there first and slammed the door.

"You'll pay for that," Jax called out good naturedly, as he heard the water starting to run.

He decided to use the time to check in at the club. He was told that things were going smoothly. Jax informed them that he was out of town for a few days. Emergency contact only. Also, he wanted to have a mandatory emergency meeting Thursday afternoon.

Jax then phoned TO, explaining that he was staying in town on personal holiday with family until Thursday. He asked TO if he would please keep his ear to the ground and call if he noticed any increased MC activity in or near Lodi. TO happily agreed to do this favor for his brother.

Jax ended the call and stared at the bathroom door, listening to shower run. He laid down again, wishing that he could go in there with her. Images of Tara, naked, wet, and waiting for him were dancing in his brain. It pained him to know that he had no right to go to her so he thought instead about how he would enjoy these several days with Tara, the kids, and his best friends, just like normal people. That thought pleased Jax immensely.

He closed his eyes for a few minutes then Tara came in, wrapped in a towel. "Your turn."

"I hope you left me some hot water. Don't ever say I take long again. I was able to sleep for another hour while you were in there," Jax groused, barely able to keep a straight face as he entered the bathroom and closed the door.

"Delusional as ever," Tara chuckled.

By the time Jax came out of the shower, Tara was dressed in cut off shorts and a tank top.

"While you shower, I want to run and get a few things, snacks, and such. I won't be long. Also, can you go over this? I went through that Welcome to Lodi book and sketched out an activity schedule. Here's the book and the schedule," said Tara.

"OK – hurry back," said Jax. They quickly kissed, and Tara looked away.

_How easy to fall into old habits_ she thought. She then picked up her purse and car keys and left.

Tara had been gone about 30 minutes and Jax was dressing when his cell rang. It was Opie and he was 30 minutes out.

Not long after that Tara was back.

"Just in time – Opie called. They'll be here any minute," Jax told her.

After Tara stored the bags (and there were quite a few of them), Jax took Tara's hand and the couple walked through the lobby. Jax snagged a rolling cart to handle the luggage and pushed through the doors. Just then Opie drove up to the front doors and killed the van's engine. He climbed out as did Donna, who immediately rushed to greet Tara.

Screams of "Mommy, Daddy" could be heard from the back seats. Jax slid open the doors and removed his sons, hugging and kissing them. When he put Abel down, the small boy launched himself at Tara like a little missile. "Mommy!" Abel yelled, obviously pleased to see his mom. Thomas leaned out of Jax's arms and shook his little legs, eager to get to his mom as well.

"Hello, beautiful boys," Tara said, showering each with kisses.

Donna walked over and gave Tara a warm and kiss. "Glad you're alright," she offered, sincerely.

Jax and Opie opened the back doors of the van and began unloading luggage, including a stroller, 2 diaper bags, a small box of toys, a portable crib, car seats, a couple boxes of diapers, and a case of baby food.

"My God!" Jax exclaimed. "Looks like we're going away for a month."

"I know," replied Opie, "but Donna and Nita insisted I bring all this stuff. We're going to need 5 or 6 of these luggage carts!"

As Jax and Opie unloaded, Tara walked Donna and the children over to the registration desk, checked them in and picked up their room keys. By that time, the van was empty and Opie went to park it. Once he returned, the families started off toward their respective rooms.

"We were able to get you a suite across the hall from us. We're at the end of this hallway," said Tara as Opie's children took off running. Abel did too, trying his best to keep up.

"C'mon Mommy and Daddy," Abel shouted gleefully.

Donna took the key card and she and Opie entered their room, followed by their children, then Jax and Tara and their boys.

"This room is Beautiful! Oh my God. Look at this!" screamed Donna, opening the fridge and a few kitchen cabinets, touching the dinette table then rushing to each bedroom, before ending at the windows to check out the view. "There's a pool!"

Opie hugged Jax. "Thanks for this, man. The farthest we ever got from our house was the cabin and that was years ago."

"Thank Tara," said Jax. "It was her idea. C'mon. Let's get these bags separated and get settled in."

'Pizza at 6, our place," said Tara, as she wheeled the boys' suitcases across the hall.

**A/N: Last few days before Tara and the boys leave. Hope everything goes smoothly for the family! Please, please review. I love to hear from you, especially those from other countries. I use google to translate. The next chapter is in editing. SOA forever!**


	12. Chapter 12

Old Habits – Part I

Tara unpacked the boys and laid out pjs for them, while Jax set up the porta crib which he wheeled into the kids' bedroom. When Jax was finished, he handed Tara's schedule back to her.

"Made a couple of changes," he said. "Hope that's OK. I'll call for the pizza."

Tara noticed that Jax freed up Monday afternoon for himself and Opie and he crossed out activities Tara listed on Tuesday leaving the time slots blank.

Tara laid out paper plates at the dinette table for the kids and put paper plates and napkins on the cocktail table for the adults. There was a tap on the door at 6 – Opie and Donna and a few minutes later the pizzas arrived. Donna served the kids, Tara served the adults, and brought out beers. Conversation was light, lively and fun.

Once dinner was finished, Opie and Jax walked the kids to the nearby park. Thomas was in his stroller.

No sooner than the door closed to the room, however, Donna said, "Looks like things are smoothed over with Jax."

"Yeah," Tara stated. "He agreed to a divorce and gave me custody. The boys and I are going south on Wednesday – I have a new job there and I'm pregnant too."

"Wait," Donna said. "What? I can't believe this. Divorce? Leaving with the boys? Pregnant? What was so terrible that this is the solution? Jax loves you Tara! You know that."

"When it really counts, he doesn't act like it," Tara replied. Listen – the main thing is, I just want the boys to have a nice experience with their family intact before I rip them away from here."

Tara started to sob and Donna comforted her. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to upset you."

Tara wiped her tears and fanned her face with her hand. "It's these damn pregnancy hormones. So what's happening with you?" The two friends sat on the couch and began to chat.

Meanwhile, Jax and Opie arrived at the park. Opie's children went to the sliding board and Jax put Abel in the kiddie swing before lifting Thomas from his stroller. Jax sat in a swing holding Thomas and he gently rocked back and forth.

Opie watched Jax carefully. "So you guys worked everything out?"

"Yeah," said Jax. "Things are worked out, alright."

But Opie was suspicious about Jax's sadness. "You two are having a little honeymoon before you head back to Charming."

"No," said Jax. He explained about the divorce, custody, Tara's leaving and the pregnancy.

"What? You consented to this? Why?" asked Opie in total disbelief.

"Because I've hurt her enough, broke promises to her enough," Jax replied. "She wants to give our kids a better life, and I am not going to get in the way of that. Not anymore."

"Doesn't this bother you, man? You seem to be taking it all in stride."

Jax hanged his head. "This is tearing me up inside, Ope. Worst pain I've ever felt." Jax's eyes filled with tears. "I figured I could give them something pleasant to remember me by and I'm determined to do that. They leave on Wednesday to go down south somewhere."

"I can't believe you aren't fighting for your family, Jax. Do you want to be with that porn bitch Collette? Is that what this is about? Does Gemma know?"

Jax fixed Opie with a look.

"That Collette thing is the talk of the clubhouse and the garage. You gettin' caught red-handed with your dick wet, Tara putting a beat down on both of you, her shaming the guys for not speaking up for her, then running off. Most of the guys think that you've found her and have her stashed somewhere trying to fuck some sense into her."

"Naw, man. I wish, but that ship has sailed."

"No make-up pussy? You guys have always had a tight physical connection. If you could reestablish that…"

"We tried, but she is still upset about what she saw. Broke down in tears in the middle of things. She couldn't bear to look at me for a while after. But things are a little better now. You guys coming here with the boys is helping. But she's still leaving man. I am not gonna psych myself up into believing she won't.

"Gemma knows nothing – and it's going to stay that way. Also, for the record, man, I don't want Collette, Ima, none of them. And I am going to fight for my family, the best way possible – by being a better man, a different man, that's the only kind of fighting that will give me a chance to get my family back," Jax resolved. "But I know it will take time."

"How do you intend to do that?" Opie asked.

"I'm still working on it though I have some ideas. But Tara, as much as she hates me right now, gave me some things to think about. She could have just walked away and left me in my misery, Ope, but instead, she reached out her hand to tell me some things that might save me, in spite of everything I've done to her," said Jax, his tears falling.

"Are you sad, Daddy?" asked Abel innocently, his little mouth pursed in concern as Jax removed him from the swing.

"I'm OK," Jax responded, wiping his tears, "but you are not OK my friend because you are 'IT'!"

Jax touched Abel on top of his head and skipped off. Abel, giggling, chased him, while Opie saw to Thomas. Opie's kids started running too, pretending to escape Abel. Opie's daughter, April, let Abel catch her; she then ran to a squealing Thomas, told him he's 'it', and Opie started chasing everyone while he was holding Thomas. A minute or two in, Opie overtook his own son, Sam, touched him with Thomas's hand, and Sam took over as 'it'.

After another 15 minutes of frolicking, Jax fell down in the grass clutching his hands at his heart in mock surrender. That was everyone's cue to drop into the grass as well and once they each caught their breath, Jax put Thomas back into his stroller, and they all headed back to the hotel.

Opie and Jax walked in silence until they rounded the corner and turned into the hotel corridor of their rooms.

"So what's on the docket for tomorrow?" Opie asked.

"Breakfast out in the morning, the girls are on their own afterwards, and we're at the pool with the kids." answered Jax.

"OK, then. Hope we have good weather. Have a good night, man, and thanks again," said Opie. "I love you bro."

The two men hugged and entered their respective suites with their children.

"Hey," said Tara, as soon as she heard the door. She walked over to greet them in the small entry way.

"Did you boys have fun?" she asked, taking Thomas, and kissing Abel.

"I was 'it' Mommy!" exclaimed Abel.

"Oh, you were?" Tara asked. "I hope you were a good "it".

"I was a good 'it'. Thomas was a good 'it', too."

"I'm sure he was. Now come on – let's get you two 'its' in the tub. It is way past your bedtime."

"Daddy was a good 'it' too, Mommy."

Tara looked at Jax who sprouted a Cheshire cat grin at Abel's remark. "I know what you're thinking…don't you dare say it," she said to him. "It's not happening."

Jax grinned even more broadly then replied, "I'll give you a hand with the baths."

They entered the bath in the kids' room. Jax ran the bathwater and fished through the toy box for a rubber toy or two which he dropped into the tub along with a generous helping of baby bubble bath. At the same time, Tara undressed Abel and Thomas, and entered the bath with them in tow.

Forty-five minutes later, the boys were clean, fragrant, and dressed in their pajamas. They said their prayers and were lovingly kissed and tucked in for the night.

"I'll sleep in the room with the boys, but do you mind if I shower again in your bathroom?" asked Jax. "I don't want to disturb them."

"Sure," Tara said. "Your clean underwear and clothes are in my room anyway."

When Jax headed toward Tara's room, Tara went into the living room and lay on the couch. Until that moment she didn't realize how tired she was and a few minutes after she lay down, Tara was sound asleep.

Jax finished his shower and was dressed in clean underwear and a tank top. He preferred to sleep in the nude but had taken to wearing at least underpants in case little people called for him in the middle of the night.

_After Wednesday, I guess I can go back to sleeping naked _he thought, sadly.

Jax entered the living room and saw Tara asleep on the couch. He walked over to her and gazed lovingly at her face. He knelt next to the couch and stroked Tara's face softly.

"Baby, I am so, so sorry, for every wrong I've done, every promise I've broken," Jax whispered. "I pray that you can forgive me some day."

Jax kissed Tara's mouth with the softness of a butterfly's wings. Then he quickly stood, went into her bedroom and turned down the bed. Padding back to the living room, Jax easily lifted Tara in his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down, popped the clasp on her bra and removed it without removing her top (a skill he perfected in high school). He next unbuttoned then removed her shorts.

Jax took a moment to admire those black barely there underwear she had on, noting that this type of panty was new for Tara. She wore bikinis or briefs. He looked at the bra and saw that it matched. Then Jax fingered the fine lace of Tara's underwear where it rode low on her hip.

He also looked at Tara's belly. _She's not showing yet_ he thought, _but she'd be beautiful either way_. He covered Tara with the sheet, kissed her cheek, bid her goodnight and retired to his rest in the room with his sons.

**A/N: Looks like Jax gets no reward for being a good "it". **

**I am watching SOA again and I am at the episode where Jax sleeps with Ima. What is the music that plays during this scene? "No…no…baby no…" Breaks my damn heart! ****As always, please review and SOA forever!**


	13. Chapter 13

Old Habits - Part II

Everyone was up, dressed, and ready to head out Sunday morning by 8 a.m. They took both Tara's SUV and the van to Friendly's for breakfast, where they also picked up an ice cream cake for later.

When they in the parking lot standing at their vehicles, Tara said to Jax, "I packed a diaper bag with toys, floaties, diapers, drinks, sunscreen, wipes, and towels. Their swim trunks are laid out on the bed in their room. So is yours, Jax, and I expect you to wear it – all of it."

Jax furrowed his brows.

"What? Did you think you'd be at the pool all day in your kutte? No colors, Jax. I mean it," stated Tara.

"Yes, Mommy," Jax said, obediently.

"Same goes for you Opie. You have a swim outfit and a bag packed for the kids as well. The kids' suits are on the bed."

"I love it when you boss me around," said Opie between kisses as he patted Donna's butt. "Oh," Donna said, "I almost forgot the cake. Please put it in the fridge."

After more kisses all around coupled with "have funs" and "be goods", Jax and Opie drove off in the van with the kids and Donna and Tara took the SUV.

"Ok kids, we're off to the pool," shouted Opie.

"Yea! The pool! The pool!" they all cheered, Jax chiming in, too, while pumping his fist in the air. He and Opie chuckled though, as "poo" was about all that Thomas could muster in way of a chant.

Once they were back In the hotel room, Jax put a clean diaper on Thomas along with his infant swim pants which were blue with little alligators. Then he assisted Abel with his pullups and swim trunks. Abel's swim trunks were blue as well with little sharks. Both boys had SPF50 hats that matched their pants.

Jax turned his attention to the outfit Tara laid out for him. The trunks were jammers with a splash of baby blue on one leg and a black fitted sleeveless rash guard with blue splash also. Jax put on the trunks and checked himself in the mirror. The jammers hugged his well-toned thighs, ended about 6 inches above his knees and rode low on his hips, accentuating his abs, waist, and Adonis belt.

Then he picked up the rash guard. Jax could see why Tara demanded he wear the entire outfit – the guard would completely cover his back tats; he decided that that wasn't necessarily a bad thing given the nature of their outing. So he put it on.

Its neckline was comfortable and the garment hugged his chest. It was tapered but loose at its bottom and it completely bared his arms and shoulders showcasing his biceps. The guard also left about an inch of skin between it and the jammers. Jax figured that this must have been in one of the bags Tara brought in yesterday before Opie and Donna arrived.

"You did good, Sweetheart," he murmured, put on the black flip flops that were next to his swimwear and he, Abel, and Thomas, who was placed in his stroller, left the room and knocked on Opie's door.

The door opened and before Jax could say a word Abel shouted excitedly, "C'mon Uncle Opie! Let's go!"

"Alright," he answered. "Let's go kids!"

As they started off, Jax eyed Opie's outfit and said, "I see you have one, too." Opie's was a rich olive drab with gold undertones and a matching rash guard. He too had flip flops, brown ones. "So what do you think?"

"Not bad," Opie said, "In fact, I like it."

"Me too," said Jax.

The friends continued on to the pool. There were quite a few people out who wanted to enjoy the early morning peace, including several sets of 20 something and 30 something females. The two men were garnering blatant attention from the females, single and otherwise, but Jax and Opie were oblivious. They quickly found lounge chairs near the kiddie pool which was by the shallow end of the huge L-shaped pool.

Jax put the hat and shades on Thomas and sat him in the kiddie pool. Jax splashed water on him and watched his boy laugh, squeal, sputter and splash in glee. Opie put sunscreen on the other children and himself and began to play in the shallow end with Abel who was wearing blue floaties.

After a while, Jax lifted Thomas from the kiddie pool, put floaties on him and entered the shallow end, too. While he was in the pool with Thomas, Jax saw a sheriff on a motorcycle ride to the back of the hotel where his bike was parked.

"Hey Ope, watch the kids? I need to check this out," said Jax, motioning his head toward the official.

He hopped out of the pool, put on his flip flops and headed to the back. By the time he got there, the sheriff was parked next to his bike checking it out the Harley carefully.

"Good afternoon, Sheriff. Anything wrong?" Jax asked. When the sheriff turned around and removed his sunglasses, Jax saw it was the officer he had spoken to during Tara's attempted kidnapping.

"Mr. Teller," he said, sternly. "What business does SAMCRO have in Lodi?" He looked at the reaper on the fuel tank then the license plate.

"None, Sheriff. l am here with my wife and my boys. She and my boys are flying out this Wednesday for an extended trip and I am enjoying a little time with them before they leave. Been here on and off since Friday and very few people know that," Jax said.

"Please – if you call in those plates or my name, I don't know what might happen. Please, just give me these few days with my family and my childhood friends. I don't intend to start trouble and I don't want trouble to find me," Jax pled.

The sheriff looked at Jax in his swim attire, the menacing SAMCRO tats were covered and he was wearing flip flops. _Obviously not armed_, he thought. The sheriff looked toward the pool then back at Jax. Then he reached into his trunk and pulled out a locking motorcycle cover, which he handed to Jax.

"Let's cover your bike with this - might attract less interest. Just leave this at the desk for me when you leave."

Working together, the two men had Jax's bike covered in no time. "So this is the dyna you were telling me about, last time. It's a beautiful thing, Mr. Teller." The Sheriff added, "I'll look for that call on Wednesday. Here's my card."

"Thank you, Sheriff. I appreciate this." Jax extended his hand and the sheriff shook it, looking Jax in the eye the whole time. After the sheriff left, Jax returned to the pool where Opie was still in the shallow end with Abel and Thomas.

"Everything Ok?" asked Opie.

"Yes," Jax replied. The sheriff lent me a locking bike cover for use while I'm here. I return it when I leave on Wednesday."

Opie continued to play with Abel and Thomas, while April and Sam swam back and forth. Jax eased himself into the pool, loving the feel of the water on his skin. He put his face in and swam for the deep end completing several laps when Sam swam up to him.

"Come on Uncle Jax, I'll race you!"

Sam took off full speed and Jax waited until he was halfway to the deep end before he started, touching the end just before Sam.

"You almost got me this time," said Jax. "Good thing my arms are longer. Great job buddy!" Jax high fived Sam and the two leisurely swam back toward Opie.

Jax swam over to Opie to relieve him of Thomas and Abel duty. Jax got out of the water, put Abel back in the kiddie pool, then took Thomas from Opie.

A twenty something blonde with an almost invisible bathing suit sacheted over to Jax, first boldly checking out the front of his jammers then eyeing the rest of him with pure unadulterated lust. She handed Jax a towel which he took and began to dry Thomas and himself with it after thanking her.

"Cute kid," she said.

Jax sat down on his lounger and she sat down next to him. Opie saw this unfolding, exited the pool and strode over to Jax.

"That's his wife's chair," said Opie, interrupting the blonde's chatter.

She looked at Jax to let him know that she didn't give a shit about his wife or her chair, but when she saw the look on Opie's face, she got up and walked off without another word.

"What the fuck are you doing, man?" said a clearly pissed off Opie. "Plan on taking her to the changing room for a quickie in front of your kids or what? Or maybe go to her room in the middle of the night?"

"Aw come on, that was nothin'," Jax argued.

"It wasn't nothin," snapped Opie. "You are such a slut. Always have been and you never learn. And its cost you the only woman you've ever loved. You were out here crying last night about being a better man for your family yet here you are today priming pussy. I don't understand you, man. Shit was fun when we were 21. Now? This is BS and you need to grow up, unless you want to be Bobby, Tig, or Chibs. They got 5 ex-wives or baby's mamas among them, not to mention old girlfriends, child support and alimony drama. They get to see their kids once a year if they're lucky."

"Chibs is still married," Jax pointed out.

"Yeah but his wife and daughter live in Ireland and they ain't ever coming here."

Jax hanged his head, pondering all that Opie said.

"I hear you, bro," Jax said finally. "Old habits I guess."

"Yeah, well you're stronger than old habits, Jax. Better. Just ask yourself, if some strange dude rolled up on Tara like that, how would you feel? Tell me, Jackson. What would you do?"

Not hesitating a whit, Jax said, "I'd rip his balls off."

"There you go, then. Any time you get ready to do your little slut thing, ask yourself what you'd do if Tara did it. If you want to rip off balls, don't do it," instructed Opie.

Jax smiled. "You're crazy man."

"I may be," said Opie, quite seriously. "But Donna ain't divorcing me and taking my kids away."

At that, Opie stood to his full 6'4 inches, walked to the deep end diving board and executed a beautiful jack knife into the pool. After several laps, he climbed out over by where Jax was sitting when he was approached by a different 20 something blonde.

"That dive was hot," she said.

"Thanks," Opie said.

"Buy you a drink?" she offered, looking around for a server.

"No thanks," Opie said. "I will buy my own drink. Enjoy your afternoon."

Opie picked up his towel, turned his back to the woman then sat down. Jax watched her walk away.

"That simple, huh?" asked Jax.

"That simple, replied Opie. "Why do you think I stay on my perch in the 'pussy whipped' corner at the club parties? Cause I ain't available and cause I don't go there to play. What do I look like with my dick moves making my old lady have to come to the clubhouse to beat some croweaters ass? I respect her too much for that. The fellas ride me, but I don't care. I know what and who I want – what's important."

Just then Donna and Tara arrived. Jax and Opie stared at their ladies in shock and couldn't take their eyes away. Tara was wearing and black and blue patterned bikini with a short black and blue striped shrug coverup. Donna was wearing a two pieced emerald green suit with boy shorts.

Jax had never seen Tara dressed like this before, the dress yesterday and now this. Dark colors, jeans tank tops and scrubs were her every day wear including nights and weekends. She never even wore any of those sexy nighties and underwear that he saw in magazines that he liked so much. _Maybe you should have bought some for her genius_ he said to himself.

But then Jax thought about Tara in high school. One of the things he'd loved about her was that she was a girly girl. Short dresses, curly hair, sweet perfume, and baby doll pjs with little flowers on them (she was wearing this the first night he'd sneaked into her room and stayed). But she was down for him, riding his bike in skirts and dresses. _Maybe she was returning to her roots _he thought.

Jax stood as Tara walked toward him. _So damn sexy_. Her long dark hair was loose and blowing in the breeze and Tara's long legs were bare. Her breasts, already fulsome, seemed a little fuller probably due to the pregnancy, but her belly was still flat, and her butt filled out that bikini bottom quite nicely. He did not miss that several men around the pool were lasciviously checking her out.

Jax looked over at Opie, who was having a moment of his own while ogling Donna.

"What's going on man?" Jax asked.

"I don't know, Prez, but I like it, I like it a lot, Opie responded.

Jax smiled broadly and opened his arms. Tara walked right in, hugging him warmly. Jax trailed one hand down Tara's hip as he pulled her in for another squeeze and ultimately a kiss.

The moment was broken, however, when Abel shouted, "Mommy, Daddy look – I'm swimming!"

Tara pulled out of Jax's arms to play with Abel in the kiddie pool, while Donna dove into the main pool for a few laps with April and Sam.

Just then Opie asks, "Hey – can you and Tara watch my kids tonight?"

"Sure," Jax responded.

Opie continued. "I want to take my old lady out for dinner and a movie maybe."

Jax nodded. "Sure – they can spend the night with us. Can you and Donna return the favor on Tuesday?"

"No problem," said Opie. "Dinner and a movie?"

"Not sure yet," Jax said. "But I'll let you know once I figure it out."

**A/N: So…what do you think? What about the boys' swim outfits? What do you think is up with Donna and Tara? This chapter completes all I have written so you guys will need to wait again for more. Reviews are welcome! SOA forever!**


	14. Chapter 14

Fish Do It in the Water or Old Habits III?

Everyone was enjoying their time at the pool. Opie and Donna swam with the kids. Jax and Tara swam with the kids. Jax and Opie swam, Donna and Tara swam. The kids were in and out of the pool, the kiddie pool or both.

Then, Opie and Donna gave Abel, April, Sam, and Thomas snacks and drinks while Jax and Tara swam. The two seemed so happy, like the Jax and Tara of old. Donna motioned for Opie to look at their friends, smiling and having fun. She then took Opie's phone and snapped several pictures of them.

"For Thomas and Abel," she said, smiling, but after a few moments her smile faded. "Sad, isn't it?" she eventually asked Opie.

"It is…" Opie responded, feeling for his childhood friends.

Tara was out of the pool first and she scooped up Thomas to take him in for a nap. Abel pleaded to stay and Donna agreed to bring him in with them. Jax stayed in the pool a bit longer but left shortly after Tara to go inside as well.

Jax chased after Tara and Thomas and caught up with them just before they entered the hotel. His skin was still flushed from his encounter with her.

"Tara?" he said.

She turned her face away from Jax. She absolutely did not want to be close to him again right now. She did not want to relive the Ima/Collette situation and physical intimacy with him absolutely sent her there. She was at a 10 on the arousal scale while in the pool with Jax and she was still on at least an 8 and she was a good 10 minutes after. She could still feel Jax's erection from when they stood in the water and she could still see the longing in his eyes as he silently begged for her touch.

_In the Pool Moments Before_

_They had started out just doing laps. Jax began teasing her in the water, swimming near her, splashing her then swimming away. She had attempted a water chase but he was the stronger swimmer. After a while, Jax swam to her while she was in the center of the pool and he put his arms around her. He spun them round and round as if they were in a vortex; Tara had put her arms around Jax's neck, her head thrown back in playful joy. They were both laughing like kids without a care in the world._

_Jax led them over to the wall at the deepest end of the pool. There was no one in the immediate area as most of the people had adjourned to the bar for drinks or left for other pursuits. Opie and Donna were in lounge chairs, Thomas was in his stroller dozing, and Abel was sitting with April and Sam near his aunt and uncle at the shallow end._

_Tara pushed off Jax's chest, swam away from him, then swam back to him, crashing against his body to stop herself. _

"_Ooof!" he said with a grin._

"_Want some company?" she asked. _

"_Is the company you? Then yes, always," he answered. _

_Tara turned around – her back to Jax's chest, her butt pressed against his crotch. She leaned back into him; she allowed her legs to float freely at first. Jax encircled her waist with one arm, holding her upper torso against him, while he used the other to tether them both to the wall. Tara could feel Jax's pec muscles flexing as he held them at the wall/ She pressed her butt against Jax while she held onto his thighs. She then forced her body into a vertical position flush against him, pressing her butt against him harder. Jax opened his legs and she found herself nestled comfortably in between them. Tara could feel his manhood gradually coming to life. She relaxed and allowed the movement of the water from their treading motion to sensually move her body across Jax and he became harder and harder. The harder he became, the more she rubbed her butt against him._

"_Tara," Jax murmured._

_She continued to masturbate him with her body and she hadn't cared that they were in public no less! Only Jax could take her back to their daring high school days, but those days had nothing on this._

"_Tara," Jax groaned, louder. "I am going to come. You're going to make me come." _

_She desperately wanted to tell Jax to put his hand in her bikini bottoms but she was afraid to risk it because she knew that he would. So they continued with their pseudo congress with Jax standing still and allowing what she hoped was a building and exquisite torture. It certainly was for her._

"_I would love to pull down your trunks and suck your dick under water until you explode in my mouth," she blurted, "and I will swallow every single drop down my throat then lick you clean." At that, Jax lost it, coming profusely and moaning deeply in Tara's ear. She could feel the spurt of warmth on her butt cheek._

"_Dammn, baby, damn, oh damn, what you do to me…" and she was set on fire by the sound of his voice, his lips at her ear, and the twitch of his cock._

_Tara remembered turning in his arms, kissing him gently, drowning in the look of longing in his eyes, then swimming away, exiting the pool and rushing to get back to the hotel. _

_Jax chased after her and Thomas and caught up with them just before they entered the hotel. His skin was still flushed from his encounter with her._

Tara's reverie ended when they entered the hotel room. She bathed Thomas, dressed him and put him down after he had a little milk.

Jax had showered and was rummaging through his drawer for something to wear and discovered sweat shorts – a gray pair, blue pair and a black pair, along with a pack of sleeveless undershirts. He opted for gray shorts (commando) and a white sleeveless tee. He entered the kids' room and saw Tara standing at the porta crib staring at Thomas lovingly.

"He's a beautiful boy," Jax said. "Thank you for him and for all you do for all of us." He made to take her hand but she pulled away.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," she said.

Jax stood aside and Tara walked over to her bedroom. When he heard the water running, he headed to the living room, picked up the "Welcome to Lodi" book, made notes, and placed a few calls. He noticed when the shower went off and he was anxious to talk to Tara about her day and their encounter.

About 15 minutes passed and she hadn't left the bedroom. A worried Jax walked into the bedroom and saw Tara wrapped in a bath towel sitting on the floor, his black reaper tee bunched in her hands and held up to her nose.

"Babe – you ok?" he asked, concern written all over his face. He went to her, knelt on one knee, and touched her cheek.

"I'm fine," she sniffed, shrinking from his touch. She refolded his shirt and placed it back in the drawer.

"I'll be out in a minute," she said. Jax stood and held out his hand to help her up, but she ignored it and stood on her own.

Jax left the room and Tara put on a pair of black sweat shorts and a black sleeveless tee shirt. She walked to the living room.

Jax approved of her clean look and her fresh just bathed scent. He wondered if she was wearing panties and was saddened that he had no right to assuage his curiosity by investigating.

Tara sat in the chair across from Jax, picked up a magazine and started thumbing through. But no sooner than Tara sat, Jax stood, leaned over, took Tara's hand and pulled her onto the couch next to him. He smiled at her but freed her hand.

Tara still couldn't look at him…she didn't want to remember "them", she didn't want to want him, and she was angry at herself for doing so. She should never want to touch him again after what he did – what she saw him do. She pursed her lips. She could tell he wanted something…but she didn't want to care that he did.

"So what did you and Donna do today?" Jax asked.

"Nothing special. We got mani-pedis," and she wiggled her bright red toes and fingers, "Then got facials, massages, did some shopping, and had lunch just before we came back."

"Very, very, nice," Jax replied sexily. "I had noticed a glow when you first arrived at the pool. You look amazing. Maybe I should get a mani-pedi, a facial and a massage too," he laughed. Tara rolled her eyes and did not laugh.

"Listen Jax, I took $25,000 from the safe deposit box the day I left. I will return the money to you as soon as I get my 401K distribution," she said, injecting a more serious tone into the conversation.

"I don't want the money back, Tara," Jax stated, his voice still dripping with sex.

"But it's really your money Jax - wasn't mine to take. Our signed agreement is that I want no money from you. Besides," she said, "its blood money." Tara looked away.

"If its my blood money, then you clean it by using it to care for our boys. You'll need things for them in your new place. Please.,,Tara opted not to address his comment. Instead she asked, "How did you and Opie make out with the kids?"

"Fine. We played with Thomas and Abel in the shallow end and put them in the kiddie pool on their own for a bit. Then Opie and I got in some laps. Opie's kids swim like fish," Jax remarked.

"Yes," replied Tara. "Donna put them in swimming lessons at the Charming Y when they weren't much older than Abel."

"I never knew that," said Jax.

"Neither did Opie for a while. Donna does what she can to give the kids a normal life and prepare them to live out their futures in the rest of the world - you know, the world where it's not perpetually 1955."

Jax got the reference but changed the subject.

"Opie asked if we could watch the kids tonight. I told him yes and that we'd keep them overnight. OK?"

"Yes, of course. They have plans? Good for them," Tara said. "Give them my car keys. What are they doing?"

Jax shrugged and watched Tara as she studied the floor, the drapes, the door, the windows…

"Tara," Jax said.

No response.

"Tara. Talk to me. You haven't looked at me since we left the pool," Jax said.

"Tara…"

She sighed deeply. Shook her head no.

Jax took a deep breath and took Tara's hand again, kissing the back of it before turning it over and pressing another kiss to her palm. He then rested her hand against his heart.

She faced him, finally. "I am still angry at you and hurt by what you did – what I saw you do and I can't get the image of it out of my head. I can't. But I am still mostly mad at myself for wanting you in spite of it. You have sent me on this masochistic dance to a record that never ends…"

Hot tears ran down her cheeks and Jax swept her into his arms as she cried.

"Why Jax? Was she better than me?"

"No one's better than you…than us…"

"Then why?"

Jax shook his head. _Nero asked me the same question _he thought.

"Sweetheart, whatever the reason, please believe me when I say that I am really and truly sorry. I hate that I hurt you like that, that you keep reliving the hell I put you in especially while you're carrying my baby. This pain you feel can't be good for you or him. If I could take away the pain, I would. But know that in the time we have left here, I will do everything I can to lessen that burden for you. If you'll let me."

Tara looked into Jax's eyes, rose from the couch, walked to the bedroom, and closed the door.

**A/N: Oh my… **

**Please review cause I love to get them. SOA forever, people? Send it back!**


	15. Chapter 15

Why?

After Tara left the room, Jax covered his face with his hands and leaned his head back on the couch. Why? Why did he do it? Because he could – women were easy for him. Tara was the only woman that he'd ever had to chase in his entire life. She had sent him on a merry one, but she was wort it. Did he want other women? No, he didn't. Tara pushed all his buttons. Were they better than her? Fuck no! That one was laughable. He and Tara would regularly do things to each other and for so long that would have made porn stars and whores flame out.

Jax exhaled loudly. He thought about the by-laws, stood and retrieved them from the desk drawer. He started reading, his brows knitted in intensity.

An hour later, several things became crystal clear in his mind:

1\. The club as envisioned by its founders had a strong commitment to God, family, and community in that order. Teller Morrow Automotive (just Teller Automotive at its beginning) was to be the linchpin of a series of business enterprises. Guns were not on the landscape.

2\. A Code of Conduct held members to a high standard of behavior. Women and children were to be respected, protected, and cherished. The Club was to be a village to collectively raise children with proper values, among them, respect, honesty, and hard work.

3\. Cheating, adultery, spousal battery and child abuse were prohibited. Injured spouses could bring cases of infractions to the Council for handling.

4\. Cheating, adultery, and related sexual behavior on club premises was prohibited in order to maintain an atmosphere appropriate for women and children.

5\. Sexual relations with club members spouses or old ladies was strictly prohibited.

6\. Sexual behavior between non-committed couples was prohibited on club premises.

As for the so called Prison Clause? The clause existed for incarcerations lasting 1 year or more. It could not be invoked until at least one year was served in the case of longer sentences and it applied equally to men and women. Most importantly, both partners had to agree in order for the clause to be applied. This clause was not originally included in the by-laws but was added as the MC traveled deeper into criminal behavior and incarcerations increased.

Jax grew pensive. He thought about the clubhouse now, how the goings on in there would put Rome under Caligula to shame. How Bobby would have been severely sanctioned for taking up with LuAnn, and how he himself would have been severely sanctioned for sleeping with Collette the first time, when Tara was jailed for only 30 days. How this pattern of conduct bled over to Teller Morrow so that a half naked crow eater or porn star could be seen hanging out at the business at any time or brawling in the parking lot over a member who might or might not be married to someone else. Jax shook his head when he thought about Tara's confrontations with Ima at the clubhouse and the business.

He thought about how no one but Opie ever questioned his behavior toward Tara in spite of all she'd done for them. They didn't even really stand up for Gemma when Clay had almost beaten her to death. About how the Club encouraged and supported debauchery at its highest level. How it maintained a warped sense of loyalty to club members. He thought about his dad's book – about how the Club evolved into what it was – an out of control frat house full of devious criminals. _Jesus Christ_ he thought.

Jax thought about the letters. He could see in them how his dad saw that his own fall from grace contributed to the demise of the SOA ideal. JT was over in Ireland 8 months at a time for a period of a few years according to Gemma, sleeping with a 15 year old Maureen Ashby that he'd ultimately impregnated. The more he was absent, the greater control and power Clay gained and Gemma helped Clay gain it.

_JT - his dad. Runs to outside pussy when he's pressured at home._ _Sounds familiar Jax thought._ JT kept it away from Gemma for 22 years though, probably because he knew she'd have cut his balls off. She still would if he wasn't already dead. _But clearly, secrets never stay secrets…_

Gemma said it, though, that he was just like his dad. Hell, he was 3 minutes away from what could have been a generational repeat – a California SAMCRO with an outside baby in Ireland. Gemma, Maureen and his SAMCRO brothers all saw Jax and Trinity flirting and no one said a word. Jax had even believed at the time that Maureen approved of the dalliance. But Maureen and Gemma finally stopped them. As for Gemma? She was SAMCRO through and through. A pregnant Tara be damned and she had loved Tara at that time.

So he had started with Trinity as soon as Maureen's door opened, sizing Trinity up by asking her age. _Priming the pussy, as Opie called it. _Finding out the truth that Trinity was his sister was the only thing that stopped that train wreck from happening.

Why? Cause that's just how he acted - like the slut Opie said he was. Trinity was a slut, too, knowing that he was there to get his 8 month old son. She had to know he was involved with a woman - he damn sure didn't birth the baby himself. But she didn't care. Just like the chick at the pool didn't care. Just like Collette didn't care. Just like Ima didn't care. Just like he didn't care. He sure didn't act like it. Collette said as much. But was it their job to care? No, it was his job not only to care, but also to show he cared. He needed to take this job as seriously as he took his job in SAMCRO. Why? Because he did care! He absolutely did care!

Yup, but instead, he had played in the no caring slut cesspool – that way, there was no having to explain using and discarding women, or even ascribing any humanity to them at all. So the onus of his betrayals hanged on his blameless wife, if and when his behavior hit the light of day. None of these realizations was cute – in fact, they were disgusting and pathetic. And he was the weak link in all of it, and the culture of the club supported him in his every duplicitous act and not his innocent wife. Tara was absolutely right about how the club treated women and he was included.

Jax closed his eyes tightly and pinched his nose. He stood, took a deep breath then went to Tara's bedroom. He knocked softly then opened the door. Tara was sitting up reading.

"Can I come in?" Jax asked.

She nodded.

Jax walked slowly over to the bed, sat down on it, took the book from her hands and closed it. He looked into Tara's eyes and paused.

"Some chick came on to me at the pool today and I allowed it instead of shutting her down. Opie said that I'm a slut and that I need to grow up. Recognize what's important and stick with it. That's the best explanation as to why– any other reason for what I did is just a poor excuse.

"When the pressure builds, instead of coming to you, I go to play in the slut cesspool for some quick relief and a mindless faceless fuck. But mostly I am afraid to come to you, afraid that the crisis whatever it is, is the one that sends you running away from me. Afraid to allow you to see me weak, indecisive and afraid. Afraid that I'll be diminished in your eyes.

"I know I can get away with the betrayals, because the club will support me and not you, the innocent in everything. When I found out you were planning to leave, I went ballistic. But when you found me with Collette and disappeared? I knew I had gone too far. I felt like the soul had been ripped from my body. I now understand everything you'd ever said about the club being poison. and about how it treats women, and how I treat women. I also understand everything you did."

Jax sighed. "I almost slept with the woman who turned out to be my sister in Ireland. I would have except Gemma and Maureen told us both the truth just in time to stop us. You were right also that that wasn't the first time I slept with Collette. It happened first just before your release when Lowen told me that you didn't want me to come to get you from the lockup.

"I am ashamed Tara, ashamed of who and what I was and what I've done. I thought that the threat to you and me and our family right now is over because of the peace, but I now realize that the biggest threat to us is and has been me all along and the culture of the club. That's it - that's everything. I just pray that it's not too late.

"I am glad you are taking the boys and starting a new life, a better life for them. Getting them on the right path."

Tara spoke. "I'm not surprised that Ireland almost happened. Circumstances at the time created your perfect storm trigger. I remember also when I was released. You told me that you felt far away from me and begged me to let you back in. You begged me to tell you how to get back in. You begged me to tell you that I loved you. I denied you all those things and for that I am sorry too. But you should have kept trying to work it out with me rather than turning to someone else."

"I know babe," Jax said, softly.

Tara allowed Jax to take her hand. He kissed it and smiled at her. Jax reached out with his other hand and smoothed her hair. Still looking deeply into her eyes, Jax took another deep cleansing breath.

"Tara Grace," he said, his voice sending shivers through her.

"Will you go out with me on Tuesday?"

Jax's heart rate increased as he anxiously awaited Tara's response.

After what seemed like an eternity, she softly answered, "Yes."

"Yes?" he repeated.

"Yes," Tara said, louder this time.

"Thank you," Jax said, grateful to Tara for giving him time in spite of all he'd done. "Thank you..."

He embraced Tara, warmly, and began stroking her hair anew. "I really do love you, Tara," Jax whispered. "You know that, don't you?"

Tara was stiff at first but he felt her gradually relax in his arms. He pushed the hair away from the crook of her neck and buried his face there, planting a series of gentle kisses.

Tara could feel herself being drawn into Jax again, his scent, his strength, his touch. She slowly pulled away from him but she was captured by the look of longing in his eyes. She leaned into him and kissed his lips. She quickly pulled back again as if shocked by the feel of him (which she was), but she leaned in for more after mere seconds of separation.

Tara tangled her hand in Jax's hair, and they kissed long and deep, tongues darting back and forth into each other's mouths, the rhythm familiar and satisfying. Jax lifted her into his lap as he traced the outline of her mouth with his tongue, before demanding entry to taste its sweetness again.

Jax fisted Tara's hair and squeezed it at the roots just enough to cause her a delicious sting. When she gasped at the slight pain, Jax kissed her harder, his wet tongue plumbing the depths of her mouth. She groaned, clutching and releasing Jax's shirt, wanting him closer. Jax's hand travelled under the back of Tara's shirt and he caressed her bare skin sensually, applying first rough pressure, then release. Jax traced circles on her flesh moving across her sides, her belly, then up to her breasts. Delighted that she was braless, he cupped and kneaded the tender flesh, then rolled her nipple between his fingers.

"I do love you Jax, and I know that you love me too. If you didn't you wouldn't be here right now," said Tara.

By this time, she was on her side, facing Jax, her head and torso on his chest. Her toes were curling and uncurling at the feelings Jax was eliciting not only from her body but also from her heart. They stared into each other's eyes, each knowing what they wanted but uncertain about how to proceed.

Thomas relieved them of the heat of their quandary by letting out a loud and insistent wail.

"My boy," Jax said, laughing.

"I'll get him," said Tara, laughing as well.

When she stood to walk away, Jax grabbed her forearm. "I love to hear that laugh again. Tuesday at 12:30, OK?"

"OK," she replied.

Tara picked Thomas up then changed his diaper. She brought him into the living room to be fed. By that time Jax was standing in the living room.

"Let me," said Jax. He took his son into his arms, sat down and began feeding and rocking him. Tara went to her bedroom, picked up her book, returned to the living room, then sat in the chair, her feet tucked under her.

When Thomas was finished eating, Jax burped him, cleaned him up, put a blanket on the floor along with Thomas's Incrediblock toy and they started to play.

About 5-ish, Opie, Donna, April, Sam, and Abel returned from the pool. They knocked on the door and Tara answered.

"Hi everyone," said Tara. "Did you guys all have fun today?"

There were cries of yes all around.

"Donna, why don't you Just leave April and Sam here now to have dinner with us, but bring over their pjs," Tara suggested. "They can bathe and change, here, too. We are having spaghetti," she said, in a sing song voice.

"Yea!" shouted Sam. "Yea," shouted April. "Yea!" shouted Abel. "Yea," squealed Thomas, waving his arms.

"That'd be great," said Donna as she was looking over at Opie. "Thank you."

Then she and Opie left, hand in hand.

"Do you guys want to help cook dinner?" Tara asked the children.

Little voices said, "Yes!"

"OK. Baths first. Jax, will you give Opie and Donna my car keys and get those pjs and toothbrushes? I think you'd better do it soon," Tara said, smiling and winking. "Also, please remind them to be here by 8:30 am tomorrow morning. There's the Monday's schedule on the counter. Please give them that, too."

Tara turned to April and Sam.

"Anything you need from your room guys? You're spending the night here."

"My Harry Potter book," said April.

"My Parcheesi board," said Sam.

"Done," said Jax. He rose, kissed Tara briefly and walked out of the room. Tara replaced him on the blanket with Thomas.

Jax ran across the hall and tapped on the door. When Opie answered, Jax relayed Tara's message and gave him the Monday schedule: the Children's Science Museum at 10 in the morning, lunch there, then a boat tour and hike along Lodi Lake in the afternoon. Tara noted that Jax and Ope had business to attend to in the early afternoon and probably wouldn't make the boat tour but would meet her and Donna at the Lake after.

After Opie read the note he went into the bedroom to talk to Donna.

When he returned Opie asked, "Everything OK this afternoon with you and Tara?"

"Yeah, man, it was. I'm hopeful for the first time in a long time, Ope. She's still going away and I know that, but I think we may have turned a corner. I know I have. Oh, and Tara's agreed to go out with me on Tuesday, too. I have reservations on a wine tasting tour of Lodi then dinner at a nice restaurant, dancing later. It's a surprise."

"Wine tasting tour, huh," Opie repeated. "Wow, could Donna and I get in on that?"

"Let me see what I can do…there is a way," said Jax, the wheels turning.

Just then Donna brought out pjs, toothbrushes and a small pile of clean clothing. "They may as well wash up and dress over there in the morning," she said. "We can all leave from your place. Here, take my room key, too, in case you need to get in here for something tonight while we're gone."

"Sounds good."

Then Donna asked, "You guys figure out what you want to do for dinner tomorrow, yet? Because they have outdoor grills and eating areas here. Opie, why don't you and Jax grill us some steaks, and hot dogs and burgers for the kids? Will you two have time to pick up the food while you are out? We can roast some veggies too."

Opie and Jax looked at each other and nodded. "Yeah, we can do that," said Jax.

"So what are you guys up to this evening?" Jax asked.

Donna blushed and Opie responded, "You are too young to hear what I have in store her."

"Well have fun and we'll see you in the morning," said Jax.

Jax left them and returned to his own room.

"I'm back babe. Pjs, book, Parcheesi, toothbrushes, clothing for tomorrow." He laid each item down as he called it off. "Donna wants to do outdoor grilling for dinner here tomorrow. Opie and I will pick up steaks, hotdogs, and burgers while we're out." Tara nodded in agreement.

"I'll go bathe Sam and Abel in the kids room," Jax offered. He picked up Sam's pajamas, took Abel's hand and off they went.

"April, are you OK alone? You can bathe in our room." Tara said, handing April her pjs and toothbrush.

"I'm fine, Aunt Tara," April responded.

"Don't be long," Tara said. "I am waiting on all of you before I start dinner.".

Tara was on the blanket playing with Thomas and baths were completed in record time. Jax took over Tara's spot with Thomas, giving Tara a kiss just as she stood.

"Alright then, to the kitchen everyone!" Tara said.

Opie's kids rushed to the kitchen but Abel hanged back.

"What's wrong, Abel?"

"Daddy doesn't cook. Only girls cook."

Tara looked over at Jax to be certain that he heard his oldest son. He had.

"It's not good that your dad doesn't cook, Abel. Everyone who eats needs to know how to cook. Why do you think that might be a good idea?"

Abel thought for a moment. "'Cause you might get hungry sometime and there is no one to cook for you."

"Very good Abel. Now into the kitchen with you."

"You heard your mother," Jax said. "Besides, when you learn to make spaghetti, you can teach me. Will you do that?"

"I will teach you to make spaghetti, daddy."

"Good and I am eager to learn," said Jax, who remained on the floor engaged with Thomas.

Tara said, "OK, the first thing you do when preparing a meal is to wash your hands," a step she demonstrated.

"The second step to preparing a meal is gathering all the ingredients, pans, and cutlery that you need…and the last thing we'll do is set the table…does everyone have their assignments?"

"Yes," Aunt Tara.

"Yes, Mommy."

"Then we'll begin. Abel, you're first..."

And the dinner was delicious! Everyone had seconds. Jax, Sam, and Abel cleared the table and washed dishes. By 7 the children were settled at the dinette. April and Sam were teaching Abel and Jax the game of Parcheesi. Abel totally enjoyed rolling the dice, counting the dots on the dice, and moving his men that number of spaces on the board. He was even the second to finish the game, beating his dad. By 7:30, Tara had tucked Thomas in. At 8, it was movie time. They decided on the movie Sing.

Jax popped and plated two bags of popcorn. He and Tara were snuggled up tight on the couch, Jax's legs outstretched on the coffee table. April, Sam and Abel were on the blanket on the floor with a large bowl of popcorn to share. Jax and Tara had their own bowl.

As the movie started, Jax sighed contentedly, kissed and hugged Tara before snagging a handful of popcorn.

"I could get used to this…." he thought, smiling broadly.

**A/N: Looks like Jax had an epiphany. What do you think? I bet you are wondering if he and Tara slept together this Sunday night, aren't you? (Wicked grin.)**

**This is a long chapter and was difficult to write. After editing, re-editing, re-re-editing, re-re-re...you get the point, I decided to just let it go. I hope it doesn't disappoint. Please review and let me know. SOA forever!**


	16. Chapter 16

Monday Morning 7: 45 a.m.

A freshly showered Tara was in the kitchenette in her robe and underwear, handing cereal bowls to Sam to set on the table. Thomas was already fed and sitting in his courtesy high chair. Abel and April were still asleep and Tara decided to let them rest since the museum didn't open until 9:30 a.m. Jax was in the shower.

When she heard the water turn off, she cracked two eggs in the fry pan with a little butter, put 2 slices of wheat toast in the broiler and made a fresh cup of coffee – all for him. She was feeling queasy this morning, but she knew it wasn't because of the pregnancy. She and Jax were going to see an attorney regarding the documents Jax signed his first night in Lodi. It wouldn't be long now. She just had to keep busy and in another two days she and the boys would be free. At least the boys would, anyway. Their family had come this close to a new life several times before and something always _always_ kept them locked in Charming and she was on edge about that, too.

These few days with Jax and the boys were magical, the time they spent together was a balm to her aching heart and wounded soul. The boys adored their father. These past days he was loving and attentive to them and her at every turn. He instructed them and supported her in her many daily mommy duties. He immediately noticed and responded to the change in her usual style of dress. He was present and his phone was not ringing all day and night causing him to dash off to handle some business or other. He also seemed much calmer and untroubled than he had been for many months.

Their nights together held such promise. After the children were asleep they would sit together and talk. He was always affectionate toward her, remaining unconcerned about PDA. There was lots of hugging (he was a great hugger), kissing (he was a great kisser), and cuddling (he was a great cuddler too.) He told her often that he loved her, and his boys, but honored her wishes that he make no promises to her and that he not expect sex. Though they had taken to sleeping in the same king-sized bed, he was the perfect gentleman, except for that morning wood thing over which he had no control.

Most importantly, last night Jax had had an epiphany about his behavior with women. He was honest and open (brutally so) about sleeping with Collette and also about nearly sleeping with a woman in Ireland. _Ireland – during which time she was in fear for her and her babies' lives…Jax's and Abel's too, as he left the country and entered Ireland illegally to find Abel._ She was calmer about his new admissions and revelations than she thought she would be. Though it still hurt to hear, on some level she realized that his dick and what he did with or had done with it was no longer her problem.

She nonetheless appreciated his honesty and his struggling with himself to find the root cause, a step that she knew was necessary for the sake of Jax's personal growth. After all, she really did love Jax and she believed he loved her as well. She assured him that she forgave him but made it clear that she didn't forget and even worse, she still didn't trust him. With all the violence and cheating and broken promises? There was no way that she could trust him or even think about returning to Charming without experiencing a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was too fragile for that right now; fear that consumed her through the many months of violence and the constant reprisals for violence, the cheating, the attempts they both made to leave Charming, had all taken their toll on her. She needed all of her strength for her children – she had none to spare for Jax. On this she was clear and unapologetic.

This was the shit part of it all – he did what he does and she and the children pay the price. She warned him, damn him, that it wasn't just her to consider anymore…

Just then Jax emerged from the bedroom in his usual attire minus the kutte. Tara managed a small smile and said good morning. He immediately came over, gave her a kiss and wished her good morning as well. Jax then walked over to Thomas, kissed him and said good morning to both he and Sam. Sam was enjoying his cereal by this time, and Thomas was making a mess with half of a peeled banana.

"Sit," Tara said. "I made you some coffee, toast and eggs, but I need to hurry and get dressed."

"No time for you to join me?" asked Jax.

"No. I want to be ready to leave when Opie and Donna get here at 8:15. Besides, I had a few crackers and some weak tea earlier. I'm feeling a little nauseous this morning."

"Are you OK?" Jax asked. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Nothing for you to do and no need for you to worry."

Tara walked over to him and leaned in for a kiss. Jax wrapped an arm around her waist and rubbed her belly tenderly.

"Hey there, son. Do your old man a favor and give your mom a break today, OK?" He planted a kiss right about where her navel was.

"OK then, Sweetheart. You go on – I can serve myself and get these monsters going with the rest of their breakfasts," Jax said.

Opie and Donna knocked and walked in exactly at 8:15. Tara was dressed and set to leave and Jax was holding the accordion folder with all of their documents. After an update on the children's status, they all quickly reviewed the day's schedule and Tara and Jax left the hotel.

"I haven't told you yet how great you look in that outfit. Those are yoga pants, right?" Jax asked as they left the building.

"Yes, they are. They are quite comfortable. You know, they make them for men, too," she replied.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Jax responded. Tara chuckled and decided to get Jax a cropped pair. He'd look amazing.

Jax helped Tara into the SUV and they drove off. Fifteen minutes later they were at the lawyer's office. The Lodi lawyer was recommended by Tara's law firm in Charming. They were led to the office of her attorney who was a founding partner, Mr. Williamson, a distinguished looking older gentleman. After introducing herself and Jax to him, she explained that she wanted him to look over the custody agreement, divorce filing, etc, make sure all the signatures were in place and then to file the documents with the courts immediately. She also wanted a document that would give Jax access to the safe deposit box. Finally, she wanted to sign her car over to Jax. She wanted him to sell it and give the money to her lawyer in Charming. She requested 5 notarized copies of everything: one to remain in Lodi, one to go to Charming, one for Jax and 2 for herself.

"You didn't tell me about the car," said Jax.

"Problem?" Tara asked.

"No. I'll take care of it," Jax stated.

While Jax and Tara carried on this exchange, Mr. Williamson was busy perusing the documents. He noticed that the custody agreement needed an additional signature and he pointed out where. Jax signed immediately, after producing his driver's license for identification. Williamson also suggested that his firm prepare a document that named and listed a date for every document Jax signed, stated that he signed them of his free will, and would abide by the terms laid out. He explained that it was probably overkill but wouldn't hurt to have.

"Of course I'll sign," Jax stated. Seeing that Tara's eyes were glistening with unshed tears, he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Williamson then brought in his assistant who witnessed and notarized all the paperwork. "I will have these filed today," he said.

"So what happens now?" asked Tara.

"We wait. Unless you withdraw the court petition or one of you…dies, the divorce will become final in 6 months from today's date," he said. "Do you have any further questions?"

They both said no.

Williamson looked at Jax and Tara. He'd been trying to figure out their story since they arrived. He had been doing this work for 30 years and had become quite good at sizing people up, but he was drawing a blank on these two. The one thing he did know without fail was that they loved each other deeply.

Tara's business was concluded in about 30 minutes, at which time Mr. Willliamson put the copies Tara requested into separate folders – one for Jax and one for her.

But before they left Jax had several questions of his own on "other matters", he said, asking permission from Mr. Williamson to proceed. Jax had considered requesting an appointment for after Tara left on Wednesday to do this but decided that he wanted her to hear.

"Please proceed," Mr. Teller.

"Jackson, sir," he said.

"Jackson. I'm Harry. Go on."

Jax took it as a good sign that this lawyer shared the first name with his very best friend in the world, Opie.

"What areas of law do you practice?"

"Civil, including business, wills and estates, taxes and real estate."

"No criminal law?"

"No."

"What about the Charming firm that recommended you? Do they do criminal law?"

"No."

Jax nodded in approval. "I have several matters that I need investigated and handled. Let me explain. My father died in 1993 and I found a document that suggests he left certain property to me. I didn't get it. If I can substantiate that certain assets were left to me, I want to fully understand my options regarding recourse.

"Second, I want ownership established for an ongoing business concern in which my dad was originally a partner, or at least, I think he was. But I believe ownership may have changed. I want to know who founded it and if ownership changed. I want to know when, how, and to whom – everything related to ownership transactions from official records that I want copies of.

"Third, I want to see the books. I'm thinking it needs to go back to when the business started, but if there were ownership changes, the dates of those changes might be the best starting point.

"Fourth, I want to know if there is anything else I should be looking for or at."

"I see," said Mr. Williamson. "Well the records regarding ownership is quick search of property records which is tied to the property address. Most counties have this online and you can search it yourself on the computer and print out what you want. Might save you a couple of dollars. Search on San Joaquin County then government property records and the website should come up.

"Getting the records on the financial operations of a business is a little more complicated. There is public information that identifies officers, owners, assets, etc., so we might be able to determine general information, but specific details? No. If this is a privately owned business, even the public information might be sparse. It is not possible to sue for access unless we can prove that you have a vested interest in finding out this level of detail. May I assume that these issues are related?" asked Mr. Williamson.

"Yes."

"If there were a will and you were left a share in the asset, you can sue for details and can have your own CPA do a forensic audit. We have an attorney on staff here who is a CPA and an attorney who is highly qualified to handle this if it gets to this point but first things first.

"We need to determine if your Dad left a will and its contents. Also, we need to search estate law to determine estate distribution in the absence of a will, too, in 1993. Since you do not have a copy, I need anything that you do have that suggests that there was one. The presence of or absence of a will is what will guide the strategy going forward."

"What do you need in the way of a retainer to get this all going? I will look into the property records. If I find that there were ownership changes, we can discuss what if anything should come next as a result of those changes," Jax said.

"I require a $5000 retainer. What I will start on is a public records search to try to determine if your dad left a will. I will need to pull a death certificate, so you should give me your dad's information," Williamson replied. "I'll check estate law as well."

"I have a line on the possibility of a will through some legal work that was done on other matters. I will start there to see if they have any knowledge. Have you heard of Attorney Roger Mills? He did the work," Jax asked.

"Yes, of Mills, Matthews and Lane, here in Lodi."

Jax sat up straighter in his chair at this bit of news. Williamson continued. "Roger retired a few years ago, but the firm should still have records."

"Tell me, Harry. What happens when a will is prepared? What triggers its execution?" asked Jax.

"Wills identify an executor who is responsible for making sure that the provisions are carried out. It lists assets and lays out how they are to be distributed. When death occurs, the executor takes the will and a death certificate to the probate office and files the will. The courts oversee the distributions."

"You went through this when your dad died?" Jax asked Tara.

"Yes," she replied. "He left a will that I had a copy of. When he passed, I did exactly what Harry is explaining."

"I can see why you came back. To handle everything," Jax said to her.

"Partially, but it's not why I stayed." They stared at each other, hard.

Harry watched the two of them closely. He could feel the passion they had for each other and was drawn in by the fact that Jax was baring all this in front of her – a woman from whom he'd be divorced in 6 months. He was more accustomed to having a spouse come in to hide assets, not discover new ones that might have to be shared.

He wondered what happened to their marriage. He looked at Tara. She appeared to be refined, educated, beautiful. Then he looked at Jax, a bad boy with rugged good looks and an air of confidence and strength, bordering on braggadocio. _I see the problem…he thought. Outside women_, but he also thought that their problems probably didn't start or end there—their love seemed too deep…

Harry broke what seemed like a lengthy silence with a question. "How old were you when your dad died, Jackson?"

"Sixteen," Jax said.

"A minor. That could be a wrinkle but we'll see. I don't want to get too deeply into this aspect yet until we know what we're dealing with."

Jax retrieved five short stacks of ten $100 bills from his pockets and laid them on the desk. Harry eyed the cash suspiciously.

Jax then decided to rip off the proverbial band-aid so to speak. "There's something else I should tell you. These are letters my father wrote to his lover in Belfast with whom he had a child." Jax reached into the folder and removed the packet. "In them, he suggests that my mother and her lover made attempts on his life. He died at 43 in a suspicious motorcycle accident."

"We don't handle criminal matters. Mr. Teller, and I'm afraid…"

"Please hear me out. I am not interested in pursuing my father's death as a criminal matter, but rather as a civil matter – wrongful death – against my mother, if the evidence in this investigation supports this claim. Her lover, whom she ultimately married may have become an owner in my father's business. He himself died this year."

Jax could see that Harry was still uneasy.

"I assure you that none of this has anything to do with the MC. I am the Club's current president. Everything I have shared concerns my personal family business, though the basis and support for some of what I am doing is in club records. Information about my inheritance, though, is in the letters that I already gave you." With that comment, Jax laid the by-laws on Harry's desk.

Harry read the cover. "Sons of Anarchy?" he asked. He looked at Jax even more critically and pushed back from his desk. He then looked at Tara.

After a moment Tara spoke. "_Please_ help my husband, Mr. Williamson. He's a good man, a very good man, a family man. But he can be a great man with your assistance. I'm 2 months pregnant and the long term future of our family depends on this. Please _help_ _us_," Tara begged.

Harry quickly assessed the situation at hand, then gave his response. "Be advised that I retain the right to terminate this relationship at any time; but anything handled for you will remain confidential nonetheless."

"Thank you, Mr. – Harry," said Jax, obviously pleased with the outcome. "Thank you. But one more thing. Can I trouble you for 3 copies of the letters and by-laws, notarized that they were made from the originals? I want to leave the originals with you. How do you store these, by the way?"

"We have a fireproof vault where all documents are stored. In addition to paper formats, we have 2 different digital filing methods. Each method is completely separated from the others by location, by method of access, and by access authority," Harry explained.

"Sounds more than adequate," Jax responded.

"Oh it is. Trust me. Give me a moment and I'll get the retainer vouchered and bring your copies." Harry stood, picked up the documents and the money and left the room.

Once the door closed, Jax immediately turned to Tara, smiling at her warmly. "Thanks for saying what you said."

"I meant every word…"

Jax lifted Tara's chin and caught her lips in three short but searing kisses. He was peering deeply into Tara's eyes when Harry returned.

"Alright Jackson. Here are the original documents." Harry set them aside. "Here are your copies. The by-laws, and he put them into a folder, labelled. Here are the letters." Harry placed them into a separate labelled folder.

"I will prepare a letter outlining what we discussed here along with next steps - we'll do public records on the will and search estate law in 1993. You will check property records and we will reconvene. Say, next Wednesday, 11 a.m.?

"Sure," said Jax, "and here's the information on my father, his full name, address, dates, etc., and the business name and address. My mother's name is there, too. So, how do we communicate? Even weekly trips to the office here might be a problem for me," said Jax.

"Well," Harry stated, "there's phone, video conferencing, email. You can scan me copies of anything you want to share or send copies via overnight certified mail, or FedEx, UPS. You can also send things via courier. I can do the same."

"Anything except mailed documents will work. I also listed my name and phone. You can call me whenever you find something."

"You don't have your email address down here."

"I'll send it as soon as I get one. It'll be a couple of days."

Tara looked at Jax and smiled.

"Well. We'll let you get to it. Thank you for everything, Harry. You won't regret this." Jax offered his hand.

"My pleasure Jackson. Mrs. Teller, a pleasure." Harry extended his hand to Tara. "I will contact you though your lawyer in Charming. Here's my card." He gave one to Tara and one to Jax.

"Thank you."

Tara took Jax's hand and they left the office.

As they walked Tara said, "Jax, I can't tell you how very proud I am of you today. I already considered you one of the smartest people I know, but the way you thought all this through so quickly, put it all together. Knew the questions to ask – you were amazing, and I loved watching you."

Jax smiled. "I guess you never really got to see me to do much except outlaw." It was Tara's turn to smile. She had stopped walking as they were at the SUV.

Jax leaned against the car and smoothed Tara's hair away from her face. _I wish you would be here to see me do much more _he thought. Jax leaned into Tara and kissed her tenderly.

"So you're going to start videoconferencing, getting and sending emails and scans, huh?" Tara asked after the kiss.

"Yes, I am," said Jax, wearing his biggest grin.

"Jackson Teller, tech wizard," she teased. "Coming from 1955 straight to the 21st century."

"I'm all about the IT, baby," Jax quipped. "Let's go."

He opened the car door for Tara and secured her. When he opened the driver's side door, he shoved his papers deep under the driver's side car seat then got in himself. He started the engine and checked the time – it was 10:00. Tara was still holding her files.

"Since we finished earlier than expected, why don't we pick up what we need for dinner tonight? You up to it?" he asked.

"Sure. Let's go to the super Target near the hotel. They will have everything we need," suggested Tara.

The couple rode in silence for a while, before Jax said, "You know that I still can see that sadness that you've been trying to hide since this morning in spite of your efforts to appear jovial. How are you feeling, babe? Tell me." Jax took her hand.

Tara's lips and chin began to tremble. "Sad. I just feel incredibly sad."

By the time they entered the Target parking lot, Tara had started to snivel. Jax parked the car, cut the engine, rushed around to the passenger side, opened the door, freed Tara from her seat belt, and lifted her out into his arms. He held her tightly, rocking with her, smoothing her hair.

"I feel off balance, confused, untethered…", she continued, her arms around Jax's waist and back.

He kissed her forehead. "Me too, babe, but it will get better, for both of us. This all had to happen today sweetheart. You know it and I know it. Baby, I am so in awe of you, having the strength to push this thing forward while I was waffling in the weeds. I was blinded with rage but you kept going, in spite of the incredible hurt. So you can do this. You will do this." Jax kissed her forehead again, then her lips.

The kiss continued until they heard applause behind them. It had come from a group of seniors boarding the shuttle to a nearby assisted living facility.

"That kiss was more exciting than The Young and the Restless. Why'd you two stop? Keep going!" said one lady.

"Yeah," said another. "But they looked more like the Hot and the Bothered to me rather than the Young and the Restless."

Everyone laughed including Jax and Tara.

"We've drawn an audience," said Jax. A blushing Tara gave the small group a wave as Jax led her into the store.

Once inside they split the shopping, taking two carts. Jax handled meat, breads, charcoal, and barbecue tools. Tara handled fresh veggies, condiments, drinks and sundries. Jax sneaked off to get himself a couple more pair of sweat shorts – he liked those things. Jax thought for a moment and picked up a couple of pair for Opie too. _Was that, like, a chick thing to do,_ he wondered. But he wanted his friend to be comfortable tonight at the barbecue and jeans were hot in this weather. Maybe he and Ope could get in a brief workout at the hotel gym later.

As Jax was loading the car with their purchases, Tara said, "Jax, I really don't feel like going to the lake. I'd be a total buzz kill and I'm kind of tired, too. Would you mind if I went to the hotel? Maybe hang out at the pool. Marinate the steaks. You go on to the lake."

"Are you sure?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes – I'll be fine. Really. I'll be my old self by the time you guys come back."

"You'd better be," Jax said. "We have a date tomorrow and I ain't letting you out of it."

"Where are we going anyway?" Tara asked.

"You'll find out soon enough." Jax kissed her again and she touched his hand. "Any seniors around?" Jax began looking around the parking lot, then stole another kiss.

They both laughed again.

"Let's get you back to the hotel and settled in," Jax said.

They were back at the hotel in no time. Jax carried in the groceries and Tara insisted upon putting them away. She then quickly shooed Jax out of the door, promising that she would be OK on her own.

As Jax was leaving the building, he phoned Opie.

"Hey. How's it going, Ope?" Jax asked.

"Good," said Opie. "Museum is pretty interesting. Too bad we don't have this in Charming. Kids are making paper in a lab. It's wrapping up soon though. What's up?"

"I just dropped Tara at the hotel. You know we filed the divorce and custody papers this morning and I think it hit her really hard. She begged off meeting up at the lake. But we did do the food shopping for tonight and it's a little before 11:00. Can you and I do our thing now, if Donna can handle the kids? With any luck, we'll be a couple of hours and you can meet them after lunch and head to the lake together. I was going to go to the lake with you, Tara wanted me to, but I think I'll go back to be with her after you and I finish."

"Yeah, brother. Go and be with your old lady. She needs you now even if she won't say it. You need her, too."

"Ok then, I'm on my way to pick you up. See you at the front entrance in 15 minutes."

"Hey – any word on tomorrow?" Opie asked.

"I'll know by the time I get there," Jax said.

"OK man. See you in a few."

Jax scrolled through his contacts and found TO's number and TO answered on the first ring.

"Jax my man. Is everything cool?"

"No problems, man. Thanks for lookin' out this week. Sheriff came by the hotel yesterday – must have seen my bike. He asked what my business was, told him I was with my family, asked him not to call me in since no one knows where I am. He didn't and gave me a locking cover for the bike," Jax explained.

"Was it Stevens?" asked TO.

"Yeah."

"He's a straight shooter but fair."

"I could see that. But listen TO, I hate to ask but I need another favor. Do you have anyone who can babysit for us tomorrow? Opie and I want to surprise our old ladies with a wineries tour, dinner and maybe dancing. Opie's kids are 6 and 8, mine are 4 and 8 months. The kids are all spending the night in Opie and Donna's room. They are across the hall from Tara and me. We will be back by 11 p.m."

"As a matter of fact, I do," said TO. "My twin girls, Rose and Lily are 17. They have been sitting since they were 15 so they are experienced with kids of all ages, genders, and races too. They have their babysitting certification from the Y, so they were trained in CPR and other safe child practices. They are also licensed drivers and have a car. They are great girls Jax - both are headed to UCLA in the fall. My boy is down there now and graduates next May with dual degrees in information technology and business. Sorry – you didn't ask me all that but once I start talking about them I can't shut up!

"So I can have Rose and Lily do it if you want."

Jax was pleased. "Rose and Lily sound perfect. We'll make sure they have our phone number and itinerary in case of emergency. There's a pool here and a park nearby and I will leave plenty of money for food, maybe a movie. I trust them to decide activities. It'll be a long day for them though. I'll pay whatever they want."

"They can always call me, too," said TO. "And there's no charge for you, Jackson."

"You are a real friend, TO. But I insist on paying them. They are girls – they want things," Jax stated.

"True that my friend. True that."

"Sounds like you have a great family, man. Your kids are on the type of path that I want for my boys. I want to hear about how you managed that with the Club and all. Did I tell you Tara is 2 months pregnant with our third?"

"Congratulations, Jax. Children are a true blessing."

"Maybe we can meet somewhere and talk early next week? I really do want to hear more. I will have some business to talk about also."

"You got it," said TO. "Call me when you get back to Charming and we'll set it up. What time do you want the girls tomorrow?"

"How about noon? We leave at 12:30 and that way we can make sure our kids know the program before we leave."

"You are staying at that new Suites Residences, right? I heard it's nice over there," TO commented.

"Yes, rooms 147 and 148, but Rose and Lily should come to room 147."

"OK Jax, they'll be there tomorrow. Anything comes up, I'll call."

"Thanks man and I'll call you next week."

Jax quickly called to add Donna and Opie to his reservations, hopped in the car and drove off to meet his friend. He couldn't wait to give Opie the news.

Jax soon pulled up in front of the museum and Opie was waiting at the curb. He opened the door and climbed in. "Donna is OK for this afternoon. I'll call for our meet up when you and I are done."

"Good," said Jax. "Good news, too. You and Donna are all set for tomorrow. TO's daughters are going to babysit for us. They sound like great girls. We're getting picked up at the hotel at 12:30 and the girls, Rose and Lily are coming to your room at noon. I told TO we'd be back at 11 p.m."

"Alright!" said Opie. After a long pause he added, "So Jax, what the hell do you wear to a wine tasting tour?"

"I got no idea, man." They both laughed.

"Where are we going now anyway?" Opie asked.

Jax said, "I'm not telling you til we get there. You might try to jump out of the vehicle while it's still moving."

"Uh-Oh," Opie said.

Jax chuckled. "Don't worry, it's just shopping, Ope. I think we both can stand to upgrade our wardrobes."

Opie nodded his head in agreement.

"Oh yes, and I bought you some shorts to wear tonight." At that Opie raised his eyebrows and cut his eyes at Jax.

**A/N: So poor Tara is on a serious emotional roller coaster. One minute she's OK, next minute she's not. What do you think about my beefing up the Jax-TO relationship? TO became a Son (or a prospect?) in season 7 and I wanted to have that relationship based on something besides blood.**

**Please review – I am getting reviews from guests and I don't how to respond to them as there is no response link. If you have posted a guest review, thank you, thank you, thank you! If you have posted a non-guest review, thank you, thank you, thank you, too! (smile) If someone knows how to respond to guest reviews, please PM me. **

**I'm editing the next chapter now. From my perspective, it is a fun and unexpected one for our two favorite characters. So the angst is put away for a bit. SOA forever!**


	17. Chapter 17

Man's Everything Emporium

Jax parked the SUV in the rear parking lot of the massive men's store that boasted everything a man would need from clothing to jewelry. He noticed about 20 cars parked there but he was not deterred from going in. He and Opie walked through the automatic doors and stood just inside the doorway looking around at the various displays of merchandise. After a minute or two a gorgeous petite blonde started walking toward them.

"Here we go," said Opie, having a hunch about what was coming next. "Let's see what you got Grasshopper," he whispered to Jax.

"Good morning gentlemen." She looked Jax and Opie up and down suggestively. Jax nodded, Opie didn't. "How may I help you today?"

Jax looked around the large and fully stocked store floor again. "Actually, I would like that man over there to help us. Send him over." Jax pointed to a man who looked to be in his 60s, clearly older than the rest of the sales staff. He was casually dressed but wore his clothes with an air of elegance and sophistication. He reminded Jax of Elliot Oswald.

"If you change your mind, I'll be over there," and she pointed to one of several male cosmetics displays.

"I won't but thank you," Jax said and the disappointed blonde walked toward the man Jax identified. She spoke to him, he looked over, smiled, and strutted over to Jax and Opie.

"Good morning, sirs. My name is Michaels. Thank you for allowing me to help you today. What may I do for you?" He quickly sized up Jax and Opie, but not in the blonde's kind of way.

"Michaels is it?" said Jax.

"Yes," Michaels said with a warm smile. "My mom carried an air of pretension, and air was all she had."

"He's Harry and I'm Jackson," Jax said. "We are taking our wives on a wine tasting tour tomorrow and we figured that we are currently wearing isn't…you know…and we wanted help. Also, I am taking over and expanding a thriving automotive repair business and I wanted a couple of business type outfits."

Opie glanced over at Jax at that remark, making note to follow up on Jax's comment about the business.

"The most important thing, though, is that we both ride Harleys, too…"

Before Jax continued, Michaels said, "With kuttes? And you'd something with a bit more style?"

"Yeah, style," said Opie. Jax glanced at Opie at that remark.

"You heard the man," said Jax.

"Well, let's start with the big dates tomorrow. I take it the little ladies aren't used to seeing you dressed…less casually?"

After Jax and Opie both nodded, Michaels rushed to clothing racks and shelves, not even asking their sizes. _I love working with blank canvases,_ he thought.

Once he had gathered 5 to 6 pieces of clothing for each of them, he led them to the dressing rooms. Michaels hanged Opie's pieces together on hooks on one side of the large room, then Jax's on the other. He then put the articles for Opie's date in front, then did the same for Jax's.

Michaels signaled for Jax to exit with him. "Try on the date outfit in the front then come out and let us have a look."

While Jax and Michaels stood waiting for Opie, Jax asked, "So what's the story, Michaels? How long you been working here?"

"I've been here for 25 years, seeing to the needs of fine gentlemen like yourselves."

"You're not running the place?" Jax asked.

"I used to but the owners decided they needed a more…youthful eye. Frankly, they've been trying to get rid of me since. They put this commission structure in place that is a real…any way, I will probably have to look for something else soon."

Just then Opie stepped from the dressing room onto the sales floor looking like a deer in headlights. He was wearing sienna colored straight leg slim jeans, a brown, red and sienna colored European fit plaid shirt, a brown belt and a burnt sienna colored lightweight leather jacket.

"Have a look, Harry," said Michaels.

As he looked at himself in the mirror, Opie heard a gasp then murmurs among the female sales staff and customers. _Did he look that bad?_ he wondered.

But Michaels certainly approved, prattling on about how the colors set off the highlights in his hair. What damn highlights? What were highlights? Opie had to admit though, the outfit was comfortable and he didn't feel so…out of place. Opie smiled widely.

"You look good man," said Jax. "I think Donna will love it."

Michaels went into the dressing room and brought out a navy shirt with sienna and white stripes, a white tee, a black tee, tan straight leg chinos and dark brown denims. He made Opie hold up his arms and draped one tee over each arm, then added the chinos. Michaels went to a nearby clothing rack and selected a chocolate brown leather jacket.

Opie nodded, immediately getting the point, as did Jax. Michaels dashed over to the shirts. Jax and Opie could see Michaels busily pulling items from drawers, shelves, and a display or two. Every now and then he would glance over at Opie, who was still "modeling" his wares.

When Michaels returned, he draped Opie with an olive and gray pattern fitted shirt, a white shirt, an olive cowled cabled cardigan sweater, a lightweight brown vee neck sweater, a brown oxford shirt, dark navy relaxed fit jeans, and black straight leg jeans.

"Here you are, sir. This gives you several outfits to choose from and will also provide you options for upgrading your MC wear. This is but a beginning wardrobe that you can use to supplement your current wear. What do you think?" Michaels asked.

Opie nodded vigorously. "I like it all," said Opie.

Jax stared to chortle. "You look like a ragged mummy, man. A well-dressed ragged mummy." Jax continued laughing.

"Not funny man," Opie said. "I don't know how chicks do it."

"Yeah, or why," said Jax. "But you have to admit, we have enjoyed their fashion show from the last couple of days."

"Whooo!", said Opie. "Donna's never been more beautiful. I haven't seen her like this in ages. Did you see her in that bathing suit?"

"Can I say something honestly without you decking me?" asked Jax.

"No, probably not," said Ope.

"Then I will only say that Donna looked very, very nice."

"Good answer," replied Opie.

"Alright, sir. It's your turn. In you go. Your date outfit is on the front, too."

While waiting for the Jax show, Michaels removed all the clothing from Opie's arms.

"So what do you know about kuttes?" Opie asked.

"Only what I have read," Michaels quickly responded.

_Good answer_ thought Opie.

A few minutes later, Jax emerged from the dressing room. He was wearing black straight leg slim fitted pants that rode low on his hips with a black vee neck fitted Henley, and a black belt with a silver buckle.

Michaels examined Jax critically. "So what do you think?"

Jax looked at himself in the mirror. "Isn't this kind of boring, I mean, compared to Opie – I mean Harry," he asked.

Michaels shook his head no. "Trust me, it's not. But if you don't believe me, trust them."

Michaels pointed out a group of shoppers and he called out to them. "Ladies?" he said, pointed to Jax and held up his hands with one thumb up and one down.

Five hands shot up with the quickness, all with a thumbs up. This was followed by a hoot from a 60 something which caused Jax to blush.

"Satisfied?" asked Michaels.

"It's just that this is our first date in a long, long time. I just want to look extra nice for my wife," explained Jax.

Opie squeezed Jax's shoulder in approval of Jax's comments.

"I'll do everything I can to help you to do just that," Michaels said.

Just then, the blonde who wanted to wait on them at first came over and offered to help Michaels.

"He's doing fine, thank you – unless you want the help," Opie said, looking at Michaels.

"Not necessary," Michaels said, and he smiled. This time, the blonde stomped off.

"Thank you for asking for me. Ever since she got here 6 months ago, everyone's commission has taken a big hit. She flirts blatantly and rumor has it that she even sleeps with customers for repeat commissions." grumbled Michaels. "I know for a fact that several wives have complained."

"Why doesn't management do something?" asked Jax.

"They like the money she brings in."

Opie whispered to Jax, "Sounds familiar."

Michaels said "Now let's see…"

He went into the dressing room again and brought out a white shirt, a white fitted tee and a black fitted tee, a black and white gingham checked shirt, and a black vest. After draping these articles over Jax's arms, he went to the shelves, displays and drawers, coming back with black shirt, light gray slacks, a light gray vee neck fitted tee, light denim straight legged cuffed jeans, dark denim slim fit jeans, black jeans, a light blue vee neck sweater, a navy vee neck sweater, a cowl necked black pullover cable sweater, and a navy cowl neck cardigan sweater with a thick cowl that can be pulled up high around his neck, leather toggle buttons on a diagonal and a tapered waist.

"Do you have any questions about the possible outfits from these garments?" Michaels asked Jax.

"No – I think I got it. This is great."

Michaels said, "I meant to ask earlier – where are you going for dinner?"

"Wine and Roses, then the Beer Cellar for dancing. The wine tastings are part of the Tasty Wine Tour," Jax answered.

"I have heard good things about the Tasty Tour. And you should phone Wine and Roses and make sure they seat you al fresco in Trina's section. Tell them Michaels said. The Beer Cellar should be a fun way to close the night. How are you getting to dinner?"

"Driving I guess," said Jax.

Michaels shook his head no. "Kinda puts a damper on things. I have a relationship with a car service. I will arrange for it to pick you up, take you to dinner, dancing, then back to the hotel. Might as well splurge - that way, you can enjoy yourselves. Guaranteed to impress the wives."

"OK - set it up," said Jax, determined to make this a very special night.

"You will need a jacket for Wine and Roses. You'll be fine with the leather. But you…" and he pointed at Jax.

Michaels went to another area of the store and came back with 4 blazers – 1 button and 2 button styles, buttons on the cuffs as well. There was one navy, one black, one subtle patterned light gray, and one tobacco.

"For tonight? Try the tobacco, then the gray."

Jax tried them on and it was as if the garments were custom made for him. "So what do you think?"

"I like both, but I think gray for tonight," said Jax, looking at Opie who was grinning.

"Something funny?" Jax asked.

"No, no," said Opie.

Michaels turned to Jax. "What you told me about your business, I think you can leverage the outfits we have here with blazers and a crisp white shirt to handle your meetings. If you need a suit you can come back and we can select something appropriate for you.

"Now both of you go in and try any pair of the jeans and any tee or sweater. I am sure of the fit, but I just want to be extra careful."

They were in and out in no time. Opie chose the brown denims and white tee while Jax chose the cuffed light denim and a navy tee.

"Yasssss, yassss," droned Michaels. He turned each man around, lifted his top to check the waist and crotch, and pulled at the butt. "Squat for me." They did. "Feel comfortable? Be able to ride?"

"Yeah," answered Jax, but he was more concerned with where he'd keep his weapons. The tee fit his shoulders and chest, but there was enough give at the waist that he could keep his Springfield Professional there as usual. Besides, his kutte would cover it. Same with Opie.

"So what next?" asked Michaels.

"We're in your hands and we'll take everything," said Jax.

"Perfect!" exclaimed Michaels. "Let's just put these things at the register for when you are ready to check out. Now, there's underwear – may I suggest boxer brief's? Your pants are straight leg or slim fit and boxers are too bulky, briefs are – well let's just say you aren't in middle school anymore."

Jax took two 3 packs for himself and two 3 packs for Opie.

"Now shoes – I think brown brogues for Harry, size 12, Jackson, black derby's, open toe lasing chisel toe, size 11. Try them on."

The shoes fit perfectly and both Jax and Opie found them surprisingly comfortable.

"Socks, men's dress socks, black, navy and gray for Jax. Light brown, dark brown, and olive for Opie. Of course, socks are optional for tomorrow night."

"Of course," said Jax. "But I'd like a couple more shirts including 1 more white one. I'd also like a bold dark blue plaid one, a light blue plaid, a brown bold plaid one with, like red in it, and some dark brown pants tapered, brown belt. I'd like some brown brogues with black accents. And we each need 5 long sleeve white tees and 2 long sleeve black tees."

"I like your selections, Jackson."

"Anything else for you, Ope?" Jax asked Opie.

"Shorts," Opie said. "Not sweat shorts, but other shorts. And another pair of riding jeans and a shirt."

"Yes, Michaels – we need shorts," Jax agreed.

"May I suggest cargoes and walking?"

Both men shrugged.

Michaels selected a dark olive pair and a tan pair for Opie, a black pair and a khaki pair for Jax, all cargoes. For walking, he selected tan and dark brown pairs for Opie, and a white pair and a baby blue pair for Jax.

"How about colognes?" He picked Prada for Jax, Polo Ralph Lauren for Opie. Michaels was careful not to involve blondie though colognes were her department. "I have given you samples to take with you on your dates. Don't wear cologne to the tastings as you need to be able to smell the wines. You can put on the samples at the restaurant."

Then Michaels walked Jax and Opie over to the jewelry counter.

"Do you gentlemen wear watches? Men's watches have become a luxury item, but a well-dressed man still wears one." He removed a Tissot classic, one black and silver for Jax, one brown and gold for Opie. "Of course, you must upgrade to Rolex at some point."

"Of course," said Jax. "We'll take them." Opie raised his brows. _We must have 10 grand worth of stuff here._

"I think that about does it. Do you need any suggestions for the ladies?" Michaels asked.

"No," Jax said with great pride and a big smile – his dimples were in full effect. "My wife is a surgeon – the ladies have that covered."

"Oh?" said Michaels, with one eyebrow raised. "Look at you! Congratulations! Um, I do not mean to offend…"

"But?" said Jax.

"…May I suggest a mani-pedi? And a nice trim on the hair and beards? There's a place right up the street that is frequented by my customers. Very quick – very discreet and by the time you are back I will have all this bagged up for you. Cash or credit?"

"Cash," said Jax. "Can you bag what we are wearing for tomorrow separate from everything else? We'll need separate bags for his clothes and for mine. We can't go in there carrying armloads of clothes. I feel like I need to hide this stuff. Oh, and one bill, please" said Jax.

"As you wish." Michaels handed Jax a card to give to the salon. "I will phone Wine and Roses for you to request al fresco. I'll order the car service too. Your names?"

"Reservation is Knowles, but I am Jackson Teller," said Jax pointing to himself. "And this is Harry Winston," pointing to Opie.

"Michaels Douglas." He offered his hand.

At the look on Jax's and Opie's faces, Michaels murmured, "I know…. It is a pleasure meeting you both."

The two men left for the salon, Men's Cutz and Such. When they arrived, Jax and Opie gave the card to the receptionist. There were a quite few people in there, since it was the lunch hour. But service was quick and professional. The place was well staffed and within an hour and some change, they had their trims and mani-pedis. Both opted for man buns for the return and left with a spring in their steps and small bags of products.

"Not a word of this to anyone," said Opie, as they left the business to return to the Emporium for their clothing.

"About what?" asked Jax and the friends started to laugh.

A/N: **So, our boys have had their first shopping experience. Jax is pulling out all the stops, isn't he? Though this seems out of character, remember this is fanfiction. Jax is looking to make major changes in his life and he's discovering something we ladies already know. Need a change? New clothing and hairdo time! It has always worked for me…**

**I gotta say, it was such fun researching men's clothing styles to see the latest trends, patterns and colors. I am told by my world travelling daughter that UK men are the most stylishly dressed. Anyone agree? Disagree? So I checked out photos of David Gandy, David Beckham, and even Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, and Prince Harry. They are probably professionally styled (a la what Michaels did for Jax and Opie), but there are photos of men on the street, too. **

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I am editing the next two chapters. Please review and SOA forever!**


	18. Chapter 18

Good News…Bad News

Jax and Opie walked into the Emporium and headed over to the main register where they found that their bags were packed as requested and there were quite a few of them. Michaels had even labelled the bags for easy identification. Jax paid the rather substantial bill and Michaels began walking with them to their car, carrying as many of the bags as he could handle. Jax and Opie carried the remainder.

"You are all set with the car service and I spoke to Alexander at Wine and Roses. He will see to you personally once you arrive," Michaels said.

The trio arrived at the SUV and they promptly loaded it with their bounty. The three men shook hands and Michaels gave them several business cards, each.

"It was a pleasure to serve you," he said. "If you need anything, please let me know. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Lodi. Again, thank you so much for asking for me." Then Michaels started back for the building. _Twenty percent commission, almost $2000. Not bad for a couple of hours' work, h_e thought. Michaels had the happy feeling that this was not the last time he would cross paths with the two young men.

"Must be how the other half lives," Jax said to Opie as they climbed into the SUV.

"Did you pay with the Chucky money?" asked Opie.

"No," said Jax. "It's all mine from Galindo and Pope - mostly Pope. I had a side deal with him – made almost a mil. You know, I think he thought of me as a son in some weird way. Used to talk to me about business. Threw me some side work. I learned a lot from him."

"Wow – but I'll pay you back, man," Opie stated with all seriousness. "For the trip and the clothes."

"I didn't ask, and no you won't – I won't take it," Jax said with equal seriousness. "You don't typically talk much Ope, but you laid out the road for me yesterday from high to low. You really set me straight about the way I have been acting. I think you talked more yesterday that you did all of last year. That's how I know how pissed you were at me.

"But you didn't say anything that I didn't need to hear and I thank you for it. I have a lot to do, Ope and things will become clearer to you, soon. I am going to need that Opie wisdom and way of telling me the truth. I know I can depend on you to give it. I hope I can depend on you Ope – that you're with me.

"Check with Donna and see how she's making out. If she's OK, maybe we can squeeze out another hour for a quick lunch. You can meet them at the lake. Then I'll go see my old lady. We can talk more at lunch."

"I'll call Donna, now."

He did. They were still at the science museum and were going to have lunch there then visit another exhibit or two. They weren't due at the lake until 2:30.

"Good," said Opie. "I'm gonna have a quick bite with Jax then he'll drop me off at the lake, OK? I'll try to make the boat ride at 3. Jax is going back to the hotel to spend time with Tara after he drops me off."

"Is she OK?" Donna asked.

"Jax said she had a rough morning. They filed for divorce today."

"Oh no," Donna said. "I was so hoping that they wouldn't do it and try again."

"Me too, Sweetheart. But don't count them out yet."

"Well…ok then. Call me when you're on the way."

"I will. I love you," Opie said.

Jax heard the conversation and he was saddened, wondering if he would ever get to tell Tara he loved her after Wednesday.

Jax and Opie pulled into the lot of a fast food chain. They went inside and ordered burgers, fries and drinks. When they received their food, they found a booth away from the crowd and Jax began to eat and explain some things.

Jax began. "My first night here, Tara gave me originals of some letters my dad wrote to Maureen Ashby."

"The Irish woman?"

'Yes. She and my dad had an affair, and Trinity is his daughter and my half-sister."

Opie frowned. "That's some fucked up shit, man."

"Well it gets worse. The letters he wrote say that Gemma and Clay were having an affair and that the two of them were trying to kill him. He wanted to get the club out of guns and he wanted to divorce Gemma and take Thomas and me away. But Thomas died, then my dad died before any of this could happen.

"The letters said that he left several insurance policies including one to Maureen to help her raise Trinity. He also left an insurance policy for me along with half of TM, but at that time, it was Teller Automotive. I didn't know any of this, Ope."

"Teller Automotive…and you intend to take it over," stated Opie.

"If it's my birthright, then yes. I got outside lawyers looking into it. So then Tara gave me a copy of the original SAMCRO by-laws from Piney."

"From my dad?"

"Yeah, signed and sealed by attorneys and everything. Did you know about them?"

"I never heard about any by-laws."

"Opie, the club now is nothing like it was originally intended. I know you read the manuscript, but when I read the rules? The sanctions for rule infractions? Even the prison clause ain't what we thought it was. What they wanted for SAMCRO was so much more clear to me. I want to take it back there, Opie. Back to the beginning. We are at peace now, so its possible. I have a way in mind.

"Once the path is righted, I will walk away from SAMCRO and hopefully reunite with my family. Tara has agreed to regular phone calls, and there's a slight chance that I might even be able to see my baby born. I want that more than anything. She doesn't trust me enough yet to even tell me exactly where she's going, but I hope that time will change that.

"The by-laws provide circumstances whereby a member can leave SAMCRO with tats, kutte, and rep intact. One way is if you served 5 years of incarceration due to club business. That makes you eligible Ope. Another is to join the military.

"My God, man…"

"I know Opie, but my heart isn't in SAMCRO anymore. But I love the people. You are all my brothers and I love you. But my true heart is moving away and taking my kids because of me and the club, what the club currently is, what I am, what I've done. So I will deal with all that then I'm out – hopefully leave it in a better place for everyone else.

"Tara is the one found all this out. She found the letters – that's why Clay tried to kill her and Piney. Clay needed to keep his and Gemma's secrets safe. Piney gave Tara the by-laws and she looked into some things. Like I said the other day, Ope, as bad as things were between us she was still trying to help me. She told me that the club isn't my dad's legacy – that I am. If you think about everything that way, then the manuscript becomes clearer. He was showing me the pitfalls of MC life in order to make me a better man. Leaving me some money and half of TM was his way of starting me on a path to a good life – a life stolen by Clay and Gemma. I swear, if that bastard wasn't dead already…" Jax shook his head.

"But step 1, I'm dealing with Gemma. Step 2, I'm reorganizing the club, step 3 I'm finding legit businesses for the club and for myself personally. Step 4 I'm out. I am giving myself 12 months. After that, let the chips fall… But I want you with me Ope."

Opie opened his mouth to speak.

"No Ope – I don't want a decision now, or even discussion. I want you to think about everything I've just said. We'll talk more later. I have a copy of the by-laws and the letters for you. I'll give them to you before you leave on Wednesday. Read them before Thursday church meeting. I am handing out copies there, setting aside the morning for people to read, then we will reconvene later for discussion. I have a critical role for Piney in all of this, too."

"Whatever it is, he'll love it," said Opie. "So church is Thursday?"

"Yes."

"OK."

Jax saw that Opie seemed disappointed.

"What's up, bro?" Jax asked.

"I was going to ask if Donna and I could stay here until Saturday." Opie looked at Jax. "You know that we were going through it for a while, though things straightened out. This trip has been so good for our family. I can't tell you how much we all appreciate what you've done by having us all here."

"You guys have helped us, too. So yeah, stay until Saturday. I have already told you what I intend to tell the brothers, and you can read the documents while you're here. Actually, I am probably staying until Thursday myself – I have some things to take care of and I don't think I can do them tomorrow or Wednesday morning. We are meeting on Thursday afternoon – discussion probably Saturday afternoon."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. Stay. Enjoy a few more days here with your family. And if you thank me again, we're gonna have a problem."

"I'll tell Donna. She'll be happy – the kids too. Anything you need, brother…" said Opie.

"I'm glad to hear you say that man cause I need one more thing. I need Donna."

Opie stopped mid-chew.

"She still working for that lawyer?"

"She is. Wants to go to school for paralegal."

"Good," said Jax. "I want to buy a computer and some phones early Wednesday morning. Can she go with me?"

"I'll ask her."

"Also, Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning, I need her to help me get an email address and to show me how to find things on the computer. I will need other lessons too, and I thought about those classes at community college but if Donna can teach me, I would prefer to pay her to do it. I might have some other work for her, too, but the work I have is completely legit and will not jeopardize Donna in any way. I'll need 10-15 hours a week to start and I wanted to ask you first before I talk to her. You say no and I'll find another way."

"No problem, man. I'll tell her about helping you Wednesday or Thursday and that you want to talk to her about some work," said Opie.

The guys finished their burgers and fries and disposed of their trash. Opie called Donna that he was on the way and would be at the lake in 30 minutes. With any luck he would just make the boat tour otherwise he would meet them at the docks after.

After Jax dropped Opie off, he sped to the hotel but paused before entering the building. He reached into his pocket and withdrew the phone number to the Mills, Matthews and Lane law firm. When the receptionist answered he asked for Roger Mills. Jax was promptly transferred to another partner.

"Good afternoon sir. My name is Jackson Teller. Mr. Mills did some legal work for my father, John Teller, 10-15 years ago and it is urgent that I speak with him. I am aware that he's retired but he's the only one who can answer my questions. My father died in 93."

"Please hold on Mr. Teller," said the partner, and Jax was treated to that elevator music that he hated.

After a few minutes, a different voice got on the line.

"Mr. Teller. This is Roger Mills. It is good that you called."

"Mr. Mills. Thank you for taking my call. I am in Lodi for the next few days and I would like to meet in person. I can do Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning early," Jax explained.

"It just so happens that I have breakfast at the Lodi diner every Thursday morning at 8 am. Can you meet me then?"

"Yes, I can. I have many questions," said Jax.

"I'm sure you do," said Mr. Mills. "Here, take down my number – 555-775-5555. Call me if anything comes up. Otherwise I will see you on Thursday."

"OK, sir- 8:00 am."

"And Jackson? I am so glad to get your call."

Jax ended the call and sat in the SUV for a minute, excited that he was going to get some answers to his many questions. He decided to wait until after that discussion to call and update Harry. He'd have an email by then, too. Jax exited the vehicle and headed to his hotel room.

When he entered his room, Jax saw plastic bowls of cut vegetables, fresh fruit, and snacks. Jax opened the fridge and saw 3 pans, one with burgers and 2 with steaks. Next to the pans were 3 packs of hot dogs. He stuck his finger in the marinade. _Tastes good_, he thought.

Jax went to the bedroom and found Tara there. She was lying down with the shades drawn, but not sleeping.

He sat down on the bed next to her.

"Hey, Darlin'. How are you feeling? Better?" Jax asked.

"Yes," she answered, "some."

"Have you eaten?"

"No, not since breakfast."

"Not good. You have to have something on your stomach."

Jax then rose, went into the kitchen and poured a small glass of apple juice. He then quickly whipped up a scrambled egg, toasted a slice of wheat bread, and added a couple of slices of fruit, to a plate, which he promptly took to Tara. She was coming out of the bathroom when he brought in her plate.

"Eat."

Tara returned to bed and Jax sat on the side of it and watched her.

When she finished, she shook her head. "Wow," she said, "Didn't know I was hungry. This wasn't bad for someone who can't cook," she smiled.

"You have to eat regularly, if not for yourself then for the baby." He leaned over and put his hand on her belly. He leaned in close. "Hey little one. It's your daddy. I hope you feel better now that your mommy has eaten." He rubbed Tara's stomach lovingly, humming a lullaby.

Tara smiled again.

"I'm grabbing a shower and changing clothes," Jax stated. "Let's go get a little sun. It's hard to be sad in the sun. Opie and Donna will be back at 5 and we can start dinner then."

Tara nodded. Jax went to the shower and was out in no time. Naked, he casually walked into the bedroom, donned some black sweat shorts, a white tee and his flip flops. Tara was already dressed in a one piece black swim suit. Thick red laces went from the high cut thigh to several inches under her arm, leaving a 3 inch gap between the front piece of the suit and the back.

Jax looked at Tara and shook his head. "Damn, you really know how to hurt a guy. Can't you put on a flannel housedress, some hair curlers and some face cream or something? Jesus Tara!" He walked up to her, put his hands in her hair and kissed her passionately. He released her quickly though, took her hand and said, "Let's go." He grabbed a clean towel from the bath and they took off.

_He's talking about me and he strolls in here naked…_Tara thought.

They were able to find a double lounge chair under an umbrella and the two shared it, both on their backs, wearing sunglasses and facing the few swimmers in the pool. They were lying there, enjoying the time together and the sunshine, when their silence was broken by the sound of Jax's phone.

He picked it up. "Yeah."

"Hi Jax." He looked at Tara and she in turn looked at him. Jax put the phone on speaker after checking to make sure no one was nearby.

"What do you want Collette? Bobby Elvis better be dead, because I made it clear you're to call him and not me, ever." Jax's demeanor immediately changed. The president of the Reaper Crew was back.

"Well I had hoped that maybe you calmed down from the shock of having your wife see us together like that and that you're ready for us to pick up where we left off. Where are you? You in town? I can come to you. I'm wet and ready for you baby – ready to do that thing you like…help you relieve some of that stress…"

Tara made to get up and Jax grabbed her hand to keep her in place. She tried to pull away but his grip was too strong.

"You crossed the line bitch and there will be consequences – immediate consequences. I do not play. Ask Ima. And do not ever mention my wife again."

He hanged up the phone.

"Tara, Tara, baby, please, please." Jax tried to hold her against him as she struggled to leave…

"No, Jax. No. And what 'little thing' is it that you like, hmmm? Inquiring minds want to know. Ugh, I hate this!"

"She won't call again, Honey. I'll see to it."

"Yeah, sure," Tara sniffed. "Not my problem anymore," she said viciously. "Fuck who you want when you want where you want. I'm out of here for good on Wednesday – away from your cheating ass. So what are you going to do? Have her beaten or killed? Seems like to me that's the only way to stop her."

Tara bit her bottom lip which had started to tremble. "Please don't have her beaten or killed, Jax," Tara quietly said. She lowered her head and the tears started to stream down her face.

Shit, Jax thought. They had come so far. The morning was tough enough and now this. He didn't want her to have to keep revisiting that day. It was rough enough without that bitch stalking him, but it was all his own damn fault…

Jax nodded, scrolled through his contacts and pressed the call button.

"Bobby – have you heard from Collette?" Jax asked.

"No, but I was over there and hour or so ago checking on things. Did something happen?"

"Yeah – she called me again, after I made it clear. No more calls. I want you, Chibs, and Tig to head over there and make sure she understands what will happen if she does this shit again. Don't beat her, don't kill her, but make the point clear. Take Nero too, since he's involved over there."

"You got it, prez."

"Everything else cool?" Jax asked.

"Yup, but your mom's been around asking questions."

"When hasn't she been?" Jax observed. "Tell her nothing, except that I'm on business and will be back in a few days. Remember, church on Thursday afternoon. Leave me a message once you've handled that other matter."

Jax hanged up and faced Tara anew. He couldn't tell what she was thinking because of her sunglasses.

"Jax, I have no right anymore to tell you what to do or who to see, but I can't…I can't…I just…"

Jax lay on his side facing her. He reached over and took her in his arms, rolled to his back, and when he did Tara was lying with her head on his shoulder.

"Shhh…shhhh… I know. Don't worry about that, don't let it cross your mind anymore. You are the only woman I've ever wanted."

Jax fisted her hair and pulled her head back for a deep and sensual kiss. When it ended Tara nestled her face into his neck, but he could still feel the wetness on her cheeks and the tension in her body. He held her close, soothing and comforting her, whispering sweet things in her ear.

Then Jax's phone rang again. _Jesus Christ he muttered. That had better not be…_He looked at the ID this time. Nero.

"Excuse me, sweetheart, I need to take this."

He untangled himself from Tara but not before another kiss. He then walked over to the fence by himself.

"Jax."

"Hey Nero. What's going on?"

"I know you said not to call but this is sort of an emergency. It's Gemma. She's been talking to Collette, my guess is winding her up about you."

"How do you know?" Jax asked.

"Gem's phone was ringing this morning. I saw it was Collette so I answered but it was too late. Display read that there were 11 calls to and from Collette's number. Also, I ran into Unser. Gemma's been trying to get him to track you and Tara. He's not cooperating."

"Shit. I just need 2 more days man. Tara and the boys are leaving Wednesday and I don't want Gemma and her schemes to interfere with that. She's not getting what she wants this time. The other thing is that I don't want her nosing around and creating noise and curiosity among other clubs, chartered and not. Things are quiet and I want it kept that way. C'mon man! Do you have any ideas on how to help?"

"Well I was thinking maybe I could take her on a surprise trip to somewhere –," Nero offered.

"Sounds good, but it can't be Frisco, can't be LA. Train up the coast to Vancouver won't work. Has to be a plane to somewhere," Jax stated.

"I got it. How about Vegas? Three day, two night package. She's back Thursday."

"That's good Nero. And there's no SAMCRO chapter in Vegas. The nearest is Uncle Jury, 500 hundred miles north of Vegas. I will give him a BS call before you get there in case Gemma thinks to call him. Think she'll go for it?"

"I can be very persuasive."

Jax could almost see Nero smiling. "I'm sure you can be. Say that you're scouting a new location for Diosa, write the trip off as a business expense. Would telling Gemma that you and I discussed this today hurt or help?" Jax asked.

"Now you're thinking. I think it will help. At least she knows you're safe and handling club business. I can also make a case for her to not rattle any cages right now. I'll tell her you'll be back in a few days and that I'm sure you'll talk to her then."

"Thanks, Nero. Please get her out of town. Don't even let her pack. Buy her what she needs when you get there. I'll pay you back. Every dime you spend," stated Jax. "Have you talked to Bobby?"

"Yeah he called. I told him I'd call him back," Nero responded.

"I need you to go with him to Collette's. She called me today, wanted to know where I am so she could come over. Gemma may have put her up to it, since you say she called Gemma. Bobby, Chibs and Tig are gonna have a little talk with her. Let her know that she needs to be listening to me and not Gemma. Let them know that Gemma is behind all this. But don't tell Collette that we're on to her and Gemma. OK? Tara heard the call and she's back upset again."

"You got it Mano. Sorry about Tara, man. It's going to take her a minute to get over things anyway. You don't need anyone poking at the wounds."

"OK man. I need to talk to you when I'm back in a few days. Got big plans. Keep me posted," said Jax.

The call ended and Jax checked the time - it was almost 3:30. He returned to the lounger.

Tara watched him as he walked purposefully to her. She wondered if he would tell her what the call was about. She knew it was either Gemma or Collette. Since Collette called him, her money was on Gemma.

Jax sat down and positioned himself and Tara as they were, him on his side, her on his chest. He held her close with one arm and stroked her cheek with his thumb with the other. Jax pressed gentle kisses on her forehead. He loved being with her like this. _Feels like heaven, he thought, I don't want it to end._

Tara nuzzled his chest with her cheek. She could feel the tension gradually leave her body and she loudly exhaled. She slightly turned her head and planted gentle kisses between his breasts. _Feels like heaven she thought, I don't want it to end._ Tara eventually began rubbing her foot against Jax's leg, finding his skin to be soft and warm. Jax moaned and Tara could feel the vibration from it.

Tara eventually closed her eyes and dozed off, awakening with a start in Jax's arms. He began to rub her forearm while squeezing her tightly against him.

After enjoying his nearness for another few minutes, Tara leaned back to look at him.

"How are you feeling, Beautiful?" Jax asked.

"Much better, thank you. This rest was just what I needed. What time is it?"

Jax checked his phone. "It's 4:40. You slept for almost an hour."

He looked at Tara and saw that she looked much better than she did earlier but a tinge of sadness was still there. He figured that that wasn't necessarily a bad thing – how would he feel if she were happy about leaving him? Still, he didn't want her to be upset or worried. She had the kids and herself to think about.

"Glad you're feeling better," he said and kissed her forehead. Jax then sighed and snuggled closer, gripping the back of Tara's head in his hand.

"The phone call earlier?" he began. "It was Nero. Apparently Gemma is using Collette to try to find me. Nero's taking Gemma out of town for a few days which is all we need. I will deal with Gemma as soon as I get back to Charming. The club is meeting Thursday afternoon. I'm giving out copies of the by-laws, and the letters."

Tara nodded. "Sounds like good plans. You should probably make the manuscript available too. I don't think you should allow the letters off the premises. They read them – you take the all back. Those letters impact people outside the club too and you don't want them used as a weapon against an innocent."

_Who the hell was innocent in those letters, Jax wondered. Not even Trinity, not after the way she was with him. _But Jax would take Tara's advice. Same with the manuscript.

Jax went on. "I want to create a new club position – MC historian. I can leave the copies with Piney and have him in charge of checking them in and out. He'll love that. Have him create a system for storing these things so they are never lost to the club."

"Piney the librarian," teased Tara.

"He's a natural – knew those records were significant and held on for the right time," said Jax.

"And the right person," Tara added. She stroked Jax's cheek.

"I love you so goddamn much, I can't even say," said Jax, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I love you too, so much, Jackson. My heart and soul are full of you. It's why the betrayals hurt so bad. It's why the emotional distance between us these past months hurt so bad." Tara rose slightly and lay her body completely on top of him. "I want the pain to go away Jax."

"So do I, Sweetheart. I have been so lost, so alone."

Tara held Jax's face in her hands. "I want the boys to grow up feeling safe, secure, and loved, with options so they can provide a good life and a solid future for their children. I want that for myself, too, and the only way I could see to have it is to go away from you and from Charming, Jax."

"I know, Baby, I know, Jax responded. "And I am so sorry that it has to be that way." I love you, Jax mouthed, silently, nodding his head for emphasis, willing her to feel what he felt for her, his boys, and his unborn.

They began kissing, lightly at first, then more and more passionately, until Jax thought he'd implode. Tara ran her hand down his chest, over his hard abs, but stopped at his waistband, spotting a few families coming in to swim.

He took her hand and kissed it. "We'd better get back to the room. Opie, Donna and the kids will be back shortly."

He stood up, took Tara's hand and pulled her from the lounger. He laced their fingers together and the pair walked to their room.

Dinner couldn't have gone any better. The meal was excellent and the company even better. The two families laughed and talked happily, the kids babbling about their day and the adults telling the children about their days as youthful friends.

They cleaned up the picnic area and went back to their respective rooms. Jax and Tara decided to use the time that they were preparing the little ones for bed to tell them about Wednesday.

"Abel and Thomas. Are you having fun?" Jax asked.

"Yes, Daddy," Abel responded.

"You and Thomas will be going on an airplane with Mommy to live in a new place on Wednesday…" Jax continued.

"An airplane?"

"Yes?"

"A big airplane?"

"Yes, but Daddy isn't going with you. I have work to do." Jax looked up at Tara. "So I need you to be a good boy and take of Thomas and Mommy while I'm not with you. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes. But who will take care of you, Daddy?"

Jax looked at Tara again, knowing what she was thinking.

"Uncle Opie and Aunt Donna will look out for me. But I love you, never doubt that, ever, and I will miss you very, very, very much. All of you."

Jax looked at Tara again, his eyes filled with tears. "I will phone you often, and Mommy will let you phone me any time you want. OK buddy?"

Abel nodded his head yes.

"I love you Abel. I love you Thomas." Jax lifted Thomas from the tub, kissed him and passed him to Tara, while he tended to Abel.

The boys were tucked into bed in no time, and kissed goodnight. Jax started to read them a story but the two were asleep well before the end, having had a full day and no nap.

When Jax and Tara left the kids bedroom, Jax excused himself to go speak with Opie. He left their hotel room and crossed the hall, tapping on the door lightly. Opie answered.

"You busy?" Jax asked.

"Not yet," answered Opie with a grin.

"I want to go buy Tara a nice present tomorrow morning," said Jax, his voice lowered.

"Yeah, I was going to get Donna flowers."

"You should send her some to your house on Saturday, too, like an extra surprise," suggested Jax.

"Yeah, she'll like that. What are you getting Tara?" Opie asked.

"A single rose for tomorrow, and a couple of books. Want to go with me? There's a bookstore in the mall with Target."

"Sure. Let's call Michaels about the flowers," Opie said.

"Sounds good," Jax said. "Did you tell Donna about staying the extra days and my offer?"

"I did, brother, and she's over the moon. I want to get back inside and see if I can send her even further out, like through a black hole, or the rings of Saturn or somewhere."

"Yeah right," Jax laughed. "More likely she's gonna send you."

Opie nodded. "You're right about that, brother."

Their giggles subsided, Opie asked, "So how are things with you and Tara?"

"We were doing better, man. She could actually stand to have me touch her, now, but then Collette called with some BS. I had her on speaker because I wanted Tara to hear that there's nothing there, but the call upset her anyway."

"I'm sure it did. Sorry man."

"I sent the boys to deal with her. She's been talking to Gemma."

Opie looked at Jax, questioningly. "That can't be good."

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Nero's taking Gemma to Vegas for a few days. That should keep her busy so that Tara and the boys can get away. Tears me up, man, Tara and my sons having to escape from here like some goddamn fugitives or something. I'm was such an asshole to her…to them."

"But you're not now, right? And you ain't gonna be again. But I'm truly sorry they're leaving, man."

"It's for the best right now. But I intend to get them back, Opie."

"You will brother. Anything I can do to help…"

"Thank you, brother. Now get on back in there – you got work to put in!"

The men hugged and kissed and walked back inside their respective rooms.

Tara was in bed by the time Jax walked in. He took another quick shower and climbed into the big bed, naked this night. After a few moments he slid over to her, dropped his arm over her, spooned her, kissed her ear, and enjoyed another night of restful sleep.

**A/N: How's Jax doing so far, dear readers? I'm begging for reviews here, people! (smile) Thank you in advance. SOA forever!**


	19. Chapter 19

D-Day, the Open

Tara was up early. She was dressed casually as she decided to wash clothes for herself and the boys, opting not to take 5 days worth of dirty clothes on their trip. She was at the continental breakfast being served off the lobby where she loaded a plate with bacon, toast, fresh fruit, waffles. She still had cereal and milk for Abel, and plenty of jars of food for Thomas. _Thomas!_ Tara thought and she quickly walked over and picked up a couple of bananas and some yogurt. She hurried back to their room.

Jax met her at the door and said he was headed out with Opie on a quick errand. He reminded her that the sitters were coming at noon and asked that she take the kids over to Donna's. He wanted her to dress over there for their date explaining that he and Opie would dress in their room. He left after quick kisses and entered the hallway, where he met Opie.

"Right on time, brother," said Opie. "It's exactly 9 a.m."

The friends thought they were skipping breakfast, but when they saw that continental breakfast was still being served, they quickly detoured. Jax made himself a bacon egg and cheese on an English muffin, and a cup of coffee to go. Opie fixed a sausage and egg on wheat toast and poured himself a cup of orange juice. After snagging a handful of napkins, they took off for the SUV.

Once inside the vehicle, Opie took out the card for Michaels and called the cell number written on the back.

"Good morning," said a cheery Michaels.

"Good morning, Michaels. This is Harry from yesterday."

"Hello Harry. Is Jackson with you? Please give him my greetings," Michaels said.

"Michaels says to tell you hello. Listen, we need to get some flowers for today. Do you know of a good florist?" Opie asked.

"Yes, Ianucci's on Main Street. They'll take care of you. Tell them—"

"I know, Michaels sent us," Opie grinned.

"So today is date day?" asked Michaels. "Make sure you send me pictures and let me know how it goes."

"OK, Michaels", having no idea how to send pictures anywhere. "Have a good one."

Jax and Opie went to the bookstore first and Jax selected 3 books of poetry for Tara, one book each for Thomas and Abel, and a board book for his unborn son. The salesperson was happy to gift wrap the books for him and he included a small card in each package. He picked up the next book in the Harry Potter series for April, and a game of Jenga for Sam. These he gave to Opie to give to the children later.

Finished in the bookstore, the two headed to the florist. The men picked out flowers for tonight, and Opie selected a beautiful bouquet to be delivered to his home on Saturday afternoon for Donna.

Back at the hotel, Tara was washing clothes. The load was now in the dryer and she was sitting on the couch in Opie's and Donna's room, chatting with Donna while all the kids were there having breakfast.

"So how are you feeling about tomorrow?" Donna asked.

Tara shrugged. "The plan's in place. I have to follow it through. But I have to get to Wednesday first, though, and Jax isn't making it easy."

Donna inquired further. "What do you mean?"

"He's like the new and improved Jax. These past days here have been so wonderful. It's what I've wanted all along, the normalcy. I've loved it, being here with Jax and the kids, you and Opie."

"And the nights?" asked Donna with a wicked grin.

"Not so much," Tara admitted. "The time we tried to be intimate all I could picture was Jax and that bitch Collette. It was like seeing it all over again."

"Seeing it? Literally, seeing it? You mean you saw him – them?" said Donna in disbelief.

"Going at it like rabid dogs," explained Tara. "Saw a couple of position changes and a blowjob, before they realized I was in the room." Tara paused and took a deep breath, a lone tear falling.

"He and I are sleeping in the same bed now, I just got OK with that, and this morning I was greeted with his morning wood poking at me. Jax slept naked this time. Aside from all that, pregnancy makes me horny as hell, then I get mad at him again because if I act on what I want I see him and the bitch again. I'm sick to death of it," she confessed.

"Oh my God. I can't imagine." Donna gave Tara a hug. "I am sorry, honey. But listen, don't do anything before you're ready – don't be pressured by your trip tomorrow into doing anything before you're ready. If you need more time – so be it. What I know is that if you call Jax to come to you next week he'll be out of Charming on the next thing smoking to get to you. In the meanwhile, there are things you can do that you don't need Jax for…" Donna offered with a big grin.

Tara grinned back. "I know…I was pregnant while he was imprisoned."

"There you go, then, handle your business. But if you want Jax now, throw his ass down, take what you want, then kick his ass for making you fuck him like he's a sex toy instead of the man you love. Then you hold your head up high, strut onto that plane tomorrow and start your new life, whether Jax is in it or not. You are in the drivers' seat here, honey. Don't you forget it," Donna stated.

Tara smiled. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Awww…I'm going to miss you too. But we'll talk on the phone often, right?" Donna asked.

"Yes, we will. You've been a good friend, Donna, and I love you. But tell me, you ever throw Opie's ass down?"

"On the regular," said Donna. "I want him to know who's boss."

"You are too much with your 5 foot tall self," Tara laughed.

"You better, know it," Donna said laughing also.

Tara thought back to the night she pushed Jax into a wall, tore the buttons off his shirt baring his chest, dragged him over to the sink, and fucked him silly – all in the bathroom in the MC clubhouse. Jax was docile for a weeks afterward. Maybe Donna was right and she should have pulled that more often. _Hindsight…_

Tara stood, left the room to go to the laundry area and brought the clothes from the dryer. Donna helped her fold them. They were sitting on the couch holding hands when Opie and Jax returned. After kisses all around, Jax went over to the desk took out a few sheets of paper and an envelope and he started to write. When he finished, he reached into his pocket, removed several large bills, put them inside and handed the sealed envelope to Tara.

"It's the itinerary for this evening, and all of our cell numbers. I put in cash for food, movies, whatever. I put my room key in there in case they need to get back into our room, so make sure you have yours tonight. You can give Rose and Lily any special instructions you want them to have," Jax instructed.

Opie spoke next. "Tara, dress over here, so bring your clothes and makeup. Jax and I are dressing in 148. He and I will meet you out front at 12:25, but we will call you when we want you to come out."

"Oooooooo," said Donna. "I love this mystery. It's like not seeing the bride before the wedding."

"'Spose it is," said Opie. "So that will make tonight the wedding night. He sidled up to Donna and dipped her into a passionate kiss.

"Whoa," said Jax, while Tara smiled. "Keep that up and you might not make the date."

Jax took Tara's hand. "I'll help you gather what Abel and Thomas might need for today and bring their things and yours to Opie's."

They exited to their room and packed pajamas, a couple of clothing changes, diapers, food, etc. Tara also pulled a dress, underwear, shoes and a purse for her date and Jax carried everything over to Opie's. She returned to Opie's with him.

Tara reminded Abel that a sitter was coming and that he was to be a good boy. She and Jax quickly cleaned and dressed Abel and Thomas for their day. Then Opie and Jax returned to Jax's room.

At 11 am, they went to the SUV and removed the clothing bags Michaels labelled for their date today. They also removed the flowers. Opie had chosen a single deep red rose, and Jax had chosen a pink one. The florist had dressed the flowers in tissue paoer with a tiny water vial, and with ribbons for the special occasion.

Back inside the room, they each headed to a shower and began to prepare for their date. By noon the men were spit shined and perfect.

They jokingly checked each other for clothing tags then sat, waiting for the appointed hour. They heard a knock on Opie's door and assumed it was Lily and Rose. Jax called Tara at about 12:15 and asked her to send the girls over just so he and Opie could meet them. Shortly after the call, he heard a light tap on the door. He opened it and invited Lily and Rose in, being careful to make certain that neither he nor Opie was visible.

"Rose and Lily? This is Opie Winston and I'm Jax Teller," Jax said, pointing first to Opie then himself.

The twins each offered their hand. "Mr. Jax, Mr. Opie. I'm Rose, this is Lily. Our dad told us about you. It's nice to meet you. Thomas and Abel are adorable," said Rose, wearing blue. "April and Sam, too."

"Any thoughts on what you'll do today?" Jax asked.

"A little lunch here, first, maybe a movie downtown, the park, the pool, dinner, a bath, games here, then bed. Not sure of the order though. We'll play that by ear."

"Sounds good," said Opie. 'We'll be back at 11 and you have all of our cell numbers if you have questions or in case of an emergency. Thank you for sitting for us."

"We're glad to help out. Miss Donna and Miss Tara have our numbers, too, in case they want to check in. Is Miss Tara really a medical doctor?" Lily, asked, wearing yellow.

"Yes," said Jax. "She's a neonatal surgeon. In fact, she saved Abel's life when he was younger. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I'm considering pre-med. Think she'd talk to me about it?"

"I'm sure she would. You should set up something with her before you leave today. OK?"

"Yes. Thank you, Mr. Jax. Thank you, too, Mr. Opie," said Lily.

"Call us if you have any problems at all," said Opie.

The twins nodded and returned to Opie's room.

"You know, this is the first time anyone other than family or the MC has seen to their care," said Opie.

"I know," said Jax. "Just shows how insulated we have been."

"Yeah," said Opie, "I think that maybe that's something that ought to change. You think that, too?"

"I do," said Jax, "and I'm sure that Tara will see to it." _Without me, Jax thought, sadly_. "They seem like nice girls. Going to UCLA and TO's son graduating from there in May. That's what I want for Abel and Thomas."

Opie nodded. "Come on man – it's time. Got your cologne sample?" He checked to make sure he had his own.

"Yeah," said Jax.

"Then let's go. The tour bus will be here any minute."

Jax and Opie left the hotel room.

They cut quite the figures walking through the hotel. Women, including hotel staff, stopped whatever they were doing to stare. Jax noticed immediately but Opie was oblivious…

The Tasty Tour van drove up no sooner than they stepped outdoors. Opie called Donna's cell to come outside and that their transport was here and he and Jax stood on either side of the van door, holding their roses waiting anxiously for Tara and Donna.

The wait seemed to Jax like an eternity, but really wasn't long before he was met with the true vision that was Tara. He had never seen a woman more magnificent. Her long, thick, dark hair fell over her shoulders in loose curls and the front was cut in bangs that almost covered her brows, framing her face. Her red lips were parted in a bright smile.

She was wearing a green floral long sleeved fitted high low romper showing her curves. Its deep vee neck cut across the swell of her breasts and Jax was excited to see that she was braless. Floating in the breeze, the wispy high low overskirt was slit in front up to her waist, revealing the shorts underneath that bared her long legs almost to mid-thigh. On her feet were 4 - inch thin soled, narrow heeled stiletto heels, with 2 thin black straps, one across the base of Tara's toes and one across the center of her foot. Tara's stride was confident and sexy, her red toes inking at him him with her every step.

Jax fixated on Tara's heels as she walked toward him, so different they were from the chunky stripper shoes he was used to seeing. In fact, her entire outfit and the woman in it were breath taking and far outstripped anything he had ever seen on a croweater or a Diosa escort (and they were supposed to be high-class). When she was finally standing before him, Jax held out his hand and offered Tara the pink rose. She took it, put it to her nose daintily, looked into Jax's eyes, and murmured "Thank you, baby."

Jax kissed Tara's hand then cupped her face and kissed her lips hungrily. "I don't have the words to tell you how beautiful you look right now."

"You look pretty amazing yourself," she replied softly.

Tara had begun smiling as soon as she spied Jax standing at the tour bus. He was absolutely gorgeous. Yesterday, she thought that his hair and beard had been trimmed, but other…matters… took precedence. Now she could see that he absolutely had a trim and he was smiling back at her in the way that only he could.

Jax was wearing slim black slacks, black dress shoes (was he sockless?) and a black fitted crew neck sweater. He also wore a silver gray lightly patterned jacket. Jax's garments fit him as if they were _bespoke. _ The light silvery gray of his jacket brought out the beautiful blue of his eyes and he looked like one of models she had seen on the cover of men's fashion magazines. He had snapped up the jacket collar giving him a rakish sporty swagger that suited him brilliantly. She had never seen Jax dressed like this before and though she was saddened to think that she would not see him like this again, she continued to smile, determined to enjoy her time with him this evening.

Jax glanced at Opie who was having his own experience staring at Donna. She was wearing a fire red-orange off the shoulder long sleeved mini-dress and stilettos as well.

Glen, the tour guide and van driver was standing on the sidewalk. He waited patiently until the hugs, kisses, and mutual admiration subsided and then took several pictures of the couples which would be for sale at the end of the tour, he explained.

Donna, then Opie, boarded the tour bus and took seats. However, just before Tara boarded, she lowered her voice and spoke to Glen.

"Glen," she said. "I wanted to let you know that I am pregnant…"

"Say no more," said Glen. "Congratulations to you both! You'd be surprised how many pregnant couples we take on this tour. I'll be sure to let the winery hosts know. They, too, are prepared to provide a great experience to their pregnant visitors."

At the confused look on Jax's face, Tara explained that drinking could be harmful to unborn children. "Though some women choose to drink anyway," she said, "I choose not to, even in moderation."

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry," Jax said, mortified. "I didn't know. I really didn't…" _how would I know that? Jax thought._ Gemma had gone totally off the hard drinking, hard smoking and excessive weed rails once that he knew of…Lord knows what she was up to when she carried him and Thomas but somehow he doubted that pregnancy did anything to change her behaviors…

Tara put an index finger to his lips. "It's fine, baby. I am looking forward to a day out with my handsome husband and best friends. Thank you for doing this for us – somehow I know that you're the one planned everything. It was a thoughtful and loving thing to do."

Jax breathed a sigh of relief and Tara kissed him tenderly.

"Let's go," Tara said. "We are holding everyone up."

Jax and Tara boarded the bus and they seated themselves near Opie and Donna. Glen boarded also, and after a welcome and introduction to the tour, they were off.

**A/N: Greetings! I wrote and rewrote the next few chapters so many times. I probably have as much of this chapter edited out as appears here. Hope you enjoy...please review. SOA forever!**


	20. Chapter 20

D-Day, the Close

The date had been more wonderful than Jax and Tara could have imagined. Tara was now sitting in Jax's lap in the limo (the _limo_, no less!), her head on his shoulder and they were headed back to the hotel. A manila folder lay next to him, full of the many photos Glen took. It also contained a disc to which all the photos were saved. The vehicle was such a surprise when it pulled up at the last winery. She thought it was for one of the other couples there, but when the driver, whose name was Calvin, stood next to the car door with a sign that read Knowles – Winston, she was stunned and thought that the van would take them back to the hotel. Little did she know that her night was far from over. Indeed, their night was just beginning.

While Tara replayed the evening in her head just then, Jax checked his watch – it was a bit after 10. He searched for and found the limo's intercom.

"Calvin, can you drive us around for another 30 minutes? We don't need to be at the hotel until 10:45 and we're enjoying the scenery and the ride," Jax said.

_I'll bet you are_ Calvin thought. "Absolutely sir," he said.

Jax felt the car turn right as Tara snuggled closer in his arms. He glanced over at Opie. He and Donna were half reclined on the bench seat across from them, kissing passionately, whispering and giggling like high schoolers on prom night.

Tara's eyes were closed and every now and then she would smile an angelic smile.

She enjoyed the lunch they had. It was served under an elegant pergola at the first of three wineries they visited. She didn't go on the vineyard tour right after, though; 4 inch stilettos and soft dirt wouldn't have gone well together. So she and Jax waited in the wine tasting room alone. She giggled and blushed when she thought about the things they did to each other in their 30 minutes alone. She only hoped they didn't have cameras in there…_they probably did she thought._

All three wineries very professionally and discretely handled her no alcohol demand after Glen quietly informed them. Turns out they all had sparkling cider and flavored water products that they served her, so she felt very much included in the tasting experience. Tara paused her thought process and gave Jax a kiss on his cheek. After she did, he turned his face to hers for a more passionate smooch that he ended by nipping her bottom lip with his teeth, devilishly.

"Behave," Tara warned him, before resting her head on Jax's shoulder again.

She crossed her legs. Jax had one arm around her, and the other on her thigh. He began to run his hand up and down her leg, sensually, from her thigh to her knee, to her calf, and back, squeezing the soft flesh periodically. Tara closed her eyes again, exhaling deeply. Jax's hands were warm and surprisingly soft and she relished the feel of them. In this moment she felt to safe…so loved. Then she continued her review of the evening.

After the wine tasting tour came dinner. The food was delicious and the fact that they were joined by Tad "TO" Cross and his wife Marjorie? Like icing on a cake. Really, really nice people. Apparently, Tad was an associate that Jax and Opie knew from the MC. And to learn that his daughters were sitting the kids! Such a small world.

Tara thought about the Crosses – married for 24 years, Marjorie with a career as a high school principal, and 3 kids, Lily and Rose, and a son graduating UCLA next spring. What stood out for her was when Tad shared the secret to their success.

"Two rules," he'd said. "Rule number 1, family first, always. Rule number 2, whatever the wife says she needs to progress the family, give it to her – no questions, no argument."

Marjorie went on to explain that it wasn't as easy as it sounded and recalled a time that she and the children lived away from Tad for almost a year. There were other separations too, but the duration was much shorter. They both accepted that any separations were temporary, regardless of the length. On the lighter side, Marj explained that she and Tad had date night every Tuesday, which is why they were at Wine and Roses this evening. They'd been having Tuesday date nights for 8 years! Marj said she remembered one date night where she and Tad sat in their car in the garage for several hours, talking and listening to the radio when the children were younger, the baby monitor sitting on the dashboard.

Family first – in all things! Tara thought. She wished that she and Jax had had a chance to get to that place and wondered if Jax had any thoughts about what Tad and Marj had shared. She remembered when he told her one time that the club was the one thing he would do anything to protect, but this was before Abel was taken. She wondered if he still felt the same way. Any other time she would have asked, but she sighed, seeing no point in asking it now.

Tara smiled again, thinking about how their evening with the Crosses ended. Jax had invited the couple to the Beer Cellar, and they gave each other these sheepish looks.

"Any other time we might," said Tad finally, "But we will have the house to ourselves for about 3 hours and we intend to take full advantage of it."

"Is this what it comes to?" asked Opie, wrinkling his brows.

"I ain't gonna lie to you brother," Tad responded. "Yes."

"It's not that bad," said Marj.

"Yes, it is," mouthed Tad, nodding his head, just before he and Marjorie left to enjoy the rest of their evening...

The Lodi sheriff also stopped briefly by their table. He and his wife were joining the in-laws for dinner, but wanted to stop by and say hello. Apparently, he and Jax spoke earlier in the week.

Tara smiled again. Before Tara's thoughts drifted to their last stop before the limo ride home, she thought about a future that would have had her and Jax rushing home to make love while the kids were out, a thought that she found somehow comforting.

Finally, The Beer Cellar. Apparently, someone named Michaels set up VIP treatment for them not only at the Cellar but on other legs of their journey as well. They sat behind a velvet rope in a raised area that allowed them to see the dance floor. Groupies, male and female were hanging outside of the roped area hoping to be invited in. She noticed that Jax appeared to be completely unfazed by any of this which surprised her greatly. This was absolutely his type of scene…but he not only never left her side, but never took his attention from her for even a millisecond. Tara thought back to the time when he had left her on his bike to see LuAnn but when she went inside the building there he was sitting there comfortably with his arm around "just business" Ima. But she did not want the thought of Ima to dampen her evening, so she pushed those troubling thoughts aside while snuggling closer to Jax's heart…

Then she thought about when she and Donna were returning from the restroom. She had stopped on the dance floor and was dancing in front of Jax, swaying to the music. She turned her back to him, and bent her knees, twisting her hips and shaking her butt at him hoping he would join her on the dance floor. She remembered feeling strong hands grip her waist and dance close. So she closed her eyes, stood straight up and reached behind her to put her hands in his hair, only the hair that she felt was cropped short. She pulled out of the grip and saw a man who was not Jax standing there grinning.

Before she could react, she saw a ringed hand grip the guy's shoulder, firmly. Jax asked to cut in, but the guy ignored him and stepped toward Tara to resume his dance. Jax's eyes were ice cold and his voice low when he said, "You really don't want to do that, friend, trust me." The guy looked at Jax for a moment or two and took off. But just that quickly Jax graced her with a megawatt smile and they danced together for the next 20-30 minutes.

She was at first surprised that he was jealous especially given his escapades, but then she remembered the old adage – something about dishing it out but not being able to take it. _Classic_…she thought.

_Jax - Jackson._ Tara thought. She was so proud of him, proud to be with him this day. His manners were impeccable and no one would have guessed in a million years that today was his first ever wine tasting and fine dining experience. At dinner, he was engaging, warm, funny and friendly. He'd never been much of a dancer but he pulled that one off like a champ as well. Beautifully dressed in a style that complimented his personality he was easily among the best looking best dressed of any of the men everywhere they went. The ladies certainly appeared to appreciate him…but for once, she had no worries about his conduct.

Holding, stroking, and snuggling with Tara, Jax was having daydreams of his own. After he asked Calvin to extend their drive, Jax had hoped to focus on the beauty that was his arms. He did, but his thoughts were divided. On the one hand, Jax enjoyed everything about the day, from getting dressed, to the wine tastings, to the dinner and the surprise of meeting not only TO and his wife there but also the sheriff and his wife, straight through dancing at the Beer Cellar.

On the other hand, he was jealous of Opie and Donna, for having an extended great night ahead of them, and indeed, a great life together also, though he knew they had their rough patches. But they held it together, just like TO and Marjorie.

But he, the great Jax Teller, hadn't been able to hold shit together when it came to Tara and his family. Further, thoughts of Wednesday at 2 p.m. would burst through periodically, the day and time when the love of his life was leaving with his children for places unknown to him. Every one minute movement of the clock meant one minute less time that he would have with them.

He was struggling - struggling to stay in the moment with Tara but steadily losing the fight. He prayed for the words to make her stay, to make her trust and believe in him just one more time. That's all he needed, one more chance and she'd see how different it would be. Wasn't today proof? Weren't these past days proof?

He thought again about TO and Marj. How they'd managed to have a successful marriage and family. Family first…always. Listen to your wife, TO explained. When was family first with him? He thought about the night he killed Kohn. Tara was absolutely first that night. He stood down both Tig and his mother that morning and he thought about how good he felt, supporting Tara in spite of club demands. When was she ever first after that? He couldn't think of a time…except for now, when it was ostensibly too late.

What did she ever request of him? No other women (request denied), no secrets (request denied), no broken promises (request denied), come away with me (request denied), let me go away (request denied). _Until now..._

Tara chose this very moment to cup his one cheek, kiss the other cheek, and nestle closer. She reached for the envelope and the two of them looked at all the pictures one more time under the soft glow of a dimmed interior light.

The ride was completed all too quickly and the couples left the car. Jax, with photos in hand, took care of the driver and passed payment for the sitters to Opie with a request for him to see them safely to their car. He also wanted Opie to make certain that the girls called TO that they were on their way, and that TO phone him when they arrived home, feeling completely responsible for them.

Jax and Tara walked hand in hand in silence to their room, which was empty, since Abel and Thomas were spending the night with Opie and Donna. Tara opened the door and Jax shut it quietly behind them. As soon as it shut Tara walked into Jax's arms.

"Thank you so much for today," she whispered. "It was beautiful. These past few days have been so special and I will treasure them, always."

Jax nodded and smiled sweetly. _I should have given you more of these _he thought.

Tara kissed him again then released him, playing over the conversation she had with Donna. She backed away from Jax and unzipped her dress, wiggling out of it until it fell to the floor. When it did, she was left wearing a pale green lace thong that tied at her hips with a dainty satin bow. The panties triangle of material barely covered her mons.

"I'm going to have a shower," she announced. "You're welcome to join me."

Tara turned and walked toward the bedroom, her hips twisting seductively, ever more so because of the stilettos. She looked over her shoulder at Jax who was riveted to his spot, eyes glued to Tara's butt. When Tara swept her hair over 1 shoulder and rounded the corner to the bath, Jax began removing his clothes, tearing into the bedroom. By this time he heard the shower water running and he entered the bathroom.

He stepped into the enclosure behind Tara and placed his hands at her waist gently. Her hair was up and she had already begun soaping herself. "Wasn't sure that you were going to join me," she said.

"I was," stated Jax. "It just took me a minute to recover from the sight of you in all your naked glory."

"Not quite naked," she said.

"But naked enough," Jax retorted. "You take my breath away, Tara Grace," Jax whispered, standing closer and planting a kiss on Tara's soapy shoulder. She stepped under the spray and turned to face Jax.

"Let me bathe you," she said, and she moved Jax to the front of the shower stall. Hot water ran down his body from the rainfall setting of the shower jets, soothing and arousing him at the same time. His hands were pressed against the wall, legs spread wide. Jax bent his head, allowing the hot water to run over his neck and shoulders.

Suddenly, he felt Tara's soapy hands on his body, warm, wet, and sure. She rubbed his shoulders near his neck, pressing with her thumbs. Jax closed his eyes, reveling in her touch. She rubbed his back and sides, alternating gentle circular motions, long up and down strokes, with pressure applied through her fingertips.

Tara then pressed herself firmly against Jax's back, and rubbed his chest from behind, her arms circling his chest. He rested one of his hands on hers in a silent plea for her to continue. By this time, contented moans escaped his lips. He was so engrossed in the feel of Tara's hands on him that he totally lost track of time.

Tara's hands…he always loved her hands. A healer's hands…the hands of someone who beat back pain and death and fostered life. Jax recalled when Tara dressed his wound after Kohn stabbed him with barber's scissors. He'd proclaimed it was nothing but she insisted. Her touch was gentle but firm and practiced as she cleaned and dressed the puncture wound, finishing with a shot of something. The whole thing took no more than 15 minutes but he was so turned on, sitting there in his skivvies with his jeans pulled down to his ankles. He was praying that his oversized shirt hid his raging hard on. If she saw it, she didn't comment, nor did she stop her work.

Jax felt the loss of Tara's hands on him. But they were replaced by the roughness of a soapy washcloth, scrubbing his back, his butt, then the back of his arms, and legs. When she finished, she turned him to face her. Soaping the washcloth again, she scrubbed his chest, and the front of his arms, and legs. She commanded that he lift one leg then the other which he did, obediently, each movement followed by a thorough scrubbing of his feet.

Tara turned him to face the shower wall again. Opened the small bottle of hotel shampoo and squeezed a generous dollop into her palm. She rubbed her palms together then ran her hands over Jax's hair. She began to scratch at his scalp with her fingertips and nails, distributing the shampoo generously throughout his hair.

She always loved Jax's hair. It was so full of body – its natural highlights the stuff that women paid hundreds of dollars and spent countless hours to obtain. As she scratched at his scalp, Jax began to purr like a contented puppy and she loved the sound. The fresh scent of the shampoo tickled her nostrils then she rinsed the golden locks thoroughly. Jax looked over his shoulder at his beloved and murmured "Thank you," low in his throat.

Once his hair was thoroughly rinsed, Tara soaped her hands again, and circled her arms around Jax again, but this time she slipped her hands down his sides to his groin. She gripped and soaped his cock, already erect and bobbing. She began to stroke him, firmly, squeezing, with both hands, up and down his shaft. She then cupped his balls with one hand, gently squeezing them, tickling them with her fingers, pulling gently at his sparse pubic hair, all while continuing to squeeze and stroke his member. Jax sucked his teeth, hissing, his hips circling and thrusting. He reached behind Tara and palmed her butt cheek, hard. He then slid his hand between her legs and began to massage her clit in the motion and with the pressure that he knew adored. She leaned into his hand for a moment, her hips rocking back and forth. But then she stepped away from his hand while continuing to stroke him. After a moment she pressed herself flat against his back again and pressed open mouthed kisses on his back, tasting the clean water droplets that rested there.

Jax turned to face her. She ran her hands over his chest, fingering the Abel tattoo he wore over his heart. She raked her nails over his nipples, garnering a low groan from Jax and she gripped his rigid member again, stroking him, but harder and faster this time. She watched him, observing the flush beginning at his neck. She saw his mouth open in ecstasy, his eyes hooding, and he leaned in, pressing hot wet kisses at the crook of Tara's neck.

She pushed him back against the shower wall roughly and Jax growled. With the water jets beating against him mercilessly, and Tara gripping, squeezing and tugging his cock, Jax began to moan louder, his hips pumping, his hands splaying open then clenching against the orgasm that he couldn't stop from rising.

"Tara", he groaned, "Tara, please," and just that quickly she was transported to another time she heard her name on his lips, uttered low.

She exhaled but continued her work until she felt him first pulsate in her hands, then spurt copious streams of come. Jax's panted loudly, his hips bucking wildly, groaning with extreme satisfaction, coming so hard that his knees were weak leaving him to feel as if he were going to collapse. Tara watched his stomach and ab muscles rippling at the sensations she was causing and she continued to tug and squeeze him until she felt him softening in her hand.

Jax reached for Tara and pulled her in for a sensuous and lengthy kiss. He poured every bit of love and longing he had for Tara into the kiss, but when he ended it to look into her eyes, hoping to see permission to take this further, what he saw was that she had gone back to that place of trauma, hurt and pain that he'd created for her. Now he knew without a doubt that the kind of wounds he'd inflicted needed more than a week to heal.

Jax stepped back under the shower, rinsing himself off then stepped out, tying a bath towel around his waist. He reached for another towel, and slowly dried Tara, grateful that she allowed him this. He rested his hand on Tara's belly, sending a silent message of love to his child that was growing there then led Tara to the bedroom. He stood her on one side of the bed, held her by her upper arms and planted a loving kiss on her lips.

"I love you, Tara Grace, so very much."

Tara dropped her head to Jax's chest and he could feel her body trembling as she quietly sobbed. He thought she was sobbing in anger and pain; but he didn't know that there was a healthy dose of frustration in there as well - frustration because she wanted him so desperately, but couldn't fight through the pain. Jax held her tightly until she stilled then he released her and pulled back the bedcovers. Tara removed her towel and climbed in, resting on her side, her back to Jax. Jax walked around to the other side of the bed, removed his towel and climbed in as well. He crawled over to Tara and spooned her, tenderly drawing small circles on her belly. Jax held fast to the love of his life until they both dropped off to a tortured blessed sleep…

**A/N: Hey! Are you guys still reading? Let me know. SOA forever! I'm still binge watching. Does anyone else hate Trinity? I couldn't stand that broad. Please review. SOA forever!**


	21. Chapter 21

Wednesday

The bed was empty by the time Tara awakened. She listened but heard nothing except the tv in the living room. She got up, found her robe and walked in, finding Jax, fully dressed, watching the morning news.

"Good morning beautiful. Did you sleep well?"

"I did. Why didn't you wake me?"

"It's only 8:30. Donna and Opie are having the hotel's continental breakfast with the kids. You are packed already, except for a few things and there's plenty of time. I'll be driving you to the Stockton Airport. We'll leave at 11."

"No Jax. I'll take the hotel shuttle. I've already arranged it," Tara argued.

"No. I am seeing you to the airport, Tara. At least allow me that. Please. Why don't you want me to take you?" He asked.

_Because I am afraid that I might not get on the plane if you go with me, her soul screamed._

Tara sighed deeply and gave in with an almost imperceptible nod.

"You should eat something," said a concerned Jax. "Do you want me to bring you something from the breakfast bar?"

"No," Tara said, walking over to Jax and touching his chest. "I'll throw on something and go out there myself, but thank you."

"Good. Listen, I have to go out for an hour or so, but I'll be back in plenty of time to take you, OK?'

"Yes."

Jax stood, kissed Tara, and left the room. He met everyone else in the lobby area where breakfast was being served.

"Good morning, monsters!" he called out.

"Dad!" Abel said, running to Jax.

"Did you guys have fun yesterday?" the happy yet sad Papa asked.

"Yes."

"Are you excited bout your plane ride today?"

"Yeah – the big plane," Abel said, holding his arms out wide.

"That's right. Listen, Aunt Donna and I are going out for a little while but I'll be back to take you and Mommy to the airport. OK?"

"OK – Daddy."

"Ready, Donna?"

She stood and said, "Let's go."

Once she and Jax were in the SUV, Donna suggested they go to Electronic City, the largest dealer in the three counties. She figured they'd have the best variety and prices. The company she worked for bought much of their electronics from there.

Once at the store, Jax hanged back and let Donna do her thing. She selected for him an IBM Thinkpad, a headset with a microphone, a computer camera, the latest version of Microsoft Office, an inkjet printer, ink cartridges, printer paper, computer disks and jewel cases. Jax wanted a new phone, so Donna suggested a Blackberry. He bought two and activated one immediately. Jax also bought 4 prepaids, 2 of which he activated and phone cards.

Jax told Donna that he wanted to send and receive pictures easily. She suggested an Ipod for that. When Jax learned how it worked he was amazed, Juice handled all the tech for the club so Jax had no idea of the capability of computers, phones, and the like. But with Donna's help, he intended to rectify this. So he bought 3 Ipods, one being a gift for Donna.

The sales person happily bagged up all the merchandise and Jax asked for one of the IPods to be packed separately, with another bag for one of the Blackberries, an Ipod, the prepaids and phone cards. As they were leaving the store, he gave IPod only bag to Donna.

"For you," he said. "Thanks for taking time out today."

She hugged Jax's neck.

"No. Thank you for this week, date night, and the extra days. I can't tell you how much good this getaway has done for all of us. I'm with Marj on how important time like this is."

Jax smiled. "You and Opie have something special going on and I want you to keep it going, even past Tad's and Marj's 24 years."

"You and Tara have something special, too, Jax," Donna reminded him.

"You mean had, don't you? Until I ruined it."

Donna shook her head. "You inflicted the kind of pain on her that no wife should have to endure, and I am angry that you could do something like that to the woman you love, to my friend. She was heartbroken after Ima. You didn't see her, trying to work and hold it together, all the while pregnant and alone, carrying your baby.

"Abel was her son, too, you know, and she was hurting. What do you do, screw Ima then leave the country. What did you tell Tara? You don't have to leave "yet" when you saw her packing? Apologizing for the morning she saw you, but not the night you spent fucking Ima. I could rip your head off for her, Jackson!

"No comfort, no reassurance, not even a word from you – nothing but passive aggression and attacks. But she bore it. Then came Salazar. Then attempts on her life, she almost loses her medical license and almost goes to prison for you, and what does she get as thanks for all of it, a whore your mother's age. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even think realize what you're doing before you do it?

"I know that you love Tara, and I know that she loves you, but she deserves so much better. Frankly, though part of me hopes you two get things worked out, the bigger part of me hopes she gets on that plane today so that she can find herself again, Jax. It'll be hard on you, I'm sure, but as angry as I am, and as disappointed in you we both are, you are still Opie's and my friend and brother and we love you. We will do everything we can to help you get through whatever is coming your way."

Donna paused and studied Jax for signs of his reaction but Jax remained silent.

After a few moments she asked, "You want your Ipod back, Jax? Well, you're not getting it!"

Jax laughed.

"So then," Donna added, "Tell me you still love me, you big jackass, and let's back to the hotel."

"Yes, ma'am," Jax said, with a military salute. "I still love you and Opie's lucky to have you."

"Damn straight he is," replied Donna.

Once they reached the hotel parking lot, Donna called Opie to meet them and help carry the bags and boxes inside.

Jax made to lift a box but Donna said, "No, Jax. You get back to the room. Go be with your wife and children."

Jax nodded.

"Thanks, Donna, for everything. You know, I really do want my family, back," Jax confessed.

"Then you better damn well act like it," Donna responded.

The remaining hours went quickly. In addition to the suitcases, Tara would take Abel's stroller, leaving the portacrib, car seats, and all but one or two of their favorite toys. Her diaper bag was packed full and Tara traded the suitcases Nita packed for Abel and Thomas for a trunk with wheels that she purchased at Target. The trunk accommodated the extra diapers, baby food, and her new clothes and a few more of the boys' toys quite nicely.

Tara finally came out of the bedroom dressed for the trip. She checked her purse for the tickets, copies of the documents, tissues and the other woman/mother accoutrement. Jax was sitting in a chair in the living room, his feet crossed at the ankles. He was holding Thomas while Abel had crammed himself into the chair next to Jax.

"Be good boys and look out for your mother," he said to Abel.

Abel nodded yes with more resolve than anyone thought a 4 year old would have. "Will you watch your brother for a minute while I speak to your Mom?"

Jax laid Thomas on the couch and buffeted him with pillows while Abel kept a watchful eye on him. Then Jax took Tara's hand and led her back to the bedroom. Once inside Jax knelt in front of her.

"Tara, I am so sorry for everything I've done and said that hurt you. I can't enumerate all the wrongs, all the promises broken because you have a plane to catch."

Tara looked into Jax's eyes and she could see the truth in them.

"I love you, this baby, and the boys more than anything. Please believe me, I would do things so differently if I had the chance. I told you that I wouldn't press you to stay. But I have to ask – I can't let you go without my asking, begging. Please let me go with you. I will walk away from everything, all of it – today, and start over with you, wherever you're going. I can buy my ticket at the airport and get Opie to drive us. Please let me go with you. I don't want to be without you and my kids. I can't…"

"Jax, stand up."

He reluctantly did and Tara embraced him. Jax's beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears. She touched Jax's face tenderly.

"I love you too, Jackson, but as I've told you already love isn't enough. I want more than anything to be able to say yes to you, but I can't because I know how this goes. We've been there before. I told you before - you follow my lead, resent me for it, then hurt me with the next blonde the minute there's a problem. So no, Jax you can't come with me. I have to be the kind of mother our children deserve and I can't when I don't trust you. I can't live with the threat of chaos, confusion, and violence. I am doing this for them as much as I am doing it for myself. You know, in some ways I am doing this for you, too, giving you time and space to be a better man, a great man. It's time – we have to leave."

Opie, Donna and their children met Jax and Tara in the hallway, helping to carry all her things. Sam gave Abel his Parcheesi set and Jax made a mental note to replace it for him. Jax walked quickly over to the van, brought out several packages, and Donna handed him a bag from her place. By this time, Tara was seated inside the SUV and the boys were strapped in, having hugged and kissed Opie and Donna, April and Sam. The goodbyes completed, Jax pulled off and navigated the SUV onto the highway.

The ride to the Stockton Airport was a quiet one. Jax garnered curbside assistance for Tara and walked with them as far as security would allow.

Holding his packages, Jax first knelt to Abel.

"You promised to be a good boy. Remember that and remember that I love you, always." Jax reached into one of the bags.

"Here is a telephone – your telephone, that I am giving to your mother. You can call me as often and whenever she allows you to. Always ask her first. There is one phone number stored inside it, mine. OK?"

Jax was looking at Tara for her permission as he spoke to Abel. Tara nodded, took the phone and put it in her purse.

Then Jax handed her one of the bags.

"There are several burners in there for your use, as well, along with phone cards. I bought you a Blackberry, too. I don't know why – I just wanted you to have it. I also bought an Ipod. I am told you can take good pictures with it and send the pictures by email. Please send me pictures of you and the boys. I bought a laptop like I said and I'll give my email address to your lawyer to send to you."

"No," Tara said. "You can just give it to me yourself tonight when you call."

Jax nodded enthusiastically at the reminder of their agreement for him to call on Wednesdays and Sundays, thrilled that he wouldn't have to wait until Sunday to hear their voices. He then reached into his pocket.

"You said that letters are OK. Here's the first. And I know how much you enjoy reading. Here's something for you that I picked out special."

He handed her a small package wrapped with a pink ribbon.

Tara stepped into Jax's arms and they embraced like the star crossed lovers they were, a lone tear streaking down Tara's cheek. Neither one wanted to break their hold, neither one wanted to walk away. Thomas was crushed between them and Abel was holding onto his parents' legs, understanding but not completely that things in his little life were about to change in a monumental way.

"I love you, Tara Grace."

"I love you, too, Jackson Nathaniel."

Jax backed away slowly, not taking his eyes from his beloved family. He paused at the escalator for one final look, then stepped on. He dropped his head to his chest so that passersby wouldn't see his tears as the conveyance carried him away from his true life and soul.

**A/N: Tough to write. So sad, so sad. SOA forever!**


	22. Chapter 22

Loose Ends, New Beginnings – Part I

Jax arrived back at hotel, rummaged in the back of the van for a bag of his new clothing and walked slowly to his empty room. He entered and dropped his key card and car key on the kitchenette table and set the bag of clothing on the floor next to it. Then he heard a soft tap on the door. He opened it to a concerned Opie.

"Hey man, Tara get off alright? How are you doing?"

The mention of Tara's name sent Jax into a rapid downward spiral. He dropped to his knees, sobbing like a man who was truly lost to the world. Opie bent at the waist and held Jax tightly, patting his back and shoulders as Jax clung to him.

"She's gone man. My family is gone. I drove them away. What did I do? What will I do? I kept telling myself that they were leaving, even as things here were going so good. But in my heart I kept hoping that they'd come home with me…that at the last second she'd change her mind…" said a distraught Jax.

Opie felt sorry for his lifelong friend. The only other time he'd seen Jax like this was when Abel was taken. He prayed that his friend wouldn't reach that depth of despair, but Opie knew he was close.

"Come on man. Get up, get up." Opie helped Jax up from the floor but continued to hold him. "It's OK, man. It'll be alright. You'll get her back. You have a plan, remember? You have things to do to put things right. To make sure things are right for your wife and sons to be with you. You know she isn't safe with Gemma around and you need time to rid yourself of the stench of hookers. Get your head back in the game, bro."

Jax sniffed and allowed himself a small smile.

"I say something funny?" Opie asked.

"No – you just sounded like Clay there for a minute."

"Well say what you will," said Opie. "He wasn't wrong all the time."

"No, he wasn't," said Jax, who stood, sniffed again and wiped his eyes. He hugged Opie.

"Thanks, man. But listen, can Donna come over now? I'd like her to set up the computer over here - just plug it in and all. Then come back after dinner, help me set up an email account and help me search some records online.

"Sure man. I'll send her right over."

"Also," Jax continued, "I have a meeting in the morning with the lawyer who worked with Dad on the by-laws. I'll fill you in when I get back."

Jax walked over to the desk.

"Here are your copies of the by-laws and copies of the letters Dad wrote Maureen Ashby. You need to read all of this for Saturday church. You'll have copies in the van to be handed out to the members."

Shortly after, Donna and Opie came over with the boxes from the computer store except for the printer. Donna was also carrying a ham and cheese sandwich, which she handed to Jax, refusing to show him anything on the computer until he ate. He did.

She had Jax read the instructions on setting up the computer and then carry them out. He was set up and charging in no time. She then explained about the drives and had him load Microsoft Word from the disc he bought, explaining that he would use Word to write letters and memos. Jax was on a roll and wanted an email address before she left. They selected yahoo, Jax chose a username and password, and he was in business.

"Anything else I can do for you?" Donna asked. "We're hanging around here today, going to the pool. Join us for dinner?"

"No," Jax said, "but thank you for asking. I wouldn't be very good company, but if you could come over after dinner, I want to do some more things on the computer."

"Ok. Then. I'll see you at 6:30," said Donna.

As soon as the door closed, Jax kicked off his shoes and walked over to the couch. He made a call to Officer Stevens to alert him that he was staying in town one more day and that Opie and his family were staying until Saturday.

"I hope you aren't staying here to create mischief, son. We had an agreement," the concerned officer said.

"No trouble, sir. You have my word. I'm actually meeting a lawyer on a family matter in the morning. Leaving town soon after that. So I'll leave your bike cover and lock tomorrow afternoon."

"I want you to keep it, Jackson, as a reminder that there's a time and place for everything."

"Thank you, sir," Jax said sincerely, getting the Officer's drift. "My friends are just extending their vacation for a few more days. No mischief there either. So thanks again and please give my regards to your wife."

This bit of business handled, Jax next phoned TO to let him know the same thing.

"No problem, man," said TO. "We'll continue to keep an eye out. Me and Marj had a good time with you guys. She wants to do it again."

Jax extended his greetings to Marj, promised to set up a meet with TO once he was back in Charming. "But maybe Marj can get together with Donna before she leaves. I think Donna'd like that," suggested Jax. Jax gave Marj Donna's number then ended the call.

His tasks completed, Jax headed to the bedroom, alone in his sorrow at last. He peeled off his socks and laid down on the bed, crying fresh tears until he drifted off to sleep.

A while later, Jax awakened to a soft tap at his hotel room door.

He opened the door to Donna.

"Hi. We finished dinner early so I thought I'd come on over. I brought you a plate," Donna said.

Jax had no idea what time it was or how long he'd been asleep, but he responded, "I'm not really hungry but I'll eat later. I promise."

"Ok." Donna nodded. "Ready to get started?"

"Yes," said Jax, but give me a minute, please." He went into the bathroom and refreshed himself in a matter of minutes. He then reentered the living area and sat next to Donna. She showed him how to start up his computer, open and use email. Jax was a quick study and they soon moved into the research phase – looking up property records. He explained his concerns to Donna.

"Let's start with the corporation bureau first," she suggested. "See when company was formed."

"Start with Teller Automotive. Dad started it on his return from Vietnam," Jax said.

"Let's see – Teller Automotive LLC, formed November 1967."

"Is the company still in existence?" Jax asked.

According to this record, yes." She clicked on the entity number. "This says John Teller was the sole member, owning 100% of the company's shares," she added.

"Gemma wasn't listed?"

"No," said Donna.

"Now check Teller-Morrow," said Jax.

"Teller Morrow, Inc., was formed in August, 1993, by Gemma Teller and Clay Morrow. This is interesting," said Donna. "I thought Clay was your dad's partner at the beginning."

"Doesn't appear that way," Jax commented.

He thought back to the letters. _So Teller Morrow with Clay and Gemma was formed right around the time his dad wrote about them trying to kill him he thought._

"Let's do the property records next," said Donna.

She found the website but made Jax do the search. He saw when his dad bought the TM garage property, once again in his own name – no Gemma, no Clay. Donna pointed out that though JT had started Teller Automotive, he did not list the company as the business's owner.

"What does that mean?" asked Jax.

"Means that the business was probably leasing the property from JT and paying him rent for it."

"You can do that?" said a surprised Jax.

"Yep. It's very legal and it's very smart," she replied.

"I want to search one more address," Jax said, and he put in the address for Gemma's house, learning that JT purchased the property in his own name, once again, right after his return from Nam. The property was deeded to Gemma, less than 1 month after his dad's death. She was and remained the sole owner.

"Donna, is there any way to check for marriage licenses?"

"You're kidding, right?" asked Donna. "There's a way to check for everything."

She located the site and Jax typed in Gemma and Clay's names. There it was, their marriage license dated December 1, 1993. Jax erased that search and did a new one – John Teller and Gemma Hildebrand. His dad married Gemma in 1982, 4 years after Jax was born.

"Let me try something," Jax said. "I want to find a copy of my dad's death certificate."

He set up a search in the same way Donna had, located the state department in charge of those records, then searched under his dad's name. Jax already knew the date but this was about setting up an irrefutable timetable and history of Gemma's misdeeds on paper.

"I'd like to save all this and print copies as well."

Donna showed Jax how to save records on the computer and on disk. Jax was like a kid in a candy store and was excited by all he was learning.

"I could show you how to print from your computer, but we didn't set the printer up. So let's go to the hotel's business center. We can probably print from there."

"Good," said Jax. "Then I will have one more thing to do and we can call it a night."

Jax went to the bedroom and came back with Harry's business card. "We can use the business center to send an email from my account, right?"

"Yes," said Donna, and they left for the center.

Donna showed Jax how to insert the disk and print the copies. She copied two of the saved files, removed the disk, then had Jax start and finish saving the remaining files.

"Now," she said, "Let's see you open your account and compose the email the way I showed you."

Jax opened his account, clicked compose, typed in Harry's email address and wrote Harry an email providing his own email address and sending Harry copies of the records they researched. Jax reminded Harry about his meeting with Roger Mills on Thursday and about the phone conference Jax and Harry had scheduled for next Wednesday.

Jax read the email over. Satisfied, he pressed enter.

"All done, darlin'," Jax said. "Thanks for everything. You go on to your family. I'm leaving tomorrow, but I'll see you before go."

He hugged Donna and the two left for their respective rooms.

**A/N: Soooooo, Jax is finding out a few things about his Dad and Gemma. Wait until he meets Roger Mills in the next chapter!**

**I meant to add in my A/N last chapter that I set the story in about 2011-2012. Technology has changed so much. Back then, Blackberries and IPods were popular devices and the Iphone hadn't yet swept the marketplace. **

**I hope you are continuing to review. I love hearing from you – motivates me to keep going. SOA forever!**


	23. Chapter 23

New Life Taking Flight

Tara's flight to Houston lasted just over 3 hours. Abel was excited throughout and Thomas handled it well, sleeping at least half of the way. When they landed, Tara was last off the plane and the flight attendant had arranged assistance for her all the way to baggage claim and ground transportation. She also received assistance onto the hotel shuttle.

Jax knew that she was in Houston, but what he didn't know was that Tara had tickets for tomorrow to Chicago, where she would spend 10 days with dear friends, then leave there to Charlotte, NC, rent a car in Charlotte then drive two hours to Fayetteville, NC, where her job was waiting. Each leg of Tara's journey had a separate ticket, purchased in separate transactions; she was serious about not wanting anyone to know where she was. Of course, these days, anyone could be tracked, but Tara wasn't going to make it easier for "them" to do so.

She was really looking forward to Chicago, where they would be staying with her dear friends, Drs. Jason and Mya Hanson. They all met at Chicago Presbyterian as resident physicians and became fast friends immediately. Tara was Mya's maid of honor when she and Jason married. Now, the couple had two children Abel's and Thomas's ages and a beautiful home outside of Chicago, complete with a fenced in yard and pool. Mya made it clear that Tara was to rest while she and Jason would take care of the kids. Their nanny and housekeeper had already been alerted that there would be guests including 2 small children for two weeks. Tara smiled as she thought about Gemma – Gemma was upset enough about Nita to begin with, but eventually saw the value. But a housekeeper too? Gemma would have had a natural fit.

Tara realized she was physically and mentally exhausted and greatly appreciated the offer of respite so that she could go to Fayetteville refreshed. Mya was going to accompany her there and stay for two weeks, helping out with the kids while Tara found them a place to live, set up daycare and learned the lay of the land. That would leave Tara two weeks before she started on staff, part time.

Tara knew that her new employers were taking a big chance on her, especially being 2 months pregnant and having an injured hand, not to mention the SAMCRO baggage. But the hospital wanted her – needed someone on staff with her surgical skills. It would be refreshing to be able to concentrate on her children and rebuild her career. She was intent on repaying the hospital by doing an exemplary job. So as much as she had accomplished thus far, there was still a great deal to do.

For tonight, Tara decided on room service for dinner and made the call. While they waited, she turned on TV cartoons for the kids while she had a quick shower. The shower concluded, Tara reached into her small bag for her nightgown, and found a white reaper tee, stuffed there no doubt by Jax. She hugged the shirt, smiled broadly then donned it eagerly, along with her most comfortable pair of granny panties.

She joined Abel and Thomas in watching cartoons and it wasn't long before their food arrived. After they had eaten, Tara bathed the boys, put on their PJs, and they all cuddled into one bed. Tara had placed their packages and her purse nearby, and once everyone was settled in, she opened the package that was wrapped with the pink ribbon. Smiling, she gave Abel his book, helped Thomas flip the pages of his book, and teared up when she saw the baby's ABC's board book. Tara stroked her belly instinctively. _This child will be born under happier circumstances. _ She recalled Jax's request to be present for the birth then put the request out of her mind. _No need to decide today_ she thought.

Tara then looked at the four books Jax purchased for her: Love Poems by Pablo Neruda, Her., by Pierre Alex Jeanty, The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran, and sincerely, by f.s. yousaf. Tara opened the book titled Her., and began to read. She had completed several of the odes when her phone rang. It was Jax.

"Hi, babe," Jax said, as cheerfully as he could muster.

"Hey, yourself," Tara replied, warming at the sound of his voice.

"How was the trip? How are you feeling?" Jax asked.

"Tired, but hanging in. The trip was uneventful and Abel was in his element."

"Try and get some good rest this evening," Jax suggested. _I wish I could he thought._

"Yes, we are all already bathed and in for tonight, relaxing," Tara responded. _But good rest this far from you? Never, she thought._

"Are the boys awake?" Jax asked.

"Yes," Tara said, and put the phone to Thomas's ear.

Thomas said hi, then cooed and chirped excitedly for a bit before Abel snatched the phone, so anxious was he to tell his dad about the plane ride. Once Abel completed his story he quickly said goodbye.

"Goodbye son. I love you and I'll talk to you on Sunday," his father said.

Jax then heard Tara ask for the phone.

"Jax? Thank you so much for the IPod and everything, but especially for the books of poetry. You selected them yourself?"

"Yes," he answered. "I did. Went to a bookstore in Lodi, perused the poetry section and found those books. Have you read anything so far?"

"I read a couple from the Neruda text just before you called. The poems are in English and Spanish."

"I know. You mentioned wanting to learn Spanish at one time and I wanted to provide a little motivation. Of what you read so far, what's your favorite poem?"

"So far?" she asked.

"Yes, Jax replied."

"I'm really not sure yet – but ask me again on Sunday. Maybe you can tell me then what the poems were that caused you to select these particular books."

Jax smiled. "Deal." He made mental note to obtain and read copies of all the books before then.

"Jax, I will have to call you on Sunday. I'm ditching this phone and activating the Blackberry. Thank you for it. I think we should talk at 5 central time, – I'd hate to have you miss speaking with the boys because they're asleep. We lucked up tonight because they're still hyped up from the plane ride."

"Five is fine. I have a different number cell number, too," Jax revealed. "But I still have my old phone number, too, and you are free to use that if you prefer."

He gave her his Blackberry number along with his email address.

"Jax Teller with an email address!" Tara exclaimed. "I am proud of you."

"Yeah, darlin'," Jax said, allowing himself a satisfied grin. "I have taken my first baby steps on the information highway. I'm looking forward to the longer journey." _Straight to you he thought._

"Well good for you," Tara added, with an audible yawn.

"I'd better let you get your rest. If you need anything at all, anything, please call me or have your lawyer contact me. OK?"

"I will."

"Promise me…"

"I promise you, Jax."

"If you ever want to talk, you can call me anytime day or night. I love you Tara Grace. I miss you so very much already. There's this emptiness that surrounds me now…"

"I love and miss you too Jax. I'm sorry that we both have to go through this…Give my love to Opie and Donna and take of yourself. Until Sunday…"

"Goodnight," Jax said and ended the call.

Tara opened the IPod and set it to charge so that it would be ready to take photos in the morning. They had a noon flight that would take a little over 2 hours. She looked at Jax's letter to her that she'd placed on the nightstand but decided to read it once she arrived at her friends' place in Chicago. So Tara turned off the light, set the sleep timer on the TV, then burrowed under the covers with her children, Abel on one side, Thomas on the other. Tara was comforted somehow by Jax's reaper tee and she stroked it lovingly.

"Good night, my love," she whispered, her eyes full of unshed tears.

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and PMs! You really made my day. But for some reason when I tried to respond to the reviews, I got an error message from the site that said that the review to which I was replying could not be located. I don't know what's happening. Can anyone enlighten me on how to handle this?**

**The books of poetry mentioned are real and quite lovely, in my opinion, though I know that poetry is an acquired taste. I do not own the rights to those books or the individual odes therein.**

**After this chapter, we are back to Jax's mission. He's about to leave Lodi to head back to Charming. There are some exciting happenings coming up so please stick with me and keep those reviews coming. Know that I read and reread each and every one of them with humble gratitude. I love you guys! SOA forever!**


	24. Chapter 24

Seek and Ye Shall Find

Jax was wide awake at 4:00 am. He climbed out of bed naked, went into the bathroom, relieved himself, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and padded back to the bedroom. He retrieved his suitcase from the closet, threw it on the bed and began stuffing in all of the clothes Nita had packed for him, along with the things Tara purchased for him. Jax stepped into a pair of the sweat shorts and smiled that Tara cared enough for him to wash his things, too, while she washed hers and the kids'. He threw on his black reaper tee, stepped into his sneakers and headed off for the gym.

Jax worked out vigorously for an hour and a half, in a futile attempt to exorcist his demons and clear his head. But nightmare demons of his mother, Collette, Barosky, and SAMCRO, Jax's own life and future, and that of his wife and children kept pushing through.

When he finished in the gym, Jax picked up some toast, bacon, sausage, eggs, coffee and an orange from the hotel breakfast, and went back to his room. He allowed himself time to eat as he reviewed all that he needed to accomplish today in addition to his meeting with Roger Mills.

He had to make copies of the by-laws and letters to leave with Opie for Saturday and deliver bottles of wine gifts for Michaels, Sheriff Stevens, and TO. He needed to check to see if Donna could drive the SUV back to his house on Saturday (he'd decided to keep it for himself and would give payment for it to Tara's lawyer on Monday). He needed to phone Nita to ask her if she could come over Saturday at 1 pm to unpack his clothes, old and new and discuss having her stay on with him but as cook and house manager rather than babysitter. Jax also wanted to check out of the hotel – pay for his and Opie's rooms, transfer the remaining food from his fridge to Opie's, help Opie load the van with the suitcases, his kids' things, and the files. Deciding that he wanted to do as much of this as possible this morning, Jax got up once he finished breakfast and got started.

Still in his workout gear, he started carrying the kids' furniture and toys to the van. He drove the van to the entrance and grabbed a rolling luggage cart on his way back to the room. Once at the room, he loaded the electronics, his bag of new clothes he'd brought (minus today's outfit, a couple of pair of underwear, socks, a dress shirt, jeans, and a pair of dress shoes). He left the suitcase, needing to throw in his toiletries and his sweats, but wheeled everything else tthe van, loaded it, re-parked it, and returned the cart to its proper place.

On his way back to the hotel room, Jax paid for Tara's room, then for Opie's room through Saturday such that none of those charges would go on Tara's credit card. That left the food and he'd handle that after his meeting with attorney Mills.

Jax showered as soon as he arrived back in his room. He missed Tara and the children desperately but pushed on through his loneliness and grief. After the shower he stepped into a pair of his new boxer briefs, his new cuffed denim jeans, his customary white sneakers and a new fitted white tee and laid his navy fitted blazer on the bed. He returned to the bathroom and fingered the new gel through his hair, then dabbed on a bit of his Prada cologne. _If the fellas saw me doing this…_ Jax put on his watch, then packed his sweats. He would load the other clothing and his toiletries into the trunk of his Harley.

Jax went to the desk and removed the dreaded accordion folder. _Maybe not so dreaded anymore Jax thought._ He picked up the disk that contained his research and dropped that into one of the slots. Jax then put on the blazer, picked up one of the wine gift bags for Michaels, left his room, and exited the hotel, greeting the front desk staff again with a smile and a wave.

"Oh my God that man is fine," said Meredith, one of the staffers.

"He is," answered Nora, her colleague. "And his WIFE is beautiful and his children are adorable, too." She gave Meredith a warning stare.

"I was just stating the obvious," said a contrite Meredith.

Nora just rolled her eyes, knowing that Meredith would do more than state the obvious if she had the chance.

By this time, Jax was in the SUV and was pulling out of the hotel parking lot on his way to a 24 hour copy center. When he arrived, he asked the salesperson for 16 copies of the by-laws and letters, and two copies of the documents on the disk. The disk copies he needed right away but would come back for the other copies in 2 hours. He left his name and phone number. Ordinarily, Jax would have been hesitant to leave the precious paperwork but he knew that Harry had additional original certified copies, if needed. _So much confusion, violence, and mistrust in SAMCRO about written truths_ Jax thought. He put the copies of the disk paperwork into the folder and left for the diner.

Jax arrived at the diner at 7:45, hoping to get there before Mr. Mills. He explained to the attendant that he was waiting for someone, but before he could explain further she said, "You're here to see Mr. Mills?"

"Yes," Jax replied, and he was led to a booth in a secluded part of the place where a white haired distinguished looking gentleman in half glasses sat, reading a newspaper. He stood immediately when he saw Jax approaching with diner staff.

"Jackson," he said, extending his hand. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I hoped you'd call. I heard so much about you from your father."

"Mr. Mills," Jax nodded. "I might have called before but I only learned about the legal work you did for my father days ago. It was quite a surprise, learning that I knew so little of what my father had planned for SAMCRO and for me. I hope you can fill in the many blanks." Jax noticed that Mills had a banker's box sitting next to him.

"Please call me Roger, Jackson, and tell me about your affiliation with SAMCRO."

Just then the server came. Jax ordered coffee, and Roger ordered "the usual".

"I'm the current club president - have been for a year. I took over after Clay Morrow stepped down. Clay died about 6 months after I became president. It was a turbulent time…"

"Yes, SAMCRO has had quite a few of those." Roger sipped his coffee and speared a forkful of eggs.

"How did you come to do legal work for my father?"

"I've done legal work for your father's family for decades. That's why he called me."

Jax was confused. "My father's family? You mean he and Gemma?"

"No."

"I'm not aware of any other family other than Gemma's," said Jax.

"Then I'm doubly glad you called, Jackson. But I want to start at more recent events first."

**A/N: The plot thickens. Please review. SOA forever!**


	25. Chapter 25

Loose Ends, New Beginnings - Part II

"Jax, your father had two wills. The first one he prepared not long after you were born. In it, he provided for you, Gemma and any future offspring.

"Your father left several valuable assets at the time of his death. He owned the commercial property housing Teller Automotive. He owed the business, Teller Automotive, and he owned a residential property, his home. Both properties were owned free and clear and the business was successful.

"The commercial property was in his name only as was the business and the home. He was with Gemma but not married to her until a few years after you were born. Once he married Gemma, he did not change the ownership structure of any of his assets. But what he did do was take out life insurance policies, leaving Gemma with the monetary value of the assets at that time, which was $5 million dollars.

"When you were born, he took out a $1 million life insurance policy on himself with you as beneficiary, and another one when Thomas was born. When Thomas died, JT converted Thomas's policy to you. Your father was clear in his wishes; the property, the business, and the family home were to be left to you and Thomas. When Thomas died, you became your father's sole beneficiary. But you were a minor at his time of death, so the assets were to be held in trust for you and controlled by Gemma at your father's death until you were 21, as specified by his first will," explained Roger.

Jax asked, "Just curious - was there anything for a Maureen or Trinity Ashby, of Belfast, Ireland?'

"Yes, as a matter of fact. There was one $50,000 policy for both Maureen and Trinity. Gemma wasn't aware of this policy and it was outside of her control so the firm invested it. However, the firm was unable to locate them. I checked after you called and the account is now worth about $135,000. Do you have contact info for them?" Roger asked.

"I do and I'll send it to you once I get back to Charming.," said Jax.

"Good," said Roger, "but there's much more to this story that I need to share. Your father visited me a week before he died. He wanted Gemma removed immediately as trustee of the estate and my firm appointed as trustee for your inheritance. He explained that he had serious concerns for his life at the hands of Gemma and Clay. He believed that they had already made attempts on his life."

Roger paused for affect, staring at Jax to see how he was taking this news. Jax was stoic and remained so and he encouraged Roger to continue.

"Your father legally executed those documents in my office that day, but the papers were never filed for probate. I don't know how Gemma and Clay knew about the second will but they did." Roger paused again. "The day of JT's death, I was visited first at my office then at my home by Clay and Gemma. They threatened my life and removed and destroyed what they believed to be the only copy of the new will, but it wasn't. They also threatened me to remain quiet about the existence of the document and JT's wishes hence the visit to my home to reinforce that they knew about me and my family and could get to us."

_Classic SAMCRO intimidation Jax thought _

"So let me get this straight," Jax said. "My dad left me 2 properties and his business, and $2 million in life insurance. He appointed Gemma as trustee but wanted to remove her and appoint the firm."

Jax reached into his folder and brought out property records and organization documents. "I retrieved these yesterday. Look at the dates."

Roger studied the documents carefully.

"It looks like she treated your father's estate as if he died intestate or without a will, then transferred everything to herself and/or Clay," Roger noted.

"Is this legal?" questioned Jax.

"It is if there were no will. Gemma, as JT's wife would be his beneficiary. But there was a will and she knew of is existence. So Gemma carried out fraud, theft by conversion, and embezzlement, minimally. "

"Based on all this, do you think there's a case for the wrongful death of JT, too?" Jax inquired.

"It's the way they convicted OJ Simpson and they got him on less than I think you have on Gemma."

"I have Harry Williamson in Lodi looking into all this. But what we didn't know was whether my dad left a will. I emailed him the property and business documents last night and he's looking into estate law provisions back to when my dad died," said Jax.

"Smart," Roger said. "This might help."

Roger reached into the box and laid several blue backs on the table.

"These are signed affidavits attesting to what I have just shared with you. I will deal with the consequences of not reporting the threats by Gemma and Clay and not filing your Dad's will back when he died."

_Those were not threats thought Jax_, as Roger continued.

"There are two of those affidavits. There are also two original copies of your dad's 1st and 2nd wills. Have Harry give me a call and we can get the second will filed. I assume you would want everything executed as soon as possible?"

"Today, if you can," said Jax. "I'll pay extra. Also, I want Gemma barred from the business bank accounts and dealings immediately."

"In fact, let me call Harry now," Roger said. "You've got the element of surprise on your side and I want you to take full advantage of it. Gemma could do a lot of financial damage if she can get to those accounts before you can effectively bar her. Are you really ready for this fight, Jackson?"

"Hell yeah, Roger. It's long past due."

Jax skimmed through the blue backs while Roger made calls. On the one hand he couldn't believe that Gemma would rob him of his birthright the way she did, but on the other hand, outlaw life was what she aspired and clung to in order to build her own reputation and status. No one was exempt. _Even me apparently._

Gemma craved power and authority. Having a son who rose to the top of the outlaw food chain was her crowning glory after being the wife of two MC presidents. She would not risk her own personal trifecta by having had Jax go to college and become a doctor or lawyer or engineer or something.

Jax added Roger's blue backs to his folder.

Roger soon ended the call to Harry. "We will execute an order and have her served that will bar her from Teller-Morrow property and finances immediately, pending full investigation. You could also bar her from the home if you want. We'll get everything ready and you can let us know when to serve her."

"What do I owe you for this, Roger? You're retired and yet you're helping me…"

"You don't owe me anything, Jackson. In fact, I owe a great debt to your father's family. This is also my way of repaying you for not carrying out my fiduciary duty."

"And that's why?"

"Partially. The other reason is that I was very fond of your Dad. I hated what he was going through at the end and wished I could have done more to help him. The least I can do now is to help carry out your dad's wishes."

"One more thing," Jax said. "I definitely want Gemma barred, but I also want to give her an out if she acts fast, like 48 hours. And I need your recommendation on a strategy for this."

"What might that look like?" Roger asked.

"We go public with an arrest and to trial, and in addition to charges of embezzlement, fraud and other financial crimes, slap her with a wrongful death suit for the death of my father, which she will lose. Or she can deed me the house, TM, and all business property associated with it. I also want $5 million cash immediately as a penalty payment. She can keep her jewels, cars, and any other property she and Clay might own provided I get my cash. If she has defrauded SAMCRO, that will be handled separately by the SAMCRO MC. I also want to legally bar her from any and all contact with my wife and sons. She's a threat to them."

"What if she doesn't have the money?" asked Roger.

"She's got it, trust me. She and Clay were the king and queen of using other people's money. Give her 48 hours in case she needs to liquidate some things to get the cash. But she moves out of the home immediately."

"What if she refuses to sign?"

"She won't. Gemma wants to go out the queen and she can spin a narrative for the changes but if the real story goes public, her fall from grace will be absolute. She has no support in Charming, having run roughshod over its residents for decades, in spite of her so-called charitable works.

"Just so you know, I am sharing all this with the club. There are members that love Gemma and have some warped sense of allegiance to her and I do not want her left any SOA wiggle room to foment discord and lies. There is a peace in place in the MC community and I want it kept that way. Gemma is not above stirring that pot in a way that will manipulate all of us into acting like it's the MC wars of 92 if it suits her purposes.

"OK – we'll factor all this in," said Roger.

"But the main things are these," said Jax. "Gemma is a fighter, literally. She's smart, dangerous, resourceful, armed, a crack shot, and she's not above running. She also has a formidable ally in a retired police chief. Also, Gemma's got a safe in her home and safe deposit boxes in her name in Charming and who knows where else. Gemma needs to be guarded from the time she's served until the time I get my money and take ownership of my property. I do not want a lengthy court case on this and I definitely do want the cash."

"Well then Gemma needs to understand that the properties are already yours and that she can be arrested immediately for fraud concerning your estate. So it would behoove her to pay the money, sign everything over and go on with her life. I would be willing to be present when she's served to make sure she understands all the legal implications of refusing to comply with your demands," said Roger.

"Then I need the documents by Saturday. Plan to serve her at TM on Saturday at 4 p.m., tentatively. Hire private service but have the sheriff's department as back up. I cannot stress enough that Gemma needs to be guarded with security stuck to her like glue. She can't so much as go into a bathroom alone. I forgot to mention that Gemma has a new man. He and I have a good relationship but I don't know how this will impact it. I do want to alert him, but not at the risk of having Gemma tipped off."

"I'll call Harry and we'll plan on Saturday, but I will consider the strategy more carefully and call you tomorrow to confirm everything."

Jax nodded and checked his watch.

"Roger, I can't thank you enough for this morning. My father was lucky to have you as a confidante and an advisor. As much as I want to hear about Dad's family, I have more business to attend to here and then get back to Charming. I've been gone for a week now and the natives are restless. Here's my contact info."

Jax wrote down and passed over his Blackberry phone number, and his email address.

"Can I call you and schedule another meeting? I really want to know about Dad's family, and how Dad got the money and the backing to set all this up straight out of Nam."

Roger removed a card from his wallet and passed it to Jax.

"Call me any time. I would be honored to be a confidante and an advisor to you as well."

Both men stood and Roger grasped Jax's hand warmly. "You remind me so much of your Dad," he said. "He'd be proud of you."

Roger took another card from his wallet and wrote something on the back.

"Here's a name for you. Hang on to this."

Roger passed Jax the card and Jax read the name – Aegeus 'Zeus' Andreadis.

"Who is he?" Jax asked.

"Your cousin – your father's twin sister's son. Heads the Phalanx of Janus MC out of British Vancouver."

Jax was stunned into silence but he finally said, "I'll be in touch. Soon."

With that, Jax left the diner, and got into the SUV. He sat in the vehicle for almost 10 minutes to compose himself as his head was reeling from all he'd learned.

Finally, he started the vehicle and headed to the Men's Emporium. Once there Jax parked, entered the building, and spied Michaels dressing a display. Jax walked over to him, after nodding to the other sales staff, some busy, some standing around. It was relatively early so the place wasn't crowded.

"Hey Michaels."

"Jackson – how goes it?"

"It goes well."

"I see you are wearing one of your new outfits – looks good," said Michaels after giving Jax a critical once over.

"Thanks. But I'm going to feel strange wearing a blazer riding out of town on a Harley," said Jax.

Michaels laughed. "Hey – just keep repeating the mantra – bikers ride it with style. In fact, have a tee shirt printed with it on there. You'll be comfy in no time."

It was Jax's turn to laugh. "Listen, I just stopped by to thank you for all your help. Your contacts really put the date night over the top. And I brought you a little something from one of the wineries.".

He passed Michaels the wine package.

"Thank you, Jackson, but you didn't have to…"

"I know – it's just a small token of my appreciation. And I decided also that I'd like a few pair of biker riding boots to go with my new duds. Do you have anything that might suit?"

"Step into my parlor," Michaels said.

Michaels had Jax fitted with 4 pair in no time, including a pair or two that sported the Harley brand. Jax opted to wear a brown pair of the Harleys. Michaels also talked Jax into getting two pair of double monk strap leather shoes.

"Damn, you are good!" said Jax while paying for his purchases. "I still don't get why you're here, Michaels. If you could do anything in the world right now what would it be?"

"I would love to have my own men's fine retail store. Most of this and he fanned his arm out is all me and I get nothing for it except threats. Like I said, I'm looking for something else right now, anyway."

"Good to know," said Jax. "Keep me posted – I might have something to run past you in a month or so. OK?"

"Only if you promise to ride past here on your Harley. I know that is a sight to see."

"Deal," Jax said. "I pass here on my way to the highway anyhow." Jax furrowed his brows. "Do you by any chance know Sheriff Stevens and Tad Cross?"

"I do."

"Can I drop off some wine for them with you? You'll call them to pick up the packages today?" asked Jax.

"Certainly, no problem," said Michaels.

Jax paid for his boots and strode from the men's store, considering options for Michaels and himself.

He went back to the SUV to make his almost final stop, the copy center.

He went inside and his salesperson from the morning brought over a banker's box with the copies. He lifted the lid and showed Jax the contents and the originals which were placed in plastic on top of the papers inside the box.

"Thanks," said Jax. "But one more thing. Can you print some business cards? I need them now."

"Depends," said the salesperson. "Is it a simple card?"

"It is," replied Jax. "Just my name, a phone number and an email address."

"Color?"

"White, nice paper, like this," and he retrieved Roger's card and showed it to the salesperson.

"Oh sure – we can do this now for you, sir. How many cards do you need - 100, 250, 500?"

"Let's start with 250," Jax said. "I'll be back in about 30 minutes, but I'll pay for everything now."

Once the transaction was finished, he lifted the box of files and walked to the SUV. Once inside the car, Jax took the original copies and put them into the accordion folder. This accomplished, he left for the hotel. After putting his boots purchases into the van, he took the copies and the accordion folder and went immediately to Opie's room.

After greeting Donna and the kids warmly, he asked to speak with Opie, so the friends went to Jax's room.

"Alright, Ope, you're all set through Saturday. I spoke to Stevens, TO, and took care of the hotel. Here are the document copies. I'm entrusting them to you. Meet me at my place at noon on Saturday. Can Donna drive the SUV to my place?"

"Sure she can. It's all good, brother," said Opie. "We'll be at your place noon on Saturday."

"Did you read the by-laws and letters? Jax asked.

"That was some explosive shit," said Opie. "I can't believe how far we've strayed from the original vision."

"So you can see why I am giving out copies. I'm putting us back on track, Ope, and I need you and Piney with me. Much of what I do going forward is based in these by-laws. As I see it, it's not a matter of voting. The by-laws are the by-laws, period. Anybody who doesn't want to follow them can turn in their patch.

"This morning, you know that I met with the lawyer who worked on those by-laws for Dad. He apparently knew Dad's family and worked for them for decades. When Dad died, he left me the business, the house, the TM property and insurance money. Made a will that would have left control to a 3rd party in trust for me, since I was a minor, but he died within days of signing it. Gemma and Clay threatened the attorney and destroyed what they thought was the only copy, but was not. I have the lawyer's signed affidavit on that. I am bringing all this to the club, too, and taking Gemma down."

"Whew," Opie whispered. "How can I help?"

Jax paused. "Mind if I stay with you, Donna and the kids for a while? I'll try not to overstay my welcome. I'll just need a little time to get my head together. You know, Tara and the kids and all."

"Sure man, you can stay in one of the kid's rooms – they can bunk together. I'll clear it with Donna and we'll have it ready for you. Come when you want, stay as long as you need to."

"Thanks, man," Jax said and he and Opie hugged.

"I almost forgot. Do you know the Phalanx of Janus MC out of Vancouver?" asked Jax.

"Yeah," said Opie. "I've heard of them. They're some bad dudes."

"The lawyer told me that the dude that runs it is my father's twin sister's son, Zeus Andreadis."

"Your cousin? Your dad had a twin sister?"

"Apparently."

"I need to get going," said Jax. "There's juice, snacks, and some left over steaks and burgers in the fridge. Let's get it all over to your place. No point in throwing it away. But first, I just want to do a walk through."

Jax checked the drawers, closets, bathroom and desk to make sure nothing was left. Then he helped Opie take the food to their room. Jax said goodbye to Donna and the kids and told Donna he wanted to set up more computer lessons. He also told her Marj Cross might be calling her to arrange a get together before she and Opie left town and left her the SUV keys. Jax asked Opie to walk with him to the parking lot.

Jax then went back to his room. He picked up the wine packages, the accordion folder, and his few clothing items and his suitcase, then left the room for the final time. Once in the parking lot, he uncovered his Harley, put his suitcase and the cover in the van, using it to hide from view the things that were stored there. Jax then put the folder, his toiletries, and his few clothing items into his Harley trunk, opting to carry the wine in his hand.

"Man, I can't tell you how good it's going to feel to be back on my Dyna!" exclaimed Jax. "I am really looking forward to those few hours on the road."

"I'm jealous," said Opie. "What are you going to do when you get back?"

"Going to the clubhouse first. Check on things, say hi to the boys and all. Then head home."

"How's Tara?" Opie asked. "Have you talked to her?"

"She and the boys were fine when I spoke to them yesterday. I miss them, man. She said to give you and Donna her love. I will talk to her again on Sunday unless she calls me before. Call me later," Jax said.

"OK, my brother."

At that, Jax fired up his bike and took off to finish his last few errands before he left Lodi.

His first stop was to pick up his new business cards from the copy center. He put a few cards in the business card case and put the case in his wallet. The remaining cards he put in his trunk.

Second and final stop was back to the Emporium where he handed off the wine for TO and Officer Stevens. After stowing the bags under his counter, Michaels walked to the parking lot with Jax.

Jax didn't notice that the two of them were followed by several female sales staff but Michaels did. Michaels certainly knew that they weren't following him.

"Is that Prada he's wearing?" asked a blonde, sniffing the air in Jax's wake. "Smells delicious…fits him."

The staffers continued to the door positioning themselves where they could get a look outside while the two men approached Jax's bike.

"This is it? Your Harley?" Michaels asked.

"This is it," said Jax, proud of his baby. "It's a 2003 Dyna Glide Super Glide Sport. I have some custom features but the main thing is that it's agile and handles well on the road at speeds over 100."

"Wow. I don't know about any of that," said Michaels, "but I do know that this is a sexy beast if ever I saw one. Suits you well," said Michaels, "even in the blazer."

"Thanks, Michaels," Jax said and mounted the ride. "Stay in touch."

The two men shook hands, Jax put on his shades, his half helmet, started up his bike and took off toward the highway.

"Yup," Michaels said. "A sexy beast."

**A/N: So what do you think? Jax is a trust fund baby! Had Gemma been a different type of Mom, he could have realized his dream of getting away from being an outlaw. And what about this Zeus character? Remember when they thought Abel was in Canada? Hint hint. **

**Please review. SOAF!**


	26. Chapter 26

Let the Games Begin

Jax was relishing his ride back to Charming.

It was a beautiful day. The verdant greenery through the mountains along the highway were in rich contrast to the monotonous gray of the endless asphalt. Since it was late Thursday morning, there wasn't much traffic so Jax gradually increased his speed. He welcomed the feel of the vibration of the engine through his body and the headiness that came with the ability to control such raw power.

Alone, communing with the highway, Jax became lost in thought about Tara and his children. He would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about their safety. In spite of everything pointing to the contrary, he still felt that she needed him to keep them safe. But what he realized in that moment was that he needed them to keep him whole. His world was shattered – HE was shattered when they boarded that plane, and he had to rebuild both his world and himself brick by brick, but better this time, stronger, more enduring. It wouldn't be easy; there would be forces working against him at every turn. But he had learned better than to try to do everything alone. He tried that with Clay at great cost to himself, his family, his club. No, this time, he would marshal resources, old and new to pave the way toward becoming a better man and getting his family back.

It seemed like no time at all had passed before Jax was at the highway sign reading "Welcome to Charming". In no time after that he was pulling into the TM parking lot. He backed into his space, cut the engine, removed his kutte from the trunk and stowed his blazer.

Jax stood for a moment surveilling the surroundings. He was not pleased by what he saw. Looked like a frat house party on steroids in the parking lot. Men and women were streaming into and out of the club house raucously. There were crow eaters and porn stars in various states of undress sitting with members at the outside tables, hugging, kissing, drinking, smoking, and damn near screwing, and it was barely 1 p.m. There were some customers in the TM building, but damn few. Jax thought about how much business appeared to have fallen off the past few years. He could see why.

Of course, with the things the MC was involved in during that time, maintaining/building TM's business was the last thing on anyone's mind. In his own defense, he had never been involved in the business side of TM, that was strictly Clay and Gemma, but he vowed that that would change. Jax also thought about all the times the clubhouse was raided by various law enforcement authorities, invaded, and blown up. He knew then one of the steps that he would have to take.

As Jax stood by his beloved bike, he saw Gemma peek out of the office window. He was a little surprised that she was in since she and Nero had travelled to Vegas. They were due back today, so he figured they had caught an early flight. She came rushing out of the office toward him, gushing about how much she missed him, then scolding him in between kisses for not calling her. She ended her tirade by asking where he'd been.

"I just needed to get away for a few days to clear my head, but I'm back now. Better."

"Where's the bitch? And where are my boys?" she asked.

"What bitch would that be?" Jax asked innocently, knowing full well who Gemma was referring to.

"The bitch mother of my grandchildren," Gemma said, unable to stop herself from insulting Tara yet again.

Jax gave her a look that would melt steel. "She's not here – and you're not to go looking for her or creating problems for her in any way. The boys are with her. She needs a little time to clear her head, too."

Gemma knitted her brows. There was something different in Jax's demeanor and delivery that let her know she would be wise to obey him. But Gemma was not one to be deterred.

"We will talk about this later, Jackson," Gemma stated.

"Yes, we will," Jax responded.

"But for now," Gemma added, "I'm just glad you're back."

Collette chose this moment to come out of the office. She was smiling and swinging her hips, walking toward Jax.

Jax frowned. "What the fuck is she doing here? Where are Bobby and Chibs?" Jax demanded of Gemma.

"I invited her."

Collette attempted to take his hand like she usually did.

"Hello, handsome," she said, eyeing Jax as if she were starving and Jax were a gourmet meal. "Miss me? Ready for a little more Collette spice in your life?"

Jax pulled away from her. "Apparently you don't understand English," Jax spat. He grabbed her upper arm roughly and dragged her into the clubhouse.

"I want to know why this bitch is at TM and I want to know now. My orders were clear," Jax bellowed.

The room quieted immediately and then Bobby spoke up; the others stood like deer in headlights. "Gemma said it was OK since you weren't here. Collette stayed in the office with Gemma the whole time."

Gemma had just rushed into the club house.

"Gemma doesn't make the rules around here, I do. She doesn't run this club. I do. What I say goes," Jax yelled. He dropped Collette's arm and swiftly grasped her neck with one hand. He backed her up, double time, against the wall. Jax's eyes were wide with rage. Collette's eyes were wide with fear. Jax heard Gemma gasp and call his name.

"I'm going to say this one more time," said Jax, his voice so low that Collette could barely hear him. "Stay the fuck AWAY from here. Stay the fuck AWAY from me. I do not want to see you, hear you, hear of you, or smell you again. If I do, I will fucking kill you. No one and I mean no one," he looked at Gemma, "will be able to save you from me." He released Collette and punched the wall just over her head, hard, leaving a gaping hole. "Get the fuck out now and don't come back for any reason."

When Collette turned to walk away, she stumbled and fell. Everyone could see her trembling in fear as she struggled to stand. Bobby went to go help her up, but Jax's stare caused him to stop in his tracks. She was finally able to stand on her own and creep out. She gave Gemma a sheepish glance as she left the clubhouse and went to her car.

Jax turned to Gemma. "How dare you override my order and bring that bitch here."

"You weren't here Jackson and..."

"Whether I was here or not, I was clear that I did not want her ass anywhere but the whorehouse and Diosa. You stay the fuck out of club business. Stay the fuck out of my business. If I need anything from you I will ask for it. Get back to your office. Now." Jax turned his back on Gemma and walked away while Gemma looked around the room at her dismissal looking for support and sympathy.

"The next person that follows an order, a request, or a plea from Gemma without discussing it with me first will live to regret it," Jax announced.

"Yes, prez," collective voices responded.

"Church in 10 minutes," Jax announced.

Jax went to his dorm room, relieved himself, washed his face and hands and went into the chapel where he sat and waited for the members.

Bobby spoke after Jax left the room. "I feel change a-comin," he opined.

"Yeah," said Tig. "I wonder if it will be a good one."

"Guess we'll find out," said Bobby as he and the others filed into the chapel.

"You all know that Tara ran away from me. I don't know where she has finally gone, at her request because she worries about her own safety and the safety of my boys due to what she has experienced at my hands, my family's hands, and the hands of this MC that was supposed to be her family. I know you tried to find her and get her back when Salazar took her and for that I'm grateful. But you all stood by, watched me mistreat her, watch me vanish out of the lives of my kids, and watch me cheat on her in her face with women who were not worthy of shining her shoes. Not one of you, tried to put me right.

"Let me ask – show of hands - how many of you did she patch up? Almost everyone's hands went up. How many of you asked for visits or diagnoses for yourselves, friends, or family members? Hands went up. One of you gets hurt today, who are you calling? They looked at each other. Who among you think that I treated her right? Raise your hands. Juice and Tig raised their hands.

_Figures, Jax huffed._

"Why didn't any of you say something?"

Chibs said, "It was your private business. Wasn't up to us."

"How was it my private business when my actions with my wife have negatively affected this club? What the fuck is wrong with us? We no longer have a person among us today who did nothing but help us at every turn. Do you get it now?"

Bobby spoke. "I have been tapping LuAnn."

There was an audible gasp in the room.

"There's the prison clause, but Otto got to know which was what got one of those Rico things started. I rationalized it saying it was my business, but the whole club suffered for that and Otto almost died."

"I couldn't keep my dick in my pants," said Piney. "I was a boozer and womanizer and I ignored Mary and Opie. This club was on a different path, a path to be better than all this. But my base behavior and the behavior of others led us into countless wars and betrayals. Even with all that going on, I told myself that being an alcoholic and blatantly cheating on my wife was my personal business.

"This isn't personal business but a club business matter. This MC has asked Otto to do things that resulted in his 6 year sentence being slowly increased to 30 years and his parole being denied 3 times. He's lost his vision and his privileges. What are we doing for him? Not near enough. No one goes up to visit him unless we want another favor, which never turns out well for him. Do we get him protection or keep money on his books? Are we doing right by Otto?

There were several other confessions where "personal business" led to bad situations for the MC. Also a couple of club business scenarios.

"This shit stops today," said Jax. "We need to be accountable to each other, helping each other to stay on the high road. I want each of us, before we pull out the personal business label to stop and think about ways that the club and your family could be impacted by your personal business. We have a lot to atone for as individuals, as men, as SOA."

Piney and some members nodded in approval. Others did not.

"But the last thing on my agenda is Gemma. When Clay sat in this seat, he allowed Gemma to do what she wanted regarding club business. She initiated actions that led us to blood feuds internally and externally. She openly challenged my queen at every turn, which didn't help our relationship at all and was a contributing factor to the split. That, too, stops today. Until Tara returns, SAMCRO has no queen.

"If we have learned anything at all, it should be that Gemma is the absolute last person we should be listening to for guidance. She's helped us out of tough situations and I don't want to negate that, like when she helped me get Abel back from Belfast. But she was also a proponent and supporter of SAMCRO being in the gun business by supporting Clay's platform at all costs. Gemma is neither a member nor an old lady anymore. She's the woman who runs the office at TM and hosts fundraising events in the community under SAMCRO's name.

"She will no longer countermand my orders (he looked at Bobby). I know that she's tough to handle. If it comes to it, you will call me and I will handle it. But let me make this clear, when I give you an order I expect for you to carry it out. There's no Gemma exception.

"Bobby, how should you have handled the situation today when Collette showed up?"

"I should have escorted her off the premises. Period," Bobby replied.

"What if she refused?"

"No refusal – pick her up and carry her off if necessary," Bobby said.

"What if Gemma stepped in that it was OK – that Collette was her guest."

"I would remind her of your orders and escort Collette out. If Gem insisted I would tell her to take it up with you and escort Collette out," Bobby stated.

"Are there any questions?" Jax asked.

"Where's Opie?" someone asked.

"He's taking care of business for me. Ope'll be here for the meeting on Saturday," Jax replied.

Jax spent the remainder of the meeting hearing reports, all of which were good.

There were no other questions or issues so Jax tapped the gavel adjourning the meeting.

As soon as the meeting was over Chibs rushed up to Jax. "Fancy duds you got on there prez," he said. "The Harley boots are a nice touch."

The rest of the guys ooo-ed and aah-ed.

Jax stroked from his cheeks down to the bottom of his chin with his thumb and forefinger, while sporting the smirk of a male supermodel. "Yeah, I do look good don't I?" he said.

"Yeah, you do," said Chibs. "I want the name of your tailor."

"I was hoping someone would say that," said Jax. "Anybody else?"

Happy, Half Sack, Bobby, Tig, Phil, Juice, Koczik and Miles all raised their hands.

"I'll work it out," said Jax.

"Boss, we want to have a party tonight to welcome you back," said Half Sack.

"I'll be here, with bells on. But first, I am going to talk to Gemma then head on home but I'll see you later." Then Jax left the chapel and entered the TM office.

Gemma looked at Jax, stopped working, and stared at him hard. "Was that really necessary, Jackson?"

"Yeah, ma, it was. I ain't Clay; you cannot overrule me or sidestep my orders. I will not stand for it. Period. It's that simple. As soon as you realize that, the better we will get along. It's dangerous to me and threatens my authority to have the guys thinking they can do end runs around me to you. Half of them already think I haven't earned my place." Jax paused and kissed Gemma's cheek. "This is a new day Mom."

"I can see that Jackson and of course I'll help you anyway I can. In this case, I just thought that you could use some comfort since Tara's gone and you seemed to like Collette well enough."

_According to who, Jax thought. Collette? Juice? Tig? _

"Tara's not gone, my comfort isn't your problem and you misread my interest in Collette. I will say it once, Ma, stay out of it. And besides, if I had tried to throw pussy at Clay or Nero, you'd cut my balls off and wear them around your neck as a warning to others."

"You're right about that much, at least," Gemma said, smiling at that truth. She remembered hitting Cherry in the face with a skateboard for the violation of her and Clay's 'what happens in the road stays on the road policy'.

He kissed her cheek. "I love you Mom, but I am committed to leading this club my way, putting my own stamp on things. Regardless of what anyone thinks, I earned that right, by legacy, by brains and by blood."

Jax kissed Gemma's cheek again. "I'm headed home for a while. The boys are having a welcome home party for me tonight."

"Ok," Gemma said. "Then come on over for dinner first with me and Nero."

"Nah - I'll grab something on my way home. I want to rest for a while. Will you invite Nero for tonight?"

"OK."

"I'll see you later, Mom." Jax kissed her again and left for home.

**A/N: Half Sack lives and Jax is slowly leading the MC toward a reckoning. SOAF!**


	27. Chapter 27

House At Last?

Jax walked slowly into his house that was no longer a home because it was now devoid of love, laughter and light. He walked into Abel's room first, touched the furniture, looked into Abel's half empty closet and drawers. Jax smiled at the memories as he looked at Abel's hand drawn artwork and the pictures on his walls.

Then he walked into Thomas's room and did the same. He would have to remember to ask Tara if she wanted their wall pictures for their new rooms. If so he would send them. He reminded himself that they were far away from him, but he resolved that that was only temporary; meanwhile Jax decided to combine Abel's and Thomas's bedrooms for now and set up an office for himself in one of them. But he would wait a bit and settle into the new feel of the place.

Jax realized that he really was tired and decided to nap. But he had a few calls to make.

First. he called Nita and asked if she could come Saturday at 11 to unpack him. He explained also that he wanted to talk to her about a new arrangement.

Second, he called Elliot Oswald and requested a meeting for Wednesday. They agreed to meet at 10 am at Elliot's ranch.

Third, Jax called a locksmith. He requested that the locks be changed today and wanted a few cameras installed around the perimeter of his house today as well. Jax said that he would pay extra to make that happen today.

He also wanted a whole house comprehensive alarm system installed as soon as possible. The locksmith said he that he would change the locks and install cameras tonight. He would also do an assessment and give him an estimate tonight on an alarm system. If Jax approved, the locksmith could install that Friday morning. He would be at Jax's place tonight between 5 and 7.

Jax's fourth and final call was to Opie. Jax filled Opie in on the meeting at the clubhouse and his talk with his mother, and how much he enjoyed the ride home.

Opie reported that things were still calm in Lodi and that they were going to the lake on Friday. He said that Marj called Donna and that the two of them were going out for drinks.

When Opie mentioned Marj, Jax remembered to tell Opie that the guys were having a party for him tonight.

"I've got three words you," said Opie, "Pussy whipped corner."

"Yes sir," said Jax.

Opie continued. "Do not spend the night there. You get tired? You go home. Go back to the club house early Friday morning if you have to but go home tonight. You got it?"

"I got it – thanks, brother."

Business handled, Jax went into his bedroom, the precious space he'd been avoiding. He went to Tara's closet. All of her things were there, her white lab coats, jeans, slacks, blouses, jackets, shoes. Her medical and first aid kits. He softly touched every item in there.

Jax then closed the closet door and opened Tara's dresser drawers one at a time. He fingered her panties, bras, her many scrubs, socks, sweaters. He lifted a pair of her undies and gave them a good whiff before putting them in his own dresser drawer, noting that she apparently favored briefs although there were several pair of bikini underwear in there as well. He would ask her if she wanted any of clothing. If she did, he would box them and take them to her lawyer's office.

Jax wondered how she dressed when she was in Chicago. The things she wore in Charming were so different from the clothing she wore in Lodi. Jax thought about her Lodi outfits. He'd loved everything – the styles, the colors, the patterns, the materials, the bathing suits, the dresses, the shorts. The shoes.

The shoes! He'd really loved the date night 4 - inch stilettos that bared her polished fire engine red toenails. From the second he saw the shoes all he wanted to do was get Tara on her back naked except for those shoes, lift her impossibly long legs one at a time and kiss and lick slowly from her toes to her thighs and higher. His dick began to twitch as images of that fantasy danced in his head.

He sat on the side of the bed and looked at Tara's closet and dresser again. Jax huffed and considered how sad all of this was. It was as if she were plucked from her life with him and planted into a new one. Jax was saddened by the reality that she in fact was plucked out or thrown out of their life together – by him and his selfish hurtful actions. Accepting his fate for now, Jax toed off his shoes and crawled into their bed. He could still smell Tara's clean scent in the bedding and he drew some small comfort from that as he drifted off to sleep.

Hours later Jax was awakened by a frantic pounding on his door. He'd barely opened it when David Hale burst through, charged at him, and decked him roughly onto hallway floor.

"What the fuck did you do to her? Where is she? If you have hurt her I'll fucking kill you!" shouted Hale. He made to dive onto Jax, but Jax rolled out of reach and Hale landed on the floor with an "oof".

Jax got his bearings and began to scuffle on the floor with Hale. He was finally able to get on top of Hale and pin his arms.

"What the hell are you talking about you crazy son of a bitch?" Jax shouted back, his face within inches of Hale's.

"Tara! You bastard! Where is she?"

"Listen, Hale. Calm down. No need for anyone to get hurt here," reasoned Jax.

Jax released Hale and stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. He went into the living room and sat in the chair by the patio doors.

"Tara's not here. She left and I don't know to where," Jax said.

It was Hale's turn to mimic Jax's action, running his hands through his own hair as he paced restlessly.

"Well I don't fucking believe you. You had to have done something to her. She wouldn't just leave me like that, without a word."

"Leave you? Leave YOU? What do you mean?" Jax asked, his eyes starting to blaze.

Hale sighed and faced Jax full on. "Tara and I…became…closer...right after Abel was taken…"

"You what?!" asked Jax, not wanting to believe what he was hearing.

"What do you care 'I what'?" Hale snarled. "You told her you didn't want her anymore, said she wasn't your family, threw her out of your place…"

Jax leaped from his chair and crashed into Hale's midsection like a wild bull, tackling him to the floor in the middle of the living room. The two men struggled to their feet and immediately fell again, smashing through the wood and glass cocktail table.

"You slept with my woman?" Jax roared, hitting Hale with a hard right, then left.

Hale fell back a few steps, stepped forward then countered with punch to Jax's gut and an uppercut to his chin.

"She wasn't your woman anymore…you made that clear when you slept with your porn slut in front of Tara's friends. Then you left the damn country and never bothered to send her a word…Abel was her son, too. She didn't birth him but she was in that boy's life from the day he was born but you didn't give a shit about that either," Hale roared back. He had gripped the top of Jax's tee shirt in his hands and was shaking him. Then he pulled Jax closer to him and landed several solid shots to Jax's face. Jax fell to the floor and Hale delivered several swift kicks to Jax's ribs.

Jax grabbed Hale's foot as he was about to deliver another kick and twisted it, hard. Now off balance, it was now Hale's turn to hit the floor. Jax scrambled atop Hale and began pummeling him.

"…you slept with my woman," Jax bit out through gritted teeth.

The two men tussled and wrestled back and forth, locked in mortal combat, hurling insults and invectives at each other, all the while turning over furniture, breaking photos, lamps, and knick knacks.

Jax was so angry he had descended into blackout madness. He was straddled on his knees over a prone Hale, his hands locked in a vise grip around Hale's neck and he was squeezing with all his might. As Jax stared at Hale with a murderous glare and continued choking him, Hale clawed and hit weakly at Jax's arms and wrists, desperately gasping for air.

Somehow Jax came to his senses. He reluctantly released Hale, climbed off of him and sat on the floor next to him. Jax bowed his head in his hands while Hale was coughing and sputtering in an attempt to get more air into his lungs.

"I'll only say this once more, Hale. I didn't physically harm Tara. Apparently, she left us both. If you think I harmed her, charge me and prove it. Now get fuck out of my house before I kill you," Jax stated with a calm that he didn't feel.

After Hale left, Jax lay flat on the floor panting and sputtering himself, his entire body feeling as if it were on fire. The words 'Tara slept with Hale Tara slept with Hale' were playing on a continuous loop in his brain. Jax wanted a cigarette but he resisted the urge. He wanted to do something, to hurt something, anything, but what? Before this past week, he knew exactly what to do – go to the party tonight, grab the first crow eater he saw, take her to his room and fuck her 6 ways to Sunday, until the sweet oblivion allowed him a moment's rest. But now? He couldn't, he just…couldn't. And he didn't want to. So Jax lay there, his soul tortured. Hale slept with Tara! Touched what was his…

Jax continued to lie on the floor, aching, craving Tara, wanting his kids, needing an explanation, anything to feel better. He stood finally, screamed aloud, his fists clenched at his sides, and he began rampaging again, ripping pictures from the walls, tearing magazines, breaking ashtrays, tearing down blinds, kicking over plants.

Hale slept with Tara! He had his hands on her…he kissed her…he sucked her breasts…he felt her silky hair…tasted her sweet pussy…he was inside her. When did it start? How many times? Did Hale feel good to her? Did she come? More than once? Was Hale better than him? Where did they do it? In Jax's bed?! He'd burn that damn bed to a crisp with Hale in it!

Jax wanted to call Tara to demand an answer but he remembered his agreement. Wednesdays and Sundays. Jax didn't think he could wait until Sunday! He charged into the kitchen where he used his arm to sweep appliances, ceramics, and cutlery off the countertop and onto the floor. He had dumped the contents of several kitchen drawers into the floor as well and was starting on the cabinets when he heard yet another knock at the door. Jax tore into the living room, hoping Hale had returned for another round.

Instead it was the locksmith, Stan, who looked around the war torn remnants of Jax's living spaces. "Looks like you made the call a little too late," he commented.

"Better late than never," responded Jax, who led Stan on a guided tour of the house. Jax's heart was pounding but it was starting to slow down as Jax forced himself to take of business.

The locksmith quickly changed the locks to the front door, patio door, back door, and garage door. He also installed several temporary security cameras in the front and back of the house. He then did a more thorough walk through to prepare an estimate for a complete alarm system. Once the estimate was prepared, he and Jax sat at the kitchen table, reviewed the assessments and recommendations, then the cost.

Jax uttered 2 words after the entire presentation. "Do it."

Stan was excited and agreed to put in the new system the next day, before lunch. It would take about 4 hours and Jax agreed to be at home.

**A/N: Jax could dish it out but he couldn't take it, could he? SOAF!**


	28. Chapter 28

A Party for Some, Not All

Jax and Stan the locksmith shook hands and Jax took his new set of keys and went back to his misery. He had calmed down some but was still churning inside. He considered that this must have been how Tara felt but if he were being honest, her pain had to have been 10 times worse.

Why? One, because she didn't hear about Jax's cheating, she actually saw him, on two separate occasions with two different women, and in one case he was actually screwing the woman when she saw him. Two, because her betrayal took place in public among people she considered to be her family and friends. Therefore, Jax had no right to be angry, no right to be hurt, no right to be confused, no right to feel betrayed, no right to feel distrustful. Yet he felt all of these things and more down to the roots of his hair.

Jax checked his watch. It was almost 10 pm. _Party should be cranking up pretty good by now, Jax thought_. He revisited the idea of going to the party and nailing the first thing with a pulse, hard. But instead, he called Opie.

As soon as his friend answered the call, Jax blurted out, "Tara fucked Hale."

Opie wasted not a second before replying, "That's a lie. No, she didn't."

"How do you know?" asked Jax.

"Because she loves you and I know Tara. She did not fuck Hale, though Hale might have wanted her to."

"It was when I took off for Ireland, after Ima." Jax retorted, as if that were absolute proof.

"Doesn't matter," said Opie. "She didn't do it."

Jax sighed and asked to speak with Donna, wanting a woman's perspective as he had gotten nowhere with Opie, though he was unsure as to exactly what it was that he expected to hear.

"Hey Jax," said Donna. "What's up?'

"Tara slept with Hale while I was in Ireland.'

"No she didn't."

"Hale said she did."

"No he didn't." said Donna, her voice getting louder.

…_The fuck is wrong with those two? Jax wondered. _ "Hale was here at my house. He said it to me. He said he slept with Tara. Why would you say he didn't?"

"Because I have never known David to lie and I've known him as long as I have known you. Tara did not sleep with him. He couldn't have said that she did. What exactly did he say, Jax?"

Jax thought for a moment. "He said that he and Tara had grown closer and because of that she wouldn't leave Charming without telling him."

"Grown closer? Is that what he said?"

"Yes."

Donna burst out laughing. She went from a giggle, to a throaty laugh, to a guffaw, then Jax could hear her choking, she was laughing so hard.

But the harder and longer she laughed the more enraged Jax became.

'What's going on Donna? You'd better tell me something," Jax warned.

"OK, OK, Jax. You were not listening. Hale didn't say that he slept with Tara. He may not have denied sleeping with her, but he didn't say that he did either. He said they have grown closer. Jax, I think that you and I have grown closer, too, but we certainly haven't been sleeping together. Also, Tara is my best friend, and I never thought either that she would go away without telling me, but she did. Our time together this past week was an after - thought.

"Hale has loved Tara since high school. I think you know that. Didn't she seek his help with that ATF guy before the two of you got together? After you mistreated her, Hale might have seen her more often, spoken to her about more personal matters, but if 'grown closer' is all David said, then he didn't sleep with her.

"Do you know what I think? I think your guilt over how you treated her caused your imagination to run wild. I also think that it was easy for you to believe that Tara did the very thing that you would have done if the situation were completely reversed. And I'm worried, too, that your little conversation with Hale will cause you to fall back into old habits. I'd be real disappointed if that happened, Jax. Opie would be, too."

Jax shook his head at the sense and hypocrisy of it all. He looked at the carnage in his home. He had been so incensed at the idea of Tara with another man, that even what he believed to be the hint of sexual contact sent him on a seek and destroy mission ending with the destruction of his own house.

"Donna, thank you," said Jax. "You're right. I didn't listen to what Hale was saying, because of the guilt from my own actions. If anything, I should have asked him what he meant by 'become closer'. I am so sorry I bothered you all tonight."

Tara chuckled. "You did the right thing in calling us. That's what family is for. Call us again if you need to. And calm down." She handed the phone back to Opie.

"Listen here brother. You still going to that party tonight?" Opie asked.

"Yeah I am. I don't feel like it, but I told the guys I was coming."

"Be careful. Remember what I said about pussy whipped corner. You still want your family back?"

"More than anything."

"Then you know what to do. Call me tomorrow and I'll see you on Saturday. I love you, brother."

"You too Opie. Have a good night."

Jax exhaled sharply as a prelude to redirecting his thoughts. He began to mentally catalog all the broken items in his house which would need replacing or fixing. _Guess I'd better add myself to that list, he thought._ But he shook himself out of his reverie, went into the shower, then dressed. He put his new cuffed jeans back on but fished out his old navy sweater from his dresser drawer. He also donned a pair of white sneakers. He dabbed a little Prada behind his ears (after all, he was the guest of honor), put on his kutte and his watch and left.

Jax could hear the music bumping as soon as he entered the parking lot which was jammed with cars and motorcycles. He looked around and saw several couples fucking outside including on the sliding board in the playground area. At one time he would have found all this amusing but right now he was disgusted by it. But Jax put on his game face and entered the building to toasts and cheers of welcome. Someone brought him a drink and he headed over to pussy whipped corner. Nero was already seated there nursing a beer.

"Mano," Nero said, hugging Jax warmly. "Que paso?"

"I'm handling it," Jax replied.

"Yeah," Nero responded. "Sometimes that's all we can do."

Jax passed Nero an envelope. "Thanks for that Las Vegas thing. If this isn't sufficient to cover those expenses, let me know."

"Thanks," Nero said. "I'm sure it's fine."

The two men looked around the room at the revelry for a few moments.

Nero said, "You know both Collette and Gemma told me what happened today. I know it had to go down the way that it did."

Jax nodded. "But I want a longer term solution on Collette and Gemma both. I mean, Collette has turned straight stalker and Gemma? Well, she's Gemma."

"I get it," said Nero. "Maybe a buyout for Collette and an opportunity to set up somewhere else clean. Maybe involvement in a Diosa franchise in another area. But the fact that she's thrown in with Barosky and Gemma is very bad."

"I know," said Jax, "and I won't have it. That shit needs to be nipped in the bud immediately. I have big moves coming, Nero. And I won't tolerate them working at cross purposes to the MC's agenda."

Nero smiled.

"What?"

"I'm proud of you," Nero replied.

_I hope you continue to be thought Jax._

Jax was momentarily distracted by a fight breaking out among members on his left over by the pool table. Seconds later a fight broke out among crow eaters and or porn stars on the right. He recalled a time that he would have been entertained. Now however, he had a headache and just wanted to go home. He checked his watch – almost 12. He decided he would give it another 30 minutes or so then he was out.

Every now and then thoughts of Tara and Hale would creep in even though he was certain that they hadn't had sex. Jax breathed deeply – he was still as upset as he was when Hale made the "big reveal" and Jax was unable to find out details from Tara on her perspective until Sunday. Maybe he should tamp it down and let it go.

Damn he was such a hypocrite! Hale was right, he'd treated Tara like shit for weeks on end, kept telling her he was done, screwing Ima without explanation or apology right in Tara's face, then rolling out of the country for two weeks without any contact while he was gone. He remembered revealing to Tara about his flirtation with Trinity. Clearly, he would have fucked her if she hadn't been his sister.

Also, he had asked himself on many occasions what would have happened if Tara hadn't been pregnant with Thomas. Would he have tried to get her back? The answer was yes, without fail. Even now, knowing about Hale and how Hale felt about Tara, Jax still wanted her back, though he wanted to kill Hale.

At first he was angry when he was thinking that Hale had his hands and other body parts on Tara. Though he hated those thoughts, what was troubling him most now was that Tara didn't tell him that it happened, even as she pressed him for the reasons behind his own behavior, even as he confessed to almost cheating with Trinity. Why didn't she tell him? She could have told him! They both needed to put their cards on the table if they were to move forward. His resolve to get his family back remained unchanged though. If fact it was stronger than ever. If Hale thought for one minute that he could steal his family away, he had another thing coming! He'd see Hale in his grave first.

Jax took another sip of his drink to bring himself back in the moment and he lowered it just in time to see a tall blonde crow eater he didn't recognize slowly approaching. He sat up a little straighter in his chair and noticed that the din got a little less loud and that people were surreptitiously watching him.

"Are you Jax?" she asked, twirling her hair.

"I am darlin. And you are?"

"Julie, but my friends call me Jewels because my pussy is priceless."

At that, Nero started to grin.

"Um-hmm. I would imagine that it is. You enjoying yourself tonight?"

"Kinda, but I was hoping to enjoy myself a whole lot more and I was thinking that you are the man to see to it, your wife being gone and all. Thought you might be lookin' for a new old lady, too…" Jules reached out her hand, put it on Jax's knee and ran it up the inside of his thigh while she squeezed an ample breast with the other and sucked her teeth.

Jax nodded slightly, his eyes narrowing. "You thought all that on your own, did you?"

"Well, no, not all on my own. Ima told me about your wife."

"Ima," Jax repeated. "Is Ima here tonight?" Jax asked.

"No, she couldn't come."

"Know why?" he pressed.

"No."

"She's not here because I told her I'd kill her if she ever came back to this club house again, just before I broke her nose. Do you know why I did that? Because she disrespected my wife." Now it was Jax's turn to smile.

"So I'm going to do you a big favor, Julie. I do not want to help you or any other of your little friends in here to find enjoyment. Do not discuss my family and do not approach me with offers of comfort, drinks, food, or anything else. If I want anything, I will do the asking. Clear?"

"Y-Y-yes."

"You go on back to the party and have a nice night."

"Thank you." Julie scurried off.

Jax turned his head and saw Nero staring at him smirking. "What?" Jax asked.

"Nothing, Meho. Not a thing."

Jax now knew another thing that he would have to do and the two men went back to observing the club house happenings.

Unbeknownst to them, a black Cadillac SUV pulled into Jax's driveway. It's lone occupant, Gemma Teller, climbed out of the car and approached the front door. She put her key in the door and was surprised to see that the key didn't work. She went to the back, the patio, the garage. She even tried a few windows. Place was locked up tighter than a drum.

She had intended to get into Jax's place and try to find out what he had been up to for the last week. Of course, if she could have found a line on that bitch who stole her grandsons, that'd be icing on the cake. But it looked like she wasn't going to find out anything this night, but tomorrow was another day.

Gemma climbed into her car and drove home.

Right at that moment, Jax received a call from the alarm company, informing him that he'd had a visitor who had just tried to get into his house. They informed Jax of the make and model of the car, but before they started the physical description of the visitor, Jax said. "Thanks. I know who that was and I'll handle it from here."

When he ended the call Nero asked, "Everything OK?"

"Oh yes," said Jax. "Everything is just fine. Look man, I'm going to make the rounds here, then I'm out. I'm still kinda wiped."

"OK, then. I'll see you later."

Jax went over to hang with Bobby, Chibs, Half Sack, Happy, and Tig for a while before he called it a night. he'd learned that Koczik, Juice, Phil and Miles were all off somewhere with women. After some smutty speculation about what they were up to, the brothers had a few beers, told a few tales, and cracked a few jokes. Jax had to admit, he enjoyed the easy camaraderie among them, but once the crow eaters started flocking around them, he excused himself and headed home, pleased that none among them encouraged him to stay.

As he rode home, Jax realized that his fight with Hale provided him with an opportunity that he would take full advantage of first thing in the morning.

**A/N: Well folks, this is all I've written for now, so you must be patient to see what follows. After all, SOAF!**


	29. Chapter 29

The New Swing of Things

Jax was up early again this morning, 5 am. After washing himself up and dressing in sweats and a tee, he began thinking about how to spend his time until 8.

On mornings like this he knew he would especially miss Tara and he thought about how they'd spend the time. If they weren't making love, they would just lie there together, holding each other, talking, sharing hopes and dreams or just staring into each others' eyes, words of love unspoken yet visible.

On the day after Tara left Lodi, Jax spent the early morning in the hotel gym. Charming didn't have a gym per se, only Lumpy's and that wouldn't be open for several hours yet. So Jax did 250 pushups, 125 planks, each side, 250 pull ups on his door jamb, and 250 squats. Then he put on his watch, picked up his new keys, took a bottle of water from the fridge and took off for a run.

Jax ran through paved tree lined streets of small houses with neat yards. Then he ran on a road under repair but devoid of workers at this early hour. Then he ran through downtown Charming looking at each shop and store in turn. The market and the bakery were open and had customers. But there were quite a few vacant storefronts along the way as well. Jax continued his run until he found himself at the park by Charming Middle School, about 5 miles from his house. He was just beginning to experience that burn deep in his muscles. Also feeling a stitch in his side, Jax sat down in the grass and stretched, before taking a few healthy swigs of water, all the while taking deep breaths. He checked his watch, took him six and a half minutes. Not bad considering he wasn't running full out. Nonetheless he'd use that as a baseline and try to steadily improve his running time.

Sweat poured from Jax's body and slowly his heart rate and breathing returned to normal. As he sat, Jax watched as the sleepy suburb gradually came to life. He noticed newspaper deliveries, more cars on the street as people were leaving their homes and apartments for early shifts at the various plants, and the gradual swell of joggers and bicyclers at the park. A few shopkeepers were in - sweeping up sidewalks and accepting deliveries for the days' commerce. Jax smiled. He had never noticed Charming as it rose in the morning, nor had he noticed when it quieted at night for that matter. He'd have to do an evening run to compare.

This led Jax to wonder if there were a way to combine progress yet at the same time keep the small town feel of the place. Could Charming have population growth and keep its culture and institutions intact? Clay had been resistant to any type of progress in Charming at all, explaining that an improved police force would be a natural outgrowth of progress thereby interfering with the ability of SAMCRO to earn.

Jax didn't look at it that way. For the right type of businesses, he thought, more people would mean more customers and more profits. He had maintained for years that SAMCRO should be looking at new ways to earn. Look at Uncle Jury – his club didn't outlaw, but controlled a number of Nevada's shadier legit businesses, so much so that not only was he protected by state and local authorities, but also there were skirmishes with Mayans until the peace was brokered.

Jax rose, stretched again, and took off for home, ready to face his day. He decided he would buy a set of weights, maybe a tread mill, even though the Clubhouse had a makeshift gym which was really a converted closet. Only Koczik, Juice, Opie, Half Sack and himself ever used it, but never on a schedule. Also, like most areas of the clubhouse, though, the space was grimy and smelt of dirt, sweat, booze, cigarettes and pussy.

As soon as he arrived at home, Jax dialed Gemma.

"Morning, Ma. You up? I really need your help this morning."

"Oh? I'll be right over," Gemma responded eagerly.

Jax took off his sweaty clothes and chucked them into the hamper. He took a quick shower and put on his usual jeans and tee. He'd kill for a cup of coffee and slice of toast or something right now, but the coffee maker lay shattered in the kitchen floor with the toaster lying next to it. He settled for an orange juice and a power drink. Jax made sure the front door was open so that Gemma could walk in as she always did and she arrived true to form before long.

"Good morning, J….," she started, looking around the living area. "What the hell happened here?"

"Hale and I had…a misunderstanding late last night. This is the result."

Gemma walked up to Jax and inspected his face – a few light bruises but no serious damage there, then his knuckles, bruised but not badly.

"I assume that you and he …came to an understanding?" Gemma queried.

"For now," Jax replied. "But my place is an obvious casualty. Can you help me out today? I don't know where to start and I remember how you straightened up the place after Wendy."

"Oh my God," Gemma said, laughing. "This will be a cakewalk after the Hurricane Wendy cleanup. I needed HAZMAT level protection for that."

"So what do you say we get started? Just tell me what to do," Jax said.

Gemma looked around. "You check the furniture and appliances. Anything is broken, set it out for the trash. Anything still usable, put over by the patio doors. I will start sweeping up the broken wood and glass. When you're done get the vacuum."

And so it went. With the two of them working diligently everything was cleaned up by 11 and there were 3 large bags of trash not including the furniture put out for pickup.

"Looks like you're going to need a new cocktail table, an end table, living room chairs, lamps, wall pictures, picture frames, a coffee maker, blender, and dishes," Gemma observed.

"Maybe I'll just get a new living room set," said Jax, "put that black leather bachelor couch out to pasture. Are you up for a shopping trip, Mom? Let's go tomorrow. But now, I'm hungry. You want pizza? I'll make the call."

"Pizza?" Gemma grumbled. "Ugh, I won't hear of it. I'm going to go to the market and I'll be back to make you something more substantial."

"Sounds good," said Jax. "I guess I can hold out."

Gemma looked in Jax's refrigerator, his freezer, and pantry, gave him a kiss and left. She hadn't been gone long when Harry called with Roger conferenced in.

"Good morning, Jackson." He said. "Roger's on the line as well."

"Good morning," Jax said. "How are you both?"

"We're well. We know you're busy so let's get right to it. The documents are ready. We've prepared quit claim deeds for the properties with provision that Gemma is responsible for any encumbrances on same. We have prepared an order of sale for $1.00 for Teller Morrow – easiest way to change ownership. But we need to determine if you are buying it in your own name or if there is a business name and structure you want to put in place."

"Do I have to decide that now?"

"No, but soon, like the next few weeks. We can go over your options and pros and cons to help you decide. We can put the business in your name for now and give you the right to operate it under the current name. We have the request for an audit, and an order to bar Gemma from all business accounts and business transactions pending investigation for fraud and embezzlement. There is also a restraining order barring her from contact with Tara and the boys. Last is her payment to you of $5,000,000 due by end of business day; in exchange she can live in the home until her death. If she does not agree to surrender your funds, she'll be immediately charged and arrested. Oh, yes, and she can voluntarily resign her TM job immediately, or be suspended pending investigation. We just need your signature.

"We suggest that Gemma be served Monday morning, if possible, rather than tomorrow. We will have three guards present, 2 are female, licensed to carry, are well trained and experienced. We are also prepared to drive Gemma anywhere she needs to go to get the money, if necessary. But she won't get to so much as go to the restroom alone until funds have cleared.

"Chief Hale will be put on alert Monday morning in case Gemma needs to be charged and arrested. Whether she signs or not we'll get her keys. Roger is prepared to come to Charming Monday morning to make certain that Gemma understands the legal ramifications of refusing to sign and/or turning over the money.

"I like the idea of serving Gemma Monday – that narrows her window of escape and limits the time available to her to do damage," Jax said. "Can you email me copies of the documents?"

"Yes, I'll email them right away. Are you still going to give out copies of the by-laws and letters?" Roger asked.

"Absolutely – as I said, Gemma has several staunch supporters in the club and I do not want her to be able to play any card that paints her as an innocent victim of an unfair son," Jax said. "She needs to have nowhere to run to. I will start my meeting with the club at 9. Roger, you come to the office at 8:45 and I'll sign everything first. I'll have Gemma at the TM office at 9:30. I want to tell her what I've learned, then Roger can take over. She can address the club after she signs, if she wants to. Otherwise, she'll be escorted off the property immediately.

"Have security come at 9:45 - not a minute sooner. We don't want to spook. Also, please don't come in an ominous government looking black car. What do you drive?"

"A silver Prius."

"Good."

"Alright then. With any luck, we'll have the documents signed by 10:30," said Roger, and you'll have your money by the end of the day. Do you have a bank account?"

"Not really," said Jax.

Neither Roger nor Harry knew what that meant. "We need to talk about that Jackson," said Harry. "But in the meanwhile you can use the firm's escrow account for this transaction."

"Thank you. Thank you both for all your help. Be sure to send me your bills," said Jax.

"Alright Jackson. Call if anything comes up. Otherwise, I'll see you Monday morning," said Roger.

Jax was pleased. Everything was going according to plan so far. Gemma seemed satisfied with his explanation about the state of his house, which was basically the truth. He was involving Gemma in the more harmless changes so he was not only keeping her busy, but also allowing her time to snoop at his place where, at the moment, there was nothing to hide. He was certain that Gemma believed that it would be business as usual between them. Though he'd had to adjust his plans for Saturday, it was more important to get to Monday morning without tipping his hand. He'd go as far as he had to make that happen.

Jax placed a quick call to Stan and learned that he'd be arriving in 15 minutes.

"Look, Stan. My mother will be here. Please do not mention anything about the cameras going in yesterday," said Jax.

"Lips are sealed," said Stan, and I'll see you soon."

Stan appeared exactly 14 minutes later and started to work immediately. When he was about half way through, Gemma returned.

"Hey – what's a locksmith's truck doing here?" she asked.

"Hey Ma. Is that all the groceries?"

"No, there's more in the car."

Jax quickly went to retrieve them while Gemma went into the kitchen. Stan was out back so she hadn't seen him yet.

When Jax brought in the bags, Gemma asked again, "What's with the locksmith?"

"After Hale burst in here yesterday, I decided to change the locks and install an alarm system. I need to keep my family safe and I've had way too many unwanted guests in here over the last couple of years," Jax explained. He smiled at Gemma sweetly and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Let me help you put the food away."

"No, I'll do it," said Gemma. "You go find the locksmith."

"Oh, OK," said Jax.

"I love you, Jackson," said Gemma.

"I love you too, Mom." It was true – he did.

Gemma started to point out that Jax could just assign a prospect to guard his home but then she remembered Half Sack's knifing. Only Tara's quick thinking and surgical skill saved his life. The important thing was that she continued to have free access to Jax's place, new locks and alarm system or not. She'd wait to see how that played out.

Jax left the house and found Stan working on the patio door.

"Hey Stan. How's it going?"

"Jax. It's going good – at this rate, I'll be done in about an hour or so."

"Tell me, will I be able to change the alarm code on my own?" Jax asked.

"Yes. It's a simple process." And he explained to Jax how. "It's also in the instruction booklet. I'll go over everything with you before I leave."

"I may need you to come back and change these locks again in the next day or so. Will you be able to come back and do it immediately?" Jax asked.

"For you? Just call – I'll be here within the hour."

"I will probably need the locks changed and an alarm system installed at a business on Monday. I will call you once I know for sure. Are you available?" Jax added.

"I don't have anything scheduled at the moment, so I'll block out the day."

"Great. Show me what you've done so far." The two men did a quick walk around and arrived at the patio.

"Ok, Stan. Looks good. Now laugh as if I told you the funniest joke you've ever heard," Jax instructed. "Make it loud."

Stan did and so did Jax. Jax clapped Stan on his back and went back into the house.

While Jax was outside with Stan, Gemma made an inspection run into Jax's bedroom, searching the drawers and closets for any clue she could find on the past week and where Tara might be. Then she rushed to Abel's room and checked his closet and a couple of drawers. Figuring that Thomas's room would be the same as Abel's, she next went into the bathroom, having left that for last in case Jax came back in. She went through the cabinets, the linen closet and dirty clothes hamper. Gemma then flushed, washed her hands, and headed back to the kitchen. For the time being, she was content that things were consistent with what Jax said about Tara's return and she found no clues as to Jax's whereabouts last week, or Tara's current location.

When Jax walked into the kitchen, Gemma was prepping the roast beef and the chili was already cooking.

"You can freeze some of this chili and have it later," she explained. "Ummm, so when's Tara coming home with my grand babies?"

"Any time from now," said Jax. "She asked for a little time and I figured I owed her that much given…everything. She and I will talk in a few days."

Gemma started to comment but decided she would keep quiet – she and Jax were finally getting back to normal. But she was infuriated. That bitch had the nerve to need time? She brought the whole thing on herself! Did she think she could divorce Jax and take his kids without consequences? She clearly didn't know Jax as well as she thought she did. _I'll deal with her ass later as soon as I re-cement my relationship with Jax._ Gemma thought that Collette was the way to reconnect and control him, but it looked like she wouldn't need that old whore after all.

"So how about we meet at Baxter's Furniture at 8:30 tomorrow morning? I only have until 10:30," Gemma said. "Nero and I are getting his son Lucius at eleven and we're keeping him until Sunday at 6, so I won't be available. It's Lucius's first overnight with us and I want everything to be perfect. So I'm going to head out now, Jackson. The chili should simmer for about 30 minutes more and the roast beef can come out of the oven in an hour and a half. You OK to handle that?"

"I think I can manage," said Jax.

"Come by for dinner tomorrow at 6. We're having spaghetti and meatballs. It's the kid's favorite."

"I'll try, Ma."

Jax walked Gemma to her car, gave her a hug and kiss and saw her off. In another 30 minutes, Stan had wrapped up the installation and was testing the system.

Jax watched all this was great interest. "Stan, did you go to school for this?"

"Not traditional school," he said, "but vo-tech. I've always like to tinker with things. Besides, locksmithing is a decent living. Had to supplement it with additional products and services like alarms and other forms of security – you know, to stay up with the technology changes."

Jax continued with his questions. "Do you have to have any special licenses or permits?"

"In California, yes, but the laws vary from state to state. You also need the regular business licenses. But the rub is being able to get bonding and insurance. That involves investigations, financial stability, etc. A locksmith cannot have been convicted of a felony. But more importantly, people have to be able to trust that you're not selling their alarm codes to criminals, for example." Then Stan smiled, before he remembered who he was talking to at which time his smile faded.

Jax pretended not to notice. "So you own this business, Stan?"

"Yes, I do. Inherited it from my dad."

"But it's what you want to do…"

"It is."

"How about you, Jax?"

"I'll let you know, Stan. I'll have to let you know."

Stan showed Jax how to operate the system and showed him the corresponding pages in the instruction booklet. Jax chose Gemma's birth date for the passcode. Then Stan showed him how to change the code. With the operating instruction complete, Stan left.

Jax walked into the kitchen, dished up a bowl of chili, grabbed a beer and set everything on the kitchen table. He really wanted to start making lists and diagrams of his ideas, but it wasn't time yet. He would have to handle everything mentally until early next week. He grabbed a spoon from the drawer and started to eat.

The only other things he needed to do now were to hang on a little bit longer, pay attention to the details and work the plan…

A/N: Gemma's up to her old tricks but Jax is a step ahead of her! Please review! SOA forever!


	30. Chapter 30

You're Not the Only One

Jax had removed the roast beef from the oven on time as Gemma instructed. He then putzed about the place for while before stripping his bed and throwing the sheets into the washing machine along with the contents of the hamper. He read the laundry detergent instructions carefully as he had no idea how much to pour in. Same with the fabric softener. Then he picked up the bottle of pink sprinkles, took a sniff, filled its cap and tossed that in too. _Must be how Tara gets the clothes to smell so nice._ Though Jax noticed the difference in how his clothes felt (softer) and smelled (cleaner) when she started to wash them, he'd never said anything. _Just one more thing I failed to appreciate her for when she was here._ Next, Jax went into his bedroom, stepped into his sneakers, put on his kutte and headed to the clubhouse. By now, it was a little after 3.

But his first stop was the TM office. Chucky was in there working on accounts.

"Chucky my man. How goes it?" said Jax. "I thought you were doing bookkeeping at Caracara, as well as being clubhouse chef extraordinaire."

"I accept that," said Chucky. "I just help out in here sometimes when things get backed up or if Gemma's hasn't been in. Mostly I'm at Caracara, though."

"Do you do the banking, too?"

"Sometimes. It's all done electronically for the most part. Only need 1 finger," Chucky grinned.

"I see. So where do you sleep? Do you have a place?" Jax asked.

"I have a pallet in the supply closet," Chucky responded. "It suits me OK. It's near the bathroom."

Jax nodded. "You do a good job for us, Chucky. I appreciate your ability to think on your feet to help us out."

"I accept that, too, Jax. Thank you."

"Yeah man. I'll let you get on with it."

Jax went over to the clubhouse to hang out. Bobby, Chibs and Tig were there – no Juice. "Where is he?" asked Jax.

"He's at his weed dispensary for the afternoon. But he'll back tonight in time for the party," said Tig.

"Didn't we have a party yesterday? What are we celebrating today?" asked Jax.

"I don't know but we'll think of something," Chibs said.

"Do you still need me to follow Juice?" Tig asked.

Jax was still suspicious of Juice but would defer to Tig. "Have you seen anything concrete?"

"Well he went to Collette's three times last week and twice this week. Barosky was there every time, too."

"How long was he inside?"

"Few hours each time. He doesn't have an old lady in there or anything, and as best I can tell he's not sampling the delights."

"So he's meeting Barosky. We have that final shipment to unload to Laroy then we're done with the guns. When's Laroy making that pickup? It's taking too damn long."

"I'll give him a call and find out what the holdup is," Chibs said.

"Keep me posted," Jax said. "And keep an eye on Juice until that shipment is gone."

"Coming back for the party?" Chibs asked.

"Nah, I doubt it. I have some business to take care of, then I'll just turn in early. I have to meet Gemma early in the morning. Going furniture shopping."

"Whoo-whooo-whooo! Furniture shopping," said Bobby in a sing song voice. "It's about time."

"What?!" said Jax. "I know you're not talking with that Liberace meets Elton John meets the Ming Dynasty thing you got going on at your place."

"Hey – my home is a show piece!" retorted Bobby.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," said Jax with a laugh. "I'll see you all tomorrow afternoon at church."

"Alright then, Jacky-boy," said Chibs.

"Alright brother," from Tig and Bobby. The three men hugged and kissed and Jax headed toward his bike. He saddled up, put on his helmet and headed downtown to Wiley's bookstore. He hoped it hadn't closed for the day.

Jax arrived at the store in about 10 minutes and was able to park right out front. He pulled off his helmet and walked in. He saw the owner, Will Wiley, standing behind his counter. He was wearing a white shirt and a colorful bowtie and had been a fixture there ever since Jax could remember.

"Hi Mr. Wiley. Where's the poetry section?" he asked.

Mr. Wiley noticed the kutte right away and eyed Jax with suspicion. The Sons had been collecting a monthly protection fee from him since his business opened. Clay reduced it to $250 per month about 2 years ago and even at that reduced rate Will struggled to pay it. He was current with his payment for this month and knew that he had about $20 cash in the register, so he finally said to Jax, "Follow me."

Wiley left from behind the counter and headed to the back of the store and pointed to several shelves. "You looking for anything in particular?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Jax. "The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran and 20 Love Poems by Pablo Neruda."

"Good choices." At that, Mr. Wiley eyed Jax with renewed interest and broke out into a big grin. Wiley pulled a copy of The Prophet from a shelf. "Now I do not have Love Poems, but I have a copy of Neruda's complete works of poetry that would have his love poems in it." He pulled that book and handed it to Jax as well.

"There are two other books I want, also poetry," said Jax. "One is titled 'sincerely', and the other is 'Her.' Do you have them?"

"They don't sound familiar but let me look," Wiley said. "Let's go back to the front."

Will led Jax back to the front counter and got onto his computer. Jax watched him work the keys and after a minute or two, Mr. Wiley read the titles and the authors. "Are these the books?" He turned the computer monitor around so that Jax could see the covers.

"Yes," said Jax.

"Well I don't have them in stock, but I can order them for you and have them here in a couple of days," he said, looking at Jax, hoping he'd place an order.

"That would be fine. But I'll pay for all 4 books now."

"Would you prefer a phone call or email message when the books come in?" Mr. Wiley asked.

"Phone is fine," Jax said. He reached into his wallet and pulled out one of his new business cards.

Impressed, Mr. Wiley nodded his head and began to ring Jax up. "Forty-eight fifty two please."

Jax paid him and Wiley bagged his purchases. "Thank you. I'll see you in a few days." Jax started out the doors but returned to the counter.

"I would like to give 2 nice romantic love sorts of books to my wife every couple of weeks," Jax said. It took me an hour and a half in Walton's to select these four. Might go quicker if someone could select some books for me to choose from.

Mr. Wiley broke out into a huge grin. "I could do that son. In addition to poetry, there are short stories, odes, erotic literature compilations, and art books, erotic art, etc, limited only by your imagination."

"Erotic art like porn you mean?" asked Jax.

"Good heavens, no," said a shocked Mr. Wiley. "Here, let me show you."

Mr. Wiley went to the back and brought back an illustrated Kama Sutra and a book of Japanese erotic art.

Jax took the books and flipped through the pages.

"Damn," he said. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wiley, but where was this when I was in high school?" asked Jax.

Mr. Wiley smiled.

"These look…interesting to say the least. But to be honest, the wife's a little angry at me at the moment so I want to start slow. These might be a bit much for now."

Wiley smiled again. "I see. Then I would stick with the romantic classics for a while. There's a lot to choose from in this genre. Perhaps introduce classic erotic art down the road."

"OK," Jax said. "I want to give my wife 3 – 4 books a month, also 2 books for each of my sons, ages 4 and 8 months, and my unborn child. My wife is going into her third month."

_Ten books per month thought Wiley._ _If I had 5-6 more of these, I might have a shot at making it._

"So your store has been here for what, 20 years?" asked Jax.

"Twenty-two years, and I don't know for how much longer," answered Mr. Wiley, with sadness.

"Business is no good?"

Wiley huffed. "Just look around. It's fallen off in the age of online and big box book sellers. But the thing is, I can order any book that anyone wants and have it in at the same price in 2 days! I own the space which is a big help with the monthly expenses but still…"

"You want to keep the business going?"

"I do, son. I do. I love books, reading, learning, always have. That's what books represent for me – broadening horizons, experiencing new things, escaping the hum-drum. I'd like to have an opportunity to pass that love of learning on to a new generation, but it doesn't look like I'll have a chance."

Wiley's bottom lip started to tremble and Jax felt sorry for the old timer. He waited a few minutes for Mr. Wiley to compose himself and Jax patted his shoulder.

"You know, your Dad was an avid reader. He'd bought at least 5 books a week for years," said Mr. Wiley softly, his eyes cast downward.

Jax wondered what happened to his Dad's books. "Mr. Wiley, I learned only about a month ago about my dad's reading habit. I would like to talk to you more about it – what books he read, when he started, his first books, his last book, did he discuss his readings with you. I want to know more about your business, too but I really have to go. So can we talk later?"

"I'd like that, Mr. Teller," Mr. Wiley responded.

"Jax, short for Jackson. So if you have several book recommendations for me to choose from by Friday next week, I'll do my research and get back to you with my order within a day or two. Take care and have a good week."

Jax left the bookstore, got on his ride and went home, anxious to tear into that roast beef.

He parked his bike in the driveway, opened his front door and punched the passcode into the keypad. He closed the door and rearmed the system. Jax first went into the kitchen. After washing his hands, he set the oven temperature at 425 degrees. Once the oven pinged, Jax removed some steak fries from the freezer, put them on a baking sheet then into the oven.

Jax then went into the bathroom and undressed. As he opened the hamper, he noticed that the sweat pants and tee that he wore this morning were underneath of a towel and clothing he'd worn previously. He smirked. _Gemma…true to form._

He took a quick shower, padded to his bedroom and put on a pair of his new boxer briefs. He went back into the kitchen, poured himself a glass of milk, and took the books out of the bag and sat down. Tara asked him what the poems were that caused him to purchase those books. He remembered three from The Prophet – 'On Love', 'On Marriage', 'On Children'. Knowing Tara, she wouldn't let him off the hook by allowing him to give her the three odes from Gibran. She would insist upon one, so he would take the time tonight to select one. In Neruda, he didn't remember the name of the poem, so he'd have to find it and he did, easily. It was titled 'Here I Love You'.

Jax looked in the pantry, found a can of spinach, dumped it into a saucepan and set it on the stove to heat up. He began to slice a generous portion of the roast beef for his dinner and put it on a paper plate. He checked the fries – they'd be ready in about 10 minutes. He sat for a moment, retrieved a colorful placemat from the drawer, put out the cutlery, and lit the candle Tara had placed on the kitchen table. He smiled at the thought of her sitting with him over dinner.

Jax heated the roast beef in the microwave, dished out generous portions of the fries and spinach. He ate heartily, totally enjoying his meal. The best part about the meal, though, was that he had enough leftovers for another 2 days. He smiled to himself – he never ever was concerned before about what and when he would eat. He had daily choices as to where to get a good home cooked meal – at home with Tara, his Mom's, even the clubhouse. If things worked out with Nita, he'd not have to concern himself with food again.

Jax cleared the table, threw out the trash and was putting away the leftovers. As he was standing at the sink washing his glass, cutlery and pots, he caught a glimpse of himself in the kitchen window. _ Well ain't I just a picture of domestic bliss he thought to himself, chuckling._

Finished with his kitchen duties, Jax remembered his laundry. He went to the mudroom, transferred the wet items to the dryer, and turned it on. He spied a box of dryer sheets, opened the dryer door, threw a few sheets in and restarted it. He then went into the living room and sat on the loveseat which was the only remaining piece of furniture from his battle with Hale. For the first time since he arrived in Lodi last week, he wanted a cigarette. He hadn't had one since he'd returned and he wasn't going to start back again. He'd just have to bear the craving.

So he turned his thoughts to Tara. He missed her so much. He felt as if a big part of his life was missing and it was. He longed to hear her voice – to hear about her day. He remembered how excited and happy she would be when a surgery was successful and how sad she would be when it wasn't. He marveled at her intensity as she read her medical journals or studied in preparation for a complicated case. He loved when she talked to him about the medical challenges faced by her patients and he recalled when she talked with him about a tiny Abel, fighting for his life.

He missed Tara - her touch, her face, her smile. She was such a calming and balancing presence in his life. Jax was feeling as if he could spiral out of control at the least provocation right now. But he couldn't – Tara was always strong for him but now it was his turn to be strong for her.

She'd been gone from him now for 2 days. He wondered how she was doing – if she missed him at all. He wanted so desperately to talk to her – even to have her on the other end of the phone if they didn't talk would mean so much right now. He remembered a time not long ago that they couldn't even walk past each other without a kiss, a touch, caress or an I love you. He had jokingly talked about his teenage "I have to be with you every second of every day" phase maintaining that the phase was behind him and replaced with a more mature approach to love. But truth be told, he hadn't strayed far from his teenage phase where Tara was concerned, no matter how hard he argued to the contrary. He'd be glad when Opie and Donna returned. He'd at least have them to talk to. Jax lay his arm over his eyes, crossed his bare feet at the ankles, then sighed deeply and dozed off.

**A/N: I have no idea how I arrived at the name for this chapter. Don't judge me! (smile) Please review and SOA forever!**


	31. Chapter 31

Heaven Sent

Jax could hear the faint buzz of his phone ringing in his haze. He rushed into the bedroom and grabbed the phone from the top of the dresser. "Yeah?" he said, hoping he didn't miss the call since it was on his Blackberry.

"Jax?" said the sweetest voice he'd heard ever.

"Hey, baby. Are you OK? Are the boys alright?"

Tara could hear the big smile then the concern in his voice.

"Yes," Tara said, quickly. "We're all fine. How are you?" _Do you miss me?_

"I'm fine. Keepin' busy – stayin' out of trouble." _ I miss you so fuckin' much. "_Tryin' not to get that pack of smokes out of the nightstand."

"Yes," Tara said. "I noticed that you weren't smoking when we were in Lodi."

"There really wasn't much of an opportunity. Every place was no smoking, even in the outdoor spaces. I really didn't want to be traipsing around looking for designated smoking spots. So I decided that I wasn't going to smoke. Thought I'd go back to smoking once I was back in Charming, but I don't want to. Even in the span of a week, I notice a difference in my senses of smell and taste. Today is really that first day that I have even thought about a smoke."

"Where are you, Jax?"

"I'm at home."

"No – what room of the house are you in?"

"Bedroom, why?"

"Get those smokes out of the nightstand."

"Why?"

"Get them out."

Jax opened the drawer and removed the full pack. "Now what?"

"Take them into the kitchen." Jax did.

"Turn on the water and dump the individual cigarettes into the sink. Stuff them into the drain and turn on the garbage disposal," Tara commanded.

He did.

"Any other packs in the house?" she asked.

"No, I don't believe so."

"There are distinct aspects of smoking. One is the nicotine addiction, of course. Another is the habit and ritual, and last is oral pleasure achieved from the engagement of the lips and mouth. So find other things to do at the times you would ordinarily smoke – while riding your Harley, first thing in the morning, after meals, after sex," Tara explained.

"I think I have that last one covered," Jax said.

"Still," Tara retorted, choosing to ignore the invitation to discuss his sex life. "The literature argues that people who smoke tend to enjoy oral satisfactions, so you should buy yourself sugarless gum, hard candy, something to chew on or suck, and keep it handy. One more thing – declare the house a no smoking zone. It will take forever to get the smell of cigarettes out of there as it is."

_I'd like to have you handy to chew or suck on thought Jax. _

"I'll get some things tomorrow. No smoking zone it is, from today forward. Thanks for saving me from myself once again," Jax said. I went jogging this morning for the first time. Ten miles."

"How'd it feel?"

"Felt good, though it took me longer than I thought it should. I found myself winded, but it will get better."

"Good for you." _As if that bod of yours needs to get any more killer._ "I know what you mean though about changes. This pregnancy is affecting me differently. I tire more easily and I'm already having pain in my lower back and hips. I want to take a pregnancy yoga class, hoping that will help increase my energy and relieve the pain. I'm a little worried because I'm just a little over 2 months and those symptoms will only get worse. I am grateful that I don't start work for a month and that it's only part time for 3 months. I honestly don't think I could handle full time right now and I'm not certain I'll be able to handle it after the 3 months, either."

Jax had been standing in the kitchen, leaning against the refrigerator. As they talked he had walked back into the bedroom and was sitting on the side of their bed. Jax regretted having missed these changes when Tara carried Thomas. Involvement in the development of their newborn was all the more important to him because of it. At Tara's confession, he lay back against the pillows.

"Tara, I have complete confidence and faith in you. Do whatever you need to do to preserve your health and the health of our baby. I know that you are anxious to get to work, but if you don't feel up to it please don't push yourself. I will be sending regular monthly payments through your lawyer and hopefully that will help with your living expenses and give you some flexibility."

"Jax, I signed an agreement."

"And so did I. It said that you were not seeking any money from me. Didn't say I couldn't provide it anyway. I demand to be part of supporting my family, Baby. You can't stop me from doing that. If what I send gets you extra household help or provides you the means to buy some gadgets that make your life easier or allows you to work a reduced schedule throughout the pregnancy, or goes into a college fund for the boys, I consider it money well spent. Besides, you promised me that if you needed anything you'd reach out. I think that is what this is – a reach out.

"Look Baby, I don't want to spend this precious time arguing with you. You will lose this argument, trust me."

Jax heard Tara snort on the other end. He took it as a good sign that she didn't comment further.

"So what do you want to spend this precious time doing?" Tara asked, the words slipping out before she could filter them.

"What color panties are you wearing?" Jax whispered.

"OMG – phone sex with a pregnant woman. You pervert," Tara laughingly accused.

"Yeah but you love my pervert – admit it," he replied.

_I do. I love you, too thought Tara._

"Want to know what color panties I'm wearing?" Jax continued, his voice full of mischief.

"You're incorrigible," Tara said.

"Black, with a white waistband that says Hanes. They ride low on my hips…" said Jax, his voice trailing off. _Just like you like_

Jax could hear Tara breathing heavily on the other end of the line.

He waited a few minutes, then said, "I am so happy you phoned, Babe. I was just sitting here thinking about you, about us, the happy times. Wishing that I could call you. Have you read the books?"

"I've read 'The Prophet' and 'Love Poems'. What were the odes that caught your attention when you bought them?" she asked.

"You first," said Jax, as he continued to lay on bed in the dark while they talked…for hours.

**A/N: We have the first contact of our start crossed lovers! SOA forever!**


	32. Chapter 32

Saturday Morning - Mostly

Jax sat on his bike in front of Baxter's Furniture Store Appliances and Electronics at 8:15 a.m. He had slept late this morning thanks to his marathon chat session with Tara – four and a half hours with no lull in the conversation and he enjoyed every second of it. He was reminded that in addition to being his personal physician, wife, lover, mother of his children and all woman, she was also his very best friend and confidante. He had shared things with her over the years that he had never voiced to another human being.

So he'd jumped up at 6:15 am, rushed through his workout then gone for his run. But he'd forgotten his watch so he had no idea how long it took, though he wasn't expecting much of an improvement in 1 day. He was still winded and still got that muscle burn but also, he'd felt lightheaded on the return. It went away once he had a power drink and some water. So in the future, he would have some nourishment right after his workout and just before his run. That should take care of it.

There was much to do today. Nita was coming at 11 and Opie and Donna would be there at noon. After that, church at 2. Though he intended to have "THE" meeting on Monday morning, he would still hold "A" meeting today, since he told the members of the Saturday meet days ago. He was certain they'd been speculating about the docket. But he would just have to plan a different agenda. He had already phoned Opie and alerted him to the change in plans regarding the copies.

He was actually excited to pick out new things for his place. Other than a few feminine touches Tara put in when he was in prison, the place remained a cross between a young man's bachelor pad and grandma's country abode, courtesy of Gemma. She arrived right on time and they entered the building.

Before the automatic doors closed a tall blonde who looked to be about 30 or so rushed up and offered her assistance.

"Why sure, Darlin," said Jax, giving her the once over. "I need living room furniture. I'm Jax by the way. You are?" He flashed her that smile.

"Sarah. It's nice to meet you, Jax."

"You have anything to show me Sarah?"

She blushed. "I believe I do. Please follow me."

Gemma suppressed a satisfied grin as she watched Jax check Sarah out. _He's such a slut, she thought._

Jax made quick work of picking out the things he wanted with little help from Sarah or Gemma. He chose a brown and black leather sectional with chaise, a storage ottoman, a wood and glass side table, an oversized table lamp, and a matching floor lamp. Jax also bought a patterned area rug, an entertainment center and a 50 inch tv.

Jax paid for his purchases and left the counter with a wink at Sarah. "See you later, Darlin'," he whispered and Sarah nodded her head eagerly. He looked at his receipt; Sarah had written her cell number at the bottom with a note that said 'call me'. Jax turned and winked at her again.

"I'm impressed with your choices, Jackson," said Gemma.

"Yeah, I'm a sucker for a pretty blondes," he replied.

Gemma slugged him in the arm. "That's not what I meant, but she was cute. Certainly more age appropriate than…"

"Don't say it Mom," Jax warned, playfully. "But about the furniture? I figure ya gotta grow up sometime. Hale did me a favor. That teenage boy fantasy pad thing I had going on was long overdue for a change. I paid extra for Baxter's to deliver everything Sunday morning by 10. I'll get a couple of prospects to cart off the old stuff and put the wall unit together."

"You know, you should probably go ahead and paint the living room while you're at it," Gemma suggested. "It'll be easier to do before the new furniture arrives. I have a little time left before I have to leave. Let's go to the paint store. The prospects can paint it tonight and it'll be completely dry by morning." Jax agreed and they detoured to the paint store, Gemma in her Cadillac SUV and Jax on his bike.

Within 30 minutes they had paint, brushes, rollers, tape, drop cloths, stirrers and paint pans, enough for 4 or 5 people to paint at a time. At that rate, Jax figured they'd be done in 2-3 hours if that long. That would leave more than enough time for the prospects' evening activities.

Gemma followed Jax home. When he unlocked the front door he immediately went to the keypad. Gemma watched as he entered her birthdate and pressed enter and she smiled. Jax brought everything into the house, then walked Gemma to her car and kissed her goodbye.

He walked back into the house and put the furniture receipt on the kitchen table. He carefully ripped Sarah's name and cell number off the bottom and tossed it into the trash with a smirk. He hated having to put on that show for Gemma but it was necessary. Jax looked at his watch. Thanks to Nero, Gemma was now out of commission until 6 tomorrow. There was nothing to do now but wait for Nitta and Opie.

Nitta arrived promptly at 11 and she and Jax greeted each other warmly.

"Are the boys back?" she asked.

Jax shook his head no. "They're with Tara for now. She needs some time..."

Nitta nodded her head. _But i know you did something because that woman loves you...Nitta thought. _"I'm sorry Jax. I know how you must feel without them."

_Lost, alone, sad, ungrounded…thought Jax._

"That's why I wanted to talk to you today. I want to keep you on but in a different role - as cook and housekeeper instead of nanny. I'd like you to cook and clean for me, handle household errands, etc. I figure 30 hours/week? $20/hour? You can set your own schedule but let me know what it's going to be each week."

"I can definitely handle the cooking. I've taken some classes and want my own catering business and maybe a restaurant. I can dust, run the sweeper, change your sheets, keep the place neat, but scrubbing floors, doing windows, cleaning bathrooms, no. I can also handle errands as long as I can do them within my scheduled time." Nitta was saddened, thinking that her opportunity to stay was lost.

But Jax countered. "How about if you hire someone to take care of the cleaning that you don't want to do? You could supervise that person and I only ask that you be here when they are in the house."

Nitta perked up. "Yes, I can hire that person. Prepare a schedule for them of what needs to be cleaned when and with what supplies. I wanted my own cleaning business at one time, too."

"I have to tell you, before you commit, that there's a wrinkle. I've installed an alarm system and changed locks, because of Gemma," Jax explained.

"Bout damn time," said Nitta.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked.

"I caught her searching through things on several occasions, claimed she was looking for something for Abel or Thomas. I've said 1000 times – I ain't no stupid sister. I keep my mouth shut and don't ask questions, but I see what I see.

"Also, she called me to get me to tell her what you were doing and where you were when Tara asked me to pack you and the boys. Told her I didn't know anything except that said you'd call me when you needed me back on the job."

Jax smiled. "Well she's still doing that – snooping, I mean. I will tell her that she's welcome to come over anytime I'm home but there's no need for her to be in here other than that. I expect you to keep her out. If she's insistent – tell her you're calling me. I am giving you a key and the alarm code. You are not to give them to Gemma under any circumstances."

"That should be real interesting," said Nitta.

"Also," said Jax, "If she gives you anything for me or the house, groceries, presents, whatever. Put it in the garage immediately. She's not above cameras and listening devices."

Nitta shook her head. "Your mom is out of pocket, Jax."

"I know," he replied. "And I've made it my mission in life to get her back in pocket." He smiled. "So you're with me on the cooking, light housekeeping, and hiring a house cleaner?"

"I'm with you," Nitta said, shaking hands with Jax.

"So for today, can you go to a store like a Target? I need a coffee maker, a blender, and a four slice toaster. I also need a set of dishes, a card table and 4 chairs – the padded ones. I need…"

"Wait a minute, Nitta said and took out a small notepad and pen. "Dishes, blender, coffeemaker – any particular brand?"

Jax shook his head no.

"Four slice toaster, card table and padded chairs, and?"

"I think that's it for the goods, unless you think of anything," Jax said.

"When you're back, I have clothes in the dryer to be put away and if you can put sheets on my bed, I'd appreciate it. Opie will be here at 12 and I'll need you to unpack the suitcases and clothing bags and put those things away, too. Do you need me to take the car seats out of your car?"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to hold on to them. I have grand babies around the same age as Abel and the seats come in handy," Nitta requested.

"No problem," said Jax. "And that reminds me. I need kids' games," said Jax. "two Parcheesi games – do you have one?"

"No," said Nitta.

"Three Parcheesi games," Jax said with a smile. "Your grands will love it."

"Do you have Uno?" asked Nitta.

"No," said Jax. He had no idea what Uno was.

"You need Uno," said Nitta, adding it to her list.

"Last thing for today, can you whip up a big pot of something – maybe spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread? I'm having 4-5 of the MCs over here to help me paint tonight and they ain't getting my roast beef or chili!"

Nitta laughed. "Sure – no problem. I'll go ahead and get started." When Nitta stood, she took Jax's hand. "You and I never had much of an interaction until the last few weeks or so and I want to let you know that I pray for you, Tara, and those boys every single day and I'll keep on praying that all of you will come to a good place, together."

"Thank you," said Jax, humbled by Nitta's words.

Once he gave her the money for the purchases, Nitta took off, after checking Jax's fridge, freezer, pantry and kitchen cabinets.

_This is great, Jax thought._ Nitta was on board and there were few people he trusted more to see to his care. It was 11:45. Opie should be showing up at any time. Jax opened the fridge, and made himself a huge ham and cheese sandwich, with lettuce, mayo, and tomatoes. He made one for Opie, too, and set it aside. He poured himself a glass of juice and took his lunch to the kitchen table.

He had just polished off his meal when Opie pulled up and the two friends greeted each other warmly.

"Where's Donna?" Jax asked.

"She drove on home with the kids and our luggage. Everything else is in the van. Figured I'd drop the van at the clubhouse when we go to the meeting and pick up my bike."

"Well we won't need the files until Monday morning, so we'll have to store them here. Let's unload the van while I fill you in," said Jax.

As they carried suitcases, clothing bags and shoe boxes to Jax's room, his children's gear to Abel's room, and the electronics to Thomas's room. He began to fill Opie in on his conversation with the attorneys, his time spent with Gemma, Gemma and Collette, his alarm system, the new furniture, his Thursday SAMCRO meeting, and his plan for Monday. Jax had already shared about his tiff with Hale that led to demise of living room and half of his kitchen.

They decided that they would store the files in the garage until Monday morning and that Opie would use his truck to pick Jax up. Jax went to his bike and retrieved the locking bike cover and the accordion folder. They spread the cover behind some old boxes in a corner of the garage, set the folder and bankers boxes on it, then wrapped and locked the cover. They put some old tires, and other boxes on top of it.

"I think everything will be safe here until Monday," said Jax. "There are other copies securely stored elsewhere, anyway, so these aren't the only copies. So with the new locks and the alarm system, everything should be fine, right?"

"Oh yeah," said Opie.

"I have a sandwich for you in the kitchen," said Jax.

"Good. I'm starved," said Opie and they entered the house.

Opie used the bathroom then joined Jax in the kitchen to enjoy his meal in advance of the big meeting. They were sitting at the table having beers when Nitta returned.

Hey Nitta," said Opie.

Hi," said Nitta.

"Jax, can you give me a hand? My car is loaded down. I picked up everything you asked for and some other things, too, that I thought you'd need."

Opie and Jax went to Nitta's car and brought the various bags and boxes into the kitchen. By the time they finished unloading, Nitta had removed the items from the dryer and was sitting on the loveseat folding everything.

"Can I borrow you for a minute, Nitta?" Jax asked.

"Of course," she responded, and he led her into Abel's room.

"You said your grands are Abel's age. Do you want to swap the small car seat for this larger one? Also, can you officially start Tuesday morning? Gemma's going to get bad news so you may not want to be around here Monday," he said. "If you can put something together on how you'll find a person to clean for me, where you'll interview, and so on. I will need to approve your selection for obvious reasons, but you'll make the choice of final candidate. What time should I meet you here?"

"Abel's car seat would be great. Tuesday, at 11 a.m. will be fine."

"Great. Opie can you take the small car seat out of Nitta's car and put in Abel's seat?"

"Sure," Opie said, and Jax went into his bedroom to count out the money to pay Nitta for the week he was in Lodi, and today.

Of course, she didn't want to take all the money but Jax left her no choice. At the end of it all, Nitta was truly grateful for his generosity and his willingness to keep her on.

After Jax paid her, he showed her how to operate the alarm system and gave her a key to the house.

"Do you have any questions?" he asked.

"No, I don't think so," she responded.

"OK, then. We're headed out to a meeting. I'll be back by 4 or so with 5 hungry MC's in tow! I'll see you then?"

"Probably," she said, "but if not I'll be sure to lock up and set the alarm."

"Bye then," Jax said.

"Bye Nitta," said Opie.

After Jax set the alarm, he and Opie left.

Nitta could hear the engine of Jax's bike when he started it up. Though she was petrified of that thing, she would freely admit that it was an impressive looking machine. Nitta sighed deeply, withdrew the list from her purse, laid it on the table and got to work.

**A/N: SOA Forever!**


	33. Chapter 33

Saturday Morning – Chicago Style

Tara was back in bed, stretching like a cat in the sun that had just been fed and brushed for an hour. This was her third day in Chicago with the boys.

Jason and Mya were godsends. Tara didn't realize how tired she was between the stress and the bodily pregnancy changes. Her dear friends took over her and the boys' care no sooner than Jason picked up them up at O'Hare and she had been permitted to do absolutely nothing since that moment. Once they arrived at the home, Thomas and Abel were introduced to Jason Jr and Dylan. Abel slept in JJ's room and Thomas slept in a portacrib in Dylan's room, baby monitored at all times. Jason and Mya's nanny, Serita, was quite accommodating and had her cousin working with her for these next few weeks to handle the additional work. In addition to the nanny, the Masons had a housekeeper and a part time cook.

Tara had been led to a guest suite at the end of the second - floor corridor. The beautifully decorated room had its own bath and a terrace overlooking the backyard and pool. The terrace held two chaises and bistro dining set.

This morning, she'd had coffee, juice, toast, eggs on the terrace, while she reread "On Love' and 'Here I Love You' Jax's favorites from two of the books he gave her. She'd then picked up 'Her', another of the books, and removed the letter that Jax wrote her, tucked into the book's pages. Tara fingered the unopened envelope, deciding that she was not ready to think about or react to whatever he wrote. She just needed a change of scenery, a change of pace, a rest from everything - from him. So for the next 7 days, she would accede to Jason and Mya, rest, relax, enjoy.

But she couldn't rest from Jax, not really. So Tara had phoned him yesterday evening to hear his voice and they had talked for hours. Though she wanted to get away from the pain, she still missed him terribly and just had to call.

Tara was thrilled to hear that he missed her and wanted to hear her voice, too. Talking with him was as if they were on separate vacations and that everything that happened between them hadn't happened. It felt good and Tara was confident for the first time that those horrid memories would eventually fade. She gave him her new phone number and wondered now if Jax would call tomorrow as he promised. She hoped so but could only wait and see.

**A/N: Awww, poor Tara - trying to make the best of a bad situation. Please review. SOA forever!**


	34. Chapter 34

Saturday Afternoon - The Club House

Opie drove the van over to the clubhouse and Jax followed on his bike. Arriving a little early for the meeting, both men walked together inside where Opie was warmly welcomed, having been absent for 10 days. After saying his hellos, Jax went into the TM office where Chucky was hard at work.

"Hey Chucky. Still at it, huh?"

"Just trying to get these billings out before the end of the month and pay some bills so we stay current," replied Chucky. "Gotta keep the business credit score up."

"OK. You going to be here for a while?" asked Jax.

"I am. Do you need something?"

"I just might. See you in a bit."

After that, Jax walked into the chapel where he was the first to arrive. As he sat at the head of the table Jax toyed with the gavel and considered his rise to power. What did he tell Gemma? That the position was his 'by legacy, by blood, and by brains'. Jax's only regret was the high cost the leadership had extracted from him. As Nero said, there's no upside to management. Jax chuckled. As badly as he'd wanted the gavel at one time, now, he couldn't wait to be rid of it and be with his family.

Just then, his brothers started filing in, Opie, the VP, sitting to Jax's right, Chibs to Jax's left, Happy at the far end as sergeant at arms, then Piney, Juice, Miles, Tig, Koczik, Half Sack and Bobby, taking their usual places. The prospects, Phil, V-Lin, and Ratboy, were waiting in the clubhouse in case they were summoned.

Once everyone was in, Happy closed the door and Jax called the meeting to order. He laid out four key agenda topics and asked if anyone had any items to add. No one did so they got started.

"First item, very important – I'm having living room furniture delivered to my house tomorrow morning and I need help painting the room tonight right after the meeting. Need a hand with the furniture tomorrow, too. Any volunteers? Phil, V-Lin and Rat are already coming."

Opie, Half Sack, Bobby, Happy and Miles raised their hands.

"Thanks, guys. Let me know if I can ever return the favor."

"Oh, we will," said Miles, and everyone laughed.

"Second item: I want to have regularly scheduled church meetings, Monday, Wednesday, Friday mornings, at 9 a.m. In the past, meetings were called at the whim of leadership, so it was impossible for guys to handle other obligations. Happy, you have your Mom, Piney, you help Honey distribute pharma to groups in need, Bobby, you're Elvis, Opie you have Donna and the kids." _I have Tara and mine thought Jax. _ The vote: Approved: First meeting Monday morning at 9.

"Third item: Concerns the peace. It's been quiet now for month and a half. If you're like me you're enjoying it, but it's also scary, waiting for the next hotheaded act to set us at each other's throats again. So I had an Idea – a Council of MCs. Its purpose is to establish formal means of communications through regular meetings that all the clubs attend. We could maybe plan and hold a couple of combined events every year, share intel, hear disputes that have not been resolved between clubs and recommend solutions. It would be nice if this could get to the level of a binding arbitration but I don't know if we can get there." Vote: Approved. Jax wanted two delegates from SAMCRO to work on this, but the members wanted Jax to approach Lin, Laroy, Alvarez, and Darby to hammer out the framework, if they were interested. The idea of delegates could be explored later.

"Fourth item: club earnings. Bobby, what are we bringing in each month?"

"Caracara brings in 5 grand a week. Protection including runs brings in 6 grand a month, Diosa, 6 grand per month, Collette's, 4 grand a month. I want to point out that Collette's is the only illegal operation SAMCRO is currently an owner in," reported Bobby.

"What are our expenses associated with each enterprise?" Jax asked. He decided not to ask about how members were paid by TM, if TM contributed anything to the SAMCRO pot and vice versa. The clubhouse sat on TM property, after all.

"I don't know the expenses, off hand," Bobby said, but agreed to put a report together for Monday after next.

"Get Chucky to help," suggested Jax.

"Since we're out of guns and out of muling for Galindo we need to look for other ways to earn. So I would like to spend the rest of today's meeting getting suggestions on how to increase club revenue, legally. We will list the current businesses and at some point talk about how to expand…"

Bobby interjected, "or eliminate…"

Jax nodded, "expand or eliminate them. But today, I want to focus on new business ideas.

"Also, I would like to include Chucky: he knows quite about business from his time with Lin." Vote: approved.

"I want to include the prospects in this meeting, too, since they have a stake in SAMCRO's future." Vote: approved.

Jax went to get Chucky and asked Lowell Jr to keep an eye on the office. Chibs went to get the prospects. As Jax and Chibs took their seats at the table, the guests sat hesitantly in chairs scattered around the room.

"Chucky, Phil, V-Lin, Rat, you're probably all wondering why you're here," Jax said. "As you know, SAMCRO is out of guns and drug muling so we need to find new ways to earn. What I'd like to do is get suggestions for new legit revenue streams. And we want to include any ideas you might have." The prospects and Chucky looked at each other and nodded enthusiastically.

"Here's what I propose we do: whatever ideas you have, just throw them out there. We want to get as many ideas as we can. There will be no criticism, no evaluation, no discussion just yet. Once all the items are out there, we will take questions only for clarification on any business listed. Next, we will take any businesses that anyone objects to off the list. That includes you 5 special attendees. No one even has to say why they object. Then we list pros and cons for any ideas remaining. Finally, we will rank the remaining businesses from best businesses to start first, to best businesses to start last.

"Everyone agree to the process?" Vote: approved

They were off to a shaky start until someone suggested that the club secretary (Bobby) take notes. Someone also suggested that people keep their own notes as well so Chucky went to get pads and pens from the office. After about 5 minutes they were back in business.

One hundred twenty-five minutes after that, they had whittled the list down to the following businesses:

T****** & Tattoos (tattoo parlor)

Shooting Range

Archery Range

Army surplus store

Truck Stop

Private Security (People)

Venture Capitalists

Strip Club

Gentleman's Club

Franchise Juice's operation/dispensary

Cigar Bar

Cigar Store

Any type of franchise

Some type of consumer based product

Riding gloves

Sunglasses

Face cream

Sunscreen

Men's cologne

Licensed gear

The next step was to think of pros and cons for each business proposed, but they tabled further discussion for a week so that they could more carefully examine each idea. Jax adjourned the meeting and the volunteers headed to his house.

What the members did not know was that Jax was creating his own list of possible businesses to start as well. Indeed, there was a great deal riding on the outcome of the Monday reveal not only for Jax but for SAMCRO as well.

**A/N: Looks like Jax is starting to make moves. Please review. SOA forever! **


	35. Chapter 35

Sunday Morning

Jax slept until almost 8:30 Sunday morning. He wasn't surprised – he'd been up half the night playing poker. The tantalizing smell of fresh coffee and bacon tickled his nostrils so he skipped his morning workout and jumped into the shower. After he dried himself off he put on some clean jeans and a sleeveless undershirt and walked through the living room on his way to the kitchen. V-Lin, Bobby, Miles and Happy were still asleep on blankets the floor, Chibs was just coming out of the bathroom, Half Sack was sitting on the loveseat, Rat and Phil were out in the backyard smoking, and Chucky was in the kitchen cooking. They had all decided to crash at his place last night and help with the furniture this morning.

Jax entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Jax. Breakfast will be ready in about 10 minutes. Want some coffee?" asked Chucky. When Chucky heard that Jax needed volunteers to paint, he begged to be allowed to help. Jax said sure, even though he and Chucky both knew that painting was out of the question.

"Thanks, Chucky. Coffee'd be great. Thanks for your help last night, too, setting up the computer and printer and showing me that hotspot thing."

"Well you did all the work – I just told you where the cables went and what they did. I was glad to help."

"I'm sure Nitta appreciated your help in the kitchen, too," Jax added. "She wasn't expecting that many of us for dinner."

"Nitta seems like a nice lady," said Chucky, a little bit too nonchalantly. "She definitely knows her way around a kitchen. You should get her to cook for you while Tara's away. Says she wants to open a catering business one day. Yup, real nice lady. Ambitious, too.…Ummmm, Jax, do you know if she's married?"

By this time Jax was staring at Chucky, whom he had never known to chatter like he was doing now. "She's a widow. Do you have a crush on Nitta?"

"I happen to like the full figured ladies and I do find her very attractive. She's smart and has a sweet disposition, too."

"You didn't answer my question. I believe you have a crush on Nitta."

"I accept that," said Chucky, blushing.

"Nitta is under my protection and care and if you hurt her in any way you will have me to deal with. I want to make that clear," said Jax sternly. "Did you get her number?"

"I did," said Chucky, grinning as if he won the lottery. He didn't explain that his pretext was getting some recipes for the clubhouse. "I won't hurt her – I'm not a player. Don't worry."

Hearing Chucky even say the word "player" was enough to cause Jax to burst out laughing, but he didn't. "I 'm not worried," said Jax, "but you should be. Because even if you accidentally hurt her….," the threat implied.

Jax recalled that Nitta left as soon as last night's dinner was ready and that Chucky tried to convince her to stay and eat. She explained to Chucky that she would like to but that she'd had a long day and wanted to go home to rest.

So Jax walked Nitta to her car. On the way Nitta thanked him for having Opie switch the car seats and commented about how "interesting" his friends were. Jax didn't think anything about it at the time as Chucky was helping Nitta in the kitchen, but now? Jax grinned. A love connection? Neither Chucky nor Nitta were the one-night stand types. He'd keep a watchful eye on this situation.

Jax turned his thoughts toward last night's dinner. Not only was the food delicious there was plenty of it and the guys (including Jax) ate like starving junkyard dogs. Everything was baked to perfection. There were hot Italian sausages, sweet Italian sausages, Italian meatballs, roasted onions and peppers, a veggies casserole (zucchini, potatoes, carrots, and broccoli) rolls, and a Limoncello cheesecake for dessert. There were plastic containers for doggy bags, but Nitta saved some of everything especially for him and hid it in the back of the fridge. She even made garlic bread just for him, too.

Just then Chibs came in for a cup of coffee. "Breakfast ready yet?"

"Almost," said Chucky. "Have a seat."

Jax walked into the living room and awakened the sleeping brothers. "Furniture should be here soon," he announced. "You should get some breakfast first."

He then went into the yard to summon the brothers who were out there smoking. Jax had gotten a little push back last night when he insisted that his friends go outside to smoke, but Bobby told them about the research on the effect of second-hand smoke on young children. That stopped the griping immediately.

After the brothers all trooped into the kitchen, Jax stood alone in the living room assessing last night's handiwork. The walls were beautifully painted gray, but the ceiling and baseboards were a stark white. The lines were precise thanks to the use of painter's tape. The tape had been removed and deposited into the trash. Drop cloths, paint, brushes and rollers had been stored in the garage. He noticed that the brothers had removed their sleeping blankets this morning, so the room was all set to receive the furniture.

Jax was correct that the painting would take no more than 3 hours. The brothers were very efficient in their processes and in 3 hours, not only was the living room expertly painted, but he and Chucky had set up the laptop on a card table in Thomas's room and connected the printer, and Opie, V-lin and Rat had cleaned and straightened the garage. Opie was careful to keep them away from the special corner and he left Jax's house to be with Donna and his children once the garage cleaning was done.

Taking his own advice, Jax went into the kitchen, fixed himself some eggs, fruit, toast and coffee, found a seat and ate breakfast, enjoying the moments of brotherhood.

Jax was on his second cup of coffee when he heard the doorbell. He opened the door to the delivery people from Baxter's. "Furniture's here," he announced.

The delivery people brought everything inside and left; Bobby, Chibs, and Phil attacked the entertainment center and had the pieces to be assembled spread out in no time. V-Lin was working on the TV. Miles and Half Sack carried the loveseat to the side of the house since Sack decided that he wanted it. Happy had his knife out, unwrapping the rug, while Jax walked around the room, figuring out where to put things.

The entertainment enter was assembled and placed within an hour after which V-Lin went to work taking measurements and placing the TV on the wall. "You'll still need to call the cable people for service," V-Lin said, "but you might be able to get a few local channels until then." The rug was on the floor, the couch, end table, ottoman and lamps were all in place.

Bobby was sitting on the couch. "What are you going to do for window treatments?"

Jax mouthed "window treatments" to Chibs, sneakily pointing at Bobby with his index finger.

"I think some gray or white sheers would be nice. That will give the room a light and airy feel," Bobby explained.

"That's me, light and airy," said Jax.

"Jackass," Bobby retorted.

"I think you should get automatic blinds," said Chucky, having joined the group after completing his chores in the kitchen. "You can open and close them with the push of a button and even program them to open and close at certain times of day."

Jax liked the sound of that.

"Come with me." Chucky took Jax to his laptop, and in no time showed Jax some samples of automatic blinds and located a dealer in Charming. The two men returned to the living room.

V-Lin was hanging the TV and the brothers were all commenting on the 50-inch TV screen. "We need a couple of these for the clubhouse, Prez," said Half Sack.

"Let's put it on the table after we revisit club finances in a week or so," Jax said.

Shortly thereafter, V-Lin finished with the TV. The TV was perfectly hung, the wires peeking through neat holes drilled into the wall. Once the cable box was installed, the wires wouldn't be visible at all.

The brothers then cleaned up all the boxes, plastic, and tape, handed Jax all the instruction booklets and registration postcards, then took off for the clubhouse, their doggy bags in tow.

Jax looked at his new living space. It was beautiful and peaceful and he stretched out on the chaise while he looked into the backyard. The space was damn near perfect – all he needed was Tara, Abel, and Thomas. Jax dozed off dreaming dreams of just that.

**A/N: SOA forever! Please review...**


	36. Chapter 36

Sunday – The Remains of the Day

When Jax awoke from his nap, he busied himself around the house all afternoon, stopping for the occasional snack on the food Nitta left for him. He'd checked out his closet and dresser and saw that Nitta had neatly put away his new clothing. He decided that he would wear one of the outfits on Monday to set the tone of change. He hung the dark navy jeans and navy blazer on the front end of his closet, selected the brown monk strap shoes, then picked the navy sweater from his drawer. Then he went into the living room to make a few calls.

The first call was to Gemma, a check-in, he explained. Jax inquired about her weekend with Lucius and talked about his new living room and how the brothers helped. He invited Gemma to come see the place but she begged off saying that she was worn out from the weekend with Lucius. The boy would be leaving soon and she intended to have a hot bath then go to bed early. She confirmed that she would be at TM early Monday morning since she'd was absent quite a few days over the last two weeks. "It'll be good to get back into the swing of things," Gemma said. "It's good to have you back, too, Jackson. I'll see you in the morning."

The second call was to Opie, a check-in and a thank you for his help. The garage was finally straight - Jax had been working on that place for 8 months with no end in sight! Now he could put his bike in there and the SUV, too. They reviewed the plan for Monday and made two critical adjustments – Opie was going to start the meeting at 9 and Jax would remain with Gemma and the attorney, joining the meeting once the business with Gemma was concluded. And two, once Gemma arrived, they would phone Nero to join the members meeting. "Let's get this done, brother," said Opie.

Jax's final call was to Roger Mills. Everything was set on Roger's end and he would be at TM with security by 8:30. He would alert the Charming police once he was on site. "Get a good night's sleep, son, and I'll see you in the morning."

Jax took several deep breaths after the final call. He stood, then dropped to the floor, deciding he would run through his workout. He finished the indoor workout, grabbed a power drink from the fridge, took off his undershirt, put his hair up, put on his sneakers and took off for his run.

This was the end of a lazy Sunday afternoon in Charming and the streets were much busier than they were during the early morning weekday hours when Jax normally ran. But Jax noticed little of the sights and sounds. He checked his watch; by this time tomorrow, things would be settled one way or another. Though that would take a load off of his mind, the real work of rebuilding SAMCRO would begin right after. In fact, the work had started already with the meeting to find new revenue streams. Jax saw how desperate, unpredictable, and uncontrollable Clay became when faced with the prospect of an old age with little or no money (though Jax doubted that to be the case) and he was determined to have the club in a better position to take care of its own.

Jax then thought about his family. He missed them desperately and would give anything to have them with him right now. Miles had teased Jax last night about the fact that the radio was tuned to the local contemporary country music station rather than rock and Jax would not allow Miles to change it. "Damn, that shit is depressing. I've lost my girl, my girl left me, I had the best girl, now she's gone…Jesus Christ, man."

Jax's response was, "Don't touch that dial."

Bobby had then inched his way over to Jax and rested his hand on Jax's shoulder. "You left it pretty bad with her, didn't you? I think we all did."

"I've got to get her back, Bobby. I have to." Jax's eyes welled up but his tears never fell.

"You will, son. Keep doing the right thing. You'll get your family back. Do you talk to her?"

"I do," said Jax.

"That's a good start. Tell her hello for me and that I miss her and those boys." Bobby clapped Jax on his back and went back to work on the entertainment center.

So Jax would talk to Tara tonight for their scheduled call. She had phoned him Friday on a whim and it was the best thing ever. But he couldn't remember, was Tara supposed to call him today or was he supposed to call her? She gave him her new number, so he decided he would wait. If he didn't hear from her, he would call.

Jax entered the house having completed his run. He unlocked the door, disarmed the system, closed the door then rearmed the system. He had to admit that he appreciated the level of security that normal people with alarm systems enjoyed. He remembered smirking at Tara every time she would suggest that something was not normal. His retort of "what's normal?" was constantly at the ready. He clearly saw that there was something to be said for normalcy.

He felt protected for example, with armed brothers in his home watching over his family, and that certainly wasn't normal. Not only that but it didn't work. Cameron was a case in point. So it was not only not normal but also almost led to Half Sack's death. And what about all of Gemma's search and destroy snooping missions? All the armed brothers in the universe wouldn't have thwarted those. Gemma's snooping not only almost ruined Tara's medical career but also almost got her assassinated by Clay! Well, that was over with – the guarding and the snooping, at least as far as himself was concerned.

Jax went into the bathroom, stripped, and jumped into the shower. He scrubbed himself thoroughly, got out, dried off, and put his sweaty jeans into the hamper. He went to his dresser, fished out a pair of the sweat shorts, put them on and padded into the kitchen. He heated up the roast beef slices, veggies, and the garlic bread and sat down to eat. Jax was totally unapologetic about his use of a paper plate, and he quickly cleared the table and washed the cutlery when he finished eating.

No sooner than he was done with his kitchen chores, his Blackberry rang. Jax picked up the phone and said, "Hello," as warmly as possible.

"Hi, Daddy!" said Abel.

"Abel! I'm so glad you called. I miss you so much. Are you taking care of Mommy and Thomas?"

"Yes. I love you, Daddy. I take care of Mommy and Thomas."

"That's good, son. I love you too and I'm proud of you for doing that."

"Are you coming home?"

"As soon as I can, sweetheart. I have work to do. But as soon as I can. I love you very, very much, even though I'm not there right now. I love you always."

"OK – bye daddy. Here's Thomas."

Jax could hear Thomas squealing and cooing.

"Hi Thomas. I love you, son. I miss you."

Tara got on the line and took the phone off speaker. She excused herself for a minute, then came back onto the line. "Hey," she said. "How are you?"

"Hey, yourself. The important question is how are you? When we last spoke, you were tired and achy," Jax said.

"Getting better. I'm getting lots of rest and exercising moderately."

"Did you doctor approve the exercise?"

"Of course, I wouldn't do it otherwise. So I repeat, Teller, how are you?"

"Other than missing you, Thomas, and Abel? I'm OK. I was sitting luxuriating in my new living room thinking of you."

"Oh? New living room?"

"Yes. I bought new furniture, the brothers painted the room, and set up my laptop. Donna's gonna teach me all the laptop and Ipod bells and whistles, then I can start sending you my naked pictures," Jax teased.

"Don't you dare, Teller!"

"Oh, I dare," Jax chuckled. "You know you want to see them."

Tara chuckled, too. _She did want to see them. _"What possessed you to turn Martha Stewart?"

His head was telling him to leave it alone or keep it light, but his mouth had other plans.

"Hale paid me an unexpected visit and it didn't go well," he said.

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"Hale accused me of doing away with you, said you wouldn't leave him without a word first, because you two had 'grown close'. I interpreted 'grown close' to mean that you two slept together. We had a fist fight that destroyed most of the living room. I tore up the kitchen on my own after he left."

"But why would you do that?" Tara asked.

"Because I was convinced that you slept with Hale and you never told me that you and he became close."

Tara huffed. "You are such a fucking hypocrite, Jax! Of course, you were convinced. Didn't feel good, did it? The mere idea that I broke faith with you. Couldn't stand it could you? How would you have felt if you'd seen it, instead of just hearing about it? If you'd walked in, saw David and me naked, me riding his dick, then sucking it loudly, him holding me to his chest sucking my tits while he drilled my pussy rapid fire from underneath, me moaning like a whore begging for more…

"No wait, I would have to be you, so I'd be lying stretched out on the mattress flat, my legs spread wide, looking like I'd been steamrolled. David would be on top fucking me hard and deep, my hands clutching his ass cheeks to make him fuck me faster, my wedding ring clearly visible. The muscles in David's back, ass, and thighs straining to get in my pussy deeper, the look on my face pure, unadulterated…

"Alright, alright Tara! I get it. I get it! OK?!" Jax yelled. He was infuriated, his face and neck were deep red, because he didn't want to think about how it felt when he thought Tara fucked Hale, didn't want to picture Hale and Tara fucking, and he damn sure didn't want to revisit his episode of fucking Collette.

"Are you still…getting it, Jax? You should, you're a free man after all. Collette help you pick out the furniture?"

"Stop it, Tara! Just stop! She was at TM when I got there Thursday and I…."

"Of course, she was there, Jax. You made her your business partner and gave her the dick as a signing bonus to solidify the relationship. Is she still your partner? Of course, she is. She's not letting that go easily, not the business and definitely not the dick, not from what I saw. Let's be clear – if I hadn't walked in, you would absolutely still be fucking her," Tara snarled.

"That's not true…," Jax argued.

"Then you're lying to yourself as well as me," Tara retorted sharply.

"Tara listen to me – I've had women. I told you as much. But I have never made love to any of them. Only you, baby. Only you. Please…,"Jax begged.

"Do you know why you believed that I slept with Hale? Do you? Because you would have slept with the nearest thing with a pulse under the same circumstances, that's why! Oh! That's right! You did with Ima and you almost did, with your sister, Trinity!" She emphasized the word "sister".

Jax remained quiet. He didn't know what to say. This conversation had clearly gone off the rails - all he'd wanted to do was tell Tara that he loved and missed her. That he'd changed his living space and thought she would like it even though it was masculine, but there were no posters of half-naked women or Harleys. He wanted to tell her that he'd limited Gemma's access to him…

So Jax said the only thing he could. "I love you, Tara, and I want us to be a family again. You're right. I believed it because of my own behavior in the past. I put it all on you and I'm sorry."

"Well, at least you got some new furniture out of it," snapped Tara. "And not just heartbreak beyond anything you could have ever imagined. You have a wonderful night, Jax."

"Tara!" She disconnected the call.

Jax jumped up from his seat and made to throw the phone, but he came to his senses - he needed that phone. What the hell happened? He shouldn't have brought up Hale like he did. He didn't tell her about it during their last conversation and he knew he shouldn't have told her like he did no sooner than the words were out of his mouth…but what should he do now? Should he call her back? Should he wait for their next scheduled call? He would write her, that's what he would do. Jax got a tablet and pen out of the kitchen drawer and sat down at the table.

Tara sat on the sofa in her bedroom sobbing. Thomas and Abel had been put to bed so she was alone. She couldn't believe how viciously she attacked Jax. She was angry that he had the nerve to be upset when he thought she had slept with someone, but she already knew that Jax couldn't handle her cheating and she told him as much weeks ago. What she did was to go way overboard in an attempt to hurt Jax and she upset herself in the process.

Why was she consumed with the desire to hurt him so deeply? Because she herself was still hurting about the betrayal and angry about having to leave town like a thief in the night when she had done nothing wrong. Just a few days ago she was confident that she could get past…things, but here she was damn near back at the beginning again. Of course, the pregnancy hormones weren't helping. She decided in that moment that she would add psychological therapy to her regimen of care.

But what to do now? Something or nothing? Tara picked up her phone and pressed the button for the only number she had on speed dial.

"Yeah?" Jax said, annoyed at the interruption, but he'd answered on the first ring.

"Jax, I'm sorry, so sorry," she said, sniffling.

"Tara? Baby? I'm so glad you called. Don't cry – it's alright. I'm just glad you called me back," Jax responded. "I was panicked." He truly was happy that she called.

"No, Jax. It's not alright. I am not sorry for everything that I said," Tara explained. "Only those things that were meant to hurt you, that sex scene description, the crack about Trinity, Collette, my heartbreak. Those remarks were unnecessary. Why were you panicked?"

"Because I didn't want to leave things with you so angry at me. I worry about you, the baby, your health. I wanted to call you back but I promised to only call on Sundays and Wednesdays, so I was writing you a letter. I was afraid that you wouldn't answer any more of my calls."

"I will always answer," Tara said. "Will you forgive me?"

"Completely," Jax said. "I love you. I wish I could hold you right now and show you how much."

Tara closed her eyes and imagined Jax holding her; he had such delicious hugs and she always felt so safe and secure in his arms. Jax closed his eyes, too, and imagined that he was holding Tara tightly, willing away the world and all harm. She was his to care for, his to protect, always.

They spent the next 30 minutes just listening to each other breathe, but then Jax heard Tara yawn.

"Time for you to go get some rest, Babe. I heard that yawn. But I did want to tell you that I am confronting Gemma tomorrow with the information I received from the lawyers when we were in Lodi. Wish me luck?"

"Of course. But please be careful, Jax. Gemma is dangerous and like Clay, she's most dangerous when she's cornered."

"I will be. Thank you for caring. I've changed the locks to the house, put in an alarm system, I'm having guards on her tomorrow, and I'm giving the letters and by-laws to the brothers, so she'll have no place to run."

"What about Nero?"

"We're inviting him to the meeting to read the documents, too, as well as Chucky, Unser, and the prospects."

"Sounds like you've thought of everything," Tara said, "but still, stay on your guard, Jax. May I call you tomorrow night to see how it all went?"

"You may call me at any time for any reason or for no reason," Jax stated. "So until tomorrow…"

"Good night." They ended the call.

Jax pulled a small satchel from his closet, threw in a couple pair of jeans, his socks, a white dress shirt, boxer briefs, his sneaks, a pair of sweat shorts and a top, Sons and reaper tees, his cap, and a zippered hoodie. He also packed his laptop, Ipod and chargers and removed the Parcheesi and Uno games from the top of Abel's closet and placed them near his bag. All he needed now were his toiletries and he was set for a few days at Opie's.

Jax yawned himself, then went into his bedroom and laid across the bed on his back. He would finish his letter to Tara later, pleased that his letter would now have a happier ending.

**A/N: A little rough patch for the lovers but they are past it (I hope). Should Tara have flipped out again? Think she needs therapy? I am writing the Monday reveal chapter now. Stay tuned. Please review. SOA forever!**


	37. Chapter 37

Loose Ends Part III - The Queen Stands Alone

Jax was headed home from his Monday morning 10 mile run. He had skipped the other part of his workout deciding instead to have a have a light leisurely breakfast. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't anxious about this morning. Not only were there a lot of moving parts, there were numerous potential outcomes (not all of them good) and he could only hope that he had a plan in place for each and every one of them. Gemma was nothing but tricky and fast on her feet.

When Jax entered his house he walked immediately to the bathroom, where he splashed water on his face, dried his face, wiped the sweat from his body, and washed his hands. He went into the kitchen, poured himself an orange juice, sliced an apple and a peach and poured himself a smaller than Phil sized bowl of cereal. He was tempted to make another round of calls to Opie, Roger, and Gemma, but decided it wasn't necessary as he'd spoken with everyone yesterday evening. He took several deep breaths to calm himself and collect his thoughts.

He thought about Tara – how they'd sparred the night before. But she'd called him back, they talked things out and spent the remainder of the 'conversation' in silence, through which Jax had tried to convey his deepest emotions to her. He wished that she were here with him to still the furious beating of his heart, but she had asked to call him tonight so he would have to make himself content with that – for now. Jax finished his breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, took a nice hot shower, then dressed for his day. He went into the living room and waited for Opie's arrival.

It wasn't long before Jax heard Opie's truck pull into the driveway. Jax went into the garage, opened the garage door and Opie walked in. He noticed that Opie was wearing some new duds too. _Great minds Jax thought. _The two friends hugged good morning.

"You ready?" said Opie.

"Ready as I'll ever be," said Jax.

They worked together to move the tires and boxes from atop their precious cargo and Jax unlocked the bike cover. Opie lifted the banker's box of copies and Jax picked up the accordion folder. "Roger has everything that needs to be signed today," Jax said and Opie nodded.

"I'll wait for you in the truck," said Opie, taking a canvas cover for the box, not wanting to leave the box alone even for a second. Jax was backing his bike into the garage.

"OK," said Jax. "I'll just get my bag and lock up. I'll be out in a minute."

Jax closed the garage door and went back into the house. He put his kutte on over the blazer – his guns were already in their shoulder holsters. He tossed his toiletries into his packed bag and zipped it up, then carried the bag and the games into the living room and set everything by the front door. Jax dutifully checked the doors, the stove and the windows making sure everything was turned off or locked as appropriate, then he armed the system with the new security code, picked up his bag and locked the door, confident that his residence was safe. He put his bag under the cover with the box of copies in the bed of Opie's truck and climbed into the cab with the accordion file and the games.

"These are for Sam and April," Jax said as Opie eyed the games.

"Good – they'll love them," said Opie as they backed out of the driveway and headed to TM and the clubhouse. They rode in silence, with Jax looking at the scenery as if he'd never seen it before. In twenty minutes, they pulled into the TM lot.

It was 8:40. Jax noticed a black SUV with the hood up; a woman was standing with Bobby who was explaining something to her, but he didn't see Roger's car. Just then, Rat drove the TM tow truck onto the lot pulling a silver late model Prius. Rat parked near a service bay and unhooked the ride. It's owner, who had been in the truck with Rat, climbed out. He was wearing a baseball cap, was dressed in jeans and was carrying an attache case. Jax then saw Rat point to the office and go immediately into the garage and bring out a jack.

"That's the lawyer, Roger Mills," said Jax.

"Doesn't look like a lawyer," said Opie, as he lifted the box from his truck and started to the clubhouse.

"That's good," said Jax. "Don't want anyone tipped off. I'll see you in there."

"OK brother."

Jax went into the office where Chucky was sitting at the desk. "I'll take care of this customer," said Jax. "You go on into the clubhouse."

Once Chucky left, Jax greeted Roger Mills. "Is that your team member by the black SUV?" asked Jax.

"Yes," said Roger. "The other two are parked a block away but they are on foot now, close to TM."

Jax looked out of the window to see if he could see the other two guards. Instead he saw Gemma's Escalade pulling into the lot. Jax quickly phoned Nero and asked him to come to the clubhouse right away – that he was needed on a confidential matter in the chapel. At the same time, Roger phoned Hale to put him on alert that he might be needed at TM to serve an arrest warrant.

"I'll await your call," said Hale, highly curious about the goings on at TM so early on a Monday morning. He decided he would do a drive by just to make certain the landscape was calm.

Just then Gemma entered the office.

"Hi, Ma," said Jax.

"Good morning," Gemma said. She went over to Jax and gave him a kiss. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"It was productive," Jax said, as Gemma walked around the desk and took her seat. She put her purse under the desk and eyed Roger whose back was to her. He was seemingly engrossed in the old calendar shots of half - naked women.

"I believe you know this gentleman," said Jax and at that Roger faced Gemma and removed his hat.

Gemma gasped, jumped up from her seat and rushed toward the door. She got the door open, but two guards quickly ushered her back to her chair.

"Not so fast Ma," Jax said. "Where are you going?"

"I can explain everything, son. It was Clay – he made me…"

"Clay didn't make you do a damn thing, Ma. If anything, it was the other way around. You were jumpy and upset about JT's manifesto, so afraid that I would start to ask questions about what appeared to be my dad's plan for the club and his plan for me. Called him weak and cowardly. You thwarted my every attempt to leave here to be with Tara and my boys even for a few days vacation.

"I never - " Gemma started.

"Shut up Ma. Save it. I'm not done yet. Then. Then! Maureen Ashby sent me dad's old letters to her. Again, you snooped and lied to get your hands on those letters because in them dad claims that not only were you having an affair with Clay, but that you and Clay tried to kill him; the last attempt was successful, and you lied to Unser, preying on his feelings for you to cover up the murder. Clay killed Lowell, Sr, too, a loose end in the whole sordid mess. That's why Clay didn't want me involved when Lowell's body was found."

"Clay threatened me. I was afraid for my life," Gemma pleaded.

"You've never been afraid of a goddamn thing except losing your position as queen which was why you hated Tara so much. She tried to tell me about your wickedness so many times and I wouldn't listen. Not even when she was disabled from her job and almost lost her life because of the greed of you and Clay."

"I love you Jackson, more than anything, more than anyone….I tried to save Tara, got Clay to promise not to kill her."

"Do you hear yourself? You are also the one who told Clay about the letters in the first place and about Tara going to a medical conference, but Nitta was supposed to go with her – not me.

"If you love me so much, explain to me why you defrauded me out of the inheritance rightfully left to me by my father. That's right, Ma. I know about the will – not the first will, but the second will and I have an original copy. I know that you and Clay coerced Roger Mills to give you the second will, but you said it yourself, Dad always had extra copies.

At that, Roger produced a fully filed and executed copy of his dad's second will.

"You stole from me Ma, you robbed me of a quiet decent life, you robbed me of the ability to take care of my wife and sons, condemning all of us to the madness that has been SAMCRO's existence for the past 2-3 months. Do you know how many times during that period that a loaded weapon was fired at my head at point blank range, but failed to shoot? At least a half dozen times!"

Gemma flinched, never having heard about Jax's narrow brushes with death.

"So desperate were you to keep me in this life that you even threw pussy at me to keep me in line. And you have the audacity to tell me you love me. What kind of mother are you? Not even 1% of the mother that Tara is, or Wendy either for that matter."

Gemma was visibly shaken. Her eyes were filled with tears and her lips were trembling. She had this wild cornered look in her eyes which darted around the room as she tried to determine a move.

"I need my medicine," Gemma claimed, clutching her chest. She went to reach for her purse, but one of the guards grabbed it away from her and searched through it, finding no medication, but a fully loaded Glock and a loaded .38. She handed the guns to Jax.

"Here's what's happening right now, Mom. The MCs are meeting in the clubhouse, including Chucky, the prospects, Unser, and Nero."

Jax had seen Nero enter the clubhouse about 5 minutes ago. When Nero's name was mentioned Gemma's eyes grew even wider.

"They have been given certified copies of the letters, all of them, and a copy of the original by-laws of SAMCRO which they are all reading right now. There are also copies of the manuscript for the members to read at their leisure, copies of my dad's will along with illegal documents filed by you and Clay effectively stealing $2 million in life insurance, the family home, and TM from me. There is also an affidavit sworn to by Attorney Mills of the threat against his life and the lives of his wife and children made by you and Clay if he filed my dad's new will."

As Jax spoke, Attorney Mills placed the documents in front of Gemma.

Jax nodded at him to take over.

"Here's what's going to happen next, Gemma. We have you dead to rights on fraud, embezzlement, theft by taking and, this is the big one, the wrongful death of John Thomas Teller. You will be charged and arrested immediately unless you agree to the following:

"One - You will sign a quit claim deed for the family home effectively turning over the property to Jackson immediately. You will pay off any and all encumbrances for which the property is security.

"Two - You will issue cash payment to Jackson of $5 million within the hour." Jax looked at Roger as they had discussed giving Gemma longer to pay, but he trusted Roger's judgement and would wait to see how this played out.

"I don't have $5 million cash!" shouted Gemma.

"You'd better get it or you're going to jail within the hour," said Roger. "Since you are a flight risk, there will be no bail. Further, my client is generous. He is prepared to allow you to keep your jewels and vehicles and remain in the family home until he determines otherwise. He has a valid claim that these assets were purchased with funds stolen from him. So you'd better play nice.

"Three - You will sell TM to Jackson immediately for the sum of $1.00. Any and all outstanding TM financial obligations will be paid by you."

"But that's my livelihood!" Gemma exclaimed, in her best attempt to generate pity.

"It's not your livelihood. It's Jackson's livelihood back to the date of his father's death. He could claim profits back to 1993 but refuses to against my advice."

Gemma slumped in her chair.

"Four - You will immediately resign your position at TM and turn over your keys.

"Five - You are barred from executing any business on behalf of TM including banking, purchasing, etc., effective 8 am this morning. You are also barred from TM property immediately.

"Six - There will be an independent audit of TM accounts as well as SAMCRO accounts."

Gemma looked absolutely mortified at the idea of a SAMCRO audit. There were a few SAMCRO businesses for which monies never found their way into MC accounts, specifically, the monthly protection payments from Charming businesses, and skim on the gun money to the tune of 20% per transaction.

Roger continued. "Business settled between you and Jax relative to his inheritance does not negate independent action against you by SAMCRO or further action by my client based upon audit findings."

Gemma started to sob, loudly, sneaking peeks at Jax who remained resolute.

"Seven - There is also a 5 year restraining order in place barring you from any contact within 100 yards of Dr. Tara Knowles, Abel Teller, Thomas Teller, and any unborn progeny of Dr. Knowles and Mr. Teller. No phone calls, no emails, no letters, no visits."

"I can't even see my grandchildren," she cried. "That bitch kidnapped them. You should be going after her."

"You lost the right to see them when you gave Clay information that allowed him to put a hit out on their mother," said Jax.

Gemma ignored Jax's statement. "How could you do this to me, Jackson?" she asked.

"That is my exact question to you, Ma," Jax stated matter of factly. "Alls I'm asking for is a percentage of what I'm owed, left to me by the man that you wanted me to hate, a man who wanted to give Thomas and me a good and peaceful life. That's more than you ever wanted for me."

"Time's wasting Gemma," said Roger. "I've got deputies waiting. What's it going to be?"

Gemma looked at Jax, Roger, the pile of documents, and the guards. She sighed deeply and dropped her head to her chest.

"Where do I sign?" she whispered, defeated, and Roger pointed out the signature lines on each of the documents. After Gemma signed, one of the guards signed each one too, as witness.

"Now what about the cash, Gemma? JT left you $5 million in cash in 1993 which was the value of his holdings at the time. You stole another $2 million cash from Jax. So don't try to claim that you don't have the money. At 3% per year since 1993, that money has almost doubled."

Gemma sighed again. "I can do a wire transfer but I need an account number for Jax," thinking that this ploy might buy her more time.

It didn't. Roger removed a card from his pocket and handed it to Gemma.

"I need my Blackberry," Gemma said.

Jax was surprised at first that she had one, but then, _why wouldn't she_, he thought. The guard holding Gemma's purse removed her Blackberry from it and gave it to her. _ Gemma the queen of secrets…_

She took the phone, punched in some numbers and showed Roger the screen that read, 'transfer successful'. Roger removed his own phone, punched in numbers, checked the balance on the account and determined that the money had in fact been transferred. He then punched in additional numbers transferring the money to another account and sending a copy of the transactions to Jax's email. He showed the screen of the sent email to Jax with the transaction amount to Jax.

"What do you want to do now, Gemma?" Jax said. "You can go next door and speak to the members if you want because you will not be allowed on this property again. Or you can just leave. Choice is yours."

"I want to announce my retirement and say goodbye," Gemma said. She stood and arranged her clothes. "I need my purse."

"I'll carry it for you," said one of the guards.

Jax led the way, followed by Gemma. The guard stepped in line behind Gemma and all three walked over through the club house which was empty, as everyone was in the chapel. As they neared the chapel door you could hear the hubbub going on inside. Jax opened the door and stepped in, holding it for Gemma.

As soon as she entered the door frame, you could hear a pin drop. She looked around the room, struck by the looks of disgust, pity, anger, shock, disapproval, disbelief, and a host of other negative emotions, registered on every face in there – faces of people who at one time considered her to be a trusted friend, beloved queen, and counselor. One by one they diverted their eyes and turned their heads.

Gemma sniffed. "I'm going home now, Nero."

She looked at Jax when she said "home", since she was in the residence at Jax's largesse.

"Are you coming?" she asked, attempting to hold her head high.

Nero looked at Gemma briefly then lowered his eyes. "I don't think so, Meja," he uttered gently.

Nero removed his key ring from his pocket, took off the key to Gemma's house and handed it to her. She snatched it from his hand, turned and left, the guards following her to her car. Before Gemma pulled out of the lot, Unser came running from the club house, calling Gemma's name and waving his arms overhead. She stopped the SUV and Unser opened the car door and hopped in, the two of them followed by one of the guard SUVs.

After Gemma left, Nero excused himself from the meeting to go into the clubhouse. "I'll wait for you there," Nero said.

Jax responded, "OK." Jax then excused himself from the chapel and went into the TM office to speak with Roger.

"That went well," said Jax. "Thank you for all your help."

"Well, you and I aren't done yet by a long shot. There's a little matter of your father's family, starting with his twin sister's son, Zeus Andreadis, your cousin."

"I haven't forgotten," said Jax. "I just really needed to get this over with first. I'm going to meet with the brothers now then take a couple of days to clear my head."

"We need to get you set up with a couple of bank accounts and an investment account this week, so don't take too long of a respite. You shouldn't be walking around with thousands of dollars in cash. Makes people suspicious."

Jax smiled. "Suspicious of cash?" Jax asked.

"Yes," answered Roger. "You'd be surprised at the number of people who never carry cash at all. Some places don't even accept cash for purchases and you cannot rent a car or book a hotel room with cash."

"Wow – I guess I need to come into the 21st century," Jax commented.

"You're getting there," Roger said. "But listen, Stephan is going to follow me to file these documents. I am anxious to get them secured. I am going over to the law office in Charming and taking care of all the filings and deeds before I leave. Here is one original signed copy of everything for you. I will send you scanned signed copies for your records and see that Harry gets copies today as well. Then Stephan will follow me home."

"Can the guards keep an eye on Gemma for the next week? Who visits her, where she goes?"

"Already handled," said Roger.

Jax took the files and added them to his accordion folder. He decided that he would get a safe deposit box and put the folder in it. He couldn't believe it – not only was he now the sole owner of Teller Morrow, but also the family home with $5 million dollars in the bank to boot. All this and it wasn't yet 10 a.m.!

Jax shook hands with Roger and promised to call him before the end of the week. He then called Stan to come to TM and change all the interior and exterior locks. He asked Stan if he had the means to make copies of the new keys and Stan said he did and would bring his key duplicator. Jax also requested a quote for an alarm system. Stan said he would be there within the hour to handle everything.

Jax breathed a sigh of relief and went back to the chapel to talk with his brothers.

**A/N: So many of you were anxious to see Gemma get the smackdown. I hope that this chapter satisfied your bloodlust (smile) in that regard. But is she down for the count? This is after all, Gemma we're talking about! Please, please review and let me know your thoughts. **

**I'm afraid, though, that you won't read any further chapters now that this one is out of the way :(**

**SOA forever!**


	38. Chapter 38

Loose Ends New Beginnings – Part IV

The mood inside the chapel was sour to say the least. Members were talking about the contents of the letters, the by-laws, expressing disappointment that they had come so far away from SAMCRO's beginnings and the price extracted from them in the process. Bobby was talking about the come to Jesus meeting Jax had with them Thursday last and how Jax's words were even more potent given the revelations about Gemma and Clay.

Jax sat in his chair as the brothers spoke about how they had stolen, cheated and killed for a few thousand dollars when Gemma and Clay had the means to address the club's financial crises all along. One example given was when they borrowed 50K from LuAnn and never repaid her which lead to LuAnn and several of the CaraCara girls getting badly beaten. They talked about their incarceration at Stockton and how Juice had been stabbed while Gemma begged Oswald for the bail money when she could have posted for them herself, though that would have raised questions about how it was that she had the money. Chibs mentioned how the club took Half Sack's entire 15K purse for a gun deal with the Irish. They all agreed that Gemma and Clay deserved each other – the king and queen of using other people's money.

But mostly they were disappointed in themselves – they voted Clay in as president and kept him there even as they saw him driving SAMCRO into the ground with that back door Galindo deal, putting out hits on members and trusted allies, and at times sabotaging his own deals. Given all that, they were not surprised that Clay and Gemma murdered Jax's dad, nor were they surprised by the lengths the couple went to keep that truth buried. Piney filled the club in on the details.

Jax allowed them to vent a bit longer and banged the gavel. He updated them on what had just happened, including Gemma's firing, Jax's ownership of TM, and his cash payment. From there, he switched to some immediate club business.

First, Jax ordered Bobby and Chucky to begin an audit of SAMCRO finances. He also wanted to know about all distributions to members and payments between TM and SAMCRO. "Gemma will be responsible for any shortfalls or improprieties," Jax explained.

"What if she doesn't pay?" asked Half Sack.

"Then she goes to jail for fraud, embezzlement and sued for the wrongful death of my father. She absolutely will pay restitution to SAMCRO or she goes to jail. It's that that simple."

"Alright," said Bobby. "Chucky and I will get started right away."

"You accept that," said all the MCs, smiling at Chucky.

"Happy, as sergeant at arms, you are responsible for security. I'm having all the locks changed today and we're getting an estimate on a better security system. I need you to oversee that, get copies of the keys and distribute them to members as appropriate. Not everyone should have a key to everything and I trust you to work out who gets what and keep the records on it," Jax said. "The locksmith, Stan Leavensworth, will be here within the hour."

"I will take care of everything, Prez," said Happy.

"If it's OK, I'd like to give Happy a hand. I was a sergeant at arms in the Marines," said Koczik.

"Fine with me," said Jax. "Happy?"

"It's all good," he replied.

"Great. Now, speaking of records," said Jax, "we have a lot to figure out. Right now, the position of secretary is combined with treasurer and Bobby holds that position. Bobby is going to have his hands full working on the club's financial affairs, so I propose that we separate the positions and appoint a secretary." Vote: approved.

"OK – so now we need a club secretary. This person will keep official club records on the proceedings. The person should be skilled at documenting what we agree to, outstanding issues, but also have the wisdom to know what should and should not go into the notes. This is an important position, as are they all. But this club will no longer operate blind as to its direction and the rules on how to get there. We also," and Jax pointed around the room, "will not be making up shit as we go along like we did with the prison clause. You guys saw that clause in the by-laws, right?"

Crickets.

"I can't hear you!" said Jax.

"Yes," they all said.

Miles raised his hand. "I volunteer for secretary. I held the position for my college fraternity for 2 years, having to report to the state and national chapters and we had bi-weekly meetings, committees, and subcommittees which had to report. All I need is a computer tablet and internet access."

Jax nodded. "Sounds like what we're looking for. Anyone else what to throw their hat in the ring?" He looked around the room – no takers.

"I nominate Miles for the new position of club secretary." Vote: Approved.

"I can help with the internet access and the tablet purchase," said Juice.

"Good," said Jax. "You two handle it – you should probably start with some notes for today about the assignments, new club positions, etc. Oh, and we'll need new patches."

"I can handle ordering the patches," said Chucky.

"One more thing for today," Jax added. "I want to say a special thank-you to Piermont "Piney" Winston."

"Piermont?" said Half Sack. "You gotta be shittin' me!"

"Hey – Whole Sack Piermont can still kick your ass 'Half Sack'," said Tig, and everyone laughed good naturedly.

"As I was saying," said Jax, "I want to thank Piney. He was my dad's best friend, a co-founder of SAMCRO, the club's first VP, and he wears the First Nine patch as one of the first nine members. He never lost the vision of what SAMCRO was supposed to be. I value his judgement, wisdom, and friendship. Piney kept the by-laws, as well as a copy of my dad's manuscript and he used these documents to try to steer SAMCRO in the right direction when we were at our worst, at great personal cost.

"Piney gave Tara the by-laws, gave me the manuscript and challenged me to do the right thing for the club and for my family. So I want to give a big club level thank you to Piney…."

Members pounded the table to hoots of "Pi-ney, Pi-ney," and the old man grinned and grew teary – eyed.

"And, and," said Jax loudly over the members' din, "and I want to create a new officer level position, Club Historian. It is historian's responsibility to not only gather and maintain club memorabilia and documents like JT's manuscript and the by-laws, but also to train prospects in club history, starting with this current batch. The historian will also put together a training program for the current members on the by-laws as well. Vote: Approved.

"Most importantly," said Jax, "I nominate Piney Winston to the position of Club Historian. Are you willing to serve, old man?"

Piney sat up straighter in his chair. "Absolutely."

Vote: Approved.

V-Lin asked to speak and Jax nodded. "Training is a big job – there's the content of by-laws and club history as well as the physical documents. I would like to work with Piney on an efficient way to handle training using instructional technology and storing and accessing the documents digitally so they are never lost."

Jax nodded his head. "Sounds good. You ok with it, Piney?"

"Yep. Lets get started right away."

"Yeah, Piney," said Tig. "Maybe you can retire your denim kutte to the memorabilia…"

"The second my eyes close for the final time it's all yours," retorted Piney.

"OK then. We have in a lot to take in today. Let's close the garage except for pickups and celebrate new beginnings. Besides, I need a drink," Jax said with a smile.

"Before we adjourn," said Chibs, standing. "I want to thank you Jackson, for sticking with us, at great personal sacrifice, and having the courage to right this ship. We're not easy, but…" Chibs looked around the room, "and I believe I speak for every man here – we vow to do better, to be better men. I want you to apologize to Tara and those boys for me-"

"For us," said Happy.

"…for us," Chibs continued as heads nodded around the room. "We should have protected her better, even from you, Jacky-Boy. We should have dragged your ass out of that whorehouse by your hair, if necessary. I am truly sorry that Tara felt so unloved, so uncared for and so unsafe that she had to leave her home. Please ask her to forgive me - us. I - we love her and accept her as our queen."

"Here, here," said Koczik, and members again pounded the table chanting "Ta-ra, Ta-ra, Ta-ra".

Jax smiled warmly at this brotherly show of affection for his old lady. "I will pass along your message," said Jax, "and thank you." Guilt from his own part in causing Tara to run washed over him anew and he struggled to keep the despair and loneliness at bay. "OK, that's really enough for now…"

"Wait! Wait- one more," said Tig. Jax threw up his hands in defeat while holding the gavel.

"I want to thank Opie." Tig went on. "He handled a tough meeting today like the leader we all know he is. Opie embodies everything that SAMCRO stands for and aspires to be. He's quiet and thoughtful. Takes no praise for himself and stays in the background, but when its time to get shit done Opie is right out front. There is no one more trustworthy, just…and forgiving. Thank you Ope…for forgiving me and giving me a chance to rise to my best rather than to remain at my worst."

Again, the members pounded the table and chanted "O-pie, O-pie, O-pie". Piney looked at Opie with great love and pride, tearing up yet again. Jax lovingly clapped Opie on his back. The brothers didn't know even half of what Opie had done for him…

"That's enough," said Jax again. "Let's continue this love fest in the club house. Now, I really do need that drink!"

"So say we all," said Koczik.

The members all adjourned to the clubhouse, but Jax took Chucky aside in the chapel. "Can I speak to you for a minute?"

"What do you need Jax?"

"I was about to ask you," Jax answered. "I know that you and Gemma were close."

"I thought we were, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not totally surprised that she would rip off TM or the club. I noticed a few things when I would work in the office and whenever I asked, Gemma would tell me to ignore them or leave them for her to handle. I'll be OK though. I want you to know that you can trust me completely, Jax. No Lin-type tricks. You've always treated me fairly and with respect."

"That's good to know, because I'm depending on you. I'm going to need you in the office full time and I want a report from you and Bobby on where things stand, and quickly. OK?"

"I accept that," said Chucky with his trademark grin.

"Guess I'll have to find someone else to take over part time club house kitchen duty," said Jax under his breath, knowing that Chucky could hear him.

Chucky grinned even more broadly and followed Jax to the bar where the celebration was in full swing. After toasting the club and having several rounds of drinks, Jax and Opie headed over to pussy whipped corner with Nero, who remained quiet. Happy was escorting Stan around who was pretending not to notice the goings on, and Chucky and Bobby went into TM. Piney was sitting at the bar with V-Lin, Miles, and Rat, surrounded by crow eaters, as were Koczik, Chibs, Half Sack, and Tig, who were seated on couches.

Juice sat alone.

**A/N: Please review. SOA forever!**


	39. Chapter 39

Three Months Forward, No Months Back

_Friday Noon – Chicago O'Hare Airport_

"Ok, Thomas and Abel. You both behave yourselves and listen to your Uncle Jason and Aunt Mya. They are bringing you back on Sunday afternoon and your Dad will be here then to see you. OK?"

"OK Mommy. Are you sure Daddy is coming?" asked Abel.

"Absolutely baby. Wild horses would not be able to keep him away, he loves and misses you both so much. So you go on and enjoy yourselves and I'll see on Sunday when Uncle Jason and Aunt Mya bring you to the hotel. You will have all week with Daddy while Mommy works, OK?"

Tara kissed Jason and Mya and thanked them for taking the boys for the weekend. The Masons, their two boys and Thomas and Abel took off to the Masons SUV, while Tara took her bag to ground transportation to await the Omni Hotel shuttle. She would be staying at its downtown Chicago location for the next 9 wonderful days.

She arrived at the hotel without incident, checked in and went immediately to her Superior Corner Suite which featured a king bed, and a separate living area with desk, chair, TV, and a full sized sofa sleeper. Once the hotel room door closed, Tara breathed a deep sigh of relief. This was the first time she'd been away from the boys since they left Lodi 3 months ago to go to their new home in North Carolina.

To get there, Tara traveled with them to Houston first where they spent the night. Then on to Chicago for two weeks where they'd stayed with Mya and Jason. After that Mya flew with Tara to Fayetteville, NC, where she and the boys were currently living and Tara was working as a neonatal surgeon with a cardio thoracic specialty. Mya stayed with them for two weeks, watching the boys as needed and helping Tara get settled. Tara's employment started 4 weeks after her arrival.

One of her very first assignments was a consult with Dr. Griffin Fields on a difficult surgical case involving a preemie. As a result of that case, Tara co-authored a paper with Dr. Fields "Griff", which was submitted to an accepted by the New England Journal of Medicine. She and Griff were subsequently invited to speak at a medical conference here in Chicago. Tara was excited about the honor as it could potentially offer her a means to new career which would give her more time at home.

But this opportunity presented her with a dilemma - whether or not to ask Jax to meet her. It would do the boys good to see their father but she wasn't sure she could handle it. Tara was on an emotional roller coaster their entire time in Lodi; the pain of everything had her nerves raw. One minute she couldn't get close enough to him, the next she couldn't bear to look at him, let alone touch him.

Nonetheless, she missed him, and she still had not told him where she was living permanently. As far as Jax knew, she was living and working in Houston. She didn't tell him that – he assumed it since the flight she took was Stockton to Houston, but that was only the first leg of her journey. She hated the ruse but she still was not willing to take chances with their safety – hers and the boys. Jax understood when she refused to tell him her address and did not press her on the issue. The set up the means to have regular communication and Jax contented himself with that.

He had not only been true to his word to her, but he exceeded it in many ways. Through her attorney, he sent her books twice a month which he himself also read and discussed with her. (The last books were Lady Chatterley's Lover and the Story of O. Jax was nothing if not carnal, bordering on licentious. Tara gave a wicked grin thinking about Jax's behavioral examples.) Jax sent the boys books (including one for the unborn) twice a month as well and never missed calling them on Sunday and Wednesday. As he gained facility with the computer, he would record himself reading them stories and email her the file. He would send the boys toys, including age appropriate computer tablets with software subscriptions, Harley motorcycle models, and her personal favorite, doctor's kits.

Through her attorney also, Jax sent her $5000 on the first of every month beginning the month that she left Charming. He also sent her small gifts in addition to the books, including perfume, quirky toe rings, bracelets - some that were delicate, and some that were leather, an American Express gift card with the suggestion to use it on a spa day for herself, and her favorites, several floor length gauzy loose fitting pleated gowns in assorted colors. Her favorite was the one that matched her skin color making her appear not only naked, but also beautiful and ethereal.

He never missed making a Sunday or Wednesday phone call and Tara had taken to calling him an additional 2-3 days per week. He always answered her call promptly no matter what time of the day or night she phoned and he talked as long as she wanted.

Jax had also become a great active listener. He didn't offer much about his SAMCRO and TM activities, unless she asked specific questions although he did tell her that he got his full inheritance from Gemma. He told her on the day it happened, when she had phoned to check on him. That conversation dissolved into a bout of hot phone sex with a second round of it that same evening. Both sessions left her breathless, sweaty and surprisingly satisfied.

Instead, he asked about her, her health, doctor's office visits, the boys, how they were adjusting to life in the big city, her hopes, plans and fears, and was fully engaged in the conversation. He relayed messages from the club members too, like when they sent apologies, their love, and acceptance of her as their queen. She recalled crying uncontrollably when Jax shared that, making him frantic that he'd upset her.

Based on his earned laundry list of pluses, Tara decided to phone Jax and extend him an opportunity to meet her in Chicago to visit with the boys.

"_Jax, I've been invited to present a paper at a medical conference in Chicago in November and I wanted to ask if you'd like to meet me to visit with the boys for the week? They miss you terribly." I do, too, unspoken yet so true._

"_Yes! Yes! Of course I'll come! Thank you so much for telling me and inviting me. I can't wait. I miss the boys so much. I miss you so much, too," spoken and oh so true. Jax then took a few breaths. "Sounds like the invitation to present is quite an honor. So tell me about this paper and everythin'..."_

She did but first Tara gave Jax the dates of the conference, their arrival and departure times, and the hotel information.

But the most important reason Tara invited Jax was that she no longer had the image of him and Collette burning into her consciousness every second of every day. It had faded to where it was barely there. Also, Tara could talk with him without leaping on any opportunity to hurl hurtful comments about his dirty deeds toward her. And she could phone him without eviscerating herself for doing so – the old 'why do even speak to him after what he's done to you' no longer rearing its head.

She was healing. But did she forgive Jax? Yes, completely. Did she forget? No and she doubted she ever would but she had let go of the urge to punish him for that. Did she trust him? Not with her heart. Not by a long shot.

Though it was only 11:30 in the morning, Tara prepared herself a nice hot bath and stepped carefully into the tub. At almost 6 months pregnant, she was entering the phase where normal activities like standing up, sitting down, getting into and out of the tub were becoming more problematic. Her feet had disappeared weeks ago; she could no longer see them when she was standing normally. Her part time 29-hour per week surgical rotation was due to become full time, but she planned to ask to continue part time until she delivered, so tired and achy was she all the time, even with household help. She didn't experience this with Thomas even with the added stressors of her kidnapping and Jaz's incarceration. So she discussed this with her OB-GYN who assured her that no two pregnancies were alike and that everything was normal.

As she soaked in the hot water, she thought about Jax, who had no idea that she was talking to Donna once a week and that Donna was filling her in on the Charming goings on. Donna was working for Jax 20 hours per week and was training him on using the computer, helping him with research and also helping him to set up The J. N. Teller Group, a parent company for Jax's business interests.

According to Donna, Jax was working hard to expand Teller Automotive with new services. The company joined the San Joa Chamber of Commerce and provided regular, decent pay and benefits including health insurance to its employees. He had had the office and garage cleaned up, modernized and painted, and he put in a customers' waiting room and new bathrooms. There was van service now to drop off and pick up customers. Jax expanded the custom bike work and added custom car work as well, including work on old classic cars. He was using her old Cutlass as a model. Another new service was auto painting. He had hired 5 more mechanics and he was planning a grand re-opening for January.

Donna also said that Jax had purchased Unser Trucking, hired Unser to run it and expand it. But most surprising was that Jax opened a men's and boys' retail clothing store. Turns out Jax was quite the clothes horse with a great eye for style. She said that the town coined the phrase "MC chic" to apply to him, but that Chibs, Opie, V-Lin, and Miles were giving Jax a run for his money.

Donna told her that Jax had been elected the first president of the San Joa and Alameda County Council of MCs and Friends, an organization dedicated to keeping the peace. Jax conceived of the idea and sold it to TO, Lin, Alvarez, the Niners, Nords and others involved in organized unsavory activities in the NoCal area. The group kept a respectable and legitimate public profile by holding and sponsoring charitable events and donating to local charities. They even did periodic free workshops on motorcycle safety and caring for your bike.

Tara smiled then, recalling how Donna had teased her.

_"Go ahead and ask me, Tara. I know you're dying to know." Tara could hear the laughter in Donna's voice._

_"Is he seeing anyone?" Tara finally asked, holding her breath for the answer._

_"Absolutely not," Donna answered immediately. "And it is not because the women aren't trying. Jax's new air of respectability and maturity is his "bad boy" aphrodisiac on steroids! He could have three times the action now. But he's not even remotely interested. I have seen examples of this with my own eyes. Plus he actually stays here with me and Ope 2 - 3 nights week. Opie says that Jax sticks to him like glue at SAMCRO parties, when he goes, and never spends the night at the clubhouse anymore. He even has trained female bouncers at clubhouse events to keep the croweaters, porn sluts and whores in line. _

_"In case you were wondering, Nitta takes care of the house and cooks for him, oh, and guess what else? Nitta's dating Chucky!"_

_"What?" Tara exclaimed. "Oh my God! Never in a million years…"_

_"Um-hmm," Donna responded. "They met at Jax's house and bonded over food. Jax helped her start a catering business and she supplies food to the clubhouse on weekends. Helped her get 3 other catering contracts, too, right out of the barrel."_

Tara was so very proud of Jax. He was keeping and exceeding his promises to her and the boys, going about building a better life for himself in Charming, and building the Charming community, too. She began to wonder why he couldn't have done this when she was there – when they were together, but Tara quickly shut down that line of thinking as unproductive. Regrets were not allowed.

Tara smiled again. He must look really great now, not that he didn't before. He was running 10 miles every day. worked out 6 days a week, and he'd quit smoking. _God, his muscles must have muscles by now she thought._ She had always loved his body, even when he was a gangly teenaged boy. He used to tease her that she wanted him for his body to which she would reply "damn skippy". They would share a laugh together then make love as if the world were ending. Tara wondered how she would react at seeing him again after these long months.

She was starting to doze off in the tub, lulled by her wistful thoughts of Jax. So she got out, dried herself off then carefully lotioned her body with a fragranced cocoa body butter, though it was difficult for her to do her feet and legs. She decided to get an assistive device to help with that. Tara then went to her suitcase and removed her velvet bag of assorted vibrators. Thank God for these things – it was how she made it through Jax's incarceration. Damn she was horny! She'd put one to work then order room service and watch some TV.

No sooner than she removed the toy bag, she heard a gentle tap on her door. She thought that perhaps it was one of her colleagues from work. A number of people had come into town early to do a little sightseeing in the Windy City or to help with conference set up. She put on her long silken floral robe, tied it loosely around her waist and finger combed her hair. Then she opened the door just enough to peek through and she was greeted by the sight of the brightest smiling blue eyes…

**A/N: Well, look who it is!**

**Also, I want to add that getting a paper approved for a top tier journal like the New England Journal of Medicine is a long and arduous process. No way could anything get through from submission to publication in 3 months. I took a considerable liberty here for the sake of the fandom (and me). Please forgive. Next chapter coming soon. I love and appreciate the reviews – please keep them coming. Sons of Anarchy forever!**


	40. Chapter 40

You See Me – I See You

"Jax!" Tara screamed, opening the door fully. He was holding a beautiful bouquet of bright red roses and a shopping bag. Jax put down the shopping bag and extended the flowers to her.

"Hey Beautiful. Damn, it is so good to see you."

Tara launched herself at him, without plan or pretense, forcing him back into the hallway a step or two. Jax had instinctively opened his arms to receive her and the two hugged and kissed until they recalled where they were. Tara backed out of Jax's embrace slowly, continuing into the hotel room toward the living area while at the same time she ran her fingertips over her lips, burning from Jax's interrupted kiss.

Jax closed the door and approached her. He held the flowers toward her and Tara took them from his hand.

"They are so beautiful," Tara said, sniffing the fragrant stems. "Thank you." She smiled at him warmly. "This is quite the surprise. I wasn't expecting you, though, until Sunday."

"I know. I couldn't wait so I came early." Jax returned her smile. He eagerly looked into the bedroom, hoping the boys would hear his voice and come running.

"They aren't here, Jax. I'm sorry – they are spending the weekend with my friends here in Chicago who have boys their ages. They are there until Sunday but I can call and get them back here. They will be so happy to see you. Abel was double checking to make sure you were still coming just before they were picked up this morning and I told him that you absolutely would not miss seeing them."

"You are right about that. But no, let them enjoy their time with your friends. I'll have them for a whole eight days." _It ain't forever_ _but it will have to do – for now, Jax thought_.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's fine."

Tara sat down on the sofa and patted the spot next to her. "You look wonderful," she said. _The biggest understatement in the history of the world she thought._ "Come sit."

"Sure," he responded. As he walked toward her Tara checked him out from fully from head to toe. Jax's thick gold hair was long on top, raised moderately high with healthy body and combed slightly to the left. The sides were short but there was a little length showing from behind his ears. A golden beard framed his face starting at his jawline and his mouth was accentuated by a full goatee. His facial hair was trimmed neatly. Jax's full lips were pink and moist, his skin was tanned and glowing and his eyes were twinkling, bright and clear.

Jax was wearing a blue windowpane fitted jacket over of a light blue crew neck sweater that matched the light blue accent within jacket as well as the blue of his eyes. He wore slim dark denims and brown shoes. His broad shoulders filled out his fitted coat and his jeans hugged his trim hips and thighs like a glove. Tara could see a brown belt with a silver buckle peeking at her. He seemed taller than she remembered, larger somehow, but he moved with sleek lean grace and the confidence of a man who wanted for nothing. That last thought both upset and saddened her.

Tara's thoughts raced. _He doesn't need me – for anything...'Jax's new air of respectability and maturity is his "bad boy" aphrodisiac on steroids!' Donna had said._ _Maybe they knew like I do that the bad boy lurked just under the surface… _

Tara looked at Jax so hard and so long that she felt compelled to say something.

"You look really, really good, Jax." _Like you don't miss me a bit. Why do you have to look so fucking good?_

"So do you, baby. So do you. A true treat for these sore eyes." Jax said. He took her hand in his and kissed the back of it, open-mouthed.

Tara huffed, snatched her hand away, scooted away from Jax just a tiny bit and pulled her robe tighter around her, lowering her head to her chest. She fought back tears – she had never in her life felt like a frump…a fat ugly frump…until now.

Jax noticed the change. "Look at me, Tara. What's wrong? Tell me, babe, please."

She raised her emerald green eyes to his sky-blue ones. Tara fidgeted on the couch, tightened her robe further, clutching it at the top and angled her body away from Jax.

"Don't do that," Jax said, his voice low and sexy. "Don't turn away and hide that sexy full beautiful body from me. You're positively radiant with the life I put in you – that we created together. Your hair is longer, too."

Jax sat at the edge of the couch, reached into Tara's hair with both hands and smoothed it away from her face.

"It's even thicker and more lustrous than I remember." Jax looked at her face. "Your skin…"Jax pressed kisses on her cheeks, now flushed. He trailed one hand down her face and over her chin. Then he pulled at the top of her robe, baring her breast down to the nipple. He felt its softness with his fingertips then trailed his hand further down to her belly. His eyes slowly followed the path of his hand as Jax slid his hand slowly across her waist, his fingers splayed. Jax's tender loving touch was rewarded with a small baby kick and his eyes lit up with wonder.

Tara nodded and gave him a smile. "She recognizes your voice – I play the recordings of your bedtime readings. I don't know if this is really possible, but I like to think so." Then another kick as Jax continued to rub her belly. Tara looked at his face – there was no description for the pure happiness that he emanated.

"I missed all this wonderfulness when I was in Stockton and I don't want to miss anymore. Not again. Please let me enjoy it while I'm here. Please, let me enjoy you, baby," Jax pleaded.

Jax slowly pushed the top of Tara's robe off her shoulders, baring them. He hissed slightly as he looked at her porcelain skin, allowing his eyes to slowly travel across the swell of her breasts made fuller by the pregnancy.

He took her into his arms again planting kisses at the base of Tara's neck. He pulled her into his lap so that she was straddling him then he slid back on the couch, holding her with one arm while the other remained at her face. As she straddled him, her robe opened from the waist down. Jax loosened the tie and opened the front of the robe completely; it dropped further down her arms and pooled at her waist and on his lap. Jax lifted the silken fabric and let it flutter from his fingers.

Jax never took his eyes from Tara's face through all of this. Tara relaxed into Jax's one-armed embrace. He dropped the hand from her belly to her thigh, running it to her knee and back. Then he circled his hand to the back of her knee and then up her leg. Only he didn't stop at the top of her thigh this time; his hand travelled from the bottom of her abdomen across to the bottom of her butt. Jax hissed again, delighted to find that she was completely naked. Then Jax squeezed and palmed it before he trailed his hand up to her face once more. "You feel so damn good to me," he whispered, pressing a wet kiss to her mouth.

By this time Tara was trembling under Jax's touch. She couldn't take her eyes away from him – his pupils had darkened with need and his lips had parted. Jax wet them with his tongue just before giving Tara that searing kiss that caused her toes to curl. When Jax ended the kiss, he buried his face in the nape of her neck.

"You smell delicious, too," Jax murmured. "What's that you're wearing?"

"It's a pregnancy cocoa body butter – helps keep the skin supple to minimize stretch marks, but I'm not doing too good a job getting it on these days."

"No? Let me help," he said. Jax cupped Tara under her butt and he lifted her from the couch as if she were light as a feather. As soon as they stood, Tara's robe dropped to the floor. Her legs went instinctively around his waist and he carried her to the bedroom, laying her onto the king-sized bed gently. "Lie on your belly," he commanded. Tara wanted to shrink from him in her nakedness but the intensity in his hooded eyes wouldn't allow it. She turned over, resting lightly on her belly, supporting most of the weight on her slightly bent knees.

Jax took off his jacket and draped it across a chair.

"That's what you wore here, Jax?" she asked. "It's Chicago in the winter! You'll freeze to death!"

Jax chuckled and stopped walking. "I wore a topcoat, hat and gloves. I checked into my room and left everything there before I came down here to see you and the boys."

"You have a room here? The Omni has been booked solid for months. In fact, there's not a room anywhere in this city. I have colleagues staying in hotels in neighboring towns!"

"I made a reservation as soon as you told me you were coming. I didn't want to risk not being able to be close to you and the boys. They told me I got one of the last rooms. It's nice – on the 24th floor – great views of the city. I can see why you called Chicago your home for so long." _Your home away from me, Jax thought._

Jax went into the bathroom and washed his hands. He came back to the bed, squeezed some of the body butter into his palm, rubbed his hands together, leaned over, then laid his hands flat on Tara's shoulders, applying gentle, even pressure as he spread the thick cream across Tara's back and sides. He squeezed more and rubbed it into Tara's butt and thighs, then one more dollop, for her feet and legs. Tara purred as she lay there while Jax massaged her. He added more body butter and rubbed her feet, legs, and back once more, causing her to purr louder. Jax reveled in the sound.

"Turn over," he said, sitting down on the bed. He thought he'd have to repeat himself, but she eventually obeyed his command. "Open your eyes, Tara. I have something to say." She did.

"Please listen to me. I love you and I missed you so damn much. I'd like to say that the massage is innocent. Honestly, it started out that way. But it isn't anymore. Not for me. I want you so fucking bad right now that I can hardly stand it. But if you're not ready…. I don't want to upset you, cause you pain, so I'll just stop now, while I still can. That is, if you want me to. I mean, intimacy didn't go so well for us the last few times." Jax first looked down then back into Tara's eyes.

Tara lay still. Jax couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her face might have been unreadable, but inside she was in turmoil. She wasn't this nervous the night Jax took her virginity. She figured that the best thing to do would be to come clean with him. Perhaps a solution to their current situation would become clear to her as she talked. Because she certainly didn't have one now.

**A/N: Jax has been doing well, keeping his word to Tara. So Tara decides to voice her dilemma about whether or not she can go to the next level with Jax. What do you think? Should she or should she not? Also, in case it isn't clear from the title, this chapter takes place three months from their last meeting. Please, please review! I didn't hear much from you about the Gemma beat down Chapter. As always, SOA forever!**


	41. Chapter 41

New Chapter

Goodness but No Mercy

"Though the horrid memories especially of you and Collette aren't completely gone, Jax, they have faded to the point of being a non- issue. I also no longer hate myself for having loved, supported, and wanted you.

But what remains, Jax, is fear – fear of going into the depths of depression again and having to fight out of it again as a result of trusting you and believing your promises. To say it more plainly, I still don't trust you nor do I believe everything you say. I can't afford to given all I've been through and all I have to do now with my job, the boys, and the birth of the new baby.

I say all of this to say that I would like very much to continue…with what we were doing. But I'm not implying any future commitment to you, nor will I infer one from you. We can enjoy each other totally and completely, while you are here."

She looked away and Jax shook his head, despondent. On the one hand, he was happy that she had gotten past the worst of his betrayal and its side effects. Jax was hurt that Tara still didn't trust him or believe him. But he was sad, too - because he wanted commitment from Tara and he wanted to commit to her anew. _Guess I'll have to wait to give her the ring I brought, Jax thought._

He allowed himself to be disheartened for a few moments then reminded himself that he was in it for as long as it would take to get his family back. Jax then began again to be happy with their progress and that making love was now possible, though it was without strings, strings that Jax wanted very much.

He wanted to be with Tara, physically, and he wanted it to really mean something like it used to, though she came to believe that it never meant anything to him. But she was wrong, it meant something to him before, and it certainly meant something to him now! Jax could not deny that it was his own actions that caused her to feel the way she does and he took full responsibility. He only wanted a chance to get past the distrust and disbelief, too.

Jax wondered for a moment if he should refuse intimacy, that maybe not being intimate with her might convince her of his heart. But he decided against that, believing that they could only find their way back together by holding fast to each in any way they could. This door was opened and they needed to walk through it, together.

Jax sighed. "I understand," he said, giving her a weak smile. She returned it and averted her eyes.

**A/N: SMUT ALERT! Stop here if smut is a problem for you.**

"Look at me, Tara."

Jax stood up and began to remove his clothes, starting with his shoes and socks. He never took his eyes from hers, even as he stood in front of Tara stark naked. _He was magnificent, she thought. _Tara held out her hand and Jax stepped closer to the bed so that she could touch him. Tara rested her hand at Jax's neck, then trailed it down his chest. She first paused at his nipple, scratching at the caramel colored nub until it grew hard, Jax's stomach muscles fluttering and her nail flicks. She next ran her hand over to the tattoo that read "Tara", placed on his rib beneath the "Abel". She paused there as well and looked at Jax with a question in her eyes.

"I wanted you with me always," Jax said. "The placement is a reminder that you're part of me."

Tara didn't comment but continued her exploration by running her hand across Jax's 8-pack abs, but she stopped at the top of his groin. He covered her hand with his and steered it to rest on his penis and balls. She could feel his engorged member twitching as Jax continued to stare, his breathing becoming heavier and heavier. She finally gripped him with the pressure she knew he loved and began to stroke him slowly. Jax's stomach muscles began to ripple in response.

"Scoot over," he said, and he knelt on the bed next to her while she continued to stroke him. Jax reached for the body butter again, then rubbed it over Tara's breasts, sides, and belly. Tara's eyes were closed and she was moaning with every exhaled breath, all the while squeezing and tugging his cock. Jax rubbed more of the balm into Tara's legs and feet.

"Open your legs," Jax whispered. Then he again added body butter to his hands and redid her abdomen, only this time he rubbed her mons and her pussy, sliding his fingers through her folds and across her clit. "You're so wet, so fucking hot and wet."

Jax continued to press and rub her. Tara moaned louder and arched her back, pressing herself into Jax's hand at the same time.

"I want this," he murmured. "I want to get to know you…the you that you are when you're

away from me. I want to get to know your body, your pregnant body. I want to know what's

different or the same, what you like, what makes you shiver and tremble, what makes you

scream…"

Jax crawled in between Tara's legs and inserted two fingers into her, flattening himself against

the mattress. Jax sucked his teeth, "So hot and tight," he said. Then he swiped his tongue

across Tara's folds. Again, again, again. He grasped her thighs tightly, holding them apart. That

done, Jax finally latched onto Tara's dripping pussy and he increased the pressure, the pace.

Tara screamed in ecstasy as Jax's lips and tongue worked their magic. She twisted and thrashed,

pled and cursed, but he still held her fast, burying his tongue in her even deeper. Jax lapped at

her clit, shaking his head and humming to increase her pleasure.

"Fucking bastard", she spit out at him between hisses and grunts deep in her throat. Jax

lightly smacked her hip in a wicked response, but he continued his loving.

"MMMMnnnnn, MMMMnnnnn, MMMMnnnnn," Jax kept repeating. "Your pussy's even

sweeter than before. I can't get enough." Jax continued thrusting his tongue into her, deep,

circling his head. Tara was struggling , turning, and trying desperately to pull away from him,

but Jax he held her firm, giving her no mercy.

He could feel that Tara was close, so close. Upping the stakes, Jax again slid fingers into her wet

channel – three fingers this time. At the same time he increased the pressure of his mouth,

pinching her clit with his lips. Tara screamed again, cursing heaven, hell, and…him…again.

"Mother of …."

Then, suddenly, she just exploded into his mouth. She was so completely consumed by the

pleasure of what he was doing to her, hypnotized by the intensity she felt from her nerve

endings set on fire by her lover. She arched her back, crossed her arms over her breasts, her

eyes shut tightly, lifting her head, then throwing it back into the pillows, repeating the actions

over and over.

Jax quickly rose to his knees, even as Tara continued to quiver in ecstasy. He

wedged his body between her thighs and entered her, balls deep, thrusting and circling his hips

hard, clenching his butt cheeks, but he was careful not to put his weight onto her belly. Tara's

pussy hugged and released him continuously during her orgasmic spasms, the pressure and

release causing him to groan and shout her name.

"Tara – ughhh, mmmmm, Tara, your pussy is so tight, so wet…so good…give it to me, baby…I

want it…all of it."

As quickly as she finished the throes of her first orgasm, Jax's powerful movements hurled her

toward the second. She never came so quickly with any man before him. Never had orgasms

from oral before him. Never had more than 1 orgasm, when she had them at all, before him.

Only Jax could…only Jax.

"Uughhhhhhh…oh Jax," Tara moaned breathlessly, even as her body began to quake again.

"Take it Jax, take what you want…what you need…so good…so fucking good."

Jax pulled out of her, suddenly, earning himself an "Ohhh" from Tara. He knelt onto the bed,

hooked Tara under her arms and crawled to the opposite side of the bed, dragging her with him

until her head was hanging over the edge, her breasts pointing upward toward his mouth. He

lay to Tara's side, turning her face to him. Jax held the back of her head with one hand and

rested the other on her belly, rubbing small circles there.

"OK?" Jax asked, his concern obvious.

"Yes," Tara said. "More than OK. You?"

"Much more than OK."

Then Jax pulled Tara in for another deep and sensuous kiss, which Tara returned with fervor

and passion of her own. She stroked his face again, nuzzling his nose with hers. Jax responded

by holding her head back and nipping at her chin. He raised himself up and traced down her

neck across her collarbone with his tongue as Tara leaned back to give him better access, her

eyes closed. He traced across the top of her breast then down to her nipple, which he teased

with his mouth.

"I have always loved your breasts. They seem fuller, now. Pregnancy?" he asked, but didn't

wait for an answer. "You are perfect for me", he growled and opened his mouth wide. He

fastened it to as much of Tara's breast as he could, sucking ferociously, using his tongue to lick

and lave and his teeth to nip while sucking as if he were starving.

Tara tangled her hands in his hair while moaning deeply and writhing under his fevered touch.

After trailing kisses across her chest to the other breast and showering it with equal attention,

he slightly shifted his body, so that he rested on her lightly, gazing lovingly at her beautiful face

– flushed with the glow of his loving. Jax entered her again, slowly, both of them sighing at the

contact. Tara was gasping – each time she thought she held all of Jax, he moved inside her

another inch more.

Finally, he was all in, and he began to move. "I am yours, Tara, please be mine," Jax growled,

issuing both threats and filth, muffled against her hot skin. He licked the sweat from between

her breasts. When Jax raised his head, he saw that Tara's eyes were glazed. He could feel her

hands tightly gripping his sides. Though six months pregnant, Tara's hips twisted and thrust

against him, meeting him thrust for thrust, each taking what they needed from the other.

Tara could feel that Jax was close, so close…his rhythm broke - his stroke was erratic yet strong.

She leaned upward, caught Jax's nipple and raked it with her teeth. She stroked his sides,

whispering filthy things back to him, things that turned him on and drove him closer to his first

orgasm. Totally outside of his control, his hot seed burst from him. Jax threw his head back, and

still thrusting, sat back on his haunches, lifted Tara's hips and rubbed her against his draining

cock. Jax's breath hitched.

"Ah, ahhh, ahh", he roared. "Tara…I love you…so much."

Even as Jax was in the throes of his release, Tara's body trembled again as a second orgasm

overtook her.

"Ohhh, ohh, Jax," she cried out, scratching at his back.

But he wasn't through with her, not by a longshot, not when his dick was still rock hard with his

desire for the long absent love of his life.

Jax gently laid Tara on her belly, used his legs to push her legs together, dug his hands into the

flesh of her buttocks, and pushed into her, sighing. "Tell me if this is too much. Promise me."

"I will, I promise," Tara said. She inhaled sharply when Jax began to grind against her, screwing

deep. Tara looked over her shoulder at Jax, amazed anew at his stamina. The love that she saw

in his eyes weakened her. She reached behind her and cupped his face and he dipped his body

so as to reach her mouth for a passionate kiss. Tara began whispering filthy things to him again,

loving the reaction she got from him the first time. He smirked and, still screwing into her, he

wrapped her hair around his hand and pulled her head back for another kiss.

With a throaty groan, he pulled out of her again, rolled her to her back and gently lowered

himself onto her. Tara instinctively opened her legs wide and wrapped them around Jax's back.

Using his body for leverage Tara circled her hips, bumping against Jax roughly, stroke for stroke.

Jax loved when she wrapped her legs around him trapping him, closing the circle of their loving

and passionate congress. The air was charged with the smell of their sex, joined by sounds of

wet slapping flesh, heavy breathing, and secret whispers. The lovers clung to each other

desperately.

The lovemaking continued. Tara's hands made circles on Jax's back, her manicured

nails raking his skin, burning him every place she touched.

Jax rose to his haunches again, and slowly unfastened her legs, grabbed her ankles and spread

her wide.

"Stay open for me baby. I want to see what we are doing to each other. So hot…so hot…wanna

see?", he asked, mischievously.

"Yes, yes", Tara answered. "I want to see you what you are doing to me…watch your beautiful

big wet dick going in and out of me."

Jax grinned wickedly at the characterization of his dick and stopped his movements as did Tara.

He grabbed a pillow, she lifted her butt, and Jax slid the pillow under her. Then he went back to

work, grabbing her ankles again.

Jax moaned deep in his throat on his every exhaled breath, watching their privates rubbing and

bumping against each other. He could see the sweat down there from their labor, not knowing

whose was whose.

"Damn, damn, damn", Tara shouted, as she lifted her head to watch their fucking, her hands on

Jax's shoulders. "I'm coming again…."

Jax, still on his haunches, dropped her ankles and used the fingers of one hand to rub her clit.

The other hand he placed at her throat, being careful not to squeeze. Tara rested her hand on

the hand at her throat in approval and with the other, she dug into Jax's ass with her nails.

"Jax…Jaxnnnnn", she screamed.

"Tell me, Baby. I want to hear it...I need to hear it. Please," he yelled.

"Yes, yes, Jax. I love you, I love you," Tara screamed.

Another orgasm more powerful than the first and second gripped her. At the same time Jax

bent down, bit her breast, and released his seed deep inside her. His whole body clenched and

spasmed with tremors that he could feel from the roots of his hair to his toenails. After

expelling his breath in a series of loud cries, he breathlessly uttered, "I love you, too, Tara.

Never doubt that, never forget that." He pressed loving kisses to her face and mouth and rolled

himself to her side, cradling her like the precious thing that she was.

"Thank you for giving me this," Jax whispered. "I know it wasn't easy for you to get to the

place. Though I heard what you just said, this really means something to me," he confessed.

By this time the bed was drenched with all types of bodily fluids and the sheets were asunder.

But the couple held and stroked each other, petted, kissed, and nuzzled, not feeling any

discomfort. After a while, their breathing returned to normal and they felt a chill. Jax pulled the

duvet over them and they lay back comfortably for the time being, after finding a dry spot on

which to rest in the king sized bed. He kissed Tara again, lovingly.

"When did you say the boys are coming back?" Jax asked.

"Sunday at 11," Tara said. "We were expecting you at noon."

"I'm a dead man," Jax said.

"You'd better not be - not til after Sunday, anyway," Tara said laughing.

Then Jax felt a hard something poking him in his back. He reached behind himself and pulled

out Tara's velvet bag.

"What's this?" he asked innocently.

Tara took the bag from him. "I may show you if you're a good boy," Tara stated, putting the

bag aside.

"Oh goody," Jax said. "You know how I love a surprise!"

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Know what the title is a play on? Let's hear it. Please review. Have a safe and wonderful Labor Day. I'll probably have something for you after. Sons of Anarchy forever! **


	42. Chapter 42

Dinner Is Served

Jax and Tara lay under the duvet, fast asleep, having loved each other almost to a point of exhaustion. Tara was the first to awaken, hours after they dropped off, her head in its customary spot on Jax's shoulder, her hand on his chest, and her leg thrown carelessly over his. She moved her head just enough to see his face – so peaceful and beautiful. She recalled a time not long ago when Jax's torment crept into his rest until his eyes were rimmed with dark circles, his cheeks sallow, and his hair dull and straw like. Not anymore Tara thought – Jax's countenance was not only gorgeous but it radiated a healthy glow and Tara allowed herself a small smile.

She raised up and began planting soft kisses on Jax's shoulder and chest. Inching her body downward, she licked across his nipple, the side of his stomach, then over to his navel, dipping her wet tongue deeply into it and at the same time sliding her body between his legs. Tara raised to her knees, leaned over, and tracked lower with her nose and tongue.

When she reached his groin, her attentions became rougher. Tara pushed Jax's thighs apart, relishing the feel of his hard quads and hamstrings. She nipped at the skin of his groin and pulled at its fine golden hairs with her teeth. By this time, Jax's eyes were wide open and he was watching Tara with great intensity and desire, rubbing his hands over her head, shoulders and back, his ab muscles twitching with each small sting, his sighs, audible.

Tara looked up at Jax as she continued to nip him, his hooded blue eyes mesmerized by what she was doing to him.

"Do you want it?" she asked softly.

"God yes, please," Jax strangled out, his hips rolling in invitation.

The look on Tara's face inflamed him and his member started to quickly stiffen and rise, accordingly. Tara allowed its shaft to thump against her palm and she dipped her head, sucking Jax's balls into her wet mouth. She gently tongued them, pressed and massaged them between her lips. She wet them, the blew her hot breath against them, earning herself lusty moans from Jax. He had fisted the sheets as he continued to watch her and fill the air with raspy whispers of his pleasure.

The attention continued for a good while. Then Tara licked up the underside of Jax's dick with her tongue pressed flat against its underside, smashing it harder against her palm. When she reached its tip, she dropped her hand and took it fully into her mouth, raking its hood and edge with her teeth, then resuming compressions with her lips tightly around it as she slowly slid all the way down to its base, her nose and mouth bumping against Jax's groin. She held there, squeezing then easing the pressure. She pulled on him, hard, her cheeks sunken, as she started to suck and rub the underside of his dick with her tongue at the same time, moving her mouth up his shaft to the very top.

Tara continued this maneuver but increased the speed, considerably, her head bobbing up and down. Jax was grimacing, baring his teeth and bucking his hips hard even as he begged her.

"Don's stop. Please don't stop. Ughh….. ughh….. ughh…," he uttered, in time with her sucking. Jax had raised up, legs still apart, his feet planted flat on the mattress and his hands covering Tara's hands as she clutched his thighs.

Still on her knees, Tara worked Jax's dick, more…more….

"That's it, baby." Jax sucked his teeth. "Harder, harder, faster, faster." She obeyed him. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, then began panting. He placed his hands at the sides of Tara's head, his thumbs on her cheeks and his fingers in her hair.

From this point on Jax's cries never stopped. "Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh," Jax moaned with each exhaled breath. He held Tara's hair away from her face, pressing her face into his crotch simultaneously. His lower body, from his hips to his knees, pumped against Tara's hot wet mouth, the rapid pace set as if he were afraid she'd stop the pleasure.

Tara was groaning, too, slurping and sucking Jax as if he were the most delicious treat ever. "You taste so good, Jax. So so good, baby," she mumbled, her mouth full of him.

"Ahhh," he said, feeling what she doing to him not only through his dick, but through his hands as well, this whole experience singeing him like fire and ice combined.

"Ahhh", he said, hearing the sounds of Tara blowing him, hard.

"Ahhh," he said, feeling Tara dig her nails and fingertips into his ass cheeks, holding him in place, scratching and clawing at him, and Jax thought he would lose consciousness he felt so good.

He was trembling all over now, struggling not to explode into her mouth. Then Tara pulled her mouth off of him with a loud pop and a guttural extended "mmmmmmnnnn". She sat up, looking into Jax's eyes sexily, then Tara smacked her lips as if she'd just finished a delicious meal. Jax didn't have time to react because she then quickly straddled him, resting her palms on his chest.

Jax was so hard and Tara was so wet that he easily slid into her pussy. Tara began to ride him slowly at first, her hips working him. She gradually increased her speed until she was screwing him hard with her whole body, so hard that her torso and shoulders were shaking, breasts – bouncing. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy as Tara hissed louder and rode harder. Her hips were pumping, and she moved her hands, raking her fingertips over his torso and she began to pinch and roll Jax's nipples.

"I love playing with your nipples," Tara hissed as she continued riding.

Jax sighed in deep satisfaction, stretching his body to its full length beneath her, his arms spread wide at his sides like the full wingspan of the crow, while Tara continued riding him hard and fast.

"Aawwwgh," was Jax's response to the heat from the friction of her wet pussy sliding up, down, and around his cock. He grunted with every slap of her body against his.

Now Jax sat up, resting on his elbows, his mouth open into a wicked, lopsided grin. He raised up further, and sucked Tara's hardened pointed nipple into his mouth. He licked, sucked, nibbled, chewed, then released the morsel, now shining and wet from his attentions.

"I love playing with your nipples, too," Jax rasped.

As he lay back, he spanked both of Tara's ass cheeks simultaneously with his open palms, hard, looking at Tara's face with an intensity that would have frightened a lesser woman.

"Yes," Tara screamed. "Do it again," and she bounced on him harder still.

"That's it, give it to me good," Jax shouted, granting her command for another spank.

Tara growled at him in return, continuing to bounce for a while. After that, Tara laid on his chest, now sucking his nipples, grinding him. Jax held her tight, one hand at the back of her head, the other around her waist. He began jack hammering, using his feet and legs as his power source. Jax began to run his hands over Tara's back, her plump ass, back up into her hair as he thrusted rapid fire. It took Tara a moment to catch his rhythm, but once she did, she threw it right back at him, sliding, wriggling and grinding her whole body against him as if she didn't have a bone in her body.

Jax and Tara were both breathing as if they were on the last leg of a marathon. Jax gripped Tara's hip and supported her back as he leaned them to one side. Tara straightened out one leg, and hooked the other at his hip. A lascivious moan escaped Jax's lips as he grinded her and thrust into her at the same time. As soon as Tara heard him, she let one loose a moan of her own.

"Unnnn, you feel so fucking good," she said, realizing the true definition of bump and grind and loving it.

The pair lay forehead to forehead, kissing, stroking each other with hands and genitals. They whispered, they shouted. Eventually, Tara none too gently rolled Jax over so he was flat on his back again and she sat up straight on top of him. This time, she "released" her hips somehow and she started to dance on his dick. Her butt cheeks clapped, shook, clenched, circled round, up and down and back again. Tara raised her arms, lifting her hair as she used her back, hips and legs to fuck Jax thoroughly.

"Ohhhh, ohhhhh, ohhhhhh, ohhhhh,, shit, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" shouted Jax, panting. "Don't you dare stop. Don't you fucking stop!" he threatened.

He smacked then palmed Tara's ass cheeks, enjoying not only the sensations of what she was doing to him, but feeling the motion of her bottom maneuvers through his hands. He heard the sounds of the wet slapping flesh on flesh and the squishy pussy he was getting, smelling their sexing in the air, mingled with their sweat, seeing the extreme pleasure and exertion on her face. Jax rose up and licked the salty sweat from Tara's neck and chest. Tara released hr hair and it fell heavily down her back and she once again rested her palms on his chest.

By this time, Jax was so far gone that his mouth was open but he was unable to make a sound, his throat sore from all the noise he'd been making. So he just buried his head deeper into the pillows, eyes now closed tightly again.

Tara, sitting high, leaned back, still on Jax, hard and deep. She looked at him, so sexy as he lay beneath her. Strands of his hair were wet and plastered to his face and he was covered with a fine sheen of sweat. He had reopened his eyes and hadn't taken his eyes off her for the past few minutes as she screwed him lustily. She moved her palms to his thighs then to his knees. When she felt the sweat there, too, Tara knew then that she was giving it to him good, without fail, as he had loudly commanded earlier. She grinned.

Jax arched his back fisting the sheets so hard they came loose from all four corners of the bed. He found his voice again but the sounds he was making were unintelligible. Tara joined him for a duet of sexual cacophony.

Jax now began to groan from somewhere deep in his belly and he gripped Tara at the waist tightly, his fingers splayed across her back. Tara dropped her head to her chest, her body jerking and her hips snapping uncontrollably as she reached her orgasm. She cried out Jax's name, over and over, even as he thrusted his own release deep inside her. His back arched, his legs rising from the mattress then falling to it, again and again, his toes were spread wide. Every muscle in his body strained as he grunted harshly with each spurt of his fluid into Tara's body. He raked his nails down her back, clinging to her helplessly, and he felt Tara spasming hard gushing her own hot fluids over his cock.

"Tara, Tara," he yelled, not even realizing he was doing so. "I love you, Tara, I love you."

He looked up at his lover, his woman, his wife, and she was totally undone by the lightened clarity of his beautiful blue eyes, revealing his soul to her.

"I love you too, Jackson. i love you, too," she softly whispered.

As soon as he could, Jax sat up, and wrapped Tara's legs around his waist and she sat on his lap. Both Jax's arms were around her as the two shivered against each other in spent passion, him still inside her. They kissed forever, Tara's hands tangled in his wet hair pressing him to her as pressed their mouths together in open-mouthed kisses, probed each other's mouths, circled each other's mouths with tongues, sucked each other's tongues, all while soul gazing lovingly. Jax tore his lips from hers and began to lick her neck, sensuously, before finding her mouth again. He then fell back into the mattress still holding her tightly.

As they continued kissing passionately, Tara's stomach suddenly growled so loudly and for so long that the pair burst out laughing.

"Ummm – I'm must be really hungry," Tara said.

"Not surprising," Jax said. "You must have worked up quite the appetite."

"I guess so," said Tara, with one eyebrow raised. "Is that a complaint?" she asked.

"Nope," Jax quickly said. "That's about as far from a complaint as any comment can get. No sirree – I am SO not complainin', darlin'," Jax exclaimed. "Besides, I'm really hungry too," he added. "Why don't you have a quick shower, and I'll call room service. What would you like?"

"Just order me whatever you're having," Tara said and she left their bed and ducked into the bathroom but not before Jax pulled her to him for one more kiss.

By the time her shower was finished, Jax had repaired the bed, plumped the pillows, and turned back the covers completely so the sheets could dry. Tara's silky robe was hanging in the closet, and his clothes were picked up from the floor and folded neatly. He had also laid a hotel robe and slippers out for Tara. The room still smelled of their sex and Tara found that she liked that.

Jax walked in before she put on the robe and he pulled her in for a warm hug and kiss. She noticed that he was wearing a hotel robe, too, and carrying a bath towel. He then spread the towel onto the mattress.

"Here, lie down," he said and Tara lay down on the towel, wiggling her body until she was completely comfortable.

Jax walked into the bath, washed his hands and returned. He picked up the body butter and opened the lid. At Tara's look he said, "I'll be a good boy, I promise. I ordered us dinner and it will be here in about an hour. Besides, I want to shower before it gets here, so lie back down and relax."

Tara did, and within 15 minutes Tara was moisturized from head to toe and she was lying comfortably on her belly, purring like a kitten.

Jax smoothed Tara's hair away from her neck, kissed it, and covered her with the robe.

"You rest a bit and I'll be right out," Jax said.

Jax went into the bathroom, relieved himself, flushed, found the complimentary toothpaste and brush, used it, then hopped into the shower. He saw Tara's bath products on the shower shelf, but he reached for the hotel products - Crabtree and Evelyn. He took a whiff before using the bath soap – not wanting to smell like fruits and vegetables. He pronounced the scent acceptable and began to scrub.

As Jax washed himself, he thought about his boys. He missed them so much and could hardly wait to see them. Jax had googled things for them to do in Chicago before he left Charming and he had a list all prepared. The hotel offered amenities for children, too, as he was glad that he was able to get a room for himself. He would hate to be staying someplace else in the city.

He also checked the medical conference schedule. There were workshops and activities planned from early morning until 8 or 9 at night Monday through Thursday, and from 9 to noon on Friday, so he would have to find out from Tara what things she planned to attend. Her presentation was scheduled for Tuesday morning at 10 am, so he would keep the boys in his room Monday night. Maybe he'd keep them every night, but he wanted family time with Tara included, too.

Tara. Their lovemaking was phenomenal as always. It was almost as if his bullshit never happened. Jax was nervous at the beginning, afraid that she'd again have flashbacks and regress into the agony he had imposed on her. That happened twice in Lodi but thank God that didn't happen today though they didn't talk about it. He loved Tara so very much and wanted to talk to her about where things stood and where they were going.

His shower completed, Jax dried off, put on his hotel robe again and walked in the bedroom. Tara was lying on the bed dozing. Jax stood staring at her for several moments. _She's so beautiful, he thought._ Jax sat on the bed and when he did Tara opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"How do you feel?" Jax asked, smiling back.

Tara looked at him – a question in her eyes.

"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I? Things got a little – spirited, there." He rubbed her lower back.

"I'm a little sore in spots – there are some muscles I've not used in a while in my back and legs, and my butt is still stinging a little. But it's the good hurts and the baby is fine. I promise you." Tara rolled to her side, sat up and kissed Jax tenderly, the robe dropping to her waist.

Jax put his hand on Tara's breast and squeezed gently, watching as her nipple pebbled under his touch. He trailed his hand down to her belly and rubbed it lovingly. He couldn't tear his eyes away.

"What about you?" Tara asked. "Are you alright?"

"I just had an experience with the woman I love that was fantastic, amazing, and astonishing and that drove me to an orgasm that was damn near biblical!" Jax grinned like he was once again Tara's 16 year old lover. "As great as it was for me, I'm just worried that you're ok – that I wasn't too rough." Jax paused and his voice became lower, more serious. "That I didn't do or say anything to trigger… the bad memories and upset you…."

Jax reached out his hand and stroked Tara's cheek lovingly. "I felt so close to you like we were 'us' again. The good 'us', the great 'us', and I prayed that nothing bad, nothing I'd done, would tarnish that.…"

It was Tara's turn to stroke Jax's face. "I needed you to love me, Jax. I needed to feel loved by you. Like we were 'us', again, as you say. Being with you today was all that and more. I'm grateful that the bad stuff did nothing to soil it for me - for us."

Jax breathed a sigh of relief. "I have some things for you."

He stood and held out his hand and Tara took it, standing in front of Jax. He picked up the robe, helped her into it and led her into the living room. Once there, he dropped Tara's hand and went to the doorway to pick up the oversized shopping bag.

"Ooooo, what's in the bag?" asked Tara.

"I'll show you mine – you show me yours," said Jax. He pointed to the bedroom, "…that velvet bag in there."

"Deal," Tara said, and she sat on the couch.

Jax sat the bag on the cocktail table, remained standing, then fished out a pile of books. He handed Tara a book of love poems and quotations from the works of Shakespeare, then an adult coloring book with love themed sketches of hearts and flowers, then he handed her a box of colored pencils, and one of markers.

"I know that Abel has a bunch of these but I got you your own so you don't have to fight with him," Jax said.

"Very thoughtful. You know how territorial he is," commented Tara.

"I do," said Jax with a laugh.

Then he handed her two books by Paulo Coelho, one being The Alchemist, and the other a collection of love quotations. Next was a book of the art of Georgia O'Keefe and last a book of the illustrated history of erotic art.

"I thought perhaps we could look at that last one together, maybe tonight," Jax said and gave Tara a boyishly playful grin.

"Maybe," Tara replied, equally playfully.

Jax placed the remaining books in Tara's lap: four Pete the Cat books, 4 board books for the baby, and a set of the Bob books for Thomas. Then there were two model Chevy trucks, with model Harleys in the truck beds, and a deck of Uno cards.

"Uno?" Tara said. "I haven't played Uno in 20 years."

"Maybe we can have a game of strip Uno right before we look at the book?" Jax asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Strip Uno? I figure we're good for one game, given how we're dressed," Tara pointed out.

"Exactly," said Jax, chuckling.

"You're incorrigible," giggled Tara.

"Yup," Jax replied. "Seriously, though, what do you think?" Jax asked, glancing at the bounty.

"I absolutely love my things, baby. I look forward to my care package from you every few weeks. The calls, too." Tara put her arm around him. "The boys will also love theirs. They always do. You'll see."

Jax put everything back in the bag. He sat the bag at the edge of the couch then sat down next to Tara. He kissed her then said, "Your turn."

As Tara went to bedroom to get the velvet bag, there was a knock at door. Tara heard room service announced. As she reentered the living room, the server was wheeling the covered table over by the desk. He angled the desk chair toward the table, as he did an armchair. Jax signed for the dinner and walked the server to the door. Tara was standing by the couch, having placed the bag there and Jax walked over to the armchair.

"Milady," Jax said, bowing at the waist, holding the chair for her.

**A/N: Interesting continuation of the first day, eh? Please, please review. SOA forever!**


	43. Chapter 43

Still Hungry

Tara sat. "Thank you," she said sweetly.

Jax uncovered the table then sat down in the desk chair. There were two salads, assorted dressings, a basket of rolls, butter pats, a small bucket of ice, 2 bottles of water, 2 bottles of ginger ale, and 2 large covered plates. They each unwrapped their cutlery, placed their dinner napkins in their laps, then dug in.

The hungry duo quickly polished off their salads and uncovered their entrees. Jax had a porterhouse, steak fries, and green beans, and Tara had lobster, baked potato, and asparagus. Jax carved a generous piece of his steak and put it on Tara's plate along with some fries.

"May I try a bit of your lobster?" Jax asked.

"No."

"No?" Jax asked.

"No, Jax. I'm pregnant. Pregnant women don't share food. It's how it works," Tara stated.

"Good to know. Guess I missed more than I thought. Rules of engagement for the care and feeding of pregnant women," Jax laughed.

Tara stuck out her tongue at him in response.

They continued eating, in silence, but kept sneaking loving glances at each other.

Tara cleaned her plate first, and Jax gave her half of his remaining steak, which she ate with gusto, belying her tiny size.

"Wow – I do love a woman with a healthy appetite," said Jax in amazement.

"Stick around, Teller," Tara teased. "It gets better."

_I'd love to, he thought._

As Tara was finishing off the last of the steak Jax spoke. "Tara, I hate to be buzz kill, things are going so well. But I want to talk to you about something. I can't believe I'm doing this…initiating relationship talk."

Tara smiled. "I remember how you always hated it."

"Yeah, but I see now that the talk is necessary from time to time," Jax commented.

"So what's on your mind, Jackson?"

"You said earlier that you don't trust me, and you're afraid that I'll hurt you again by breaking my promises."

Tara nodded.

"You also told me when we were in Lodi that you didn't want me to make any promises to you or tell you any of my plans. To just show you."

"I remember."

"You told me to do what I want, not what I thought you might want me to do, as you'd already chosen your path and it didn't include me."

"I said that, yes."

"It troubles me that you don't trust me and I'm trying to figure out how to show you that you can trust me again, babe. Or at least, trust me a little more than you did when we were last together – we can build trust back a little at a time, can't we?"

Tara finished the steak and put down the knife and fork giving Jax her full attention.

Jax continued to speak. "I mean, I hate that you're afraid that I'll hurt you again. It's all my fault, I know. My telling you that I won't hurt you isn't enough. I know that, too." Jax looked deeply into Tara's eyes. "I want to be your safe place again, sweetheart. How can I become that again? I can't be that again without your trust."

Tara shrugged. "That's the difficult thing about trust, why it's so important to maintain it, to nurture it. Once it's gone, it's hard to rebuild, Jax. You and I always behaved as if our love was enough to get us through. We ignored the fact that our love was shored up by trust and belief that at the beginning and the end of every day we had each other's best interests at heart and wouldn't risk that. Though we both broke that faith, Jax, the difference was I did what I did to save us, which you could ultimately see and understand. You did what you did to start a relationship with another woman."

"Tara it wasn't…"

"What it wasn't was your first and only time with her. I saw your face, Jax, your eyes. I saw what you were doing. I heard what you were saying. You weren't just fucking you were making love, and you weren't done with her, not by a long shot. You would have kept going back to her."

Jax looked down, clearly having thoughts of his own, clearly ashamed, anew. He realized that Tara had obviously given the Collette debacle additional thought. But he himself had never thought about what he was doing with Collette on the long term and he didn't choose to think about it now. Tara was mistaken - he absolutely wasn't making love – his heart and soul were in no way involved in what he was doing, regardless of what it looked like. But he chose not to engage in this line of discussion, either.

"I was completely done with her the second I saw your face, babe. I'd take it all back if I could, and I'm beyond sorry. I'll regret sleeping with her for the rest of my days."

Tara offered no comment and Jax studied her carefully. She seemed calm. He saw no trace of tears, no sorrow in her eyes, and he was uncertain as to whether this was good or bad.

"Do you remember when we were at Harry Williamson's office?" he asked.

"I do."

"He was going to dismiss me, and you asked him to help me to be great, for us. That's what fuels me Tara, what excites me, to know that I can make a positive difference, that my outlaw skills can be used for good. That you think I can be great. I play your comment over and over in my mind every day. So I am trying, Tara, working to get you to believe in me again, to trust me, to position things to show you that you, Thomas, Abel, and this one, are first with me.

"I need to know that the trust meter has moved even just a little in a positive direction and I want to tell you some of my plans and some of what I've done. May I?"

Tara carefully considered Jax's words. "So in other words, you want to tell me your plans, then tell me what you've done, so I can see more clearly that you're keeping your word."

"Yes."

Tara paused, then nodded.

"I've been consistent with our Lodi agreement about contact. I've written you letters, even though you haven't written me back."

"I've not read any of your letters, Jax. I'm not ready yet."

Jax went into the bedroom and came out seconds later. "Here's another one to add to the group." He handed Tara a letter. "Will you read them sometime?" he asked, earnestly.

"I will – but not yet," Tara answered. "I can't."

He wondered why but decided that that question was best left for another time.

Jax continued with the things he wanted Tara to know. "I've separated my TM holdings from SAMCRO holdings so that I can better provide for you and the boys. My next big project is to move the clubhouse off of Teller Automotive property. There are several options on the table. Bobby, Chibs, and Miles are working with the attorney to come up with the best option. I should have a recommendation by the time I get back. My priority is to grow TM and its proximity to the clubhouse is a hindrance, though not as big a hindrance as it has been in the past."

"How so?" asked Tara as she grabbed the last roll from the basket, buttered it, and started eating again.

"There are clubhouse standards of behavior in place. You drive in now to get your car worked on, it looks like a garage outside and not a frat house on Sunday morning. There's no lounging in the parking lot during TM business hours, no illegal drugs on TM property or the clubhouse during business hours ; the clubhouse is off limits to porn stars during business hours unless specifically invited by a member or are having auto work done. Croweaters stay inside also. Happy is in charge of 4 female bouncers who are on duty to enforce the rules."

"Really?"

"Really. Things were touch and go that first week, but by week 2 there was considerable improvement. There are still parties there, but I might go once a month, though I will attend specific celebrations, like birthdays, patch parties, prospect weekends, visiting MCs. Even then, I show my face, but leave after a few hours. I never spend the night in the dorm anymore. In fact, I've given the room to Chucky. Chibs is in charge of the clubhouse with Chucky."

"How about wrap parties?" Tara asked.

"I don't go to those," Jax answered. "They are held only at CaraCara and not the clubhouse. Nero and LuAnn are in charge of that business. I am out of the day to day.

"And the club is abiding by the original by-laws. Piney and V-Lin put together a training on them. No adultery on club property, strict adherence to the prison clause as written, and so on. You read them."

"Yes. I wouldn't imagine the guys are happy about that," Tara commented.

"No one cares – the only ones married or committed are Opie and me, everyone else is footloose and fancy free."

"So are you," Tara said.

"No. I'm not," Jax said, a little hurt by Tara's comment. He wondered if she perceived herself that way.

Jax wiggled his wedding ring at her. "I haven't touched a woman since you and I left Lodi. I don't want anyone but you, Tara."

"Three whole months? Jax Teller going 3 whole months without pussy? Have you gone this long since you lost your virginity?"

"I am prepared to go longer. I only want you, Tara. I'm not giving up and I'll go as long as I have to, to be with you."

Jax took a sip of ginger ale.

"What about the brothel?"

"Nero and Bobby are running that, with Lyla. We considered getting out of the business as it was the only SAMCRO revenue stream that was illegal. SAMCRO decided instead to move it to Nevada where it's legal. It's in the works now but we may need a new management arrangement or we may sell our interest."

"What of Collette?"

"No clue – I have no interest and no contact." Jax wondered if Tara would make a remark, but she didn't.

"Chibs sent an apology to you, Tara, because he and the guys recognized that they did not do right by you. I have watched them change into a group of men who are accountable to each other in positive ways, like calling each other out when necessary. They hold themselves accountable to the people who have supported them as well, hence the apology." Jax had no doubt that they would drag him out of the brothel by his hair like they promised, if he dared go back there.

"Sounds like you're staying in SAMCRO."

"I'm not – I'm 3 months into a 12 month stint, baby. Then I'm out, one way or another."

Tara saw the resolve in Jax's eyes.

"I'm sure you have more to say, Jax, but I've heard enough for now," Tara stated.

"OK," said Jax, having no idea what if anything his explanations earned him.

"Umm - do you have plans for tomorrow?" Tara asked.

"No, not really," he said.

"I want to take you on a tour of my favorite places here in Chicago. I loved this city so," Tara said.

"Are you asking me out on a date, Tara Grace?"

"I suppose I am, Jackson."

"Then yes. I'd love to see Chicago through your eyes," Jax said. _Especially since it was successful in keeping you away from me for so long he thought. _"Do I need to rent us a car?"

"No, we'll take public transportation. They actually have that here and it's very efficient." Tara remarked.

"Ha ha very funny," said Jax. "All kidding aside, I put myself totally in your hands."

"You did, didn't you? Put yourself in my hands."

Jax's eyes darkened immediately. "Yes, I did, and I intend to do so again."

"You remember that the boys are coming on Sunday."

"Where there's a will…," Jax said, with that sexy gleam in his eye.

"That reminds me," Tara said.

She stood up, grabbed Jax's hand and pulled him over to the couch. They both sat down and Tara picked up her velvet bag and dumped its contents between them.

Jax eyed the gewgaws, uncertain as to what he was looking at.

"It's my assortment of vibrators and other sex toys," she explained.

Jax's eyes widened in interest. He was incredulous at Tara's dry matter of fact delivery on the category of her merchandise.

"During pregnancy, I discovered that my sex drive goes off the charts, so I bought one when you were inside. Then I bought another and another. They are each different. For example…"

Tara picked up a small fat oval silver device. "This is a magic bullet. It goes inside. Operates by a single remote control, 3 speeds." She set it aside and picked up another. "This one is 5 speeds and has dual controls, though I could never quite figure out the value of that."

_Maybe I can help you with that Jax thought grinning wickedly._

Tara put down the 5 - speed and picked up a purple rubber device, about 3 inches long. It had a short strap and nodules that were a little longer and higher than those on a toothbrush. "This one fits on the finger." She took Jax's hand and put the little item on his index finger. "This baby enhances clit stimulation."

Jax fingered the brushes._ I think it would work on dicks and balls, too, he thought._

"Now, this one is for g-spot stimulation." She picked up a toy that was about 8 inches long, with a bulb at one end and a controller for the vibration speeds at the other. "You can use this on the clit as well, or for anal play. I think you get the drift. I have larger ones at home."

"I see," said Jax, removing the finger toy and inspecting one or two others in Tara's stash. She had 6 toys with her along with a tube of lube. "Perhaps there can be a…demonstration later?"

"I think that can be arranged," Tara said.

After exchanging heated stares for a few moments, Jax went over to another chair and sat down.

"C'mere," he whispered.

Tara rose immediately, walked to him and stepped in between his legs, then Jax guided her onto his lap.

"Gimmee a kiss," he commanded.

Jax wrapped his arms around her, hugged her tightly, and tangled his hand in her hair. Tara leaned into him and they began to kiss, deeply, with so much emotion and feeling tears fell from blue eyes and green eyes, too, mingling on their cheeks, and finding their way into each other's mouths. They were clinging to each other as if they each needed the other to breathe.

When they finally tore their lips apart, Tara rested her forehead against Jax's, her eyes closed.

After a long while, she sighed in contentment and sat up.

"Jax, did you order any snacks? Or dessert?"

Jax threw his head back in raucous laughter and patted Tara's hip as a signal for her to stand. When she did, Jax walked over to the desk phone and called room service for refreshments to carry them through what might turn out to be an interesting evening – a very, VERY interesting evening.

**A/N: How do you think things are going so far? Do you think these chapters are too heavy on the smut? I hope not because there's more coming and more implied. I hope you had a good holiday. Please review. SOA forever!**


	44. Chapter 44

Love and Games

Jax opened his eyes with a start at 1 a.m. Groggy, he thought he had felt a series of insistent thumps at his lower back. Tara had spooned him and he was holding her hand at his chest, her breath warm and even at his back. Now fully awake, Jax hadn't felt anything so he chalked it up to a dream.

He and Tara had been asleep for a few hours. They had been so involved with each other from the time that he'd arrived mid-afternoon, that neither noticed it was almost 10 pm when their second round of room service arrived. After they discussed plans for Saturday, they fed each other juice, fresh fruit, popcorn, pretzels, and they cuddled, nuzzled, petted, caressed and stroked each other for another hour before they retired for the night in Tara's bed.

While Jax was lying there thinking about how enjoyable the day was, he felt it - the thumps. He disengaged his hand from Tara's and he turned over to face her. She stirred at the loss of his warmth.

"Hey, baby," she said, rubbing her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Jax replied frowning, his brows knitted. He peered at Tara's bare stomach, clearly visible in the moonlight. After a few seconds, her stomach began to move – to reshape, and he placed his hand on it, his fingers splayed, rubbing lightly. Then Jax was rewarded with more thumps.

"It was the baby! The baby was kicking me! She woke me up, babe! She's moving! Oh my God!," he exclaimed with glee mirroring that of a five year old with a pile of presents on Christmas morning.

Tara moved to her back, then her stomach began to move again, reshaping each time. This time, when the baby moved left, Jax gently pressed there with his hand. When the baby moved right, Jax pressed there. The baby centered, Jax pressed. This play continued. Then the thumps began again. Jax had placed his arm and his hand there so he felt every single one. By this time his frown had turned into a big smile but the thumps subsided.

"Great," Tara teased. "My husband is playing whack-a-mole with his unborn baby!" She laughed.

Jax leaned over and blew Tara a raspberry, before planting kisses all over her tummy, causing Tara to giggle. This started a new round of moving and kicking.

"It's me, baby, it's your daddy. I'm here. I love you so much, and I can't wait to meet you," Jax said, between kisses. Tara wondered what the wetness was that she was feeling on her stomach, but it dawned on her that the wetness was Jax's tears. He lay his cheek on her, a small gesture that received a swift kick in response.

"What? I tell you I love you and give you kisses and you kick me in the face? Hmm? Take that!"

A Jax raspberry. A baby kick.

"And that!"

Another raspberry, another kick.

"And that!"

A third raspberry and kick.

"I'm playing with my baby," he announced to Tara.

"I can see that," she answered, totally enjoying Jax. She stroked his face with all the love she could muster.

Then Jax felt another kick.

"OK, OK," he said, rubbing circles on Tara's stomach. "You win. I surrender. I love you, baby mine. I love you."

They lay like that for a while, Jax's head and hand on Tara's stomach.

"Is that it?" Jax asked, feeling no further movement and gazing at Tara with such love in his eyes.

Tara ran her fingers through his hair before she answered. "Seems like she's settled down for now."

"Oh my God, babe, that was so amazing." Jax wiped his eyes. "I missed so much, so much," he said, repositioning himself then clutching Tara tightly to his chest. "I didn't know how much I missed."

"I love you, Jackson," she said. "Try and get some sleep. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."

"OK," Jax said and he kissed her. Then, moments later, "Can you forgive me? For everything?" Jax said, in the faintest of whispers.

Tara knew that her pregnancy with Thomas was a big part of the question.

"I already have," was her simple response. She turned over to her side and Jax spooned her, his arm draped protectively over Tara's belly. She in turn rested one arm over his, laced his fingers with hers and rubbed her belly with the other.

"Sleep tight my loves," she murmured.

Jax smiled and drifted off to peaceful slumber.

**A/N: A little bit of Jax and Tara cuteness for the weekend. Don't get too excited though. This is the only chapter I've written. I hope you enjoy it. Please review. As always, SOA forever! **


	45. Chapter 45

Chicago Awaits – Let It!

Jax awakened at 6:30 a.m., later than his normal time. But instead of feeling stressed and rushed to get on with his day, he felt relaxed, rested, and happy. Tara lay next to him on her side, resting peacefully. He looked at her and Jax smiled. He loved her so and wanted desperately to reach for her but he knew that she needed her rest after the long day she had yesterday.

He'd arrived in Chicago yesterday, too, and, other than not yet seeing his boys right away, his reception couldn't have gone better. Well it could have, in that Tara could be coming home with him or he with her, but barring that, things went great. She had asked him on a date to see her Chicago today and he was looking forward to it. He should really hate Chicago as it was the place that kept her away from him for so long. So though he hated that part, he loved that the city returned her to him as a beautiful, accomplished, loving, confident woman.

Jax rose slowly, stretched, and put on a hotel robe. He grabbed his clothes and shoes, kissed Tara on the forehead, and exited the hotel room, having explained last night that he would be working out this morning, early. The hallways and the elevator were empty, although he could hear the sounds of people stirring behind some of the closed doors.

When he arrived at his room, he ditched the robe, put on a pair of cropped yoga pants and his sneakers. He then started the floor exercise part of his workout routine. When he finished, Jax put on a tee, grabbed a towel and exited his room to finish up in the gym.

The gym was empty when Jax got there and he found it to be well equipped. He first completed his regimen with the weights, then hit the treadmill for his 10-mile run. Finishing that, Jax sat on the weight bench to catch his breath.

He was excited to see Chicago with the love of his life. Jax never told her how many times over the years she was away that he would get this overwhelming urge to get on his bike and go to her. Then he would fall back into depression when he realized he couldn't (wouldn't) leave, then he would drown himself in booze, weed, and pussy, finally fighting his way back to being a functional human being.

He must have gone through that cycle 100 times, so he was overjoyed upon her return. He'd worried for a while that she came back only to have him deal with Kohn, but he ultimately decided that he didn't care why she came back. She did come back and she was his.

Jax went back to Tara's room. He had taken her room key just in case and he'd decided to use it. Jax walked into the bedroom and found that Tara was still asleep. He kicked off his sneaks and divested himself of his tee. He crawled into bed and caressed her with his eyes as he did so. God help him, he wanted her again… he wanted to touch her, to hold her, to bury himself deep inside her, but he really didn't want to wake her. So Jax gently draped an arm over Tara's shoulder and snuggled himself close to her. Tara snuggled closer to him, too, and he pressed a kiss to the back of her head. Jax felt an indescribable peace and he soon dropped off to a deep sleep.

When he awakened some time later, Tara was coming out of the bathroom, naked, after having showered, and she reached for her floral robe. Jax sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, watching her every move.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said.

He held up his hand for Tara to come closer. When she did, Jax took the robe from her hand. He dropped it to the floor and gathered her into his arms pulling her close so that she was on her knees straddling his lap. Tara's arms were around his neck and she hugged him. Jax hugged her in return, one hand at her upper back, the other around her hip.

He had intended to nuzzle her a bit and give her a few quick kisses. That's what he intended. Jax actually started off that way but his kisses became longer, more passionate, and Tara was responding in kind.

"See what happens to me when you walk around me naked? I can't keep my hands off you, you're so sexy," he rasped in between kisses.

Tara huffed in disbelief. "I wish you would stop exaggerating, Jax," Tara said with a little laugh. "I am shaped like a kidney bean for God's sake. I'm disgusting." This last spoken with a tinge of embarrassment and shame.

It was Jax's turn to huff in disbelief. He took Tara's hand and put on his painfully erect member, which was pushing hard against his yoga pants. She gasped at the feel of it.

"Does that feel like I'm disgusted to you?" Jax asked, his voice so low, its vibration caused Tara to shiver.

Jax, his eyes open wide, resumed deeply kissing Tara. Then he circled her breast with his hand and squeezed it roughly before he took it fully into his mouth. Jax gazed into Tara's eyes as he suckled her, pulling hard on her rose colored nipple, which he could feel hardening in his mouth. When it did, he began to quickly flick it with his tongue. Still holding her tit in his hand, he began to lave it all over, top, bottom, and sides, circling his head as he did so.

Jax was incessantly groaning deep in his belly, as he pulled his mouth from Tara's swollen tit, and kissed her mouth. She could feel the wetness on his lips that he'd deposited on her and after a too quick moment, he started to work on her opposite tit.

Tara threw her head back and began to lean back, causing Jax to have to lean forward to keep contact with her heated flesh. Tara began twisting and turning in his arms and Jax fought to keep his mouth on her. Tara pressed her hand to the back of his head and she cried out, as Jax sucked, flicked and licked harder.

"Mmmmmmm…," he purred again and again.

He began to suck harder, then release her with a pop. He did it again, suck hard then release. Then a third time. When he started this sensual rotation, Tara began to rub her naked crotch against him, moaning louder and Jax could feel her wetness through his clothes. He took her other breast in his hand, squeezed it then began to tweak that nipple, pinching it while he continued to suck the other one hungrily. Since Tara was holding onto him so tightly, Jax gripped her breasts with both hands, pushed them together and began to suckle, flick, and nip both at the same time. Her breasts were wet and her nipples sensitive from his rough loving.

Suddenly, Tara, who had been moaning his name, gasping, sighing deeply, suddenly stiffened causing Jax to have to release one breast in order to hold her as she quivered against him.

"Yasss, yes, that's right, baby," he murmured, his voice dripping with sexual promise. "Let it go." His hands gently comforted her until her quaking ceased.

"My God, Jax," Tara said, as she slumped in his arms.

He smiled and kissed one breast then the other. "You can still do that – come when I suck your breasts," he said.

"So can you – still make me do that," she replied, naughtily.

Jax thought about their high school days. "You remember how I loved playing with these puppies back in the day? I used to beg you."

Tara grinned. "I remember…."

"You don't know what that used to do to me…what it still does to me, you coming like that. It's been too long…." His voice trailed off and Jax hissed loudly.

He held Tara to him, stood up holding her, turned around and gently deposited her onto the bed, her butt hanging slightly over the edge. Tara lifted her head and watched Jax as she caressed her own breasts, pinched her own nipples and twisted her hips.

"Damn, woman," Jax rasped, sucking his teeth.

He quickly pulled off his pants, widened his stance, and bent his knees. Then he spread Tara's legs, leaned over, positioned his dick at her entrance and pushed forward with a powerful thrust.

"Ughhhh," Tara and Jax each said, in unison.

Tara reached up and took Jax's face in her hands watching him with singular lust filled focus.

Jax held her legs apart with his hands at her knees while he circled his hips and thrusted powerfully, his groin bumping her clit and his balls bumping her ass. He slid in and out of her easily, she was so wet from her desire for him. Jax stared at Tara, watching her with laser intensity.

He licked his lips and shook his head in wonder. He didn't know how she was doing it and he really didn't give a fuck it felt so good but she was somehow thrusting back on him, her lips forming an "ooo" as she panted each time their genitals clashed. Tara's eyes were closed tightly; she arched her back and released her breasts which jiggled seductively when she did, and she was now clutching Jax's hips and ass, digging her nails into him, keening loudly as she felt his body working.

Jax jerked his hips against Tara hard then he paused. She moaned loudly in response. He repeated the action and Tara groaned again. He did it once more and at Tara's response, Jax grabbed her hands at the wrists. Growling and baring his teeth at her, he pinned her hands over her head, pressing them into the mattress.

"FUCK!" Jax shouted. "Umnnnn, gimmee that pussy. Pussy's so sweet, so good…." Jax's eyes were hooded in ecstasy and he pumped his hips, then circled his hips, then pumped more. Jax was in the zone and couldn't have paused again right then if he wanted to.

Now Jax was a tit man and he hit the jackpot with Tara Grace. He was thrusting hard into her, then he leaned down onto Tara's torso, careful to curve himself such that he was keeping his weight off of her stomach. The curve was sufficient enough for Jax to go back to work on her tits, nuzzling, nipping, and suckling one after the other.

Tara's entire body was ablaze with carnal pleasure induced by Jackson Teller.

'Don't stop, Jax, please, don't stop," she begged.

Jax growled again and put one knee on the bed next to her. He laughed wickedly when Tara squealed since his change in position drove him deeper into her and tilted her bottom to one side.

"Are you OK?" he asked, moving more slowly against her.

Tara was so overcome by the concern in his beautiful eyes, she could only nod her head in response to his question.

Jax picked up the pace, moaning in her ear of his love and desire for her.

She missed these early mornings with him. The closeness and intimacy set the tone for her day and she carried his imprint on her body, heart and soul throughout. As she'd go about her work at the hospital, sometimes she'd wonder if anyone had any idea of the things he'd done to her at the start of the day and she could feel her face redden.

Jax missed these early mornings with her, too. The closeness and intimacy reminded him of his humanity and he carried Tara's imprint on his body, heart and soul throughout his day. As he'd go about his SAMCRO business, he'd wonder if his brothers had any idea of the things she'd done to him at the start of the day and his member would twitch and sometimes harden.

Jax grasped Tara's face in his hand, pulled out of her and crawled onto the bed, all while kissing her deeply.

He then lay flat and patted the bed next to him, positioning Tara so that her back was to him. He turned on his side, facing her. Jax slid one arm under her torso and held her breast, and lifted her leg with the other. He nipped her shoulder playfully as he slipped his still hard cock into her. He leaned his head onto her shoulder as he licked and bit her there while watching her reaction to his attentions.

Jax was driving himself into her then pulling out almost to the point of breaking contact. "I was out of you for at least 20 seconds," he teased. "Did you miss me?"

"You'll never understand how much," she whispered, placing her hand on his cheek.

Now Jax was also an ass man and he hit the jackpot with Tara Grace. As he screwed into her, her butt was cradled against his groin, the heat from it driving Jax mad. Jax released Tara's leg then dug into her hip with his fingertips with a loud groan. After a few more moments, Jax slid his hand to Tara's butt cheek, which he kneaded, palmed, then smacked, hard, causing Tara to whimper at the sting. He grabbed her ass cheek again and pulled at it, at its bottom, then at its top. Jax slid his fingers in between her cheeks, pulling and kneading anew, each motion changing the exquisite friction and pressure on Jax's cock.

Both of them were groaning and panting now, lying on their sides, grinding and thrusting sensually against each other. The movements and the emotion behind them became more intense, more frenzied, more passionate. Tara was now fisting the sheets with one hand and scratching at Jax's thigh with the other. Jax slapped her ass again and she slapped his thigh in return.

Jax grunted and hopped onto his knees, positioned Tara on her back and slid his thigh in between hers, effectively scissoring her. He rested his weight on his forearm and guided his member into her, gently at first. This new position increased the friction even more and elicited a series of guttural whimpers from Tara and more grunts from Jax. By this time, he was clenching and releasing his butt cheeks, grinding Tara. He stretched himself out from his torso, one long arm pushing against the headboard with one hand and the other gripping Tara at the shoulder, giving him leverage.

"So deep, ugh, so good," Tara mewled. She was rolling her hips under him.

"Get that dick, baby. Give it to me right," he whispered, low, and dug deeper, grinding against her, harder and faster.

"Damn, Tara…damn, damn," Jax roared. "Ummmnn, ughh, ughnn, I'm coming, hard!" he panted while spurting his life essence into her, his body seizing with each spurt. At the same time, Tara made a low keening sound, signaling her own release as her hips snapped against Jax, over and over.

"Baby," Jax groaned throatily. "Damn, Tara, shit," he sniffed. "I love you baby, so fuckin' much. Honey – you said no strings. I heard you and I agreed at the time, honey, I did. But I want strings, I already have strings, sweetheart. You own me, mind, heart, body and soul. You always have. Just tell me what you want me to do, I'll do anything, anything you say. Please tell me you'll take me back. Please. Tara, please." He was peppering Tara's face with hot kisses, whispering in her ear, still inside her.

Tara didn't want it to happen, but her eyes filled with tears.

"Don't do this, Jax, please don't say these things," she pleaded.

"They're true," he argued.

"I can't…I can't…think about this now," she said. The tears fell and Tara cried. She cried for all she and Jax had, she cried for all they lost. Painful memories bubbled just below her surface and threatened to erupt all over again.

"No, no, no, no, baby, no," Jax said, frightened and regretful for what he'd said, what he'd done both now and...before. This is what he'd feared!

"Don't cry. Sweetheart, it's OK, it's OK," he said. By this time, he'd slipped out of her. Jax lay next to her on his stomach and wiped her tears. She cradled her belly, crying for her unborn child. Jax put his hand over hers. He leaned in and kissed her swollen stomach.

"Don't cry, Tara. Please don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you - make you cry. Please don't cry. Like you said, no strings. OK? No commitments."

His own eyes filled with tears – and he struggled not to cry for all he had, all he lost. He reminded himself that he had a plan and his plan was not to push her or pressure her. It had worked so far. He was here, they were making deep spiritual and emotional love, whatever the hell they chose to call it. They were connecting, which was what led to his outburst. He had to be patient – he had to wait. He had to keep revealing himself and his heart to her, letting her draw her own conclusions and determine her own future actions. Clearly, she wasn't yet completely healed from his betrayal.

Jax continued kissing and petting her until she settled down.

"Hey. You promised to show me your Chicago today," he said, smiling. "If you're up for it, I still want to go. I also want to talk over what I've planned for the boys, see if you want to change anything. I'd also like to get your workshop schedule for the week, if you don't mind sharing," Jax said, hopeful that their plan was still on.

Tara wiped at her eyes. "I'd love to show you my Chicago, Jackson."

Tara peeked at the clock. "It's a little after 10. Let's grab showers and meet in the lobby at 10:45. Brunch is on me."

"Where are we going?" Jax asked.

"You'll see soon enough, but I guarantee that you're going to love it!" Tara stated confidently.

_I guarantee that I love you Jax thought. _

"OK – then. I better get going," Jax said.

He kissed Tara's forehead, gave her his best smile, and got to his feet. Tara sat up and watched Jax appreciatively. He was about to step into his pants when Tara burst out into this grin.

"Wha'?" Jax said, grinning himself but without a clue as to why.

"You're wearing cropped cuffed yoga pants."

Jax snorted. "They're a comfortable alternative when long sweats are too much and shorts are not enough."

"Shorts are not enough," Tara teased, mimicking him.

Jax lifted a pillow and tossed it at her. Tara caught it, laughing, and collapsed back onto the bed.

"I never thought that this was a conversation I would ever have with you. Look at you – the new enlightened Jackson Teller."

"I'm all about enlightenment, darlin'," he quipped, as he stepped into the pants, then his sneaks, then his tee.

"See you shortly," Jax said, leaning in for another kiss. He kissed her belly also. "See you later, too, baby boy."

"You called the baby 'she' earlier this morning," Tara reminded him.

"I know," said Jax. "I'm just covering all the bases." He kissed Tara again and left her hotel room.

**A/N: This was a close one! Jax almost derailed their situation, but he was able to regroup. I have two more chapters in editing coming soon. Please review, and remember, SOA forever!**


	46. Chapter 46

Oh My! Who Knew?

Jax and Tara stumbled, laughing, into Jax's hotel room right around 6:30 p.m. after having been out and about in the city all day. They were followed by a bellman carrying all their purchases from the various stores and restaurants. He unloaded their bounty, Jax tipped him, and the bellman left.

Tara had taken off her coat and hat and was working on removing her boots when Jax came to her after escorting the bellman out. He helped Tara with her boots, then took off his own coat and hat. He fell onto the couch next to Tara, stretching out his legs. Jax noticed Tara wiggling her toes so he scooted to the opposite end of the couch, pulled Tara's feet into his lap, removed her socks and began to rub her feet, pressing her arches, massaging her toes.

Tara lay back onto the sofa. "Ahhhhh, that feels sooooooo good," she said.

He lifted a foot to his mouth and pressed a kiss onto it, then continued his massage.

"Thank you for today, baby," Jax said. "I can see why you love the city so. There's so much to see and do here, but it has these neighborhood type oases that have an almost small town feel. The Old Town area where you lived has everything within walking distance. You could live there without wheels of any kind and get around."

"That was one of the things that appealed to me so much when I moved here. It didn't give me that big city type of vibe. Kind of made up for the winters, which are brutal."

"I can imagine," Jax said.

"No, you can't," said Tara. They both laughed.

"Are you feeling, alright?" Jax asked. "Today wasn't too much, was it?"

"I'm fine," said Tara. "As long as you don't intend to take me out drinking and dancing this evening..."

Jax smiled. "Give me a couple of minutes. I want to put the food away. Get you anything?"

"How about a glass of milk and some of those Oreos?"

"Coming right up," Jax replied.

Jax went into the bathroom and washed his hands. While in there he smiled in that he didn't need to relieve himself. Being out all day with a pregnant woman, they had visited half the public restrooms in Chicago.

He came back into the living room and located the bags with the milk, paper cups, napkins, and cookies. He removed those items, put several cookies on a napkin and poured Tara a cup of milk which he took to her and set on the cocktail table.

"Thank you, baby," she said, immediately picking up a cookie and removing the top.

Jax returned to the bags and began to put away the food. The hotel had offered him a fridge and microwave when he made his reservation and he figured the appliances would come in handy with the boys. Good thing, too, because Tara didn't have them.

While he and Tara were out, they decided that the boys would stay in Jax's room. Not only was it a little larger than Tara's, but he had the appliances and Tara could sleep better at night. He had gotten her a duplicate key so she had access to his room anytime she wanted. Tara would be at conference events most of the day on Monday, including a reception Monday evening. She was presenting Tuesday morning and would end her day after lunch. There were also Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning workshops she wanted to attend.

Other than that, she was free. So they planned to go out as a family on Wednesday morning on a 3 hour city of Chicago boat tour. On Friday, Jax wanted to rent a car and drive them all to Milwaukee to visit the Harley Museum. He wanted a tour of the Harley plant but the boys were too young; Tara convinced him that she could keep them entertained while he did the 90 minute tour. Other than Monday, they would have evenings together as a family.

Jax finished putting away the food including the left over Chinese food they'd had for supper, and he put the gifts he'd bought into the bedroom. He had purchased gifts for Opie and his family, Nitta and her family, Oswald, Roger Mills, Harry Williamson, and Chucky. He had also bought more things for the boys, too. And no way could he leave Chicago without several of the large tins of Garrett's popcorn in assorted flavors. _That popcorn was sinful, it was so good! If he lived in Chicago, he'd look like Bobby behind that stuff Jax thought, choosing to ignore for the time being that he could order it online._ As he looked at the small mound of presents, he figured he would need another suitcase to get it all back home.

Jax walked back into the living room where Tara was polishing off the last of her cookies and milk. She looked at Jax and smiled. She absolutely loved the heavy navy blue cable knit turtleneck cardigan he wore with the brown leather toggle buttons. The sweater was fitted, accentuating Jax's broad shoulders, chest and narrow waist. The navy brought out the blue of his eyes.

Tara had been jealous in the casual dining restaurant where she took him for brunch, since the servers fell over themselves to wait on their table. In all her years of going there, she had never been asked if she needed anything so many times! Just before they left, Jax excused himself to use the restroom and he'd been eye fucked by most every woman in the place on his way to and from the gent's. Unlike the old Jax, however, new Jax seemed oblivious to all the female attention. He uttered nary a "hey darlin'". Nonetheless, Tara had been told by more than one woman over the course of the day that she was a lucky woman and she managed weak smiles in response.

But she couldn't complain about her treatment from Jax, not at all. He had been attentive, affectionate, caring, and downright solicitous. She felt like a princess, queen, and goddess all rolled into one.

"So what's the smile for?" Jax asked.

Tara didn't realize she was smiling, but she recovered quickly.

"Thanks for today," Tara said. "It was wonderful."

"What's wonderful is that it ain't over yet," Jax said.

"Oh yes, that reminds me," Tara said. She stood up, went to her coat and retrieved from its pocket a sheet of folded note paper which she handed to Jax.

He took it from her and unfolded it carefully. Reading it, he looked at Tara for an explanation.

"It's our address so you needn't go to my lawyer to send us things anymore. I decided to give you this before I arrived here," she explained.

_So they're living in NC? Even farther away from me than I thought._ Though he had many questions, Jax knew this wasn't the time to ask.

"It means a lot your giving me this. Thank you," said Jax.

He regarded getting the address as another positive milestone in what he saw as their journey back to each other. Jax stood up and took Tara into his arms and kissed her. Thank you, he mouthed, dropping his forehead to rest against hers. The couple remained like that for a few minutes then sat down again. .

"Listen," Jax said. "Are you ready to eat something more substantial? We can finish the rest of the Chinese food, order something from room service, do a nice dinner in the hotel restaurant or grab something light in in the hotel lounge. Your choice."

Tara didn't hesitate. "The leftover Chinese food will be good. There was quite a bit left. Besides, I don't think I could get my feet back into those boots."

"Are you OK? Should I be worried? You should have told me if…," Jax was saying.

Tara began waving her hands at Jax.

"Honey, honey, listen. No, I'm fine. Trust me. If I weren't you'd be the first to know."

Jax breathed a sigh of relief. "OK. Good. Another choice for you. Do you want to eat right now or would you like a nice bath before dinner? I'll run it for you, you'll have a little time to relax, then I'll warm our food."

"Hot bath first, please," said Tara.

"I'll get it going, then I'll go get your body butter and robe."

Tara nodded eagerly.

Jax went into his bathroom and turned on the water. He carefully placed the bathmat next to the tub. He went back to the living area and hung up their coats and hats and put Tara's shoes in his closet. He then put the remaining bags in the bedroom, figuring they could sort it all out later.

Tara was still sitting on the sofa with her feet up admiring the big city lights.

"Come," Jax said, holding out his hand.

He led Tara to the bathroom and turned off the water.

"Need a moment alone?" Jax asked, respectfully.

She nodded.

"Call me when you're done," he said.

"I will."

Jax went into the living room, turned on the TV, found a smooth jazz station, and adjusted the volume. He walked over to the bank of windows and looked outside. He really did like this city and its energy and wondered if he could have lived here with Tara all those years ago. _Of course I could have he thought._ Jax heard Tara call for him and he headed back into the bathroom just as she was unzipping her jeans.

Jax squatted and pulled off her pants one leg at a time. He then stood and helped her remove her turtleneck and bra. He smiled at Tara lovingly, reached over to the vanity sink and grabbed some hair bands. He pulled Tara's hair back, piled it on top of her head and secured it with several of the bands.

He smiled at her again. "All set."

Jax held out his arm and Tara grasped it. "Wait," Jax said, "Test the water, first."

Tara dipped her fingers in, pronouncing the water perfect. Leaning on Jax's arm, Tara stepped gingerly into the oversized tub. Jax leaned over, holding her as she first sat down and then scooted to the back of the tub. He added a bit more water.

"Mmmmm," Tara said. "This feels so good." She released a sigh and leaned back, closing her eyes. Jax took Tara's clothes into the bedroom them came back in.

"Need anything else?" he asked.

_Just you she thought._

"No, thank you," Tara said.

"OK – I'll be back for you in 30 minutes," Jax said.

He kissed her quickly and left.

Jax picked up Tara's room key and headed downstairs. Once inside he picked up her body butter, comb and brush, deodorant, toothbrush and paste. Going to the closet, he removed her floral robe from a hanger and spied one of the pleated gauzy gowns he'd sent her. The pale pink one. He pulled it off its hanger too. He saw the erotic art book so he took that, along with the velvet bag that was lying on her nightstand. Next to the bag were a candle and a lighter so he added that to his items as well. Before he left the room, he quickly looked around to see if there was anything else he might bring. Seeing nothing further, he left Tara's room to return to his own.

Of course, the elevator going up to his room had 6 or 7 women on it. They all stopped talking as soon as he entered, and he nodded at them in acknowledgement of their presence. Jax noticed that the woman next to him was eyeing his dry goods then grinning at her companions.

"Is that the Lucie-Smith erotica volume?" she asked.

"No," Jax said. It's the Hill and Wallace volume."

Mercifully, the shortness of the ride didn't allow for further comment from her and as the elevator slowed to a stop, one of the women said, "You have a nice night!" and the others started giggling. A totally embarrassed Jax smiled and rushed to the room.

_Should have found something to pack these things in he thought. Good grief. _

Once inside his room, he carefully laid out Tara's gown on the bedroom settee, the body butter on the night stand and the velvet bag next to the butter. He took the erotica book, the candle and lighter to the living room and put them on the cocktail table. Then Jax removed his clothes, put them in the laundry bag and quietly walked into the bathroom, naked.

Tara was washing herself when he entered. He put her toiletries on the vanity.

"Do your back?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, and he did.

When he finished, Jax washed his face, brushed his teeth, and stepped into the shower. Tara couldn't take her eyes away. She always loved to watch him shower. This time was no exception. Her nipples began to harden and it was all she could do to keep from putting her fingers to work while looking at his body and thinking about all the things he did to her with it – using his hands, his mouth, his penis, his fingers, even the timbre of his voice when they made love.

Jax turned off the shower and exited, snapping Tara out of her reverie.

He took a bath towel and dried himself quickly, wrapping the towel around his waist. He then applied deodorant and picked up his body lotion.

"Call me when you're ready to get out, OK?" he asked.

"Just give me 10 more minutes," Tara requested.

Jax nodded and went into the bedroom, where he combed his hair, applied his Prada body lotion, and dressed in a long pair of black satiny pajama bottoms and a black short sleeve fitted tee.

He was separating Tara's and the boys' goods from his own when she called for him.

"Coming," he said.

Jax reentered the bath and released the water from the tub. He put an arm around Tara and held her hand, helping her to stand. He then supported her as she stepped out of the tub onto the bathmat. Jax dried her thoroughly and led her into the bedroom where he instructed her to lie down. Jax opened the body butter and rubbed Tara all over with it. She smiled at him in appreciation.

"Jax," Tara said. "I notice that the velvet bag is here."

"Yes. You promised me a demonstration. Are you reneging?"

"Absolutely not but I need you to do something for me," she said.

_I intend to Jax thought._

"Your clothes are on the settee," Jax said, "I'll let you get dressed."

_Fiend_ _Tara smirked_ when she saw the gown but she decided to put it on anyway. It was one of her favorites as it was extremely comfortable and ultra feminine. She felt so sexy in the see through garment.

Tara dropped the gown over her head and it fell to the floor, covering her feet, the long spaghetti straps allowed the top of the gown to dip low revealing a significant amount of her fulsome breasts.

Tara ducked back into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. When she entered the living area, Michael Buble's "Always on My Mind" was playing. Jax, was still looking out of the windows and Tara walked over to him, putting her hand at the center of his back.

Jax turned to face her. He couldn't believe his eyes, she looked so beautiful – ethereal even.

"You're stunning," he said and gave her a kiss.

"I have to have pictures of you and my baby," he said.

"Jax!" Tara exclaimed. "This gown is sheer."

"I'll blur it so that your face isn't visible – please," he begged. "No one will see them, anyway. Just me."

Tara was feeling even friskier than usual. "Well alright, but if I don't like a picture, you'll erase it immediately."

"I will," he said.

Jax turned out the lights and walked Tara over to the windows. He turned her slightly sideways and had her lower her head on an angle and cup her belly. He walked about 10 feet back and lifted his IPod. He asked her to trail her fingertips across the top of her breasts and he began to snap pictures. He issued various other instructions for poses which Tara followed. Then he zoomed in and took several closeups of her face, in shadow. Next, Jax licked the lens and took several more pictures before stopping.

"Beautiful, absolutely beautiful," he murmured.

"You promised to do something for me," she said. "Give me the IPod. Now go over there where I was standing."

She instructed Jax to take off his shirt, slouch, look directly at her, and tuck his thumbs into his pants. Then she had him turn sideways and face the windows as she took more pictures. Tara asked him to sit in the armchair by the window, legs stretched out in front, one arm behind his head.

"OK, now take off your pants," she ordered.

Jax raised his eyebrows.

"Yup, off," Tara repeated.

"A promise is a promise," Jax said and he removed his pants. Of course, he was commando.

Tara took a few pictures of him as he stood looking at her holding his pants in front of him. Then she directed him over to the window again, where she had him lean back on the sill, arms resting behind him. Then she had him face the windows as the photographed his back. Teasing, Jax struck one of several weight lifter poses that caused his bicep and back muscles to pop.

"Hold that, hold that," shouted Tara, quickly snapping a bunch of those.

"This is the favor you wanted?" Jax asked.

"No," Tara said. "This is."

She took her floral robe and reversed to the solid navy side.

"Put this on."

Jax did. He had to admit that the robe felt good against his skin. When he went to tie it, though, Tara stopped him.

"Leave it loose," she said, leering at him and licking her lips.

_I like where this is going, Jax thought._

After taking a couple of selfies, both clothed and semi clothed, Tara sat down on the sofa while Jax lit the candle and handed Tara the book.

"Here," he said seductively. "A little light reading while I heat up our leftovers."

While Jax busied himself dishing out and heating their food and slicing oranges to go with it, Tara thumbed through the book. By the time their plates were ready and Jax had added the freshly sliced oranges, Tara was not only hot and wet, but flushed as well. Of course, that little photoshoot with Jax did nothing to cool her jets and her telltale hardened nipples poked at the front of her gown.

Jax was fully aware of Tara's state. He could sense that her pheromones were working overtime. Jax handed Tara her plate, seated himself, and rested his plate on his knees. He poured them each a glass of sparkling water and held up his glass for a toast.

"To the start of a beautiful evening," he said, "after the end of a beautiful day."

"Here, here," Tara responded, sexily.

And it was…a very, very, VERY, beautiful and eventful evening with the lovers discovering new and exciting things about themselves and each other….

**A/N: Sorry, but you are going to have to imagine this one, people! We have the perfect setting - good food, good music, city lights, candles, sexy books, toys, and two people with complications trying to find their way to each other. What do you think? Please review. SOA forever! **


	47. Chapter 47

My Way

It was Friday evening and Tara's time in Chicago was almost at an end. It seemed like yesterday that she and the boys arrived.

Tara was in Jax's room with Thomas and Abel who were down for the night. The four of them had driven to Milwaukee this morning to visit the Harley Museum as planned, and Jax had a tour of the Harley factory while Tara took the boys to Milwaukee's Big BackYard children's indoor play facility before they headed back. It was a fun day and they totally enjoyed themselves.

Right now, Jax was on his way to a Bulls game with Jason, who had an extra ticket and invited Jax. Apparently the two men bonded over the course of the week, starting right from the time they met on Sunday when Jason and Mya brought Thomas and Abel to the hotel. Jason brought his children to spend Tuesday afternoon in the hotel pool with Jax and the boys and he even ducked out on a workshop Thursday morning when he brought his boys to hang with them at Legoland.

After checking on the boys one more time, Tara took a quick shower, sat on the couch and phoned Donna, who picked up after only 2 rings.

"Well it's about time you called," Donna said, feigning annoyance. "I have been dying to hear what's been going on over there. Tell me everything and I mean everything. Leave out nothing."

"Well, hello to you too," Tara said. "I'm fine, thank you for asking." They both laughed.

"So?" Donna said. "Let's hear it."

"Well, the boys weren't here when Jax arrived. I wasn't expecting him until Sunday, so they were spending the weekend with 2 of my old friends here in Chicago, who have boys their ages.

"Abel and Thomas were so excited to see Jax on Sunday. I think they completely forgot about me as soon as they laid eyes on him. You should have seen Thomas trying to run to Jax. I took a video with my IPod. It was the cutest thing. Jax has a suite in the hotel, so the boys are staying in the room with him. They are delighted.

"He's kept them busy all week, including an on-off bus tour of the city's attractions on Monday and he let the boys choose 3 things they wanted to see. They picked Legoland, Navy Pier and Daley Park, but Jax also took them to the children's museum, the children's theater, where Corduroy was playing, and the science museum.

"Of course, I introduced them to Chicago's famous deep dish pizza and I believe they all like it here in Chicago, even Jax! We've had dinner and family time in the evenings, though I went with them today to the Harley Museum in Milwaukee, which is only an hour's drive away. I don't know how I'm going to get the boys back on their schedules next week."

"Sounds like you guys have had fun," Donna said.

"Oh we have. Jax had picked out and purchased outfits for them when he and I were out on Saturday and he dressed the boys in them on Tuesday morning - slacks, Buster Browns, little shirts and bowties and brought them to the last few minutes of my presentation. I was so surprised and happy to see them. Needless to say they were the stars of the morning.

"I asked Abel later that day what he knew about what I was doing when they came to see me. Abel said that Jax told him that I was telling other doctors how to help babies, like I helped him when he was a baby. He told him that I was very important and very smart which was why so many people were there to see me. Jax also told Abel that he wanted Abel to be like me when he grew up and help people, too. I broke down and cried, scaring the poor child half to death – damn pregnancy hormones!"

"Wow Tara! That sounds amazing!"

"It was, Donna. Very special. So how are you, Opie and the kids?"

"We're all fine but never mind us," Donna said. "What was it like seeing Jax after all this time?"

"Oh my gosh, Donna. He was such a sight for sore eyes. I knew he was exercising and you told me about the clothes but holy hell…."

"And? And?!" quizzed Donna.

"And what?" Tara asked innocently.

"Don't get cute!" Donna threatened. "And?!" she repeated.

"We had two and a half days of the hottest sex known to man before the boys came, including massage, sex toys, naked photos and porn," Tara dished.

"You? Porn? How?"

"Well, erotic art. Jax bought me a book and we looked at the pictures together, right after we took naked selfies," Tara explained.

Donna laughed. "You know, something? You really have a lot of people fooled. Quiet, demure, ladylike Tara. You get behind closed doors with Jax and you're a damn freak. I always knew it. Right from high school. You may have been a late bloomer, but once you got started, lookout! People would be so shocked. They'd have to see the pictures of you in the act to believe it. I love it!"

"Well, isn't that the way it should be?"

"Absolutely," said Donna. "So what happened between you after Thomas and Abel came?"

"We have managed to get it in at least twice a day every day since. You know how that goes with the little people around."

"Do I ever," said Donna.

"But even outside of the sex, Jax has been wonderful. He's been caring, considerate, loving, attentive, affectionate. He broke down one day and was begging me to take him back, telling me that he would do anything I wanted to make that happen."

"What did you tell him?"

"I burst into tears and told him that I'm not ready. That I make no commitments to him and that I ask for none in return. I told him that the first night, too. He was clearly hurt, but I have to be true to myself, Donna. I still can't even think about reconciling with Jax right now. If I think about it, the fear overwhelms me and the pain wells up again. I'm fine with him as long as I'm not thinking about being with him permanently."'

"Well you're doing the right thing. Move according to your own time and counsel." Donna paused. "Do you think getting back together with him is possible in the future?"

"He's been so wonderful this week, Don. You should see him with the boys. He even plays with our unborn. You know, he told me about some of the changes he's making back home with SAMCRO and his businesses. He asked my permission to tell me some of his plans and I said yes.

"But for whatever he plans, I know that one act of stupidity and the craziness can start up again. I refuse to live like that anymore Donna. I can't handle it. I have so much admiration and respect for you and your strength. I've got to tell you, too…I'm scared shitless about being alone raising 2 small children, about to be 3 small children, but that's just the way it has to be for now.

"And as long as I'm being completely honest? I don't know how the hell I'll be able to leave Jax on Sunday. I know I didn't answer your question..."

Donna could hear Tara sobbing lightly on the phone.

"Honey, now don't you go and upset yourself. You have to stay strong for that baby, for your boys, and for yourself. Sounds like you've made great personal progress and opened up a whole new career opportunity for yourself, right?"

"Yes."

"Remember what I told you when you left Lodi?" said Donna.

"To go with my heart and to do what was best for me."

"That's right," said Donna. "The advice is the same. By the time you are leaving on Sunday, you'll know what to do. Don't worry. May I make a suggestion?"

"I'm listening."

"Think about Jax separate from Charming. I know this place carries a lot of bad memories for you so unpack it from your relationship with him. Treat Jax and Charming separately as you think about your future and what you want."

Tara was nodding her head at the advice. "You're a good friend, Donna. I love you and miss you so much."

"Me, too, babe. Me too," said Donna.

"Think Opie might let you come for a visit?"

"It's not wise as long as your address is secret from Jax," Donna replied. "Opie will want to know exactly where I'm staying and I wouldn't want him to have to withhold that from Jax, though he would if I asked him to."

"I forgot to tell you. I gave Jax my real address. I decided to give it to him before I left Fayetteville."

"That's great news, Tara! How'd he react?"

"He seemed happy to get it. Didn't ask any questions or make any comments about it at all, though I'm pretty sure he thought I was in Houston. My friend Mya told me that he thanked her and Jason was taking care of us while we were on route to NC. They both seem quite taken with Jax. He can be a charming fucker when he wants to be, damn him."

"Yeah, well, so can you," Donna said.

"I can, can't I?" Tara smirked and the two friends laughed.

"Wait until you see the presents Jax is bringing back for your family. He's been shopping to beat the band since he's been here," Tara stated.

"I can hardly wait," said Donna. "I told you that he stays with us a couple of times a week."

"You did."

"Says he doesn't like being in the house without you and the boys," Donna added.

"Ummm, am I mistaken here or are you pulling for Jax?" Tara asked.

"I am absolutely pulling for Jax," Donna answered immediately. "He's not the same man that he was when you left, Tara. It's like he's suddenly realized all the potential that everyone always attributed to him. Did I tell you that he's very close with Oswald now and goes to church with him on Sundays?"

"I did not know that," said Tara. "For how long has he been going?"

"About two months, now," Donna replied.

"Now that really is something," Tara stated. "What of Gemma?"

"Keeps to herself from what I can see. If Jax sees her or talks to her I'm not aware of it. I occasionally run into her around town, in the market, gas station, places like that. She'll nod but keeps moving. I think her losing Nero broke her. I hear Unser lives with her, now," Donna said.

"Didn't you say Unser works for Jax?" asked Tara.

"Part time, just for 6 months to stabilize and grow the business. It's doing pretty good – gets more and more contracts for delivery work every day, plus Jax added a small rental division, kind of like a local UHaul. Keeps the trucks from being idle.

"Back to Gemma for a minute though. I saw that she had to make a payment to SAMCRO to the tune of $1.2 mill and an additional payment to Teller Auto for $1 mill for financial improprieties."

"Interesting. But I still don't trust that bitch," said Tara.

"You are wise not to. She probably still blames you for the loss of her family and her business. Mmm, Maybe I can come and stay with you for a few weeks right when the baby is born. You know, help out."

"Oh, Donna, that would be great! I have a nanny and a housekeeper but that's not the same as family, you know?" Tara said.

"I know. But listen, I need to run. It's almost dinnertime and I have hungry people looking me in my eyes right now. Please call me as soon as you get back home once you're settled in, OK? We'll talk about my visit."

"Will do. I love you," stated Tara.

"I love you, too," said Donna and she ended the call.

Tara lay down on the sofa, picked up the remote and found an old Bette Davis movie, Now, Voyager. She turned it on and began watching as she thought about Jax. Their divorce would be final in 3 months so she figured she had at least that long to decide what to do.

She knew that she still very much considered him to be her husband. In fact, she introduced him as such to a roomful of her peers when she spoke on Tuesday and he brought the boys as a surprise.

Every now and then it occurred to her that her indecision might cost her Jax in that he could easily change his mind about her and find another woman, as he did when he married Wendy. According to Donna, he could have any woman he wanted in Charming, and from what she herself saw during their outings in Chicago, the same would go here – in fact, probably everywhere. Which made her decision all the more important and added the element of time pressure.

But like Donna said, she shouldn't make a decision until she was absolutely ready. She liked Donna's idea of compartmentalizing Jax and Charming. Donna was correct - she attributed so much rightfully earned negativity to that town. But if she did that, shouldn't she also separate Gemma and SAMCRO from him, too? What about Collette? Is she an issue too apart from Jax?

Tara shook her head. _I'm giving myself a headache._

She shook her head again. _I will make a decision, she vowed, but in my own time, in my own way. _

_**A/N: OK. Now I know that some of you will be disappointed that I fast forwarded the week since you wanted to read about Jax being **_**reunited**_** with his boys. Please forgive me. Hopefully Tara's recounting gave you some of that. Abel's talk about what his daddy said about his mommy was way beyond what you could expect to get from a 5 year old, but I couldn't figure out how to shorten it, so I need you to forgive me that as well.**_

_**We're coming up on another weekend. How time does fly. Anyone else looking forward to the Downtown Abbey movie opening in the US next week? Please review and SOA forever! **_


	48. Chapter 48

I'm Not the Only One

Tara was smiling after she spoke with Donna. Her friend had a way of putting things into perspective and Tara missed her dearly. She rose from the sofa, went to the fridge, poured herself a small glass of juice and went back to the couch.

She sighed deeply. Tara was starting to feel sad that she'd be leaving for Fayetteville in 2 days. The people at the hospital there were kind, skilled and professional. To top it all off, the work environment was great, as were the pay and benefits. The hospital singlehandedly resurrected her career after only a few short months. They not only employed her given all the issues surrounding her, but her work for them yielded an even larger opportunity for a new and exciting career as a sought after physician who consulted on difficult pediatric cardio cases.

Presenting at this particular conference really opened those doors for her. She had spent this week networking and had several potential consultations lined up. The beauty was that she could perform this valuable work from anywhere and didn't necessarily need a hospital affiliation to do it although she did need to be in a practice. In addition to being important work it was quite lucrative and she could perform it from anywhere. As she built additional successes, she could write her own ticket in spite of her past.

But there was a huge problem. Though Fayetteville was a lovely city, she didn't want to stay there. Too, because the staff there had done so much for her, she felt guilty about leaving the hospital, especially so soon. She also made friends there as had Abel. He'd had at least 5 playdates in the short time she lived there with more scheduled, and she was in a 'Mommy and Me' group at the local YMCA with Thomas.

She'd been trying to be patient and remain open minded, but she had not changed her mind about the city. Because she felt guilty, she didn't feel right about resigning so soon after her arrival. And the bigger question was, if she left Fayetteville, where would she go?

Complicating matters even further she had Abel, Thomas, and the new baby to think about. They had handled the move to Fayetteville like little troopers, but to uproot them again? So soon? _My God – she thought. I'm creating the Tara Knowles version of a nomad tribe. No home to speak of, travelling the roads…. She could hear the Willie Nelson song "On the Road Again" playing in the background._

What might this mean for her and Jax? She had shared none of this with him. He had accused her of being a runner, years ago, taking off whenever things got tough. She pooh poohed his idea though – all the shit she went through in Charming and with him, if she were a runner, she'd have left years ago, probably when Abel was taken and Jax slept with Ima.

He had also told her once that he couldn't live off her earnings as one of his bullshit excuses as to why he couldn't leave SAMCRO or Charming. Of course, there had never been a good time to leave SAMCRO. But since then, he had claimed his birthright and was operating several successful growing businesses.

Could he leave there now? Would he? He said he was willing leave now and go anywhere, but Tara remained skeptical. She knew firsthand the damage that an unhappy Jax could do to her. Jax seemed to like Chicago. Would she consider moving back here? Maybe she would. Or would she be willing to go back to Charming given the changes there?

Tara realized that asking herself these questions sounded as if she were willing to take Jax back – as if reconciling with him was a forgone conclusion. She needed more time and a lot more information before she was willing to decide - at least, that is what she was telling herself. On the one hand, she felt like the two of them needed to have a heart to heart before they left Chicago. On the other hand she felt that there was nothing for her and Jax to discuss since a discussion might lead to…what?!

Suddenly, Tara's wayward hand involuntarily picked up her phone and placed a call that was answered on the first ring.

"Mya, hey. How's it going?" Tara asked.

"Fine, thanks. The fellas should be at the Center by now. Are you watching the game?" asked Mya.

"No, I would have no idea what I was looking at. But listen, I called to ask a big favor. I hate to ask, you guys have done so much already."

"Hey – you know that Jason and I are here for you. Ask away."

"Would you be willing to babysit the boys for us for a few hours tomorrow evening? Maybe like 8 to 11? I think that Jax and I might need to talk about things – I'm not sure. But I want to block in some time in case we need to," said Tara.

Mya burst out laughing.

"I don't see what's funny," said Tara.

"I'm sorry. I'm laughing because if your pregnancy hormones are anything like mine, talking would be the last thing on your mind. I mean, not to mention that I have seen the man, OK? One of THE most fuckable specimens out there. And I have seen the two of you together, too!" Mya snorted. "Talking. The hell you say…."

At that they both laughed.

"So you're saying that I'm in denial about why I want this time alone with him, huh?" asked Tara.

"Totally," Mya responded. "But you're also in luck. My boys are away with the grands this weekend and tomorrow night is Jason's standing monthly poker night and it's his turn to host it so I have a counter offer for you. How about I spend the night? Jason can pick me up Sunday morning and we can take you to the airport on our way home. You said your flight is at noon, right? Is Jax leaving then, too?"

"My flight is at noon, his is at 10. I believe he's taking the hotel shuttle. But I wholeheartedly accept your counteroffer. You can stay in Jax's room and I'll make certain the boys are ready for bed when you get here."

"I'll be there before 8, though, probably 6:30 or 7, since I'll be taking the train in. Is that OK?" asked Mya.

"Come as early as you like. I will get to visit with my dearest friend for a bit."

"OK. Soooooo," said Mya. "What's up with you and Jax? Are you two getting back together?"

"Not right now, Mya. Later? I don't know."

"Given my experience with Jason, I can safely say that anything is possible," Mya explained. "You remember when I told you he cheated on me for a year with some skank nurse who worked on the psych floor? Well, we separated as a result but were able to get back together. That 2 year period of time was the worst time in my life..."

"How'd you get past it?" Tara asked.

Mya quickly responded. "Time, counselling, hard work and the grace of God. You told me about Jax's cheating but I think that there are other things holding you back. I think that it is those things that are complicating matters for you – that it's those things that are holding you back. Maybe you should consider those separate from your relationship with Jax. I'm not saying that Jax didn't hurt you, only that there is more to the picture than you've told me.

"But what I know about you, Tara, is that you are strong, wise, thoughtful, and a great mom. And at the end of the day, you will make the right decision about whether you have a future with Jax. Jason and I both love and respect you and will remain your friends regardless."

"You mean you won't throw me over for Jax?" Tara asked jokingly. "He and Jason seem to have quite the bromance happening."

"Absolutely not. I'll kill Jason if he even thinks about it!" Mya exclaimed.

"That's my girl!" Tara said, laughing. "You know, you are the second friend to tell me that I need to separate the other situations from my thoughts about Jax and me."

"Sounds like a very wise person," said Mya, chuckling.

"On a serious note though, My, did you learn anything about yourself during the reconciliation process?"

"I did. That was one of the hard parts. The learning. I learned that I wanted Jason as husband in my life and that I was willing to do anything to keep him. I hated that part. And I learned that I had a role to play in his cheating. I hated that part more. It was easy to play the victim, the hapless innocent wife in the whole scenario. His cheating was Jason's misguided cry for help and attention."

"Your fault?! His cheating was your fault?!" Tara exclaimed, shocked by Mya's admission.

"No, not my fault. But I had a part. There's a difference. Look. Marriage is hard work. Both of you have to keep their eyes on the prize. If one of you looks away, the other has to right the ship. When both of you look away, you end up like Jason and I did. Going through the motions. Maybe like you and Jax, too."

Mya paused. "You didn't ask me this, but you're one of my oldest and dearest friends and I love you."

"What?" asked Tara, who was truly intrigued.

"It's going to be hard to fix things living apart as you do. Neither of you is seeing the whole picture of what's going on with you each individually. Quality communication is key."

"Are you saying I have to move back?"

"Nope not at all. I'm only saying what I said. What I said was 'hard' not 'impossible.'"

"I get it," said Tara. "On another note, what happened with the nurse? Is she still around?"

"She transferred to another hospital out of state once she saw that I was fighting for my marriage. First, I complained to hospital administration – both of their jobs were on the line for creating a hostile work environment for me and they were put on probation for 90 days. I kicked Jason out of the house for 6 months. He did the usual – begging and pleading for forgiveness. Nursie thought she would swoop in once I kicked him out but I kept the pressure on him.

"I showed up – best face every day. New hairdo. New clothes. Going to social events with friends and co-workers – no dating though. Weekend trips with the kids. Spa weekends. He on the other hand looked like walking death. Obviously not eating or sleeping. Hanging out in my department every chance he got."

"She was still at the hospital for 2 or 3 months and once I was convinced that he was no longer seeing her, I let him back home, but in the guest room. We had a regimented schedule of activities that we did together that left him no time for her. I had complete access to his phone, email accounts, etc. Then, over time, things improved. We fell in love with each other again, found new and satisfactory ways to express and accept that love and here we are."

"How'd you find out he was cheating?" Tara asked.

"I caught them half dressed in a staff lounge. Do you believe that? I walked in and there they were! Half the damn hospital had seen them at one time or the other! I walked out of lounge in shock and Jason was chasing me down the corridors. I went directly to HR. The two of them were called in immediately. She tried to deny everything, but he didn't."

"Would you have stayed with him if she were still there?" Tara probed.

"You heard me say I learned that I wanted my husband. So yes."

"Wow – that's a hell of a story. When was this again?"

"It was 4 years ago. I couldn't talk details to anyone I was so saddened, embarrassed and ashamed," Mya shared.

"I know the feeling," Tara said. "Believe me I do. I never would have expected this from Jason, knowing how deeply he loves you and how hard he pursued you to get you to marry him. You had many, many choices but selected him. What the fuck is wrong with these men? It has to be in the genes.

"Maybe my mother in law was right. If you looked at her and her husband Clay, they looked like the most loving couple on the planet. But they had an agreement that he could cheat as long as he did it with one night stands when he was out of town so he'd agreed she would never be confronted and she agreed to never ask him questions. But then again, she was a psychopath. Further, group culture condoned this behavior."

"Well it may have worked for her for a while, but those type secrets never stay buried," said Mya.

"Oh my gosh you are so right!" Tara replied. "A 22 year old brunette 'secret' strolled right up to my mother in law's job one day. Didn't go well for the 'secret', my mother in law or Clay! Listen, though, we need to stop talking about this 'cause I'm ready to choke Jason and slap Jax a couple of times again."

"You slapped Jax?" Mya asked.

"Twice when I caught him. And I punched him in the mouth, kicked him and tried to knee him in the groin. I beat up the bitch, too," Tara explained.

"Good for you. I wanted to, but I had to keep to the high ground since I was in the hospital at the time. You know, clean hands and all. I couldn't have complained through official channels if I had gotten physical, but boy, did I ever want to!"

"Aren't we something, though?" asked Tara.

"Yeah – we're survivors," said Mya. "I'll see you tomorrow, love."

"Yes, tomorrow. Bye, friend." Tara hanged up her phone and sighed.

She started thinking about all that Mya and Donna had told her, but soon found that her eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. It wasn't long before she was sound asleep.

**A/N: Tara's asking the hard questions, isn't she? She's in a tough spot, being pregnant and all. **

**I'm currently watching the Belfast episodes. Can someone please explain to me why Gemma didn't stop Jax/Trinity earlier than she did? There were two obvious signs, not to mention the little subtle ones. The obvious signs were when Trinity offered to wrap his hands for the fight with O'Neill. You could see the waves of lust rolling off her. The second was when it was 3 am. Trinity saw Jax sitting alone outside and she joined him. Gemma saw the two of them sitting outside, his arm around her. Thanks in advance, 'cause I am confused by this.**

**Please review my chapter. SOA forever!**


	49. Chapter 49

Pregnancy Hormones? Part I

Jax walked quietly into the hotel room. It was a little after eleven and he didn't want to risk waking his family. His family. This had been a great week for him and he hoped they enjoyed their time with him as much as he did with them. Kind of reminded him of Lodi only without Opie and his family. He hated that this was all ending on Sunday and that he would be heading back to his mere existence in Charming. He couldn't call it a life – it wasn't a life without Tara and his children.

Jax hung up his coat and hat and kicked off his shoes. He used the restroom, washed his hands then peeked in on the boys. He saw that they were sound asleep lying in the middle of the king sized bed surrounded by pillows and he smiled. Jax tiptoed into the room, lightly kissed them and whispered "Good night", then left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

He then entered the living area and stood for a moment, staring at a sleeping Tara, curled up on the couch, holding her stomach lovingly. Her floral robe was open and she was wearing a short loose black nightgown underneath, leaving her legs exposed. The table lamp was on and an old black and white movie was softly playing on the TV. The baby monitor was sitting on the end table.

_She's so beautiful Jax thought to himself._ Jax walked over to the sofa and knelt on the floor next to Tara. He began pressing gentle kisses to her forehead as he stroked her face and hair.

As hard as it was to leave her in Lodi, it would be harder still this time, they had grown so much closer. At least he thought they did though she made it clear that they were still not together and that she was making no promises about their future. Jax prayed that things would work out for them; minimally, he wanted to attend the birth of their new baby.

Jason was pulling for them too. Jason told Jax about his rough patch with Mya, about how he'd cheated with a nurse from their work and almost lost his family as a result. He'd said that he was having a tough time with things at work and at home and that it was easier to go outside of his marriage rather than face the issues or so he thought. He said that the issues that troubled him were nothing in comparison to the issues he faced after Mya threw him out of the house. Jason called it pure hell. But he thought that if he and Mya could find their way back to each other, then Jax and Tara could too.

Jax stayed on his knees next to Tara for a while and eventually she started to stir. She finally completely opened her beautiful green eyes and Jax rewarded her with a huge smile. He was stroking her hair, smiling. The movie, 'Now, Voyager', was over and a different black and white movie was droning on in the background. Tara noticed that the bedroom door was closed and the monitor was sitting on the cocktail table.

"Hey gorgeous," Jax whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thanks. How was the game?"

"Bulls won. It was great seeing the game live. It's a totally different experience from seeing it on TV. Jason is quite the Bulls fan, along with the other 22,000 people there tonight. I've never seen anything like it."

"Did Jason come back with you?" Tara asked.

"No, he went straight home from the Center after he made sure I caught a rideshare back here," Jax said.

"Look at you – a rideshare," Tara teased.

Jax kissed Tara on her forehead again then kissed her belly. "Are you staying for a while?" he asked.

"Haven't I stayed here every night since the boys got here? What are you asking?"

"I was just checking – didn't want to assume anything," Jax stated. "Here, let me make the bed, so you can get comfy. Go sit over there for a second."

Jax helped Tara up and handed her the remote. She immediately found a contemporary country music station and turned the sound down low.

Jax made quick work of the sofa cushions and pulled out the queen-sized sleeper. He was surprised by its comfort, having seen the Seinfeld episode when Elaine slept on Jerry's parents' sleeper at their apartment and ended up with back problems. He put clean sheets and a blanket on it and brought in the pillows from the closet, putting them on the bed as well. He made a big show of fluffing the pillows and straightening the covers then he invited Tara to hop in, which she did after removing her robe. Jax eyed Tara's ass and wet his lips as she climbed in. Then he covered her, tenderly. He took off his clothes and got into the bed next to Tara, completely naked.

Jax lay on his back and Tara took up her usual spot, tucked tightly under his arm. "Want anything?" he asked.

_Just you Tara thought._

"No, I'm fine," she said.

Jax wrapped his arm around her, the other rubbing small circles on her belly as he hummed a lullaby. His unborn was busily moving around and kicking to beat the band.

"He's going at it tonight, isn't he?" Jax observed.

"Yes. All day, in fact," Tara pointed out. She paused. "Jax, I think we need to remind the boys about Sunday. That they're going with me to live in Fayetteville and you're going back to Charming. We can answer any questions they might have."

Jax agreed. "We can do that maybe in the afternoon? I'd like to take Abel out for a bit in the morning, alone. I'm thinking breakfast and a walk. Then both he and Thomas for an hour, then Thomas alone for an outing and lunch. This way I get a little alone time with each of them and we can follow up together with them in the afternoon."

"Sounds like a plan," Tara said. "And what about us? Do we need to talk about where we stand or anything?"

Jax thought for a moment. "I am crystal clear that you're going away from me back to your life in NC and that our divorce is going through as planned. So, I've got it," he said, with sadness in his voice.

"You sure?" Tara inquired again.

"I'm sure," Jax said. _Painfully so._

"OK – well then I'll call Mya and cancel her for tomorrow night," Tara said.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked.

"I asked Mya to babysit for us tomorrow night in case we needed to talk about anything. She was going to spend the night," Tara stated.

Jax brightened. "No, no, don't cancel her. I suppose there are at least a few things to talk about like how much I love you."

"She'll be here at about 6:30."

"Good," Jax said. "Maybe we can grab a quick bite downstairs when she gets here." Jax diverted his eyes.

"Yes, sounds good," Tara said.

Jax was pleased with her answer and she saw the heat in Jax's eyes, so Tara turned her face up to him and he leaned over for a kiss. As soon as his lips touched hers, heat and electricity shot through them both. Chaste at first, the kiss became more and more insistent. Jax held Tara's face in his hands, refusing to let go as Tara's hands roamed the hard planes of Jax's body as if they had a mind of their own.

Jax leaned back, wanting more, needing more, and he looked into Tara's eyes wanting to see if she did as well. For her part, Tara tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him roughly back to her mouth as he slightly turned the two of them, so that Tara was lying on her back.

"Tara", he whispered, his hands at her shoulders, at her neck, their tongues searching, clashing. Drunk with passion, Jax pulled away again, eyeing Tara lustfully, watching her breasts breathlessly heaving as an indicator of her desire for him.

Jax toyed with the fabric at the top of her night gown and fastened his mouth to Tara's breast, first sucking deeply through the fabric, wetting it. He then removed her breast from the gown and began to suck again and used his hand to knead the soft flesh at the same time.

Tara was writhing and twisting against him, moaning and arching herself into his mouth. Jax kept sucking and kneading until Tara's mouth opened, and she loudly keened her release. Jax freed her captive breast from his mouth with a final suck, lick and nip and he leaned back again, gripping Tara's face again, his lips at her ear.

Jax began to press smoldering kisses to her neck, up to her ear, her cheek, eye, tip of her nose, across her forehead, down to her other cheek, ending at her ear. By the time he found her mouth again Tara was returning his kisses with equal ardor, her hands clutching and scratching at Jax's flesh. They were wildly bumping and rubbing against each other as if in heat. Jax's cock and balls were throbbing and he raised up on his knees, positioned himself between Tara's legs then lifted one of her legs over his shoulder. He guided himself inside her and they both groaned at the contact.

Wanting to be deeper, Jax threw his head back, closed his eyes tight against the exquisite sensations and thrusted into her, setting a moderate pace yet going deep at every thrust. Tara groaned more loudly, spreading wider and angling herself so that Jax had better access.

He was lost in her, she felt so good to him. He was good to her too – at least he tried desperately to be. Tara had said one time that she hated him, but he knew now that she didn't – couldn't, any more than he could ever hate her.

Jax released her leg and gently lowered his torso onto her but kept his weight balanced on his arms. He rested his forehead against hers and Tara clung to his neck, the room quiet except for the sounds of flesh hitting flesh and the whispered panting and moaning of two people who were enjoying the passionate feelings the other was eliciting.

"I love you," he murmured as he worked his hips against her.

And it didn't take long before Tara had her second release. She screamed, her body twisted and thrashed but Jax continued to hold her hips tight to him while he continued thrusting deep and hard.

"Shhh", he whispered, "shhh", as she continued to cry out. "It's Ok…it's alright. I feel it too… I feel it too. Babe, baby…"

Jax gave Tara several wet passionate kisses as he lightly stroked her belly and abdomen, gentling her, as he nibbled and licked at her ear. Jax slowed his movement, as she continued to writhe, tremble, and groan. He pressed kisses across her face and savored the taste of the sweat he encountered there.

Jax was still inside her and still rock hard. Jax started to move inside Tara again, this time, grinding and sliding against her. Jax hadn't come yet and he desperately wanted to hang on – it felt so good.

"Tara", Jax moaned. He touched her face, her hair. " Baby…so good…I missed you…I have… ummmm…."

He lightly bit her lip, whispering unintelligibly. Still thrusting and grinding, Jax could feel Tara's swollen clit rubbing against the base of his cock and he pushed in balls deep. They both grunted in response. He shifted his weight to alternating knees causing him to dig into her more deeply. Her feet were planted on the mattress and she used her legs and hips to push back against him and circle twist when he was deepest inside. Jax cried out she felt so good.

"Tara…I'm coming…please…I'm coming. Come with me…"

Tara herself, could hold out no longer and she arched her body, spasming even as Jax continued to thrust. As soon as he felt her body jerking beneath him, Jax's release shot forth.

"Ah, ah, ah, ahhh, ugh…." Jax raised himself to his haunches, his head twisting from side to side, body convulsing at the sheer pleasure and force of his orgasm. He collapsed on Tara, totally supporting his weight on his forearms this time, aftershocks wracking his body as his breath hitched. He never broke eye contact with Tara during these most intimate of moments, recalling that she once told him she could see his soul when they were like this. And he desperately wanted her to see his soul and her imprint upon it.

Once the aftershocks and spasms ceased, Jax gave Tara a small smile and kissed her wet forehead before whispering "I love you, Tara. I've never stopped." He nodded his head several times to accentuate his point. "I just pray we can start again." He pressed more kisses to her face. "Just you and me and our children sweetheart…" Jax raised her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Just us – no one else, OK? It'll be different…better…you'll see. I'll be better…I'll make it better – I love you. Give me one more chance. That's all I'll need."

He gave Tara a deep kiss and smoothed her dampened hair away from her beautiful face before he moved off her. He went to the bathroom before she answered because he already knew what her answer would be and he couldn't bear to hear it.

Once inside, Jax relieved himself, flushed and walked the few steps to the vanity. Jax examined himself in the mirror and saw that he was still flushed from his lovemaking. He observed a few scratches on his chest and hip where Tara had gripped him. He touched the small lines and winced at the sting, loving that she had done this to him. Jax turned on the faucet, splashed water on his face and neck, and grabbed a face cloth from the rack. He wet it and quickly cleaned himself. Now finished, he grabbed a fresh cloth, wet it, turned off the faucet and went back to the bedroom.

Jax saw her as soon as he crossed the threshold. She was lying on her back, eyes closed, tranquil, rubbing her swollen belly, her face like that of an angel. God help him, he wanted her again, but he decided he would let her rest a bit. He gently sat on the edge of the bed, his leg crooked so that he was almost facing her. Jax wiped Tara's face and neck. He then commanded that she open her legs a bit, and he wiped between them before standing and returning the cloth to the bathroom and coming back.

Jax smiled and climbed back into the bed. He cuddled Tara and they lay together peacefully and quietly, with Tara nuzzling Jax's neck.

"Jax?" Tara asked.

"Yes, sweetheart," he responded.

"Has Jason talked to you about his rough patch with Mya?" she asked.

"He has," Jax responded. "Says he cheated for a year, Mya caught him, they separated for six months but got back together. He said it was hell what they went through."

Jax was open but was definitely concerned about where this conversation might be going, but he opted to remain engaged. So it was his turn to ask a question.

"Did Mya say anything to you?"

"She did. Told me the same thing, basically. She also said that the hardest part for her was learning about the part she played in the infidelity and breakup."

_Here we go, thought Jax._

**A/N: Uh-oh! Please review. SOA forever!**


	50. Chapter 50

Pregnancy Hormones? Part II

"I can sort of understand my role with Collette, even your first time with her, but I don't get my role with Ima. All I did there was try to stand by you when Abel was missing," Tara posited.

Jax could feel Tara's eyes on him but he wouldn't look at her.

"If you recall, I broke up with you that afternoon. Again. I broke up with you 2 or three times before that, but you are right. You kept standing by me, helping me, helping the club. I had to get you away – get you out, and I knew that Ima was the way to do it. You'd never leave me unless I hurt you badly enough. If it wasn't Ima, it would have been someone else."

"So you finally admit that you wanted to hurt me. Well you did – in the worst way possible."

"I know, and I'm sorry, so sorry. I should have held close to you, talked to you, told you about my fears, instead of taking the coward's way out. I know what I did was wrong, babe. So wrong, on many levels. When I found out you were pregnant through all what I did to you, I felt lower than dog shit," Jax confessed.

At that images of Jax and Collette fucking flashed into Tara's mind.

Tara gasped. She sat up quickly and rubbed her eyes, willing the hateful images away. "This was a mistake. I never should have done this. It's too much, too soon."

"What?" Jax asked, concerned.

"I shouldn't have invited you here. I shouldn't have allowed you to come."

It was Jax's turn to sit up. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did he imagine their connection this past week? This past hour? Did he really mean so little to her?

"Don't say that, Tara. Please, baby, you can't mean that, not after the time we've had. How can you say it was a mistake to let me see my boys? To let me see you, carrying my baby. How can you say that and mean it? What have I done to cause you to say something like that to me, especially now? Jesus Christ, Tara. I'm leaving in two days and God knows when I'll see any of you again! I've done everything you've asked of me…I've poured my heart and soul into this visit with you and the boys…"

Jax laced his fingers into a fist, lowered his head and pressed the fist against his mouth. His eyebrows were deeply furrowed in sorrow and in anger.

Tara observed Jax as he emoted about her statement and when she saw his reaction to it, she truly regretted what she said.

"Jax, during the time we were together, I held things back from you – always waiting for the 'right time' to tell you, always when things 'calmed down'. I should have learned early on that there was never going to be a good time – right time. I should have told you as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I should have told you about the letters, I should have told you when Piney gave me the by-laws. I should have told you about the times Clay and Gemma threatened me," she revealed.

Tara looked at the troubled set of Jax's shoulders as he sat on the side of the sofa bed.

"Jax. Jackson," she soothed. Tara reached out and put her hand on his bicep, and began pulling him back into the bed.

"I'm sorry – I didn't mean what I said about your visit. Of course, it wasn't a mistake for you to see Thomas and Abel. They miss you terribly."

"What about you? Was it a mistake to let me see you?" Jax asked, looking at Tara, hurt registering in his beautiful blue eyes.

"No, it wasn't," Tara quietly confessed. "I was very happy to see you Jax and I've loved every second of the time we've spent together. I – I'm just sad that the time is coming to an end and I'm not handling it well, damn pregnancy hormones. I should have told you that rather than picking a fight and using my talk with Mya and yours with Jason to do it. Will you forgive me?"

"Totally and completely," Jax said without delay. "There isn't anything you could do for which I wouldn't forgive you, Tara Grace. I love you, so much, so damn much."

Jax took Tara into his arms and held her tight. He could feel the baby moving and kicking.

"Someone else is up too, I see." He put his hand on her belly. "Hey, sweetness. Did we wake you up?" He smiled warmly, looked into Tara's eyes, and kissed her deeply.

"I'm sad about the visit ending, too," Jax shared. "I was thinking about it today."

Tara nodded in complete understanding.

"Tomorrow is going to be a busy day what with final packing and with spending time with the boys. Good thing you bought those extra suitcases. We would never have fit everything in otherwise!" she said.

"Yeah," Jax said. "I bought so much stuff to take back I had to buy two suitcases. Then I have that case of Garrett's. You brought two suitcases with you but needed a third."

"Yes, but that's because of you and your generous extravagant self and I love you for it. She kissed his cheek."

Jax grinned at the praise. "And it's a good thing too that you have been packing us in increments since Wednesday. We have too much stuff to pack in one day. How are you getting from Charlotte to Fayetteville again?"

"I have two friends picking me up at the airport. One will carry us with the car seats, the other will transport the baggage," she explained.

"Good," Jax said. "I don't want you carrying anything but your purse."

"How are you getting from Stockton to Charming?" she inquired.

"I left my car at the Stockton airport," Jax answered.

"You have a car? A cage?" asked a surprised Tara.

"Yes," Jax replied with a smirk. "I bought yours."

"Oh. But I guess you'll be glad to get back on your bike, though."

"You know it," Jax said. "Do you miss riding?"

"Strangely? I do, though we didn't get to do it as much as I would have liked."

"I never knew you enjoyed it that much." It was Jax's turn to be surprised.

"Lot of things maybe you didn't know," Tara said softly, smoothing Jax's hair behind his ear. "That's on me."

She pulled him in for a kiss and when it ended, the two of them lay there, gazing into each other's eyes. Jax was the one to break the silence.

"Sooooo, is this where we get to have makeup sex?" he asked innocently while kissing Tara's fingertips.

Tara waited a moment before replying.

"Why, yes, I believe it is," Tara responded.

The couple burrowed under the covers and began giggling.

**A/N: Please review. SOA forever!**


	51. Chapter 51

The Busiest Day

Jax was up at 4:30 as usual and Tara awakened right after him. They made love again, Jax rushed through the first part of his workout and headed to the gym to finish up, but not before stripping and reconverting the sleeper to a sofa.

After Jax left, Tara had a shower, put on the hotel robe and waited for Jax to return so that she could go downstairs, dress for the day, finish up the packing and prepare for their departure on Sunday. Thoughts of her conversation with Jax last night threatened to bubble up, but Tara kept tamping them down, determined to enjoy their last day together. She focused on what she'd have to do to be ready to leave tomorrow instead.

Since it was still early, she sent text messages to Lawrence and Mark, her married couple friends and neighbors in Fayetteville to confirm her arrival tomorrow and that they'd need to bring both cars and the car seats. History and architecture buffs, she'd bought them a coffee table book of the history and growth of Chicago.

She next texted the sitter to confirm that she was needed on Monday morning, though Tara intended to keep the boys home for a day to settle in. Her final text was to the housekeeper confirming her for Monday too as Tara would need help unpacking and washing clothes. She had presents for them as well.

She'd brought special presents for Jax from Fayetteville. She planned to give them to him tonight and couldn't wait to see his reaction. She hoped he liked them.

Tara then heard the pitter patter of a pair of little feet.

"Mommy!" Abel shouted.

"Good morning," Tara said with a big smile. She knelt down and gave Abel a big kiss. "Did you have a good rest?"

"Yes. Where's Daddy?" Abel asked.

"He went to the gym. He should be back any time now. Daddy wants to take you to breakfast this morning. Just you two. Would you like that?" Tara asked Abel, who was the spitting image of 4 year old Jax.

"Yes," Abel said. "Bekfas with Daddy!"

"Let's get you cleaned up and dressed. Is Thomas still asleep?"

"Yes." Tara looked into the bedroom as she walked Abel to the bathroom.

"Go ahead and use the toilet while I get your clothes," she instructed.

Tara walked into the bedroom careful not to wake Thomas and retrieved Abel's jeans, an undershirt, sweater, and socks. She debated pull ups or underwear and decided on underwear as they weren't going far and Jax would make certain that Abel used the bathroom. Tara had Abel brush his teeth first, then she washed him up and helped him dress for his morning.

Tara, with Abel in tow, was walking into the living room when Jax came in from his workout. Tara eyed his yoga pants.

"Say…nothing!" Jax said, seeing Tara look at his athletic wear. Tara made a show of pretending to zip her lips and throw away the key.

"Hey buddy," Jax said and held out his arms.

"Daddy!" Abel said and ran to him. Jax picked Abel up and gave him a big kiss.

"Did Mommy tell you that you and I are going to breakfast, then we'll hang out for a while before I bring you back? Is that OK?"

"Yea!"

"Would you wait for me while I dress? I won't be long," Tara asked Jax. Thomas is still asleep. I need to run and get dressed but I won't be long." She hastily kissed Jax's cheek and exited the hotel room.

Jax nodded.

"We're going to breakfast, but how about some apple slices," said Jax, walking to the fridge.

"Yes, please," said Abel.

Jax went to the fridge, grabbed an apple, sliced it and put it on a paper plate. He poured Abel a little milk and set everything on the cocktail table.

"Here you are, son. I'll be right out."

Jax went into the bathroom, washed his face, brushed his teeth and hit the shower. He got out, dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He quickly carried out his toilette then dressed for his morning outings.

When he went back into the living room, Tara was there chatting with Abel. He had finished his milk but had a couple of apple slices left.

"Set to go Abel?"

Abel nodded eagerly and hopped off the sofa. Tara walked Abel into the bathroom, wiped his face and hands then passed him off to Jax, who dressed Abel in his outerwear consisting of a coat, hat, and gloves. Then Jax put on his own coat and hat and stuffed his gloves into his pockets.

"Bye Mommy," Jax said and kissed Tara. "We'll be back by 11 and I'll take Thomas then," he reminded her.

"Bye Mommy," and Tara leaned down for a kiss from Abel.

"Have fun and I'll see you later," said Tara, as Jax and Abel were off.

True to his word, Jax was back at 10:45. He deposited Abel and left with Thomas.

"I'll be back by 1," Jax said.

Once again true to his word, Jax and Thomas were walking into the hotel room at 12:55 to find Abel and Tara playing Go fish and watching Paw Patrol. Abel had a small plate of half eaten chicken nuggets and fries in front of him.

"Hey everybody," Jax said, cheerfully. He removed Thomas's coat and hat then his own. Thomas stated to run to the sofa but Jax grabbed him.

"Hold on partner," Jax said. And he took Thomas into the bedroom, cleaned him up and put a fresh diaper on him. Then Jax and Thomas went into the living room.

"Can we play?" Jax asked.

"Sure, after this hand," Tara said.

Jax settled himself and Thomas at the desk. When Tara and Abel finished their game, they joined Jax and Thomas. Abel took his own seat and Jax held Thomas on his lap.

"So, Abel, do you have any questions about what happens tomorrow with Mommy going to North Carolina and Daddy going back to California?" Tara asked.

"Why can't we come with you, Daddy?" Abel asked. He was not one to mince words.

"Because Mommy needs you with her sweetheart, and I said it's OK, even though I need you, too."

"Mommy can come with you too, can't you Mommy?"

"Not right now Abel. I have to work."

"Then Daddy can come with us," Abel said, convinced he had found the solution.

"I can't son, not right now. I have to work, too. But guess what? I have something on my computer called Skype and that means that I can see you when we talk. And we can talk as often as you like, just like before. I love you, all of you, never doubt that. We'll all be in one place soon."

Tara looked at Jax quizzically, and he smiled at her a knowing smile.

The afternoon passed quickly with a few raucous games of Go Fish, followed mercifully by naps. Jax and Tara used the time to finish the last of their packing.

By 6 pm, Jax was completely packed except for his leather weekender which he would use for his few remaining items. He had the bellman store his packed luggage downstairs to speed up the checkout process in the morning. He had confirmed the shuttle and would be leaving the hotel at 7:00 for his 10 a.m. flight and he put his weekender bag down in Tara's room.

The boys had eaten thin crust pizza with spinach and broccoli for dinner and were bathed and in pajamas for the evening, watching Spongebob Squarepants in the living room. Tara was in her hotel room, dressing for their evening. It was an outing but a casual one – a light dinner in the hotel's bar/lounge.

Jax had showered, dressed and was waiting for Mya in his room. She should be arriving at anytime. Also Tara should be coming for him shortly. He put on his blazer and patted his inside pockets to be certain that he had Tara's things on him. He regretted not getting her flowers, figuring that it might be too much, but he decided that he would send flowers to her home on Sunday as a welcome home surprise.

There was a knock at the door. It had to be Mya as Tara had a key card.

Jax opened the door to a smiling Mya, carrying a big bag of Garrett's popcorn.

"Hey, Jax," Mya said, opening her arms and kissing Jax's cheek.

She stepped around him as he closed the door.

"Hello, boys!" she called out.

"Auntie Mya!" Abel yelled and ran to her, with Thomas waddling behind. She stooped and gave both boys hugs and kisses.

"What are we watching?" Mya asked.

"Punge bob scare pants," said Abel.

"Oh goody," said Mya. "I love Spongebob. I'll join you in a minute, so go on back and sit." They immediately obeyed.

Mya turned to Jax who was leaning against the wall watching all this with great interest. She handed her bag to Jax and he put it by the bathroom door. Mya divested herself of her coat and hat and Jax hung those things in the closet.

"Thank you, my friend," Mya said.

She gave Jax the once over. "Don't you look nice," she said. Jax was wearing black pants and a no tie black dress shirt with a tobacco colored blazer. His hair cut was edgy - high on top and slicked behind his ears. His beard and goatee were sexily ungroomed, giving him a bad boy vibe in contrast to the overall put together look he was sporting. Completing his look was a pair of expensive black leather lace up shoes.

"Next time we see you I am demanding that you take Jason shopping. He can't match his socks and pants, let alone put together an outfit," said Mya.

"I had a lot of help in the beginning," said Jax, "trust me. Now I'm also partners in a men's clothing store in Charming. Go figure. I was a men's clothing Neanderthal compared to Jason. Played it off like I didn't give a damn, but I really did. But I'd be glad to take him for some duds if I see you guys again."

"Not if – Jackson, when," said Mya and she winked at him. "But I'll have Jason call you. Maybe you two can figure out a way for Jason to get a couple of outfits. Plus Christmas is coming."

"Sure." Jax replied.

"OK, fellas, make room for Auntie Mya!" She launched herself over to the couch and squeezed in between Thomas and Abel. Jax sat in an arm chair over by the windows with his feet crossed at the ankles waiting patiently for Tara.

Within 20 minutes of Mya's arrival, the hotel room door opened and Tara walked in.

"Mommy!" Abel called out and Tara put her purse down and went to the sofa to give them hugs and kisses. She gave a hug and kiss to Mya as well.

"You look pretty, Mommy," said Abel.

"Pitee," Thomas said.

"Why thank you, Babies!" Tara said, hugging them again.

"What about me?" Jax said, pretending to be crestfallen.

"You look pretty, too," Abel said.

"Pitee," Thomas repeated. The adults chuckled.

"OMG, you look gorgeous," Mya said to Tara. "I love that dress. Is it maternity?"

"No, just loose – I bought it two sizes bigger to accommodate - and she put her hand on her belly."

"I love that shade of brown on you too. Makes your eye color pop."

Jax was grinning having heard that eye color phrase from Michaels many times.

"Wait – I didn't see those CFMPs you have on your feet. Zanotti's?"

"Yeah – I figure I have to retire these after tonight until the little one is born," Tara replied. "These are 4 inches."

_No - you'll retire those until you are back with me Jax thought. However long that might take. _

Tara made her way over to Jax and rested her palms on his chest.

"You look handsome," she murmured.

Jax stood tall, leaning over for a hug and kiss of his own. As he held her face in his hands, Jax whispered into Tara's ear softly, so that only she could hear.

"I love that dress, too. I love how the top of it is cut low to show me that enticing barely there purple lace bra you're wearing. I love how the dress ends 3-4 inches above your knees causing me to have fantasies about those long sexy legs. And I REALLY love that you have on the same stilettos that you wore to the reception on Monday night feeding my fetish about your toes, polished midnight black this time. Your beautiful hair is pulled back but I'm going to love freeing later when we're alone. You will remember this night, Tara Grace. I will see to it. I promise you." Jax then kissed Tara passionately and looked into her eyes for a really long time.

Mya cleared her throat. "Ahem. I would suggest you get a room but you already have one. So just get going, you two."

"Alright Mya, we're off. Bye boys!"

"Wait," Mya said.

She picked up her phone and insisted upon taking a half dozen photos of Jax and Tara. As she snapped the pictures, Tara explained about the snacks and drinks in the fridge and invited Mya to order from room service anything she wanted. Jax said that there were clean sheets on the sofa bed so she could use that rather than sleeping on the couch. Mya explained that she might crash with the boys as she was well accustomed to being pummeled by little knees, feet and elbows during the night.

"It'll make me feel right at home," she laughed. "OK you two. Photoshoot's over! Have fun and I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll probably stick my head in to say goodbye to the boys before I leave though," Jax said. "It'll be early."

"No problem," Mya said.

Kisses were shared all around again and Mya received a 'thank you' from Tara and Jax each.

They opened the hotel room door and off they went.


	52. Chapter 52

Loose Ends Part V and Pregnancy Hormones Part III

Jax and Tara held hands walking to the elevator.

"We talked about eating in the lounge, but let's go to the restaurant instead. I'm really hungry," Jax suggested.

"Sounds good," Tara said. "I'm kind of hungry myself."

They entered an elevator, got off on the 4th floor, and entered the restaurant through the glass doors. Jax and Tara walked up to the hostess' station and after greeting them, the hostess asked for their names.

"Knowles-Teller," Jax responded.

"I'm sorry sir, madame, but we don't seem to have a reservation for you,' the hostess stated.

"My wife and I are guests at the hotel and this is our last night in Chicago. It is actually my first time in this city," Jax said politely. He smoothly slid a crisp $100.00 bill across the desk.

"I hope you are enjoying your stay in the hotel and in the city. Please give me just a moment."

She typed into her tablet for a minute then announced, "I believe we can accommodate you after all. Please follow me."

Jax ushered Tara in front of him and he lay his hand at the small of her back as the hostess led them to a table by the windows.

"I hope this is satisfactory," she said.

"It's fine. Thank you so much," Jax said, giving the hostess a small smile which she eagerly returned.

Tara asked, "Where might I find the restroom?"

The hostess pointed out the direction informing them that there was a unisex bathroom as well, and pointed out where that was located.

"Unisex?" Jax repeated.

"Able to be used by people of an gender or gender identity."

"Ah," Jax replied.

Tara thanked her and said to Jax, "I like to be prepared these days. And no, we will not be visiting the unisex bathroom."

Jax seated Tara then himself. "I don't see why we can't visit it," he argued with a glint in his eyes. "Lord knows we turned enough of them unisex over the years before it was legal."

Tara grinned at the recollection. Just then the waitstaff quickly appeared and left menus, filled water glasses and took drink orders (club soda with lime). As she perused the menu, Tara pondered Jax's exchange with the hostess. Time was when Jax would have flirted his way to a table right in front of her, claiming it was "just business". Well, not exactly, though, because she and Jax wouldn't have been at a fine dining establishment to start with! She smiled to herself.

The two of them decided on their entrees, and Jax subtly signaled for their server. He put in their food order and the two relaxed.

"So tell me," Jax said, taking a sip of his water. "Do your panties match your bra? Inquiring minds want to know."

Tara looked around the restaurant. Since it was earlier than the normal dinner hour there were only a few patrons. She reached under the table, slid her dress up her thigh and hooked the top side of her underwear with her thumb. She raised up slightly and pulled them under her bottom.

Jax was staring at her – he knew something was going on but he was uncertain as to what.

Tara smiled at Jax and took a sip of her water. She then wiggled her underwear down her thighs and over her knees. Then came the tricky part but she handled it – held onto the underwear and stepped out of them under the table without dropping them on the floor. Thank heavens for yoga classes! She put the underwear in her lap, crumpled them into a little ball, held out her hand to Jax, then dropped the lacy ball into his hand.

Jax grinned. He partially opened his big palm and looked at the little garment, one eyebrow raised, before sneakily raising it to his nose, taking a healthy whiff and putting it into his pocket.

"Yup. I'd say it's a match though I will have to investigate more thoroughly," he declared naughtily. His blue eyes were sparkling with devilry. "Well played, Dr. Knowles, well played."

Tara nodded once in response to the praise. She remembered the gifts then quickly considered whether to give them to him now or later. She decided to do it now.

"I have some things for you," she said.

"Really?" Jax smiled, loving surprises.

Tara opened her purse and took out three small satin jewelry boxes. "Open the black one first."

Jax did and smiled even more broadly when he saw the JNT monogrammed cufflinks.

"They are 18 carat white gold," Tara told him.

"Wow - they are beautiful, babe. Thank you so much. I love them. You remembered that I have French cuffed shirts."

"I did. I know you had cufflinks, too, but I wasn't sure if you had any monogrammed ones."

"I don't so these are perfect." Jax rose slightly, leaned across the table and kissed Tara.

"Now open the navy one," Tara instructed.

Jax opened the box and saw another set of cufflinks. Only these were monogrammed SOA. Jax smiled broadly and he stared at Tara in appreciation.

"Thank you, baby. They are beautiful. I can just imagine what Dad would say – SOA cufflinks!"

Tara laughed. "I guess it is kind of incongruous. Certainly with the old SAMCRO."

"Well I love them. The fonts match my tats. I'm going to wear them to church Monday morning. The fellas will get a kick out of it. I'll take some heat, but I can handle it."

"You have got to call me Monday and tell me how that goes," Tara said.

"I will. Speaking of calling, are you on skype? I'd like to switch our scheduled calls to that if you don't mind. I promised Abel," Jax said.

"I'm not but I can figure it out. Can you give me a week to get settled back in so by Sunday a week I'll be on it."

"Sure," Jax said, still smiling and admiring his presents.

Jax reached into his jacket, removed his wallet and a business card. He also removed a pen and carefully wrote out his skype username. He handed the card to Tara. Though she didn't comment she made full note of everything, being impressed that Jax had a business card.

"Wait," Tara said. "There's one more present."

"You shouldn't have. Really." Jax said, but secretly loving it.

He opened the final box, a royal deep purple one, same size as the others. Then he looked at Tara, smiled again, and shook his head. Inside the box was another pair of cufflinks, only these had a monogrammed SO one link, and NS on the other.

"I'm speechless," Jax said. "Thank you, baby. I love you so much." He rose again and kissed her more deeply this time.

"You know, I love the cufflinks, but I love the thought you put into them even more." He fixed her with a heated stare.

Jax was just about to give Tara her gifts, when he spotted the server headed to their table.

"Food's here," he announced, rubbing his hands together.

They quickly devoured their salads and the entrees arrived right after. Jax had a prime rib, Tara had scallops. Like before, Jax carved a piece of his steak and put it on Tara's plate, only he didn't ask to share hers.

Tara cleared her throat to get Jax's attention, speared one scallop, and put it on Jax's plate.

Jax sat there, knife and fork in hand staring at the scallop on his plate.

"One scallop, Tara? Aren't I special, pregnant woman's rules and all," he teased.

Tara waved her fork as she chewed. "No need to thank me," she said and winked at Jax. "You're worth it, Teller."

"Yup, one scallop! That about sums it up!"

The two chortled and resumed eating, chatting and enjoying each other's company. Tara noticed though, that Jax became pensive.

"What's the matter baby?" she asked him.

"I was just thinking about this simple pleasure, the two of us sitting here enjoying an evening out, sharing a meal. And I thought about how I should have been giving you little gifts, doing little things like this to let you know that I love and appreciate you, and appreciated all you were doing for me, for the club." He shook his head and lowered it, sadly.

Tara reached across the table again and cupped Jax's cheek. "Hey", she said. "You're doing it now. Right?"

"Yes," said Jax.

"Oops," said Tara suddenly. "I need to excuse myself."

Jax stood and pulled out Tara's chair.

"Back in minute," she said.

Jax grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her to him for a kiss. He released her but not before whispering in her ear. "You ain't gettin' these panties back…"

"You are and will always remain a class act, Teller," Tara retorted.

"Yeah, I am and you love it."

"I do but turn me loose. I am a pregnant woman with no underwear on who needs to use the restroom."

Jax released her arm after another kiss and she walked off.

Jax took his seat and watched Tara as she walked away. Her legs in those shoes were amazing and he could see the movement of her sumptuous ass as she walked. Her hair was pulled back but its healthy glow was still clearly visible. Even though she was pregnant Jax saw quite a few men (and women) checking her out as she walked past. _Look all you want, thought Jax. But she's mine._

It had been pointed out to him many times usually by other women who wanted his cock that Tara wasn't the most beautiful girl or the most shapely. He used to be around crow eaters, sweet butts and porn stars all day some of whom were serious lookers at least until the life wore them down.

But it wasn't Tara's looks that got his attention and held him captive, though she was certainly very, very pretty, with a nice rack, great butt, long shapely legs and startling hazel eyes. It was her confidence, her spirit, her essence, that set her apart from the crowd. Anyone who looked at her just knew that she was something…someone special with a great deal to offer any man who was lucky enough to have her. That man used to be him and would be him again, he vowed.

Just then the server cleared their table and Jax requested the dessert menu. After a few more minutes Tara returned.

"Everything alright?" he asked as he reseated her.

"Yes," Tara said.

"Here's the dessert menu."

Tara said, "I'd like a cup of tea. Oooo - and the butter cake looks good," she gushed. "I'll have that too, please. What are you having?"

"I'm going to get the chocolate cake and a cup of coffee," Jax replied, but the cake was really for Tara.

When the server returned, Jax placed their orders. As soon as the server left, Jax spoke. "I have some things for you, too."

"Do you?" It was Tara's turn to smile.

First, Jax removed an envelope from an inside jacket pocket. "Another letter for you to add to the collection."

"Thank you," she said. Tara saw the expression on Jax's face. "I'll read them all eventually, I promise."

Jax nodded. Then he removed two velvet jewelry boxes.

"Those aren't SAMCRO cufflinks are they?" Tara teased.

"No," Jax laughed. "But I can get you a couple of pair of you want," he teased back.

He opened the small velvet box first. Tara gasped. The box contained a pair of 3 carat emerald cut 18K white gold diamond stud earrings. Tara covered her mouth with her hands and her eyes were wide with surprise.

"The GIA certificate is upstairs. Remind me to give it to you for the insurance," Jax added.

Tara still sat there.

"Don't you like them?"

"I do, Jax. I love them. They are the most beautiful things you have ever given me."

"Put them on," he said.

Tara removed her gemstone drop earrings and put in the studs.

"Beautiful, just beautiful," Jax said.

Tara's smile was so brilliant it lit up the restaurant and caused the earrings to pale in comparison.

"One more." Jax opened the larger box. It contained a matching 6 carat 18K white gold tennis bracelet. "Here, let me." Jax removed the bracelet and opened the clasp. "Hold out your arm."

She did and Jax saw that her hand was shaking. He put the bracelet on her, got out of his chair and squatted next to Tara, stroking her hair while she softly sobbed. When she finally stopped, Jax kissed her one last time and took his seat.

"That was a strange reaction for someone who loves their gifts," he said, concerned.

"I know, I know," said Tara. "Damn pregnancy hormones."

Jax picked up the boxes and put them in his pockets and Tara put her old earrings into her purse. What Tara didn't know was that Jax had a third box in his pocket – one that contained an 8 carat emerald engagement ring nestled between 2 large diamonds in an 18K white gold and platinum setting. He had been looking at traditional diamonds but this one captured the uniqueness that embodied his Tara. It was a Harry Winston. As badly as he wanted to get down on one knee and give it to her, his instincts told him that this was not the time. He would wait…

Now back in the moment, the server was there with their beverages and desserts. Jax asked for the check as well.

"You really shouldn't have, Jax," Tara was saying. "You could have put that money toward the children's college fund rather than spend it on me."

"Well I did spend it on you and I'm not taking the gifts back. The children's college is another conversation for another time. But you do really like everything?"

"I love everything," Tara said, fingering the bracelet and touching the earrings. "You did good, Teller."

Jax smiled and it was his turn to light up the restaurant.

Tara cut into her buttercake. "Oh, oh, this is so good. Here…" – she took another forkful and fed it to Jax.

"This is good," he said.

"How's the chocolate cake?"

"Don't know – I bought it for you," Jax said.

He sliced off a forkful of the decadent dessert and fed it to Tara.

"Mmmmm, so good," she said. "Another, please."

Jax complied.

Tara held her head up high as if she were royalty. "You may have one small bite of the chocolate cake."

"Thank you, Duchess," Jax replied. As he was about to slice off his bite, Tara stopped him.

"Let me," she said.

She cut him a generous forkful and fed it to him.

"That is really, really good," said Jax.

When the server arrived with their check, Jax ordered another slice of both cakes to go. Then he gave the server his Platinum Amex and he and Tara finished their beverages and desserts. They waited patiently for the server's return.

Jax leaned across the table and stared at Tara intently. She leaned in also returning his gaze.

"You have a little bit of cake just….here…" Jax said, and he touched the corner of Tara's mouth with his thumb. He made to pull his hand away but Tara grabbed it and sucked his thumb into her wet mouth, swiping her tongue along its side. She kept her eyes on Jax as she licked, sucked and nipped the digit and Jax could feel his face start to redden and his dick start to twitch from Tara's intimate act carried out in full view of anyone who cared to watch. The corners of Jax's mouth turned up in a wicked grin and his eyes took on that smoky glance that Tara loved.

Tara worked Jax's thumb sensually until the server returned with the carry bag. After she slowly released his hand, Jax added a generous tip and signed the credit card statement. He handed the folder back to the server with his thanks.

He then stood, after ensuring that his nether part was under control, pulled out Tara's chair, helped her up and the two departed the restaurant.

The hostess addressed them as they passed her station. This time, her small area was packed with patrons waiting to be seated. "I hope the meal was to your liking."

"It was," Jax responded.

"We hope that you will join us again."

Jax took Tara's hand and the pair walked slowly back to the elevators. They boarded one and found that they were the only riders. Tara entered first and pressed 19; Jax entered right behind her but he walked into her, forcing her to back up slowly until she was pinned between his body and the back elevator wall. Jax lowered his head until his mouth was so close to Tara's that if he spoke his lips would touch hers.

The elevator announced the floors and it was good that it did because Tara couldn't see the display and Jax's back was to it. It didn't look like he was moving either until they arrived at 19. Even though the elevator made stops on floors 11 and 16 and additional passengers boarded with them, Jax didn't budge from his perch.

Finally, the elevator announced 19. Jax turned and led the way off the car. He took Tara's hand again and they walked to Tara's room. He dropped Tara's hand, retrieved the room key from his pocket and let them in.

As soon as the hotel room door closed, Jax was on her. "Get out of those clothes but leave the shoes on," he demanded.

**A/N: What is there to say except please review and SOA forever?!**


	53. Chapter 53

Pregnancy Hormones Part IV

**A/N: I have opted to push the graphic sex envelop in this chapter. Please read (or don't read) with this warning in mind. **

Jax began rapidly divesting himself of his clothing while appreciatively watching Tara undress. His jacket, shoes, and socks and pants were off in record time and Tara was completely naked – except for her shoes.

"Let me help you," Tara said, breathing heavily. "You're taking too long."

Jax was able to flip the hallway light switch on illuminating the small space just as Tara grabbed the front of Jax's shirt, tore it open and pushed Jax against the wall just inside the closed door. Buttons flew everywhere and she roughly pulled the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, his tailored shirt then falling to the floor in a heap.

Tara threw her arms around Jax's neck and pulled his face to hers for a heated, loud, and sloppy kiss. Tara lifted one leg high and bent it at the knee, hanging it at Jax's hip. Jax leaned into her, running his hand down her leg roughly. When he reached her ankle Jax splayed his fingers and continued running his hand over her foot and ankle where he toyed with the straps of her shoes, giggling and hissing like a schoolgirl.

"Shit I love these fuckin' shoes." He sighed deeply. "Oh, baby, I want you so goddamn bad right now," Jax confessed, panting.

It was Tara's turn to giggle and hiss while she pulled his hair and continued her messy kissing.

This went on until they were both breathless and Jax placed Tara's leg back onto the floor. He spun them around so that it was Tara who was pressed against the wall. Then Jax leaned into her upper torso, while pinning her arms over her head. He kissed her face – cheeks, eyes, nose, lips. Then he kissed her neck, nipping her there and on her shoulder.

Jax kissed down Tara's breast, opening his mouth, sucking and licking her nipple hungrily. He forced himself to stop suckling and resume his mouth's travels downward across her rounded belly, bending as he did so. He whispered something to the baby and released Tara's arms, clutched her waist and dropped to his knees. When he did she promptly dug her nails into his shoulders for support and thrusted her hips forward.

Jax tongued Tara's navel, licked and kissed across her mons. When he reached Tara's pussy Jax groaned loudly. Tara opened her legs and bent her knees slightly, still holding onto him. When she did, Jax buried his face in her, his mouth over her, nose buried into the hair of her mons. He rubbed his beard against her clit roughly. Tara squealed when he did so and Jax gave a satisfied guttural laugh. He held onto her thighs, positioning his thumbs at her vulva and he opened her wide.

By this time, Tara was moaning and writhing nonstop against Jax's face. His tongue action was exquisite and it wasn't long before Jax had her at the brink of a mind blowing orgasm.

"Hold on," he said to Tara. He lifted her leg, threw it over his shoulder and drove his tongue into her again. Tara cried out, bending her knees further. She gripped Jax's hair with one hand, pushing his face deeper into her hungry pussy.

"Tastes so sweet," Jax murmured, working her clit with his lips just how she loved it. Tara started to quiver.

She cried out – "I'm coming Jax. Make me come."

Jax did. Tara trembled and gushed and cried out, her juices flowing over Jax's tongue. He had reached up and was kneading her breasts as she continued to wriggle against his torturous mouth.

Jax swiped his tongue across her pussy twice more, holding onto Tara's thighs again. Then he resumed tongue fucking her until she was at her orgasmic brink once again.

"Please," Tara screamed.

Jax stepped out from under her leg and stood.

"Jax!" Tara screamed in frustration.

"Taste your pussy on my mouth," he commanded.

Tara opened her mouth and Jax kissed her deeply, darting his tongue into and out of her mouth like he did with her vulva. Jax broke the kiss and turned Tara to face the wall. She eagerly pooched out her butt to him, he took his cock into his hand and slowly inserted it into Tara.

"Oh my God," said Tara. "So deep. So good."

Jax held her hips tightly as he pushed himself into her deeply, then almost completely withdraw. He did this again, again, again, and again. Jax loved how Tara's ass was cradled at his groin and he hissed wetly each time he entered her. He would periodically lean his upper torso into her back, rest his hands on either side of her near her face, and lick at the sweat forming on her neck, back and shoulders. Tara stretched out her arms above her head, as if she were literally climbing the wall.

"Fuck me, Jackson," she moaned, as he drove her toward yet another orgasm.

Tara reached behind herself with both hands and separated her ass cheeks allowing Jax to dig deeper with each thrust. She moved one hand a little bit lower and began to tickle Jax's balls and squeeze at the very base of his dick.

"Oooo, yes, yeah, baby, do that, keep doing that, oh, oh, oh, hell yeah," he grunted with each thrust. "You feel so damn good," Jax rasped.

He pulled out of Tara, emitted a low growl and dropped again to his knees. "Open your legs wide for me."

Jax then ate Tara's pussy from behind as if he was eating that cake he ordered for dessert. His eyes were closed and he was humming at the sheer pleasure he was getting. Tara was out of control, twisting, circling, and grinding her hips hard. She was pulling at her nipples, sucking her teeth. She was mumbling something but Jax couldn't understand what.

Jax quickly stood and thrust into her again, harder this time, faster. Suddenly, Tara's breath hitched and her head thrashed back and forth. She was crying out again, loudly. He could feel her pussy seizing onto him, her body jerking, and he quickly pulled out of her again. He turned her to face him, pushed her shoulders back against the wall, pulled her hips toward him, wiggled his hips in between her legs and adjusted his body so that his still hard cock easily entered her from the front – no hands.

"Ah, ah, ah, fuck, Tara!" Jax shouted, her pussy was so hot, so wet, and it was still pulsating from second orgasm. Jax loved how he could still do that to her – that they could drive each other to this place where only the two of them could ever go. Jax snickered in satisfaction at what he was doing to her and what he intended to do to her again and again. He had promised (or threatened) an unforgettable night and he intended to deliver.

"Oh, oh, I can feel you rubbing against my clit while you're inside me like this," she whispered. "Feels so fucking good. Don't stop. Please, don't stop."

Tara bumped against Jax hard and he gripped her hips hard, digging his fingers into her flesh as he loved her hard. The couple were panting, muttering to each other unintelligibly. Jax stopped his mutterings, cupped Tara's tit and held it to his mouth, licking and sucking roughly while he watched her face. He circled Tara's waist with his other arm as he continued to fuck her.

"Come for me, Tara. Come baby, I want to feel you gush your hot wet pussy juices all over my dick again. Give it to me, honey. Come on," he said, his voice husky with passion. Jax had released her tit from his mouth though he still squeezed it and used his fingers to torture her nipple.

Tara grabbed onto Jax's shoulder with one hand. Tara could feel the muscles in Jax's upper back knotting from his exertions. She grabbed his ass with the other, feeling the muscles there knotting and releasing as well.

Jax pounded into Tara, coming in contact only with her pussy and only where she gripped his shoulders and ass. He put his forearm at Tara's throat but was careful not to exert any pressure. Where he did put pressure was on her pussy and he was working it hard.

Finally, yet at the same time all too soon, Tara announced that she was coming again. Her body stiffened and her hips loosened under Jax's expert dicking. She was so completely open to him that tears fell. She cried out again gasping in the throes of shivering spasms and almost collapsed but Jax supported her by her waist and back.

He kept fucking her through her orgasm and in a few moments his own release exploded. Jax roared from somewhere deep in his soul as he poured his seed into her. His head was thrown back and his mouth was open, his toes curling then clutching.

"Tara!" Jax roared, and the couple went limp against each other after their bodies were wracked by the last of their orgasmic spasms.

"Goddamn, baby. Your pussy makes this blind man see…" he exclaimed.

Tara managed a small smile and Jax dipped his forehead to hers. Jax was still inside her, still hard. He dipped himself low, losing carnal contact and he then kissed her roughly, ending the kiss with a bite to her lip.

"Let's go to the bedroom," he said.

Jax took a step back so that Tara could walk in front of him. He smacked her butt cheek hard earning himself a small squeal, but Jax's eyes were glued to Tara's ass as the sway of her hips was exaggerated due to those CFMPs she was still wearing.

"Don't think that I don't know what you're doing back there," Tara said without bothering to turn around.

"In addition to looking at that sexy crow, MY crow, incidentally," Jax reminded her, "hey – who's not going to watch two rabbits fighting in a burlap bag?"

Tara turned around and slugged Jax in the arm. He laughed, picked her up and ran into the bedroom with her. He placed Tara onto the bed and crawled onto it himself and lay on her slowly, his weight on his forearms and legs.

"I love you Tara Grace," Jax whispered, and he followed up with gentle kisses.

After a long while, Jax sat back on his haunches, and turned to face Tara's legs, but he first leaned over and turned on a bedside lamp.

"I want to see – everything," he whispered. He then trailed his fingers lightly from Tara's thigh down to her feet and was rewarded with the appearance of goosebumps on her skin.

"Mmmmmmm," she murmured.

Jax located the clasp on the thin rhinestone covered shoe strap, opened it and removed the shoe from her foot. He then lay her foot gently back on the bed. Turning to face her other leg, Jax repeated the process, only instead of laying her foot back on the bed, Jax lifted it to his mouth and pressed hot kisses to her toes.

"Oh….." Tara said, softly.

"I love the black color on your toes," Jax whispered, his breath hot yet cooling after the wet kisses he continued to press on Tara's foot. "Will you let me paint them sometime? I promise to do a REALLY good job, sweetness."

"Umm-hmmm," Tara said sweetly, sighing. Her eyes were closed and she rubbed her thigh with one hand while she played with her nipple with the other.

Jax smiled, loving the sight of a naked, pregnant Tara lying spread out before him, her skin rosy and slick from his loving.

He released Tara's toes and rested her leg on the mattress. Tara's legs were apart and Jax leaned over her and straightened his arms. He used his legs to force her legs close enough together that he could easily straddle her. He gazed deeply into her eyes throughout, then shifted his weight so that he could grip his member.

Jax inserted himself inside Tara's wet opening inch by inch. Each time Tara thought he was completely in, Jax entered another inch. Tara closed her eyes tightly and arched her back reveling in the feel of his familiar and intimate touch. Her mouth was open and Jax put two fingers into it. Tara grabbed onto his hand and began loudly and wetly sucking and licking those fingers.

"Fuck!" Jax yelled, fighting an orgasm that was rising in him all too quickly. He was all in by now, balls deep, but he lay still. He could feel Tara's pussy surrounding him, enclosing him in wetness, warmth and softness. He missed this connection with her, this closeness. It kept him tethered, grounded, to all that was right with the world. He couldn't lose her – he wouldn't lose her.

Jax removed his fingers from her mouth and kissed her deeply, cradling her face in his hands. Tara was running her fingers through his hair pulling him to her mouth for more kisses. She was writhing against him sensually and Jax could feel her circling her hips, squeezing then releasing his hard cock. She felt so good to him. He finally started to move, so…so… so slowly and with an intensity he didn't know he possessed.

His weight was still on his knees. Each stroke started in his thighs, continued through the clench of his ass, into his hips and lower back, all the way up through his shoulders and neck. As hard, fast, and rough as he was with her earlier, this time he was slow, gentle, and tender. So much so that Jax fell drunk from the experience and another fine sheen of sweat emerged on his flesh.

Tara was moaning and whimpering beneath him. Jax buried his face in the crook of her neck and she could feel that his mouth was open and his lips were moist. His beard gently rubbed her shoulder and Jax's hot breath sent tingles down her spine.

"Don't move," Jax ordered, "stay still. Let me…," this last uttered as a plea.

Jax began to suck his teeth with each inhale and sigh audibly with each exhale.

"Fuck, fuck," he rasped. "Tara!"

He could feel Tara holding her body rigid in the attempt to remain still while he pleasured her. What was the word he read in that erotica book he bought her? Pillowing, as a Japanese euphemism for sex. Yes, pillowing. The word certainly suited this situation where the passionate intensity was at least a 9 on the Richter scale. Jax could feel Tara in every cell of his body, still slow, still deep, still….

Jax thought back to the day she saw him with Collette. Tara talked to him about what she saw and he knew that she was in the bedroom for some time watching. But he also knew that she didn't see this, THIS, because it wasn't there. It wasn't there with any of the women he'd even slept with including his ex-wife Wendy.

Tara didn't see the feeling of a love so sublime that it had no boundaries. She didn't see his heart full to bursting, his love so complete. She didn't see his soul being nourished by his connection to this love of his life. And she certainly didn't see his body ablaze from the enormity of the ecstasy he was feeling and only felt with her.

Jax raised his head and looked into Tara's eyes as he continued his pillowing, now struggling to maintain his agonizingly slow but intense pace.

"OK?" he asked.

Tara nodded eagerly. "Yes," she whispered, panting.

Jax raised up further, lowered his head and caught Tara's nipple in his mouth. Tara screamed as he tongued it roughly and she struggled to open her legs to him wider but she couldn't – he wouldn't allow it. Jax switched to Tara's other breast and she groaned in frustration. Jax leaned back and picked up the pace but only slightly, unable to continue with his slow grind any longer.

She screamed again and Jax covered her mouth with his hand. Tara bit into the fleshy part of his palm, and it was Jax's turn to cry out. Fueled by the pain that Tara had just given him, he continued his grinding, writhing movement.

"Ride me hard, Jax. Please," Tara begged.

Jax raised himself up again, reached behind Tara's head, and none to gently pulled off the ribbon she was wearing. He roughly grabbed a fistful of Tara's hair, yanked down on it hard so that Tara's chin was raised to him.

"Ugh," she responded from a place deep in her belly.

Jax looked deeply into her eyes, bared his teeth to her and strangled out an authoritative "No…the baby," he added.

"Put your weight on me, then. I want to feel it. Please." Tara pleaded again.

"No."

Tara tried to struggle against him, and Jax was enjoying the back and forth – turned on by it, really. Acquiescing, Jax slowly lowered himself onto her, decreasing the weight on his arms and legs.

"Ugh, ooo, yes, baby, yes," Tara groaned, arching herself into him. Tara grasped his back, running her fingertips down and through the tats that represented who he was for most of his life.

Before she could consider this further Jax raised himself, much too quickly for Tara's taste. He turned her over and used his legs to push her legs together. He sat on her thighs and inserted himself into her again.

The friction and the pace were maddening to them both. Jax was rubbing and grinding against Tara as if he didn't have a bone in his body. He gripped her ass as if for dear life.

Tara angled her chest into the mattress and slightly bent her knees, crossing her feet at the ankles. She was shaking her head from side to side, alternately raising it then resting it on the mattress. Tara reached behind herself, parted her cheeks again, and looked over her shoulder at Jax, wondering and hoping he would give her what she craved.

Tara was drenched with sweat, her own and Jax's. He pressed her chest into the mattress, hard, and ran his hand down her back and over her butt. He rubbed her opening with his thumb and inserted it slowly.

Tara hissed, "Yes, yes," she screamed. "Oh, oh…yes, give it to me. Do it, do it." She screamed again.

Jax increased his pace a little more, having lost his fight to go slowly with her. He could feel his own orgasm rising again. Still screwing, he circled his hands under Tara's shoulders and rolled them both over so that he was on his back and Tara was on top of him.

"Angh, ughn," Tara groaned, cross with him that he changed their position, but he spread his legs wide, never missing a stroke. Heated wetness from their congress was running over his groin and across his thighs, as he easily slipped in and out of her.

"Angh, ughn," Tara groaned again, opening her legs wider, placing them outside of Jax's. She bumped against Jax hard and fast, 2 thrusts to his one, her mouth open, but with no sound now except for heavy breathing and the slapping sound of wet flesh hitting flesh.

Tara arched her back high, her head dipping over Jax's shoulder and they both moaned as this new contact. Jax moved one hand to her throat and looked over Tara's shoulder, leering at her breasts and body bouncing as they continued to fuck. Jax's mouth was at Tara's ear and he quietly murmured to her of love one moment and of filth the next.

Jax's orgasm was closer still.

"Ugh, ugh, ugh, Tara, baby, I'm coming," Jax shouted. "I can't stop it this time…"

Tara dug her nails into Jax's thigh and fucked him harder, faster. His body stroked her deep in a rhythm of its own making and Tara was excited that he was losing control.

"Give it to me, Jackson," she challenged and Jax started again to knead one of her breasts and pinch its nipple with one hand. At the same time he used the other hand to rub her clit with perfect pressure with the other.

"Oh my God…Jax, Jackson, oh, oh, oh, ugh, ugh, I'm coming," Tara groaned, her body thrashing in orgasmic bliss as Jax stroked hard.

But Jax was quiet, straining, gradually slowing what had become the erratic roll of his hips.

"Fuuuck, fuuuck, FUUUCK! Tara! Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh," Jax yelled with each spurt of his life fluid into Tara. He was firmly held in the rapture of his own orgasm, his body jerking and he was erupting into Tara hard. He could feel his balls working to get out the last of his come as Tara's pussy grasped him hard, her fluids mingling with his. Jax threw back his head, closed his eyes, and ran his hands over Tara's body, panting deep breaths.

"I love you," he whispered between kisses. "I love you, I love you."

The two lay together a long while and eventually Jax gently slid from under Tara. He went into the bathroom and brought out a bath towel. Ordinarily, he would have suggested they shower and call for linen service, or go to the sofa bed to sleep, but he was too exhausted. _Either I'm getting old or pregnant pussy is hot to handle he thought to himself. Or maybe both…_

"Raise up," he said and covered the wet spots as best he could with the towel, then gave Tara the OK to lie back down. Jax found the bed covers, covered them both, and turned his body toward Tara, his arm lovingly resting on her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, suggesting that she was asleep already. Jax smiled and turned off the lamp.

"Goodnight Tara Grace. I do love you."

"I love you too, Jackson Nathaniel. Rest well," Tara responded.

Jax, surprised that Tara was awake, fell into a restful sleep next to the woman he loved.


	54. Chapter 54

A New Revelation or an Old Understanding?

Tara awakened with a start, sat up, and looked over at a sleeping Jax. Unlike his typical sleeping position, Jax was spraddled out in the center of the bed, legs spread wide, sheets tangled at his waist, hair tousled. He was facing Tara and he wore the most peaceful look on his handsome face.

The beauty and tranquility of the moment was interrupted however, when Jax suddenly snorted, reached a hand over the covers and scratched his butt. _God, I love him, even when he's being gross she thought and she smiled._

Tara lay back down. She thought about the beautiful day they had yesterday with the boys, the beautiful dinner, beautiful gifts. Then she thought about the changes Jax was making, wanting Skype sessions, moving the clubhouse, expanding Teller Auto Repairs, going to church, delegating SAMCRO duties, brokering a peace, holding Gemma at stalemate, making new friends, not flirting in front of her, reading poetry and classic lit, taking her on dates. The list went on.

But what awakened Tara was a bad dream – a bad dream that she was unable to remember. She didn't need to remember it, though since the living version of a bad dream would be upon her in a few short hours – her return to Fayetteville, alone with the boys.

She looked at the clock, 1:45 a.m. Just a few more hours and her time with Jax would end. She wanted to wake him, make love to him again, even though they'd loved for hours and hours after dinner yesterday. Jax had promised her an unforgettable night. He delivered. Now she wanted to give him one. She knew exactly what she would do to him. The short version? She wanted to hold on to him. Cling to him and never let him go from her again.

Suddenly the flood gates opened. Tara clasped her hand over her mouth to keep from wailing aloud. She rolled over, facing away from Jax, lying on the very edge of the king bed. Her tears flowed freely.

Jax awakened with a start as well. He found himself lying on his belly, something that he rarely did. When he looked to his right, he saw Tara, lying apart from him and not right at his side. He could hear her quiet sobs and see her shoulders shaking.

Jax turned on the light and reached out for her.

"Honey? Honey. What's wrong?" he asked, genuinely worried. They'd had such a beautiful day …and night. "Look at me, sweetheart. What's wrong?"

When he touched her, she flinched, and he feared that maybe they overdid it, even though he tried to be careful. When he looked into her eyes, he knew that she wasn't in physical pain. Jax slid closer and took her into his arms, holding her tight against his chest. She resisted weakly but ultimately surrendered to his warm and comforting embrace.

"Tell me," he whispered. "You know you can talk to me. Tell me what's upsetting you."

Tara sniffed. "I could go home now, if you hadn't done what you did."

"Tara…" but Jax stopped short. What could he say? He knew that his ill-thought out shenanigans drove her away from Charming and away from him. He knew also that it was not only what he did but how he did it – in front of and with the full support of people she considered to be her family and friends. No wonder that she didn't trust that she had a home!

So Jax just held her, kissed her, smoothed her hair, while she cried. He softly reminded her that everything would be alright, that she had a home, a safe place, with him, always, anywhere.

"Come to me when you're ready, or I'll come to you. Just call me and I'll drop everything. I promise you."

Eventually, her tears ceased. Tara looked into Jax's crystal clear eyes and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she believed him.

He held her tightly for a while longer then blessed her with one of his beautiful smiles, dimples creasing his cheeks.

"Gimmee a kiss and let me see that smile," he encouraged.

She did. Then Jax turned out the light.

"Try and get a little sleep, now," he said. He still held her, rubbing circles on her belly and stroking her hair. Eventually Tara's eyes closed but Jax kept vigil over her and his baby. It was a little after 3 am. when he finally allowed himself to sleep again.

**A/N: So it looks like all the old stuff – the Gemma stuff, the club stuff has fallen away and Tara is now dealing only with her feelings toward Jax. Please review. SOA forever!**


	55. Chapter 55

Until Next Time…

By 6:30 a.m., Jax was not only up, but showered, dressed and completely packed. He looked over at Tara, who was still sleeping comfortably. He smiled. He would give anything to be able to lie with her a while longer, but he had a 10 a.m. flight to catch and the shuttle was leaving the hotel at 7. It was just as well – he remembered how difficult it was to leave them when they were in Lodi. This time was so much harder…

Jax went up to his room to say goodbye to his boys. He entered the hotel room quietly and saw Mya lying on the couch. She raised her head and nodded at him as he tiptoed to the bedroom. He nodded in return and opened the bedroom door.

Thomas and Abel were sound asleep in the center of the bed, surrounded by pillows. Thomas had turned himself sideways, his little feet sitting on Abel's back. Jax went in, picked Thomas up, hugged and kissed him and put him back in the bed – properly. "I love you Thomas. God willing, I'll be with you soon. Be a good boy for your mother." He covered Thomas and put a card on the nightstand addressed to "Thomas, My Son".

Jax walked around the king-sized bed to Abel. He leaned over, kissed Abel's face and gently ruffled his mop of blonde hair. "I love you Abel, my first born. You keep on taking care of Mommy and Thomas. I hope to be with you soon. Be a good boy. I'll call you tonight." He tucked Abel in and put another card on the nightstand addressed to "Abel, My Son."

Jax walked to the doorway, paused, looked at his boys one last time and closed the bedroom door. Mya was sitting up when he got to the living area and he walked over to her.

"It was great meeting you and Jason. Tara is lucky to have friends like the two of you. Thank you for your care of Tara, Abel, and Thomas. Tara told me what all you did for them," Jax said.

"Nice meeting you, too, Jax. You hang in there – we're both pulling for you," Mya said. "Safe travels and we'll talk soon."

"You take care and tell Jason I'll call him next week."

"Will do."

Jax smiled warmly at Mya and left the hotel room to go downstairs to see Tara.

When he arrived in the room, Tara was stirring. Jax sat on the side of the bed near her and rubbed her belly. He rested his cheek against her and said his goodbyes to his baby. Tara rested her hand at the back of Jax's head and listened as he cooed to the little one. He then sat up and looked at her.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Why didn't you wake me?" Tara asked.

"I thought that the 'waking' you I did at 4:30 was sufficient. So sorry, darlin', but there's no time for me to 'wake' you again, as much as I want to right now," Jax whispered, his tone sultry.

Tara sat up and hugged Jax tightly. He embraced her in one of his warm signature hugs and kissed her face, cheeks and lips.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Jax said. "I love you Tara. I want you to remember what I said. When you are ready for me – call."

Tara nodded, hating that she was starting to cry – again. "I love you, Jackson. Please take care of yourself and be careful."

Jax held onto her as if his life depended on it. "I don't want to leave you, Tara Grace."

"You're not leaving me if you're carrying my heart with you," she responded.

At that, Jax smiled. He kissed Tara deeply, stroked her hair and gazed into her eyes. He kissed her forehead, stood, and dropped a card on the nightstand next to her, addressed "Tara, My Wife".

Jax walked to the bedroom doorway, and looked at Tara once more, longingly.

"Call me tonight," he said, and kissed two of his fingers while looking at her. With that Jax left for the lobby, then the shuttle, and then the plane that would return him, alone, to Charming.

**A/N: Please review. SOA forever! **


	56. Chapter 56

Pregnancy but No Hormones

_Two Months Forward_ \- _ Wednesday, January at 9:30 a.m. in Fayetteville_

Tara had been in a panicked haze ever since she walked out of her regularly scheduled OB-GYN appointment. What was she going to do? She couldn't think straight. She was 3 weeks into her 8th month. The fatigue and pain had persisted, even after she left Chicago; the yoga and mild cardio had done little to abate it, even though the doctor suggested that her discomfort might be greater had she not taken those measures.

Dr. Carter, Tara's OB-GYN, had just this morning placed her on immediate bed rest, which explained why she was now at home, sitting on the edge of her couch, crying uncontrollably. She thought about all the activity she had done that morning – up at 5 a.m., yoga and exercise, long hot shower, getting the boys up, ready, and to school, preparing herself and getting to her doctor's appointment. Then learning that she was restricted from basically all of that!

Tara cried harder, feeling totally overwhelmed with everything. She wished that Jax were there with her.

Jax!

_If you need anything, call me. Promise me you'll call if you need me…he'd said._

A crying Tara picked up her phone and pressed number 1 on her speed dial.

"Jax…," she sobbed.

"Hey, good morning, babe." Jax heard her whimpering. He'd just finished his workout and it was early. "What's wrong? Tara? What's wrong, Honey?" He forced himself to remain calm and quiet and wait for a response.

"Can you come now? My doctor has put me on bed rest until the babies are born. I – I'm afraid Jax…I-I can't think…" she sniveled. "I don't know…"

"I will come, honey. Of course I will. Don't cry – don't upset yourself." Jax paused. He correctly assessed that Tara was OK – if she weren't the doctor would have put her in the hospital instead of releasing her. "Where are you now, Sweetness?"

"I'm at home."

"Where are Abel and Thomas?"

"They're in school. The nanny, Teresa, will bring them home this afternoon at 4 and see to their care until 9 p.m."

"Your friends that drove you and the boys home from Charlotte," Jax inquired.

"Lawrence and Mark."

"Yes – Lawrence and Mark. They have a key, right?"

"They do."

"When is the housekeeper coming? And does she have a key?"

"Esme's due tomorrow and she has a key as well." Tara was crying a little less now as Jax's questions laid out possible options for the household's care - at least for today.

"Good," Jax stated. "Now I need you to do a few things for me, Sweetheart. Can you?"

"Yes."

"I need you to call your doctor and give him permission to speak with me about your health. Then text me his name and the number. I intend to call him right away. Will you?"

"As soon as we hang up."

"Second - text me Lawrence's and Mark's numbers."

"What are you going..," Tara started in ask.

"Hush," said Jax. "Never mind. I don't want you to worry about that. Now third, I need you to call your housekeeper and ask her if she can come over right away and stay until the nanny arrives. Then text me and let me know if she can come and what time.

"Please don't worry, sweetheart, OK? I'm going to make arrangements to get there as soon as possible. I love you. How do you feel?"

"Just scared."

"I know, baby. But everything will be fine. Do you trust me?" Jax asked, the question slipping out before he could consider the implications.

"Yes, Jax, I do," Tara responded, sincerely.

"Make those calls, send me the texts and I'll call you back shortly, babe," Jax said and hanged up the phone.

He checked his watch. it was before 7 a.m. Jax thought about waiting to make his calls but decided against it. He knew that time would get away from him if he didn't keep pushing forward. He phoned Nitta first and she promptly answered.

"Nitta – Good morning. It's Jax," he said, as pleasantly and calmly as he could manage.

"Mornin' Jax. Is something wrong?" Nitta asked.

"Tara just called – she's been put on bed rest," Jax explained. "I'm going to North Carolina right away to be with her. What I want to know is – can you come with me for the next couple of weeks? Tara has a housekeeper and nanny, but I'm going to need help figuring out and managing everything for her care – I need you Nitta. Please come with me. You can name your price."

"You know I will be there for you and Tara, Jackson. When do we leave?" Nitta answered without hesitation.

"ASAP, sometime today, hopefully. I'm calling Donna now to ask her to make travel arrangements, but I wanted to speak with you first. Thank you for agreeing to come with me. You are a Godsend," said Jax with gratitude.

"Well I'm going to pack now, then I'll be over right away to pack you. I'll call your housekeeper too. I guess you'll be staying at least 'til the baby is born," Nitta said.

_Baby…baby..._Jax paused. "Errr, yes, I will. I'll call you with the flight info and other arrangements as soon as I get the confirmations. Thanks, Nitta. I'll see you soon. Oh and Nitta? Take an Uber over to my house."

Jax jumped up from his chair and began pacing. Babies – Tara said the babies…BABIES…the babies are alright.…He wanted to call Tara back and clarify. But no – he would speak with her doctor – get the details from him. Jax then heard a ping – it was Tara's doctor's info and Lawrence's and Mark's numbers. Jax ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, his head exploding with the possibilities. Twins!

He then phoned Donna.

"Good morning, Donna. I am so sorry to call you early like this," he said.

"Don't worry about it – I've been up for the last hour," she said. "What's up?"

"Tara just called. She's in a bad way. She's been put on bed rest starting immediately and she's panicked. Asked me to come. It's why I'm calling you. Can you make me one open ended round trip reservation to Charlotte, North Carolina, and a second reservation for two weeks? I need to get there asap and Nitta's going with me. I'd make the reservations myself but I have to call Tara's doctor and make some other arrangements for her immediate care until I get there. I don't want her alone," Jax stated, obviously concerned.

"Oh my God, Jax! Sure – I'll get right on it. Is Tara OK?"

"I pray so," Jax answered. "They didn't put her in the hospital, which is a good sign, but I want to get the full story from her doctor first-hand. She's already upset so I didn't ask any questions about what the doctor said."

"Can I do anything else?" Donna asked.

"Just tell Ope I'll need to meet with him before I leave. We have a lot happening this week. And I'll need a ride to the airport, if he can drive his SUV."

"OK," Dona said. "I'll speak to Opie and email you the travel info."

"Do you have Nitta's information in the employee files?"

"I'm sure I do," Donna responded.

"Thanks Donna," Jax said. "I'll look for that email." He ended the call.

Jax was impressed with Donna. She was finally able to take those paralegal classes at the community college. Knowledgeable about aspects of civil law already, Roger Mills, Esq. used her independently to handle certain of his legal admin work. As such, she was now working 25 hours at her regular employer, 20 hours with Jax, and an additional 5-10 hours with Roger. She had also become a notary public.

Jax took another few breaths, took his seat, and dialed Tara's doctor's number on his blackberry.

"Good morning. This is Jackson Teller, Dr. Tara Knowles' husband, calling from California. It is urgent that I speak with Dr. Carter regarding Dr. Knowles condition."

"Please hold," said the pleasant voice on the other end. After a moment, someone different came back onto the line.

"Hello. Mr. Teller. I'm Meredith Greenleaf, a staff nurse practitioner here. I understand you're calling about Dr. Knowles." Her rich Southern drawl was comforting. "Dr. Carter was called in for an emergency this morning. But I am familiar with Dr Knowles' case and can walk you through everything. I can still have Dr. Carter call you if you prefer, but I thought you might be wanting some answers now."

"Yes, I do," said Jax. "I have several questions. Thank you for taking my call. Tell me – we're having twins?"

Meredith could hear Jax smiling anxiously through the phone.

"Yes, you are. We literally just found out ourselves. It is rare that a second baby is discovered this late in a pregnancy but it does happen. That was a contributing factor to the bed rest decision."

"Twins," said Jax. "I'm so excited! Shocked, but excited."

"That's a perfectly normal reaction to the news," she assured him. "Congratulations to you both. Bottom line is that mother and babies are fine but we wanted to take precautions. Dr. Knowles was complaining of spotting and we noticed some weakening of her pelvic floor. Those symptoms, as well, are not unusual this late in a pregnancy or with multiple births. Her blood pressure is on the upper end of normal and needs to be monitored carefully. We thought it better safe than sorry, hence the bed rest.

"But there's nothing to really worry about and we can assure you that the babies are both completely viable. We want to see her again next week Wednesday, at 11 am."

"I see. So, what does the bed rest entail?" Jax asked.

"Well we know that Dr. K has toddlers. So there's no lifting or bending as in bathing them or putting them in high chairs, car seats, etc. No chasing games or roughhousing, no stairs. We prefer that she not drive. She can go to the bathroom on her own, take short showers and baths. She should recline as much as possible but she can take short slow walks. No standing for extended periods such as washing dishes. No surgeries or rounds, but she can do desk work or consult from home for a few hours a day. She complains of fatigue and we don't want her overtired. She should also do her best to remain calm.

"I can email you our 24 hour pregnancy hot line number. If you have general questions, that's the number to call. If you have specific questions about Dr. K, call this number, day or night," Meredith added.

"Does Tara have any medications she's required to take?"

"Just her prenatal vitamins and an iron tablet. Once per day, each," Meredith instructed. "They're both over the counter."

"Can she be left alone?"

"Yes, but we prefer not. Certainly not for any extended period. Should she go into labor if she's by herself, she could call an ambulance but then there's the boys…It's good that you're coming to be with her, Mr. Teller."

"Jackson."

"Jackson. You haven't asked but no vaginal intercourse or penetration with objects although oral and masturbation would be fine, in moderation, no more than twice per day. We know also that she was doing yoga and exercising in moderation. That stops. But we can send you a list of very mild exercises she can do, which will help her with labor, but if she experiences any discomfort or bleeding beyond the spotting she's already seen, she should stop immediately and call us."

"What about her diet?" Jax asked.

"Her weight is in the normal range, even with twins. But she should have three 8-ounce glasses of low-fat milk per day and eat calcium rich foods like yogurt, cheeses, and fiber filled green veggies. I can email you diet and menu suggestions. Have you any more questions?"

"Not at the moment. Thank you for your time, Meredith," said Jax sincerely.

"I'm putting you back on with the receptionist and she will get your contact info. I assume we'll see you at Dr. K's Wednesday appointment?"

"You absolutely will," Jax promised. _Even if I have to ride my Dyna all the way there he thought. "_Have a good day."

The receptionist took the line and Jax was pleased to discover that all his contact information was already on file except for his email address. He was also listed as an emergency contact. He gave the receptionist his email address and ended the call.

**A/N: Jax is stepping up, isn't he? Please review. **

**Has anyone noticed that Tara never patched up any of Jax's wounds? She was always treating scrapes and bruises and applying butterflies, but never to him (unless I missed something). That's one of the reasons I had him to recall in an early Lies and Truths chapter how Tara treated his puncture wound when Kohn stabbed him. SOA forever! **


	57. Chapter 57

The Two Tangoed or Friends and Family

Twins? Twins! TWINS! Jax danced around his home office. He was elated – shocked and elated. Astonished, shocked and elated. Thrilled, astonished, shocked and elated. Though he knew that the bed rest requirement will be hard on Tara, he was pleased that she called him to be with her. This also meant that he would be there for the birth of his babies. Babies. Babies! BABIES! He would never get used to the sound of that! Jax pulled himself together – he had a busy morning ahead.

He checked his email. Donna had sent flight arrangements for him and Nitta. Looks like they would fly out at 3 pm from Stockton Airport and arrive at 10 pm in Charlotte, nonstop. She arranged car service for them to Fayetteville. He quickly considered the sleeping arrangements/hotels and just as quickly put that out of his mind. They could figure that out once they arrived in Fayetteville.

He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of the freshly made coffee, his mind reeling. Aside from finding out he was having twins, this was a big week in his life. He was to have a major inspection on the new clubhouse and dorms, set on a plot of land 2 miles from CaraCara. He had received his passport and permission to travel to Canada and was to meet Zeus Andreadis for first time this Friday. He was finalizing paperwork to join the California National Guard and was meeting architects for the next Teller Auto expansion. Further, TO's son as starting on his internship with Jax at Teller Auto in a week and his assignments needed to be firmed up. Most important was that he was working on a new management structure that would take him even further out of the Teller Auto day to day.

Then the was the matter of informing the MC and assorted business partners, such as Michaels Douglas over at Charming Menswear, that he'd be gone for several months. Then there were his ongoing projects at Jackson's and Chibs' Bar and Steakhouse, and the purchase and expansion of Impeccable Smokes, Ethan Zobelle's chain. And Oswald, Jax definitely needed to phone Elliott.

Jax opened his electronic calendar and discovered meetings of the MC Council and the Charming Chamber of Commerce. Then there was the Unholy Cabal – Gemma, Collette, Juice, and Barosky.

All this in mind, Jax at least knew who he needed to call before he left town. Others would wait. He made his most important call first.

"Tara. Hi, Sweetheart. You feeling better?" Jax could hear her sniffling. "I will be in Fayetteville tonight at midnight. That's the earliest I can get there."

"Really, Jax? You're coming? Tonight?" Tara said, excitedly and Jax was pleased to hear that excitement in her voice.

"Yes, baby, I am, and I'm going to take care of you. Don't you worry about a thing."

Tara was smiling as the last tears fell. She felt as if the weight of the world was lifted from her shoulders. She inhaled deeply.

Jax continued. "I spoke to Meredith in Dr. Carter's office and she assured me that everything – you and the babies are fine and this bed rest is a precautionary move. Now, did you speak with the housekeeper? Is she coming over?"

"She is. She'll be here at 10:30." _Within the hour thought Jax. Good. _"She'll stay until the nanny gets here at about 4:30."

"Wonderful," Jax said. "What are you doing now?"

"Still sitting on the couch, here," Tara replied. _Crying and worrying she thought._

"If you're up to it, I want you to get up from there, get your laptop, chargers, coloring book and pencils, and a couple of books, go into your bedroom, put on something comfortable, and get into bed. Don't hang up or put away anything. The housekeeper can do that when she comes. Go slow, take your time. Are you up to it or do you need to wait?"

"Yes, I can do it," Tara said.

"That's my baby," Jax responded. "I'll hold on. Let me know when you're in bed."

"OK."

Jax held on to the phone patiently. Oh, he knew he could have asked her to call him when she was finished, but he wanted to keep his connection with her. Somehow, he was comforted by it and he hoped she would be too.

Eventually, Tara came back on the line, declaring that she was in bed and had done all that he asked.

He could hear her rustling about then sighing once she was comfortable.

"How are you feeling now?"

"A little winded, but better."

"Alright," Jax said. "Take deep breaths. Tell me. What all did you plan to do today?"

"Oh my god, Jax!" Tara exclaimed. "I have to …"

"Wait, wait," Jax interrupted. "Deep breaths, slow down. No worries, no upset." He went to his desk and removed a pad and pen. "Begin."

"I am off work today, but there's Grocery shopping – cupboards are absolutely bare. There are clothes in dryer. Two more loads to wash. My sheets need changing. I need to call my work…"

"Any surgeries scheduled this week?" Jax asked.

"No."

"Anything else?" Jax said.

"…I need to cook dinner, put away the groceries, get the boys clothes out for tomorrow, spend time with them. I think that's all for today."

Jax read from his notes. "Grocery shopping – do you have Amazon prime?"

"I do."

"Please go online and order your groceries from there. You might even be able to get a delivery today, if not, certainly tomorrow. Is there anything you must have today?"

Tara thought for a moment before saying, "No".

"OK. For the clothes washing and your sheets, ask the housekeeper to take of this when she arrives. Also ask her to help you personally, too – assistance getting to the bathroom, bringing you food and water, watering your plants, etc., whether you usually ask her to do these things or not. It's for one day – she can go back to her regular duties after today. Do you hear me Tara Grace? I know you. You hate to ask for help," Jax teased. "What are her regular days?"

"Tuesday and Thursday," Tara said. _She might need to add extra days to that Jax thought._

"You'll ask her?" Jax repeated.

"OK - i will."

"Good," Jax said.

"As for your work? Call them, tell them only about the bed rest and the twins. Tell them you will call them Monday to discuss matters further.

"Dinner for the boys? Order in. So you're grocery shopping online and calling your work, ordering dinner, and asking the housekeeper to help you. Alright?"

"Yes. Thank you, Jax, so much, for everything…"

"You don't have to thank me for anything. I promised you that I would be there for you and I meant that. In fact, I want to thank you for giving me twins. That news was such an unexpected joy. Also, I can't wait to see you and the boys. Don't tell them I'm coming, please – let me surprise them. I will have a surprise for you too," Jax said.

"Really? What is it?" Tara questioned.

"You'll soon see. Listen babe, I need to get going. You'll call me if there's anything?"

"I will. I promise."

"Good. See you later, Precious. I love you."

"I love you too, Jackson."

Jax ended the call and called Nitta, giving her the travel itinerary. She was almost packed and would be at his place at 10. He reminded Nitta to take an Uber and bring photo ID for TSA. Then Jax phoned Donna to thank her and tell her he was having twins! He asked to speak to Opie and gave him the news as well. Church was at 9 and he would speak further with Opie after that. Opie agreed to drive Nitta and him to the airport.

Jax checked the time, it was a little before 8. He then called Zeus in Canada, who answered on the first ring.

"Jax, how you doing Cuz?" Zeus asked.

"I'm doing great, man. My old lady called an hour or so ago. We're having twins man!" exclaimed Jax.

"Congratulations! I mean it. You must be excited," Zeus said.

"I am," Jax said, "but she's been put on bed rest so I'm flying out tonight. Don't expect to be back for weeks. I know we were supposed to meet this week but…"

"No problem, man. Don't worry about it. But if you don't mind, we can still meet. I can come to you, maybe next week, after you get a handle on things," Zeus offered. "Maybe I'll bring my old lady. I have enjoyed these weekly calls we've had over the last 3 months but I figure we're long past due putting faces to names."

"It took me a minute to get the passport and entry to Canada paperwork through, being a reformed felon and all," Jax said, "but I totally agree, even though I feel like we've known each other all our lives."

"Yeah – shared DNA will do that, sometimes," agreed Zeus, "but in our case I think it's something more. I feel like I lived the life that your father wanted for you. And you're having twins?"

"Yeah – to know now that my dad was twins with your mom…. And about that life thing? I gotta tell you, I was jealous as hell when you first told me about yourself, all the shit I've been through," Jax shared.

"I get it, totally. I've told you quite a bit about my Mom who was your father's estranged sister, and a little about her parents, but of course, there's more." _ Much, much more Zeus thought._

"Isn't there always?" Jax quipped.

The cousins laughed.

"OK, listen, I've got to run man. Got lots to do today. We'll talk the weekend and set up a date, OK?" Jax said.

"Yeah – yeah sure. I'll call you Friday or Saturday to check on you and see when we can set something up. Please give my regards to Tara and congrats again."

"Take care, Zeus."

As soon as that call ended, Jax called Roger and filled him in. They too, would speak in more detail later, but Roger assured Jax that he was prepared with whatever Jax would need. For now, Roger would contact Elliott on Jax's behalf, run point on the cigar stores, Jackson's and Chibs' establishment, and the unholy cabal surveillance.

Like Jax, however, Roger was concerned. Gemma would know that Jax would be gone for an extended period and figured that if Gemma, Barosky, Juice, and Collette were going to make a move, this would be the time.

Jax's minimal 2-month absence could neither be hidden nor explained away as business. Also, the reality was that Tara could be easily located through the American Medical Association membership roster or state medical licensing boards, so there was no point in hiding her whereabouts any longer either. They agreed however, that Opie would announce Jax's leaving and the impending birth of twins on Friday, as a safeguard to his getting there safely. Gemma, and the crew would be put under increased surveillance until Jax's return. Unser, now completely retired from Unser Trucking, was staying at Gemma's, and neither man had an idea of the extent of his involvement. They knew only that he was Gemma's enabler and as such, bore watching.

They quickly finished the call and would speak the following week.

"Safe travels, Jackson, and my very best regards to Tara," Roger said.

"Thanks, for everything," Jax replied, just before he hung up from the call.

Jax quickly dressed. As he dressed, Jax started packing his leather weekender. He put in a change of clothes including underwear. He packed Tara's ring, and hanged up his gray blazer, gray jeans and heavy gray scarf and sweater, to wear on the plane. He also packed a white dress shirt and a set of cufflinks. Then he went into his office and packed his computer, chargers, disks, IPod, and flash drives into a small backpack. He would add his small clear travel bag of toiletries later.

This bit of packing completed, Jax put on his weapons and his kutte and headed over to the clubhouse for their regularly scheduled meeting.

Meanwhile, Roger had phoned Zeus as soon as he hanged up from speaking with Jax.

"Did Jax fill you in?" Roger asked.

"Yes, he did," Zeus reported. He needed to postpone our face to face under the circumstances but I volunteered to come to him. We'll set a date later this week and meet next week, is what I'll propose."

"Good. He and I discussed the risks associated with the timing of him going to Tara, given Gemma, etc. So, do you think we should accelerate the timeline? Are you ready on your end?" Roger inquired.

"Yes," Zeus said. "I've called Father already. Jax is in for a very big, very pleasant surprise."

"Yes, he is," Roger agreed,"and I'm glad it is finally happening. You're sure that Jax has no idea?"

"Not even a clue," Zeus chuckled.

"Well we will pray that things go well with Tara – that they are finally able to reconcile. It'll make things easier," said Roger. "So when do you think you'll go to visit, again?"

"Hopefully next week some time," Zeus said. "If not, the week after."

"Taking Opal?" Roger inquired.

"I'd better," said Zeus. "She's not gonna like my going on another trip so soon after the last trip, you know, when I visited Father in Corfu. I told Jax I might bring her."

"When are you going to make an honest woman out of Opal, Aegeus?"

Uh oh. Zeus knew he was in trouble. Roger never called him Aegeus unless he was in trouble…and he also knew that Roger wasn't speaking just for himself.

"I plan on giving her a ring this year and the date will be up to her," Zeus explained, hoping that this information was sufficient.

"When this year – Aegeus?" Roger probed.

_Guess it wasn't thought Zeus. _

"OK Roger. Listen, I need to go. I'll let you know once I find out when I'm meeting Jax. You have a good day," and Zeus quickly hanged up the phone.

Roger laughed. He knew that Zeus didn't want to talk about his plans with Opal, but he also knew that Zeus loved Opal with all his heart and she him. After all they went through to get together, Roger just wished they'd get on with it. _ Life is too short he thought._

Roger also knew how important family was to the Andreadis patriarch, Zeus's father, Stavros Andreadis, no matter how far extended the family might be. The spry 80 year old was quite fond of Opal, knowing her since she'd been a little girl. He had never dreamed that she would end up with his son's heart, but he was pleased when it happened. "Retired", he remained in Greece and only worked occasionally in the family businesses comprising the Andreadis empire. His remaining goal in life was to live long enough to see his only son, and the nephew of his beloved late wife, Gemena, Jax's father's twin sister, married and happy.

This is why Roger was pulling so hard for Jackson and Tara. He had known when Jax visited Tara in Chicago and he'd hoped for a reconciliation from there but it didn't happen, though Roger believed they were closer.

Jax had only recently started talking with him in detail about Tara. Jax explained to Roger that getting his family back was the motivating factor for much of what Jax was doing. So Roger was anxious, and he could bring the Andreadis' considerable resources to the table when need be. Unbeknownst to Jax, he had done so already. Time for those resources again. He only wished he did more when John was under siege. Well, he'd make up for that now with Jax.

**A/N: A little more information about Jax's newly found family. Please review. SOA forever!**


	58. Chapter 58

Get Ready, Get Set, Go!

Jax enjoyed the ride over to the clubhouse. It was a beautiful day and the fresh air helped him clear his head. It wasn't lost on Jax that today would be his last day of riding for months. He had gone no more than 10 days without cruising on his Dyna in the open air and he wondered how he'd feel.

But then Jax thought about why he wouldn't be riding for a while. He'd be with Tara for the births of his babies. He was getting one of the true desires of his heart. For that, he would happily sacrifice his love affair with his Harley.

Jax soon found himself outside of Teller Auto, the soon to be expanded again and rebranded Teller Auto. Unlike when he returned from Lodi, the place was bustling with customers. Though there were a few croweaters and members outside, the frat house vibe was gone.

Sitting on his bike, Jax quickly phoned Lawrence and introduced himself, apologizing for calling out of the blue.

"Tara tells me that you and Mark are among her closest friends in Fayetteville and I'm calling you with a request on her behalf," he said.

"Oh?" Lawrence said. "Why hasn't Tara called? Is she alright?"

"She was in a bad way this morning," Jax explained. "She had a regular doctor's appointment this morning and found out we're having twins!"

"Twins! Oh my God! Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Lawrence. But she has been put on bed rest as a precaution immediately. She phoned me early this morning to give me the news and asked me to come there. It's why I'm calling you.

"I'm coming into town tonight, arriving at midnight, but I am wondering if you can stay with her 'til I get there? The doctor doesn't really want her alone. The nanny will be busy with Thomas and Abel, but she leaves at 9. Tara says you have a key?"

"Yes, we do, and of course we'll stay," said Lawrence eagerly. "I'll go over right from work, see that she and the kids eat, and that Tara rests. I'll be leaving school at about 4 and can be there shortly after. Is anyone with her now?"

"Thank you so much, man. That will be helpful. Tara was able to get the housekeeper to come this morning to be with her. She'll be there until 5 or so. I asked Tara to ask the housekeeper to help out with some things that might not be in her job description like making sure Tara eats, helping her to the bathroom, putting away groceries, and so forth. I also asked that Tara get her sheets changed and her bedroom cleaned. Tara considers the bedroom her oasis, and it's important that she remain calm."

"I'll check," Lawrence offered. "I know how Tara is – hates to ask for help or accept it when it's offered. But don't worry. We'll keep her calm and comfy until you get here. What time again?"

"Should be in Fayetteville by midnight or so. Sorry I can't get there earlier. It will be a long day for you," Jax pointed out.

"No worries – Mark and I will stay as long as we need to. Tara's our dear, dear friend. Besides, we live in the same building so it's no big deal."

"Thank you so much for being her friends. She said that you and Mark reached out to her right away and made her feel welcome. She said you also picked her up from the airport in Charlotte when she returned from Chicago a few months back."

"Yes, we did. Again, no problem though. Tara is such a sweetheart. We actually met her her first day in the complex. She had a ton of groceries that she was bringing in and we gave her a hand. And of course, we fell in love with Abel and Thomas."

"She is that. And yes, Thomas and Abel are definitely lovable little monsters. I can't wait to see them."

"Thank you too, Jackson. Tara has told us a great deal about you. Your support has meant a lot to her these past months."

"True to Tara form, I had to force my support on her. I'm sure, then, that she shared our circumstances and she was adamant that she wanted nothing from me," Jax revealed.

They both laughed.

"But seriously though, please save this number in your contacts. If there's anything, call me," Lawrence said.

"I will. And I'll see you this evening."

"Alright, Jackson. Safe travels."

Jax checked his watch again. He had just enough time for a quick check-in with Tara.

He pressed 1 on his speed dial and Tara quickly answered.

"Hi," she said. Jax noted that she sounded almost cheerful.

"Hey, baby," he said. "You sound so much better than you did when we spoke earlier."

"I feel much better, thank you. Jax, I'm so sorry for the hysterical phone call this morning. It's really not necessary… –"

"I'm going to stop you right there, babe. I hope you're not about to tell me that I don't need to come. I don't agree. And I'm coming. The arrangements have all been made. I spoke to Lawrence and he's coming over straight from work and will be there with you until I arrive. Is the housekeeper there?"

"Yes, she is. She got here at about 10:30 and has taken great care of me. She's changed my sheets and otherwise cleaned my bedroom and bathroom, washed clothes, and put them away. She just gave me lunch and brought me a snack for later. I ordered groceries online as you said and they will be delivered at 4. I'm feeling a little tired so I'll have a nap soon. Where are you now, Jax?"

"I'm about to have the regular SAMCRO meeting, then I'm meeting with Opie right after, then head home. Got a lot going on this week."

"I don't mean to take you away from your business," Tara said.

"You aren't," Jax assured her. "I'm just going to be handling things a bit differently while I'm there with you. Remember, I told you that I delegated authority and reorganized my affairs a while back."

"I remember you told me that, yes," Tara recalled.

"So things will be fine. Did you do any coloring?"

"I did, right after I phoned work. I think that is one of the reasons I'm so relaxed right now."

"Good, glad to hear it. Baby, I can't wait to see you. I love you so much. I miss you and the boys, and those babies. Do you know the sexes?"

"I don't. Maybe we can find out together if you want," Tara said quietly. "I love you too, Jackson. Thank you for coming and for handling everything today. I felt better as soon as you told me when you'd be here I was in such a state."

"Well, you just rest and relax. I'll be there for you and the boys soon. I love you baby, so much."

"I'll see you later. Be careful," Tara replied.

Tara ended the call and considered the importance of the day. Jax, the love of her life, was being true to his word at a time when it meant so much to her for him to do so. From thousands of miles away, he sorted through her confusion, calmed her, and arranged for her and the boys' care, handling her to do list with aplomb.

He also booked himself to be with her and would be arriving this very day in spite of pressing business matters, club and personal. She remembered his stock phrase of "we'll get through it" whenever she would come to him with a problem, then he would hug her and go out to deal with the latest SAMCRO emergency, leaving her to wonder and worry.

But not this time…

Meanwhile, back in Charming, Jax had entered the clubhouse, greeted everyone who was inside, went into the chapel and took his seat at the head of the table promptly at 9 am. All the members were present, with Juice rushing in last. Jax first called for SAMCRO committee reports and all was well. He then called for business unit reports.

As Jax knew, there were a number of things taking place this week and next for SAMCRO, and he doublechecked on which member was handling what as well as who would be attending what meetings.

First there was the new clubhouse. Opie was handling that project with Rat and Phil. Then Lumpy's gym purchase and upgrade. Harry Williamson was handling the legal aspects, and Tig and Koczik, the expansion. Diosa and CaraCara expansions were handled by Nero, Bobby, and LuAnn. Finalizing moving the brothel to Nevada was overseen by Bobby, with assistance from Jury, and Roger. Aspects of Collette's buyout were handled by Roger. Then there were the new prospects, transfers, and their training, handled by Piney and V-Lin. Also, there was the matter of due diligence on the Galt Army Surplus Store purchase (Roger and Bobby) and due diligence on the purchase and franchise of Juice's enterprise, Clear Passages, (Roger and Bobby). Myles was busy taking the official notes on his tablet and Opie was taking his own notes as he knew he would have to check on things on Jax's behalf.

Jax was so proud of Opie. He turned out to be quite the businessman. He was the unofficial second in command of the JN Teller Group, as well as being the SAMCRO VP. He had met and worked with Roger on several projects and was overseeing several other of the company's exclusive irons in the fire – namely, JNT's purchase of Zobelle's cigar shops, the Teller Auto management, and the start up of the bar restaurant with Chibs. What impressed Jax most was that Opie was taking some online business classes.

It was imperative that everything was covered, especially the SAMCRO aspects. These 6 revenue streams represented the complete transformation of SAMCRO into a legitimate MC - no longer one percenters and outlaws. They'd lived that outlaw life and it almost killed the club along with many of the individual members. Few among them had not been shot or beaten and they carried the war wounds to prove it.

Now, Jax was all about SAMCRO's forward progress and peace in the MC community. He would stand for nothing less. Though he loved and trusted his brothers, he was careful not to announce that he was leaving town, however, as Roger suggested. They would find out at Friday's meeting.

The SAMCRO meeting lasted 45 minutes. Jax stopped in the Teller Auto office and had a quick word with Chucky, who seemed to be not only thriving in his role as Office Manager there but also handling the day to day competently. Chucky had hired a full time employee, Rita, AKA Cherry, Half-Sacks old lady and former Nevada sweet butt who applied for the position and was selected. She'd just successfully completed her 90 day probation.

Jax spied Opie waiting for him in the lot. He said his goodbye to Chucky and Rita, and approached Opie, signalling for Opie to follow him to his home. When they arrived, Nitta was already there and was immersed in packing Jax.

Jax parked his Dyna in the garage and Opie entered through the front door.

"Hi, Nitta," Jax said, giving her a hug. "I can't thank you enough for agreeing to go with me. Tara was beside herself this morning, and it was all I could do too cobble together her care for one day, let alone think about the next month."

"Don't you worry about that," Nitta answered. "I will take care of it. You know I'd do anything for you and Tara. So, are there any special things you want packed?"

Jax kissed Nitta's cheek. "Oh. Yes. Please pack a couple pair of swim trunks with the matching shirts, some flip flops, sneakers, one pair of black and a pair of brown dress shoes. Also two suits and the black and blue blazers."

Nitta nodded. "You said swim trunks?"

"Yes," Jax replied. "Tara's complex has an indoor pool."

"Oh…,"

Jax picked up on something in Nitta's voice.

"I didn't know you swim," he said.

"I don't do it much, but I do love it," Nitta responded.

"Does it have to do with the black women and wet hair thing I've heard about?" Jax teased.

Nitta frowned at him and Jax became frightened. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that…"

As Jax was sputtering his explanation, Nitta burst out laughing.

"Got you good, didn't I?" she said, still laughing.

"Yeah, you did," responded Jax, relieved that he hadn't upset or offended Nitta. He was truly fond of her and regarded her as family.

"It's just that, other than the Y, there are no public pools in Charming. Y memberships with pool access are outside my budget," Nitta explained.

_Not outside mine, Jax thought._

"But listen, Nitta, anything you find that you need or want when we get there, let me know and I'll get it for you. So plan on getting yourself a bathing suit. In fact, maybe you can order one online now and have it delivered right away. I'll give you Tara's address. OK?"

At the beginning, Nitta was very uncomfortable about accepting things from Jax. He was already paying her well and had helped her get her catering/home chef business started.

What she soon came to realize was that regardless of his past, and what some believed was his present, Jax was a kind and generous soul at heart who enjoyed progressing others. She loved him like a son and meant what she said about doing anything for him. So instead of arguing with him about him buying her a bathing suit, she simply said, "Thank you. I will."

While Nitta packed him, Jax filled Opie in on Zeus and Roger in particular. He asked Opie to contact Roger about having the unholy cabal watched in his absence and to let the club know on Friday that he'd left town to be with Tara. Opie could announce at that meeting that Jax was having twins. He also asked Opie to attend the Charming Chamber meeting on Thursday morning at 7:30 am, the MC Council meeting on Friday afternoon as well as handle the new clubhouse inspection. Jax told Opie that he planned to call in for Monday's church and arranged a time to speak with Opie at length about personnel matters in SAMCRO and JNT as Jax felt that some immediate changes were necessary.

Jax chose to ask Opie at that moment if Donna could come to North Carolina for two weeks when the babies were born, having learned that Tara and Donna had already discussed it.

"I'd love to have you come, too, Ope," Jax added.

"No problem about Donna, brother. Just let me know when. But never mind me being out there for two weeks. Tara will need Donna's support and you and I together would largely just be in the way and useless."

"That is true," said Jax, laughing.

"But maybe I could come for a few days, or so?" Opie asked.

"That'd be great. I miss you and I'm going to need your steady nature and wise counsel, man. I'm already freakin' out about the twins…"

"Anything you need, bro," said Opie.

Just then, Nitta came into the room.

"Jax, I'm done with your packing. Go have a look and see if there's anything else you want to put in or take out. But before you go in there, I want to suggest sending the food in the fridge and the food in the freezer with Opie. No point in leaving it here. It'll go bad."

"Good idea, Nitta," said Jax.

"That's great," Opie said. "Thanks, Nitta. Donna will appreciate not having to cook everyday and TO's son is coming Sunday, too, to stay with us during his internship, though I expect Marj will be sending food with him. I'll pick up everything on my way back from dropping you two at the airport."

Jax nodded. "Just remember to arm the alarm when you leave," Jax said.

Nitta then went into the bedroom with Jax. He went through the packed items, put some books into his suitcase, a package for Tara, took out a few of his clothing items and added others, then closed the suitcase and wheeled it into the living room.

Jax checked his watch. It was 10:45 a.m. Jax readied himself to take a quick shower and change clothes. His heart was racing because he was anxious to get to Fayetteville and to his wife and babies. He needed to calm down and a hot shower might do it.

Jax announced that he'd be ready to leave in 30 minutes. He took off his clothes and put everything in the hamper. He used the facilities, then brushed his teeth and stepped into the shower. In 15 minutes he felt like a new man. He put on his Prada body lotion and deodorant, dressed, and walked into the living room all in exactly 25 minutes.

Nitta took one look at Jax and said, "Good Lord have mercy."

Jax furrowed his brow. "Is something wrong? Did you forget something?"

"Oh no," she said, "I'm fine." _And so are you Nitta thought. _

"Are you sure?" Jax asked, concerned.

"Yes – really," Nitta responded. "I'm OK...you look really nice."

Jax went to the closet for his gray alpaca great coat and thick gray scarf.

"Did you check the weather there?" Jax asked.

"I did," said Nitta. "I learned to do that the hard way. Went to Oklahoma to visit family some years ago and ran into the worst winter weather – near zero temps and ice storms. I was not expecting that nor was I prepared for it."

Jax nodded and smiled. "Well, I'm ready. It's a little early but maybe we can get a bite at the airport and we'll have plenty of time for the security check-in."

At that, Opie picked up Jax's two bags and Jax took Nitta's bag. Jax raced through the house first, making sure that all appliances were off, windows closed and locked, stove and oven off. He then armed the system and locked the door.

When he got to the car, he noticed that Nitta was in the back seat.

"Are you sure that you don't want to ride up front?"

"Oh no, honey. I know that you and Opie probably have things to talk about and I don't want to be in the way. I'll just take a little nap back here. Wake me when we get to Stockton."

Jax entered the car, buckled his seat belt and off they went.

**A/N: We're getting closer! For those of you who have reviewed, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts about the story. Please continue to do so. Plain English, please review (lol). Due to technical issues, I am unable to respond to reviews right now and have reported this to the site, so bear with me. **

**I have a request, dear readers. Can someone tell me how to say, Father and Dad in the English form of Greek language? I did internet research and there's conflicting info. I wanted Zeus to refer to his dad as Dad in Greek but decided to just have him say Father instead. I would like the term to reflect a close, loving relationship between father and son, as opposed to formal stilted one. If someone can help me with this, I will be in your debt. Thank you!**

**As always, SOA forever!**


	59. Chapter 59

Home At Last

Hours later the travel worn duo were in the limo, minutes away from Tara's place. The trip was quite pleasant and blessedly uneventful. The two travel companions talked amicably most of the way there until they fell asleep for an hour or so.

Nitta had enjoyed watching men's and women's reaction to Jackson. Both sexes peeped and stared and he seemed not to notice and not to care. And of course, Nitta's presence with him was totally throwing them a loop. He was such the gentleman to her, solicitous to a fault. Nitta would remember this trip always.

But by now, however, they each had their second wind, and were anxious to see Tara and the boys. At last, they pulled up to Tara's building and got out of the car. Fortunately, the driver helped take their bags to the first inside door and was rewarded with a generous tip.

Jax sent a text to Lawrence and he and Nitta waited to be buzzed in through the second set of double doors. Instead, a handsome thirty something man wearing a striped robe came to the door and opened it to them.

"Jackson?" he said, "I'm Lawrence."

Jax held out his hand but Lawrence grabbed him into a hug.

"This is Nitta, our friend from Charming, who's here to help out," Jax explained.

Lawrence then grabbed Nitta into a hug as well, totally surprising her.

"Welcome, welcome," Lawrence said. "Oh, my goodness. It is so good to meet you at last. You all must be exhausted. Come, come let's go on up. Tara's awake – she slept a little earlier this evening but she refused to go to bed until you got here. Mark is upstairs with her. How was your flight?"

"Quiet and on time," Jax said. "Just the way I like it."

Lawrence nodded and smiled. He then quickly checked out Jax's clothes as they walked to the elevator and got on. "Who are you wearing?" he asked, approvingly.

Jax looked at him, quizzically.

"Who designed your clothing?"

"I have no idea," Jax said. "My clothes came from a clothing store I own back in Charming. The manager has a great eye."

"He certainly does. Do you sell online?"

"We do. I'll give you the information, including Michaels' contact, too. Plus I'll see to it that you get the friends and family discount." Jax winked.

Just then the elevator dinged on the 8th floor. It was all Jax could do to keep from running to Tara's door but he restrained himself as they walked to the corner unit. He whispered to Nitta to be silent and to stand to the side. Lawrence tapped lightly on the door, stepped aside and the door immediately opened.

Jax burst into a huge smile. Mark was standing there next to Tara who was smiling as well. Her beautiful hair was loose, thick, and glossy. She was wearing another kimono robe that was open, with the black gauzy gown he bought for her months back. Tara's skin was clear and radiant and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

They stared for a few minutes seeing nothing but each other. Tara took a single step, then Jax rushed inside to her and Tara opened her arms to receive him.

Jax cradled Tara's face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He gently pulled her closer and they kissed, tenderly at first, then more deeply and passionately, hungrily, even. After kissing and nuzzling for a few minutes, Jax remembered Tara's condition. He swept her up as if she were as light as a feather, carried her over to the sofa and carefully sat her at its end. Jax knelt and put his hand on her belly and felt the babies moving around frantically. It was almost as if they were clamoring for his attention.

"Well hello to you, too," Jax said, planting several light kisses there.

Then he stood.

"Pardon my manners," Jax said, and he walked over to Lawrence's husband, Mark. "I'm Jackson."

"Well I should hope so," Mark responded, smiling. Like Lawrence, he ignored Jax's outstretched hand and pulled Jax in not only for a hug but also for a kiss on each cheek.

Jax looked at Tara. "I believe you know this person." Jax walked back to the door and ushered Nitta in.

"Nitta! Oh my God." Tara held up her arms and was clutching and opening her fists, new tears flowing freely.

"Nitta," she said again, as Nitta rushed over, bent at the waist and gave Tara a big hug and kiss.

"You had us all so worried." Nitta gave Tara kisses, and hugged her again, warmly.

Tara looked at Jax and said, "Nitta had better be my surprise because I don't think I can take anything more without going into labor."

Jax smiled. Mark was fanning his own tears and wearing the "awwww" face while Lawrence was busily dragging in the bags.

"Please, take off your coats," Tara said.

Jax helped Nitta with her coat and she sat down on the couch next to Tara, holding her hand. Mark took the coat and put it in the coat closet, while Jax removed his coat, hat and scarf. Mark took Jax's things and put them in the coat closet as well. Jax came over to Tara and sat on the arm of the sofa by her and held her other hand, the two stealing loving glances at each other.

Lawrence and Mark nodded at each other. "We're going to get ready to go in a few minutes but we want to get you settled first, Jax and Nitta. Please follow us."

They rose. "The couch is a queen sofa sleeper, and we can set it up for you if you like."

"I'll take care of it," Jax said.

They walked to Tara's bedroom. "We cleared space in her closet for your things and there's a drawer cleared as well. There's also space in Thomas's and Abel's rooms in their closets and a drawer in each as well. Their bedrooms are down the corridor on the opposite side of the apartment.

"We didn't know if you'd be hungry, so we prepared a small lasagna. There's fresh fruit, crackers and cheeses as well if you want something lighter."

"There's pizza left over from dinner, too," Tara called out from her seat.

Mark picked up. "There's a full bath in Tara's room, a shared full bath by the boys rooms, and a half bath with a shower here," and they opened a door near the coat closet. "You see the kitchen and dining areas.

"May we do anything else for you?"

"No, you've done so much already. Thank you both," said Jax. "You two go on home and get some rest. Thanks again for looking out for her."

"We'll check in again tomorrow," they said. "Have a good night."

"You, too," said Jax. He walked them to the door and secured it for the night after Lawrence and Mark left.

"I anxious to see my boys, but I want to get both of you settled first," said Jax.

"C'mon babe. Let's get you to bed," Jax said. He and Nitta helped Tara to stand and supported her as she slowly walked to her bedroom.

"Bathroom," Tara said. Jax nodded and walked her to the door. "I can go alone," she said. Tara walked in and closed the door.

Jax went into the bedroom, moved Tara's computer and her books to the nightstand, fluffed her pillows and straightened the covers. He heard the flush, then sink water running, and then the door opened. Jax rushed to her, helped her remove her robe and helped her get into the bed. He knelt by her for a few minutes, holding her hand and smoothing her hair.

He leaned over and kissed her. "I'll be back in a minute," Jax said, rising and heading back to the living room. "Where are the linens for the sofa bed?"

Tara told him, he retrieved them and went into the living room. where Nitta was still on the couch. She reached out for the sheets.

Jax quickly pulled the sheets away. "You sit over there for a minute, please," he said, pointing to a chair.

"Absolutely not!" said Nitta. "I can sleep on the couch."

Jax shook his head no. "Listen - you've been on the go since six 6 am when I called you and you're going to get a decent night's rest in a bed," Jax said.

""Yes, Daddy," Nitta teased. Jax removed the couch cushions, opened the sofa bed, and made it up for the night. Nitta was over at her suitcase, removing her night clothes as well as her toilette articles and she disappeared into the bathroom.

Jax walked over to the bathroom, tapped on the door and spoke to Nitta through the door.

"Bed's all set, Nitta. Have a good night and thanks again for everything. See you in the morning. Oh, I plan to go to the gym in the morning so don't be alarmed if you hear the door."

Jax picked up his weekender and dropped it by Tara's door. He then went down the corridor and walked into a bedroom. He flicked on the light. It was Thomas's room. Jax gasped and began to tear up at the sight of the little body lying there peacefully. He rushed to the bed, stroked Thomas's head and kissed him. They'd been having skype phone sessions but seeing how much Thomas had grown in person! Jax said a silent prayer – he didn't believe he could leave them again. Things had to work out this time!

After a few moments, Jax rose, turned off the light and left for the 3rd bedroom. Again he turned on the light.

Like Thomas, Abel had grown too. His little boy typically called him 3-4 times a week on the phone Jax had given him, in addition to the two regular Skype sessions per week. Abel chatted about school, his friends, his play dates, games he played and how he helped Tara and Thomas. Such a loving, caring boy, and Tara raised him to be that. Jax was so proud! He lightly ruffled Abel's hair, knowing him to be a hard sleeper, and kissed him as well. Jax turned off the light, returned to Tara's room, picked up his weekender and toted it inside Tara's bedroom.

Tara was lying in bed, facing the door, anxiously waiting for Jax to come in. She missed him so much! Jax held up one finger, ducked into the bathroom and was back out in seconds, seemed like. He removed his clothes, dropped them into Tara's chair and got into bed with Tara, wearing his boxer brief's and tee shirt.

"You're being a bit presumptuous aren't you?" Tara teased, as Jax scooted over to her.

"Not at all," said Jax confidently. "Meredith told me that a body pillow will help you sleep better. I'm volunteering for the job."

"I already have a body pillow," Tara playfully argued.

"You might, but your body pillow can't do this."

Jax then spooned Tara, wrapped her in his arms and planted warm kisses on her neck and cheek.

"I'm the new and improved model," he murmured.

"Mmmmmm, touche'," Tara said.

She could feel the vibration of Jax's chuckling and it warmed her.

"Seriously though, Jax. Thank you so much for coming. I am so glad you're here. Dr. Carter said 'bed rest' and I went into serious panic mode and fear about how I could realistically keep the boys going set in."

"I know, honey, I know. But this isn't something that you have to face alone. Also, you don't have to thank me for doing right by you and the boys. You're my wife, they're my sons, and these are – whatever sexes they are," he said, stroking Tara's belly. "I've done nothing more than a truly loving husband would." He gave Tara more kisses.

Jax softened his voice. "What time are the monsters up?"

"At 7," Tara said. "They have breakfast, get washed up and dressed, then I leave to take them to school at 8:15. Esme picks them up at 4 and stays until 9."

"I'll handle that," Jax said. "I'll probably go to the gym in the morning before they're up."

"Take my phone," Tara said. "It has the codes to get into the gym and so forth. I'll get you your own access in the morning."

"Is the housekeeper coming tomorrow?" he asked.

"Teresa. Yes, for a few hours. She did quite a bit of her work today. Baby, it was thoughtful of you to bring Nitta.," Tara said.

"Well, you're totally out of commission and stressed, so I figure Nitta can help up both - look at everyone's schedule and commitments, find the gaps and help make necessary changes. Fill in with recommendations for additional staff if need be. She'll be here for about 2 weeks so we need to make good use of her time here."

"Well I'm not comfortable with her in there on the couch," Tara said. "There are 10 units in this complex that are set up as furnished Airbnb residences. Maybe we can check tomorrow if there's a studio or 1 bedroom unit available. At least she can be comfortable and have some privacy when she wants."

"Ten units you said?" Jax asked.

"Yes. There are several studios and 1 bedroom units in this building and two and three bedroom units in another nearby building next to the clubhouse, pool and gym."

"That's great. I know that Nitta wants to swim while she's here. She ordered a suit online. It's supposed to be here Friday. Also, I might try to snag a studio to set up as an office. That way I don't have to disturb you or use your space for my computer, documents, etc. But for now, no more talking. You get some rest. We can talk more tomorrow."

Tara sighed deeply and snuggled closer, never having felt as safe and secure as she did in these moments.

"I love you, Tara Grace," Jax whispered. "Do you love me?"

"I love you Jackson Nathaniel." Tara lifted Jax's hand and kissed it before returning it to its place.

"And I love you too, babies," Jax said, stroking Tara's belly lovingly.

Already at the brink of exhaustion, it wasn't long before Tara's breathing was even and she was sound asleep.

Jax lay there thinking about his family. This place was not large enough to accommodate Tara and four children, and him. Also, if she were to stay in Fayetteville, she'd need much more help, which still put additional responsibility on her in that the staff would have to be managed. And what about her career? Tara worked too hard to walk away from it.

No. There was only one way all this could work. He and Tara had to be together. She would need his love, support and resources. They needed a larger house so that they could live and breathe. And he didn't care where. He would have to speed up his plan for he was not leaving them again. And unlike the past, he would tell her sooner rather than later what he intended to do, without fail.

**A/N: I hope this chapter is OK. I rushed it as I, like many of you, was anxious to get Jax to Fayetteville. Please review. The site isn't yet updating reviews, but I get any reviews you post through my email account. SOA forever!**


	60. Chapter 60

Sooner Rather Than Later – Part I

But exactly when was sooner rather than later for Jax's announcement that he was not leaving Tara and his children?

It wasn't during Jax's first seven days in Fayetteville. But during this time period, however, Tara had arranged a studio Airbnb unit for Jax to use as an office and a 1 bedroom unit for Nitta to use as her personal residence/home chef kitchen; Tara had worked out an arrangement with the hospital to consult from her home up until the time of her delivery and would be available to work primarily from home starting 10 weeks after the birth of the twins. Nitta proposed immediate household schedule changes for Teresa and Esme up to Tara's delivery, another schedule during Tara's hospitalization, and yet a third schedule to start once the babies came home; Jax took over morning and weekend childcare duties including transportation, playdates, swimming lessons and birthday parties; Jax and Tara shopped online for nursery furniture, layettes, and Jax's office furniture; they purchased a toddler bed for Thomas and enlisted Lawrence and Mark to help move Thomas into Abel's room.

Jax set a meeting date with Zeus and arranged an Airbnb for Zeus's stay; Jax addressed SAMCRO and Teller Group personnel issues with Opie's input and prepared an announcement implementing the changes. Jax took Tara to a doctor's appointment (his first with her – mother and babies were doing fine); he assisted Tara with her alternate day baths, showers, her daily moisturizing, dressing (socks in particular), walks, lunches, weekend breakfasts; and had very, very creative and sensual sexual activities with Tara – activities that not only obeyed Tara's doctor's instructions but also left both her and Jax sweaty, breathless, and satisfied; Nitta and Teresa shopped and stocked not only Tara's residence but also the studio, as Tara liked to spend time there with Jax while he worked.

So when was sooner rather than later?

It wasn't during Jax's second 7 days in Fayetteville. He attended SAMCRO regularly scheduled church meetings via audio conference; Jax alerted Michaels to expect calls from Lawrence and Mark; he did check-ins with Opie, Nero, Roger, Chucky, Donna, Bobby, Chibs and Elliot; Jax selected books on Amazon but placed the orders with Mr. Wiley, requesting that he send the books to Fayetteville. Jax carried out his regularly duties with Thomas and Abel.

The new nursery was completed with wall art, bassinettes, car seats, diapers, all the necessary bells and whistles (a few unnecessary ones, too, like stuffed animals, a plastic apple with chimes inside, and a child's reading computer); Jax's studio was transformed into a small office complete with printer, desk, desk chair, and file cabinet; Nitta was preparing frozen meals not only for Jax's family but also for Lawrence and Mark, both of whom adored her cooking; Teresa was helping Nitta with meal prep for the family and was quite the home cook on her own; Tara did a consult on a pediatric surgery case that was ultimately successful and saved the life of a 4 month old girl (Jax was so proud of her!); preparations were made for the pickup and transport of Zeus and his girlfriend who were arriving in Charlotte on Thursday from British Vancouver; Nitta decided that she wanted to stay in Fayetteville until the babies were born since her daughters were successfully handling her cooking/catering business in Charming with help from Chucky, so her Fayetteville apartment was secured for an additional 6 weeks.

Jax received his package of books from Mr. Wiley, consisting of 2 dad books – one titled Sidekick, a Pregnancy Guide for Dudes, the other, Life After Birth – Thriving in the Fourth Trimester, several books of erotic art, and 20 specially selected Mercer Mayer Little Critter children's tomes; Jax wrote and gave to Tara another letter to add to her collection; they packed Tara's "go" bag and set it by the front door of her apartment; Jax and Tara received great news at the second OB-GYN appointment that Jax attended – first, that Tara and the babies were fine and bed rest was modified, and second, that intercourse restrictions were lifted, the only requirements that Tara be comfortable and pain free; they completed Tara's admission paperwork at the hospital and received instructions on where to take her once she came in for delivery.

Right after the Wednesday doctor and hospital visits, she and Jax picked up lunch from one of Tara's favorite spots and they went to the studio to eat. Lunch completed, Tara kicked off her shoes and lay down on the studio bed. Tara remarked that the space reminded her of Jax's room at the club house.

"Yeah, but without the Harley posters, liquor bottles, and drunken MCs," Jax replied.

…_Crow eaters and porn sluts, Tara thought. _

She had stretched out on the day bed on her side and Jax climbed onto it behind Tara and spooned her. He slid his leg between hers and kissed her ear while stroking her chest, belly, and hip.

"Mmmm, mummy," he murmured sexily, the scent Tara's body butter exciting him.

Tara found herself tingling in strange places from Jax's touch. She pooched out her rear and rubbed it against his crotch, feeling him hardening deliciously so Tara continued her teasing movements. Jax then slid his hand under her sweater and gently cupped her breasts.

"Tender?" he asked.

"A little, but please don't stop touching me," she whispered.

Jax slowly slid his other hand in her leggings and Tara rolled to her back, opened her legs and bent her legs at the knees, giving Jax greater access. He slipped his hand under her panties and between her legs and ever so gently rubbed her clit.

"You're so wet," he rasped. "I have missed you, baby, missed this, missed how it is with us. Did you?"

"Yes," Tara strangled out, circling her hips against Jax's hand. "I think about how completely you fill me to where I am incapable of doing anything except feeling you. In these moments you take me places I never knew existed before you." Tara hissed. "Feels so good, you always know how to make me feel good. Rub me a little harder, faster."

Tara hissed again. "Yes, like that. Keep doing that, yes like that."

"Damn, your pussy is so wet. I want to be inside you so bad right now, show you how much I love and need you. But I don't want our first real time to be on this day bed, there's so much I want to do to you," he whispered. "But having you come apart for me like this will do for now.

Moments later Tara's back arched, her eyelashes fluttered, and she closed her legs, squeezing hard against Jax's hand, her hips snapping. Jax pulled up Tara's sweater and flicked her nipple with his wet tongue several times. When Jax released her, Tara stretched against him like a kitten contented in the sunlight, her arms crossed at her chest.

She turned her face toward Jax and smiled. She cupped his cheek and gave him a deep, passionate kiss, her tongue teasing his. "You always know how to make me feel so good," she repeated.

Now it was Jax's turn to smile. He fisted Tara's hair and gazed deeply into her eyes, willing her to see his love and care. She rested her hand atop his and gazed back at him. Tara opened her mouth to speak and Jax fully expected to hear an 'I love you', but instead, what he got was 'bathroom'. Jax leaped over her, took her hand and pulled her to a standing position.

"Need any help?" he asked sweetly.

"I'm good," she said. "Back in a minute."

Tara held and caressed her belly as she walked the short distance. Jax's smile was in full effect as he adored the sight of her walking while holding his babies. He was sitting on the daybed, his head bowed, when she returned.

"Let's get you upstairs," he said, and stood in preparation to leave the unit.

"You're going to take me back upstairs like this?" Tara asked, equally sweetly. At that, Jax looked up to see Tara standing by the bathroom naked except for her slouchy socks. He couldn't stop the wicked grin that crept onto his face.

"I thought we agreed to wait," Jax stuttered, as Tara walked over, knelt on the bed and went to work on unfastening his pants.

"For the full course, but this is just the appetizer," she explained.

Jax held up his bottom so that Tara could wriggle his pants and his boxers down, just enough to free his raging hard on. The impressive engorged member flopped onto Jax's belly and lay there heavily, twitching upward. She licked her palm and grasped Jax roughly, squeezing and releasing his cock while stroking it from base to tip, eliciting moans from deep in Jax's throat.

"Feels so…," but before he could finish his sentence, Tara gripped Jax's waist and took him deep into her hot, wet, mouth, mimicking the motion of her hand up and down his shaft. Jax closed his eyes tightly and began twisting his hips against her, now grunting, moaning and calling Tara's name again and again.

Tara adored sucking Jax's beautiful cock, moaning as if she were enjoying eating her favorite piece of candy. She pulled off of him at the tip, gently scraped its hood and tip with her teeth, and teased the opening with her tongue. She then swirled her tongue around his girth from the hood down to his balls and back up, sneaking peeks at Jax, reveling in his pleasure.

She then took him fully into her mouth again. She sucked him, hard, then harder than Jax knew was even possible, while she worked her jaws and lips over him, squeezing, pulling, gripping.

"I can't last…I can't…," Jax gasped. "Please…" he pleaded, but for what he didn't know.

At last, he released into Tara's throat, hard, just as she was working at the base of his shaft. Jax's entire body seized, so hard was his orgasm. He bumped his groin into Tara's mouth as he spurted, groaning deeply, waves and waves of pleasure washing over him. He took Tara's face into his hands as his body trembled in submission to her.

"I love you, Tara," he stated huskily, as Tara slowly slurped him.

"I love you, too," she replied, after she finally finished him.

Jax slid over on the bed and Tara laid down in front of him so that he could spoon her. He felt the peace that he could only find with her and in this moment, Jax knew that his decision to stay with her was the right one. He pulled her closer and held her tightly as she dropped off to sleep in his arms.

After holding Tara a while, Jax softly kissed her forehead, whispered that he loved her and stroked her stomach for a moment. He very gently released her and stood up, then covered her with a blanket brought in for that exact purpose. Jax pulled up his jeans and sat on the heavy wooden cocktail table facing Tara, staring at her, lost in his thoughts about her, the boys, the twins, their future. He then rose and walked over to his desk and began reviewing financial statements for several businesses, sent by Chucky, Bobby, and Elliott.

Then Jax heard the vibration of his phone, buried somewhere under the pile of documents. He checked his watch – it was 11:45 a.m. Church would not yet have started, but he located the phone and checked the caller ID. It was Opie.

"Good morning brother," Jax said. "Everything OK?"

"No, no. Everything is not OK, brother. Juice is with me. You need to hear this," said a somber Opie.

**A/N: Hello my lovelies! I'm ba-a-ack! I wrote myself into a corner and couldn't figure a way out of it. I hope this works for you. There are couple more chapters in editing.**

**Thank you so much to those of you who sent messages of encouragement and concern. I treasure each and every one of you. Please, please review and as always SOA forever! **


	61. Chapter 61

Sooner Rather Than Later – Part IA

"Go ahead, Juice," instructed Opie. "We're on speaker."

"Jax," said Juice. "How are you? How's Tara and the kids?"

"Never mind all that. What's happening?" Jax snapped impatiently.

Juice looked at Opie then answered. "It's Gemma, Jax. She intends to take out a contract on Tara's life once the babies are born."

"She what?!" exclaimed Jax, a little too loudly. "Jesus Christ! How the fuck is she going to pull that off?" He looked over at Tara, who still seemed to be resting comfortably.

"Barosky – says he has a guy," answered Juice.

Jax glanced over at Tara again and began to pace frantically.

"When is it supposed to happen and what's your role in all this?"

Juice took a deep breath. "I'm the person who located Tara. I gave them her Fayetteville home address and her work information, but they weren't talking about killing her when I gave it. Gemma said she just wanted to see the boys at first but then the discussion became more deadly. But I'm certain that the contract hasn't been put out yet. Gemma wants to wait until a month or so after the babies are born. I'm the one who also let her know that Tara's having twins and I'm to let her know when they're born. She wants it to look like an accident to avoid blow back so there needs to be enough time after the births that Tara is out alone away from the babies so there's no risk that they will be harmed."

Jax gritted his teeth, looked up at the ceiling and ran his fingers through his hair. "Why Juice? You've been meeting with Gemma, Barosky and Collette for months. Plotting."

"Yes, but I came forward once I realized that Gemma is serious. I have no love for Tara. She made you soft – turned you against the club, against what we're supposed to be. I figured that if she left you, we could get back to taking care of business, but that didn't happen. That's what I signed on for – handling business with my MC family. Not being led by a pussy who's mooning over pussy."

Jax's nostrils were flaring in pure anger. Had he been in the room with Juice, Jax would show him just how much of a pussy he was!

Juice continued. "Gemma is your mom, man. Whatever she did, she's still your mom and you shouldn't have turned your back on her like you did. She made it right. You could have forgiven her and you would have except for Tara."

"I get it," said Jax. "You're projecting some of your mommy and other family shit onto me. Why are you telling us this? What do you hope to gain?"

"I want things back the way they were with Clay. I don't like you with Tara, but I don't want Tara dead. It's not right. She's a woman and a mom. Gemma has some idea that if she could get you back with Collette, she could control your household like she did with Wendy and even with Tara, but only up to a point with Tara. Gemma wants to be a major influence in your children's lives. I just couldn't stomach the drunken, drugged out dreams anymore."

"What dreams?" Jax asked.

"Gemma going on about being SAMCRO queen again and raising her grandbabies in the family tradition with Abel taking the gavel one day, securing her legacy and position in SAMCRO history.

"Collette talking about getting to start up a new brothel with Barosky's backing, which was why she allowed the buy-out of her brothel and refused to move with it to Nevada. The crazy bitch went and got a crow. She's always running her mouth about becoming your old lady and what it's like to fuck you. Damn Jax, how many times did you fuck that crazy broad, anyway?"

"Juice," Jax growled in his most menacing voice.

"Anyway," Juice continued, "Barosky gets off on the stories and screws Collette, maybe Gemma, too, I don't know. I always left when it started to get freaky.

"Losing you and the children hurt Gemma, make no mistake, but Nero's dismissal of Gemma? Broke something in her, Jax. Nero accepted her and loved her for who she was up to that last when he gave her back her key in the chapel that morning. I know she tried calling him for weeks after, but he never answered. Then came the drinking and drugs among all three of them, and it's out of control right now…"

"What about Unser?"

"Unser just wanted to make sure that Gemma was OK. He's been back in his trailer on SAMCO's lot for weeks now. Gemma wanted him to use his law enforcement connections to track Tara down but he refused and was encouraging Gemma to turn over a new leaf in order to get back into your lives. He even told Gemma that she wasn't qualified to raise your kids to live in the reality of the present day. Gemma threw him out. So he's estranged from her, too, and wasn't privy to the plans. All that was hatched after Unser was out. Before that was just groaning and complaining about how things would have been different for all of them if not for Tara. Unser was the voice of reason.

"Jax – I just want…"

"I don't want to hear it, man. Whatever it is. Ope? You there?" asked Jax.

"I'm here, brother."

Jax thought for a moment. "Juice needs to present this at the table. I want a recommendation on how to handle him and we'll vote. Today, without fail, however long it takes. As for the rest of the unholy cabal, no one does anything. They will be handled by me. All SAMCRO projects go forward as planned. Clear?"

"Yes, Prez," Opie responded.

"I was going to join the meeting today but I need to gather my thoughts. Call me once the club has a course of action to suggest. Will you update Nero?"

"OK, Bro. Yes. Sorry to bother you with this shit, man, while you're there with your old lady. Is Tara OK?"

"You did the right thing, Ope. She's fine. Give my love to Donna and the kids. I love you, man."

"You too, bro."

Jax ended the call and looked over at a still sleeping Tara as he considered their situation. If Juice were to be believed, he had some time to figure out how best to keep Tara safe. As demented as Gemma was, she didn't want the children harmed and wanted the twins to have a decent start before she offed their mom. He had hoped that Gemma was settling down and crafting a new life for herself. She was crafting alright – crafting foul means to get back some of the power and glory she held as SAMCRO's queen and to off Tara. Jax didn't give two shits about Collette and Barosky but the thought that Gemma might have to meet Mr. Mayhem sickened him.

Jax recalled the conversation he'd had with Pope, about how Pope distanced himself from the day to violence that occurred in his organization and how he'd hated to have been drawn back in by the senseless death of his daughter. Now, here was Jax at the threshold of the same dilemma, forced there by his mother.

Jax decided that no way was he sharing any of this information with Tara, at least, not right now at this critical point in her pregnancy. Mistake or not, he would accept the consequences of this decision. That's what leaders and husbands do.

Tara continued to nap for the next 2 - 3 hours and Jax continued working. He finished reviewing the financial statements and completed his notes and questions on them and he was opening his forwarded mail. One piece of mail he received was a letter from the California National Guard Service stating that his application would be approved for service should he decide to formally apply. The letter went on to state that the committee that reviewed his record was impressed with the steps he had taken to rehabilitate himself and become a productive member of the community. They also noted that Jax's five references were impeccable and urged him to keep up the good work. Jax was thrilled that this part of his plan was completed and successful.

Military service was his ticket out of SAMCRO with his kutte, his tats, and his reputation intact – no upside down photo of himself on the SAMCRO wall. He could attend social events, visit the clubhouse and hang with MCs at any charter, at his discretion, but he would have to give up the gavel – and this he would do gladly. He actually looked forward to it once the key SAMCRO projects were all completed, by mid-year this year.

Timing-wise, Jax had originally intended to submit his formal Guard application once his credentials were evaluated and approved, but that was before he learned that he was having twins and before he learned that Tara was living in Fayetteville. If Tara was remaining in North Carolina, Jax did not want to commit himself to 2 years service in California. He had two years to apply before he reached the enlistment age limit so he decided to wait to discuss the matter with Tara.

Just as Jax was winding down his thoughts, Opie phoned, explaining that the club had spent several grueling hours debating Juice's fate. They had voted to spare Juice's life since he voluntarily came forward with critical information that potentially saved lives. However, his behavior called into question serious issues of trust. Though Juice had useful skills and had served the club well for many years, the fact was that they no longer trusted him.

As such, they recommended that Juice be transferred to a friendly MC outside of SOA. The outside club would be made fully aware of the circumstances of Juice's transfer and SOA would attempt to locate a place for him in any state other than California. They recommended that Juice keep his kutte and tats until a new home charter could be found for him. At that time Juice had to surrender his kutte and blacken his tats. SAMCRO had already bought Clear Passages and the club wanted to honor the agreement negotiated about Juice's share of future franchise payments.

However, they also thought it best that Juice continue in his role with the cabal, so as not to tip them off. He was to report to Opie on their activities and plans. Further, if he double-crossed the MC, retribution would be swift and permanent.

Jax was impressed. He thought back to a time not many years before when nothing short of Juice's death would have sufficed.

"We're unanimous in our recommendations, Prez. What say you?" asked Opie.

"Aye," said Jax. "I agree. And I have a line on a charter possibility for Juice. Give me a couple weeks and keep Juice out of Church effective immediately, but he can hang at the clubhouse like normal. Is that clear, brothers?"

"Aye," everyone responded.

"Bring Juice into the room, VP," said Jax and he waited.

After a few moments, "Juice is in, Prez," Opie announced.

Jax relayed the decision to Juice as the recommendations had been relayed to him. He was also advised to continue meeting with the cabal like normal and informed of the consequences of a double cross. Juice said he understood.

"Thank you for sparing my life, brothers. I am truly sorry about my behavior and my actions. At no time did I mean to harm any of you or SAMCRO. You have been my true home and family these past years. I am grateful that you are giving me a chance to find a home and family elsewhere. I'll willingly go wherever you send me and I'll be undercover with Gemma until I hear from you otherwise."

"We'll see you in the clubhouse in a few minutes," Opie said to Juice. Then Jax heard the chapel door close.

"Opie?"

"Juice just left, brother."

"How's everyone feeling?" Jax asked, addressing the Club.

"We're alright, but how are you?" Chibs asked.

"Fine," Jax responded. "Still concerned, but fine. Remember, the rest of the cabal belongs to me. Does anyone know what Unser's been up to?"

Piney spoke up that Unser had been in his Airstream, helping out around Teller Auto and the club house when needed.

"No contact with Gemma?"

"Not that we are aware of," said Chibs.

"Keep an eye on him," Jax instructed.

"Will do."

"Guys – I just want to say how proud I am of all of you. Mercy and wisdom are new dynamics for SAMCRO and you displayed them both well," said Jax, with pride.

"Thank you, brother. Brains before bullets, right? But what are you going to do about the continued threat, brother? Just because we are wise and merciful, doesn't mean we still don't know how to get bloody when the situation calls for it. A hit on Tara? We can neutralize that entire threat in no time…," said Tig.

Jax could hear murmurs of agreement. "I know you can, brothers, but I will handle things. If I need you to act, I'll let you know. You are to do nothing. NOTHING. Is that clear? Everyone has their projects and you are to continue with them at all costs. The continuation of SAMCRO is depending on you. OK?"

"Yea, brother."

Jax looked over and saw Tara stirring.

"Gotta go, guys. Tara's waking up from her nap. I'll be on with you Monday."

"Give Tara our love, Jacky-boy. We'll talk Monday."

Jax ended the conference call, walked over to Tara and kissed her forehead. "Good nap?" he asked.

Tara started struggling to get up and Jax took her hands and helped her to her feet.

"Bathroom," Tara and Jax both said in unison and Tara took off.

"Jinx!" called Jax to Tara's retreating back. He sat on the day bed and smiled. When Tara came out, she was grinning.

"You look like cat that ate the canary," Jax said.

"Really?" she asked, sitting next to him. Tara fisted Jax's hair roughly and pulled him to her for a kiss. She kissed him hard, nipping his lip. "The doc lifted the sex restrictions," she growled.

"Yes, he did. I was there," Jax said, as Tara slid her hand under his sweater and raked her fingertips across his nipple several times. She hissed and bit his earlobe, hard. "And I thought we agreed to wait until tonight, just a few hours ago. So what are you doing, baby?" he asked, his cock twitching each time Tara tortured his nipple.

"I must be doing it badly if you don't know," she replied, attempting to push Jax down onto the bed.

"Don't underestimate yourself. You're doing it quite well," he said, grabbing her hand and placing on his already engorged cock, "but it's 3:30 and I need to go get the boys."

"Can't you call Esme? We can ask Teresa, or Nitta, even," Tara hissed, still pulling Jax's hair but trailing her hand down over Jax's chest to his zipper.

"Naw, baby, it's too late for that. Besides, we agreed. I want to take my time with you. So, tonight, OK? After the boys are asleep."

His eyes hooded, Jax fisted Tara's hair and kissed her with passion so deep that she moaned in response.

"I would ask you to ride with me to get the boys, but you've done enough for today, even though it seems like the nap gave you your second wind. Can you check with Nitta and Teresa to see if everything is ready for Zeus and Opal's arrival tomorrow?" Jax removed Tara's hand from his crotch and kissed it.

"Oh, all right," Tara pouted. "But I already asked about the plans. There's lots of opportunity in there for you and Zeus to talk."

"Sounds good, babe. But I gotta get going because I don't want to be late. Abel hates if he's not out on time." Jax peppered Tara's face with kisses. "Let me take you upstairs."

"I can make it on my own," Tara said.

"I know you can, honey, but I'm walking you up anyway. OK?"

And he did.

**A/N: Please excuse any errors as I edited this one quickly. For the record, I took considerable license with the application process for the California National Guard. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next one's up soon. SOA Forever!**


	62. Chapter 62

Sooner Rather Than Later – Part II

So when was sooner rather than later?

It wasn't during Jax's 3rd set of seven days in Fayetteville, the first four days of which constituted Zeus's visit. Nor was it during the three days after Zeus and Opal left. Jax and Tara needed that time to get back to normal.

The visit from Zeus was an incredible experience for Jax, getting to meet a flesh and blood relative from a branch of his family that he hadn't known existed – a first cousin from his father's twin sister!

Jax could immediately see a family resemblance in Zeus, who had coloring like that of JT. But Zeus was taller, at least 6'4" to Jax's 6'1", broad shouldered, broad chested and fit, clearly into a serious workout regimen of some sort. Aegeus Charon Andreadis or "Zeus" as he was called, had Jax's dad's shoulder length brown hair that was kissed by the sun, dark hazel eyes, thick lashes, a wicked, ready smile, full lips, and a quick wit. He sported two slashes in his left eyebrow that came as a result of a motorcycle accident when he was 16, Jax learned. Zeus greeted Jax warmly with a big hug and a kiss and introduced him to Opal, Zeus's girlfriend, who also hugged and kissed him affectionately.

Jax observed that Opal was drop dead gorgeous, with smooth pecan colored skin, laughing dark brown eyes, a pert nose, dimples, and thick curly mop of reddish brown hair. She was tall – at least 5'10 or so, and slim, but Jax could clearly see that Opal had dangerous curves every place a woman was supposed to have them. According to Zeus she was smart, too, and was both a lawyer and a CPA and held an MBA to boot. She had taken over her father's successful accounting practice in Vancouver after he died.

Zeus brought with him a cache of family photos including quite a few of his mother who was Jax's father's twin sister, named Gemenah Teller Andreadis. She was an accomplished musician and held dual degrees in fine art and literature. Jax's resemblance to her was undeniable! Both he and Zeus marveled at how Jax's bloodline picked up coloring from Gemenah rather than JT. Jax had often wondered about the genetics of his appearance, thinking at one time as a teenager that he was adopted as the only explanation for his blonde hair and blue eyes.

Gemenah, like Jax, was natural blonde with dancing blue eyes, fair skinned with full pink lips and an aquiline nose. She, too, had faint dimples that appeared when she fully smiled. From the family photos, it seemed that she smiled often. Her blonde hair was thick, long and straight, her height seemed average, and her build slim but well developed. From the photos, she didn't seem to be one for a lot of fancy clothes and make-up and seemed happiest when she was outdoors, but Zeus also had photos of her and his dad at their various society engagements. Though Gemenah was beautiful in her own right, she was absolutely stunning when turned out for these special occasions. Jax could see why Zeus's father, Stavros, one of the heirs to the considerable Andreadis fortune, fell in love with and married her.

As well as being a great experience, the visit was also successful in that the two couples got along famously. Plans were made for Jax's family to visit Zeus and Opal in Vancouver. Thomas and Abel both fell in love with Uncle Zeus and Aunt Opal, so much so, that neither child wanted to participate in their Saturday activities in favor of spending more time with their newly found relatives. But they were gently coaxed with promises that they would see Zeus and Opal early on Sunday. Needless to say, the love fest feeling was mutual and Zeus and Opal pleaded with Jax and Tara to allow the boys to visit with them for a month during the summer.

The visit was successful in other ways as well.

Zeus agreed to put to a vote Juice's transfer to his MC, the Phalanx of Janus, although he didn't see a problem with Juice's acceptance even knowing the circumstances. Zeus said he would see to the immigration matters associated with the transfer, too.

Zeus had arranged a Skype call with his father, telling Stavros to prepare himself to see Jax. Like Zeus, Stavros was amazed at the resemblance between Jax and Gemenah, but he recovered from the surprise sufficiently to discuss business – the business of the unholy cabal and Stavros offered his assistance on the matter.

Jax was unclear as to how Stavros could help and why he would want to. "You and I are marginally related by marriage," Jax said. "Why would you want to help me?"

"Three reasons, Jackson. One, I would do anything for my beloved Gemenah. As her only nephew, she would want you, your children, and anyone you love safe from harm. Two, I am Greek. That idea of extended family or marginal familial relationships is not something we recognize – family is family. You are my family and your family, wife and children, are my family also. And three, I help you because I easily can.

"Barosky has been like a flea to us, given his illegal dealings at the Stockton port. My freighters have paid a premium to him for years to load and unload cargo there and I grow weary of his increasing demands and interference in my legitimate and legal commercial transactions. To think that the pittance he receives from his underhanded dealings allows him to think that he is big enough to cause you or anyone else harm in unfathomable. So Barosky will be handled as my gift to you. Same with the whore, though I understand from Zeus that she has…motives…other than greed for harming your family. I hope you have learned a lesson from your…interactions with her, one that will guide your future behavior."

Jax thought about the loss of Tara and his boys. "I have, sir. Believe me, I have. The cost has been too great and I still don't know how things will end up."

"Just stay on your current path, son, and I am certain that things will work out for the better," said Stavros. "That just leaves one person, Gemma Teller Morrow, your mother. What are your wishes regarding her?"

"I would have a lot of wishes for my mother, sir," said Jax. "The first is that she were a warm, traditional loving mother, protective of her children, but putting their happiness above her own. But that's not possible for Gemma. I'm convinced, sir, that Gemma has some form of mental illness that causes her to be capable of harming anyone without regret whom she perceives to be a threat to her selfish goals. I wish there was a facility or somewhere that she could go to or be kept at where she could be treated and healed – if that's even possible, or if not, live out the rest of her days comfortably where she can't hurt anyone."

"Consider it done," stated Stavros, simply.

"Excuse me?" said an incredulous Jax.

"Consider it done," repeated Stavros. "There's a facility here in Corfu – a palatial residential facility that I help support and protect for, shall we say, 'problem' people. I will have her brought here and committed. No one except us, will know where she is. It will look as if she has moved away. I will take care of everything. Gemma will not be harmed and will be treated well, better than she deserves, in my opinion. Her release, if one is ever recommended, will need to be cleared with you."

"I don't know what to say, Mr. Andreadis."

"There is no need for you to say anything, Jackson. And Mr. Andreadis is the absolute last thing to say to me," Stavros joked. "You may call me Nonos, which means Uncle, if you are comfortable doing so. If not Theios, which means godfather."

"I prefer, Nonos," said Jax. "Thank you, Nonos, on my behalf and that of my wife and children. But I still don't quite understand why you would help me now."

"I helped you before, son. Didn't you wonder how it was that Jacob Hale was imprisoned for collusion, conspiracy, and fraud just before the mayoral election? My investigators uncovered a certain audio tape of Hale and Salazar on which Hale revealed Tara's information, leading up to her kidnapping. On that same tape, Hale further confessed to the real estate scam as part of his plea deal to avoid attempted murder charges. This evidence found its way to the proper authorities anonymously."

Jax couldn't believe his ears. He remembered that situation as if it were yesterday for it paved the way for Elliott Oswald to become mayor, lead to several new SAMCRO businesses, as well as to the start up of at least 2 of Jax's new personal ventures. All this was not even to mention the "Charming First Initiative", recommended by Jax to Elliott, that attracted state and federal dollars to help Charming residents to start their own businesses and provided tax credits to businesses hiring Charming workers. But he never knew what transpired – only that Salazar's girlfriend's phone turned up.

"How can I ever thank you?" asked Jax.

"There is no need," said Stavros. "Now enough of business for now, though I need to discuss the family endowment that you are due. Or perhaps Aegeus can fill you in."

Jax looked at Zeus for clarification.

"A house, a cash payment, annual income from the family trust, travel time on one of the family jets and yachts, the yearly family reunion in Corfu, and timeshare at family properties in Mykanos, Corfu, or Santorini, as well as London, Rome, Paris and New York."

"It's a good thing I'm sitting down already," said Jax. "Otherwise, I believe I'd fall completely out! I feel like I'm dreaming!"

"You're definitely awake, Cuz. Trust me," Zeus said, patting Jax on his back. Jax returned his attention to Nonos.

"Is Tara there with you? The boys?" Stavros asked.

"The boys are out at play, but I can get Tara, if you'll give me a few minutes," said Jax.

"I will gladly wait to meet your beautiful wife. She's a doctor, yes?" Stavros inquired.

"A consulting neonatal surgeon," said Jax, proudly.

"Wonderful – you chose well, Jackson. A wise man always chooses a smart and accomplished woman then makes room for her to flourish. That is how he himself grows and his family progresses. Do you hear me, Aegeus?"

"Yes, father," Zeus replied.

Then Jax sprinted from the studio to Tara's apartment. He thought about how Tara almost lost her career and went to jail because of him, and how he'd deliberately mentally hurt her to the point that a lesser woman wouldn't have been able to function. Just look at how Wendy responded to his bullshit and he'd done far less to her! But it wasn't too late for Tara and him!

If only he could have grown up with parents like Stavros and Gemenah rather than Clay and Gemma! Even Jax's dad had a better grasp of modern day realities than those two, but they decided to kill him instead of being guided by and adapting to his vision.

When Jax arrived at the apartment, Tara and Opal were chatting amicably.

"Pardon me, ladies, but Nonos wants to speak with Tara," Jax interrupted.

"Nonos?" Tara questioned, as Jax helped her stand.

"Tell him I say hello," said Opal.

"Will do. Means uncle," Jax responded, as he helped Tara from the apartment down the hall to the elevator then on to the studio. When Jax and Tara entered, they heard Zeus talking with Stavros in Greek.

Tara walked over to the desk and sat in the chair vacated and held for her by Zeus.

"Tara, I am Zeus's father and Jax's Uncle. I think that makes me your Uncle as well. It is wonderful to meet you and I hope to have the opportunity to do so in person, soon," he said charmingly.

"It is wonderful to meet you as well," Tara replied. "I will look forward to seeing you in person, too, though I am unable to travel at the moment," she said, holding and rubbing her protruding belly.

Stavros smiled. "You are absolutely radiant," he said. "Reminds of the time when my beloved carried Aegeus. She glowed then, as you are doing now," Stavros said wistfully. "Is there anything that you need for the unborn child?"

"You mean the children?" asked Tara.

"You're having more than one?" Stavros inquired, surprised.

"Twins," Zeus said. "Sorry, father, I forgot to tell you. Jax and Tara were surprised by the news as well."

"Twins!" repeated Stavros. "What a great blessing! Again, is there anything you need?"

"No, but thank you," Tara said. "We finished the nursery just this week so we are set."

"Good. That leaves me free to decide upon appropriate gifts. I don't want to tire you out but perhaps we can talk more at another time of your choosing. I am anxious to hear more about your work and to also speak with the boys," Stavros said.

"I would like that very much…"

"Nonos, uncle, or theios, godfather. You may call me either, or, just Stavros if you prefer," the last spoken softly and with sadness.

"Nonos," Tara said, and Stavros visibly perked up. "I would like that very much and will have the boys on standby. Thomas doesn't say much, but Abel is usually a chatterbox so be prepared."

Stavros threw back his head and laughed heartily. "As was Gemenah, my wife. I am forewarned," he said.

"I'm returning you to Jax and Zeus. Until we speak again," Tara smiled at Stavros, tears forming in her eyes. There was just something about the distinguished looking white-haired gentleman that touched her spirit…

"Do you want to wait here or go up?" Jax asked solicitously.

"Go up," she said. Jax nodded and looked over at Zeus who nodded at him. Jax then left with Tara while Zeus and his father wrapped up the call. Zeus was anxious to end it, too, as Stavros was starting to grill Zeus about his marriage plans. Stavros made it very clear that he loved Opal and wanted more grandchildren.

Jax returned to the studio a few minutes later, expecting to say his goodbye, but Zeus informed him that his father had business to attend to and would speak with him later. Stavros said to tell Jax not to worry about the cabal, that they would be dealt with, swiftly.

"So what do you think, Cuz?" asked Zeus. "I'm sure this is a lot to take in."

"My head is reeling so fast, I don't know what I think," Jax responded honestly.

Zeus chuckled. "Well take some time to take it all in, and I can fill you in on the details. Your life is changed, Cuz, hopefully for the better, and your future and the future of your family is set."

So sooner rather than later didn't occur during the first 4 days of Zeus's visit, nor during the three days after he and Opal left, were spent getting back to normal.

**A/N: So, you have learned a bit more about the Andreadis family of which Jax is now a part. My how his fortunes have changed, but none of this means anything with his beloved. Do you think Stavros' word is good? SOA Forever!**


	63. Chapter 63

Sooner Rather Than Later – Part III

It wasn't during Jax's 4th set of 7 days in Fayetteville.

Teresa and Esme settled into their new schedules and new duties. Teresa was now working for the family full time. Jax was able to add her as an employee of the Teller Group, which meant that she had health coverage, vacation, sick pay and the other full time perks. Abel, already comfortable in his role as big brother, looked forward to having 2 new brothers/sisters to fall under his expert big brother wing as well. And whenever Abel was happy, Thomas was happy, too, of course.

Tara was enjoying this period as well. The time she spent with Thomas and Abel was quality time as Jax handled the heavy lifting parts of their care. It was the first time in a very long time that she was able to just sit back though completely relaxing was out of the question, however, as the twins seemed to have some type of ballgame going on in it there constantly.

But with Jax's help, she was able to take advantage of the twins' down times to rest and sometimes just to think. His voice had a somewhat soothing affect on them and he could be counted on to read them a story or to just rub her feet, back and belly when she needed soothing herself. Better still, Jax had become quite expert at changing her toenail polish.

Jax was relishing the simple pleasures of caring for his children but he especially relished taking care of his wife. He knew he missed most of Tara's pregnancy due to his incarceration, but he had no idea as to what that was. So to have things unfolding now before his very eyes!

He had watched as Tara grew bigger and even more beautiful these past weeks. He loved the fact that he had been present to see her navel become an outie and to see the appearance of the dark pregnancy line.

He loved that her breasts were larger, her nipples, also larger, and more sensitive. Tara allowed him to apply the nipple cream in preparation for breastfeeding, breastfeeding being something she was unable to do with Thomas. Tara's hair, already lustrous and thick, had become even more so, having grown to almost waist length, with wispy curls and bangs that covered her perfectly arched eyebrows.

Tara had also stopped shaving her pussy, so she had sprouted a glorious raven colored bush that drove Jax absolutely insane. Who knew? And since the intercourse restriction was removed the second week because her blood pressure normalized and there'd been no further spotting, Tara insisted that Jax spend his nights since then buried inside her. He had no complaint as he loved the feel of that silky hair against his hands, his face, or his groin. Most nights, all three.

Tara was seeing Dr. Carter weekly, and today's visit revealed that there had been no bodily changes indicating an imminent birth so an appointment was scheduled for the following week. As had become the couple's habit, they picked up lunch, headed to the studio, and ate. Tara lay down to rest, and Jax was working at his desk, reading over emails.

He noticed a starred email from…Gemma Teller Morrow! The subject line stated "DON''T DELETE. PLEASE READ"

It continued:

Dearest Jackson,

I am so sorry for all the hurt and pain I've caused. As such, I Have decided to leave

Charming indefinitely. Not that you would, but please do not try to contact me. I have left

instructions with Roger Mills for the disposition of the bulk of my remaining assets (my

dad's house in Oregon, 2 cars, Clay's bikes, and a paid up $500,000 whole life insurance

policy with you as beneficiary, and $ 2 million in cash) so reach out to him as soon as

you can.

I am emailing Nero and Wayne, to let them know that I am well,

that I'm leaving Charming and that I love them both. Collette's coming

with me and I am also letting Barosky know that I am out. Please tell

Thomas and Abel that I love them dearly and also the twins, that I

want only the best for them and that they should be good and listen

to Mommy and Daddy.

I hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me – for

everything. I love you Jackson, I have from the moment I learned that

I was carrying you. Take good care of your family and guard them with

your life. They are all that is important in it.

Tell Tara to be a fierce mother and to take care of my boys (you

Included). She should continue to take care of the club, too, as she

had in the past. She and I have had our differences but I admire her

greatly and always have. I can admit now that I was jealous in that

Tara, always the sweet giver, benefitted the club in ways that I never

could.

She loves you, Jackson, and you should treat her with the love

and respect she deserves. Like the old saying goes, happy wife, happy

life. It's true. Tell her that I am sorry for all the pain I caused her.

Take care of yourself, Jackson. Try to remember at least some of the good

I tried to do. I will love you always.

Gemma

Jax printed out the letter and sat back in the chair. He decided that he would not call Roger right away but would wait until they spoke the following week. Part of him was deeply saddened, however, because Gemma was still his mom and a part of him still loved her. He looked over at Tara, taking comfort in the fact that his wife and babies were now safe.

Jax was also comforted that even though he had no idea how Nonos pulled this off, he kept his word. Jax wondered if he'd ever hear anything further about Collette and Barosky. Knowing how these things worked, Jax would never ask. But if he were involved like in the old days, woman or not, that crow would have had to come off Collette's body! The newly reformed Jax had to let that shit go and he hated it! The very idea!

He went back to work and eventually Tara woke up from her nap. She picked up a magazine but continued to lie there. But suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her left side.

_This is new, she thought and she sat up quickly._ Seeing the look on her face, Jax came over, sat near her and stroked her hair.

"Are you OK?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh yeah," she said. "I'm OK. Just a stitch in my side." Tara smiled and lay back down. About 30 minutes later, Tara felt another pain, this one slightly more intense and longer lasting. Jax checked the time. It was three pm. He picked up his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Tara asked.

"Esme," Jax replied. "I'm asking her to pick up the boys today. I am also texting Teresa and Nitta, Lawrence and Mark, for now. Everyone needs to be ready to implement the hospitalization schedule today."

"I don't think that is necessary," Tara groused. "After all, Dr. Carter just this morning said there are no changes and my water hasn't broken. Besides, I get these aches and pains all the time nowadays."

"Um-hmmm," said Jax, continuing his calls. "Do you want anything, Honey?" he asked.

Suddenly, Tara paled. "Bathroom!" she shouted.

Jax hurried to help her up. Tara quickly waddled to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. About 15 minutes later, a worried Jax heard the toilet flush then heard water running in the sink. Tara came out, holding and rubbing her belly. She grimaced in pain.

"I believe I'm going into labor now," Tara said. "Will you get me upstairs? And please call Dr. Carter." Tara felt another pain and checked her watch. It was 3:30. "We may need to leave soon."

Jax started to insist that they leave for the hospital immediately, but he knew how stubborn Tara could be. Jax's heart was racing but he carefully escorted Tara up to her unit, as he believed that obeying her was the best course of action.

On arrival, he shared the news with Teresa and Nitta, both of whom were excited and concerned. Then Jax helped Tara to the bedroom where she immediately laid down. Jax made her as comfortable as he could, then he phoned Dr. Carter's office. He told them that her contractions were 30 minutes apart and they told him to bring her in once her contractions were 15 minutes apart.

Jax relayed the news and then laid down next to Tara, rubbing her back, and bringing her ice chips. He could tell that the intensity of the pain was increasing, but the contractions remained at about 30 minutes for hours. Nitta tried to bring Jax a sandwich but he refused anything except an energy drink. Thomas and Abel visited with Tara briefly after their dinner, then went in for baths, playtime in their room, and an early bedtime.

A little before 7, the contractions started at 25 minutes apart. Jax stood up and went to Tara's closet. He removed a warm gown, pulled out a pair of granny panties, some socks and a pair of boots.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm taking you to the hospital now. It's been hours and things might begin to move quickly at any time."

Tara breathed through a small contraction. "OK but I want to take a shower first."

A clearly unhappy Jax escorted her to the shower, started the water, removed her clothes, and helped her in.

"Five minutes," he admonished.

Tara stepped into the shower. He stood outside the shower door waiting with a bath towel. Suddenly, Tara opened the shower door and she was bent slightly at the waist.

"My water broke," she said, anxiously.

Jax took Tara's bath sponge, washed her butt, legs, and feet and rinsed her. He turned off the water and at her insistence, lotioned her body – albeit in record time. He helped her dress, walked with her the living room, put on her coat and his, then grabbed Tara's go bag.

"Drive carefully," said Teresa, who'd stayed past the end of her shift.

"God bless you," said Nitta. "I'll say a prayer."

"Thank you both," said Jax and he and Tara headed to the SUV. Once inside, Jax phoned the doctor's office with the new developments and told them that he was headed to the hospital. He was advised that Dr. Carter would meet them there.

Jax and Tara quickly arrived at the hospital and drove to the emergency entrance, their hazard lights flashing. Jax jumped out, turned off the car and ran over to the passenger side, unbuckling Tara's seat belt and assisting her to climb out of the car. He slowly walked her inside and as soon as the admissions staff spied her, they immediately called for a wheelchair which was brought promptly. Jax gave them Tara's name and told them she was pre admitted so Tara was immediately taken up to labor and delivery while Jax went back outside to park the car. After he parked, Jax raced back inside.

"How is she? Where is she?" he asked, nervously.

"She's on 5, Labor and Delivery. C'mon," said one of the nurses. "I'll take you up."

A/N: How exciting! Please review. SOA forever!


	64. Chapter 64

Sooner Rather Than Later – Part IV

The two moved quickly towards the elevator then on to the delivery room that housed Tara. Stepping through the double doors, they walked to the end of the hallway and entered the room. Jax observed that scene before him felt chaotic and surreal. Doctors and nurses were surrounding Tara and buzzing about the room, checking monitors and preparing instruments as she lay on the bed with her legs spread but covered by a sheet. Classical music was playing in the background and sounds of monitors beeped and clicked every few seconds.

"Step in here."

The nurse, Daja, directed Jax to a small anteroom where he was instructed to thoroughly wash his hands and arms. When he finished, she dried him and dressed him in a long blue-green surgical gown over his clothes that she tied at the back. Then she tied a cap on his head, put paper slippers over his shoes, and put surgical gloves on his hands. "Gotta get you as sterile as possible," she said with a comforting smile. "Let's go in now."

Jax's eyes were glued to the sight of Tara lying there, before he finally stepped forward. His throat tightened as he spoke.

"Are you OK?" Jax smiled then pressed his lips to Tara's sweat slickened forehead before her beautiful face grimaced again in pain.

Tara saw him and she gave a relieved smile. "Dr. Carter just left. I'm 6 centimeters dilated."

Jax nodded, knowing that when she reached 10 centimeters, the actual birth process would begin. Tara winced again as she was gripped with another powerful contraction. Jax held her hand, stroked her hair and whispered to her, encouraging her to concentrate on her breathing, telling her that she was doing great.

Every half hour or so, a staff member would come in and check Tara's dilation. The examination must have been painful because each time a staff member appeared Tara became more and more agitated, refusing to allow them to touch her at one point. Jax had to work doubly hard to calm her down sufficiently so that they could check. She was at 8 centimeters.

"It won't be long now, sweetheart. Just hang in there. Take deep breaths, honey. You're doing fine."

Tara nodded her head and closed her eyes, biting her tongue to keep from cursing Jax to high heaven! Just then she experienced an especially intense and protracted contraction. Her back arched and she groaned deeply and was now sweating profusely. Her beautiful hair was plastered to her head and she twisted and turned it on the pillow. Tara's mouth opened in pain and tears fell freely down her cheeks. Just then, staff came in and Tara started to sob, looking at Jax, pleading with her eyes for him to keep them away from her. Again, he calmed her as best he could, but this time, she allowed their touch even as she cried pitifully.

"Ten centimeters. Get Dr. Carter," the nurse commanded. "Looks like your little bundles of joy are ready to meet their mommy and daddy," she said. Tara grimaced again and reached a hand toward Jax. He quickly grasped it before dropping a kiss to her knuckles.

"You're amazing, sweetheart. Thank you so much for going through this for me, again, and allowing me to be here this time. I love you so much," he said.

Tara continued breathing, recalling her Lamaze classes. "I-I love you, too, Jackson."

Standing next to Tara, Jax eyed her wistfully, silently praising her for her selflessness. She should hate him for all he put her through, but yet here she was going through this bittersweet period of pain and joy. For him.

By this time Dr. Carter had entered the room. Jax watched as Dr. Carter nodded to another nurse.

"Alright Tara, it's time to birth these babies. You are fully dilated. Are you ready to push?"

Tara clenched her teeth. "Ready as I'll ever be." She looked at Jax and he silently showed that he was ready, too, preparing his hand for the pain that was about to come. But he knew it would be worth it when all was said and done.

Everybody got into position including Jax who was told to take his position behind Tara at the top of the bed. He rested his hands on her shoulders, rubbing, whispering of his love for her and the babies. There was a mirror positioned such that Jax could see the goings on under the sheet. Now, quickly looking around the delivery room, the doctor finally gave Tara the okay.

"Push, Tara, push!" the doctor commanded.

"You can do it, honey, push!" echoed Jax. He supported her back and head as she leaned forward, pushing through the pain with all her might. After brief respites, Tara continued to push as hard as she could with Jax coaching her through her pain filled haze. At each small rest, Tara would fall back onto the hospital bed with more and more sweat pooling on her forehead.

"You're doing great sweetheart," Jax said, using the cloth he'd been given to wipe the sweat from Tara's face.

She looked up at him and gave him a weak smile.

The doctor instructed Tara to push again. "Push, Tara!"

"Come on honey, you can do it!" added Jax.

"Ughnnn…" she grunted loudly, leaning forward again, grabbing Jax's hand and squeezing it so hard his knuckles turned chalk white.

"I can see the head – the baby's crowning," the doctor announced ecstatically which encouraged Tara to keep going.

"Ok, stop pushing now. Just breathe…breathe. Jackson, come down here with me and see the birth of your children."

_My children…thought Jax…being born. _He kissed Tara's hand and moved quickly to the foot of the bed. The sight he witnessed was truly a miraculous thing, his first baby popping out, a small ball of flesh and goo, head first, into the capable hands of the doctor. And Jax was in love! After a nurse quickly suctioned the baby's nose, the room was filled with a loud high-pitched shriek.

"It's a boy!" Dr. Carter announced for all to hear, and the delivery room attending staff burst into quiet applause. A few people even clapped Jax on the shoulders and back, congratulating him on his good fortune.

"Jackson, come here and cut the umbilical," said Dr. Carter.

When Jax approached, a nurse held out a pair of Mayo scissors for him as the doctor held the cord, showing Jax where to cut. Jax cut where instructed while holding his breath and the nurse quickly wiped the baby off and wrapped him to keep him warm. The nurse remained at the doctor's side with the baby which was a good thing, as Jax was riveted in place, not knowing what to do at this point. He had never felt so useless and helpless in his life!

"Here comes baby number two! Everyone get ready. Push, Tara!" commanded Dr. Carter. As tired as she was, Tara leaned forward and pushed again with a loud grunt, using all her available strength.

"The baby is crowning, Tara, just breathe…deep breaths…. " Once again, a baby popped head first into Dr. Carter's arms.

"It's a girl," he shouted as the delivery room once again erupted into applause and compliments to the new mom and dad. "OK," said Dr. Carter, "let's move it people."

After the baby's nose was suctioned, Jax heard the sweetest mewling cry. Jax cut the cord and his baby was wrapped warmly.

Tara felt an overwhelming sense of peace fill her as she fell back onto the bed one final time.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Teller. You are the proud parents of a baby boy and a baby girl," the doctor repeated," and they both have quite a set of lungs, if I do say so myself."

Dr. Carter continued. "We'll leave the babies with you for a few minutes, then Mr. Teller will take them down the hall with us for the checkups."

With that, they laid the babies onto Tara's chest. Tara's eyes grew shiny with unshed tears that she had birthed twins and she looked over to Jax. His eyes were glued lovingly to the two lives that they created. She cooed to them, whispering that she loved them and that they had two older brothers who loved them as well and couldn't wait to meet them. Jax stroked their cheeks, reveling in the softness, speechless, for the first time in his life, but full of love for the little ones who were not yet 15 minutes old.

All too quickly, their initial time was up. Tara reached for Jax's hand and gave it a small squeeze to get him out of his haze. "Go on with the nurse, Dad, and get the twins checked out."

Getting his act together, Jax carefully picked up one baby and the nurse approached to put the other securely in his arms. She then whisked Jax and their little boy and girl off for full cleansing and physicals. He mouthed _be back soon – I love you_ as they left the room, making her smile.

While they were gone. Tara was tended to. She was cleaned up a bit and given some ice chips. She also received fresh bed linen, a hospital gown and extra heated blankets as the physical exertion left her weak and with a chill. The nurses also located a scrunchie for her hair. The lights in the room were dimmed slightly as well and the bed was cranked into a moderate upright position. From there, Tara waited impatiently for her husband and their son and daughter to come back.

About thirty minutes later (though it seemed like hours) Jax and Daja returned, with Daja chatting amicably. "Son, daughter, and Daddy did fine," Daja said, as Jax handed Tara their newborns, one of whom was sporting a bright blue blanket and cap and the other, a pale pink blanket and cap. As he did, Tara saw the front of Jax's gown. On it was written "It's fraternal twins, boy 6 pounds, 24 inches, girl 5-1/2 pounds 22 inches".

"Fraternal twins, congratulations," said a different nurse who had been in the room with Tara.

Tara asked the nurse if she would take pictures for them with Jax's phone and she was happy to oblige, taking pictures of Jax standing alone in his graffitied scrubs, Jax holding the babies, Tara seated in bed holding the babies, then all four of them together, with Jax sitting on the bed with a protective arm around his family. Daja even held the babies for a moment while another nurse took a picture of Jax and Tara together, with him hugging her and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

The photos taken, Jax whispered, "You did it, baby," his voice full of emotion.

"Well it does take two people" she pointed out amusingly.

"You know what I mean," he said, smiling. Then Jax remembered something. "I promised to text everyone! I have the group to send to already set up," he said, sending a short message and attaching a couple of the photos. He then quickly turned his attention back to Tara.

"I need to send one more message to ask Esme to give the boys the news and bring them over tomorrow to meet their new brother and sister. Since it's Friday, can they do a half day? Then they can come in the afternoon."

"Sounds like a plan," Tara said, and Jax quickly sent the text.

"So, sweetheart, we haven't discussed names."

Tara casually shrugged. "No, we haven't, but I do have two very special names picked out. Do you trust me?"

Jax nodded. "Go on. I know you have the perfect names for them."

She looked at him, her exhaustion beginning to show. "Are you sure?"

Jax nodded his head again. "I trust you completely. Let's hear them."

Her mood sobered before casting her eyes downward. "There were so many things that I planned for us back when we were in Charming, before…" but before she could continue, Jax gently cupped her cheek, forcing her eyes back to him.

"We're not going to talk about anything negative right now, okay? Only after you're better. Right now, just concentrate on yourself and our newborn children."

Tara's eyes brightened at his words. "Our newborn children. I love the sound of that and I love you for giving them to me Jax Teller." They shared a sweet kiss before hearing the sliding glass door to the room open and another nurse coming in with a clipboard.

"Hi new parents. We finished all the testing and your little cuties are all checked out and given a clean bill of health" she announced proudly, skimming through the charts before approaching the bed. "Mrs. Teller, you'll be taken to your hospital room, with the babies. Two bassinets, lots of diapers, and onesies will be brought in for you. You're breastfeeding, correct?" she asked.

"Yes," said Tara.

The nurse nodded. "The babies will want food about every two hours but you really should try to rest tonight as much as possible. The room is quite comfortable and has a rocking chair as well as TV, and an IPOD Dock. We'll bring in food for you within the hour. You too, Mr. Teller. You will be staying with your wife and twins?"

"Try to get me out," he said, a serious look on his face.

"Then we'll have the double bed brought into the room for you both. We'll be checking every few hours just to make sure the little ones are eating and gaining weight and your OB-GYN will be in first thing in the morning to see you, Mrs. Teller. The hospital pediatrician will take care of the babies until you're released."

"Someone will be back for all of you in about 30 minutes. Be good for your mommy and daddy, Little Ones," she admonished then left along with other hospital personnel.

Alone with Jax and her twins at last, with Jax sitting next to her, Tara looked down, her eyes glistening with tears as the little babies slept soundly in her arms. Their skins were pale but their cheeks were fat and rosy. The boy had a light dusting of golden hair, while their daughter had a short mop of soft curly dark brown hair. They both absolutely had Jax's nose, pink bow lips and Jax's adorable eyebrow furrow when they rested peacefully. Their small mouths suddenly upturned into puckered baby smiles, and their baby boy had a deep dimple in his left cheek, while their daughter had dimples in both cheeks. Both Jax and Tara sighed in joy at the beautiful vision.

Tara gently rocked the babies, but the motion seemed to have awakened them. They each cooed softly before fluttering their eyes open, eyes which were already lined with long lashes, his light, and hers dark. Tara gasped as she saw that looking back at her were Jax's captivating blue eyes in both her son and daughter! She had always adored Jax's eyes that at times were baby blue, but gleamed silver in bright sunlight, especially when he was happy. She looked at Jax, his beautiful blue eyes right now filled with tears, too, so overcome was he at the entire experience.

Jax was thinking about the births of Abel and Thomas. One born by C-section to a junkie mom, almost dying, unable to be held for months as he fought for his life; the other whose birth he missed entirely, having no clue as to what Tara went through to birth him, and never thinking to ask, so busy doing things that mattered far less. Well, he was correcting that now. Jax was snatched from his thoughts by Tara's words.

She led off the introductions with a kiss to the babies' foreheads. "Hello there…Gemenah Grace Knowles-Teller, and John Deo Knowles-Teller. We're your Mommy and Daddy, Tara Grace Knowles and Jackson Nathaniel Teller," she uttered lovingly as Baby John (or JD as he would come to be called) squeezed the finger she was using to trace his hand. Jax had touched the hand of Baby Gemenah (or GG as she would come to be called) and she squeezed his finger, causing Jax to break out in the biggest grin ever since the first time he held Abel. Jax pressed a kiss to Tara's damp hair as he circled Mom and babies in his strong arms, proud and humbled by the names and by the new additions to his family.

**A/N: The babies are here! The babies are here! JD and GG! What do you think? Who do you think was in Jax's group email?**

**SOA forever!**


	65. Chapter 65

Clearly Not Sooner

So it was Jax's fifth set of 7 days.

Tara had spent three days in the hospital and had been at home for four days with the twins, throwing everyone into a new normal. Donna and Mya would be arriving to help with Tara and the twins and two two-bedroom Airbnbs were secured. They each were going to stay for two weeks, then Opie and Jason along with their respective children would be coming in the weekend of the second week to see Jax and collect their wives. That second weekend Zeus and Opal were returning, too.

Tara was so grateful to have Donna and Mya coming to help, though with Nitta, Teresa, and Esme, the household ran like clockwork and Tara was able to ensure that Thomas and Abel were included and integrated into the new dynamic at every turn. Days were busiest and it would be great to have a couple of extra pairs of hands. Also, Lawrence and Mark frequently stopped by to visit and lend a hand.

Jax was beyond helpful, especially during the nights and evenings. He changed diapers, changed clothing, gave baths, fetched bottles of expressed breast milk, warmed them, and lovingly distracted a twin while Tara breastfed the other. She rarely did tandem feeding, preferring to devote all her attention and energy to one at a time. But she would use the nursing pillow to hold them both for a while after Jax burped them. Of course, he continued to handle wake up, dressing and transportation duties for Thomas and Abel during the school week.

He saw to Tara's care as well. She couldn't yet bathe, but he helped her into the shower as she was still quite sore, lotioned her, rubbed her shoulders, back and feet, washed and conditioned her hair, and was anxiously waiting to change her toenail color from the Russian Navy she was wearing to Candy Apple Red. He had bought additional gowns and robes and selected a fresh one for her to wear each day. He brought her meals to her and cleaned up afterward, not wanting to leave dishes and glasses in the sink until morning.

Nights, he brought her water, milk, juice, cookies, fruit, ice cream, popcorn, cold pizza, or whatever. Tara would sleep for the two hours between feedings and she would awaken to find Jax sitting in the rocker watching her and the babies sleep, with the monitor of Thomas and Abel's room nearby. If she didn't sleep, he would crawl into bed with her, read to her, watch a movie, or listen to his favorite country station and sing/hum his favorite songs to her until she dropped off (currently Rascal Flatts _Back to Life_, Matt Stell, _I Prayed for You_ and Keith Urban – _Only You Can Love Me This Way_).

Each morning, after waking the boys and taking them to school, if the twins weren't awake, Jax would report to his studio office and work, leaving his work before each feeding and returning to work after, until Esme brought the boys home. He would play with Thomas and Abel in their room for at least an hour, supervise their nightly visit with Tara and the twins before he read them their bedtime story and tucked them in.

Jax was in awe of Tara. The feeding schedule was a grueling every two hours initially, day and night. He couldn't figure out how she was coherent and marveled at how she must have extended herself to handle Abel, Thomas, and the move alone. He was so tired he could barely stand up straight!

About four days in, once they arrived home (the day before Mya and Donna were due to arrive), Tara looked at Jax as he sat on the couch, burping GG. It was morning and he had just taken the boys to school then worked for an hour. She had just finished feeding JD. Jax appeared to Tara to be haggard. His eyes were tired, the usual bright sparkle non existent, though he smiled and cooed at GG like the doting dad he was. He sported dark circles under his eyes as well and he looked as if he were losing weight. His beard was ragged and his hair needed a trim. There was a tightness in the set of his shoulders. Tara thought for a moment and couldn't recall when Jax last went to the gym. It had been at least one week – maybe longer.

Nitta was in the kitchen and Teresa was in another room or perhaps in Jax's studio, cleaning. Tara walked to the kitchen with JD her arms, Jax watching her, curious as to what was happening.

"Nitta, Jax is exhausted. I didn't notice it earlier, but I don't believe he has slept for the last few days.," she said.

"I don't believe so either," said Nitta. "Certainly not during the day. He goes downstairs to work but is back up here before the babies wake."

"I want to make a few changes to the schedule. I'd like someone other than Jax to wake up the boys, get them ready for school and take them. Someone to handle their playdates and lessons, too. Donna and Mya will be here tomorrow and I want to start keeping the bassinets out here during the day under their watchful eyes so that Jax can sleep in a bit whenever the babies do. He has to learn how to do that or he will burn himself out, or worse, get sick. Did he even eat this morning? He brought me a tray but didn't have anything himself."

Nitta nodded. "I'll be happy to wake up the boys. I'm up most mornings anyway, and I can also drive them to school. But as of right now I will be leaving in three weeks. I'll talk with Teresa and Esme, or maybe bring in morning staff to help you. In fact, morning staff might be a better longer-term solution. You will be returning to work, though mostly from home, but you'll still need uninterrupted blocks of time."

"I like that idea. They could get the boys ready, transport them, then come back and help with the babies until noon. Can you set that in motion? The new person should start the week before you leave. I should be OK to take over breakfasts, too, so you can sleep later," Tara said with a smile. She reached out and grasped Nitta's hand. "I hate to have you go, Nitta. You're family to me! You've done so much for us, the prayers, especially."

"I feel the same way," said Nitta. "You and Jax have changed my life for the better and I'll be eternally grateful. I have customers for my meals here, and Mark is working out packaging and shipping for me. Never would have happened except for you. But I need to get home to my daughters and my business there."

"And Chucky," said Tara with a conspiratorial grin. "Tell the truth..."

Nitta blushed and smiled and the two women hugged warmly.

"I'll go get the bassinets and bring them into the living room. Then give me the babies. I'll get Teresa to help me with bottles and all for the next feeding or two," said Nitta. "It's almost 10 a.m. You and Jax should both try to get a little rest."

"Thank you," said Tara. "That sounds wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without you." She hugged Nitta again.

"No problem," Nitta immediately replied.

Tara walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Jax. She smiled at him and gingerly placed JD into Jax's arms. Jax kissed both babies, overflowing with love. Though his face brightened, Tara could still see the fatigue in him. She touched his face and he looked up at her with such need in his eyes, she literally gasped at its intensity.

When Nitta brought in the bassinets, Tara stood, took a sleeping JD and GG, and placed each one in their bassinet. She returned to Jax and took his hand, tugging gently.

"Wha-" he said softly.

"Let me take care of you," she said, leading him toward the bedroom. "Nitta and Teresa will watch the twins and come get me when I'm needed to feed them."

Jax quietly followed her, too tired to object.

Once inside, Tara closed the door, walked Jax to the bed, and made him sit down. He watched her as she removed his shoes and socks, then unbuttoned his shirt, pushing that off his shoulders and pullng it down his arms completely. Then she removed his undershirt and went to work on his belt buckle. Loosening that, she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and Jax rose slightly so she could remove those as well. He hadn't realized exactly how tired he was until she made him sit still these few moments. Jax started to lie back in the bed.

"Not yet," Tara said. "Raise up."

He did, obediently, and Tara pulled off his boxers, leaving him completely naked.

"Lie back," she commanded.

Tara went over to the blinds and closed them completely, darkening the room. Jax watched as she walked around to the far side of the bed, dropped the nightgown and robe onto the floor, climbed into bed next to him. Tara instructed Jax to lie down, then she took her place at his shoulder.

"I want you to tell me why you aren't sleeping, Jax."

Jax paused, not expecting that question.

"I missed so much with Thomas, everythin' really. I – I – just don't want to miss anythin', babe." Jax kissed Tara's hand.

"I can guarantee you that the twins are not going to start walking and talking in the next few days," Tara chuckled. "I want you to get some rest, Jax. If you do, I might be convinced to bring out the box that I keep the purple bag in."

Jax first knitted his eyebrows, uncertain as to what Tara was talking about, but the moment he remembered, his eyebrows flew up in surprise.

"You might just have yourself a deal," he said, wearing a naughty smirk.

She gently rubbed his chest and trailed her hand up his neck to his cheek. Tara turned his face to hers and she kissed him, deeply, passionately, darting her tongue into his mouth.

"Thank you, Jackson," she whispered, her eyes hooded.

"For what?" Jax asked.

"For taking care of me and the children, watching over us, all this time. But you have to rest now. I don't want you to get sick or to burn yourself out."

Jax shook his head. "You're the one who's up—"

"I am, but I sleep, too. Moms learn to sleep in short stretches when the babies sleep, so when you're in the office, I'm back in bed up here. Not as satisfying as getting 6 or 8 hours at a time, but I'm still getting at least 6 hours per day. You're helping me to do that. So now I'm going to help you.

"Nitta will be doing mornings with the boys, getting them to school and helping me with the twins in the morning. That way you can sleep a bit later, before you go to the office. Also, after their early morning feeding, I want you back in the gym, even if you come back to bed after. One more thing, three meals per day. No more living on energy drinks. We're getting extra help the next few weeks with Donna and Mya and I want us to take advantage of it."

"So you don't need me to take care of you and help with the twins," he stated, sadly.

"That's where you're wrong Teller. I absolutely need you. There are still evenings and nights to start – there's no one available for that. As I said, we'll have extra hands for a few weeks during the day but after that we're onto a new schedule that will require a great deal from both of us. Also, the twins and I have doctor's appointments coming up and you'll have to take us. So don't worry. There is plenty for you to do." _While you're here, she thought._

Jax smiled, happy that he still had a role. "I love you," he said, tiredly. He took Tara's hand and pressed a kiss to her palm, then sighed deeply. "Babe, I have other things on my mind, too, things that I really need to talk to you about, things that concern us both. The children, too." Jax took another breath as if to begin.

Tara put her fingers to his lips. "Later," Tara said, "after you rest. Sleep husband," she said, kissing him again. She resumed rubbing small circles on his chest and abs and it wasn't long before the lovers were sound asleep.

**A/N: Tara is looking out for her man, poor baby! We know he loves the attention. Oh yes. I forgot to explain earlier that Deo is Stavros's middle name. Read on…**

**SOA Forever!**


	66. Chapter 66

Now!

Jax slept soundly through the twins' next two feedings. When he awakened at 2:30 p.m., Tara was resting next to him. He felt so much better, not having had 4 hours of sleep since the twins were born!

She was right, he needed to rest when the twins rested. God, he loved Tara. Once again, she showed how much she loved him by finding time to consider his needs. He read in his guy books about pregnancy and newborns that many men felt ignored and neglected during this period. Not him.

He didn't want to wake her, but he really, really needed to talk to her and he wondered if she had breastfed or if the babies had bottles and when. The question was answered as Tara opened her beautiful eyes, smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

"Feel better?" she asked sweetly.

"I do," Jax replied. "Much better. Thank you for saving me from myself yet again." He kissed Tara tenderly. "Did you just feed the twins?"

"Yes. They had bottles, but I'll breastfeed the next time. Be in about an hour and a half."

Jax snuggled closer. "Listen sweetheart, I have made a decision that I want to tell you about."

"Oh?" Tara said. "What is it?"

Jax took a deep breath.

"I'm not leaving here."

Tara started to comment but Jax held up his hand so he could continue.

"By here, I mean Fayetteville. No way can I have you here raising my four babies by yourself with me being on another coast entirely. I can't do it.

"You don't have to take me back. I can get a place in your building or elsewhere in the complex. If that's too close for you, I'll move across town, but I cannot be in California with you here."

Jax moved closer to Tara, stroked her hair, took her hand and kissed it again.

"Baby, I know that this wasn't romantic and came out of the blue. I might even have sounded a bit like Kohn, or your worst nightmare of an unwanted houseguest. But I love you. I love you from the bottom of my soul. I have hated our time apart – and have lived only for the next phone call or email before I came here.

"I don't want to be away from you or my children, not another day, hour, minute or second. You don't have to decide today, or tomorrow even. But I will be nearby – whatever you decide, whenever you decide it. I love you, Tara Grace. You have helped me to become a better man."

Jax began pressing kisses to Tara's face, her neck, then her lips. Tara was melting from the feel of him, his lips so soft, inviting pleasures that she had done without for the past week, pleasures that she adored. Tara tangled her hands in Jax's hair, returning his kiss with equal passion.

"Do you love me?" Jax looked deeply into Tara's eyes.

Tara pulled out of Jax's arms and sat up in the bed. "You know that I do Jax, but it's not that simple."

"I think it is," said Jax, "but why do you think it is not?"

"Because I don't want to stay here in Fayetteville permanently, Jax. I'm almost afraid to say it out loud because I don't know where to go. I have no home, but I have been working to set up my career such that I can work anywhere by doing only highly paid surgeries and consulting on difficult cases around the country. I can consult remotely." Tears threatened to fall.

"Listen to me love." He held her again. "Don't worry. Again, you don't have to decide today or even tomorrow where you want to go. Just know that wherever it is, I'm going to be nearby. Do you hear me, Tara? You're not alone anymore, baby. I'm staying near. And as for a home? We can make one, anywhere. You and me. Say you'll take me back, too."

Jax sighed again. "I got a letter from the California National Guard about 2 weeks ago saying they evaluated my credentials and would accept me if I chose to apply. I was going to apply right away as a prelude to getting out of SAMCRO per the by-laws. That was my plan before I learned about Fayetteville and the twins. Given my decision to stay close to you, I don't want to be committed to service for two years in California if you're here in NC, or somewhere else.

"Also, when we parted in Lodi, I gave myself until November of this year to leave SAMCRO if my credentials were insufficient to allow me to enlist. You didn't want to hear anything about my plans then.

"Things are going pretty well now. Jackson's and Chibs', the new SAMCRO Clubhouse, and the most recent Teller Automotive expansion and remodel will be done late June. I'll need to be back in Charming for those grand opening festivities, but not for more than a week or 10 days."

"I don't get what you're saying Jax."

"I'm staying wherever you are. If you were to stay in NC, for example, I'd enlist here right away and be out of SAMCRO right away. Or, my plan B was, if I couldn't enlist, I'd wrap up the clubhouse, and be out of SAMCRO by mid-year, is what I'm saying. But I'm still staying near you."

"You're not doing this for me are you, Jax?"

"No, I'm not," Jax replied firmly and without hesitation. "I'm doing this for me because I want to live, not die, Tara. I don't want to spend the rest of my life rotting in a jail cell either. I want to be a father to my children, be an example of positive change, and to do as much good as I can in whatever time I have left to atone for all the bad. I pray for forgiveness every single day, Tara, and I pray that when my kids learn about my past, they won't be able to reconcile it with the man I am today – the man they know, see daily, and hopefully love. And I want to be a devoted husband to you."

He and Tara stared at each other for the longest time before Jax spoke again. "There's more. Let me show you something."

Jax climbed out of bed, located his pants, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper, then climbed back in next to Tara, laying down on his side, next to her.

"I got this email the morning the twins were born. Read."

He unfolded the paper and handed it to Tara.

She looked at Jax as she took the document from him. When she saw it was from Gemma and the subject line, she stopped reading.

"Go on," said Jax, coaxing Tara to read on.

Tara finished reading Gemma's email with her eyebrows furrowed.

"What does this mean, Jax?"

"Mean's Gemma's alive, but totally neutralized. You see Juice confessed about two weeks ago that Gemma was going to have a contract put out on your life once the twins were born. He reported it to Opie because a plan to have you murdered didn't sit right with him. Opie phoned me right away.

"Bottom line, I told Nonos and he said he'd handle it."

"What happened?"

"With Collette and Barosky I don't know. They were involved as well. But Nonos is keeping Gemma at a facility in Corfu at which she's guarded to where she can't hurt you or anyone else again. Believe me, he knows how slippery and dangerous Gemma is and he's taking precautions."

Tara sat quietly – her head spinning. She thought back to Kohn, about how she'd cried on Jax's shoulder that she couldn't bear to deal with Kohn again if he had lived. Jax then handled Kohn. But he had never really handled Gemma – maybe a few temporary fixes if she were being honest. But nothing long lasting. Tara landed at and accepted that exile was the next best solution outside of death for Gemma. It was the best option for keeping her family safe.

"Babe – say something. What are you thinking?"

"That I'm glad that Gemma is handled at last, Jax, and that she can't hurt me or the children ever."

"Is that all you're thinking?" Jax asked, concerned.

"I'm a little angry that you didn't tell me about the National Guard or the letter from Gemma right away."

"I know, honey. I was just worried about your health so late in your pregnancy. But you didn't want to know about the Guard when I decided on it months ago. As for Gemma's letter, time got away from me. You went into labor the day I got it. I'm not trying to make excuses. I am sorry."

Tara looked deeply into Jax's eyes. "Is there anything else you haven't told me?"

"Let's see," said Jax. "One, not leaving you and the children, two, California National Guard possibility, and three, Gemma and Collette gone. Nope, that's about it. For now, anyway. Wait – there is one more thing..."

Jax went on. "I know you aren't sure about staying here permanently and I have a suggestion. More of a recommendation really. I think if you can commit to stay here in Fayetteville until the end of the year, you'll have more time to settle your job, nail down the household and consider your next move. The twins will hopefully be sleeping better so your head will be clearer."

"And?" Tara interjected.

Jax smiled.

"You and the babies need more space. How about we – you rent a house, a big one, lots of bedrooms and bathrooms, maybe a pool, certainly a big yard for Thomas and Abel to play in. We – you, can try to move in June then take a 6 month lease. We - you can extend it if you still haven't decided on where to go next. If you decide to stay in Fayetteville, we – you can look for something permanent."

Tara paused then grinned. "I like the sound of that – it's a great idea, Jax. I can easily commit to Fayetteville until the end of the year. Takes the pressure off and I feel easier already. The time will go quickly, I'm sure. Plus, we have guests from time to time and we are spending a fortune on Airbnbs for them! What do we do to get this started?"

"We – you should set some requirements. I will contact a realtor – see if they can identify a few places that meet the requirements set. We – you – should probably get pre-qualified if that's a thing, to speed up the rental process."

"Lawrence and Mark used a realtor when they bought their unit. Ask them about a realtor first," Tara suggested.

She stared at Jax and he dropped his head. She reached out her index finger and lifted his chin.

"I want you to stop this 'we' then 'you' thing you have going on, Jax."

Jax shook his head hard.

"I don't know how else to put it, babe. You haven't said anything about an 'us' going forward. In case you're not clear about what I want, let me be clearer, I am begging you to forgive me, to let me back in, to take me back. Please take me back, Tara Grace. Claim me as yours again. What do you want?"

"I'm just worried, Jax. Worried about what you're signing onto with Zeus and Nonos. I didn't know that Nonos was in that life. I just know that suddenly you're back with the secrets again."

Jax threw his head into the pillows as he rolled onto his back. "I'm not signing on to anything except visiting my uncle this summer. He and Zeus are my relatives, Zeus by blood. The only relatives I have left, after Gemma. And neither you nor I knows anything about the life they are in.

"I mean Nonos owns one of the largest ocean freight lines in the world. It was a business started by his grandfather, and expanded into night clubs, hotels, real estate, and casinos around the world. He has a cruise line also that sails the Mediterranean. He's worth billions, sweetheart. No one accumulates that kind of wealth without trampling the law somewhere along the line."

"What about Zeus? Is he outlaw?" Tara asked.

"I really don't know if he is or not. I know that he's my cousin and that he handles North and South American logistical operations for Andreadis Shipping. He told me that Gemenah insisted that her children go to college and he has two degrees.

"I was so jealous when Zeus told me about his life growing up. Zeus's brother founded the Phalanx of Janus MC and Zeus took over when his brother died. I don't know details," Jax insisted.

"Well it has taken you years to fight your way out of a bad situation, babe, and I don't want to go through any of that with you again. I want you out of the criminal life," Tara said.

"I am out of the criminal life. I haven't done anything, Tara, and I won't. Gemma and the others made their beds. None of what happens to them concerns me and it shouldn't concern you either for that matter. This is Nonos stepping in to keep a branch of his family safe. I can't speak for you, but I'm grateful. If not for Nonos, I would have had to handle things. I couldn't stand by and let Gemma have you killed. You know that," Jax said in frustration.

"And I wasn't keeping secrets from you. I was perfectly willing to share my plans with you months ago, but you didn't want to hear them for fear of them turning into empty promises. Also, had you not been pregnant, I would have told you right away about the National Guard letter and pressed you on your plans to stay here or move elsewhere.

"As for Gemma's letter, I just forgot about it until a couple days after we got the babies home. We're talking two weeks, here, babe. Tell me, if it weren't for my past behavior, you wouldn't be angry with me about not telling you these two things right away, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't," Tara reluctantly admitted.

Jax rolled over on his belly and touched Tara's cheek. "I beg you to forgive me for everything I did to hurt you. I beg you to let me back in, to take me back. Please take me back, Tara Grace. Claim me as yours again. I come to you as a new man. I love you."

"Jax, I freely admit that the main reason that I'm feeling better about being in Fayetteville is that you're staying with me and that you will move with me anyplace I decide. Sounds crazy, but I definitely want you living with us, if you want to. But I'm concerned about a few things, Jax. So may I have a minute to think about where our relationship goes next?"

Jax stroked Tara's cheek. "You can have a minute."

They both smiled, recalling a similar conversation back in Charming, many lifetimes ago, when they first gingerly resurrected their relationship after being apart for 10 years.

It wasn't lost on Jax that Tara did not agree to take him back, but he would happily take where they were, for now.

"I love you so much, Tara. I will never tire of telling you."

"I love you too Jackson."

After a passionate and loving kiss, the two began to doze off in each other's arms.

**A/N: More next week! SOA forever!**


	67. Chapter 67

The New Day

This was the first full day of the schedule changes. As Tara asked, Jax resumed his workout routine, heading over to the gym at 4:30 a.m. right after she fed the twins. He exercised vigorously then returned to the apartment by 6. Jax prepared a protein shake for himself, looked in on Thomas and Abel, then entered the bedroom he shared with her. He checked on the twins then laid down next to a sleeping Tara.

Forty-five minutes later, Tara and Jax both were awakened by the crying babies. Jax picked up JD and handed him to Tara, then he picked up GG and carried her quickly to the nursery for a quick diaper change before feeding. "Ladies first, sweetheart," he whispered as he gently changed her. Though the process was quick, she was gnawing her little fist by the time he returned her to Tara.

"Someone's extra hungry this morning," he said with a smile. Arriving in the bedroom, Jax kissed Tara's cheek lovingly.

"Hey you," he cooed as he picked up JD. "How's my little man this morning?"

At that, JD let out a wail.

"I know, I know, you want mommy back. I hear you! You're saying 'You're of no use to me old man! I demand that you hand me back to my mommy!' I know son, but ladies first today…

"You have to be a little bit patient. Mommy's feeding GG. But let's get you cleaned up and all set for breakfast."

As Jax was walking through the living room soothing a sniveling JD, Nitta came in to take care of Thomas and Abel.

"Good morning," she said. "And how are you this morning sweetness?" leaning in toward JD.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking," responded Jax, laughing.

"Oh, you," Nitta said, tickling JD's cheek. The baby turned his head toward the finger and finding that it was not his food source let out another hoot.

"Uh-oh," said Nitta. "JD wants his breakfast. Get it poppin', Dad," she said, smiling, then entered Abel's room.

"I will," Jax said.

Jax filled a basin with warm water, laid JD on the changing table and removed his sleep sack and diaper. Dipping in a soft washcloth, Jax dropped onto it a dollop of baby wash and he carefully washed JD, talking to him all the while. In no time, JD was spit shined, lotioned, and in a clean diaper and onesie. Jax then walked him around the apartment, over to the terrace window, bouncing JD against his chest all the while. Then Jax went back to the nursery, brought out two bassinet sheets and changed out JD's and GG's bassinet sheets with one hand. By this time Tara was finished feeding GG.

"Need a break, babe?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, sweetheart."

Jax and Tara then exchanged babies. Jax sat on the side of the bed and rested GG across his lap on her belly, her face turned to the side on a burping cloth. He gently rocked her and rubbed her back, until he heard a burp that sounded as if it came from a long-haul truck driver! Jax laughed. He lifted GG and took her to the nursery to wash her up and change her clothing, too, filling another basin with warm water. By the time he finished his daddy duties with his daughter and lifted her into his arms GG was already sound asleep. He walked back to the bedroom and put her into the bassinet where she immediately stretched out in peaceful repose.

Jax sat back against the headboard and watched Tara as she nursed his son. She was sitting in the rocking chair over by the window. The rays of the morning sun cast a warm glow onto Tara's face. Her hair fell in loose waves and JD had grabbed a tiny fistful of the silken ringlets giving them a tug every now and then. His other hand was pressed against his mother's breast, fingers splayed. Tara rocked slowly and hummed to JD as he suckled greedily, his little chest heaved deeply in contentment.

"I will never grow tired of the sight of you nursing my children," said Jax. "It is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen," whispered Jax.

Tara smiled sweetly at the praise. "I will never tire of having you watch me," she replied, humbled by the adoration she saw in Jax's eyes.

When JD finished nursing, Jax burped him as he had with GG. He then laid JD on the bed and he and Tara played with him until he too fell asleep at which time Jax rose and placed him into his bassinet, looking in on GG as well. Tara rose, took Jax's hand and led him back over to the bed.

Tara sighed deeply. It had been less than one day but Jax looked so much better. His eyes were brighter and his skin had back some of its rosy glow. He had slept quite a bit yesterday and had two good meals, working in the office for only a few hours. His hair was tousled from sleep and from his workout. When he saw her staring at him, Jax gave her a lopsided grin.

"Take off those clothes," Tara commanded in a sexy raspy whisper. Standing before Jax and never taking her eyes from his, she slid the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders allowing the gown to drop to the floor. She slid her thumbs into the sides of her underwear and slid them off as well, stepping out of them deftly. No sooner than Jax was naked Tara shoved him roughly onto the bed. Once Jax fully positioned his body onto the mattress, Tara crawled on top of him licking her way from his knees up the center of his body to his plump pink lips.

Jax's fat length was already fully engorged and so heavy that it beat against his belly. Tara slid her leg in between his, pressed and rubbed herself against him hard, her groin and thigh rubbing him deliciously.

"Mmmmmmmm…" they both sighed.

Tara scratched her nails across his nipple and kissed him with every bit of need and lust she was feeling. Jax returned her kiss, darting his tongue into her mouth, sucking at Tara's tongue while holding her against him by her hip. He was beginning to grind against her as well but stopped.

"We can't have sex yet, baby. Maybe we should slow this down and wait," he said, while trying to slide her to his side.

Tara grasped Jax tighter, licking at his neck as she spoke, her breath hot. "No penetration, nothing vigorous but anything else is allowed. Those are the only rules. I am after all a medical professional," Tara said continuing wet kisses to Jax's face and neck, "and I completely concur with my OB-GYN's instructions."

She inched over ever so carefully so that her clit was firmly mashed against Jax's thigh and her thigh was pressed hard against his member. Tara began to writhe sensuously against him, alternately gripping his torso with her hands then running her hands over its hard planes. She lingered at his chiseled abs, sucking her teeth. Jax was rutting against Tara as well, his deep yet gentle thrusts started at his butt and ended at his shoulder blades.

After several minutes, Jax squeezed one of Tara's ass cheeks with one hand, circled her waist with the other, then rolled Tara to her back, under him, the two still grinding each other. Jax could feel Tara's clit fattening under the pressure of his movement, his leg was wet with her juices. He picked up his pace, causing Tara to groan.

Jax looked deeply into Tara's eyes, then rested his forehead at the crook of her neck. "Are you OK?" he asked.

"More than," she replied. Tara put both hands into Jax's thick hair and tugged his face to hers. "Let me feel your full weight, Jackson. I've missed it - feeling your weight on me, taking what you want and giving me what I need."

Tara sucked her teeth again, causing Jax to groan this time. He laid fully on Tara, raising his head to look at her as he obeyed her command. Tara's eyelids fluttered and she pushed her chest against Jax as he grinded her harder and faster. Jax cupped a breast, laved Tara's nipple with his wet tongue, then took it into his mouth, sucking hard. They clung to each other, hips circling, bumping, sighing, panting, and grinding when suddenly, Jax stopped moving and pulled his mouth from Tara's tit. He had a shocked expression on his face and his eyebrows were knitted in wonder. Tara laughed, knowing that Jax had gotten a mouthful of something unexpected. He then swallowed and licked his lips.

"Sweet," he said, then he began rubbing against her again.

"Always the class act, Teller," Tara rasped then began her own motions again, panting anew at the feel of Jax's body on her. She circled his neck with her arms, nipping and licking him anywhere she could reach. She rubbed her hands over his back and shoulders, then dug her fingertips into his tight ass cheeks, loving the feel of his muscles rippling as they drove each other closer toward orgasm.

"Come for me baby, I want to see you come, the release in your eyes when you let go for me…c'mon honey," Jax coaxed.

Tara began bumping against Jax's leg and cock, harder and faster.

"Look at me, babe," Jax said.

She did. He twisted his hips and squeezed his thigh against her and Tara began to cry out. Jax silenced her with his kiss when Tara cried out again, arched her back again, and began to convulse under him. At the same time, Jax bucked, swallowed Tara's deep throated sighs, and emitted several of his own as he spurted his release. Jax's entire body stiffened and trembled, his toes curling from the strength of it and he grunted from somewhere deep in his balls. He and Tara continued to pant, sigh, and grind against each other until their release was complete at which time Jax rolled them over again so that he was on his back and Tara was resting at his side. Then the loving couple held each other, snuggling, and whispering of love to each other.

"Congratulations, Teller," Tara said. "You made it for a whole week," she said, chuckling.

"No, you made it a whole week," Jax said, touching then kissing Tara's nose. "After all, you started this."

"And we finished it together. Can I help it that you're so damn sexy?" she said, and Jax grinned. "Let's rest a bit then shower before the twins wake. We may have a little over an hour."

"I think we'd better strip this bed, too," said Jax. "We've trailed come, sweat and who knows what all else all over it. I won't be able to face Teresa."

Tara smacked Jax's hip and flicked his nipple. "She'd better get used to it, Teller. She'd better get used to it, and so should you."

As planned, Jax and Tara rose in a little under an hour. Jax stripped the bed and put the linens in the clothes hamper while Tara checked on the twins, who were still sleeping. The couple shared a quick shower and only fooled around in it a little bit as company was coming!

Tara wanted to completely dress, but Jax insisted she wear one of her gown and robe ensembles.

"I just want you to be completely comfortable, honey. There's a lot going on today and I don't want you to overdo it. OK? Please?" Jax kissed her cheek.

"OK, dear," Tara responded. "To be truthful, I don't really feel up to full dress, even though it was going to be casual. This morning took a lot out of me – literally."

"See?" said a concerned and guilt ridden Jax. "It was too much, too soon. I knew it!"

"Oh hush. No, it wasn't. I'm fine, Teller. I'll rest the remainder of the morning and this afternoon and some this evening, too. Come on – lotion me and get dressed. We've got company coming today!"

**A/N: Hi! I have missed you! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review if you have a moment and the inclination. SOA forever!**


	68. Chapter 68

Favorite Friends, Favorite Aunts

Mya and Donna arrived at almost 1 p.m. Tara was thrilled to see her dear friends and Mya and Donna seemed to hit it off immediately.

Jax was happy to see the women as well. Donna was of course not only a very old friend but also a valued and trusted employee of The Teller Group Inc., and he was quite fond of Mya from their time in Chicago. He was grateful, too, that they showed up for Tara.

After warm greetings and introductions, the ladies divested themselves of coats and hats. Nitta had prepared a wonderful lunch for them, but they refused to eat until they saw the babies. The bassinets were in the living room, so Donna picked up GG and Mya took JD. The ladies remained standing, rocking the sleeping babies, while Jax and Tara sat next to each other on the couch, holding hands, Tara's head on Jax's shoulder.

"Oh my God, Tara, they are absolutely beautiful. Look at those cheeks and lips." Mya peeked under the cap. "And the hair! He's going to be blond like Jax." At that comment, JD's deep dimple made an appearance. "He's got Jax's smile too."

"Wait 'til you see his eyes," added Tara. "He's so alert already."

"Well GG is beautiful, like her momma," said Donna. "I feel sorry for her, though. I don't know how she'll ever have a boyfriend and date with Jax as her dad, let alone marry."

Everyone laughed except Jax, who failed to see the humor. No boyfriends and no dating were foregone conclusions as far as he was concerned!

"Boys will have to get past Abel, too," added Tara. "He's protective of her already! I hope he lets you guys hold her. And you know that Thomas follows Abel's lead, so if Abel has a problem with someone…"

The girls laughed again and this time Jax joined them.

"We'll just have to be certain to get on Abel's good side," said Mya. "I brought him Garrett's. Maybe that will help."

"You'd better have some for me, too," Tara threatened.

"What's Garrett's?" asked Donna.

"Only popcorn heaven," said Tara. "Be prepared."

Then Tara stood. "Let me show you around and fill you in on the schedule for the next two weeks."

"I'll walk them around babe. You sit," said Jax. "You can go over the schedule when we're done. OK?"

"Thanks honey," she said, sitting down carefully.

Jax stood, leaned over and gave Tara a kiss that was much more than a peck. Mya and Donna observed this then grinned at each other. Mya wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

Jax straightened up. "Follow me for the grand tour, ladies. Now Tara's room and en suite bathroom are down that hallway behind the kitchen. There's a hall bath with shower off the living room," he said, opening the door. "You see the kitchen and dining area behind us." Then they headed off.

Tara felt happy and worry free. She felt a lightness in her spirit and she knew it was because of her talk with Jax. She had decided that him not telling her immediately about the national guard, the murder plot against her and the email from Gemma were not big deals in the overall scheme of things. He did tell her after all rather than for her to find out on her own months down the road, like with the cartel.

But she would use some of her free time now that Donna and Mya were there to check into Andreadis Holdings Ltd. She would also look into Stavros and Zeus. She really hoped that her search would come up empty because she desperately wanted to believe that they could be a loving family to Jax – the kind he hadn't had growing up. Tara genuinely liked Zeus and Opal, and there was something warm and welcoming about Nonos. But she didn't want Jax caught up. She didn't want him tasked to return favors in a way that might send him down a dark path. Jax had paid his dues! He owed no man and Tara wanted it kept that way.

She believed Jax when he said he hadn't done anything wrong and she believed him when he said that he wouldn't. Still, Tara knew how easy it was to get sucked in. After all, it had happened to her, too.

Tara could hear footsteps and giggles.

"…so that about sums everything up," Jax said. "My studio office is on 4, and I'm usually there at least 5 hours every day working. Once you have some lunch, I'll take your bags to your apartments. You're both on two. There is an indoor pool, a gym, and a clubhouse in the building across from us. Tara will send the access codes to your phones.

"So the fellas will be here in a week with the kids, right? Make sure they bring swimsuits for everyone. Now if you ladies will excuse me, I'm going to the office for a bit. You'll call me when you're ready to go to your apartments?" Jax reached out and hugged each lady.

Mya and Donna nodded.

"Yes," answered Tara. "It'll be in about an hour."

"OK, babe. Back soon. I love you," said Jax.

"I love you too."

The couple kissed again and Jax was off, stopping at the fridge first to remove a good sized sandwich that he'd prepared earlier to take with him. He winked at Tara as he passed through the living room.

"Well!" exclaimed Donna. "You're going to tell us all about this kissing and carrying on, but first, let's hear how we can help." She gently put GG in her bassinet and Mya put JD in his.

Tara blushed and grinned. "OK. But let's sit and eat while I explain the schedule and where we need help."

The three friends served themselves a delightful lunch of chicken salad, made with Greek yogurt and pecans, and roasted acorn squash soup with French bread. The meal was light, filling and delicious. Teresa came in having been in Nitta's unit helping with dinner prep and was introduced as a valuable member of the household.

By the time Jax returned, Donna and Mya were completely abreast of the family's inner workings as well as their roles over the next two weeks. Donna's and Mya's days would be busy with twin duty, but their evenings after 8 p.m. were free.

The schedule was not all the friends discussed. Tara filled them in completely on everything that had transpired between her and Jax up to an including the sex as well as his decision to stay in Fayetteville with her and their renting a house at least until the end of the year.

"So you two are officially back together? No divorce?" asked Mya, pleased at the developments.

"No, we're still not together, but he'll be living with the boys and me."

"Sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms," said Donna.

"No, with me," said Tara, blushing again.

Donna and Mya looked at each other in total disbelief.

"What?" asked Tara.

"Are you going to get her or should I?" said Donna.

"Go," said Mya, nodding in deference to Donna.

"Are you nuts?!" exclaimed Donna.

"No, I'm not nuts…," said Tara, defensively.

"Yes, you are," said Donna. "You're nuts!"

Mya was nodding in agreement.

"Why am I nuts?" asked Tara. "Didn't you say I should take my time?"

"I did and you took your time ultimately getting to the point where you are right now with him, starting from a place of not being able to look at him. Let me recount. You are now living with the man, sleeping in bed with him every night, hugging and kissing him, not only telling him you love him but also screwing him every chance you get according to you up until the twins were born, and you are sitting here telling me that you've not agreed to take him back, asking for a 'minute'. A 'minute' to do what exactly, reconsider your current position? You're considering going backward in your relationship with him? So Jax is what in the meanwhile, your friend with benefits? I don't get it. Why are you stalling?"

"I'm not stalling."

"You're stalling." Donna looked at Mya.

"She's stalling," agreed Mya.

The trio sat quietly for a few minutes.

Mya started. "Look, Tara. You know I've been through this with Jason. Remember, I told you that one of the hardest things was for me to admit to myself that I wanted my husband back, given all that went down. He was running around with that bitch at our place of employment for a year, for God's sake! I was afraid that taking him back would not only damage my self esteem even further but also make me look weak and stupid to others. But I had to work through that to act on my true heart's desire. What's your heart's desire, sweetheart?"

"I want Jax back," Tara said hesitantly, tears starting to fall.

"So what's the problem?"

"That I'll look weak and stupid and feel ashamed because people whom I considered to be friends knew and supported his conduct. It was all so public, Mya," said Tara.

"Yeah, well you now have another set of friends that will kick Jax's ass if ever even thinks about cheating on you again. And kick the asses of anyone who throws his bad conduct in your face. No one can tell you how to resolve this, love. You have to decide for yourself despite everyone else's opinion."

"Yeah," said Donna. "But the MC is really different now, too. Tig is with Venus, a transgender woman, and Chibs is getting back with Fiona since Carrie Ann will be coming to college in California. You know that Half-Sack is with Cherry, and Rat is dating Brooke. Oh! Oh! And guess what else? Piney is dating Mary! Takes her to the movies, out to eat and everything!"

"Oh, really? That's great news!" said Tara.

"Also the clubhouse will move from Teller Auto this summer and even now, you rarely see a croweater or porn star on the grounds. I think I told you that already. Now, Gemma and Collette left for parts unknown. Opie checked the house and their clothes are gone. Neighbors said they left one night in a limousine. Gemma had her bird cage and bird with her."

"Humph. I always hated that atmosphere between Teller-Morrow and the clubhouse," Tara stated.

"I did too," said Donna. "It's why I rarely went over there. But I'm at Teller Auto almost every day now and it is much more comfortable. Downright pleasant, actually. As an aside, Jax has reorganized the club's porn business and moved the brothel to Nevada. He's had no day to day dealings with either of those businesses after you left. I think I told you that already, too."

"The one thing you should recognize," said Mya, "is that in taking Jax back, you're doing so on your own terms, not his. You made him sign divorce papers, for God's sake, and run across the country to get to you after 6 months of him having no clue as to where you were living with his children. Sounds like your leaving his ass caused him to make some necessary changes around the 'office' too. You are neither weak, nor stupid, Tara. A weak stupid woman would not have done what you did. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't have been able to do pull it off."

"That's right," said Donna. "And as for the shame among your so called friends? Fuck 'em! They are the ones who should be ashamed for being complicit in the breakup of your family. If they are true friends, they will beg you for forgiveness."

Donna addressed Mya. "You don't know what all she did for them, Mya. She used her skills as a doctor to save their miserable hides more than once, putting her medical license at risk. She treated their families and friends free of charge on her time, despite working full time and having a family of her own to tend to. This was while Jax was giving her his ass to kiss, even."

"I'm not surprised," said Mya, "because that's the type person she is. Loyal to a fault, taking care of others before herself. So like you said before, fuck 'em. Hold your head up and get what you want!"

Mya was holding Tara's hand and Donna was rubbing Tara's back when Jax walked in. Tara was just sitting, tears abating, but Mya and Donna glared at him as if they could rip his heart out.

_Uh-oh Jax thought. I don't need a crystal ball to know what's happening in here. _ He hurriedly peeked into the bassinets to find that the twins were still asleep.

"Errr, I'll be in the bedroom. Just let me know when you're ready to go to your apartments." Jax scurried inside, closed the door and laid down.

"Whew!" he said, before flicking on the TV.

Back in the dining area, Tara wiped her eyes and sat up straight. She hugged Mya and Donna fondly. "I love you both so much. That's when you know you have a true friend, when they kick your ass when you need it. Thank you both, for coming to help me with the babies and for being my friends."

"So what are you going to do?" Donna asked.

"Well, the fellas are coming soon with the children. I'll be prepared to announce by then. I do have some things to check on in the meantime. Can you two handle the next feedings and everything? JD and GG will be awake within the next hour. I'd like to rest a bit."

"Sure dear," said Mya. "But before you go, what's a croweater?"

**A/N: These last few chapters were difficult to write. There's a lot that needs to go in there without going on forever. Once again, I've edited out twice as much as is posted here. Hope the quality hasn't suffered and that the content is relevant to the main storyline. Please review! SOA forever!**


	69. Chapter 69

Catching Up with Jax

Tara walked into her bedroom and saw Jax watching TV. She smiled at him. "They are ready."

"OK," he said.

As he passed Tara, she grabbed his hand and pulled him to her, kissing him deeply.

"I love you Jackson," she whispered, and the light that appeared in his eyes took her breath away.

"I love you, too, Tara Grace. Always have, always will..."

He opened the door and went to the living room.

"Ready, darlins'?" Jax asked.

"Yes, but let's do it one at a time in case the babies wake up," said Donna.

"Good idea," said Mya. "You go first."

Donna rose, went to the door and pointed out her bags, which Jax grabbed. The two friends left the apartment and headed to Donna's rental unit.

"Jax, the babies are absolutely beautiful. I love them already. Congratulations to you both. Were you in the delivery room?"

"I was," Jax responded, "and I was with Tara from the first labor pain. I have a newfound respect for what you all go through – the pain and all. Then the demands on your body afterward with the care and feeding! Not to mention if there are other children."

"Don't remind me," Donna said.

"What, no more Winstons?" he asked.

Donna made the sign of a cross with her fingers. "Hush – don't you curse me like that! If you lived closer, I'd just borrow the twins if I ever felt the urge for babies."

She could see Jax sadden a bit but before she could ask why they arrived at the unit. Donna walked around quickly and expressed her approval at the spacious 2 bedroom. Jax wheeled the suitcases to the master bedroom, Donna locked up and they were on their way back to Tara's.

Then Donna asked, "So what's going on with you, Jax?"

"Hangin' in there, Don. Tara and I are renting a house through December here in Fayetteville. I assume she told you."

"Yes, she did. That's a good move – it will give you both a chance to settle into the new family dynamic before any more changes, especially after being apart for so long. The additional time will be good for the boys, too. You'll be coming back to Charming from time to time?"

"Oh yes. I'll be there in July for the Council's big event, the grand re-opening of Teller Auto, the new clubhouse, Jackson's and Chibs', the army surplus store, and the rebranded cigar stores. How's the staffing for that coming by the way?"

"Quite well. We have some excellent management candidates. Michaels is a wizard at anything retail. He's already put together cross promotions between the clothing store, Jackson's and Chibs', and the cigar stores. But we can discuss this later. I want to talk about you and Tara. Let's hear it. You two back together?"

"She won't say so, but I believe in my heart that we are, Donna. I think that she is hesitant to admit it to herself because of how badly I've treated her in the past and she's still afraid to trust me completely, though she's come a long way. I get it. It's my fault. Completely. Wounds that deep don't heal quickly. So it's left for me to remain steady, treat her well, reveal my heart to her, and show her I'm a different man, a better man."

Donna raised her eyebrows in wonder.

_Was this Jax Teller being sensitive? Thoughtful? Patient? Was this Jax Teller talking about doing whatever it took on a regular and consistent basis to be with his family? Considering someone else's feelings? _

"Wow. You really are a different man, Jax. I mean that as a compliment."

"A much better one, I hope, Donna. Thank you. On another note, I can't wait until Opie gets here. You have no idea how much I miss that big lug even though we Skype a couple of times a week, sometimes more."

"Yeah. He misses you too, Jax. He'll be disappointed that you're not coming back to Charming right away, if at all."

"I am, too, believe me," Jax said, "but that's up to Tara. I'm the one who suggested we stay in Fayetteville on the short term because the idea of moving elsewhere upset her badly, even though she said she didn't want to stay here permanently. Maybe she'll be in a better place to consider everything by the end of the year, was my thought. And the new place will get us more room."

"What do you want, Jax?'

"First and foremost, Tara and my family. Then to return to Charming, or somewhere out west close to it. But again, that's up to Tara. I'm prepared to not return to live in Charming ever again if that's the price I have to pay for my bad behavior."

"You don't mean that."

Jax looked at Donna and she saw the resolve in his eyes.

"OK, so maybe you do." Donna smiled. "Let's hurry back so Mya can bring her things."

When they arrived back at Tara's, Jax opened the door and ushered Donna in first.

"Ready?" he asked Mya. Jax quickly walked to the bassinets and looked in on the babies.

"Yes, I am," said Mya. She rose from the couch and walked to the door. "Back in a moment," she said, then smiled at Donna and they took off.

"Those babies are just the sweetest things," Mya said. "Reminds me of mine when they were newborns."

"I know what you mean. Abel was barely 3 pounds when he was born. Stayed in the NICU for months. Look at him now. Protector of the innocent!"

"He's quite the lad as is Thomas," commented Mya. "My two can't wait to get here. Jason, too, for that matter."

"Oh yeah. It'll be great to have them all here. I have courtside seats for the guys at a Hornets game in Charlotte on Saturday, but don't tell Jason. It's a surprise."

"That should be fun for you guys."

"Also Abel is having a swim party in the clubhouse Saturday afternoon."

"The kids will love it!"

"Are you ladies planning anything special for yourselves? You should, you know."

Mya shook her head.

"I'll talk to Tara. She's feeling pretty well. Her one week appointment went well and she's due back for a regular 3 week check up next week."

"Ah yes. You're in the dreaded six week abstinence period…" stated Mya.

At that, Jax broke out in this telltale grin.

Mya furrowed her brows. "You two haven't…I mean, the babies are barely 2 weeks old!"

"We have. You'd be surprised at what all you can do without penetration."

"No, I wouldn't," chuckled Mya. "But you have to be careful, you know, Jax. Tara's not healed and her risk of infection is high."

"I know, and for the record, the sex wasn't my idea. I was perfectly prepared to wait and suffer, but Tara jumped me and reminded me that she is a medical professional. I just followed along, doing what I was told…"

"I see," said Mya. "Well Tara certainly looks happy and…satisfied." _And so do you she thought._

Jax's smirk was on full blast at the fact that his woman couldn't keep her hands off him. He remembered this morning and how good everything felt. How, still heeding the doctor's orders, they were off and running to glorious completion. Of course, all that practice during high school probably helped their creative flow.

By this time, they'd arrived at Mya's unit. They entered, Mya looked around, pleased with the unit and they started back upstairs.

"Tara says you refused to leave Fayetteville," Mya said.

"That is correct. I could not leave her here by herself with my 4 babies to take care of while I just sailed off back to Charming, Mya. It just wouldn't be right."

"Was it your expectation that she would take you back?"

"I'd hoped, but I didn't know – still don't for sure. But I'll tell you like I told Donna. I believe that we're back together, but she's afraid to admit it to herself because I hurt her so bad. I just have to be patient and let her see who and what I am now. Her heart is totally safe with me but she has to see that for herself – not about my words anymore. I burned that bridge of being taken at my word."

"Well, I think you're off to a great start, Jax. Just hang in there the way that you are now. But if you break my friend's heart again, I will personally pay someone to come and do you serious harm. I mean it."

"Yes ma'am," Jax said. "I believe you."

When they arrived back at Tara's, Donna was standing at JD's bassinet. He was wriggling about, stretching and mewling, gearing up for a full blast howl.

"Let me do the introductions." Jax scooped JD up and held and rocked him. "Hey little man. Let me introduce you to your Auntie Donna and Auntie Mya. They are going to help take care of you the next few weeks. You be a good boy for them." He then handed his newborn son to Donna, and seconds in, JD opened his eyes. Donna gasped.

"Oh, my goodness. Look at those eyes! They're your eyes, Jax. So beautiful! He's going to be a real heartbreaker," she said.

By this time, GG had awakened and Jax was repeating his introductions at her bassinet, after which he handed her to Mya, who marveled at GG's eyes, hair and dimples.

"I'll set bottles of milk on the countertop for you and put on the water to warm them. Then I'm going into the room with Tara. Come get me if you need anything or you can ask Teresa."

Jax retrieved two bottles of breast milk from the fridge and half filled a pan with water. He turned the burner to low, set the pan on the stove then went down the hall to Tara's bedroom.

Meanwhile, Mya and Donna took off diapers, wiped bottoms, diapered then redressed the twins, pronouncing their onesies acceptable. The twins did get fresh bibs, however. Then the ladies each grabbed a burping pad and headed to the living room to feed the hungry twins.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Jax had removed his shoes and socks and had crawled into bed behind Tara, spooning her.

"Are Mya and Donna settled?" Tara asked.

"Well their bags are in their apartments. They are feeding the twins now, so I thought I'd join you for a quick nap."

"Sounds good," Tara said, holding Jax's arms around her and snuggling closer. "Sounds very good."

**A/N: We're getting closer to the big visit! Reviews are warmly welcomed! SOA forever!**


	70. Chapter 70

An Uneventful Period

The next week went by quickly as the household and the friends handled the daily affairs associated with living, though several noteworthy events occurred. First and foremost Jax and Tara were at their friskiest as Mya and Donna took over care of the twins from 8 am to 8 pm. At the same time, feedings took less time as the twins ate more at each nursing event, having graduated to a full bottle each.

True to his word, Jax spent each morning in the gym, helping Tara to breastfeed at night, resting with her during the day, spending 3-5 hours in his studio/office. However, during this time period, there were specific events of note.

Lawrence took Jax to the barber for a shave and a haircut on Saturday morning and he and Mark joined

"Thanks for doing this, man. Though Tara likes my hair when its longer and she also likes me with facial hair, this shaggy caveman thing I have going on now is bit much," Jax chuckled. "Tell me. How'd you make out with Michaels?"

"Great," answered Lawrence. "Mark and I bought two outfits each. Michaels has great taste. We will definitely do our personal shopping with you. We can get you additional clients, too."

"I appreciate that," said Jax.

That Saturday evening, Jax and Tara hosted Donna, Mya, Lawrence and Mark on Saturday evening for dinner. Nitta outdid herself on an herb crusted rack of lamb, glazed carrots and asparagus, with lemon meringue pie for dessert. The meal was sinfully decadent and absolutely delicious.

"We will all need to join Jax at the gym in the morning!" stated Mya, patting her stomach.

"I'll be in the lobby at 4:30 a.m. sharp," retorted Jax, "for anyone who wants to go.

"I wouldn't wait, Jax, if I were you," said Donna, and the group shared a laugh then went into the living room for coffee, wine, and more lively conversation. Jax and Tara excused themselves twice during the evening to see to the twins and by midnight everyone left to go to their respective residences.

Jax attended church in Fayetteville for the first time on Sunday after getting a recommendation from Reverend Connors in Charming. Jax had told Tara that he would be going, but Donna and Mya were both surprised when he exited the bedroom in a black Prada suit, white shirt, tie, and his SO/NS cufflinks.

"Good lord," muttered Mya to Tara. "You going to allow him out alone looking like that?"

Tara lightly elbowed Mya in the ribs.

"You look really nice, sweetheart." _Really, really nice thought Tara and she struggled to keep from dragging Jax back to their bedroom to show him just how good she thought he looked._

"Thanks babe." Jax walked to the closet and grabbed his overcoat. "Uber's coming in a few. See you after service."

He rushed to Tara, kissed her, kissed his fingers and pressed them to the foreheads of the twins, then picked up Thomas, swung him around and kissed him, then did the same with Abel then left.

Jax arrived at the church a few minutes before the service began. He found the congregation to be warm and welcoming, and the sermon uplifting. The pastor, Reverend Smith, insisted that Jax stay for coffee in the church's fellowship hall and he was introduced to several church members some of whom were also new to the area and had small children. Turned out that Reverend Connors and Reverend Smith attended seminary together, hence the recommendation.

The twins had an appointment with their pediatrician on Monday. JD and GG both were gaining weight and the doctor gave them a clean bill of health, clearing them for outings, so that walks and car rides could be added to their activities for additional stimulation.

Right after this the twins also started sleeping each night from 10 pm to about 2 a.m. and occasionally until 4 a.m. Jax attributed this to their nightly strolls that occurred just before bath time. Though JD and GG were awake longer during the day, too, they were sweet babies with pleasant dispositions. They cried only when hungry or wet and never for long. As long as they were getting care, they were patient for bottle or breast.

Tara had her three week doctor's appointment on Tuesday and according to her doctor, she was healing nicely. Tara wanted to resume yoga and start weight training to get her body back. But when Jax protested that she was trying to do too much too soon she pooh-poohed him. Her Doctor agreed with Jax this time and insisted that she wait until her 6 week visit at least, especially since they were having regular non-invasive sex. (That is exercise enough for now, he'd said.) Tara agreed to wait, but made it clear she wasn't happy about it.

Meanwhile, Nitta, Teresa, Mya and Donna began making plans for the Thursday arrivals of their families. Food shopping and cooking were the most important items on their lists. It was to be quite a production preparing to feed Opie, Zeus, Jason, Chucky and Jax, Opal, Mya, Donna, Tara, and 6 children under 8 for 6 days, not including the twins. Of course, Lawrence and Mark were included, too. They decided that each household would prepare its own breakfast and lunch. Dinners would be buffet at Jax's and Tara's.

To that end, Nitta would prepare a large roast beef, ham, roast pork, baked chicken, and at Jax's request, baked sausages, chili, and a rich minestrone. There'd be simple sides, so that people could serve themselves, make sandwiches, or fix a platter. So Jax was pressed into helping Tara with the twins on Wednesday morning while the four ladies shopped. They started cooking Wednesday night using the kitchens in Tara's unit, Nitta's unit, and Donna's.

Jax and Tara had a short list of 3 rental properties to see, courtesy of the realtor recommended by Lawrence and Mark. The couple had done their research – they wanted a property that was not in a flood plain, could easily accommodate their large household including staff, had a pool, and a large yard. They visited the homes on Wednesday afternoon, taking the twins with them and by midnight, while sitting in bed, Jax and Tara had agreed on a new temporary home and hoped to move in April 1.

"So how do you feel about the new place?" Jax asked.

"It's beautiful," said Tara. "I am certain that the boys will love living there and there are two guest houses on the property. Perhaps Teresa might like to live in one. On another topic, I can't believe I'm looking for more household help, Jax."

"Sweetness, you are a career woman with an 8 bedroom, 9 bathroom house, containing his and her offices, with two 2-bedroom 2-bathroom guest houses on a five acre property, and four children under the age of 5. Don't apologize for getting help, babe."

"And a husband," Tara added.

"Excuse me?" said Jax.

"A career, an 8 bedroom, 9 bathroom house, containing his and her offices, with two 2-bedroom 2-bathroom guest houses on a five acre property, four children under the age of 5, and a husband," repeated Tara.

Jax paused, his heartbeat suddenly increasing. He wanted to say something – ask a question, anything. But he didn't know what to say or what to ask. He just kept staring at Tara, his eyebrows raised…

"I want you, Jackson," Tara said. "I want us back together, husband and wife, a family again. I'm still afraid, worried even, but I know what I want, and it's you. What do you wa-…"

But before she could ask, Jax swept Tara into his arms, hugging her, kissing her passionately, his beautiful blue eyes wide open.

"Full disclosure. I checked into Nonos and Zeus, Jackson. Andreadis Holdings Ltd. Is a closed corporation. Nonos is the head, his 2 brothers are executive VPs. Its holdings include sea freighters, a Mediterranean cruise line, several European casinos, hotels and nightclubs in New York, Canada, Europe, South America and Asia. They also have banks, babe, banks! How do you own banks? They also have two family foundations one of which is the Gemenah Teller Andreadis Charitable Trust, supporting international causes. They support other charities, the arts, and education as well. Zeus is a VP in the main company, and his MC is classified as a riding club. All of it is legal – I could find no incidence of illegal activities, no arrests or charges or even rumors of criminal acts."

_Of course you couldn't, thought Jax. Not at their level on the global food chain. Their riches make Oswald look like a corner store owner…_

"Please don't be angry with me., Jackson. I was only trying to protect you, you've worked so hard to extricate yourself from your past and embrace your future," Tara explained.

"I know sweetheart and I'm not angry. I love you, Tara, I love you so damn much."

He cried as he planted kisses on Tara's neck, cheeks, eyes, nose, forehead, then her mouth again. "You will not regret for one day taking me back. Thank you, baby, thank you! Oh my God! There's so much to do! Decisions to make! So much to plan!"

Jax jumped up from the bed and began pacing excitedly running his fingers through his hair.

"Well whatever there is to plan and do, it's not going to happen tonight, baby. I'm exhausted," said Tara. "Can we sleep a little before the twins wake?"

"Yes," said Jax, climbing back into the bed. "Try to get some rest."

But rest didn't happen for Jax right away. Instead, he was so excited, he got up and went into the living room and called Opie, Zeus, Chibs, Bobby, Reverend Connors, Roger, Nero, Harry and anyone else he could think of to tell them that Tara was taking him back, having told them previously that he was remaining in Fayetteville.

Harry told Jax that his and Tara's divorce decree had just come through. All that was required were his and Tara's signatures. Then a judge would sign and the divorce would be final. But even that bit of news didn't dampen Jax's joy.

"Under the happy circumstances, shall I retract the filings?" Harry asked.

"No, no," said Jax. "In fact, can you expedite a mailing to me?"

"I'll take care of it today and you'll have the documents in 24 hours."

Opie had news, too, and was intending to call Jax. The news was that Barosky and Brandon Hefner were both found shot to death at the Stockton docks! Preliminary police investigation determined that the two men shot each other in a business negotiation concerning their illegal dealings gone wrong. Both men's reputations as corrupt officials weighed heavily in the story and Opie sent Jax the link to the news article.

Otherwise, everyone with whom Jax spoke was genuinely happy for him and wished both him and Tara the very best.

While Jax made his calls, Tara was unable to rest, too. She lay in bed thinking about Thursday afternoon. She was excited about the arrival of the additional guests. Opie, Chucky and the children would arrive by 1 p.m., Jason and his boys would be in by 3 p.m. and Zeus and Opal would arrive at 8 p.m. Food was prepped, apartments were stocked, schedules set, and fun activities planned. Even Lawrence and Mark were in on many of the happenings except for the basketball game, volunteering instead to remain at the apartment in case of emergency. They also agreed to help chaperone Abel's Saturday swim party.

Tara had a surprise gift for Jax. She'd planned to give it to him on Friday morning. Opie had a surprise gift for Jax as well, several gifts in fact, but little did Opie and Tara know, those weren't going to be the only surprises of the morning…

**A/N: Please review. What more can I say? SOA forever! **


	71. Chapter 71

Yet Another Big Day Begins

Having finished his early morning workout, Jax returned to the apartment. The twins slept through their 4 a.m. feeding so Jax was expecting them to awaken at any time now. Peeking into the bassinets, he saw that they were still asleep. He was glad – Tara needed the rest. Even though she'd promised to take things easy today Jax knew that once everyone arrived, Tara would be up and about far more than she should be. Well, he'd keep an eye on her.

He went into the kitchen and fixed breakfast for himself and Tara, consisting of bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee. Jax put his meal on a plate and put Tara's breakfast into the oven on warm. He took his plate and coffee into the bedroom and sat down in the rocker to enjoy his meal.

Tara soon began to stretch – her breasts were full and painful, but the twins were still sleeping.

"Good morning, honey," Jax said. He stood, gave Tara a sweet kiss.

"Good morning, Baby. The twins still asleep, huh?"

"Yes," Jax said. "Doesn't look like they're waking soon, either."

"They didn't feed at four, so I need to express this breast milk."

Jax handed his plate to Tara and went into the kitchen to get the items needed for Tara's deed. When he returned, most of his breakfast was gone.

"Go ahead and finish it up, sweetie. There's more in the oven," Jax said.

He sat on the bed next to Tara and watched as she finished off the food.

"Are you excited about today?" he asked.

"Oh yes. I can hardly wait to introduce JD and GG to the rest of our closest friends. It will be so good to see everyone again. Abel and Thomas will be happy to have their 'cousins' around again and Abel is beside himself about not having to go to school on Friday and even more excited about his pool party on Saturday. He has 11 kids coming from his class."

Tara paused thoughtfully.

"Do you know that this is his first party, Jax? It's an important milestone."

"I know babe. I just hate that it was so long coming. Abel's very own party with kids his own age as opposed to a bunch of leather-clad MCs."

"Well, the milestone is here now, love, and it's a manifestation of peace and normalcy, though I remember how much you always hated the word 'normal'," Tara said.

"Not that I hated it," Jax responded. "I pronounced it overrated because I didn't really know what it was. But I do now and normal feels pretty damn good." Jax thought to himself about the level of psychological manipulation and immersion necessary to cause someone to not only see chaos as normal but to prefer it as a way of life. He thought of JT's dedication "...to my sons...may [Jackson] never know this life of chaos..." Well, he knew it and lived it, but Jax vowed that his children never would.

Jax was brought back into the moment as Tara handed him the empty plate. He took it into the kitchen, rinsed it, and put it into the dish washer then quickly returned to the bedroom where he found Tara taking care of her mommy business.

"Why don't you go ahead and jump in the shower, Jax?"

"Nah," Jax said. "I'll wait for you. Besides, I want to label the bottles and put them in the fridge since there will be more bottle feeding going on and the twins are eating more. You OK with that?"

"I am," said Tara, smiling.

"Listen, Tara. The timing on this might be bad, but I got a bit of news from Opie this morning when I talked to him."

"What?" Tara asked. "He's still coming with the kids isn't he?"

"Oh, yes, he is. Remember I told you about Gemma's plot against you? Well the guy who was helping her orchestrate it, Barosky, a retired corrupt cop, was found dead at Stockton ports, shot by a corrupt ports' commissioner whom Barosky shot and killed. Police are ruling it a double murder in a business deal gone wrong," explained Jax.

Tara stopped her efforts and looked at Jax. "Do you believe that? What do you think happened?"

Jax tented his hands, covered his mouth, looked at Tara and shook his head.

Tara recognized the look that he gave her as the same look he gave her when she was asking him questions about what happened with Kohn. It was Jax's 'don't ask - it's over' signal.

"Opie sent me the newspaper article but I haven't read it. That's the long answer. The short is no clue as to what happened."

"So I'm totally in the clear of the threat," Tara said, which was more of a question than a statement.

"So it would seem," said Jax. "Gemma's gone and now her main co-conspirator is dead."

Jax deliberately did not mention Collette's name and her role, which was to distract and comfort Jax over the planned loss of the life of his beloved wife. Instead, he hugged Tara and kissed her forehead.

"All done?" he asked.

"Yes."

Jax gathered up the bottles, took them into the kitchen, capped them, and labelled them at the bottom with the date and time. He put them into the freezer and moved four bottles from the freezer to the fridge for use today. He also removed the second dinner plate from the oven and poured a glass of milk. The plate was hot so he put everything on a tray. As he was heading back to the bedroom Mya and Nitta were coming in. There were good mornings all around.

"The babies up yet?" Mya asked.

"Nope, still asleep," said Jax. "I'm taking in a little breakfast for Tara. There's more fresh coffee in the kitchen. Anxious to see the family today?" Jax inquired.

"I can hardly wait," Mya responded. She quickly walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, checked dates on the bottled milk, removed two bottles and set them on the counter.

"I'll help Nitta with the boys until the twins are up. Donna should be here in a bit." The two women went off to get Thomas and Abel ready for school.

Jax entered the bedroom and found Tara making the bed.

"Sit down, Honey. Teresa can handle that."

"I feel so useless. Everyone is so involved in getting ready for the families," Tara complained.

"You're doing exactly what you're supposed to do – looking out for the twins, the boys, me, yourself, and this household. You were involved in planning for the visits and made all the living arrangements for our visitors - all that despite the fact that you're not healed and there's stress on you, physically and emotionally. So don't beat yourself up. It is time for you to take things easy. I respect and appreciate you, babe. I love you for everything that you do. Here, help me finish this breakfast."

The two sat on the side of the bed and ate the second meal together, with Jax leaving the lion's share for his wife. When the plate was empty, Tara drank the milk and Jax returned everything to the kitchen. He once again rinsed the plate and cutlery and put everything into the dishwasher. When he returned to the bedroom Tara was standing at the bassinets.

"Still out?"

"Yes," Tara said.

"Then let's shower and dress."

Jax brought the baby monitor into the shower as he intended to relax Tara using his own special methods - methods that he knew would work. Great minds thought alike as Tara had plans to relax him, too. They were in the shower longer than they'd planned but the level of the relaxation they both enjoyed as a result was epic!

By the time Jax and Tara left the shower, both twins were awake, wriggling around in their cribs, eyes wide open, getting set to let their parents know that they were ready for breakfast. Both Jax and Tara were wrapped in towels, Tara's around her bust and ending mid-thigh, Jax's low on his hips ending at his ankles. They each picked up a twin and padded past the kitchen through the living room and were walking to the nursery.

Tara smiled her 'good morning' to Nitta and Mya who were standing in the kitchen sipping coffee. They were about to get Thomas and Abel but hesitated to watch the small parade and Jax's retreating back in particular. Once Tara and Jax entered the nursery, the two looked at each other and grinned.

"I know, right?" said Mya, and they gave each other a high five while giggling like school girls.

Meanwhile, Jax and Tara filled the basins with water, washed up the twins, dressed them for the day, then proceeded back to the bedroom. Tara went ahead and nursed JD while Jax changed the babies' sheets then played with GG until Tara was finished with JD. Jax then burped GG and played with her with Tara fed JD. Tara burped JD when he was finished eating and both babies were placed on the big bed. JD and GG cooed to each other, touched and swiped at each, smiled at each other, eyes shining bright. Jax and Tara entered the fray and the four frolicked, enjoying each other immensely. There was peek-a-boo, raspberries galore, and grab my foot.

Jax had an idea. He went and fetched Thomas and Abel. He brought them into the bedroom and they climbed into the bed to play as well. Both babies seemed to respond to the sound of their brothers' voices, turning their little heads toward the sounds of their brothers' laughter.

"Look at me, JD and GG!" exclaimed Abel.

"No me!" said Thomas.

Hearing the playful banter, Mya grabbed her phone, went to the open doorway, tapped lightly, and began taking photos. But it wasn't long before the twins were ready to go back to sleep. Nitta led Thomas and Abel back to finish dressing while Jax and Tara put the twins in their bassinets. Then they wheeled the bassinets to the living room, to be under the watchful eye of Donna and Mya before returning to the bedroom.

"I need to rest a bit after that," said Tara.

"Then let's," said Jax. He untucked his towel, untucked Tara's towel, and the two climbed back into bed where he wrapped Tara in his arms. Jax learned from one of his guy books that many men neither understood nor accepted the level of fatigue and adjustment experienced by women during the weeks following childbirth. They made demands for themselves and took every slight – real or imagined – personally, their egos suffering as if they were in competition for the mother's time, attention, and affection. Jax was determined not to be 'that guy'.

Tara awakened at 10:30 to find Jax…missing. Hearing soft laughter coming from the kitchen, she grabbed a pair of underwear, slipped on a fresh gown and robe, brushed her hair and went into the living room where she found Mya and Donna feeding the twins and Jax and Nitta in the kitchen preparing an all-day luncheon/dinner for today's guests who were all arriving at various times starting at 1.

On the menu were corned beef sandwiches on toasted rye bread, with Swiss cheese and sauerkraut, home made tomato soup, and for the kids, grilled cheese, sweet potato fries, and the soup for lunch, and home made pizzas for their dinner. Jax had just finished putting on the huge pot of tomato soup under the watchful eye of Nitta and was working on thinly slicing 7 pounds of corned beef for the sandwiches.

"Hey, honey!" shouted Jax, as soon as he saw her. He rushed to her, gave her a quick kiss and ushered her to a seat at the kitchen island.

"Get you anything?" he asked sweetly.

"How about some wheat toast and decaf tea?"

"Coming right up," Jax said. He put on a pot of water for Tara's tea, placed two slices of wheat bread in the toaster, then retrieved an apple from the fridge. He washed the apple, cut it into slices, placed it on a saucer, and set it in front of Tara after snagging a slice for himself. Once the water boiled, he started the toaster, then brewed Tara's tea. Once the toast popped up, Jax lightly buttered it, cut it diagonally, put it on a saucer and set the toast and tea in front of her.

Tara had watched all this with great interest, wondering when Jax took an interest in cooking.

"Out of necessity," said Nitta, reading the question in Tara's mind. "I was preparing food for him, but sometimes he wanted something different, or he might be at home while I was cooking and he'd watch me, asking questions. Then I started putting him to work. He's a natural with knives."

"I suppose he is," said Tara, laughing. Jax just smirked.

"Besides," he said, "I like doing things with my hands and cooking relaxes me. It's easier to get into a kitchen to work than into the garage these days."

"I see," Tara said as she finished up her breakfast while Jax finished slicing the corned beef.

"Can I help with something?" asked Tara.

Nitta cut Jax's "no" response off.

"Sure, honey. I need all the rye bread laid out on these two trays. Cover the trays with this napkin. Once you're finished that, take 4 slices of the corned beef, put two slices of the Swiss on top, then end with 4 more slices of corned beef. Put that in a sealed up foil packet. When people fix their plates, they will butter their bread, put one packet of meat between 2 slices, butter side on the outside, then pop the sandwich into the toaster oven for 15 minutes. They can ladle some soup, get a drink, find a seat, and when the sandwich is ready, add sauerkraut and dressing if they desire. We'll fix grilled cheese for the kids once they get here, and I have homemade pizza for all of them for dinner."

"I have ice cream, cookies, Garrett's, and juice boxes for them, too," said Mya.

"So do I," said Donna.

Tara nodded and she and Jax started working on the bread and the sandwich packets. After a bit, Nitta came over and inspected their work.

"Looks good," she said, then set the cutlery, napkins, disposable plastic plates and bowls on the end of the counter top. Next to it she placed the bread trays first and left space for the corned beef. Nitta also put the sauerkraut, drinks, glasses and dressing on the island.

"Once the soup is done, I'll pour it into the large crockpot to keep warm, then head downstairs for a rest. I've been at it since late last night," she said, suppressing a small yawn.

"I can watch the soup, Nitta. It's only been about 30 minutes since I put it on, so it needs to cook for about 30 minutes more. I'll take care of it. You go get some rest – and thank you – for everything," said Jax.

"OK," Nitta said. "I'll see you all later. Call me if you need anything."

"We will," said Tara.

"Guess what, Babe?" Jax said, as soon as Nitta left.

"What?" said Tara as they worked on the packets. By this time, Mya and Donna were in the nursery. Tara and Jax heard the mobile playing in there.

"I have arranged a spa day for you, Opal, Mya and Donna for Monday morning. Mani-pedis, facials, and hour long full body massages. The guys and I can handle the twins and get Thomas and Abel to school. I bought gift certificates for the same for Teresa and Esme. They just have to make appointments. And guess what else? I was able to talk Nitta into going with you."

"Oh, Jax! What a wonderful surprise!" Tara threw her arms around Jax's neck and kissed his cheek. "I can't wait! And I'm so glad Nitta's coming with us, Jax. She has worked so hard since she's been here. I hope that you give her a generous bonus."

"I fully intend to. I've been keeping loose tabs on her hours and she's been earning straight pay and overtime, too. She has a morning person for us to meet with on Monday afternoon – a referral from Esme. If we like her, I was thinking we could start her right away and let Nitta leave with Donna, Opie and Chucky on Wednesday. She would have only been here for another 4 or 5 days, anyway. What do you think?" Jax asked.

"I think that's fine. We should be able to handle things, but we should ask her if she wants to go, since she's been cooking for Lawrence and Mark, too." Tara said.

"Good idea. Nitta talked to Teresa, too. She'll be transitioning to a role like Nitta had in Charming – household manager. She'll cook, handle light cleaning, shopping, errands, washing our clothes, changing sheets, but she'll hire a crew to come in and clean for us twice weekly. That should be enough once every one leaves," added Jax.

Tara nodded. "We're spending a lot on all this, Jax. Are you sure we can afford it?"

"Easily," said Jax. "But I think we need to add finances to a list of things we need to talk about in depth as we move forward, especially since we're together now."

He leaned in for a kiss then checked the time. Jax stood and checked the soup, letting Tara taste test.

"How is it? Does it need anything?" he asked.

"Mmm – it's delicious. Doesn't need a thing. You made this from scratch?" Tara asked.

"From Nitta's recipe, yes," he answered.

"I'm going to have to keep you," said Tara, pursing her lips for another kiss.

"Please do," said Jax, after a short kiss. "And here I thought you only wanted me for my body." He stirred his creation and put the lid back on. "I'll let it cook another 15 minutes then transfer it to that large crockpot."

Just then, Mya and Donna came in and put the twins in their bassinets.

"We're going to go downstairs and check on things before the fellas and the kids get here, maybe have a quick shower and change clothes, but we'll go one at a time," said Mya. Donna left the unit and Mya sat down on the couch and picked up her book.

"Soup will be ready in about 15 minutes," said Jax.

"I'd love some," said Mya. "I'm too excited to see Jason and the kids to eat anything more. Got any crackers?"

"Sure do," said Jax. He pulled a bag of oyster crackers from the pantry and a bowl from the cabinet.

Jax and Tara finished the foil packets, put the tray on the counter in the designated space, and cleaned up their work area. Tara went into the bedroom while Jax turned off the stove, poured the soup into the large crockpot and set it on warm. He ladled some into the bowl, put some of the crackers on a saucer, put both on a tray with a soup spoon and napkin, and walked over to Mya.

"Soups ready," Jax announced, handing Mya the tray.

"Thank you, Jackson. You go on in with Tara. I'll take it from here."

"Sure?" Jax asked.

"Absolutely. See you in a bit."

Jax smiled and went off to the bedroom where he found Tara lying down on her belly, her eyes closed. Jax reached for the body butter and massaged the cream into her arms, legs, back, and shoulders. He lingered at her lower back, butt, and upper thighs, loving the sound of Tara's soft moans as he gently rubbed her.

"What time is it?" she asked lazily.

"Almost noon," Jax said.

Tara sighed. "I need to nurse again," she said.

"Do you want the pump this time? It'll be quicker and then you can rest a bit more," Jax said.

"OK," said Tara.

Jax went into the kitchen, retrieved the device and 2 bottles and gave everything to Tara. When she was finished, she lay back down while Jax took the pump to the kitchen, took it apart and washed it thoroughly, then capped the bottles, labeled them and added them to the freezer stash. He counted the number of bottles in the fridge deciding not to add any bottles from the freezer.

When he returned to the bedroom, he saw that Tara was asleep. He covered her feet and went into the bathroom and washed up a bit. He put his shirt in the hamper, came back to the bedroom and put on a fresh v-neck sweater after lotioning himself and dabbing on some Prada cologne. Jax walked back to the living room and sent Mya on her way. He looked in on the twins, not expecting them to budge anytime soon. Then Jax stretched out on the couch to await the arrival of his very best guy friend in the universe.

**A/N: Such a busy morning. Tara was finding out that she still didn't have her strength back but was learning that she could depend on Jax completely. I labored over whether to include breastfeeding issues as part of the story, but if that's something you did with your children, you can probably relate. It is a natural and beautiful function, but it does present challenges from time to time.**

**On another note, anyone watching Mayans? I found season 2 disappointing and learned that Kurt Sutter was fired from Mayans. Fox and FX are now owned by Disney, which also has a 60% stake in Hulu, which currently carries SOA. The TV universe is becoming even more incestuous, people. But I digress.**

**Please review! Though the end of L & T is nigh, SOA forever!**


	72. Chapter 72

They-re All Heee-er!

Opie texted Jax at 12:55 p.m. that he'd be arriving at the apartment in 15 minutes. Jax was waiting downstairs when the car service pulled up. Jax rushed purposefully to the curb and grabbed Opie in a mutual tight bear hug and was lifted from the ground by the big man. The two men hugged and kissed like the friends/brothers they were as the driver unloaded the trunk with Opie's bags.

"It's so good to see you, brother," said Jax.

"You too, Prez. I've missed you man," Opie responded.

"Chucky – I mean Chuck!" Jax opened his arms and the two men exchanged a warm hug also. "Thanks for comin' man. You look good," and Chuck did. He seemed brighter somehow and his new prostheses were far less obvious than any of his previous solutions. And his business casual travel outfit solidified his appearance as a man who was successfully working his plan.

"So where are April and Sam?" asked Jax, looking at Opie's two youngsters. "They are a good 2-3 inches shorter than these two young uns here."

"It's us, Uncle Jax!" Sam shouted. We're bigger!"

Jax hugged the children warmly. "You certainly are. How are you guys doing?"

"Fine," said April. "Where are Thomas and Abel?"

"In school but they'll be here later this afternoon. C'mon. Let's go upstairs. Your Mom's waiting."

The little group traveled upstairs to Tara's apartment and as soon as the door opened, Donna shot over to it like a speeding bullet. She and Opie hugged and kissed and the kids clung to her for dear life. Truth be told, this was the longest that the little family had been separated from one another, and Jax was all the more appreciative because of it. Donna hugged Chuck as well, who was anxiously looking around for Nitta.

"She's at her apartment," Jax said. "I'll take you there in a minute."

"Where's Tara?" Opie asked.

"She's sleeping," said Jax. "There'll be hell to pay when she wakes up and sees that I didn't wake her for your arrival. She's been so excited, but she still tires easily…"

"I get it," said Opie. "The new mother thing, demands on the body and the healing."

Donna took Opie's hand and led him to the couch. "This is Tara's friend from Chicago, Dr. Mya Hanson. She's been here the past week helping with the twins, too. This is my husband, Opie."

Mya extended her hand. "So nice to meet you at last. And you must be April and Sam."

"Hello," they said politely.

"I have two boys around your age. They'll be here today, too, and they are anxious to meet you."

Jax took over. "This is Chuck Marstein, VP of Administration for the Teller Group."

"Pleasure," Mya said.

"And here are John Deo, or JD, and Gemenah Grace, or GG."

Opie and Chuck bent over to get a good close up look at the twins. Chuck looked like he was about to cry and Opie broke out into this big sappy grin.

"They are really something man. They gonna wake up soon? I want to hold 'em, let 'em see Uncle Opie up close and personal." He grinned at Jax once more. "Congratulations again man. I am so happy for you and Tara."

"Thanks man, but listen, are you guys hungry?" Jax asked. He pointed out the bathroom to Opie and Chuck.

"April and Sam come with me to freshen up in the boys' bathroom. We'll make you grilled cheese. Soup's already made," said Donna.

A few minutes later, the Winston crew with Chuck in tow was reassembled in the dining area. Mya had prepared grilled cheese for the kids, and a corned beef sandwiches for Opie, Chuck and Jax. All three were in the toaster oven.

"Have seats everyone. You too, Donna, Jax. Sit down," ordered Mya. She dished up tomato soup for everyone, then served the sandwiches.

The group was chatting together amicably but softly, when suddenly Tara rounded the corner.

"Aunt Tara! Aunt Tara!" yelled April and Sam. They ran from their seats to greet her.

"Hi guys," Tara said, kneeling to give them hugs and kisses. "Let me look at you. My how you've grown. So good to see you both. Thomas and Abel will be so happy that you're here."

Tara stood and walked over to Opie. When he stood, she gave him the warmest hug and kiss.

"Opie," is all she said, her eyes filling with tears.

They stood, holding each other, rocking, not talking for the longest time.

"Chucky –" Tara held out her hands, Chuck grabbed them and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you so much for coming," she said.

"Here, sit down please, everyone. Go finish your food while its hot, Sam and April." Then Tara spun on her heel.

"Why didn't you wake me, Jackson?" she said, her brows knitted in anger.

"You know why babe. You needed the rest." Jax walked over to Tara took her hand and kissed her. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I am," she said.

"Want a sandwich? How about some soup?" Jax asked.

"Soup will be fine, yes, thanks," she responded. Jax's obvious concern completely took the wind out of Tara's sails.

Jax sat Tara at the island, prepared a bowl of soup with crackers and put it in front of her.

Just then, GG could be heard rustling about in her bassinet. Tara made to get up but Mya intervened.

"Sit and eat," she said. "You'll be on duty soon enough."

Mya went over to the bassinet and lifted GG. She walked her over to Opie, who stood up again.

"This is Uncle Opie," Mya said, and she put GG in Opie's arms.

"Hey, Precious," said Opie, in this high pitched sing-song baby voice. "So good to finally meet you. Look at those eyes! You're a real beauty, too, so when the boys come around and your old man starts acting crazy, you can come and talk to me and I'll tell you all about his antics. Your mother's too," Opie said. The group laughed, but Jax and Tara were mortified. Opie tickled GG's cheek with his finger and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She was getting more restless and starting to chew her fist so Mya took her to clean her up a bit, and Jax warmed up a bottle.

"I thought Tara was breast feeding," Opie said.

"She is – that's breast milk in the bottle," said Donna.

"Oh," said Opie.

Mya brought GG out in a fresh onesie and bib, and brought with her a burping pad, also. Jax retrieved the bottle and tested it to make sure it wasn't too hot. It was perfect.

"Can I feed her?" asked Opie.

'Sure," said Jax. "Do it on the couch – you'll be more comfortable."

Opie sat and Mya put GG in his arms. He gave the bottle a little shake and put it to GG's lips, she sucked it in and began to feed. Donna teared up, seeing her husband, this big tough burly man, being so gentle and talking baby talk to a 1 month old!

"She's eating," said Opie, with a huge grin and Donna laughed as did Jax and Tara.

"Jax was the same way at first," Tara whispered to Donna. "He didn't sleep at all the first two days we were at home…said he didn't want to miss anything."

Donna took Sam and April over and they crammed themselves next to Opie as close as they could get. Sam gave GG his finger to squeeze and April tickled then held GG's little foot.

"They don't wake up at the same time?" Opie asked.

"Most times they do, but not always," answered Tara.

When GG finished her meal, Opie, pro that he was, put the burping cloth on his shoulder. He gently cradled GG against him, stood and rubbed and pressed light circles on her little back. Then came the trucker's burp again.

"Wow –" said Opie. "Is that normal?"

"It is for GG," said Jax.

"Ought to make her real popular with the guys in elementary school," Opie said.

Jax and Tara chuckled.

Then Opie began walking around with the tiny baby, talking to her about her Mom and Dad, telling her how lucky she was to have them and them to have her. Meanwhile, Donna looked into the bassinet and saw JD waking from his slumber.

"Little man's waking up," she said.

Opie walked over to JD's bassinet and peeked at the little boy. Donna picked him up and took him to the nursery for a quick change and when she brought him back, Opie was positioned to repeat the feeding. He kissed GG, gave her to Tara, who held her for a bit then handed her to Chuck who was grinning so hard that Tara thought his face would break. Opie took JD into his arms.

"My God, he looks like a baby Jax. Shit - I'm having a Benjamin Button moment here. He's the spit of you, Jackson."

Jax just beamed with fatherly pride. After JD had eaten, Donna spoke.

"Opie, come with me. Chuck, bring GG. We've been putting them in the crib together for a little bit so they can play with each other. It's the cutest thing. Bring your phones." Then she, Chuck, April, Sam, and Opie left the room.

"I hope they let us keep our children," laughed Tara.

"You ain't seen nothin' yet," Mya chimed in. "Wail til Jason gets here. He's liable to abscond with them back to Chicago while you sleep."

Tara grinned, pleased that her babies were so loved! She rose from her chair, went into the dining area and starting clearing the lunch plates.

"Oh no no no no no," said Jax, who rushed over to her. He took the plates out of her hands, walked her to the living room and positioned her comfortably on the couch.

"You promised me you'd take it easy today." Jax took the plates then went into the kitchen, tossed the disposables, unloaded the dishwasher and put the cutlery and glasses in, turned it on, then hand washed GG's bottle. He checked the fridge to make sure there was enough milk for the day, then he covered the lunch buffet.

"Martha Stewart," said Mya.

Tara laughed. "He's been wonderful My. I don't know how I would have managed all this without him. You and Donna, too."

"Jax," Tara called out, suddenly.

He looked over at her.

"-Oh, OK," he said, reading Tara's facial expression.

Mya helped Tara up and Jax took the pump and bottles from the pantry.

"Excuse us," he said, and he and Tara went into the bedroom. When they were finished, Jax completed the ritual cleaning, capping and storing. Then returned to the bedroom.

"Why don't you stay in here for a bit, sweetheart? Jason will be here in about an hour."

"Yes, OK," Tara said. "But I want to see Opie and Donna off to their apartment first. I'll lie down again after that."

Jax and Tara returned to the living room just as the caravan was entering from the nursery. Both babies were yawning and stretching so Chuck put JD in his bassinet and Opie put GG in hers. Both babies quickly dozed off.

"C'mon," said Donna. "Let's get you guys to the apartment."

"You too, Chuck," said Jax. "I'll walk everyone down but give me a minute."

"C'mon, babe," he said to Tara, taking her hand.

"See you guys later," said Tara.

"Absolutely," said Donna.

Jax walked Tara to the bedroom and tucked her in. "Try and rest a bit," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "Mya is staying here and I'll be right back."

"OK," Tara said. "I love you."

"I love you, too," and he hustled to the living room, took two of the suitcases and led the way to Donna's unit with Opie right beside him.

"How's TO's kid doing?" asked Jax. "I haven't inquired about him at all."

"He is a wizard Jax. As good as we thought Juice was, Matt's 10 times better. Talk to Donna – she's with him every day. Him staying with us works out, too. He's been teaching computer stuff to Sam and April and helps them with their homework."

"Glad to hear that his presence is working out for you and I will talk to Donna, too," Jax said. "I'd like a complete formal update on what he's done, though I am sure that I am enjoying the benefit of some of it. "

"Yeah," said Opie, "remote access to company servers so that you can work from anywhere."

"Well look, Ope, you're here now at your home away from home, so let's talk more later. Dinner will be out at 3, which is when Jason, Mya's husband, will be arriving. Zeus and Opal will be here at 8."

"Got it," Opie said.

"Alright, brother," said Jax and he hugged Opie again.

"I'll be back up once I get them settled in," said Donna.

"OK, Don. Come on Chuck, let's get you delivered," said Jax and they walked around the corner to Nitta's unit. "Stand over there."

Jax knocked. "Nitta, it's Jax."

"Just a minute," she said, and the door opened shortly.

"Did I wake you?" Jax asked.

"No. I was just lying on the couch. I'll be back upstairs at 4:30."

"OK," said Jax, then he leaned in to Nitta and whispered in her ear, "If you want to use the studio at night, let me know."

Nitta clearly had no idea what Jax was talking about. But it became clear once Jax stepped aside and there stood Chuck, grinning as if he'd hit the lottery! Nitta began to grin as well and Chuck walked slowly to the door, where Nitta gave him a big hug.

"What a pleasant surprise! It is good to see you- I'm so glad you're here. Bring in your bag. You came with Opie? Did you eat?", Nitta said, not stopping to take a breath between sentences.

They literally slammed the door in Jax's face.

"Ohhh-kayyy," said Jax, smiling. "Guess I'll go back upstairs, now. Doesn't look like she'll want the code to the studio."

Tara was resting when Jax got back upstairs. In fact, she slept through Jason's arrival and awakened at 4:30 to express more milk but didn't leave the bedroom until almost 5:30. Opie and the kids were in the apartment as were Chuck and Nitta. Abel and Thomas were in the mix, too, along with Lawrence and Mark, Jason, Mya and their sons Alex and Max. There were hugs, more hugs and kisses for Tara, but introductions to each other and the babies occurred earlier.

Chuck and Nitta were carving the roast beef and oven frying the sweet potato fries. The asparagus was sauteing on the stove. Then, Esme and her cousin Dylan, a college student, took all the kids to Mya's unit for pizza, ice cream, and later, a movie and popcorn. They also took Uno cards, Parcheesi, travel checkers, and bingo with them. As soon as dinner was ready, the adults served themselves and ate their fill.

Tara was loving the company. It was wonderful to be with her friends, old and new. She had spent very little time with the babies today, though she'd had to express milk several times. The twins had established a new eating schedule to which her body was not yet accustomed. Jax had been watching her like hawk all day, making certain that she kept her word about taking things easy and resting as much as she needed to.

Time went by quickly and before she knew, it was 6:30. p.m. Zeus and Opal, who arrived over an hour early, were met outside by Jax, Opie, and Jason, who happened to be walking the babies in their double stroller. Jax and Jason removed Zeus' and Opal's bags from the limo, and the entire crew took them to their unit. Once the bags were dropped, everyone proceeded upstairs.

There were greetings and introductions, many hugs, and many more kisses. Theirs was the last iteration of introductions and baby play and Zeus and Opal fit right in. It was if the entire group had been friends for years.

The next planned activities were baths and feeding for the twins and the fight over who would do what was legendary! Opal and Mark won for baths, Opie and Jason won for feeding and Zeus and Lawrence won for burping and post feeding play. Chuck protested that Opie already had a feeding turn, so Opie abdicated his turn to Chuck. Once JD and GG had been bathed, fed and burped, all the adults, except for Jax, Jason and Tara went to the nursery to watch the twins play together a bit before bedtime. Jax used this time to wheel the bassinets into his and Tara's bedroom.

"Happy babe?" he asked Tara when he returned.

"So happy," she replied, taking Jax's hand.

The remainder of the evening passed in a blur with Jax and Tara finally taking leave of their guests around midnight. Then after some passionate and satisfying love play, the loving couple both wasted no time falling into a deep contented sleep.

**A/N: The first paragraph, where Opie lifts Jax from the ground in a hug is an homage to one of my favorite SOA scenes. It's the one where Jax is passed out in the nursery, unable to stand, right after Abel is kidnapped. Opie hauls Jax to his feet then picks Jax up into his arms and carries him into the bathroom. Jax, limp, allows Opie to carry him. I loved that scene – don't ask me why. **

**Also, Chuck is a more dignified name for a VP, don't you think? Jax using Chuck is a sign of respect for the small man's abilities. Please review! SOA forever!**


	73. Chapter 73

Friday Morning – 10 a.m.

Jax and Tara were in the studio, waiting to be beckoned upstairs. They had been summarily ushered down there by Opie and Donna. The couple's laptops and computer tablets had been confiscated, and access passwords demanded. Jax was taking the whole thing in stride, as he had plans of his own but Tara, not so much, even though she had something cooking as well.

"Come on babe, have a seat," Jax entreated. "They'll get us soon. Want some tea?"

"Sure," Tara said, taking a seat on the couch. "But why would they need our devices?" She kept looking at her watch.

"No clue," Jax said, but spying Tara looking at her watch for the umpteenth time added, "Going somewhere?" Jax teased. Tara smiled weakly in response.

Jax knew his wife well. "You aren't worried about the kids, are you? Esme has reinforcements in her cousins Dylan, and Eric. They are both sophomores in college and are capable of handling 7 kids. Look at it as 2.3 monsters apiece. They are all good kids and well behaved. Besides, Esme has all of our contact information."

Tara nodded. "I'm sure they'll enjoy themselves at the children's museum, lunch, then the fun palace. Esme says they'll be back at 4 for dinner, baths, then a pajama party/movie night with all of us at our place. You'll have to move the cocktail table for extra room, though. Thanks for thinking to add Abel's best friend Ginnie to today's activities. He's very fond of her and she doesn't get invited to many things outside of school."

"No problem. You told me the story about how Abel stopped several of his classmates from bullying her and I took him to several of his play dates with her, so I got to meet her and her mom. She's a beautiful little girl with a sweet disposition. She's smart, too. I'm proud that Abel took on that wrong and righted it. I can't imagine why she was singled out like that."

"Well, the obvious 'reason' if you want to call it that is that she's the only African-American in his class," Tara said, "but you hate to think that crap still goes on in this day and age and among children so young. Who knows?"

"Yes," said Jax, "and he didn't invite anyone to his party that ever gave her a hard time."

Jax thought about that imaginary no African Americans to be admitted to SOA rule – again, not in the by-laws. He had no idea how that idea came to be. It wouldn't have made sense given the horrors of the Viet Nam experienced by people of all races, creeds, and colors. Viet Nam vets had an especially strong bond among them, regardless.

"You sired a hell of a kid, Jax," Tara said.

"And you raised him to be who he is with little help from me," Jax retorted.

While they talked, Jax puttered in the kitchen area making Tara's tea, but before he finished there was a knock at the door. It was Opie.

"C'mon, we're ready. Let's go up."

Jax turned off the stove, helped Tara to stand and they accompanied Opie out of the studio to her upstairs apartment.

"Should we be worried?" Tara asked.

"Of course not," said Opie. "But I hope you're kidding me with that question."

"Oh, yeah. Of course I am," said a worried Tara. Jax put his arm around her and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

They quickly arrived at her apartment and Opie knocked. Mya opened the door wide, and Tara saw Opal, Zeus, Donna, Lawrence, Mark, Chuck, Nitta, Teresa, Opie, Ginnie's mom Charice, Teresa, and Reverend Smith, to whom she was introduced for the first time. She and Jax looked around the festive room and saw it was filled with all manner of boxes and bags. There were balloons, streamers, and cards, and banners of welcome for the babies. Jax's beloved contemporary country music was playing in the background.

"Oh, my heavens!" exclaimed Tara. "Look at all this! You guys! When did you have time to plan all this? You shouldn't have." Tara started to cry and Jax rushed her to a seat on the sofa. Mya got her a wetted washcloth. Zeus and Opal were taking pictures and videos with their phones. JD and GG were sleeping comfortably in their bassinets, having received the breast three times between 10 and 6 last night.

Donna had Jax sit next to Tara and she then handed them a computer tablet. Jax then noticed the laptops and tablets set near their guests. Like a choir conductor, Donna nodded, and the screens came live. Tara gasped and Jax broke out in a smile that could light up the east coast! Donna had set up a web conference call and visible were, Nero, Reverend Connors, Elliott, Roger, Harry, Mr. Wiley, TO and Marj, Laroy, Lin, Alvarez, Munser, Michaels, Margaret Murphy and David Hale.

"David?" Tara said. She looked at Jax questioningly.

Jax shrugged. "He took care of you when I didn't, at a time when you really needed someone," Jax said. "For that, I'm grateful to him." _For trying to steal you away, not so much, but it was understandable Jax thought. At the same time, if he ever tries that shit again… _Tara interrupted Jax's train of thought when she kissed his cheek at the gesture. She smiled and nodded at David, and he smiled and nodded in return.

"Did you know about this, Jax?"

His only response was a lopsided smile.

There was also a feed from the chapel. The whole MC was sitting around the SAMCRO conference table, grinning like a group of Cheshire cats.

"Piney!" Tara said.

"How're doing sweet cheeks?" the always flirtatious old man said.

"Chibs!"

"Hey, darlin' – Jay-sus Christ ye're a sight for sore eyes! You ran away from us before we got a chance to tell you how truly sorry we are for how we treated you, lass, us not keeping Jacky in line and all. It was wrong and we hope you can forgive us. We miss you…" the Scotsman offered.

"Tig!"

"Hey doll face!" the impulsive triggerman purred.

"Bobby!"

"You doin' alright, Doc?" asked the club's Elvis.

"Juice…Juice…," said Tara, speechless given her love/hate relationship with the wild haired member. Deciding to take the high road, Tara clasped her hand to her chest and mouthed "Thank you" to the man who literally saved her life at great risk to himself and almost destroyed her life by revealing to her a club confidence.

She saw the other members and prospects as well, some she knew, some she didn't know, but she greeted each one fondly.

Opie took over introductions between the people in Fayetteville and the folks in Charming and Jax was full to overflowing at the sight of his chosen family, in both places, come together.

"Well come on Jacky boy, open the gifts," said Chibs.

"Wait – one minute, please," said Zeus, who had just ended a phone call. He went over to the door and held it open. After a few minutes a small entourage of five men and a woman entered the room. There was an extremely well-dressed, tall, tanned, distinguished looking white haired gentleman at the center of the group. Zeus walked up to him, hugged him, and kissed him on each cheek. Opal went over as well and kissed him too.

As the group entered the room more fully, Jax and Tara saw that it was Nonos! The two stood and rushed over to him, his twinkling eyes and warm smile working to disarm them completely. Nonos opened his arms wide and embraced them both. At the same time, however, Jax looked into Nonos' eyes. He clearly saw the love that Nonos had for them.

But Jax was not seduced into believing that the one dimensional kindly loving old man vibe that Nonos was giving off was entirely who he was. He saw Nonos' strength, his power, wit, resolve, intelligence and his cunning, and Jax nodded imperceptibly to Nonos letting the old man know that Jax saw the whole of him in all his complexity. Nonos returned the nod, knowing that he had been seen and that he was seeing Jax as well. This was a good thing as far as Nonos was concerned – and a great thing for the Andreadis clan, to have found another of Jax's caliber.

"Jackson, Tara," he said, touching each one's cheek and smiling. "So happy to finally meet you both."

He embraced them again, while Jax's and Tara's guests looked on in great interest.

"The twins?" Nonos asked, spying the bassinets.

"Yes," Jax said.

Tara took Nonos' hand and led him over to stand between the bassinets. "This is John Deo," she said softly. This is Gemenah Grace."

"Oh," Nonos said equally softly. He looked at the sleeping babies with such affection in his eyes. Tara saw tears forming.

"Deo," he repeated, "Gemenah". Nonos gently touched JD's and GG's bellies - so gently that neither of the little ones stirred a whit. Nonos closed his eyes, his lips moving but Jax, Tara, Zeus and Opal could hear the whispers.

"He's praying for them in Greek," said Zeus. He's saying "Bless these children, that they may progress in virtue and holiness under your care. O Good Lord, I pray you, grant us joy and happiness from them, in the holy name of the Father and Son and Holy Spirit, unto ages of ages."

Reverend Smith had bowed his head at Zeus's pronouncement and said, "Amen" at the conclusion of the prayer.

"I brought many gifts for them," said Nonos. "For Thomas and Abel, too. But they are in my rooms. Perhaps you will join me there later with the children and we will talk. My chef will prepare us a traditional Greek meal."

"How thoughtful of you. Let's schedule that," said Tara, sincerely touched. "But please sit, "all of you."

Jason, Opie, Lawrence and Mark all stood. Nonos, two of his men, and the woman all accepted vacated seats. One of the men in attendance positioned himself by the front door and the other one stood near the terrace doors. Once everyone was comfortable, the introductions began again.

"I want to present to all of you my uncle, Stavros Andreadis. He was married to my Dad's twin sister, Gemenah Teller, for over 50 years. The behemoth that you met earlier, Zeus, my cousin, is his son."

Jax could hear buzzing coming from the MC feed as no one there apparently knew that JT had a twin sister. He started with introductions to those present, filling in connections to his family past and present. When he got to the MC, Jax provided additional back stories – like Piney being his dad's best friend and fellow First 9, serving with him in Viet Nam, and his Dad buying books from Mr. Wiley. Nonos seemed deeply interested in everything he was told about everyone.

"I am honored to meet all of you," he said. "Thank you for sharing. At some point I would like to hear more about JT and the Club, no matter how tangential the connection to my beloved Gemenah may seem. She loved JT deeply and regretted their estrangement." At that, he looked at Jax, who resembled his aunt enough to be her son.

"Please," said Nonos. "I have interrupted this gathering long enough. Please proceed."

"We were just about to open the gifts," said Chibs."

Among the gifts received for the twins were five outfits each, including hats and booties, each suitable for an Easter Sunday, silver fork and spoon sets, silver engraved baby bangle bracelets, and silver rattles, the silver presents from Tiffany's gifted by Opal and Zeus. The MC sent a supply of tee shirts and onesies in increasing sizes that said SON on JD's and DTR on GG's. They sent shirts for Thomas and Abel, too. But these were just a few of the things received.

The gift opening went on for over an hour, and when it concluded, Jax stood and thanked everyone for their kindness and generosity.

"I have some things for Tara," Jax announced.

"I forgot to give you these, babe. This letter I wrote you on the date of the twin's birth, this one when they came home, and this one for today. I know you're not reading them now."

"I'll read them all soon, I promise," said Tara. "and I want you with me when I do."

Jax nodded. He then handed her a package and Tara immediately knew what it was by the weight.

She opened the package. In it were books - Cyrano de Bergerac, Robert Crumb's Bible of Filth, the Collector's Edition, and a Big Adventures of Tiny Dick and a Whimsical Willies Adult Coloring Books. Tara quickly thumbed through the last three books then turned a delightful shade of red.

"You and I need to discuss my reading going forward," said Tara, still blushing.

"What?" said Jax feigning ignorance. "Need some new colored pencils, too?"

Tara reached out and pinched him, then set the books on the cocktail table. Mark picked them up and worked hard to suppress his chuckles as thumbed through the Crumb book and the coloring books. He passed them around the gathering as others held out their hands for a peek.

Jax put his hands together in a contrite prayer of forgiveness, nodding at Nonos and Reverend Smith. He received a wink from the Reverend and several eyebrow wiggles from Nonos. When Donna received the books she held them for the Charming attendees, laughing along with their guffaws and snorts at the bawdy pages she showed.

"Jackson only purchased the Cyrano from me," said Mr. Wiley, "but you will have to let me know if it is worth carrying the other three," he joked.

"You should absolutely carry them," said Tig. "I'll be over for copies next week." Jax and his brothers laughed loudly.

"What?" said Tig. "I'm serious."

"We know," said Bobby.

Once the sniggles died down, Jax produced two large yellow envelopes. He handed one to Tara. She smiled at him as she opened it to find…her divorce decree and Tara's smile faded instantly. She assumed that the other envelop contained his. It did, and Tara suddenly felt overwhelmed with sadness and confusion.

Jax opened his envelope, signed and dated his decree, passed it Donna, who witnessed it and passed it back to him. He put it back in the envelope.

"Here's the pen for yours," Jax said, handing it to her. When Tara hesitated, Jax cupped her cheek.

"Listen babe. This has to happen. This was the linchpin in your plan to give me space to reflect and straighten myself and my life out. It is also the ending to all the bad, the hurt, the pain, that I've put you through. It's your turn to close up that circle. It's time now. He took Tara's hand and kissed it. Do you trust me?" he said, looking deeply into her eyes.

Tara pursed her lips, quickly signed and dated the document and passed it to Donna who once again witnessed it and passed it to Jax. She sniffed, desperately trying to hold back tears. When that failed, Tara tried to surreptitiously wipe the tears away, to no avail.

Jax put Tara's signed the decree into the same envelope as his. He licked the flap and closed it, handing the envelope back to Donna.

"I'll take care of these before the end of the day," Donna said.

"Babe, they're sealed now, closed up, ended," Jax to Tara. "Your plan is complete."

"Now what?" Tara asked Jax, in earnest, big tears threatening to fall once again.

"Now this," Jax replied, and he dropped down to one knee in front of the still seated Tara.

Opal and Mya both gasped, then smiled in anticipation of what was coming next.

Jax began. "Tara Grace. I have loved you for more than half of my life. Even separation never dampened what I feel for you. Our divorce is not an ending and in fact gives us a new starting point, a clear and definitive break between our past and the future that we can have together. I see this as my first marriage though, sweetheart, because I stand before you and all these people a new man, a different man, and I hope, a better man. So, Tara Grace Knowles, will you do me the honor of taking me to be your true husband?"

Jax reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. He opened it to an 18K white gold 7 carat emerald ring surrounded by diamonds, its setting having yellow gold accents. The ring matched the earrings and bracelet he'd given her back in Chicago. He'd actually bought the ring at the same time as the earrings and bracelet but he knew that the time wasn't right to give it to her.

The room was deathly silent except for the rapid breathing of the guests who were waiting to hear Tara's answer.

"It depends," Tara said, finally, only glancing at the ring.

Jax continued to hold up the precious jewel while he waited to hear Tara's conditions, knowing in his heart that there was nothing she could ask of him that he would deny her.

"I want the six of us to carry the last name Knowles-Teller. So you'll be Jackson Nathaniel Knowles-Teller. Can you agree to that?"

"Absolutely," Jax replied without hesitation, looking at Harry who nodded, making note.

"I want to wed soon. In a church," stated Tara.

"Yes, and yes," he replied once again, without hesitation. "Just tell me where geographically you want to marry and we'll take it from there. But the church thing isn't totally up to me. I'm sure we can find one, but it's the coordinating the space and timing of everything." Jax looked at Reverend Connors and Reverend Smith. They both nodded.

Tara paused for another moment. Then she smiled a smile even more beautiful than her smile the first time Jax asked her to wed.

"Then yes, Jackson Nathaniel. I will marry you and take you to be my true husband." Jax rose and put the beautiful ring on Tara's finger.

Guests present in person and remotely began to clap, offer congratulations and whistle, with the MCs making so much noise that Donna muted their audio.

Jax pulled Tara from her seat and proceeded to kiss her senseless. The kiss went on so long that house guests began to hoot and catcall but quietly, reminding Jax and Tara of their surroundings. When the Jax and Tara show finally ended, she held out her hand so that everyone could get a good look at her exquisite ring.

"Happy?" Jax asked, kissing her cheek and resting his hand on her hip.

"You know that I am. You?" she responded.

"I couldn't be happier," said Jax.

"You know, I don't think that's true," said Opie.

**A/N: Remember, Deo is pronounced dZAY-Oh, and it's Stavros's middle name. Don't you simply adore my cliff hangers? I know that one of you absolutely does (smile). Please, please review. I love you all, my readers. Enjoy your weekend and upcoming holiday! SOA forever!**


	74. Chapter 74

_**Recap from Chapter 73: **_

_**"Happy?" Jax asked Tara, kissing her cheek and resting his hand at her hip.**_

_**"You know that I am. You?" she responded.**_

_**"I couldn't be happier," said Jax.**_

_**"You know, I don't think that's true," said Opie.**_

* * *

"What do you mean, bro?" said a concerned Jax. "I'm so over the moon right now."

Opie sniffed. "I don't know man, it must be the hunger talking. It's almost 1 p.m. and I haven't eaten all day."

"No worries," said Chuck, heading to the kitchen. "Nitta and I have that under control."

Chuck walked into the kitchen where Nitta was removing two large roasting pans of Italian sweet and hot sausages, and two large baking pans of mixed vegetables. There was a delicious looking Mediterranean green salad, crusty Italian bread, several flavored dipping oils, red and white wines.

Tara walked the short distance into the kitchen.

"Everything looks so good," she said. "Thanks, Nitta. You too, Chuck."

She then walked to Nonos. "I hope that you will join us for lunch."

Tara recounted the menu options. Nonos asked for a little salad, some bread, Italian dipping oil and a serving of veggies. He also asked for a small glass of red wine.

"I must watch my girlish figure," Nonos said, with a smile. Tara smiled at him in return.

Before returning to the kitchen to make Nonos' plate, she asked that his seated guests serve themselves, requesting the same of Nonos' security. Both security respectfully declined to eat while other members of Nonos' party joined the others in the kitchen area.

She next served Reverend Smith, who invited her to Sunday service, expressing interest in having the boys' attend also. There was a 9:30 a.m. Sunday school, and Reverend Smith said he would be glad to add Abel's and Thomas's name to the van pickup list.

Once Reverend Smith had his plate, Jax insisted that Tara sit. He prepared her plate and placed it in front of her at the kitchen island.

"I can't eat all of this, Jax," Tara complained.

"I know," Jax replied. "We'll share."

Jax winked, produced an extra set of cutlery and sat next to her. Zeus and Opal were eating over by Nonos. Donna and Opie, and Jason and Mya were over by the bassinets, engaging Nero. Lawrence and Mark had wrangled Charice and they were noshing with the Reverend. People were laughing and chatting, basking in the warmth and love present in the room and beyond. The Charming MC crew was eating and drinking, and were chatting with Zeus, Opal, and Nonos, telling stories about JT and asking Zeus about the Phalanx. The other Charming meeting attendees had signed off, except for Roger and Harry who were on with Nonos and the MCs.

Just then, a certain song came on Jax's contemporary country channel. He not only perked up the moment he heard it, as if that were even possible, and he went on a mad dash to get to the remote to turn up the sound.

"Don't wake the babies' Jackson!" Tara admonished.

Jax ignored her, of course, turned up the sound anyway and started his karaoke routine, complete with performance choreography and holding an imaginary microphone, their guests watching the show. Jax began to sing, accompanying the artist in his song.

_Done  
The first time I saw you, done  
Like the first dance was through, I was done  
That one kiss, I knew  
There was nothing I wouldn't do  
Just to give you_

_That house on a hill with a four-plank around it  
Every last breath 'til the last star is counted  
Just say the word girl, paint me, you're perfect  
I won't quit 'til the good Lord says my work is done_

_Like a faded out song on the radio, done  
Like the cowboy gets the girl when the credits roll  
I'll give you a lifetime of days in the sun  
Whatever you need and you want  
I won't stop 'til it's done_

Jax danced his way over to Tara. She swatted at him with her napkin then covered her eyes with her eyes while sporting the biggest grin ever. He grabbed her hand and kissed it lovingly then dropped to one knee while still singing into his imaginary mic.

_Done  
All the hell I was raising, done  
All the careless heartbreaking, done  
For the chance that you're takin'  
I spend my nights praying  
And all my days chasing_

_That house on a hill with a four-plank around it  
Every last breath 'til the last star is counted  
Just say the word girl, paint me, you're perfect  
I won't quit 'til the good Lord says my work is done_

Jax pulled her from her chair and began to dance with her, first embracing her tightly, then spinning her out, pulling her back and dipping her low. He continued to sing.

_You know I won't stop 'til it's done  
You need a man you can lean on, done  
You need some faith you can hang your dreams on  
Check 'em off one by one_

_In that house on a hill with a four-plank around it  
Every last breath 'til the last star is counted  
Just say the word girl, paint me, you're perfect  
I won't quit 'til the good Lord says my work is done_

_Like a faded out song on the radio, done  
Like the cowboy gets the girl when the credits roll  
I'll give you a lifetime of days in the sun  
Whatever you need and you want  
I won't stop 'til it's done_

_Baby, I won't stop 'til it's done  
Oh, you know I ain't done  
First time I saw you, done_

Jax and Tara's house guests gave them golf claps and well-dones. Jax, ever the ham, released Tara, and bowed deeply from the waist. When he straightened, he raised Tara's hand, pointed at her, smiled and nodded. Then the clapping began anew.

"You're crazy, Teller," she said, a little breathless from the dancing and her nearness to the love of her life.

"That's Knowles-Teller! And yeah, I am," he replied. "About you." He kissed the back of her hand again, delivered her back to her seat, then turned down the volume.

Opie chose that moment to tap on his glass with a spoon.

"OK, everyone. We have a little bit more business to conduct then you good people can get on with your day. I want to thank all of you for taking time out to come and celebrate the Knowles-Teller family, its new additions and Jax and Tara, two people who are near and dear to our hearts. (applause) Please continue eating while we move on."

Donna handed Tara a tablet, but only Nero, the MCs, Roger and Harry joined them this time. Opie opened the closet and pulled out a large box with a reaper sticker and a black bow and two smaller tall boxes similarly marked.

Chibs began to speak.

"These are from us, Jacky. You changed our lives for the better and saved SamCro. We know you want to leave the MC and had planned to retire by the end of the year. Since the MC businesses are set to go, and July will be a big month for us with grand openings, and such, if you want to, we voted to allow you to leave at the end of July, with tats. We'd let you go sooner, Jackie, but we still need you for a little bit longer. We hate to lose you, your vision and leadership, but we know that is what is best for you and your family. SAMCRO is about God, family, and community, now, thanks to you and the lass.

"Once you're formally retired, you will have to give up your kutte. We are giving it to Piney to keep in the SAMCRO archives. So you will need something else to wear."

Opie put the big box in Jax's lap. Jax opened the lid and unfolded several sheets of black tissue paper revealing a heavy, sleeveless black leather vest. He removed it from the box and held it up, seeing that the exquisite leather was deeply embossed with all the official SAMCRO markings – the reaper, the top rocker – everything. The front was embossed with SAMCRO markings as well except for the two gold patches on the upper right hand side. The top patch said "President, Emeritus" and the bottom said, "Founder, CMC". Jax looked at Alvarez then TO.

"We wanted to recognize you, too, for all the good you did for all of us," said Alvarez.

"Hear, hear," said TO.

Jax, now teary eyed, slowly stood up and handed the vest to Tara. She stood and looked into Jax's eyes for a long moment, giving him a warm and loving smile. She then held the vest up for him and he put it on. He kissed her, rested his forehead against hers, placed his hands at her hips and whispered "I love you". When they broke apart, Tara backed away and Jax held his arms outstretched and slowly turned around in a circle, tears freely falling now. Opie grabbed him into a bear hug.

"We love you, brother."

"Guys – I don't know what to say."

"No words are necessary, Prez. Just wear the vest with honor and pride. You'll be Prez for life, now. You earned it," said Opie.

He then produced the two tall boxes. Jax opened one. It was a new helmet. On the right was written the initials "JNT + TGK". On the other side were the initials of all four of their children. Opie gave the remaining box to Tara. It was also a helmet that said "Doc" in stylized lettering on the front, and the same initials on the sides. She and Jax hugged again and the room cheered.

Donna then handed Jax a small box. He opened it to find a deluxe Swiss army knife, made by the original Swiss army knife company, Victorinox. Then she gave him another box that contained a matching watch from the same company.

"You can't run around with a K-Bar anymore – you'll get arrested, but maybe you might want to carry this instead. It's completely legal in all 50 states."

"True," said Roger.

"Well you could move to Vancouver and carry a hand axe," said Zeus. At that Opal elbowed him in the ribs.

"Thanks, Don. I always wanted a Swiss army knife." Jax started fiddling with all the utility gadgets on it.

Then Opie gave him another box, a long one. It was heavy and Jax shook it, hearing something sliding back and forth. He opened it and found a double strand custom made brand new 24 inch biker wallet chain.

"Just like mine," Opie said, "only two of the kind on the planet."

"Thanks, man," said Jax. He hooked the chain up to his jeans and modelled for everyone.

"I want one," said Zeus.

"Play your cards right and I'll make it happen for you," said Opie with a wink.

Zeus laughed.

"Well," said Jax. "Here I am, all dressed up and nowhere to go!"

"So let's go downstairs and see how all this looks in the daylight," suggested Opie.

Mya picked up two tablets and most of the group trooped downstairs. Nonos and his crew, Charice and Nitta opted to remain upstairs in case the babies awakened. Opie and Zeus pulled on jackets, everyone else decided to tough it out. But they handed Tara a red wool ruana from the closet and she wrapped herself in it and proceeded to walk out with Jax.

Everyone reached downstairs and headed toward the glass front doors of the building. Jax was in front of the procession with Opie and Tara. He then turned to Tara.

"Stay inside the doors, babe. I don't want you getting sick," he said.

"OK," said Tara, "but you'll need this before you go out."

Tara gave him a heavy key fob with a ram emblazoned on its cover. The little group grew silent, its members smiling at the scene that was playing out before them.

"What's this?" Jax asked.

"Just go outside and press this button." She pointed to a button on the fob.

He looked at Tara again but did as he was told, hearing the beep of a car door lock being opened. He pressed again and walked toward the sound. One more time and he spotted it. A brand new fully loaded Blue Streak colored Dodge Ram 1500, with running board, chrome trim, rims, oversized cab and a truck bed cover. Jax opened the door and that new car smell assailed him.

"Ahhh," he said, taking a hearty whiff of that fragrance that was unlike any other.

He climbed inside, noting the black leather interior, oversized computer display, seating for six and sunroof. He located the button and turned the radio, already tuned to his favorite radio station. "Livin'", by Dirks Bentley, was playing and Jax cranked up the volume. The sound was rich, the bass bumping. By this time, Zeus and Opie had the door open at the other side of the beautiful vehicle and were conducting an investigation of their own, joined by several of the group that had ventured outside with them. Donna was next to them, with a tablet, so that the west coast contingent could see the goings on. Tara was still standing at the first set of inside doors, watching everything.

"Wow, this is hot man," said Zeus. "Opal needs to hook me up with one of these!"

Then Jax jumped out of the truck. He was so excited he left the door open as he rushed to Tara. Opening the doors, he snatched her outside of the building into his arms, hugged her and gave her a big kiss. He lifted her from the ground and spun her around and she squealed in glee.

"You shouldn't have baby, but I love it. I love it! Thank you so much," he said mustering all the gratitude he could not only for the gift of the truck, but also for the gift of the woman who gave him the truck.

"Well I figured you might want to ride around sometimes in something that doesn't have 4 car seats. Plus, we will need the capacity to haul in food for the family," she teased.

He hugged Tara again and looked over to see Opie and Zeus closing and locking his truck. But instead of joining Tara and him at the entrance to the building, they walked around to the side. Both men waved their arms, beckoning for Jax to join them. He put his arm around Tara and the two of them began walking, followed by the others.

"Are you warm enough?" he asked. "Do I need to get you inside?"

"I'm fine," she said, leaning into him.

Jax saw the sight even before he reached Opie and Zeus. Right out next the building was his own beloved DYNA Superglide Sport. He looked at Tara and she gave him the sweetest smile. He kissed her cheek and slowly walked over and touched his bike, lovingly, running his hands over the drag bars, the seat, the reaper on the gas tank, checking the engine. His group of friends had gathered around as well, some who had seen Jax and his bike in all their glory, others who had heard stories.

Opie handed Jax some keys.

"Had this shipped here and it arrived this week. It's been checked out at the cycle shop and is cleared for the road. Donna has a printout on what you need to do to get it registered here. We rented and insured a storage space for you for 3 months not 5 minutes from here. You can walk there if you want to – that way, you don't have to park your bike here all the time. Oh yes, and JT's Knucklehead is already stored in there. It's been checked out and given a clean bill of health, too. Here's a picture of it in its new place."

He handed Jax the photo, with the address of the storage location and the cycle shop on the back.

Jax's eyes filled with tears anew. He glanced and Tara, rushed over and gave her another kiss, then gave Donna a hug and a peck before dashing over to Opie.

"I love you, man. I don't know how to thank you for this," he said, straddling the machine that had been an extension of his body for almost 10 years and entwined with his identity. Jax grabbed the grips and tried to suppress the grin that he could feel spreading across his face.

Reverend Smith approached Jax.

"Beautiful machine Jackson. 2002 Dyna Sport?"

"2003," Jax responded.

The Reverend walked around the bike. "Hmmm, drag fairing, custom T-Bars, V-twin 4 stroke?" he asked.

"Yes," said Jax, clearly impressed. He knitted his brows.

"You ride, Reverend?"

"Every chance I get, son. I belong to a couple of clubs. One is called The Unbroken Road. It's a group of Christian Harley riders. We typically ride the second and fourth Saturdays of every month. You're welcome to join us as my guest. I'll email you the website so you can have a look. It has the riding dates as well as our charity runs listed. The other is a veterans' club. Of course, you and I can ride together anytime our schedules permit."

"That'd be great. And I'll look for that club info, Reverend," Jax said, fishing into his wallet to give the Reverend his business card.

"Well listen, Jackson, I'm going to get going. Thank you for inviting me today. Let me know if you and Tara decide to be married here. Will I see you at church on Sunday?"

"Absolutely," said Jax.

"And the rest of the family?"

"I'll talk to Tara."

"Can't ask for more. See you on Sunday, son, and congratulations."

As Reverend Smith went to his car, Jax heard the unmistakable roar of a Harley coming from the back of the parking lot. So busy looking at his Dyna and chatting with the Reverend, he hadn't noticed that Zeus and Opie had slipped away. Opie zipped around the corner on a Harley Softtail Low Rider and stopped near Jax. Then Jax heard the roar of a second Harley. Zeus rode up on a Fatboy, coming to an abrupt halt behind Opie.

"What?" said Opie. "You didn't think you were going to take your first ride alone did you?"

Tara walked over to Jax, as he struck that sexy lazy pose on his Harley that never ceased to cause her heart to flutter. He circled her waist with his arms, looked deeply into her eyes, then kissed her. He rested his forehead against hers, then smoothed her hair.

"I want my first ride to be with you," he whispered. "But I know that it's too soon for you to have 1000 pounds of hot metal vibrating between your legs yet. No need for you to say it, baby." Jax grinned and thrusted his hips forward in an unspoken communique, making Tara blush. He kissed her again, more deeply this time, then she stepped back onto the curb as Jax cranked up the engine.

This scene was repeated by Opal and Zeus and Opie and Donna. Then the three women stood together on the sidewalk, arms around each other, looking on in pride as their men put on their helmets and revved the powerful engines.

"Sweetie, we have got to get you one of those," said Mark to Lawrence, looking at the hotness before him.

"Don't even think about it," said Mya to Jason as he looked on in envy.

"You two ready?" Jax asked, over the roaring engines.

"After you, Prez," said Opie.

"Lead on, brother," said Zeus.

"Let's ride!" called out Jax, and the three men, related by the spirit, rode off into the streets of Fayetteville.

_This is a good day, thought Jax to himself. A very, very good day…no more sadness, only happiness, no more pain, only pleasure, no more lies, only truths. _

He couldn't know what tomorrow might bring, and he didn't care to know. For now, he was content to feel his skin warmed by the sun and the wind blowing cool on his face. For now, he was content to know that he had the deep love and affection of a good woman to keep him strong, and the high regard of friends and family to keep him on a righteous path. _Yes, this was a very, very good day…._

**A/N: Well my friends, this is the end for Lies and Truths! I have enjoyed writing this tale and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Here is the citation for the song, 'Done', by Chris Janson. Don't you love it? **

**Songwriters: Jamie Allen Paulin / Mitchell Edward Oglesby / Matthew Ryan Roy / Chris P. Janson**

**Done lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management**

**Thank you all for the encouragement, the reviews, and the PMs. You will never know how much each has meant to me. Feel free to keep in touch! May you enjoy a safe, happy, and wondrous New Year!**

**SOA Forever! **


	75. Chapter 75

**A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you are all well, through these exceedingly trying times. I cannot tell you how much I miss you guys! See the authors note at the end for more information on what's been happening with me. But for now, this is a chapter that I had accidentally deleted from Lies and Truths. It has taken me quite a while to decide whether or not to post it. But having decided to share it, I am publishing it as the final chapter to Lies and Truths. The new chapter goes after the published Chapter 3 and before the published Chapter 4, so you might want to reread Chapter 3, then "She Was No Rat", then Chapter 4. I didn't spend much time editing, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. **

She Was No Rat

An hour later, Jax slowly opened his eyes. After taking a moment to gather his senses, he rose, hit the john, then briskly walked through the clubhouse, nodding at the few members who were there shooting pool. Jax went to his bike, put on his helmet then sped off. _J_ax was so focused on his thoughts that he failed to notice that Opie had fallen in behind him, until he was 10 minutes into his 45 minute journey out of town.

Tara had not even called to inquire about Thomas and Abel, so he knew that their situation was beyond serious.

_This is the last card I have to play to find her, he thought._ _Please, please let me find her. _

After what seemed like an eternity, the two men pulled into a small parking lot facing a ranch style building nestled within a tall grove of trees. Getting off his bike and removing his helmet, Jax walked to Opie and greeted him with a warm hug.

"I'm glad you're with me brother," Jax said.

"You know I got your back brother," Opie responded, glancing at the building. "So what is this place, anyway?"

"It's a clinic operated by one of Tara's doctor friends. I thought maybe she might be here, or that her friend might know something."

Opie nodded in agreement as he and Jax entered the building. They walked into a neat waiting area where a receptionist handed them a clipboard with sign in sheets, which they filled out. She then handed them a clipboard containing papers requesting their medical histories, which they did not fill out.

"How long before we can see the doctor," Jax asked.

"Well, you've come at a good time, since we were really busy this morning. Dr. Osu is with a patient now, but your wait shouldn't be any longer than 30 minutes."

"Thank you, darlin," Jax replied with a wink.

He and Opie then found seats in a corner of the room to wait.

"Bro, is this by any chance the place where you sold the drugs for the trip to Belfast?"

"Yeah," said Jax. "Why?"

"We never found out who snitched us out to the feds, causing that raid."

"So?"

"Sign in sheets."

"Wait," Jax said, wheels in his head churning. "The raid was the day after Tara and I were here, so maybe whoever ratted was here the same day we were."

Opie nodded.

Jax stood and went over to the receptionist.

"Excuse me darlin'. Does everyone who comes here to see the doc sign in?"

"Patients, yes," she replied.

"And how long do you keep the sign in sheets?"

"Paper copies onsite for six months, then we send them off to be digitized, filed, and kept for 5 years, as required by law."

"Thank you," Jax said. "You've been really helpful."

He went back to his seat and filled Opie in. No sooner than he finished, the two men were called.

"Exam room 2," said the nurse, leading them down a short corridor. "And why are you here to see Dr. Osu today?"

"It's a personal matter," said Jax, "but I'm prepared to pay for today's visit."

The nurse then eyed the men, suspiciously. "Dr. Osu will see you in a few minutes," she said, and left the room, closing the door behind her.

True to her word, Dr. Osu entered shortly. Jax stood and offered his hand in greeting.

"Dr. Osu. Do you remember me? I'm-"

"Yes," the doctor interrupted. "You're Tara Knowles' friend. How can I help you?" He seated himself on a nearby stool.

"I'm just gonna say this straight out, Doc. I hope I can count on your silence."

"Absolutely," said the doctor.

"Tara and I had a big fight a few days ago. She stormed out and I haven't been able to locate her. I was hoping that you might know where she is."

Dr. Osu began shaking his head. "I haven't heard from Tara," he said. "In fact, I was getting concerned. She comes out here once a month to volunteer her services to local impoverished families but she hasn't been here for about 3 months."

"If she contacts you will you let me know?"

"If Tara says I can, I will, but I will strongly encourage her to call you herself. I will not promise anything more. When you locate her, will you let me know?"

"Yes," Jax answered quickly. "One more thing, doc."

"Yes?"

"Can we get a look at sign in sheets from April this year?"

Dr. Osu dialed the reception area and requested that the April sheets be brought to his office.

"HIPAA requirements prohibit me from sharing that info with anyone outside of people authorized by the patients themselves. Sorry."

Just then, Randi brought in the sheets and handed them to Dr. Osu.

"Thank you, Randi."

"Gentlemen, I need to make a quick call. I'll be back in 5 minutes," and with that Dr. Osu left the exam room, leaving the sheets on his desk.

Jax picked up the sheets and handed two to Opie, keeping the remainder for himself. Not even 1 minute later, Opie passed his sheet to Jax.

"Darby," Opie said.

Jax snatched the sheet and saw Darby's name, printed, signed, dated and timed.

"Darby," Jax repeated. He took a quick photo with his phone and put the documents back on Dr. Osu's desk. "C'mon let's head back to Charming, but you go on home and I'll call you in the morning."

"Naw, Prez. I saw you out here, I'll see you home, then head home from your place. Call me if you're going out again. And a suggestion – let Nitta feed the boys and prepare them for bed. You order pizza, just hang out with them nice and easy and put them in bed. OK?"

Jax was too mentally frazzled and exhausted to argue, so he simply nodded his head in agreement. He immediately phoned Nitta and asked for her help this evening, a request heard by an approving Opie. Once the new plans were set, Jax took off for home.

Once on the road, Jax's mind began racing. Darby sold them out but he had blamed Tara. That sealed their fate as far as he was concerned so he callously broke up with her again, using this incident as the final straw, and in an effort to hurt Tara so that she'd leave him finally, he slept with Ima. He hated his cruelty to Tara and he hated himself. To think he'd labelled her a rat and refused to believe her when she denied it. And to think that she was pregnant with Thomas during this time! Also, good and decent person that she was, she was volunteering her time to help others, unbeknownst to him.

The optimist in him hoped for a fleeting second that Tara was at home waiting for him but the realist in him knew that was not possible, so instead, he hoped for a phone call from her to let him know that she was OK.

_That'd be a start, he thought, a good start…_

**A/N: To those of you who are new readers, welcome and please review. To those of you who are still reading, thank you, and I'd love to hear from you. To those of you who may have put this aside having read it once, let me hear how you're doing.**

**Oh, how I miss the Sons of Anarchy universe! I was busy on the novel of Zeus and Opal when in early March, I fell, broke my wrist in two places, dislocated my elbow, and suffered a shoulder bone contusion (same arm). I had surgery, spent several days in the hospital and have been in recovery/physical therapy ever since, temporarily derailing my writing project. But I do intend to get back to it. **

**Before and during my writing for SOA, my writing love was Person of Interest characters, John Reese and Jocelyn Carter. If any of you know POI, and want to read my fanfiction offerings there, several stories of mine can be found on this site under writer "GuiltyPleasures48". I have one story there that I have to finish.**

**I sincerely hope that each of you and your families are well, and that the pandemic has not caused you harm. This is indeed a difficult time for us all but I pray that we will come through soon. Bless you all and remember – Sons of Anarchy Forever!**


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